MEET ME IN MONTE CARLO. — Jake Sim. (teaser)

MEET ME IN MONTE CARLO. — jake sim. (teaser)

SYNOPSIS. As a Formula 1 driver, being competitive is just in Ferrari driver Jake Sim's blood. Perhaps Jake cares about winning too much though, because during his conquest for the world title, he loses you. It isn't until 2 years later when you show up at the Monaco Grand Prix with his main rival, Red Bull driver Park Sunghoon, when Jake finds himself determined to not only fight for the championship, but also to fight for you.

GENRE. fluff, angst, exes to enemies (one-sided ish) to lovers

PAIRING. formula 1 driver! jake x fem! reader

WARNINGS. none in the teaser. in the fic, cursing, mentions of car crashes and accidents

ESTIMATED RELEASE DATE. late march, early april

WORD COUNT. 20k ish, teaser is 883 words

AUTHOR'S NOTE. well... this will be my second to last fic for the meantime! i'm excited to drop this one. i've been working on it for quite a while now. here's a formula 1 fic starring our very own jake sim :) i hope you enjoy this little teaser, and the taglist is open so just pop in an ask if you'd like to be tagged when i post this <3

TAGLIST IS OPEN, send in an ask if you’d like to be added!

You were the first person that Jake Sim ever loved. You were there at his first Formula 1 race, you were there at his first race win, and you were there for his first world title win. A series of firsts.

But, Jake Sim has first breakup on the list as well.

He always regrets how things ended between you two – it was messy, it was awful, and it left him crying at 3 in the morning in his apartment.

Jake isn’t certain about many things in his life. But what Jake is 100% certain of, is that the breakup was all his fault.

You had screamed at him, and he knew that he deserved it. You were slowly slipping away from his grasp, and Jake allowed that to happen as he chased another world title so desperately. So desperately to the point that he would end up neglecting you.

Forgotten dates, forgotten anniversaries, and forgotten birthdays. Text messages would be left unread for days when he was in some other unfamiliar city, as you walked to your lectures with a heavy heart and the stream of his race playing in the back of your phone as you waited for a response. You wore red every time he had a race, for Ferrari, for him, even as your relationship was crumbling.

“I’m sorry,” he had choked out. “It is difficult.”

You looked at him with bloodshot eyes and shaking fists. “It is. And you’re chasing your dreams, but… I can’t be with you if it’s like this. The past few months have been like we weren’t even dating in the first place.”

Jake gulps. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“I want to try,” you had said with an exasperated sigh, and Jake knows that you’re tired. He’s going at maximum speed, and you’re left trailing behind him. He’s so far ahead, and you know you’ve lost all hope of catching up. But you say those words anyway. “Please tell me you’ll try.”

Jake doesn’t say a word. Because he knows that he won’t be able to. He wants to say yes, so badly. He wants to hug you, he wants to kiss you, and he wants to commit. Just as he commits to his races, to the championship, to Ferrari.

But he can’t. Not a single word leaves his lips, and his silence is enough of an answer for you. “Oh,” you say, and Jake doesn’t miss the way your voice quivers, and your lower lip trembles. You’re dressed in red, Ferrari’s colour – his colour. “Okay.”

“I’m sorry.” he told you.

“It’s important to you.” you pressed your lips together in a thin line. “I understand.”

You say that, but Jake knows that you don’t. He knows nobody would ever be able to understand choosing to win over choosing someone you love. But Jake is committed to racing. He is committed to win.

Yet, he’s not committed to you. The one who’s been with him through thick and thin, the one who’d catch red-eye flights to find him in some unfamiliar city to watch him win, the one who’d go through hell and back for him if it meant that he’d be happy.

He can’t do the same for you, and he hates that.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated, and you simply shook your head. You don’t have anything more to say to him, so you quietly pack your things. “I’m sorry.”

Before you opened the door to leave, you took one last look at Jake. “I hope you figure out whatever’s going on in your life.” You don’t say anything more, and that is the last time Jake Sim ever sees you again.

He doesn’t know what you’re doing either, because you’d deleted your Instagram account, starting a new one where none of his fans could keep up to date with you. The only way he knows how you’re doing is updates from Heeseung's girlfriend Yoona, who goes on trips with you often. He sees his fans constantly wondering if you’re doing well, and Jake finds it funny how he’s got the same exact question.

He drowns himself further in training, in racing, in wanting to become the best after the split. He wins, he wins, and he wins again – and that feeling of euphoria when he stands on the podium never leaves. It fills him with a joy like no other, and it reminds Jake why he does this. He wants to win. He wants to be the best – no, he is the best.

Winning means the world to Jake Sim. Racing is in his blood – he does it to hear the crowds scream his name, he does it to lift that trophy on the top step of the podium, and he does it to feel the overwhelming pride in his chest when he crosses that chequered flag first.

But he’s been so focused on winning, and he’s lost his everything.

His everything is the girl who went to his first race. His everything is the girl who would tire herself by studying during the day, and catching long flights to the cities where he’d race in to support him.

And his everything had left him 2 years ago in his apartment in Monte Carlo, Monaco, with teary eyes and a red dress.

►DANCING WITH THE DEVIL #002 [Sunghoon.]

Part 1 of this can be found here ‣ #001

Abstract: As you had foreseen, Sunghoon and you were back to being strangers. While it was all you had initially wished for, the suddenness and extremity of it was gnawing you from inside as it made you feel as if the past few months had been nothing —that you, too, were in fact nothing. All the while, cases around town continued to rise and in tandem, your recurring night terrors intensified, increasingly blurring the lines between dreams, memories and reality. In the midst of it all, you realised that happenings around town and around you did not add up. The more you dig however, the more you realised how close real danger had always been. How deeply entangled you actually were in the whole web with Sunghoon seemingly being connected to. But is he merely connected to it or has he been the one spinning the web intricately all these while? ‣ [ do check out Part 1 first ]

Genre: vampire!sunghoon | horror | thriller | fantasy | romance // wc: ~10.8k

Warnings: blood; violence; injuries; slight suggestiveness (forced); mentions of crimes (missing persons, murder, serial killings); manipulation; toxicity; trauma.

i : back to square one

To say that the past few months had been a whirlwind would be an understatement. With the amount of unprecedented things happening around you and to you, it all felt kind of like a fever dream. It didn’t help that since you’ve submitted your assignment, Park Sunghoon, the campus heartthrob who somehow couldn’t leave you alone even for a second last semester, has suddenly gone cold on you. Let alone just simply greeting you, he had never even casted you a single glance since the last day you guys worked together. In fact, you could be right in front of him or beside him and his eyes and attention would just always be on anyone and anywhere but you. While you had foreseen this, even being the one to have told him that the assignment was the only thing binding you two together, the way it all shifted just overnight made it impossible to quell the distaste you feel within — that you were used. That all those months, labouring over the assignment, sharing jokes and stories, were nothing — that you were nothing.

And just like that, you guys were strangers again.

“Are you sure nothing happened that night?” Sunoo elbowed you, bringing you back to reality. Deja vu, you thought, remembering how Sunoo had asked a similar question just months ago when Sunghoon started pestering you. You were going to answer him but got immediately distracted by whatever he was shooting daggers at. You followed his gaze, regretting it almost immediately, as you saw that it was at Sunghoon and his little clique who were walking from the opposite direction. As usual, while the rest of the clique were being rowdy and playful with one another, Sunghoon, at the back, stayed unperturbed, hands in his pockets, eyes straight ahead — always looking so disengaged and aloof. You don’t even have to worry about him catching you staring because he wouldn’t. It is literally as if you had turned invisible since your last day together.

"What a prick," Sunoo scoffed, somehow feeling victimised on behalf of you as Sunghoon just passed you by without as much as a glance, “Something must have happened to have turned him so cold all of a sudden y/n — I mean he can’t just shift like that overnight. Did you not remember the way he stared at you before this so-called Cold War happen? it was disgustingly dripping with attraction and obsession, you’d have to be blind to miss it. Seriously, tell me the truth, did you guys fight or disagree or—”

“Sunoo, first things first. He was never obsessed with me. You were the one making that assumption. While we did work well together, at best we were just groupmates — not even friends probably. So it makes sense for it all to just revert to square one now that the assignment is over,” you sighed exasperatedly as you pressed the button of the elevator in front of you, “and for the umpteenth time Sunoo, no, nothing happened.”

At least that’s what I think, you thought to yourself as you reminisced about that night you last worked with Sunghoon together. You remembered working until dawn with him. You remembered leaning back against his sofa. You remembered him staring. You remembered packing up. Then you remembered waking up in your own bed, apparently having chronically overslept. You couldn’t exactly remember how you got home though, to be honest. You remembered snippets of it — city lights, sound of cars passing by, the sound of the door, certain warmth and pressure — but it was all a blur. When you woke up, you felt so lightheaded and groggy with your body aching and sore in some places. Then there was this unexplained level of hunger which made you dawn a whole 16” box of pizza to yourself that day — it was as if you had been fasting for days.

The ache eventually subsided and your appetite eventually returned to normal but now and then, you'd get dizzy spells. To make matters weirder, when you went for blood donation not long after, the Nurse deemed you ineligible as a donor as your Haemoglobin count was abnormally low — a drop that was quite alarming given how you have never had such histories and considering how you have not donated nor lost massive amounts of blood recently. It was all very weird but in the absence of any rational explanations, you attempted to make sense of it all by attributing it to how bad your sleeping and dietary habits have become weeks following up to the deadline as you only fuelled yourself daily with 2-hours of sleep and an inordinate amount of coffee.

Then of course there was Park Sunghoon, who went from suddenly having perfect attendance during the last semester to suddenly missing most of his classes this semester. During the few times when you do see him on campus grounds, his attention would always be on anywhere and anyone but you. It eventually got pretty obvious to you that with the assignment submitted, whatever you two had, if it was even worth labelling as friendship, must have ended with it.

“Are you going to just stand there?” Sunoo snapped his fingers, bringing you back to reality, as he continued pressing the elevator button to keep the door open.

“Right sorry, I was just—"

“Spacing out?” he cut you mid-sentence, "you have been spacing out a little bit too much lately, do you know that?"

"This semester's schedule is pretty crazy, I'm probably still trying to acclimatise to it," you lied, plastering a smile when Sunoo suddenly took out a yellow file from his bag, beckoning you to take it. It has the word 'CONFIDENTIAL' stamped across the cover. Absentmindedly, you flipped it open, almost cussing out loudly as grisly shots of dead bodies greeted you, “Sunoo, what the f-” you glared at him beside you, shutting the file close almost immediately when the elevator door opened to the 7th floor of the library.

“Right sorry, should've warned you beforehand —” Sunoo smiled sheepishly, "they’re some shots of the latest victims of our town’s serial killings — hey, stop glaring at me, I didn’t steal them from somewhere — I just, you know happen to beat the police to it—”

“Happened to be?” you stressed, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Fine,” Sunoo grunted, “that genius Ni-Ki somehow managed to intercept the police radio station so we receive all these reports at the same time as the police and well, lucky for us, since they are massively incompetent in responding in a timely manner, we got the privilege of seeing the body and the place first before they do. We’re not that stupid though — of course we kept our distance. Otherwise, we’d be mistaken as suspects instead.”

“You look and sound inappropriately ecstatic about something so grim,” you grumbled, finally opening the file again, grimacing at the grisly shots, “Aren’t you two being too serious about this? I mean, the press and the police are already on it, why meddle further? I get the curiousity but isn't this too much effort and risk?"

“Well, I happen to be serious about getting that scholarship to New York and this, oh boy, this piece, would just throw everyone else's applications down the drain," Sunoo enthused, "and well as for Ni-Ki, that boy loves danger and adventure, he wouldn’t even care about the risks.”

