Latest Posts by sielutonlampikana - Page 5
Everyone: The covenant is a founding part of society. Vampires and witches can never be together. It would make them too powerful and the humans would notice, it puts all of us at risk. Only a fool would try.
Diana, a thirsty historian witch (read: the fool), 2.5 seconds after realizing the hot vampire with the profile of a Greek god was probably present for at least one (1) fall of Carthage:
also imagine the kids looking through their family albums the first time and realizing how young their mom was when she was already married 😭 like they always knew this in theory but the older they get the more it sinks in
Maybe it's just me but about bullying in teen media. The bullied kid is really often bullied all the time, their life made a hell for all of high school or middle school. It's probably just my school experience speaking but there should be a character that is bullied sure, but like, inconsistantly. Like you are bullied but there are long periods of time when you aren't bullied or mocked.
In elementary school three seperate people use your head as a leaning support and people call you a drawf but you're all friends and the teacher compliments the class for being so friendly and close. You remember how at 10 an older kid was holding your throat and lifting you up and when you told a teacher, she smiled like "well, oh no". Then people mock your tastes but then one or two other people like your music too so the mocking just stops. Then in middle school some kids take your backpack and hide it, throws snowballs at your head and get people to call you names. And then the names stick so much that your elementary school friend calls you that just in passing, not even thinking about.
And it is bullying, you know that but everything takes place in such a long timeframe that you kinda forget it happening. Then at like 16 it all stops and people act like respecting people is the norm and no one is bullied at your school after that. So when people talk about bullying or shit, you say you weren't bullied because now it feels like kids just being assholes. And there definitely were people getting bullied much worse than you so it feels like you can't say anything. Then two hours after you get a flashback to middle school where boys would hold every other girls' hand when learning ballroom dancing except yours because you were the gross one idk.
Probably real fucking specific or something but like a story about bullying where the bullying is different from just dumb jock pushing you against a locker or mean girls isolating you through psychological warfare that teachers just cannot see.
every fucking day i think about bruce springsteen pretending to be gay to avoid the draft and the conscription officers were like. “um. yeah, well. anyway, you had a concussion from a motorcycle accident, which means you failed the physical but. uh. thank you. for that.”
oh yeah have i ever told yall of the academic war i have been an unwilling soilder in for the past two years
AU where instead of trying to cure her infertility Yennefer just goes around saving random people’s lives and invoking the law of surprise bcos she figures sooner or later it’ll net her a baby. she hasn’t got one yet but she has amassed about 2 dozen dogs so she’s doing pretty well for herself.
I was going to file my taxes today. Oops
aware of his bisexuality steve (steddie, buckingham)
“Is that a hickey?” Comes out of Steve’s mouth without permission. But there it is, bright purple and red against the slope of her neck. She’s been walking kind of funny this morning, too. He’d assumed her period came early, but… “Rob, did you—“
Eddie fumbles the coffee mug he was pulling down. Chrissy freezes, face turning white with fear. Robin whips around, face bright red, and slaps a hand over her neck.
“Bathroom!” She yelps. “Bathroom now!”
“Wait,” Eddie says, setting the mug down with trembling hands. “It was me. Sorry, man.”
Steve stares at him, unimpressed. Why the fuck would he lie about—
He looks at Chrissy again, who takes a nervous step back, and it clicks.
“Right,” he says, nodding quickly. “You. You gave Robin a hickey. Had totally awesome sex that she didn’t even tell me about.” He directs that last bit at Robin pointedly. He told her almost immediately when he lost his guy-ginity. Traitor. “Yep. Sure. Got it.”
Eddie blinks, confused. Robin buries her face in her hands.
“Oh my god, calm down,” she groans. “That’s not going to work. Steve’s cool.”
“Cool?” Chrissy asks, still looking ready to bolt.
“Super cool,” he assures her. “The coolest. So incredibly cool, even if my best friend didn’t even tell me when she lost her virginity.”
“Steve!”
“Sorry, sorry,” he says. “But I am going to need details, Buckley. We can go over what worked, and what needs more oomph.”
“Oh my god, can we talk about this anywhere else,” Robin groans, at the same time Eddie asks, “What, so you can get off on it later?”
“What,” Steve says.
“You think two girls are hot, is that it?” He’s got a sneer on his face now, but Steve’s more observant than Dustin gives him credit for. Even if he wasn’t, it’d be hard to miss how hard his hands are shaking, the nervous tilt to his mouth.
“Ew.” Steve’s face screws up. “Dude, no. It’s Robin.”
