New Powers Who Dis

I recently found out why my mom would never sleep around me when I was a kid. Like she’d never let herself take naps or sleep if I was awake, ever. Or if she did, she would lock her bedroom door. So when I was 6, I was asleep in my bed in the middle of the night when I hear a loud bang, like a pot being dropped and come out to the living room to see my mom standing by the window, with just a huge pile of spaghetti all over the sill, and a pot on the ground, and I ’m like “Are you gonna eat all that?” And ya’ll she get’s BIG MAD and yells at me and chases me to my room but then a little while later a bunch of cops show up and ask me a bunch of random ass questions about my art? Like this one cop lady keeps asking me to draw dragons for her?! And they seem mad as hell

I didn’t want to get arrested so I just never asked my mom for spaghettis after that. Lesson, learned. Don’t ask mom for spaghettis or she’ll call the damn police on you. 

So I have this memory in my head, and it goes unquestioned until I say it outload for the first time a few months back and as soon as I say the words “When I was six, my mom called the cops on me for asking for spaghettis” My adult logic slams into place and is like “Hang on. Your mother definatly did not call the police on a 6 year old for asking for spaghetti.” 

So obviously that’s not what really went down. I call up my mom to tell her how I remember it and on top of her figuring out why her kid has always been really cagey around spaghettis for the last 3 decades she tells me what really happened. 

So on that night, a man tried to break into our house through the front window. It was just my mom, and her kids so she did what she felt she had too and shot him in the head. He’d been wearing a helmet, which landed on the floor under the window.

Now I just want ya’ll to put yourselves in my moms shoes for a minute here. This woman has just taken a human life. The trauma of that- the instant agony, the panic, the guilt, the fear- all of it hitting her at once, her only solace the knowledge that her children are safe. She protected her daughters. No matter the cost to her soul- her children are safe.

Then she looks up and sees her six year old staring at the inside of this mans head before saying “Are you gonna eat all that?” 

penny, after several shots: fuck the feds! eat the rich!

jj, glancing towards emily: i’m trying pen

Yelena Belova is a delight 🙌

Also can’t y’all just imagine Dexter’s face when Valkyrie said “I’m with Luke on this one. They sound the same to me.” 

Everyone drop what you're doing it's Paget day ‼️ happy birthday to the sweetest woman ☹️💗

sometimes i just want to laugh at how absurd everything is. like, jeff bezos has enough money to literally end the war in yemen. he could literally end it. nearly any celebrity in the world has the money to fix the flint water crisis. like there is a handful of rich people who, if they just put their money where their fucking mouths were, could solve so many problems. but they dont!!! they just buy another house, or a car, or a company where they don’t pay their workers fair wages so they can get richer. it’s just!!!!!!! sometimes i want to laugh bc it’s so absurd and this is why we say eat the rich. 

Kes: Val you need to sleep it’s been four days.

Valkyrie: *Drinking her fourth coffee* Sleep is for the straight.

I like to imagine two things: 

- Dexter grabbed Valkyrie and danced with her when she was so overly bored on their long walk in book #8 to cheer her up and it totally worked even though she tried half-heartedly to free herself and NOT to laugh 

- the Dead Men spending a day at the beach which would be the biggest disaster including Dexter chasing a screeching Saracen into the water and Valkyrie building a sandcastle with Ghastly i’m needy of fluff and harmony please

I know. Somehow, I’ve always known.

Carrie Fisher as Leia Organa in The Skywalker Saga (1977 - 2019)