You shook your head dismissively as you flipped through the pages, “but didn’t you say the bodies were drained of blood last time? These are all pretty bloodied. Do you think they might have been done by a different perpetrator?“

Sunoo stopped pacing around and hurried over, peeking over your shoulders, "oh yeah, I almost forgot about that report-"

“Or they could be the same killer actually, just changing up his tactics to throw the police off the trails...” you suggested, seeing Sunoo’s forehead scrunching in deep thoughts as he pored over the idea. You continued, “or a badly-done copycat killing—”

“Oh shit,” Sunoo gasped, snatching the pictures from you, “You are so smart, I didn’t even — I should make a proper timeline, connecting coroner's reports and pictures, maybe—”

“Don’t get too excited though. I’m no criminal profiler, I could be completely off— hey!” you yelped, rubbing your cheek in disgust as Sunoo had just absentmindedly planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Sunoo, stop that! people will get the wrong idea—” you grumbled, trailing off as you looked around the library cautiously. You stopped short when you noticed how, in the midst of people being busy in their own world, someone just across the floor, by the railings overlooking the atrium, was staring right at you. Hands against the railings with gaze so intense, unflinching and unnerving, it was Park Sunghoon. You realised that this had been the first time he had given you any slightest attention since you guys had submitted your work. You scoffed then, remembering all the times he could've been cordial to you before but instead chose to act as if you never existed. You broke the eye contact, walking away towards the side of the floor which would have been out of his field of vision, thinking to yourself, "well, two can play the game."

ii : nightly terrors

It was just supposed to be a quick power nap — one to quench your exhaustion and also to kill time as you wait for Sunoo to finish transcribing his interviews. As your mind flitted through a series of vivid hypnogogic hallucinations however, it all gradually warp into a familiar foreboding scene: a long dark hallway — eerily quiet and hauntingly cold, both ends of which just seemingly leading to a dark abyss. Every time you see this exact scene materialising in your dreams, you were hit with a wave of familiarity — as if you’ve seen the place, as if you’ve been in it. But never could you dwell longer on it because within seconds, you’d always find yourself sprinting towards the darkness, fumbling clumsily to open the door that apparently lay at the end of it, only for it to be slammed close the moment you succeed.

You would then feel yourself harshly spun around, your back slammed against the door. You swallowed thickly as the dark figure loom closer before you, knowing full well what would happen next and bracing yourself for the fate. It was after all the same nightmare that has been plaguing you on most nights since a few weeks ago. Despite the recurrence however, the feeling of terror and dread never subsided — striking you anew each time as you helplessly and passively relive each one of them. You realised however, something was different this time.

For starters, you realised you could feel: the pain on your back, the fabric of the man's sleeves under your grasp, his sharp nails digging onto the skin of your arm — you could feel them all. Then, as you furl and unfurl your fingers as you willed, you were hit by the realisation that unlike in the previous nightmares where you had no control over your body, this time, you were awake — you were lucid.

You wasted no time then, attempting to spin the nightmare around this time. Staring back up boldly at the figure in front of you, you grabbed a fistful of his collar, pulling his face closer to you, "you... I know you don't I?”. You weren’t exactly sure why you said that to him but as the moonlight that had streamed through a nearby window casted a slight glow on the lower part of his face, you realised that that man might really be someone you were familiar with — the paleness, the angular jaw, the plump rosy lips — you had seen it before. Suddenly the smirk on his face widened into a toothy grin, his tongue making a quick swipe across his teeth — the canines of which were abnormally elongated and sharp, they looked almost like fangs.

The next thing you knew he had dipped his head onto the crook of your neck, paralysing you with the vividness of it all: his lips ghosting over your bare neck, his tongue gliding over a particular spot, followed by, you winced, a prick of pain at the exact same spot. Suddenly, the ability to feel felt more like a curse, as you feel him sucking on your neck. While you already expected the move, it had always been painless and sensationless — so with the ability to feel taking the vividness of the dream to new heights, you found real panic and terror rising within you. You lifted your hand and as expected, blood had trickled down your arm but you didn’t expect that it had been dripping down onto the ground, pooling by your feet. You gasped, feeling truly aghast and terrified for your life. You begin thrashing wildly against him, hitting, pushing and screaming for him to get off of you, but alas he was stronger and with every effort and strength you take, the weaker you grew.

You feel yourself slowly giving up when you started hearing someone calling your name faintly, "y/n... y/n!"

The voice grew louder and with each calls, you feel increasingly disconnected from your body with the scene before you slowly getting hazy and blurry.

“Y/N!”

You suddenly jolted awake, gasping and disoriented as the scene moments ago crumbled into something else. Instead of the faceless tall man from moments ago, you found yourself being held by Sunoo. His brows were furrowed in a mixture of worry and fear, his hands tightly grabbing onto your wrists as if trying to restrain you, “Y/N! Are you alright???!”

“I- uh” you croaked as you looked around the room, trying to acclimatised to the environment and confirm that this is indeed the reality, not whatever bloody terror you had just witnessed earlier.

“You were screaming and I tried to wake you up but instead you just thrashed around, almost hitting me and I just had to hold you down like this—" he rambled as he loosened his grip and held your face up, as if to further confirm if you were okay. You mustered a weak smile as you started to calm down a little bit, “I’m sorry. It was a nightmare. I’m fine… it’s just — just a nightmare.”

You lied. You did not feel fine at all and it was not just a nightmare — not when it had been plaguing you almost every night since weeks ago, never ceasing to strike so much dread and terror despite the repetitions. You realised that they had gotten increasingly more detailed and vivid as of late — often revealing something new each time but never had you been awake and lucid in it as you just had. It all felt so real — as if it had been a memory that you unlocked, replayed and relived — rather than just some a trickery of the mind once one falls asleep.

“But, I’ve never seen you so—"

“Hey, it’s just a nightmare… I'm okay, really...” you reassured him, though it kind of felt as if you were trying to reassure yourself too, "I'll just get myself some water. Go continue with your work Sunoo..."

You got up, groggily making your way to the pantry near the big board. As you were dawning a glass of water, your eyes darted cautiously across the clippings of the serial killer news on Sunoo’s cork board, wondering if all the morbidity you have exposed yourself to almost on the daily had wormed themselves deep inside your brain that they end up seeping into your dreams as well. Probably the only plausible explanation, you reasoned with yourself when your eyes keep on zeroing in onto the odd marks on the neck of the victims. In the midst of all the cuts and gashes, some of the bodies featured odd puncture wounds: some double, some single. Like a snakebite or something.

Subconsciously, your finger had travelled up to your neck, grazing a spot where a cut had mysteriously appeared just a few weeks ago. You realised just then that it was around the same spot where that man in your dream had punctured, or rather, bitten into. You winced at the memory, still somehow able to feel the pain despite the fact that it had happened in a dream.

The first time you noticed the cut was the day after the assignment deadline as you were rushing to get ready after having overslept. When you first saw it, it was still red — indicating that it was likely not even 1-2 days old — and about 8 cm long. You remembered being weirded out as you could not remember nor imagined how you could ever accidentally hurt yourself on such a spot, in a such a way. On the elbow or on the knee? sure. But on the crook of your neck? debatable. The more you assessed the cut in the following days however, the more you noticed something odd about it. The cut somehow slightly curved outwards at two points, as if it had run over another wound. Eventually you got busier and forgot about the cut altogether.

Tonight however, you found yourself thinking about the cut again, which by now had fully healed fading closer to the colour of your skin, as you looked at each of the pictures before you, trying to scrutinise the injuries on their neck. Suddenly Sunoo snatched the pictures off the board, “alright, no more dead bodies for you y/n. It was my fault — I didn't even consider how you feel. Perhaps its been too much for you and —”

But you weren't listening anymore. You just watched silently, your mind on overdrive, your finger still rubbing the scar on your neck. “Wait,” you finally said something, grabbing Sunoo’s hand to stop him, “do you have clearer pictures… of the neck perhaps?”

“Well, Ni-Ki is developing the rest so there should be some—" Sunoo mumbled when the door opened.

“Ni-Ki!” you called out, as he emerged out of the photo studio, asking if he has any other pictures. He nodded excitedly as he handed you the bundle of pictures. You grabbed a few clearer ones, trying to confirm your allegations.

“Guys… what if…-“ you mumbled, “I mean, I dont know for sure, these pictures aren't the clearest but... if you look at the neck, some of them have what looked like puncture wounds — some had like two punctures, just like a snakebite, though some only had one. But,” you continued, pushing some of the pictures forward, “wherever there’s only one, there is always another cut either above or under and look over here, wherever there's none, the necks are mostly covered by frenzied slash wounds—” you swallowed thickly, reminded of your own scar, the possible wound underneath, and the dream, "I mean it could just be nothing... but I can't help but think that what if, what if, the haphazard wounds over the neck is meant to mask the puncture wounds?”

"Okay," Ni-ki scrunched his brows as he considered the possibilities, "but why though?"

"Beats me," you shrugged, sinking onto a nearby stool, "it's just the few common denominators that seem to stick to me. Maybe it's the real weapon? Not sure what kind of tool would have inflicted those kind of wounds though—"

"No you're actually right," Sunoo nodded, rubbing his chin as he pored over all the reports of past serial killings that he had read and researched on, "with that kind of mark, it might have been easier for the police to track the killer through the weapon so maybe his game plan was actually to cover it up hence why most of the bodies have slash wounds haphazardly inflicted around their neck. And then perhaps due to timing, carelessness or just pure laziness, he would end up slashing less than usual, making the puncture mark visible on some of the bodies."

"Do you think it could be a syringe or something? maybe to poison or incapacitate them beforehand," Ni-ki wondered aloud, "or I don't know a modified bat with nails at the end—"

"Wait, since y/n mentioned that it kind of looked like a snakebite... what if it isn't a weapon?" Sunoo gasped, gesticulating wildly, "what if it's actually a snake? like maybe the killer, being sick enough in the head, unleashed a snake on the victims first to torture them or something before —"

"What are the odds of a snake biting someone at the same exact spot though?" Ni-ki raised his brows.

"You're right," Sunoo pondered, "unless they put a bait on that exact spot — wait, what if..." he gulped, lowering his voice to a whisper, "vampires?"

"Get out of here Kim Sunoo," Ni-Ki scoffed, shaking his head dismissively.

What Sunoo said definitely sounded sillier but somehow instead of shooting the idea down immediately, like you would have, the scene from your recurring nightmare flashed across your mind, sending shivers down your spine: the abnormally long canines; the bite on your neck; and the blood dripping. You furrow your brows, trying to quell feeling of dread rising within as you touched the scar on your neck, while your eyes travelled from one pictures to the other, looking at the puncture marks on their necks.

"Vampires are stuff of fables but," you murmured, "there might be some relevancy there. What if it's a fetish or a quirk? maybe he's obsessed with vampire lores or maybe is psychologically ill and believe that he is one — either way, what I'm trying to say is that maybe he's trying to mimic it. But," you sighed, frustrated with your own train of thoughts and deduction, "why cover it then? if you're obsessed with the thought that you are a vampire or something, wouldn't you want to leave it as it is? rather than cover it?"

Sunoo and Ni-Ki nodded in agreement, debating it further, but you weren't listening to any of it anymore as your mind became increasingly preoccupied with more questions — all of which were now directing towards yourself: the cut, the dream, the maniac from before.

"— let's stake at the harbour next," you hear Ni-Ki said and Sunoo agreeing almost immediately. Without missing a beat and without any further thought, you interrupted, "I want in."

“Really?” Sunoo’s face lit up momentarily before suddenly schooling his expressions, “- wait no, you’ve already brushed with a potential serial killer like two months ago. I am not going to put your life in danger.”

“Sunoo, you know how I feel about unsolicited paternalism,” you grumbled, arms folding, “like you said last time, I’m smart — I would be a great asset to you both. Like just now.”

“You’re in,” Ni-Ki pushed Sunoo aside and extended his hands to you, “if we are serious about this, we need her intelligence. I mean even both of our brains can’t analyse and observe the pictures with such insight even though we have been on this case for months.”

You grinned triumphantly, taking in Ni-Ki’s hands proudly before sticking your tongue out at Sunoo. Sunoo opened his mouth to protest but closed it immediately, finding himself wrought in a mental dilemma. He groaned, throwing his hands in the air, “Fine. But you must stick to us whenever we go to the field okay? Must. I know you always go off alone and slip away but not this time.”

“Geez, okay mum,” you mocked, before offering your hand to him, beckoning him to shake it.

You weren't exactly certain what you wanted to gain from this, if not just further troubles. But something about the case and whatever has happened around you seemed to have a link. It might just be something psychological — maybe the fear from the serial killings has insidiously seeped into your mind, making you dream and hallucinate to the point of connecting dots that weren't there in the first place. Still, sitting around and letting yourself be haunted by your own nightmares and news headlines wouldn't do any good, you thought. If anything, at least by tagging along with them, you can either confirm or dispel whatever nagging presumptions you had about whatever has happened around you and to you.

Little did you know just how messy the whole thing was. How true the saying 'ignorance is bliss' is.

iii : confronting the elephant in the room

When results for the last semester was finally released one fine afternoon, all eyes were on you. After all, the assignment that you and Sunghoon had laboriously worked on for Macroeconomics was awarded the only ‘A’ in the module — in fact, the only A awarded ever under the module after like two years.

“Well, that’s what happens when you ask two of the brightest in the faculty to work together,” Sunoo elbowed you, smiling sheepishly as you stared agape at the screen, still in disbelief at the grades displayed on your dashboard.

