Women In Shakespeare

Do you think Clark Kent's first few major articles were about the continued presence of lead pipes in parts of Metropolis' water system

I'm in hysterics watching the scene where Athos and Aramis tell the other everything. Sure, it's dramatic and awful and very bad stuff happens - justice for Lemay and Marguerite :(((! - but also: Treville experiencing more emotions in those 2 minutes than he had in his entire life up to this point? Porthos being so angry he expresses it by angrily hugging Aramis? D'Artagnan, notoire adulterer, having the most disappointed and long-suffering expression?? "You could have done that by not sleeping with her"?? Athos' look of pure resignation??? Each "there's more" eating away at Treville's sanity??? Treville flinging the hat??? Comedy gold.

insane plotlines for qaf us if it started in 2020 instead of 2000

he/they emmett (this one isnt insane i just needed to include it i stole this one from emily but it has not left my mind since i heard it)

brian gets cancelled on local pittsburgh twitter for strictly enforcing rainbow capitalism in every company he works with

ted gets really into nfts instead of crystal meth

wait even funnier instead of the website ted defintely starts an onlyfans

michael gets mad that everyone assumes he’s an ally and infringing on gay spaces because he just carries absolutely no vibes

justin has a thinly veiled self-insert comic on webtoon after he and brian hook up iand that gets picked up for a movie deal nstead of rage

daphne would be a kpop stan 

debbie almost goes broke from buying gay slogan shirts on etsy. decides to start a side hustle selling her own.

lindsey definitely gets into fights with other mommy bloggers

ben wrote the song of achilles in this universe mostly because i think that would be extremely funny

appreciation post for kaz’s best one-liners

because he’s the chandler of the crows

about jesper spelling ‘forgive me’ on dirix’s chest in bullet holes: “Compromise”, Kaz said. “I’m sorry does the trick and uses fewer bullets.”

“If you fail, all the world will suffer for it.” - “Oh, it’s worse than that, Van Eck. If I fail, I don’t get paid.”

“I had a question,”, said Kaz. “About your mother and whether the rumours are true.” (he says that to a guard in hellgate 💀)

when he tells wylan to watch jesper so he doesn’t go gambling: “I don’t need a nursemaid”, Jesper snapped. “More like a chaperone, but if you want him to wash your nappies and tuck you in at night, that’s your business.” (captain of the wesper ship from day one)

Kaz replied with a time-saving gesture that relied heavily on his middle finger and disappeared belowdecks. (i know, technically not a line, but still great)

“I’ll just hire Matthias’ ghost to kick your ghost’s ass.” (iconic 👏🏻)

when jesper doesn’t know what to do with the backless book: “Hold it up so we don’t have to look at your ugly face.”

“What is he doing?” asked Matthias. “Performing an ancient Zemeni ritual,” Kaz said. “Really?” - “No.”

“How do we cross? I don’t see anything.” - “Because you are not worthy.” - “I’m also not nearsighted. There’s nothing there.” followed by: “This is only one part of Hringkälla.” - “Yes, I know, then a tree tells you the secret handshake.”

“You can explain why our illustrious Shu scientist looks like one of Wylan’s school pals along the way.”

about van eck’s replacement for the ruby (that HE STOLE): “Nice pin,” Kaz said with a glance at the ruby stuck to Van Eck’s tie, “Not as nice as the other one, though.”

“Let’s go.” - “Me?” - “No, the idiot behind you.”

“How is-” - “Nina is fine. Jesper is fine. Everyone is fine except for me because I’m stuck with a gang of hand-wringing nursemaids. Keep a watch.” (actually it’s because of inej, but sure, kaz)

while petting a dog: “Now why can’t people be this easily trained?”

“I helped as well,” added Kuwei, looking sulky. “He did help,” Wylan said. “We’ll make him a plaque,” said Kaz.

“I need to do this. I’ve never been to my mother’s grave. I’m not leaving Kerch without saying goodbye.” - “Trust me, you care more than she does.” (i mean he’s right but jesus christ 💀)

“Pick up the pace,” Kaz said, eyeing his watch. “If I spill a single drop of this, it will burn straight through the floor onto my father’s dinner guests.” - “Take your time.”

when he breaks that dreg member’s leg: “My leg! My leg!” - “I recommend a cane.” (he’s a bad bitch and he knows it. 10/10)

Jellen Radmakker had fallen to the stage and was bellowing, “I’ve been shot!” He had not been shot.

when zoya tries to reanimate kuwei: “I really hope she gets this right,” murmured Nina. “Not as much as Kuwei does,” said Kaz.