“Hey, fuck you,” Robin breaks in, from where she’s started comforting Chrissy. “You thought I was hot for at least a summer.”
His mouth drops open in betrayal. “We agreed to never talk about that again!”
“Can’t help being sexy,” she coons. Chrissy giggles wetly. “You wanna get married, Harrington? Have my babies? Stay home and raise six little nuggets while I bring home the bread?”
“I hate you,” he informs her. “Hate you so much. We’ll have a nice, heterosexual wedding and share a sad, heterosexual kiss, and you’ll carry me over the threshold of our nice, heterosexual house, and we’ll have boring, heterosexual sex that gives us nice, heterosexual babies, because we are so heterosexual and happy in our suburburban house in our nice little heterosexual town.”
He’s honestly kind of proud of himself for saying heterosexual so many times. Usually he fumbles words with that many syllables, especially after that many times in a row.
Chrissy is outright laughing, now, endearing little snorts making their way between giggles. Eddie is looking between them like they’re a puzzle he can’t piece together. Robin grins.
“I’ll cuck you with the secretary.”
“Not if I cuck you first. You’ll be away all day in that office of yours, and I need someone big and strong to carry all the new furniture I ordered.”
“I knew it! I knew Timmy wasn’t mine!”
“Oh, but I couldn’t help myself,” he swoons. “Mark was just so sweet, with his bulging biceps and hand flexes, all hot and sweaty from helping poor little me while you were away! You know I’m weak to curly hair and brown eyes, Rob, how’s a man supposed to resist?”
“Fag,” she says, not without affection.
“Dyke,” he shoots back.
“Cocksucker.”
“Carpet—“
“Okay,” Eddie breaks in, clapping his hands. He and Robin both startle, and so does Chrissy from where she’s been watching them like a particularly interesting tennis match. “What the fuck is going on?”
“Robin lost her virginity and didn’t even tell me,” Steve says immediately, like he’s tattling to the principal.
“Steve doesn’t seem to understand the concept of waiting,” Robin retorts.
“I told you when I had gay sex,” he whines, and Eddie chokes. “I hate you. See if I ever give you tips again.”
“Oh, is that what you meant?” Chrissy asks. “Please don’t stop. They were good tips.”
Robin flushes all the way down to her toes.
“You like boys?” Eddie wheezes.
“Oh,” Steve blinks. “Yeah? I thought you knew.”
“You thought I—how would I know?”
The fuck is that supposed to mean? Steve’s been flirting with him for months!
“Robin always says we can sense each other! You sensed her.”
“You told him?” Eddie’s mouth drops open, and Robin looks sheepish.
“She didn’t have to,” Steve snarks. “You’re flagging in Hawkins, man. Was I supposed to miss it?”
“You know what flagging is?”
“Again, in case you missed it, I fuck men.”
“Fuck,” Eddie mutters. “Fuck! Christ, I can’t believe this. You’re, like, the epitome of heterosexual. I spent half of high school having to hear about how much pussy you were getting. Why are you not straight?”
“Wow, Eddie,” he deadpans. “Are you saying just because I like men and woman, I’m not queer enough? That’s kind of homophobic of you, man.”
“Yeah, Eddie, wow,” Robin says. “I thought you were better than this.”
“Fuck off,” Eddie says. “I feel like I need to lie down. My entire worldview just shattered.”
“I have a couch?” Chrissy offers shyly. “Or a bedroom, if you need a minute away.” Fuck, Steve kind of adores her. Especially since she’s apparently vicious n bed, if the five other hickies he counts just from Robin bending down a little to whisper in her ear are any indication. Good for her.
“Don’t worry, Eddie,” Robin says, with a glint in her eye that means he’s either going to love or hate what comes next. “If it helps, Steve’s never fucked a man in his life.”
Eddie’s brow furrows, looking between the two of them. “So…you’re just making fun of me?”
He looks a little angry now, and Steve can’t make heads or tails of this conversation because, “What the hell, Rob, yes I have—“
“Oh, so suddenly you’re the one doing the fucking?”
“Stop making fun of me for taking it!”
Eddie lets out an honest to god moan that he immediately slaps his hand over his mouth to cover up. “Right,” he says fervently. “Okay. I need to lie down, like, for real.”
They watch him stride down the hall, so fast he’s almost running, and slam the door closed behind him.
“I could totally top,” he mutters to Robin as something that sounds vaguely like muffled screaming echoes down the hall. “I top girls all the time. It’s not my fault prostates are a gift from God.”