The joy was however short-lived as you were called to the Professor’s room not soon after. Apparently he was so impressed by the paper, he had invited you and Sunghoon to co-author a paper with him for an upcoming annual conference. As Sunghoon did not show up to his office, the professor had instead asked you to pass the message to him — the task of which you wished you could have outsourced given how Sunghoon does not seem so keen to engage with you anymore. And you, too, weren't exactly ecstatic to engage with him again either.

Hence why you were fiddling nervously with your pen the next morning in lecture as your eyes darted back and forth from Sunghoon, who was seated at the other end of the lecture theatre, to the brochure about the upcoming conference in your hand — your mind set ablaze with dilemma. You really did not want to talk to him again that you even considered turning down the professor’s offer altogether — but that would be irrational, you thought. It was after all an opportunity like no other that could embellish your resumé further, making you more attractive to prospective employers. Then alternatively, you had also considered to just not pass on the message and tell the professor that you haven't seen him or something. But you thought that would be selfish of you. After all, it was a joint paper so he deserves the credit and opportunity as much as you do. Hence, setting your ego aside, you decided to run after him after the lecture ended.

You didn’t really have any expectations. At worse, you pictured him scoffing and saying “no thanks”. But well, he exceeded your expectations in the worse way possible. The moment you caught up to him, he did not even bother to act friendly or civil. There were no ‘hi’, no smile — nothing, just an expression of disinterest if not, annoyance, as he took his EarPods off. You begun explaining about the Professor's offer and the upcoming paper as you handed the brochure to him, though the lack of interest which was apparent on his face, and the lack of response were making you feel increasingly unnerved and embarrassed. As if that wasn't enough, he further made you feel worse as he interrupted mid-way, handing the brochure back, “and? am I supposed to be happy for you? or interested in this? what?”

“Uh—" you were rendered speechless for a moment, “I mean, the professor is inviting us to both co-author a paper together again. It was after all our work. You deserve the credit as much as-"

“I couldn’t care less,” he exhaled sharply, “about this or about you taking the credit. Do whatever you want. I’ve done my job as your partner last time.”

You swallowed thickly, his words searing more than you expected, “Well, that’s fine then. I was just passing the message on.”

“Anything else?” he asked with an eyebrow raised, looking as if you had just wasted his time. You never felt so much anger and embarrassment both at the same time. “Okay then,” he shrugged, taking your lack of responses as a 'no' and walking past you.

You scoffed. You weren’t really confrontational as a person but the way this all spun was really bothering you more than you wanted to admit — like a nagging sensation at the back of your neck. The way he acted was almost as if you had done something wrong. But what? You thought to yourself. Suddenly Sunoo’s question and your memory lapse rang in your mind.

“Wait-" you called out, “Did something happen that night?”

You can see him heaving a huge sigh before turning around to answer you, “Unless you mistook or misunderstood something, nothing happened. We finished our work and you went home alone. I didn’t bother sending you. That’s it. You didn’t expect-”

“I don’t. I just-“

“Look, this happens all the time,” Sunghoon said icily, biting his lower lip in annoyance as he took a few steps towards you, “I show any slight attention and people just mistake it as interest, expecting it to bloom into something,” the corner of his lips lifted into a conceited grin, “don’t tell me the Great Wall is buckling too? Let me spell it out to you then —“

“Park Sunghoon,” you cut him off, the anger starting to rise within, “let me spell it out to you because you seem to be blind with narcissism and conceit. I have my suspicions about you from the very start — that you were attempting to toy me around, for whatever reasons. I guess it must have failed since you are mistaking any slight cordiality from me now for attraction when I am just passing on the message and being nice to you for old time's sake. Get off your high horse.”

With that you turned on your heel and walked away, the anger growing with every step you took, the crumpled paper in your grasp being the only evidence of it. That being said, you couldn't help but shake the feeling of familiarity of it all — the way your words rolled so effortlessly out your mouth made it feel as if you had spoken something similar before. But that’s impossible, you thought, no one would have riled you up so much to the point where you had to deliver such a scathing remark.

Most importantly, even if someone had, you should have remembered it.

iv: entanglement

It was not supposed to drag on this long and this deep, Sunghoon thought to himself as he watched you over from their hangout room on the 5th floor of the North Wing. You were sitting by the fountain, rambling animatedly to your ‘guard dog’, making big gestures in between coffee sips while occasionally doubling-over in a fit of laughter with him. Sunghoon hated how he knew exactly what coffee you had ordered and how he could hear your laughter clearly in his mind as if he was right there next to you.

Despite the crowds forming and dispersing around you, his eyes have not left you for even a fraction of a second and if looks could kill, you'd have long been dead. Most frustrating of all to him was how with every smile you flashed, he could feel his heart raced and throbbed — though he wasn’t certain if it had been due to attraction or annoyance because both had indeed been what he had been feeling towards you as of late.

Sunghoon has always been at the top of things. That is, until you came along and become a prominent part of his daily life since the start of the project. While he may have orchestrated the whole thing to turn the way it did: for you to become partners with him; for him to save you; for you to spend inordinate amount of time alone with him; and so on — you were unexpectedly like a force of nature, somehow managing to hold on your own and throw everything into disarray. It always left him feeling so confused, vexed and intrigued — conflicting emotions of which he hadn't felt in a long time — always making him torn over his next moves as he could never know if he wanted you or if he wanted to end you.

He exhaled sharply as he turned around, leaning against the large stained windows and recounting the events from that night. He didn't really plan on biting you that night but everything was indeed unfolding perfectly: you were alone with him, in his own house, with your guards down. For someone like you, who to him, has been unnecessarily a handful to deal with compared to his other victims — this was perfect as he could just quickly and cleanly sink his fangs into you and then have your body disposed somewhere. That was how simple he pictured it to be when he first set sights on you, visions red with contempt. But little did he know, in spending too much time trying to orchestrate everything perfectly from the beginning just to get back at you in the worst way possible, he was getting caught in the intricate web that he himself had spun for you.

And that night, things definitely went awry. Or rather, I went awry, he corrected himself as he threw his head back against the stained windows, suddenly reminded of the way his lips locked with yours in a drunken stupor.

The thing about Park Sunghoon is that he does not kiss — not initiating it, at least. After all, the guy love mind games and power. He relishes in the way people get so easily enchanted and manipulated by him, eventually buckling into submission without him having to lift a finger, begging for him no matter the cost. It was such a pathetic yet satisfying sight, he always thought, the way they beg for him not realising that they were basically begging for their death. Besides, as he always told Jay and Jake, both of whom never tire from indulging in such carnal pleasures, he was getting too old to be beating around the bush so he’d just cut the bullshit and go straight for the neck. As if you’re any older than us, Jake would mock.

That is not to say he would reject it completely though. His being aren’t completely deprived of carnal desires so when someone does initiate it, he wouldn't protest nor reject it, letting himself just enjoy it, treating it like an appetiser before the main course. Though again, unlike Jay and Jake, he wouldn’t drag it on.

That is, until you happened. You were supposed to be just another pawn — something to fuel his desire for mind games and power. Instead however, you were able to hold on your own, engaging him so effortlessly in a field that he had always trounced in, keeping him on edge and making him wanting more. He found himself obsessed with you and he sought to entrap you further in his games but little did he know that in digging a trench so deep for you to fall into, he himself might end up getting stuck in it. He can now see just how far he had miscalculated his steps and underestimated you, for when the opportunity to get back at you, like he always wanted, materialised that night, he did the stupidest thing he could have ever done — he went for your lips.

The moment his lips enveloped yours, he completely lost all sense and rationality. Like on a drunken stupor, he was so intoxicated by the softness of your lips, the warmth emanating from your body, and the way you struggled against him — it was sickly electrifying and intoxicating and as if karma was getting back at him, he remembered feeling how he was the one getting lulled this time. Then there was the smell and taste of your blood on your lips that sent him delirious but somehow, instead of triggering his predatory feeding mode, it fuelled his hunger for something else.

He remembered then hungrily pressing his lips onto yours, his hands roaming up your body, making you gasp, providing him the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss, as he slipped his tongue in. He remembered how the harder you protested and rejected him, the more it riled him up, finding himself trailing sloppy kisses down your neck — something he’d hardly have to nor want to do to another human. As he grabbed a fistful of your shirt, tugging it just slightly just off your shoulder, he could feel the desire to sink his fangs into you morphing into something different: it was no longer just to simply satisfy his thirst and get back at you — he wanted to mark you; to own you. That was probably why he was able to stop himself from depriving you completely off of your life source that night despite how much you had riled him — because it wasn’t just hunger alone.

He could feel his throat now constricting and his gums tingling — an indication of the hunger rising within and his canines extending into its full length — as the memory reawaken his thirst for your blood, for your lips, for you in its entirety. “Fuck,” he cussed breathily, burying his face in his palm, suddenly seeing red again. He hated the hold you seemingly have on him. He had been all over the place the past few weeks trying to prove otherwise: meeting other girls; drinking other blood; and most importantly, avoiding and being an arse towards you. He was afterall, no slave to emotions nor desires — he could overcome this easily, he thought to himself. Yet, here he was, tormented from just mere memories of you. Oh, he wanted you so bad.

“You have got to nip this in the bud,” he suddenly remembered Heeseung cautioning him one night, “otherwise, it will grow into an Achilles Heel Sunghoon.”

He turned back around, dizzy, as he propped his hand against the window, letting his head rest against it as his eyes, which were growing luminescent by the second, zeroed in on you. "I shouldn't have let you live..." Sunghoon breathed, feeling the gravity of Heeseung's words.

v: minefield

With cases rising and no leads, your campus had started to impose a curfew, threatening punishments for those found to be out and about in campus grounds beyond 8 PM. Though you found the newly-imposed curfew ridiculous, given how there had been no cases in campus, you still abide it nevertheless. Except for tonight that is, as you had left your iPad at Sunoo’s club room. Since it had all the important notes from today’s lecture for an upcoming pop quiz, you decided to risk it — breaking into the South Wing and quickly retrieving it before the Student Union members, who would’ve usually be out patrolling by then, could catch you.

Having quickly retrieved your iPad, your were just about to climb out the window which you had used earlier when you heard a bloodcurdling scream from the upper floors, followed by what sounded like furnitures getting knocked over. For any normal person, that should have been the queue to run off. But then again, you had always been an outlier with a sense of curiousity and fearlessness that is bound to get you into trouble one day — at least that was what Sunoo had always said about you.

“Screw it,” you muttered to yourself, walking away from the window towards the staircase. As you climbed up, you can start to hear the cacophony of noises more clearly: scuffles; furnitures dragged; and some sort whimper or cry. Then it all stopped and suddenly, all the courage left you. In the dark and stillness of the night, all you could hear was your quickening heartbeat and all you could see was either empty corridors with your own reflection on the windows.

You backed away, feeling deeply unsettled by the sudden stillness when suddenly, before you could descend down the stairs to go back, you felt yourself getting yanked back by a bony arm that has wrapped itself around your neck, putting you on a chokehold. You thrashed wildly, clawing on the person's arm, as your croaked, "le-let me go-go. I will scre-scream. There are people down the-there—"

You could hear the person scoff, seeing through your lie easily. You feel the person's other hand coming up to your head, stroking your hair tauntingly, while whispering menacingly close to your ears, “dead people can’t scream though.”

The next thing you knew, you had been pushed down the stairs, tumbling down several flights of stairs, twisting your hand in the process and hitting your head a few times against either the cold ground or the foot of the railing, before coming to a stop by the next landing. You groaned in pain as the back of your head hit the hard cement. Despite the pain, you forced yourself to sit up, panicking as the figure walked down the stairs at a glacial pace. Silhouetted, you can see that the person was a lanky man, with rather wide, yet bony shoulders. Terror-stricken, you were ready to take off again but to your horror, you couldn't feel your legs. You looked back up, horrified, when the man's lower face got momentarily illuminated as he passed by a window, his thin lips curving into a wry, malevolant grin, his tongue then making a quick slow swipe over his bloodied lips. You were immediately reminded of your nightmare.

You mustered every bit of strength left to back away, powering through the pain through gritted teeth but it was futile as he soon loomed over your body. Grabbing a fistful of your collar, he dragged you towards the end of the landing, letting you hover over the next flight of stairs, giving you a slight swing before letting go. You squeezed your eyes shut, bracing for the impact.

It never came.

You felt nothing and saw nothing for a prolonged period of time, before it all suddenly warp into a convoluted mess of dreams, nightmares and bad memories — like an acid trip — then abruptly ending when your eyes flew open.