in conclusion: kaz is actually funny as hell

if anyone else was wondering like i was, the reason people sometimes talk to wilhelm like “the crown prince will come with us” “the crown prince can do x” it’s bc it’s technically impolite to directly address royals when talking to them so you’re just supposed to use third person like that

Concerning Alicent's reaction to Rhaenyra's idea to marry Haelena to Jace, canon shows that Ned Stark and Stannis Baratheon (both male faves) would react no differently if someone suggested betrothing one of their kids to someone they know/believe is a bastard

It's why even if Joff was decent Ned rejected Littlefingers advice to keep the betrothal and to also betroth Arya to Tommen. It's why Stannis freaked out when whatshisname suggested marrying Tommen to Shireen. Because fair or not Westeros has certain views on inheritance.

Alicents reaction is very natural given their society

The double standards are something else

The issue of bastards is extremely hard to make modern audiences understand because most cultures, at least in the west, no longer have this stigma against them. (Although they suddenly don't have a problem with outdated historical values when it comes to excusing child brides or sexism hahahaha !)

Nyra may have actually had some good intentions there but it was still a slap in her face and she had to have known that to some degree. And Alicent was pretty chill about it next to the reactions of Stannis and Sybelle Spicer and the rest when offered a marriage alliance with a baseborn kid.

But even had she readily accepted, you know they would have found some way to spin it so she's a villain 🤦‍♀️"zomg look at Alicent trying to steal the throne by selling her OWN CHILDREN through marriage!!!1!1!?1"

What does the arab in your carrd mean? Is it like afab and amab?

.. i’m palestinian

I always wonder whether Batfam fans really get just how fucking rich the Waynes are. Like of course we shy away from thinking about the fact that we're talking Musk and Bezos money, and focus on how Bruce funds the freaking Watchtower and has what is functionally a high-tech military base and lab and the world's most expensive vehicles. But this is the one time you don't have to factor in the implications of wealth-hoarding, so there's nothing preventing y'all from understanding exactly how much money we're talking about here.

For instance, there doesn't seem to be any concept of how palatial Wayne Manor is, simply going by the outer facades of it that appear in the comics and movies. Or how decadent the lifestyles that accompany that kind of ancestral home. Alfred couldn't run that place on his own even if he had super powers, which is why even the movies occasionally show a rotating probably-temporary staff in the background. The house probably has like 3 hundred-foot pools. Their garden is a protected heritage park.

The Waynes are 10x richer than Crazy Rich Asians. They buy and wear the jewelry worth hundreds of millions that belonged to royalty. They own private islands. The art in the house alone is worth more than the GDP of a small country. They went to school with like every US President since Teddy Roosevelt and still think the Rockefellers are new money. They're personal friends with Beyonce and can get her to perform at private parties. They can rent out an entire three-star Michelin restaurant and fly out to one for every date. They have top-line penthouse apartments in every major city in the world. They can buy a luxury sportscar instead of hiring a vehicle anywhere they visit and then just toss the keys to the nearest person on their way out (Arab royalty is known for this appearently. There's been some very lucky parking valets in the UAE iirc).

Bruce is as rich as Ra's Al Ghul, regularly make social calls to heads of state and his family has a history of being king-makers. Every one of Bruce's children, from Dick to Jason to Cass, is poised to inherit one of the largest and most powerful fortunes in the world. That means every time Bruce adopts an orphan off god-knows-where, the entire global elite is thrown into consternation and horror. Even Tim is barely acceptable to these people because he doesn't have the pedigree. I don't follow the reboot comics so Idk if Duke is adopted, but it would be so fucking funny if he was because they'd react a lot like the British establishment did to Meghan Markle (except the family and WE would have Duke's back completely). As for Damian, the fact that he's not white would get him snubbed if everyone who's anyone didn't 100% know who Ra's Al Ghul is. And they're fucking terrified because, for maximum hilarity, they probably figure that Bruce doesn't.

I just find it incredibly fucking funny when I'm reading fics that the writers can only imagine Bruce and the kids's civilian privileges extend only to "big house", "a lot of cars" and "Gotham famous". Lol. Lmao even.

an underrated detail in pride and prejudice is that elizabeth bennett was home alone on the day darcy proposed because she had a headache. can you imagine. this was in the pre-painkillers era. you're at home with a headache and then this asshole walks into the room and tells you he loves you and wants to marry you even though he hates your whole family and you're beneath him. imagine having to deal with that while also having a headache. she doesn't even have ibuprofen