“Uh, you top because all the girls you fuck are from small town Indiana. If one of them brought out the strap you’d drop to your knees so fast—“
“That’s—I like topping!”
“Your favorite position is cowgirl. Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”
“I will show Chrissy your baby pictures,” he hisses. Robin makes a face at him. Chrissy nods excitedly from where she’s still tucked under Robin’s arm.
“Oh what’s that?” Robin practically shouts. “You like being pressed against walls and ravished? You want someone to tie you up and have their filthy way with you? Is that what you said, Steve?”
Another noise from the bedroom. He narrows his eyes at her. “What are you doing?”
“Helping,” she says sweetly. “You’re both hopeless.”
“I told you he’s shy!”
“Eddie?” Chrissy asks. “Shy?”
“Yeah, okay, I was confused too, but I figured it was the romance! He told me he hasn’t actually been in a relationship before, I assumed he was nervous to take that step.”
“Yeah, but dingus,” Robin says sweetly. “You’re missing a puzzle piece here. He thought you were straight. He thought he was flirting with his straight best friend he didn’t have a chance in hell with, and then he finds out that said best friend likes taking it up the ass and men with brown eyes.”
“Oh,” Steve says, realization dawning. “Oh, fuck. What if he doesn’t like me like that?”
Robin smacks the back of his head. “Why are you stupid?”
“I don’t think you have to worry about that,” Chrissy says. “Like, really don’t have to worry about that.”
“I’m not coming over tonight,” Robin says. “I’m gonna stay with Chrissy again. Er…if that’s okay?”
“That sounds amazing.” Chrissy beams, and Robin turns red again.
“Yeah, I’m going to stay with Chrissy again tonight. You are going to invite Eddie to stay the night when he gets done with his little crisis, and then we’re getting lunch at the diner tomorrow and you can tell me about it before our shift.”
“Right,” Steve says. “Right, I can do this. I’ve invited guys over before, how hard can it be? It’s just Eddie. But that was hotel rooms, not my house and my bedroom with my shitty wallpaper. And it’s Eddie. Fuck, what if I’m shit at it? Robin, what if I’m actually bad at sex and everyone who’s ever said I was good was lying because they didn’t want to hurt my feelings? Oh my god, I’m totally bad at sex.”
“Woah, dingus, slow down. I think we took the mind meld too far, you’re turning into me.”
“If it helps, I don’t think you’re bad at sex,” Chrissy says. Steve and Robin look at her, and she flushes. “Because of the tips! Not because—I’ve never slept with you, but some of my friends did, and I got three orgasms out of last night, so…”
“Oh thank God,” he breathes. “I was worried for a minute.” Then he raises an eyebrow at Robin, and holds out his hand for a high five. She slaps it, begrudgingly proud of herself, and then takes the hand to pull him into a headlock that’s honestly more of a hug than anything.
“You’re fine,” she whispers in his ear. “You’re great at sex, as you keep telling me. What’s more, you’re funny, charming, handsome, brave, caring—“
“Aww, Robin, are you getting sappy on me?”
“Plus Eddie literally moaned in front of you when he found out you bottomed. I really don’t think there’s a way to fuck that up.”
Steve grins. “He did do that. I’m going to make so much fun of him later.”
“So,” Eddie says with a smirk, “men with brown eyes?”
“Hey man, don’t look at me. Blame Jonathan.”
Now Eddie looks stunned, mouth dropping open. “Byers?” He says, sounding betrayed. “You have a crush on Byers of all people?”
Steve feels offended on Jonathan’s behalf. “What’s that supposed to mean? Jonathan’s a good guy!”
“I guess.”
“What do you mean you guess? He’s sweet, passionate, good with kids, nice eyes. Can pack a punch. I mean, what’s not to like?”
“Uh, didn’t he steal your girlfriend?”
He waves that off. “That was, like, years ago, man. We’re cool now.”
“Right, okay,” Eddie mutters. “Well have fun with Byers, I guess.”
It clicks. “Oh,” he says. “Oooh. You’re jealous.”
Eddie splutters. “Jealous? I’m not—I don’t—you’re jealous!”
“Oh, am I?”
“Yes,” Eddie says resolutely, not looking at him.
“Right,” Steve agrees. “Well, if I am jealous, maybe I should know that I got over Jonathan years ago, and have since moved on to brighter, hopefully more attainable pastures than my ex’s ex.”
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“A different man with brown eyes?” He suggests. “Who is also good with kids, and passionate, and…” he trails off, suddenly realizing all those times Robin made fun of him might not be based on nothing. “Oh my god, I have a type. Shit, I have to tell Robin she was right.”