Still in an almost fight and flight state from both the experience and the dream, you immediately sat bolt upright — panicking as you looked around the room, thinking you were still at the mercy of the murderous man. Instead of the darkness however, the room you were in was so brightly-lit and brightly-painted. Instead of the cold hard tile underneath you, you were sitting on a soft white bed. Instead of a murderous man holding you by the collar, Lee Heeseung, the Student Union President, was the one next to you, eyes lit up in relief as he exclaimed, “Finally! You’re awake!”

You stared at him blankly, confused. Is this a dream, you ruminated, was last night a dream?. After all, the Student Union President, who is also part of Sunghoon’s clique, would be the last person you would ever expect to be by your bedside.

“Where am I- why are y-" you stuttered, trying to fight through the pain that you felt all over. Heeseung quickly reached over, gently grasping both of your shoulders to prevent you from toppling over, “careful, you took a really hard tumble—"

Instinctively, you recoiled away from his touch, still traumatised over whatever you had experienced earlier.

“Sorry,” he muttered, “I didn’t mean to - you just, you look like you were about to faint...”

You swallowed thickly, still eyeing him in suspicion, “what... what happened?”

“Well, we were patrolling and found you passed out cold at the base of the stairs,” he answered, his gaze remaining soft as if trying to reassure you that he meant no harm and that you are safe now, “brought you here immediately. Thankfully, the doctor said you suffered no major injuries, just a lot of bruises, a twisted wrist, and a small cut by the side of your head. You might have knocked it against the railing or something. But fortunately, they’re just some superficial cuts. Not sure how lon-“

“the girl —" you interjected as the memories from just now, or last night, or whenever the incident actually was, came rushing through, “what about the girl?”

Heeseung stared blankly at you, “what girl? you were alone.”

“No I wasn’t,” you replied adamantly, “there— there should have been someone else-"

"There were no one else, we-"

"No, there was a girl somewhere in the building. She- she screamed! I heard it!" you protested, "I followed the voice and then suddenly," you croaked, losing your voice, "suddenly there was this man and he-" you swallowed thickly, struggling, as your head begin to spin, "he pushed- he pushed me!"

"y/n, but there-"

"No listen, he pushed me!" you insisted, looking up at Heeseung, almost pleading, "I didn't tumble down. I was pushed. He- ouch-"

“Hey hey, take it easy,” Heeseung quickly rose up, looking worried as he beckoned you to lay back. You shook your head, insistent, "there should be someone else. Maybe he ran way and— and maybe he took her with him. Did you guys ev- "

"Look y/n, you did hit your head so maybe-"

“Are you seriously suggesting that my mind is playing tricks on me?” you scoffed, your tone more aggressive than you had intended, “just because I hit my head?”

"Look y/n, the fact is that we found you alone. I promise you, we scoured the whole building, the compound, the adjacent wings and even the nearby woods — no one was out there except for the ones patrolling and you," Heeseung sighed, rubbing his forehead before exhaling sharply, looking stern, "and frankly, no one should. It was curfew hours. You, of all people, should know the implication of it."

You opened your mouth, wanting to protest further but immediately stopped yourself as you now belatedly realised just how much trouble you are possibly in for being out during curfew hours. You sank back onto your propped pillows behind you, defeated.

"y/n... just rest up for now okay? I will keep you posted in case I uncovered anything that might relate to your sightings last night," Heeseung gave you a tight-lipped smile as he drew the cubicle curtains around your bed to lend you some privacy though he stopped short before closing it completely.

"y/n," he called out softly. When you looked up, the warm gaze and smile had disappeared as he cautioned, "I would advise you to not tell anyone about last night unless you want to get in trouble for loitering around during curfew hours. I covered for you last night saying that your body was freezing when I found you which meant you must have passed out before curfew hours. I can assure you however no one else, especially the staffs, would be as lenient if they knew the truth. Not even if you tell them about what you had allegedly see or hear, because without any physical evidence, it just sounds like excuses.”

With that he excused himself, leaving you alone, dejected and defeated, questioning your own memory, "what the hell is going on with me?"

vi: the lifesaver

Its been a few weeks and still, there had been no new updates about that night. No woman, no man, no body — just you, your memories and some fading bruises, which you’ve been diligently covering with turtlenecks and long sleeves. As days passed, the memory melded perfectly with your recurring nightmares, leaving you questioning your own memory and mind — all the while, the feeling of looming terror felt as if it was increasingly gnawing you from within, haunting you. Hence, you’ve sought solace in overworking yourself, staying cooped up in the library, head buried in books — all so you can distract yourself.

Tonight however, your body was paying the price for having been overworking the past few days, pulling you into a deep sleep when you had only intended the nap to last for 15 minutes. You awoke, panic-stricken, seeing the floor you were on completely desolated. You quickly packed up, your mind on overdrive thinking of what excuses to give the guard or library staff when you pass them by in the lobby.

“Oh you’re awake?”

You screamed, backing against your table and knocking some books off the edge. It's been weeks, but you were still skittish from your last incident. Fortunately, it wasn't yet another maniac. You recognised the vest he was wearing — it was the one that the library guards always wore. You immediately apologised, “Sorry, really - I thought-"

“No, no,” the man quickly rushed over, bending down to help you pick your books up, “I should be the one apologising since I was the one who startled you.”

“No, I’m the one here during curfew hours...“ you sighed, bending down to also pick the books up when it suddenly dawned on you who the man was, “Yang Jungwon?”

His eyes lit up as he nodded excitedly, “for a second there I thought you had completely forgotten about me. Wouldn’t blame you though, I was gone for a long time.”

“Of course I remember you!” you assured him, “It’s just that… your hair. It’s black now. The red hair was pretty much your signature, wasn't it? it earned you that nickname 'The Flaming Tiger the Taekwando Club', right?"

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck shyly, “yeah, I dyed it back to black. Kind of preferring to keep a low profile now.”

“Well, I mean, with all the medals you’ve raked especially after you have gotten out of the hospital, I’m pretty sure you don't need the red hair to make yourself memorable in the Taekwando scene any more,” you concurred, “You’re really amazing you know that? Kicking back stronger after like a 3-week hospitalisation — how is that even possible? And now you're like part-timing as a guard here too.”

"Well, I've been having a hard time sleeping at night so part-timing during graveyard hours actually keeps me sane —anyway enough about me," Jungwon diverted, leaning against your table, "I heard so much about you as well. Heard you got straight A's last semester and is now co-authoring a paper with one of the University's highly-cited professor — come on now, your achievements are more worth praising then mine."

"Oh please stop being humble. Also the A was for a joint assignment so it's not really—" you trailed off, "shoot — they're coming," you gasped, hurriedly packing up as you saw two Student Union members in the compound, making their way towards the library, "well, it was nice catching up with you Jungwon but it's curfew hours and I've got to run. Can you do me a favour and pretend you didn't see me? Thanks!"

“No wait,” he suddenly called out ,grabbing your wrist and stopping you in your tracks, "you’ll get caught if you head that way. Come with me, I know a better way.”

You took the offer almost immediately — trusting Jungwon, who then led you skilfully through a maze of corridors and stairs, explaining how there is a secret passage in the basement — a tunnel — which leads you straight out to the backstreet, "so not only could you evade the 'Cerberus Knock-Offs' of campus, aka the Student Patrols, but if they find you, they can't really do anything since you're technically 'outside' of the campus grounds."

"Wow, it's like THE Yang Jungwon has gone rouge — where did the old uptight and stickler Jungwon go?" you remarked sarcastically as he pushed the heavy door, revealing a brightly-lit yet eerie-looking tunnel.

"Gone with the old shell," Jungwon quipped as he turned around, beckoning you to follow him. You hesitantly did, cautiously looking around the narrow passageway — feeling increasingly unnerved by the stillness, remoteness and desolation of it all, "why does the university need a tunnel any way? I mean, have you heard of how certain sanatoriums would wheel bodies discretely through tunnels back then? what if the same is happening here?"

"Why would the university be wheeling bodies though?" Jungwon gave you a quick glance before tinkering with the locks of the door at the end of the tunnel.

"I'm not saying it's the university," you clarified, suddenly reminded of your incident and the lack of evidence, "but what if the serial killer that's on the loose in town right now made it to campus — these passageways would just help him finish half the job don't you think?"

"You've always been so smart and sharp," Jungwon muttered as he rose up, his body turned towards you as he placed his hand on the crash bar of the door, his eyes narrowing, "but you should be careful with the accusations though, the staffs here are incredibly sensitive to it, fearing that such rumours would incite panic and paranoia, potentially jeopardising the university's reputation."

"But I'm not accusing," you retorted, "I actually he-" you stopped short, reminded of Heeseung's warning.

"Just saying y/n, you don't want to fly too close to the sun for you will get burnt," Jungwon cautioned as he pushed the crash bar with his elbow, his eyes still on you. Your brows knit in confusion at his cryptic words which you couldn't discern whether is a warning to you, or an advice. You can also see now, underneath the harsh lighting of the tunnel, how it wasn't just the hair that made him look and feel different. Particularly, he was skinnier and paler than you last remembered which, together with his sharp feline eyes and arched brows, made him look more intimidating. Feeling the weight of his gaze, you cleared you throat, breaking the eye contact, "I-uh should probably leave now."

"I've ordered a cab for you by the way," he beamed as you slipped outside, "it should be by the bend."

"You shouldn't have- but thanks Jungwon, I owe you twice tonight," you waved at him, "stay safe."

"you should be careful and stay safe too y/n," he replied back, waving at you.

Though thankful for his help, throughout your journey back home, you couldn't help but feel like Jungwon was hiding something.

vii: an ultimatum

“Hey Sunoo, did you remember that one case—" you stopped mid-sentence as you looked up from your phone, realising belatedly that the figure you saw from your periphery vision as you entered the Press Society Club Room was not Sunoo. You knew who it was almost instantaneously though even when he had his back against you: the tall stature; broad shoulders; thick black hair; dark get-up and of course, the air of arrogance. It was none other than Park Sunghoon.

As if hearing his name just being said aloud in your mind, he turned around, lips already curved into a conceited grin as he gestured towards Sunoo's board, “you guys have some interesting collage right here.”

“You have no business being here,” you said curtly.

Scoffing, he cocked his head in the direction of the photo studio, “nope, but he does.”

Just then, Heeseung emerged out of the studio, carrying a bunch of pictures. Trailing closely behind him, was Sunoo, fuming, “give them back! they are ours!"

“Not anymore," Heeseung sighed, handing the pictures to Sunghoon instead, who clicked his tongue tauntingly as he look through the pictures, “listen, I'm actually doing you guys a favour here. If anyone else finds out about these morbid collections, you and Ni-Ki could become suspects immediately. Trust me, in the absence of any convincing leads — they'd lap it up. Even if they don’t, you guys will still get into trouble, for intercepting and for potentially tempering the scene.”

“But they never went close to the scene!” you quickly defended.

“And who can vouch for that?” Sunghoon derided, looking amused.

"This could put the university's reputation in jeopardy so I am putting a stop to it," Heeseung said adamantly.

“If you really care about the campus and its people, you’d know how important our work and progress is,” Sunoo snapped.

“Look, just because you are able to take a bunch of grotesque pictures and connect them with strings against a map on a board doesn’t mean you guys are making any important discovery,” Sunghoon scoffed, looking down condescendingly at Sunoo, "Just stick to Cluedo, kids."

“What the fuck is your problem,” Sunoo exploded, grabbing Sunghoon by the collar, looking as if he was ready to throw punches. Sunoo had always been the personafication of sunshine and peace but right then you can see how riled up he was from the way he glowered at Sunghoon, the way his fist clenched hard and the way his voice dropped a few octaves lower. He seemed almost like a different person. You couldn't help but quickly rush over, grabbing his arm, fearing that he would really let emotions get the best of him, "Sunoo, don't—"

"Aww," Sunghoon mocked, straightening up the crumpled lapel of his blazer, before turning to you, "you should've let him punch me. It might relieve his anger."

"I'm not stupid to let him get easily framed like that. Not by the likes of you," you snapped back. Sunghoon scoffed, chuckling, "I know you're not. But your blockhead of a friend definitely is. Not so bad for a guard dog though — at least he isn't all bark and no bite. Shame that he has never been around to run to your aid when you need it the most."

Your brows knit in confusion at his words, somehow picking up something in the way he said it.

"Sunghoon, cut it out," Heeseung said authoritatively as he grabbed the main door open before turning his attention back to you and Sunoo, "I'll send someone to confiscate everything as discreetly as possible and turn a blind eye to this just this once but if I found out that you guys are meddling in this case again, or even loitering during curfew hours for whatever reason — I'll report you guys straight to the dean. This applies to you too, y/n — I've already let you go once, remember that."

