Alien With A Universal Translator Decides To Test It On A Cat.

Alien with a universal translator decides to test it on a cat.

Alien: Hello cat.

Cat: Hello strange-cat.

Alien: why do you call me strange-cat? I am an alien.

Cat: Everything is either cat, strange-cat, not-cat, or not-food.

Alien: I am not-cat.

Cat: Not-cat is food!

Alien: NO! I am Not-food!

Cat: You bigger than me, but you is not trying to eat me. You is very strange not-food. You say you is not-food, then you is not-food. You sure you not strange-cat? You act like strange-cat.

Alien: Nevermind. Can I ask you a question about your owner?

Cat: don't know this word.

Alien: The strange-cat you live with.

Cat: Yes, that is my strange-cat. I take care of them. We play. We sleep. They groom me and make me happy. They can do many things. They are a clever strange-cat. But they dont know how to hunt. Poor strange-cat starve without hunting. So I hunt them food. I bring them food. They share food. They are a good strange-cat, even if they don't know how to hunt.

Alien: Is that why you bring mice and birds to them?

Cat: I see not-cat. I hunt not-cat. I have food for me and my strange-cat.

Alien: But you don't need to do that.

Cat: I do. Me and Strange-cat would starve if I didnt hunt.

Alien: No, look, when your strange-cat takes away your not-cat, and they give food later, dont you ever see that it doesnt look, or smell like the thing you caught?

Cat: My strange-cat is clever. Even if they don't know how to hunt. They take the not-cat and make food.

Alien: Dont you ever notice that you always get the same amount of food even though it's been days, or weeks, since you last caught a little rat, or tiny bird?

Cat: You say many strange words Not-Food. I hunt not-cat. I bring hunt to my strange-cat to show them how to hunt. They take my hunt and they don't hunt, because they are strange-cat. But they make food, because they are clever strange-cat.

Alien: Your strange-cat is called a human. They are powerful predators. They can survive many dangerous things. They are perfectly capable of looking after themselves. They are the ones who look after you! They get the food, not you!

Cat: You are very silly Not-Food. If this is true, why do I need to hunt for them?

*Cat leaves because it is time to go eat with their Strange-cat*