“I figured that was a common occurrence.”
“Shut up. Where was I going with this? I had a point.”
“You were telling me how awesome I am?”
“Oh, suddenly it’s you we’re talking about?”
“I mean,” suddenly Eddie looks shy, and Steve can’t help but think even with the change in context he might have been right when he told Robin Eddie was nervous about being in a real, romantic relationship, “isn’t it?”
He feels himself smile, slow and wide and probably more revealing than he means it to be. “Yeah,” he says, in a tone he knows Robin would call soppy, “it is.”
Me: *Removes my cat from my lap to do something else.*
My cat: Father is...evil? Father is unyielding? Father is incapable of love? I am running away. I am packing my little rucksack and going out to explore the world as a lone vagabond. I can no longer thrive in this household.
The fearless one.
Rhaenyra v Cersei: Battle of the Bastards
Lo' and behold, looks like I'm not done with bastardposting after all. For this piece, I would like to compare and contrast the two main situations that the general public has been exposed as far as the issue of illegitimate children is concerned within the ASOIAF-verse: Rhaenyra v Cersei.
The parallels are obvious. Rhaenyra has three bastard children, Cersei has three bastard children. Let's see how they handle it.
Rules
According to Westerosi law, bastards can't inherit. It doesn't matter if they're the husband's or the wife's, the King's or the Queen's. Children born out of wedlock to any spouse are explicitly excluded from the line of succession.
Only the King can legitimise bastards via a royal decree. Enough of this "Roose legitimized Ramsay" lies. It's patently untrue. Tommen legitimized Ramsay.
In order to be legitimised, the children in question first have to be declared bastards. You cannot legitimize trueborn children. You cannot secretly legitimise bastards. "Viserys claimed Rhaenyra's children were trueborn, ergo he implicitly legitimised them." No, he didn't. He never admitted they were bastards.
Why does this matter? Because it is unclear where legitimised bastards fall in the line of succession. If they maintain their place by birth order or if they are relegated to the back of the line, behind any and all other trueborn claimants.
There are no genetic tests available in Westeros. People have to prove adultery or rely on common sense.
1. Cersei has a distinct advantage over Rhaenyra, since her children look like her. She can very easily argue that they favour her, as their mother, and this is exactly what everyone believes for years, including Robert. Since Jaime is the male version of Cersei, Joffrey, Tommen and Myrcella can look like no else. Catelyn's kids look like Catelyn and no one bats an eye. Only Arya and (to Catelyn's irritation) Jon look like Ned. However, Ned doesn't ever doubt his children are not his.
Rhaenyra's kids look nothing like Rhaenyra and nothing like Laenor. They, instead, share distinct physical traits with her sworn shield, a man seen very often in her presence. People are not idiots. There is no plausible deniability here. You can bet your bottom dollar that if Cersei's kids were, say, Dornish-looking, people would be calling her out for her bullshit.
There is a way you can reasonably get away with passing over your bastards as someone else's, but that is 100% not Rhaenyra's way. This is why Cersei is chilling in the Red Keep, living her best bad bitch life, while Rhaenyra is running away to Dragonstone when the rumours are nipping at her heels. They are not the same. There are no paternity rumours to quell Cersei's girlboss vibes. She is sly enough that even Robert is convinced he inseminated her (gross).
2. I'm not going to get into the intricacies of Ned Stark's Scooby-Doo, Hercule Poirot mystery plot of unraveling Cersei's misdeeds. Ned has his own beef with the Lannisters and is convinced they are up to no good. He investigates them like the meddling kid he is and comes away with a suspicion. He knows nothing (heh) for certain until Cersei verbally confirms it for him. yOuR bRoThEr Or YoUr lOvEr. boo!
Had Ned not been on the Lannister trail from the very beginning, a fair assumption can be made that he never even would have suspected anything untoward. He never questions the children's paternity when they visit in Winterfell.
Again, this is distinctly different from Rhaenyra's situation. No one believes Cersei's children are bastards,* whereas no one believes Rhaenyra's children are trueborn. Pretending otherwise is very, very strange.
*at the beginning of AGOT, at least
3. Robert claimed Joffrey all his life and specifically named him his son and heir in his will, under dictation, to Ned. In turn, Ned deliberately changed Robert's words and wrote them down as "my rightful heir".