With that, they excused themselves, and as soon as the door closed, Sunoo sunk onto a nearby couch. While he covered his face with his arm, you could tell he angry and dejected he was — his chest heaving in anger, ears red, "this is fucking unfair," he croaked.

You couldn't help but feel some sort of guilt in the matter. The suddenness of it all and the way Sunghoon seemed to specifically rile him felt rather personal. As if it was done simply out of spite to you not for whatever noble reason that Heeseung just sprouted. "I'll be back, okay?" you assured Sunoo before you ran out the door, frantically looking around to find Sunghoon. Thankfully he hadn't gone far, just by the bend of the corridor,

"Park Sunghoon!" you called out, marching towards him. Again, as if expecting you, he already had that distasteful smirk on his face.

“Look, if you have a problem with me, then you should take it out on me not on the people around me,” you argued, seething, “Sunoo doesn’t deserve this. He worked hard on it.”

“Didn’t we tell you that it was for the best?” he repeated flamboyantly, his grin getting wider with every step he took towards you, “the efforts you guys are putting in are useless anyway and even if, say, you guys somehow solved it — you think the authorities will believe you guys? if anything, you guys will get into trouble for potentially disrupting their work and the scene. Even if you guys actually don't temper around, they will make it seem as if you guys did just to discredit you guys. Because come on, otherwise, they'd become the punching bag of town: authorities beaten by a bunch of campus kids."

“Cut that bullshit Sunghoon, I'm pretty sure you'd rather see us scapegoated and humiliated," you retorted, "What exactly do you want from stopping this?"

"Do you..." he drawled, taking slow steps towards you, biting his lips to suppress the grin that was blooming on his lips, " really want to know what I want?". You opened your mouth, ready to protest, but find yourself frozen as he brought his hand up to your neck, his cold fingers grazing the spot where your scar was. Your brows knit in confusion at his sudden touch — the familiarity of which was threatening to evoke something in your mind. It felt like those moments when you stopped short in doing whatever you were doing because a sensation reminded you of certain memory or a dream. You could feel your mind going on overdrive as it raked through you mind palace for a specific memory but failing, making you feel more disgruntled at the mystery of it all. As if noticing the effect he had on you internally, the corner of his lips tip up, forming a devilish grin, "you left your scarf didn't you? well, since your scar is healing pretty fast, I doubt you'd need it anymore—"

Alarmed at how he noticed the scar which you had so diligently covered all these while, you snapped out of it, shoving his hand away, "how did- mind your own business Sunghoon."

"you should be the one minding your own business y/n," he muttered icily, the smile faltering as he took steps closer towards you, his gaze darkening, "stop knocking on death's door, you're not invincible, just lucky. With your predisposition towards danger however, you're going to run out of them soon."

"What's it to you?" you remarked sarcastically, "thought we're strangers."

He bit lower lips as if restraining the smirk that was blooming on his lips, "you'd wish we were."

The next thing you knew, Sunghoon’s gaze darkened and almost instantaneously, you could feel your heart sink, as if knowing exactly what would follow. Within split seconds, he had cupped your face, his thumb caressing your lips, eyes boring into yours, the intensity searing. “Sunghoon, what are yo-“ you protested, palming his chest, trying to push him off, but it all somehow evoked a strong feeling of familiarity, just like earlier. Except, it had gotten too intense that you find yourself immobilised. All of a sudden, your vision went haywire, fading back and forth between reality and fragments of yourself in a similar setting – it was as if your hallucinations or nightmares were being superimposed into reality. The Sunghoon before you kept on fading into someone else — someone you couldn't properly identify as that man pressed his lips onto yours, devouring it with so much ferocity and hunger, that you find yourself struggling for air. When you were finally able to wedge a space in between, to your horror, it was Sunghoon all along. His tongue making a quick swipe over his lipstick-stained lips, eyes glazed with lust. Within split seconds, he was dipping his head closer to yours again, seeking to reattach his lips to yours. "No- get off!" you protested, blindly hitting him. When he caught your hands in his, the whole scene revert to normal, to the Sunghoon that was caressing your lips at the campus corridor.

You stared at him in a mix of horror and disbelief, disoriented and dizzy. Feeling your self-awareness and will back, you quickly shoved him away. "What was-" you panted, stammering, "that? what was that? what did you do?"

"What was what?" he smirked, backing away at a glacial pace, "I didn't even do anything. You're the one who froze up on me." Just like that, he just turned around and walked away, leaving you rooted on spot, still at loss. It all felt so vivid just now — like remembering a dream or a nightmare but instead of it simply being confined in your mind, it was superimposed into reality, taking over visually and emotionally, rendering you completely struck and helpless.

"y/n!"

You suddenly feel yourself wheeled around, it was Sunoo, looking concerned, "why aren't you responding? I was getting worried since you were gone for too lo-" he paused, noticing how pale you've became, your hands trembling, "hey, are you okay? did he do something to you?"

"Sunoo..." you muttered weakly, forlorn, "I think... I think something is wrong with me."

► Part 003

A/N: Hello everyone! thank you for reading hehe. In case the ending stumps you, fret not, there is a continuation to this. It was getting longer and I thought it would more coherent for it to be ended right here, the rest saved for the next part. That would also be more efficient for me too because as someone who is too perfectionist to a fault, the proofreading bit is taking almost as much effort and time as the initial drafting. Apologies if there are any incoherence and errors. English is after all not my first language. With that said, I hope you like this one as much as the 1st part and hope you'll still stick around for part #003 of Dancing with the Devil — I can assure you that there would be more revelations and more things developing there ;)

Taglist: @axartia | @my5colors | @elinushka-ka ((sorry if I missed out anyone!))

𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐓𝐋𝐘 𝐁𝐔𝐒𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐒𝐒 – 𝟓𝟖

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐅𝐈𝐅𝐓𝐘𝐄𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓: 𝐦𝐲 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧

↬ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐏𝐚𝐫𝐤 𝐉𝐨𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐅𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

↬ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐬!𝐀𝐔, 𝐂𝐄𝐎!𝐉𝐚𝐲, 𝐬𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐲!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: we literally only have two chaps and the epilogue left this is CRAZY 🤕 thank you guys so, so much for all the love and support, am sending everyone kisses pls accept them as a form of gratitude 🥺 i love you all sm💞 feedback is always appreciated!!!💞🧸)

TAGLIST CLOSED: @soonigiri @xrr-s4sha @kwiwin @heelcvr @deobitifull @kpoprhia @doodlelibrary @abrazosolorcereza @certifiedmoa @sleeping-demons @heerinnie @ohmy-moonlightx @heeswif3y @hoonieluv @fakeuwus @jongszn @cheybabey @ineedsomezzz @super-amberlynn @kshoshi @tinie03 @jseongies @mimikittysblog @primroselover @heebrry @jebetwo @donghyckl @07myonlylove @enhamysunshines @quemirasboboandapaya @lostwonderwall @seuomo @enhaz1 @teawithbucky @beomgyusonlywife @dammit-jjk @lhsvibez @azurez @boutyouwonu @finchyyy @ocyeanicc @jaylaxies @in-somnias-world @zerasari @spookyauthorspopmusictrash @capri-cuntz @fluerz @3amstarlight

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silcry

1 year ago

FETISH II

Rating: 18+

Synopsis: This is basically a role reversal of my first fic "Fetish".

Warnings: smut!!!, name calling, humiliation 👀, spitting, lovesick!Sunghoon(is that even a warning?),MALE PINING 🗣, switch!sunghoon, switch!reader

Word count: 7.7k

A/n:

A bunch of people asked for a part two to fetish, but it just wasn't working bro. I might go back and rework it mayhaps but I somehow ended up writing like a role reversal of the first fetish where Sunghoon is now desperate and in love with a chick that doesnt even want him frfr idek man.

Sunghoon had taken a liking to pretty things for as long as he could remember. Call him vain, but whether it was jewelry, clothes, and yes, women, he always had to have the best of the best.

He could remember the day she had flitted into his life, achingly sweet, completely untamable and hot as hell. He knew instantly that he had to have her.

The only problem was that she was completely disinterested in him for anything more than the pleasure he could bring her. The harder she fought, the deeper he fell whilst she remained seemingly unbothered by his pursuit of her.

At first he relished the chase. And she enjoyed the attention, letting him sweep her away to extravagant shopping trips and dinners and expensive vacations. Maybe he was just a bit of a glutton, but endlessly chasing after her both turned him on and amused him. And every time he had managed to capture her pretty, curvy figure between his sheets the victory tasted a little bit sweeter.

But eventually, it got too difficult to just look at their situation like a fun game. Eventually, he realized he did the one thing that ruins every friends-with-benefits situationship. He caught feelings. He tried to downplay it like a silly crush, to force himself not to love her. But he often dreamed of seeing her deep, onyx eyes soften as she looked at him with the same tender love as he did her. Of her delicate little hand gleaming with a diamond symbolizing their reciprocated love and commitment to each other. Of her walking towards him, ethereal as always, in a white gown as all of their friends and family watched.

How could he not fantasize about their lives together when they spent every free second that they had with each other? Sunghoon honestly couldn't fathom how his crush could be unreciprocated when they were so close, when they thought like, looked like, and behaved like they were a couple.

His "crush" was in fact infatuation. Obsession. Undeniably, the deepest and purest love he had ever experienced.

As he gazed at his reflection in the mirror across the room, he felt nauseated.

Sunghoon had never considered himself the brightest, but falling head over heels in love with a woman who saw him as nothing more than a friend and a means to get off had to be the dumbest thing he had ever done.

He watched, dejected and defeated as she slid the straps of her lacy bra back over her shoulders. She hummed a little tune to herself as she searched for a missing sock, flung somewhere in his room in the heat of the moment.

"Maybe you can stay....just a little longer?" The pathetic tone in his voice sparked rage within him.

"Stay? What for?" She giggled, fluffing out the coils in her pony puff, still only sporting a single sock.

"Because I don't want you to leave. I enjoy your company. It's not always just about the sex, you know."

"Of course it's just about the sex. That's why this works, Hoonie. And we both know that the second one of us tries to turn it into being anything more, we'll have to end the entire-"

"Why?" She blinked owlishly.

"Why?" Sunghoon was feeling oddly bold tonight.

"Yes. Why?"

"Because I don't want to be in a relationship with you, Hoon." Damn. That hurt. She must have noticed the expression on his face, because she was quick to backpedal.

"No, that's not what I meant. I don't want to be in a relationship at all."

"Are you fucking other men?"

"What? No, of course not. You know I'm not."

"Then what's the difference? You're the only woman in my life, and I'm the only man in your life right now, we're basically already in a relationship. We see each other just about everyday, we text and talk on the phone constantly, we go out, I take you shopping and on vacations, and we've been fucking without a condom for almost a year. We're already together. The only difference will be that I get to call you mine. Might as well just make it official." She stubbornly refused to admit that what he was saying was true.

"Sunghoon-"

"I know you already know how I feel about you." He cut her off, rising from the comfort of his bed to tower over her. Her eyes caressed his naked body, a spark of heated lust filling her gaze.

"Sunghoon, don't."

"Don't what? You already know, baby. It's too fucking late. I'm in love with you." He watched her head shake in frustration.

"I'm in love with you. And I'm sure you've known that for quite some time now. This isn't just a fun little fling anymore. When we're together, we're not just fucking to me. We're making love. Can't you feel the difference? I can. I want to show you off to my friends. As my woman. And meet your family. As your man. Marry you one day. I love you." Her eyes held mild disappointment in them.

"This has been fun, Sunghoon. But I think I should probably go." She decided that the missing sock wasn't that important, shoving her bare foot into her sneaker and finishing dressing in quick haste.

"That's it? You're just gonna leave me now?" He had put his heart out on the line, and things were not looking hopeful.

"I told you, Sunghoon. The second you catch feelings, it's over. I probably let this go on too long, to be honest. I'm sorry. Making you fall in love with me and then leaving you was never my intention."

"Then don't! You can't leave me. It's not fair." Panic was beginning to spread across every nerve in his body as he watched her pull her phone off his charger and chuck it into her purse, taking a final glance around to make sure she wasn't leaving a single thing.

Because now that he'd opened his big fat mouth, she'd probably never be back for it.

"You broke our only rule, Sunghoon."

"I can't not have you in my life."

"I don't think it'd be fair to you to keep this going knowing how you feel about me, and how I feel about relationships. Us just sleeping together is eventually not going to be enough for you." She was slowly approaching the door to his bedroom, looking at him with sympathetic eyes like he was a wounded puppy.

"It could be enough. I think I can.... I could make it be enough." He reached out, wrapping a hand around her wrist to stop her.

"You can make it be enough?"

"Yeah. I can.... I can be ok with just sleeping together. But I can't lose you all together. Please." Begging her to keep fucking him was making him feel so pathetic he wanted to tear his own hair out, but he continued anyway.

