Latest Posts by siarah - Page 9

Skulduggery Pleasant AU: Valkyrie is persuaded by kenspeckle to leave skukduggery and work with the irish sanctuary in a different capacity/deal with the magic/mortal-life divide differently.

[This ask is a prompt for this headcanons post]

First of all, let’s take a moment to appreciate this tag courtesy of the AO3 Tag Generator:

[image reads: “sappy scientific femslash”]

Surprising absolutely no-one, I am 100% here for Valkyrie and Clarabelle as magiscience wives. Lab partners, even. 

Like, sure, Kenspeckle could get Val to do something that isn’t either Skeleton Detective Assisting or Sanctuary Scientisting, but also. Clarabelle is right there y’all. And Val likes coats.

Ghastly would be delighted! He would make the best labcoats!

Now for the plot nonsense. Handwavey I-haven’t-read-these-books-in-many-years ye-gods-there’s-some-kind-of-second-series-I-haven’t-touched-isn’t-there? time, but I’d imagine some kind of complicated Darquesse related fuckery goes down anyway, because look at China. Being a librarian has not stopped her from being very much involved in drama!! I see no reason for Val to be any different.

I just typed “does valkyrie cain like math” into google and one of the suggestions along the way was “does valkyrie cain have a girlfriend”. oh my god !!! oh my god !!!!!

But anyway! I cannot remember if she likes math! I think the reflection likes at least one of the STEM things in school though. A Valkyrie+Stephanie teamup sounds like a good time.

Also, Valkyrie gets a dog at the end of the series right? She should still get a dog. The dog should have its own set of lab gear. 

Like, the goggles and the boots and the coat. Ghastly should be the one making the dog’s clothes. Ghastly should be chasing this dog around the shop with a teacup. 

Yes.

Ghastly: If Skulduggery knew I was helping you open a portal to the faceless ones’ dimension, he’d-

Valkyrie: I don’t care. He’d do it for me. Tell me he wouldn’t. If I were missing-

Ghastly: He’d burn the whole world down till he could dig you out of the ashes. I know. Hell, you think I don’t want to burn the whole world right now? I’m just trying to be a responsible adult.

That scene in LSODM with Vex' abs said everything... 

Despite everything, I am so here for Val not being able to concentrate when there are attractive guys around.

ya know like….you always hear about the classics™ authors having stupid wild shenanigans with each other. they all banded together to be dumbass chaotic english majors together. the stories are great and they’re all considered timeless genius writers….we don’t have that with modern age authors? where’s the goddamn sense of community? where’s the saucy tales of jk rowling, stephen king, james patterson and nicholas sparks locked up in an orgy cabin during a hurricane and having a writing contest. no one’s ever gotten in a fist fight with stephanie meyer. rick riordan didn’t cry face down in george r r martin’s garden after no one liked blood of olympus. jodi picoult doesn’t have a single damn calcified heart in her possession. cassandra clare and suzanne collins never had sex on a grave. neil gaiman has never gone on a week long sex-binge that would have killed him if r l stine didn’t intervene. john green has never written a book in two weeks while snorting massive amounts of cocaine. where’s the drama!!! where’s the scandal!!!! where’s the intrigue!!! modern day authors have to step it UP a notch, God dammit.

u heard him ladies

This made me sad, because it is so true :(

I still remember hero worshipping Val and Skul when I was younger (I guess to some degree I still do) and now that I´m older I´m seeing all the flaws in their characters and their relationship... I guess Val did, too, in phase 2 and that´s a part of what caused her depression... Growing up sucks 

Hey, I just saw your post claiming Val and Skul's relationship is an unhealthy one. It confused me. Can you explain? (I feel like I have to clarify that I am not criticising you, I'm just genuinely curious since I've never heard this opinion before.)

[ kicks down door ]

Hi there :D

I’d just like to say that on some level, D.Lands planned this relationship while writing them. I personally believe around the fifth or forth book. Or it at least became more apparent.

It should also be noted D.Lands has a “”“"thing”“”“ on some level for age gaps.

Anyways, there are a few things wrong with the relationship.

One thing is the giant age gap. Skulduggery has never, to my knowledge, admit he was mentoring Valkyrie. He has always called her his partner. However, it is clear who hold the power in the relationship.

Skulduggery is a wealth of knowledge and adult experiences. He has lived several lifetimes-worth. You can see this ; Valkyrie doesn’t even know how to drive, let alone anything of the “world” he introduces her to. She relies on him for access to this world, to feel “adult,” in a sense. To teach her magic, yadda yadda.

The real issue here is that Skulduggery can be seen as “grooming” Valkyrie.

I mean grooming in this sense : Valkyrie is rewarded with something she wants ( access to this world, exciting adventures, magic ) by acting a certain way.

You can see this behavior in the first book: she didn’t want to let the death of a room full of people to affect her, because she wanted to be seen as “brave” in Skulduggery’s eyes ; not a child or a 12-year-old.