This is a parallel to show!Alicent, who misunderstands Viserys' dying words and him naming his son Aegon as heir. If Alicent didn't have the right to muddle the King's meaning, then neither did Ned. However, no one in their right minds is arguing that Ned is a traitor to the Crown. I wonder why is that?
I have already pointed out the circular logic in arguing that Robert only said that because he didn't know the children weren't his.
4. So what does this mean? Can anyone just accuse anyone they don't like of being a bastard and, thus, endanger that person's entire social status?
No, of course not. But, unfortunately for Cersei, Ned and Stannis aren't just some randos in a tavern. Ned is the Hand of the King. Stannis is Lord of Dragonstone and on the Small Council. These two men have a stalwart reputation and are renowned for their obsession with justice, duty and, in Ned's case, honour.
If Ned Stark stands in front of the Iron Throne and proclaims Joffrey a bastard, risks his daughters' lives and literally ends up losing his head as a result of this,
if Stannis Baratheon sends letters throughout the realm claiming Cersei's children are illegitimate,
the people of Westeros are going to pay attention.
These two very important men using their public platform to denounce Joffrey and starting wars over this? Say what you will about them, but they are not oathbreakers and they are not liars. No, they don't come with DNA tests, but for a lot of Westerosi, this is enough. They believe it.
Is this foolproof? No, of course not! But it convinces enough people that they are willing to band together to support rival claimants to the throne, thus igniting the War of the Five Kings. Speaking of political headaches, this is a huge one!
That being said, while Cersei is playing in the Champions League, Rhaenyra is fighting for her life in the relegation zone. She doesn't even need a Ned or a Stannis to cast doubt on her because no one believes her kids are not bastards.
Moreover, Vaemond obviously parallels Ned in this story. He tells the truth in open court and loses his head for it. In the show, Daemon and Viserys play the same role as Joffrey. In the texts, Rhaenyra and Daemon are stand-ins for Joffrey. This is not meant to be a triumphant moment of girlbossery. This is an abuse of power and an act of terror.
All in all, I'm sorry to say, but Cersei wins this hands down. She is savvy enough in her choice of sperm donor and can maintain plausible deniability without looking like a goddamn clown and the entire circus to boot. She holds the capital and has access to all the emblems of state after Robert dies. In contrast, Rhaenyra is floundering across the Blackwater Bay, yelling at the dragon gargoyles that her children are trueborn.
Why is this issue important in the story?
a). No one has a problem with Jace being King.
If people had a problem with Joffrey being King, enough to go to war over it, it would be narratively inconsistent for them to just accept an obvious bastard as King. It would contradict the internal logic of the fictional world we're talking about. That's quite some level of suspension of disbelief just because some fans like Jace. This isn't about him being amiable or a good kid.
b). They're still Rhaenyra's sons / it's a Targaryen internal matter and concerns no one else / the concept of Jace being King doesn't personally affect anyone else, so why does anyone care?
Because it's the freaking law! The name of the crime Rhaenyra commits is high treason! Punishable by exile or death!
No, the crime is not adultery, it's not having bastard children, it's specifically putting said bastard children in line to the throne. In that, Rhaenyra is as guilty as Cersei is.
It absolutely does affect others, since Rhaenyra actively steals the inheritance of House Velaryon for Luke. How is that not a crime? I would even go so far as to say that Laenor and Corlys are complicit in it and should be punished as well.
Contrary to bafflingly-popular erroneous beliefs, the monarch can't just do whatever they want. Even in absolutist monarchies, the sovereign serves the vital social role of upholding the law and the rights of their subjects. Rhaenyra breaks said law by committing theft, murder, high treason and destabilizing the entire system of inheritance.
c) Rhaenyra breaks the social contract
Jock Locke argues for the "right of revolution" in the Second Treatise of Government. He writes that when the government acts against the interests of its citizens, then said citizens gain the right to overthrow it and replace it with an authority that will.
I am not trying to impose 'progressive' understandings of the political process anachronistically, in a medieval fantasy; my thesis-statement is that we have already seen this concept at play within the world of ASOIAF: the Faith Militant uprising against Aenys I and Maegor due to their practices of incest and polygamy and Robert's Rebellion, caused by Rhaegar kidnapping a noble lady and Aerys II carrying out executions without due process. The people of Westeros are not unfamiliar with opposing monarchs who don't abide by the law.
The question of Rhaenyra having bastards is framed in a lot of commentary through the lens of her right as a woman to have extra-marital sex and not be demonised for it and to find fulfilling love within the constraints imposed on her by her station. While debating the personal individual freedom of women in a patriarchal feudal society is not to be side-lined, her fundamental fault is that she is demanding rights and exemptions for herself, while the rest of the country have to abide by an entirely different set of rules.