"Please. I'm begging you not to leave me." He couldn't read the expression on her face, but he could tell she was contemplating her next move.

"I don't want to hurt you anymore than I already am. You're only going to fall deeper and harder, and it's going to hurt way worse later on if we keep this up, Sunghoon."

"I don't care. I'll take what I can get now, and deal with the repercussions later. Nothing has to change." He was weak, and it was making his skin crawl.

"Things have already changed. I feel so guilty. I really should just go, Sunghoon."

She tried to gently tug her wrist out of his grasp, sighing as he only held on tighter. She looked into his eyes, surprised to find his orbs teary and desperate as he looked down at her.

"Then just give me one more night? To be close to you? Can we... can we make love just one more time?" His lovesick voice cracked when he spoke and it was making her feel a strange sort of emotion that was totally unfamiliar to her.

"This feels like a bad idea." She whispered, resting her forehead against his warm, bare chest. She felt his arms wrap around her form, tugging her close and hugging her like this was the last time he'd ever get to do so.

It might've been.

Her arms wrapped around him in return, fingers stroking up and down his back in a weak attempt to soothe him. She felt an odd lump in her throat at the thought of this being her last time with him. She buried her face in the crook of his neck, breathing in a mix of sweat, sex, and something that was purely Sunghoon. She let him hold on for as long as he wanted to, partly because she had come to the realization that she was quite content to be in his arms, and also because she didn't want him to see the way her eyes were staring to water.

"I'll miss you so much." Her brain had not given her mouth permission to say such words, but it was too late to stop them from tumbling past her lips.

"You don't have to miss me. I'll always be here for you. Always. For anything you need. For sex. If you just want to talk. Or if you just miss me. You have my whole heart. And you leaving me is not going to change that." She rested her chin on his chest as she looked up at him. A sad smile crossed his face before he leaned down to press a soft, chaste kiss to her lips.

"Sunghoon." His heart constricted at the quiver in her voice.

"Yes, Pretty?"

"Don't say things like that. You're making it too difficult for me to leave." A single tear cascaded down her chubby cheek, followed by another.

"Then don't. You don't have to. I'd be more than happy to have you stay." He wiped the tears away, kissing the wet trails they left behind.

They stood in silence for a while, just holding each other. Until he felt her place a kiss on his chest, trailing them up his neck, tiptoeing to kiss his lips. He became keenly aware of his naked girth pressing against her stomach as her arms wrapped around his neck, fingers carding through his hair.

"Just one more night, Sunghoon. And tonight..." She trailed off, kissing from his lips to whisper in his ear. "... I'm going to take care of you." He felt a shiver run down his spine.

Her lips trailed from his ear back down his neck, pausing to suck pretty red hickeys into his sensitive spots. He moaned softly at the feeling, internally grateful to have a physical reminder for at least the next few days of their relationship. Her kisses didn't stop there, trailing down his chest, her lips suckling bruises in an oddly specific pattern over his racing heart. As she continued down the length of his body, he caught sight of his reflection in the mirror, a small gasp escaping him as he caught sight of the pattern she had suckled into his skin. A heart. How fucking cute. He was so busy admiring his heart of hickeys that he barely noticed her sinking to her knees, startling as she placed a kiss onto his tip.

"Sit down on the bed, baby." He was quick to comply, sitting at the edge of his bed and leaning back on his palms as he watched her strip herself naked.

He enjoyed the show, trying to commit every curve, freckle and faint scar on her body to his memory. When she was fully naked she kneeled between his legs, teasingly kissing from his knees to his thighs and up to his groin. As much as he hated being teased, he forced himself not to rush her, knowing this might be the last time he ever got to experience bliss like this with her. She felt herself growing increasingly wet as his soft moans turned to concupiscent whining. His head had fallen back on his shoulders, cheeks flushed in arousal. When he brought his head back up to look down on her, the desperation, the hunger in his gaze moved her to quit teasing him.

She wrapped her warm, soft hand around his length, giving it a gentle squeeze. His puppy eyes were trained on her pretty face as she slowly began to stroke him, twisting her wrist as she got closer to his head.

"Fuck." He swore, pupils dilating in arousal.

She leaned forward and spat a wad of spit onto his length as lube, her pace quickening.

"Oh! ...Shiiit." He moaned, "Feels so fucking good."

"Yeah? You like when I stroke you, baby? You're so fucking hard for me and I've hardly gotten started."

"I fucking love when you stroke me, baby. So fucking good. 'M so fucking hard for you." He gasped.

"Mhmm. I love playing with you when you're sensitive like this, Hoonie." She hummed, giving him yet another love bite on his inner thigh.

"Shit. Keep marking me up, baby. So everyone can see that I'm your's. I love seeing your hickies all over my body." He sighed contently.

She obliged, scattering red and purple bruises across his inner thighs as she continued to stroke his length. She focused all of her attention on his pretty pink head, watching as it twitched and dribbled clear beads of precum all over her hand. He was grunting now as she massaged his head, repeatedly twisting her wrist and feeling him throb against her palm.

"I'm gonna cum...if you keep stroking my tip like that," He moaned.

She smiled an evil smile before reaching her other hand between her legs, gathering her sticky arousal on her fingers before wrapping it around his shaft. She started twisting and stroking in the opposite direction of her other hand, unable to stop herself from rubbing her thighs together to relieve the ache she was beginning to feel.

"Oh, shit! I'm gonna fucking cum."

"Yes, please, baby." Looking into her lust filled eyes as her pace quickened once more made him bust, a shiver wracking his spine as his creamy cum began oozing over her fingers.

His fingers curled into the sheets, gripping handfuls as his abs tightened and convulsed in pleasure. She watched his pretty face contort, pink pout falling open as he let out a hot, drawn out moan. She couldn't tell which sight she enjoyed more, his twitching tip spewing warm, white cum all over her French manicure. Or his face, dazed eyes, scrunched nose, and plush panting lips. She leaned in and kissed those panting lips, smiling as all he could manage was a weak moan in response.

"You look so fucking pretty when you cum. I think I'll make you cum again." She stated quite matter of factly before suckling his still hard tip into her mouth.

His legs began quivering, eyes fluttering shut when she licked a broad stripe starting from the base of his cock all the way up to his tip. She flicked her tongue at his tip, massaging his already sensitive frenulum. She loved seeing him like this, shaky and pathetic from the slightest touch.

"Fuck! W-wait! I'm s-sensit-tive!" He stuttered, his eyes rolling back into his head when she unexpectedly sunk down to the base of his cock.

"W-wait!" She looked up at him, choking on his length before she swallowed so tightly around his cock that the only thing he could do was thrust his hips shakily into her mouth, feeling his seed starting to spurt deep into the back of her throat.

"Ahhhh, fuck!" He cried, on the verge of passing out as the pleasure spread to every cell in his body.

His vision went white, ears ringing as his system overloaded. It felt so fucking good, so intense that it hurt. He wanted it to stop, but he also never wanted it to end. He raised a shaky hand off of his bed to lace through her curls in an attempt to pull her off of his dick, but when she pulled back to suck on his tip he roughly pushed her head back down into his groin, whimpering as he fucked the last few spurts of his seed directly into her stomach. When he weakly plopped back against his bed, she finally released him from her throat.

"Anything," She gasped, licking the remnants of his leak off of his still pulsing head. "I'll give you anything you want, baby. Just tell me what you want."

"I want to fucking eat you," He slurred, still drunk on his orgasm.

"Ok," She crawled beside him on the bed, laying on her side and pressing kisses to his jaw until he had regained enough strength to flip his body over on top of hers, pressing a deep kiss to her lips. She grinned when he pulled back quickly, a deep blush covering his cheeks.

"Why are you blushing, Sunghoon?" She teased.

"Can you taste yourself in my mouth? Don't you taste so fucking good, baby? Nothing makes my pussy wet like tasting you. And feeling you throb inside of my throat. I fucking love making you cum in my mouth." She giggled when she felt his cock twitch against her in response.

"You're so gross," He mumbled, kissing down her neck, "I love it."

She could feel him returning the hickies she had decorated him with, an unwelcome feeling of butterflies setting off inside her stomach as he gave her a matching hickey heart. His big hands cupped her tits, pinching and rolling her nipples between his fingers. She keened as his lips surrounded and suckled a pert nub, nipping and kissing and slurping each bud until she was squirming. She watched through halflidded eyes as he nibbled gently, teeth capturing her nipple in a pleasurable pinch before his kisses continued in their descent. When he got to her smooth mound, he covered it in achingly sweet kisses, spreading her thighs wide and settling comfortably in between. He teased her just as she had teased him, placing kisses at the junction of her thighs, licking her outer folds teasingly. And only when she was squirming restlessly, back arching in desperation, soft little cries and pleas leaving her lips did he give in to her desire. Her eyes were closed, prepared to put up with a lifetime of his teasing when she felt his tongue dip into her sopping, sticky entrance. She held her breath in anticipation, gripping a handful of his thick hair when his pillowy lips puckered against her aching clit.

"Pussy tastes so fucking good," He whined, tonguing the hood of her clit playfully.

"Don't know how I'm supposed to fucking function without it, Dollface." He pouted, his playful licks turning into deep kisses against her clit.

"I need it. I need you. I'm your's. Please, Doll. Don't take my pretty little cunt away from me, I really think I'd die without it." His wet lips wrapped gently around her bud and began to suckle softly. He watched as her eyes grew dim with pleasure, fingers carding through his dark locks and gripping his roots in a fist.

"Sunghoonie," She sighed shakily.

"Mmm?" He hummed in response, the vibration around her clit making her hips buck.

"Don't s-say that!"

"Say what?" He asked innocently, his tongue lapping slowly at her dripping core.

"That y-you're mine." She gasped, feeling the slightest bit lightheaded as his tongue dragged over her clenching asshole.

"It's the truth. Doesn't matter if you like it or not. I'm a slave to this perfect fucking pussy. Whether you want me or not, I'm already your's." He pushed his tongue into her tight ass, the tip of his nose rubbing against her clit.

"No," She moaned, clenching around his writhing tongue before he pulled it out and returned to sloppily slurping at her clit. She couldn't help drawing her knees up so she could force more of his gorgeous face into her snatch.

"Yes," He groaned. "Your's. All your's."

And that was that. Sunghoon was finished talking about it, diverting all of his attention to feeling her cream his tongue. He focused all of his energy into sucking and spitting and licking at her juicy core until her back was arching off of the bed, thighs warming the sides of his face as she prepared to drench his mouth with her arousal. Just as she was about to peak, he pulled away.

"Sunghoon! Don't stop, please, I'm so close!" She begged.

"Yeah?" He menacingly kissed her wet folds. "Tell me who I fucking belong to and I'll make you cream." Her brows pinched together frustratedly.

"Sung-"

"Tell me! Tell me how this pretty pussy owns me. I'd do any-fucking-thing to keep you, baby. For you to keep me. Tell me that I'm your's and I'll pleasure you like no other man on this earth can."

He could clearly see the mental war she was battling, relief coursing through him as she slumped back against his sheets.

"You... you're mine, Sunghoon. All fucking mine."

Her final three words ended with a squeal as he spread her sticky lips apart with his fingers and devoured her, throwing her over the edge into a violent orgasm. Sunghoon's eyes nearly rolled back into his head at the feeling of her cunt locking tight around his tongue, her sweet, warm, milky cum oozing into his mouth and down his throat. He gulped down her orgasm, likening it to an aphrodisiac as he felt his dick dribble and throb with need.

"Fuck me?" He mumbled into her wetness. "Please?"

"Hmmm... That's what you want, baby?" She panted, still shivering with the remnants of her orgasm.

"Yes, please. Need you to fuck me so bad."

"Come here," He crawled up her body, leaving kisses here and there until he was hovering over her. She allowed him to place a few delicate pecks to her lips before she was pushing at his shoulder to signal that she wanted to get on top. He obliged, laying back into his pillows as she straddled his lap. She took hold of his girth, positioning his wide tip at her entrance.

"Ready, baby? I hope you're ready. Because I'm gonna fuck you so good, you'll never forget this night," He tucked his lip between his teeth, nodding in anticipation.

"Please, baby. Hurry, I need you so fucking bad." He gulped as she took hold of his wrists, pinning them above his head. He groaned at the feeling of her grinding against his heavy erection, a dull ache resonating in the pit of his stomach.

"You're pretty when you beg. Have I ever told you that?"

"I feel like that's all I ever do when I'm with you." He scoffed, rolling his eyes.

"Keep giving me attitude, and I'll really make you grovel." Was she crazy, or did his eyes gain a spark of lust at her threatening to punish him?

