The Only Soundtrack

actually no, we're not "dating". we're bound together for infinity. like the stars. so, fuck you, actually.

"But I don't want small talk. Text me, and without saying hello, tell me why you got so angry at your sister this morning. Tell me why you have a scar shaped like Europe on the left side of your neck. Send me paragraphs about the time you spent at your grandmother's house that one summer. Call me when I'm half asleep and tell me why you believe in God. Tell me about the first time you saw your dad cry. Go on for hours about things that may not seem important because I promise that I'll be hanging on to every word you say. Tell me everything. I don't want someone who just talks about the weather."

for Acker, writing seems to be a way to slow down her pain, to snatch at and examine it

The young woman that emerges is herself in flux, and appears, by turns and at once, petulant, defiant, earnest, seething, self-sabotaging, fearful, isolated, longing. From time to time, and especially when discussing her cats or her writing, there are eruptions of elation, even ecstasy. She feels too much, doesn’t feel enough. She has a difficult time meeting people, she hates people. She loves her body, hates her body. She loves New York, hates New York. In one moment, she is completely convinced of the value of her writing; the next, it’s worthless. She craves authenticity while struggling to define what that even means. Above all, she is constantly questioning—what she thinks, what she does, what she writes and feels and remembers and desires. Even as the entries can feel hurried and harried, for Acker, writing seems to be a way to slow down her pain, to snatch at and examine it.

— Jason McBride, “Eat Your Mind: The Radical Life and Work of Kathy Acker“ (Simon & Schuster, November 29, 2022) 

Anaïs Nin, in a diary entry dated 27 February 1929, featured in The Early Diary of Anaïs Nin: Vol. IV, 1927-1931

Friendly Advice

Decide your major early. And don't tell anyone about it. At least not your teachers or people who will change your mind. It's application week here, and I was close to banging my head against the wall. It's not supposed to be difficult until you make it difficult. So, do what you wanna do. You do know it. You just need to shut off the noise that keeps telling you what you "have" to do.

being mysterious or hard to read or whatever is all complete shit. nobody cares abt u enough to be on their sherlock shit and try to get in to your mind or heart. nobody is wondering nobody is curious just go ahead and be normal

*Reclines in an armchair and reads fanfiction like a man from the 1950s would read a newspaper after work*

weirdest part about being an artist (and, to an extent, a writer too) is feeling like. shameful that you aren't creating massive pieces of art. how dare i not line and color and shade every drawing. how dare i only draw two poses. how dare i only write 1k words. how dare i not write an entire book. how dare i

THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BEEN LOOKING FOR

reason's why conan gray is sirius black's reincarnation

family line

his curls (in modern au's he's my fan cast)

family line

also found heaven is very sirius coded

family line

"ch- cherry hair, so super bowie" SIRIUS BLACK HELLO

also did i mention family line?

i love you vaccines i love you research i love you reading the book instead of having chatgpt summarize it i love you critically thinking rather than reacting to a headline i love you investigating the source material i love you science i love you math even though you are personally my enemy (math/yn slowburn) i love you writing even though you try to stab me a lot i love you Experts in Your Field i love you Using The Brain