The laws of inheritance, as unjust as they may appear to our modern eyes, are in place to prevent crises of succession, violent conflicts or even large-scale wars from starting every time someone's estates are passed on. Illegitimate children suddenly gaining access to inheritances threatens the political and economical calculations that predicate many Westerosi marriages.
Imagine paying a handsome dowry for your daughter, just so her husband's bastard birthed by some high-born mistress to make use of his maternal family's resources and cheat your legitimate grandchildren out of theirs.
Imagine being married to some lord and now his random bastards threaten the inheritance of your lawful children. Because, hey, the Queen acts like this is fine! This is Catelyn Stark's worst nightmare.
You think you can just sue your husband? What a silly notion. You think you can sue the bastard claimants after your husband is dead? Tough luck, your liege lord may rule in their favour by taking a leaf out of Queen Rhaenyra's book. You think you can appeal to Queen Rhaenyra? How are you going to travel all the way to King's Landing? Good luck with that, maybe you're built different and don't die during this dangerous and expensive journey.
Is this fair for the illegitimate children? Hell no, but Rhaenyra and Viserys are not planning on reforming family law in any meaningful way, because they know what a hassle it would be and how much opposition it would meet!
It reeks of rights for me, but not for thee and I, for the life of me, don't understand the stronghold she has on the liberated feminist brigade.
and finally
d). The Green Coup is not dependent on the legitimacy of Rhaenyra's children.
No. But her committing high treason earns her an automatic disqualification from her right to rule, rendering her claim null and void.
i hope we get the scene of matthias doing cpr on kaz saying i. should. let. you. die. where every full stop is punctuated by one (1) compression
Good morning! I’m salty.
I think we, as a general community, need to start taking this little moment more seriously.
This, right here? This is asking for consent. It’s a legal necessity, yes, but it is also you, the reader, actively consenting to see adult content; and in doing so, saying that you are of an age to see it, and that you’re emotionally capable of handling it.
You find the content you find behind this warning disgusting, horrifying, upsetting, triggering? You consented. You said you could handle it, and you were able to back out at any time. You take responsibility for yourself when you click through this, and so long as the creator used warnings and tags correctly, you bear full responsibility for its impact on you.
“Children are going to lie about their age” is probably true, but that’s the problem of them and the people who are responsible for them, not the people that they lie to.
If you’re not prepared to see adult content, created by and for adults, don’t fucking click through this. And if you do, for all that’s holy, don’t blame anyone else for it.
i don’t kno if it’s intentionally vague because of spoilers for the future or if it’s it meant to be the only cultural legacy of valryia is turning essos into a slaving culture and burning people alive but either way valyria is ash and the targs are killing themselves over ghosts instead of just accepting they are regular old westerosi people, like what actually *is* valryian culture targ stans always go on about, what was it? what do we know about it?
I’m finally reading the Accursed Kings series by Maurice Druon, I had not realized it covered the case of Marguerite and Blanche of Burgundy and ummm….. really has forcibly put HoTD back into historical perspective for me.
For those not familiar with it, the daughters-in-law of King Philip the Fair of France, Marguerite (married to the eldest son Louis) and Blanche (married to the youngest son Charles) were both caught having an affair with a pair of brothers. Needless to say, it does not end well for any of the parties involved. The men were flayed, hanged, and beheaded, and the two princesses were imprisoned, with Marguerite being murdered a year later so that her husband could remarry. And her daughter, Jeanne, who would have been the heiress of France, may or may not be a bastard, so is forcibly removed from the line of succession by the invention of Salic law, which dictates that the crown can only pass to men through the male line. (Since Louis who may or may not have been her father died without any male heirs) Unsurprisingly, this causes problems! And partly sparks (among other things) the Hundred Years War between France and England.
Having bastards is serious business with serious consequences for married women. And YES, it is absolutely unfair and ridiculous that men can do it with far fewer consequences, but the show downplayed what those consequences can be. In GoT, the whole starting point is that Cersei has illegitimate children and passed them off as her husbands, and people are killed to keep that secret. Not to mention the humiliating punishment that she has to endure, and she was only being punished for having sex as a widow!!!
My point is that Rhaenyra having bastard children is kinda downplayed in the show, and that this IS a big deal both historically and in universe was glossed over.
"Why don't the people of Gotham just move?"