"Aren't I desperate enough for you? I never knew you were into humiliating me. Kinky little thing, aren't you?" He sassed. She removed her hands from his wrist, sitting back and resting her weight on his dick. His hips immediately bucked in response, a quiet gasp escaping his throat.

"You want to give me attitude? That's fine, honey. But we play by my rules. If you touch me or move your hands, then I leave. Understand?" Her commanding tone sent a bolt of arousal straight to his dick.

"Yes, ma'am," He responded sarcastically.

But his sarcasm was cut short as she placed her small hands on his chest as leverage and began grinding her wet snatch against his girth. She moaned lewdly everytime the head of his cock dragged against her swollen clit, causing her to drip all over his length. She continued teasing him, trailing a hand up his torse to wrap around his neck and squeeze.

"Fuck, please," He begged, feeling his dick pulsate in tandem with the racing of his heart.

"Please, Doll. Fuck me? I-I'll be good now. I promise." He muttered, body shivering in excitement.

"Look at you. You're pathetic, Sunghoon. You were just so cocky a minute ago. And now you're begging me to fuck you like the dirty slut you are." His dick twitched in warning, her degrading words scratching an unknown itch in Sunghoon's brain.

"Yes," He moaned. "I'm a dirty fucking slut for you. Need you to fuck me right now!"

"Dirty sluts like you don't get to make demands. You're lucky I'm even touching you. And don't you dare think about moving those hands. I know you want to. I know you want to reach out and touch me..." He whimpered as she leaned in close, her full breasts calling for him to grab a handful.

"I bet you want to reach out... maybe grab my hips and force my tight little cunt down onto your aching dick. Huh?" She teased, lifting her hips just enough to take the tip of his cock into her pussy.

"Oh f-fuck!" As quick as she had put his tip in she was pulling back off of it, and gently grinding against his length once again. His fists clenched into tight balls, wanting to be obedient but also wanting to flip her over and drill into her fat little cunt until his leak was so deep inside of her it'd fill her womb.

"You said you'd take care of me tonight, Doll."

"Mhmm?"

"So stop fucking teasing me." She only giggled in response.

"I told you, baby. We play by my rules." She lifted up her hips and slowly sank onto his length wiggling comfortably before settling down.

"You know, this is actually quite comfortable. I think I'll stay just like this." Sunghoon groaned, his dick feeling like it was going to explode from all of her teasing. He had just resolved within himself to put up with her teasing for the rest of the night when he felt her clench around him tightly, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips.

"As much as I love messing with you," She whimpered as she slowly began to rock her hips against his. "I can't have this big dick inside me and not ride it." With that said she began to slowly pick up her pace, tits bouncing enticingly as she rode him.

"Shit," He groaned. "I l-love..." He bit his lip, trying his best to not ruin the moment for her.

"I know you do." She gasped. How could she not know when he was constantly staring at her with hearts in his starry eyes? With her petite hand still around his neck, restricting his airflow and her walls milking his length, Sunghoon was dangerously close to an embarrassingly premature orgasm.

"It's okay, baby. You can say it."

"Fuck. I love you," He moaned, thighs tensing with the need to thrust up into her.

"Touch?" He whined, feeling like he'd simply pass away if she didn't let him.

"Go ahead, Hoon. Touch me." As soon as the words were out of her mouth he had one arm wrapped around her waist pulling her close, the other hand slipping between her thighs to massage her bud.

"I love you," He whispered against her plump lips. His head fell back onto his shoulders, a moan escaping him as she increased her pace. He picked his head up, nuzzling into the crook of her neck, embarrassed at how responsive his body was to her every touch. He was content to keep moaning and whining quietly into her neck, but she seemed to have other plans, tugging his head back by his hair so she could look into his eyes.

"Don't hide from me, baby. I wanna see those pretty fucked out eyes. Hear those cute little moans and watch you struggle to not cum too fast. It's hard, isn't it?" He could only manage a quick nod in response.

"Wanna get on top?"

"Please." He kept a firm grip around her waist and rolled over, immediately pulling her legs up and over his shoulders.

And this position felt so different for the both of them, so much deeper and more intense.

He was pummeling her soaked gash, unable to stop himself from whining into her ear because he'd already came twice and his dick was so, so swollen and so fucking sensitive but he was so fucked out that all he could think about was how good her pussy was stretching around his length.

"Good," He grunted, feeling her clench tightly in response. "So. Fucking. Good."

It seemed as though Sunghoon had fucked the bravado right out of her, leaving her a whining, writhing mess beneath him. His ego expanded at the feeling of her thighs beginning to quiver over his shoulders. He upped the ante, using his long slender fingers to stroke her swollen clit in little circles. He could feel her walls starting to quiver and gush around his length, alerting him to her approaching orgasm.

"Who else could fuck you like I do? Who, baby? Who could fuck you and love you as good as me, huh? No one."

"No!" She moaned, her own hands reaching up to tug at her curly locks.

"Admit it, Dollface. There isn't another man... fuck- on this planet that could both treat you like the slut you are and make you feel like the most important thing in his life. There's only me."

"S-Sunghoon." She stuttered.

"You might leave me tonight, baby. But you'll be back. And I'll be waiting for you with open arms and a hard dick," He grinned, feeling her body go tense as she surrendered to orgasm.

"F-fuuuuuck!" She whimpered out a broken moan, tremors wracking her small frame as she soaked his length in her juices feeling like her orgasm was reaching every single cell in her body and fuck, maybe she did love him just a little bit.

He cast his gaze between her thighs, lost in the pretty pearlescent cream coating his dick knowing that he'd do anything to keep making it happen. He shifted his thrusts a bit, preening internally when he seemed to nail her g-spot head on.

"You look so fucking pretty cumming for me, baby."

With one hand he massaged a still quivering thigh, a grunt escaping him at the feeling of her cunt locking tight around his dick. His other hand continued to rub tight circles into her clit, stretching her orgasm out until she was on the cusp of another, attempting to wiggle away desperately as he pounded into her engorged g-spot.

"Where do you think you're going, doll?" He teased menacingly, taking in the way her walls were once again beginning to collapse around his dick.

She said nothing, a weak cry getting caught in her throat as her back arched deeply beneath him. He saw shiny tears bubbling up in her drunken eyes before they rolled back into her head. Sunghoon lived for moments like this. Watching her entire body tense beneath him before surrendering completely to his every touch, too blissed out to do anything other than take the pleasure he gave her. He wished he could stay in this moment forever, but he wasn't at all immune to the effects of her orgasms. Her pulsing wet heat sucking and swallowing his aching dick was pushing him to his own orgasm.

"Gonna fucking cum." He groaned. "Gonna cum inside and f-fill you up so good."

"And you're gonna keep every s-single... fuck ...every single drop inside of your pretty little cunt. Or I'm gonna fucking beat your insides weak until it all stays fucking put. Do you understand me?"

She whimpered out a quiet 'yes', pussy still quivering around him. He dropped his line of sight once more, eyes darting between her eyes and cunt as his breathing deepened. He wasn't ready to cum, wasn't ready to think about this ending. But he had fought his orgasm for as long as he could, and he knew he wouldn't be able to last much longer at all. Especially with how pretty the sight before him was. Her tight little snatch coating his dick in her orgasm, a creamy white ring encircling and dripping from the fat base of his cock. Her tiny hands running through his hair and cradling his face affectionately. Her pretty brown eyes were staring at him just the way he fantasized, dazed and in awe of him, just enthralled enough for Sunghoon to trick himself into thinking she was in love. The thought of her loving him back shot a tingle of lightning down his spine and straight to his dick.

"Cumming!" He whined.

His brain shut off momentarily, his body running on pure instinct as he sloppily rutted into her twice more before sinking deep and blowing his load. And maybe it was the possibility of never experiencing this again, or maybe it was just because he was in love, but Sunghoon swore he had never cum as hard and as long as he was cumming in the moment. His fingers dug into her skin creating little crecent moon indentations as he trembled, breathless, helpless and in complete ecstasy. She could feel him throb and twitch with every spurt of cum shooting out of his swollen head, a warm feeling enveloping her as he pumped her full. He came loads and he made absolutely certain that every single drop was buried deep inside of her.

Sunghoon pulled out begrudgingly, already stubbornly thinking to himself that there was no way he could survive without this, without her. He sat back on his haunches, panting, watching to see if any dripped out, ready to fuck her into oblivion again until she could keep his load inside of her.

He was mildly disappointed to see that she kept it all in.

He felt a sense of panic overwhelm him again as she started to sit up. He quickly pushed her to lie flat on her back once more.

"Just let me eat you one more time, baby." He mumbled, already pushing her legs open and planting kisses on her sopping mound.

"Sunghooooon," She whined. "Haven't you had enough?"

"No. Never." He rested her legs comfortably over his shoulders, hands snaking up to grip around her waist.

"I'll never be satisfied until I know you're mine," He dragged his tongue achingly slow across her clit.

"So you think you can just k-keep me in your bed until I agree to date you?" She giggled airly, getting a good grip on the roots of his hair as her hips rolled into his mouth.

"Mhmmm," He moaned around her clit, causing her hips to stutter into his face.

She looked down at him, falling deep into his puppy eyes and watching him gently grind his dick into the mattress as he slowly ate her.

"I can taste myself in your pussy. That's the way it should always be." He felt her walls flutter around his tongue in response.

"Eww." She teased.

"We both know you love it when I'm nasty."

"I do."

"And I love you, pretty. I really do." He reiterated.

"I know you do."

"Just give me a chance? And we can be nasty together forever," He grinned cheekily. She was having a difficult time remembering why she was so against being in a relationship with him.

Before she could reply, he was sinking two fingers into her core, curving them up to massage her abused gspot. Her thighs closed around his hand, overstimulated yet pleading for his touch.

"Sunghoon. I-I can't. It's too much." She stuttered. The look in his eyes told her he wasn't feeling very sympathetic for her weakened state.

"I want to ruin you. I don't care if it makes me the bad guy, but I wanna ruin you. So that all you think of is me. So that all you want is me. So that you know in the very core of your being that no other man can love you and touch you and fuck you the way I can." Even as his words caused the sticky juices to flow between her thighs, she silently wished he'd stop forcing her brain to consider the possibility of being with him.

"I want you to feel what I feel when I look at you. I want you to ache and crave for me like I do for you. And not just for my dick. For my affection and attention. I want you obsessed with me. Possessive of me. In love with me. What's so wrong with that?"

He didn't bother waiting for her response, diverting his attention to placing delicate, yet firm kisses on her clit.

"I love you. Even if you don't love me back, I still love you. So fucking much." He murmured, looking into her eyes as he continued kissing on her clit.

"You talk too much," She moaned, wiggling as her lust for him outgrew the satisfaction that his fingers could give her.

"Can't help it. I'm in love. And I'm gonna keep saying it, whether you want to hear it or not." He stopped his kisses in favor of swirling his tongue around her bud.

"Dick." She demanded.

"Dick, what? How do good girls ask?" She could hear the smug expression on his face.

"Dick, please?"

"Good girl." He put on a show of slowly pulling his fingers out of her to suck on them.

"We taste so good together." A laugh erupted out of him at the sight of her embarrassed face.

"You're mentally unwell. You need professional help."

"The only thing I need... is you." She couldn't help but roll her eyes at him, both amused and annoyed by his persistence.

"How have I never noticed how stubborn you are?" She asked, wrapping her arms around his neck as he positioned himself between her legs once again.

"Only when it comes to things I really, really want." He broke eye contact only to watch his cock slowly grind against her, coating himself in her essence.

"And you really, really want me?" She asked despite knowing the answer.

"More than I want air to breathe." His answer made her stomach drop and her heart race in a pleasant way that she had never felt.

"I am pretty great," She tried to lighten the mood.

"I think so too. I love you."

"Everytime you say that it makes my stomach feel all weird and fluttery."

"Aww. I'm giving you butterflies? That's so fucking cute."

"I don't like it. Make it stop." His smiling face disappeared into the crook of her neck, placing gentle kisses into her skin.

"You do know that you have the option to just enjoy this, right? There's no rules saying you can't change your mind about being in a relationship with me." She fell silent for long enough that it made him lean back so that he could see her face.

"You ok?" She nodded wordlessly but he could see her eyes starting to water.

"Baby? What's wrong?"

"I just...I'm so confused. I don't want to be in a relationship. But I do want you." Sunghoon felt like for the first time tonight, he could finally breathe properly.

"What so bad about being in a relationship?"

"I don't like feeling confined. I don't like feeling like I have an obligation to be with someone. I like having my freedom."

