“I Do Not Write Every Day, I Read Every Day, Think Every Day, Work In The Garden Every Day, And Recognize

Love came in a bottle with a twist-off cap.

i fear she gets it you guys

thank you duolingo

hardcover or paperback? bookstore or library? bookmark or receipt? stand alone or series? nonfiction or fiction? thriller or fantasy? under 300 pages or over 300 pages? children’s or ya? friends to lovers or enemies to lovers? read in bed or read on the couch? read at night or read in the morning? keep pristine or markup? cracked spine or dog ear?

the city where we live doesn't allow public barbecues so my brother fucking welded a grill to a handcart and now hosts "chill and grill sessions" where he sends all his friends his live location so they can hunt him down on their bikes with sausages in their backpacks while he carts it around evading the police like some sort of barbecue vigilante, grilling on the run. i have never been prouder of him

a wonderful ao3 author note

To 🙌 the 🤔 Dark 🌌🔫 Lord 🙏 I 👁👁 know 🎓😮 I💰 will be 🙋🐝 dead 💀 long 🔨⌛ before ❄ you 👈 read this but I want you ♿ to 💦🌒 know that it was I 💰 who discovered 😎 your 💦 secret. I 👏 have 👏 stolen 💔 the 🗯💰 real Horcrux and intend to destroy it as 🖇🍑 soon 👀 as 👉😏 I 👁 can. I 🤔👁 face death 💀 in 👏👮 the 🙀🔵 hope 🙏 that 😭☘ when 🕙🕗 you meet 💯 your 👣 match you will 🙅🔥 be mortal once 💯😩 more. 🅱 R.A.B

the way that I try to be so artsy and cool but the reality is that i’m just a fucking loser

my boss just called me and we had a nice chat under albeit bad internet circumstances. the problem is that she - reasonably - expects me to be in my flat in south germany doing home office. this is because she does not know that 24 hours ago, i - unreasonably - on a whim picked up my backpack and my work computer boarded the first train north and am by now on a ferry halfway to sweden. how do i bring this up without getting fired. what the fuck will i do once i reach sweden. i haven't slept in a day