Because it's a massive East Coast city but the property values are probably like $200 a month for a three bedroom apartment, and most Gothamites are like, "Hey, Bane never swore to break my back."
And here's the thing: you're not just moving out of Gotham City. You're moving into the rest of the DC universe. And it has hero-based power scaling.
Oh, Metropolis looks fucking great. But it gets invaded by aliens and robots and demigods, because Superman is there.
Wonder Woman's tangling with gods.
You go to Central City, and some Reverse-Flash motherfucker runs backwards from an alternate future and kicks your balls off at the speed of light.
You could move to the West Coast, and oh, an entire city just gets exploded by Cyborg Superman or some shit.
How about you move to Indianapolis, or Cleveland? Haha, no. They have no protector during the alien invasions, and you're in Cleveland
So stay in Gotham. Sure, you have lunatics, but you know that if you had a gun, you at least have a chance against the Joker or Riddler. Mongo of War-World would crush you. But Gotham just has creeps, and you know you have a chance. Even Bane, R'as Al-Ghul, Killer Croc, and Mr. Freeze are just slightly altered dudes. Oh no, Poison Ivy is going to kiss me to death! Who gives a shit, you kinda wanted to go out that way anyway.
There are super-intelligent telepathic gorilla warlords in Africa and the Greek titans are real and chained in the abyss
Jason had a favorite perch when he was Robin. It was just a statue behind the library, with a wing you could sit under when it was raining, but Dick never paid attention to it and Tim never even knew about it, so it became his place, a symbol of his Robin.
He didn’t think anything anyone noticed until he came back and found that the statue had been turned into a shrine to the dead Robin by the local kids
I’m not going to explain myself
Battinson announcing the list of charities he wants to support during the floods.
This shocks a LOT of people because, as of now, he’s never publicly contributed to humanitarian projects since becoming CEO. But what confuses them more is how Batman is seen expertly breaking into two different charities that were listed by Bruce Wayne.
One reporter gets suspicious and makes up a theory: He catches Bruce in public and asks, “Is it true you hired Batman to investigate the legitimacy of charities you donate to?”
Queue the awkward, anxiety-ridden Battinson freaking out because oh no they’re getting close to figuring it out, aren’t they? Oh fuck oh fuck-
Battinson: Who’s Batman?
The reporter just looks at him like he’s an idiot, but Battinson’s dug himself a hole now and all he can do is just keep digging.
Suddenly, the public comes up with a new theory: Bruce and Batman HATE each other. Batman is investigating the charities because he doesn’t trust Bruce Wayne, and Bruce is offended and refuses to acknowledge the newly publicized vigilante.
Bruce proceeds to be hailed as a Petty King TM on Twitter.
Bruce forwarding Wayne Enterprises advertisement emails to Tim for him to deal with only to realise too late he's actually been sending them to Jason.
He only finds out as he's driving down town and sees a giant billboard reading 'Wayne Enterprises. Our CEO is getting plowed by Superman. Can you say the same for yours?'
Suprisingly, the share price goes up.
Finland: Elisabet II is dead, long live Kaarle III
We in Finland have a long tradition of re-naming the royals to fit our language, so a king George is in our history books Yrjö, and Elizabeth is slightly more understandably Elisabet. But since Elizabeth II reigned so long, I never realised the board of Finnish language has in the meantime renewed their recommendations and now in the official press, Charles III is just Charles III, not Kaarle III like we all expected him to be. Charles sounds like some random bloke was just dragged off from the streets to be the King, Kaarle sounds like an actual king. My friends are at the moment arguing what to call him and many are stubborly calling him Kaarle. I am of the opinion that if you are any royal worth your salt, you should be getting a weird, awkward Finnish name for Finnish use.
Robin: Eddie, you have not had the full Steve experience until he makes the swan napkins for you
Lucas: or he just cooks for you in general
Nancy: orrrrrrrr when he starts driving really fast and there's like 8 people in the car + you and him and you have like 4 people making out, 1 is drinking, and the other is sitting on the edge of the window with their entire torso out the car. Bonus points if there's pop rock music in the background
Steve: Nancy-
Nancy: or when you're at his party and some drunk girl begins to strip on his table
Steve: Nance-
Nancy: OR whn you, Carol, Valkyrie, him, and Tommy are just chilling and you and Carol are talking and then all of a sudden him and Tommy are making out, fully sober then say "it's not gay if we have girlfriends"
Eddie: Steve, wtf
Steve: me and Tommy had a running gag where we would kiss and at the time it was funny because gay people but in reality we just wanted to kiss a guy
Dustin: I'm sorry excuse me?