"Do I make you feel confined or restricted? Have you ever thought about the fact that we never actually agreed to sleep exclusively with each other, but neither of us have been with anyone else since we met? Or the fact that you spend a lot of your free time with me, not because you have to but because we like being around each other. And before today, I've never once told you that I wanted you all to myself. You've technically been single this entire time. And you still subconsciously chose me over your freedom."

"You're right." Her small admission was enough to make Sunghoon's heart do backflips in his chest.

"You're over thinking this entire thing, pretty girl. It's just a different label on the same relationship that we already have."

"Right. It's just a different label."

"Exactly....So is this you agreeing to give us a shot?" He awaited her response with baited breath.

"...Yes." Sunghoon figured it'd probably ruin the mood if he jumped up and clicked his heels together in glee, so he settled for claiming his victory with a sweet kiss.

"And now I get to fuck my girl." He whispered against her lips, more than pleased with what he had accomplished.

"Yes, please." She squealed as he roughly flipped her over onto her hands and knees, shivering at the feeling of him lining his tip up with her entrance and pushing in to the hilt.

"Mmm." He moaned. "Pussy feels so fucking good. And it's all mine now."

He stayed there for a minute, allowing himself to readjust to her tightness. She quickly became impatient, purposefully clenching around him.

"Fuck! Behave, Dollface, or this'll be over before either of us are ready for it to end."

"I'm sorry, Hoonie. But you feel so good inside of me." He pulled her up so that her back rested against his chest before he gently caressed her cheek, pushing his thumb into her mouth and letting her suck on it.

"Open." She opened her mouth, gaze locked on his as he spit in her mouth before gruffly ordering her to swallow.

He wrapped a hand around her slender throat, squeezing lightly as he began pounding away. Her eyes immediately got that foggy look in them as he fucked her, glazing over as she slipped into a pleasure induced state.

"Always look so fucking pretty stuffed full of my dick, doll. Do you know that? You have no fucking idea how gorgeous you are." He cooed. She could only mewl back in response, his blissed out pillow princess.

"My pretty baby. I'm so lucky to finally have you all for myself."

Her nails absent-mindedly dug into his strong, muscled thighs trying desperately to ground herself as he bucked into her. He gathered her wrists in one of his hands behind her back and pushed her upper body back into the mattress, panting as it somehow allowed him to drive even deeper into her pussy.

"What a good fucking girl I have. Letting me fuck your pretty little pussy open again. Does it feel good, princess?"

"Yes! Feels s'fucking good. Gonna cum." She keened rolling her hips back into his pelvis.

"Slow down, lovebug. I'm not ready for you to cum just yet." He chuckled haughtily, only to be completely ignored.

"Fuck, yesssss!" She moaned, contracting wildly around his length as she ground back onto him.

"Oh?" He smirked as she trembled and twitched in his hold. "What happened to my good girl?"

"I'm s-sorry, I needed it!"

"It's fine, darling. But since you needed it so badly that you ignored me, I'll just keep making you cum. Let's see how many times I can get you to make a mess of yourself."

Three intense orgasms later she was cursing herself for not listening to him. Sunghoon was certainly a man of his word, turning her into a drooling, cum-drunk, groveling mess. Tears streamed down her face, her fucked out gaze unfocused.

"Look at how wet and desperate and needy you are for me, babylove. You can't even handle a few orgasms without getting dick drunk. You're a fucking dream come true."

"Please, Sunghoon. I'll behave. I promise." Her voice was gravely from crying out for him.

"Yeah? You promise? Then I expect good behavior from you, babydoll."

"I'll be good, I'll be so good!" She squeaked, feeling the telltale signs of another orgasm approaching.

Thankfully, Sunghoon seemed to be approaching his high as well and would hopefully pity her sore, worn out body. He finally released her wrists, pulling her back up to rest against his chest. Her head lulled lazily against his shoulder as she craned her neck to hold eye contact with him.

"I-I'm... Sunghoon! Sung...I'm.."

"I know, baby, I know. You wanna cum for me one more time, hmm? Together?"

"Uh-huh!" He watched her eyes start to roll as her body began quivering in anticipation. He grasped her jaw in his big hand, forcing her to look at him.

"Ok, pretty. Almost there. Look at me. Let me see those pretty eyes so I can cum too." She forced her eyes to lock onto his, and when she saw the warmth and adoration and affection in his brown boba eyes, she finally understood the odd feeling he had been making her feel all night long.

"Sunghoonie?" She hummed.

"Yes, baby?" He replied.

"I love you."

"Fuck!" He wailed in rapture, feeling the first spurts of his orgasm shoot out completely involuntarily in response to her declaration of love.

He tensed, toes curling, convulsing in a pleasure that was just as much emotional as it was physical. Those three little words played over and over in his otherwise empty head, as he filled her tiny womb with his seed, his girthy member jerking with each pulsing wave. She must have really liked the feeling of his warmth filling her up, because she followed right behind him, clamping down around his clumsily thrusting member and raining her wetness all over his sheets.

"Fuck, baby!" He whined. "Love you s'fucking much- mmm!" He pressed his lips to hers in a deep kiss, his hips finally coming to a rest.

"Fuck." She groaned, falling forward onto his mattress and giggling to herself.

"That felt so good, Hoonie. Thank you, baby." She shuddered at the feeling of him pulling out of her, before he laid down with her resting on his chest.

"No," He huffed. "Thank you, pretty girl. For giving us a chance. For being such a good girl for me. And for telling me you love me. Come here." He placed a chaste kiss to her lips and squeezed her in a tight hug.

"It's the truth. I do love you." She mumbled against his lips.

"I love you too, babydoll."

That was the last thing either of them said before they were drifting off to sleep, content, satiated, and in love.

A/n: We're not going to talk about it. Ok. We just aren't. I hate this entire thing. 😒

my love (mine all mine) ☆ jake sim

☆ non-idol! jake x fem! reader ☆ summary: after years of abuse, jake is afraid of love, so why do you have to be so warm? ☆ genre: angst, hurt/comfort, fluff, implied adult! au, very domestic ☆ warning(s)? domestic violence and abuse, poor parenting, 1 mention of self harm, implied mention of suicide, kinda indulgent sorry ☆ word count: 1.5k

The earliest memory that Jake had was the sound of porcelain plates crashing against the tiled kitchen floor, and the wails of his mother.

For a period of time, it was all that he could remember: going home to a cold house, hand-in-hand with his older brother, his heart pounding in his chest as his young mind wondered if Dad was going to hurt Mom again, or if they'd go back to loving each other tonight.

He couldn't have been any older than nine when he experienced the wrath of his father first-hand, when he came to school in May wearing a long-sleeve shirt and long pants as if the early-summer weather wasn't rising, the scent of citrus filling the air. Sure, the bruises, and later scars (because of course, his father just had to try to stab him with a broken beer bottle), hurt, but nothing would compare to the silence that rang through the house after a screaming match. It would pierce his ears every single time, so loud that it was deafening, yet so silent that Jake could hear every single breath that his mother took as she pulled at her hair, driving blades into her skin, ignoring the quiet rumble of her child's stomach.

He'd gone to bed hungry many times. Too many times.

But, perhaps the worst memory that Jake had was the morning after his seventeenth birthday. Jake spent his birthday outside the house, not wanting to be suffocated by the taste of salty tears and domestic violence in the air. He came back late, much later than he should have.

Thank god, neither of his parents were home, and his brother was already off to college by then. When they weren't screaming at each other, physically assaulting their son, or neglecting him, his parents were either off to work, or hanging out with their sketchy friends, drinking all of their responsibilities (like their children) away like nothing else mattered.

Or so he thought.

Because the next thing he knew, his mother was shrieking at him, hitting him with the same hands that should have been cradling his face. And when his bastard of a father heard the commotion, it was almost like he was excited, excited to have an excuse to put his son in a chokehold. It seemed like the only time that his parents wanted to agree with each other was when they could hurt him.

As his lungs closed in on him, his choked breaths gasping for air while Jake tried to pry his father's hands off his neck, he felt light-headed, a fuzzy feeling filling his head until his body lost all its strength.

Jake swore that he would have died that night, if it weren't for the barks of the family dog.

If his perception of family, love, and marriage wasn't already warped, that early morning of his seventeenth birthday did.

He vowed to himself then and there, that he would never get married, nor would he ever start a family.

Yet, as you held him in your arms, enveloping him with warmth as hot tears streamed down his face, Jake could feel all his resolve slipping away.

Indeed, his vow held up. It held up all throughout college and for years into his adulthood. He became known as the "single friend," the friend that was always the designated driver because he'd rather die than consume a drop of alcohol.

But then you pranced your way into his life.

You, with your beautiful face. You, with the brightest smile that he'd ever seen. You, with the softest, most gentle touch.

When you wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing tender kisses against the nape of his neck as you giggled a soft,"I love you," Jake's heart pummeled to his stomach.

It was suffocating.

His hands were clammy, so moist with sweat that he had to wipe his palms on his jeans. His chest would pound, loud enough for it to be the only sound filling his ears. His stomach twisted, a hot coil curling in his abdomen. It was nauseating.

But the worst was what he felt in his throat.

Something wicked— Something overwhelming and painful— clambered up his throat. It wrapped itself around his neck, pulling tight like the noose his mother threatened to put around her own neck. When it crawled up to his mouth, Jake nearly threw it up. He tried to swallow it down, but he gagged.

And it was already too late.

He'd already muttered the words, "I love you, too" back.

Love was terrifying. If he loved, what would happen? Would he get married, and enter a life of pure misery?

And what if he had kids?

When Jake was angry and he looked in the mirror, he hated the way that all he saw was his father's eyes staring back at him. His mother always told him that he looked like his father anyway.

Jake knew he wouldn't. He would never lay a finger on another person, let alone his own kin. But as days and years passed, his voice only sounded more and more like his own father's. He couldn't help the way his expressions scarily resembled his mother's, the same ones that he'd seen contort into fear, wrath, and indifference.

But here he was.

In the dark, his face was buried in your shoulder, the same ones that he'd kissed. You patted his back as he let out sobs, wet and salty tears wetting your skin.

It was another night, where you and him would hang out and flirt in your apartment, maybe do a little kissing.

Maybe he shouldn't have laid down with you. Maybe he shouldn't have let you put your fingers in his hair, stroking it gently as he laid on your chest. Maybe he shouldn't have listened to your every word as you traced his face, muttering to him everything about him that you loved about him. He shouldn't have, he really shouldn't have. Especially when you ended it all with a kiss to his eyelids, whispering into his ear, "I can't wait to marry you one day."

Jake always did his best to contain his emotions. After all, he'd learn to do it so well because of his home life. No one had to know about his struggles.

Yet he couldn't help the wave of emotions that crashed down on his shoulders. One moment, he was smiling in your kiss, the next his face was wet.

It didn't help when you were so warm to him. You cradled his face, kissing his tears away, hands holding him like he was a piece of glass.

"I'm scared," was all he could say.

Because that was all he felt in that moment.

Fear.

Fear, because he couldn't figure out why he was crying.

Fear, because now all his emotions were spilling out.

Fear, because you said you wanted to marry him.

Fear, because he, too, wanted to marry you.

You didn't let him go that night.

You stayed there with him, letting him cry into your shoulder until the sun rose. You didn't know why exactly, but the way he gripped your waist like you'd leave him was enough to tell you.

"I know, I know," you'd whispered into his ear. "I know, Baby."

All he did in response was pull you closer, and chant your name like it was a prayer, like you were his god and he was your worshiper.

Jake's favorite memory was the sound of wailing.

Not the wailing of his mother, not the wailing of his older brother, but the wailing of the child in your arms.

He could only watch with misty eyes as the small newborn clung to your chest, loud crying filling the hospital room.

"Jakey," you said weakly, flashing him a smile. "Look what we made."

We.

That's right.

This child was his and yours. As he held the baby, being careful not to do anything stupid, Jake stared into its crying eyes (as if his eyes weren't crying, too).

When Jake looked at his child, he saw his eyes. He saw the same eyes that his own father gave him. He wasn't filled with fear, or anger, or guilt— he felt love.

This child didn't have his father's angry eyes, the eyes that Jake spent his entire life believing he inherited.

No, this child had Jake's eyes, Jake's eyes that were filled with love.

You giggled softly as you watched your husband's intent and utterly fascinated gaze at your child. He snapped his head up at you.

"I love you," he blurted. He didn't say it a lot. It felt like poison on his tongue when he did, something unnatural and not meant for him. But in that moment, it felt like his entire being was made to say it. "God, I love you so much."

Yes, Jake would run.

He'd run, and run, and run, from love.

He'd run as far as he could, until his legs gave out.

He'd run for eternity, because he knew that one day, he'd walk to you.

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