On some level, Skulduggery didn’t want an actual child following him around. If she had burst into tears ( like I know I would have at twelve ) he would have immediately changed his decision to let her follow around. I remember vividly how weirded out Skulduggery got when Valkyrie cried after her TOOTH got knocked out of her HEAD. I think she was 13 or 14 at the time, but he literally doesn’t know how to react when Valkyrie actually acts her age.

Not to mention, Skulduggery encourages her to not attend school, or interact with people her age. This is on top of the fact Valkyrie never tells her parents about Skulduggery or his tutoring ; she has no insight from actual adults who would see immediate red flags at how Skulduggery is treating her. ( This is also why I headcanon Melissa as low keyhating Skulduggery / not allowing Alice to participate in the world. )

She also mimics her behavior off of Skulduggery. In the first book, she is much quieter, in wonder, rather dorky. She thinks she’s really cool ( as all twelve-year-olds do lol ) and Skulduggery subtly makes fun of her. For instance, telling her about octopus-people or whatever, telling her that it’s funny some people ( the unlucky ones who DON’T meet a cool skeleton ) die without knowing about magic.

By the… third book, she is snappy and sarcastic and biting. She becomes reserved with people her age, haughty with others. Not to mention, Skulduggery pretty much talks for the both of them to EVERYONE, bringing Valkyrie along just for funsies. ( This is acknowledged in-text by various people. )

She models her behavior and actions off of Skulduggery to get his approval ( that is, more sarcastic, more stoic, etc. ). Not to mention, he explicitly comments on her “tight trousers,” mocking but at the same time rewarding her ( by noticing her ) for wearing them. Concerning stuff from an extremely older man in any other context.

He also buys her expensive things, like a room in his house, new clothes, etc., partially rewarding, partially to have her around him more.

I fully blame Valkyrie’s modeling on Skulduggery as the reason for her breakdown. She has never seen ( or really interacted ) with someone who shows emotions like a normal, functioning adult. She has never seen Skulduggery cry, or even get scolded for his actions, and she has seen this as THE behavior to emulate.

And then she’s suddenly the destroyer of the world, and she doesn’t have the ability to handle that. Weakness / evilness is something bad, to be looked down upon. She was scared she was going to mess up big time, and she didn’t tell Skulduggery because he’s never scared, and he would have never befriended her in the first place if she was EVER scared, or admitted to it.

But even then, she doesn’t have the structures in place to handle large emotional burdens.

AND ALL THIS IS FINE IN A NARRATIVE SENSE, EXCEPT :

1) The age range this is marketed towards ( young adult ) IS EXACTLY the age where this sort of grooming behavior begins.

2) IT IS NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED IN THE TEXT THAT THIS IS A HORRIFIC POWER DYNAMIC, IDEALIZES IT, SETTING BAD EXAMPLE FOR TARGET MARKET.

Your one exception is Kenspeckle ( the bae ), who vividly hates Skulduggery ( for good reason ) and loves Valkyrie, but this is NEVER explained. The above power dynamic was clear to Kenspeckle, not to Valkyrie or the readers. It came off as Kenspecks being a total douche for no reason, or the “grumpy father who disapproves of his daughter’s boyfriend.” When in reality, Kenspeckle is the ONLY ADULT who EVER realizes the situation Valkyrie is in, and tries to help her.

3) That codependency thing…

AND NOW, TO THE CRUX OF THE MATTER. This grooming is exactly why Valkyrie is codependent upon Skulduggery.

To recap : Skulduggery is the one who introduced her into the magical world, shaped her view and experience of it, and who continues to be her main access to this world.

Skulduggery, and Valkyrie’s want of this world, shaped Valkyrie’s behavior by : encouraging isolation from children her age, her parents, gentle but suggestive mocking, inappropriate comments, rewarding with his “”“time”“”“ and ”“”“attention”“”“.

Valkyrie, in a need to please Skulduggery : changed to become more like Skulduggery, models her behavior off Skulduggery. This includes : haughty behavior, superiority, isolation from friends and family, emotionlessness–or as closes as she can get, options on topics, places herself in danger to please Skulduggery, and going out of her way to learn about topics to feel she “impresses” Skulduggery and “fits into” the world.

( Not to mention, she is ALWAYS hesitant to discuss her personal, romantic relationships, because this might piss him off and he’ll cut her off. )

Literally, her whole life ( magic, personality, occupation ) comes from Skulduggery. She NEEDS him as a constant source of validation for this behavior, as well as a constant model to go off.

Hence : codependency. She needs him.

Skulduggery, meanwhile, likes Valkyrie because of her “innocence.” She knows nothing about his past ( blank slate ), and is literally in love with him and his style and his WORLD. This pleases his egocentrism. This is why he lets her follow him around. Because she adored what he introduced to her, and he is her number one source for continuing to learn, and she adores him.

Skulduggery is dependent on her for his ego. She is dependent on him for… a lot.

So, anyways, that’s why it’s unhealthy.