Steve: the joke was that I was prettier than Carol and Tommy wanted to fuck me
Another strange scene I have in my head
Hellfire ending same time as basketball practice. Jason being a little dick. Tommy is there too since he is the freshmen's/sophmore jocks ride. Anyways, Jason is being a bitch, trying to be the new King™. Steve is fed up with his bs and is like "You do know you'll never be as good as I was...and still am" or smth like that. Jason is like "you wanna go" Steve is like "I'll fucking destroy you" he does! Tommy sing-songs "King's back~" Eddie is like "wtf do you mean?" And one of the older jocks explains "part of the reason we called him king was because we were terrified of him" meanwhile, Jason is getting his ass kicked hysterically in the background. The younger party is wide eyed hearing their stories of times Steve has been kind of frightening. The scene ends with Nancy being like "GUYS! JASON IS BLEEDING ON THE FLOOR CAN SOMEBODY GET HELP!" The scene ends and it cuts to Steve in the back of a cop car with sirens in the background (other than that, complete silence) it's filmed from the rear view mirror and you can see hoppers eye and and Eddie's hair in the shot as well.
That's all I got really.
Steve makes one of those teacher tiktok accounts where he mostly talks about teaching and tips for learning and stuff, he also posts videos like
“You wonder what it’s like to be a teacher? I’m spending my evening doing seating arrangements, the trick is to not let people who have any kind of tension, are close friends, have a crush, lose concentration easily, sit close to each other… so basically I’m playing sudoko but I only have 1, 2s, and 3s… and also the numbers change daily..” you can see him looking down at something wrinkling his eyebrows and then nodding to himself and he’s like “I think I got it though”
the next day he duets it and it’s just him looking tired and in the background you can hear incoherent shouting, the caption just says ‘there’s apparently been a breakup’
for some reason there’s a comment by Eddie Munson, famous rockstar, that’s like “you should let it play out, drama is what high school is about” and Steve has just replied “this is why you repeated senior year twice” not acknowledging at all that this famous Grammy winner commented and everyone are just like ??? ?? what are you doing here ??? and why is this high school teacher roasting u ???
Still haven’t finished Blood, Sex and Royalty yet (planning on finishing it this Thursday) but one thing I do really enjoy about it is how the actors show moments of silliness/levity or just human moments of exasperation with their characters. Obviously this production has them act with modern mannerisms but there are ways of doing this more historically in character. I’m thinking Jeremy Irons as Robert Dudley groaning and resting his head on the table during a frustrating council meeting or his facial expression as he mocks the Duke of Anjou, or in The Virgin Queen when Elizabeth balls up a piece of parchment and playfully throws it at Robert’s head which triggers lightheared parchment fight between two old friends. It’s absolutely delightful.
I feel like sometimes period dramas get too caught up in making their characters super serious and in earnest all the time, especially if the characters are well known historical figures. But they were still humans too - they would have pulled faces, rolled their eyes, shared inside jokes with their friends and have moments of awkardness or bursts of emotions. They didn’t always have the perfect one-liner ready as a response. They were not cool and collected all the time, even if they were monarchs - and especially when they were not on display. I seriously doubt Elizabeth for example walked around in her private rooms, back straight and face impassive for example. Which is why when Cate Blanchett’s Elizabeth audibly sighs with relief and her shoulders slump forward after her heavy coronation mantle is taken off of her, or when she gets flustered and frustrated preparing for her first big speech to Parliament, it feels so wonderfully human.
Shows like Wolf Hall, The Tudors and even the Starz historical dramas I think sometimes lean too far into presenting themselves as “serious” historical dramas that they make their characters larger than life and forget the fact that they also were human beings.
Finland: Elisabet II is dead, long live Kaarle III
We in Finland have a long tradition of re-naming the royals to fit our language, so a king George is in our history books Yrjö, and Elizabeth is slightly more understandably Elisabet. But since Elizabeth II reigned so long, I never realised the board of Finnish language has in the meantime renewed their recommendations and now in the official press, Charles III is just Charles III, not Kaarle III like we all expected him to be. Charles sounds like some random bloke was just dragged off from the streets to be the King, Kaarle sounds like an actual king. My friends are at the moment arguing what to call him and many are stubborly calling him Kaarle. I am of the opinion that if you are any royal worth your salt, you should be getting a weird, awkward Finnish name for Finnish use.
Beuty of memes trancending languages is witnessing someone complain how “Goncharov” should be transliterated in Finnish as “Gontšarov”.