And that’s why I made that post ; I know that young readers ( like I was when I started ) see nothing wrong with the model presented in the books. Hell, when I started reading the books, I wanted EXACTLY what Valkyrie had. I wanted to be special, and hot, and smart, and have attention from adults.

The books ( and D.Lands by extension ) pretty much endorses it, shows why it’s bad, AND NEVER EXPLAINS WHY VALKYRIE WENT OFF THE DEEP END IN THE LAST 2 BOOKS.

Skulduggery emotionally stunted her. All that fear, and rage, and mostly, mostly self-doubt because she had FEELINGS, manifested in Darquesse.

Because Darquesse is what Valkyrie wanted to be. Untouchable. Emotionless. Powerful.

And that’s HOW Darquesse took over. She always insulted Valkyrie, offered violent solutions some part of her thought SKULDUGGERY would suggest. But mainly ? Darquesse just created self-doubt, until Valkyrie began to rely on her ( this emotionless powerhouse ), and then took over.

( This also falls into my headcanon that Darquesse’s voice never went away, just the power. Valkyrie still craves to be emotionless ( as Skulduggery taught her ) and powerful. So she doesn’t have to be human, so she can be COOL, like Skulduggery, and not be scared and afraid. It’s this smothering of emotion that led to Darquesse’s creation, anyways. )

But mainly, D.Lands NEVER EVER explained why Val and Skul’s relationship was unhealthy. Fuck, the books condone it.

This is also why the fandom reacted so viscerally to D.Lands dating a super young fan. It’s one thing to idealize, another to see it happen in real life, and realize the books condone that behavior.

( Just throwing it out there I ship Val // Dug so I am aware of these problems. That’s why it’s important for me to ship but also point out the problems. )

Anyways, please PLEASE let me know if you have any more questions. :)

okay so we all know that Skulduggery likes to show off in front of young Val. So just imagine him using lots and lots of long, complicated words in order to confuse her. And Val being the little shite she is obviously has to do something against it, so she starts reading dictionaries to be able to keep up with him. Especially, when he´s stuck with the faceless ones she reads them almost obsessively. Consequently, she starts to sound really snooty, whenever she talks. Unfortunately she won´t break her habit of cursing, so anything tat comes out of her mouth is just an utter mess.

Half of the time Fletcher has no idea anymore what she´s even talking about. China secretly thinks it´s the most hilarious thing ever. Tanith has no idea what to do. How the fuck do you handle a fourteen year old whose favorite book is a dictionary? And Ghastly, being the “responsible” one, is just really creeped out. He swears to himself to never! let! another kid! near Skulduggery! ever! again!!!

Well, that's a callout...

INTJ aesthetic things:

Getting a rush of adrenaline off of solving problems. Nothing beats that “eureka” moment!

Feeling profound joy upon entering a bookstore.

Walking into walls (and closed doors).

Hitting your legs on table corners.

Tripping on stairs.

I think you get it- being slightly physically inept.

Learning a small new piece of information and having everything come together like a huge mind-puzzle. Then, feeling like an absolute genius.

Finding peace in rainstorms and hot drinks.

Being so engulfed in a good book that the passage of time becomes arbitrary.

Feeling way deeper than other people will ever know.

Having arguments with yourself.

Changing paths because you saw someone you know in public.

Having a thought, and then multiple sub-thoughts, and then branching out all thoughts from there, analysing them, and coming to a bigger conclusion based on the assessment.

Either feeling like you can solve all the mysteries of the universe, or do nothing at all.

Sighing in relief upon entering [favourite subject] class.

Putting headphones in and feeling the world slowly fade away.

On the outside, looking completely normal. On the inside, questioning the existence human race and its cosmic insignificance.

Kinda gives me Patrick Jane vibes 💔

okay but what if skulduggery wears gloves to hide the fact that he still has his wedding ring on

skulduggery pleasant - resurrection.

i’ve been way out of sorts with reading as of late. heavily. and recently, i’ve picked it up again. there’s a magic to it. the reading and all that..

and i’ve reread the skulduggery series to then start with resurrection and then midnight and then bedlam, the last three books i haven’t read. and so, i need to say.

fuck i love reading. i love this story, like other stories, and i love the characters.

it’s magical. it’s heartfelt and it lessens the burdens. ya know? makes you forget about your problems, but also shows you that anything and everything you encounter is something you can pull through.

so, ya, reading is just fantastic.

also, side-note, militsa and valkyrie (if it’s a possibility) i ship the crap out of them. i also want valkyrie to be safe and happy and for her to forgive herself. by God i want that so bad.

Know I’m a little late getting into the bandwagon lads but seemed like a good time to post this.

Anyway go read Skulduggery Pleasant by Derek Landy for a much better story and magic based society. Also it’s set in Ireland and the main character, Stephanie/Valkyrie is best friends with a walking, talking, fireball throwing skeleton who drives a Bentley from the 50s and does nothing but talk complete snark. Good Omens fans would enjoy immensely.