Right Where You Left Me — P. Jongseong

Sukuna is the type of boyfriend who tells you to shut up when you’re talking—and to talk when you’re silent.

He “hates” it when you cuddle him. He “hates” when you kiss him or show any kind of affection in public.

He “hates” saying “I love you,” and even mocks you for saying it. He says he hates it when you try to hold his hand. He just hates everything.

He says he hates it, hates you, and hates this relationship. That’s what he tells you—every single day.

At first, you thought maybe being mean was just his twisted way of showing he cared. It was weird, but you tried to be okay with it. But slowly, it started getting to you. When you reached for his hand, he would swat yours away. When you leaned in to kiss his cheek, he would push you back.

You weren’t a talkative person by nature—you only spoke when he asked you something. But even then, when you answered, he’d tell you to shut up or say, “Why are you talking so much?”

By the sixth month of your relationship, you had grown painfully quiet inside. You barely said anything, barely did anything. It felt like he had sucked the spark and life right out of you. You were constantly second-guessing yourself.

Every time you had a date with him, it felt like a chore—a heavy, anxiety-inducing task you had to get through. It wasn’t fun anymore. It made you lose sleep.

You started to doubt whether he even liked you as a person, let alone as a girlfriend.

Today was the fourth time you canceled a date on him. —The first time was because you were on your period and didn’t feel up to going out. He had grumbled, gone out to get takeout, then shoved the bag onto your chest and left without a word. —The second time, you had to babysit your cousins. —The third, you had to pick up your baby brother from a different state. —And now today, the fourth, you had a migraine.

For the past three weeks, you’d barely seen or spoken to each other. It seemed like life kept pulling you away—and honestly, you didn’t mind.

But he did.

He was already outside your house, waiting in his car when you texted him that you couldn’t come. He didn’t take it well.

Sukuna slammed his phone onto the passenger seat, got out, and slammed the car door behind him. Then he stormed up to your front door and started banging on it, hard.

You were lucky your parents weren’t home.

You flinched at the sound of his fists slamming against the wood. It wasn’t the first time he had gotten angry, but something about tonight felt worse. Maybe it was the pounding in your head, or maybe it was just the way your stomach dropped when you heard him yell your name through the door.

“Open the damn door, Y/N!” he barked.

You rushed to open it, heart racing—not because you wanted to see him, but because you didn’t want the neighbors hearing and calling your parents… or worse, the police.

His fist was mid-air when the door swung open.

He froze, standing in your doorway, chest heaving with fury. His eyes burned as they locked onto yours, and for a moment, you genuinely weren’t sure what he was going to do.

You looked away, unable to hold his gaze.

“I don’t feel well,” you said quietly. “You should go.”

He scoffed, stepping forward. Sometimes you wondered just how big he really was—how he seemed to fill the doorway with his presence alone. Broad shoulders brushing both sides, head nearly grazing the top. It was like he was built to block the exit, to make everything feel smaller when he entered.

He walked you backward into the house and slammed the door shut behind him.

“Are you serious right now? I’ve been waiting out there for an hour—again—and you’re gonna pull this shit?”

“I said I don’t feel well,” you repeated, your voice a little steadier this time.

He laughed, that same bitter, cutting sound that made your stomach turn. “Yeah, right. Another excuse.”

You went quiet, eyes dropping to your socks. You didn’t want to look at him. You couldn’t.

“You’ve been avoiding me,” he snapped. “We haven’t gone on a date in weeks. You barely text or call. Spit it out—what the fuck is your issue?”

Your fingers nervously played with the hem of your t-shirt, tugging it slightly as if that could anchor you.

Then, softly—firmly—you said it:

“Let’s break up.”

Silence.

It was immediate and deafening. He went completely still. You could feel the shift in the air, like all the heat had been sucked from the room. You swore you couldn’t even hear him breathing.

But you still didn’t look up.

You stood there, staring at the floor, heart pounding in your chest like a warning drum.

You didn't want to see the look on his face. You didn’t want to see the moment he realized you meant it.

And you did.

You really meant it.

The silence didn’t last.

It cracked.

“What the fuck did you just say to me?”

His voice was low. Dangerous. Like the calm before a storm that you’d been caught in too many times before.

You still didn’t move. Didn’t respond.

“I said,” he growled, stepping closer, “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

You finally looked up. Just once. And what you saw made your chest tighten.

His eyes were wild—red with fury, disbelief twisting his face into something almost unrecognizable. His jaw clenched, vein ticking in his temple.

“Oh, I get it now,” he sneered, voice dripping venom. “There’s another guy, right? That’s why you’ve been so distant, so fucking weird lately.”

He stepped forward again, and you instinctively took a step back—until your back hit the wall.

He bent down slightly, crouching just enough to be level with your eyes. His face was so close, you could feel the heat of his breath, the way it shook with restrained anger.

“So tell me,” he whispered, voice low and mocking, “is that it? Is it because of some guy?”

You blinked rapidly, trying to fight off the tears burning your eyes. Your breath hitched, chest rising and falling with the effort to stay calm.

His red eyes searched yours. But this time, it wasn’t just rage in them—it was something else. He was looking at you like he was trying to memorize you. Like deep down, some part of him knew he was about to lose you for good.

“There’s no one else,” you said. “It’s just you. It’s only ever been you.”

He shook his head, his frustration growing by the second. His hands balled into fists at his sides, like he didn’t know where to put them, didn’t know what to do with the energy coiling in his chest.

“Then why?” he demanded, his voice cracking with desperation. “Why? You need to tell me. I need to know. Why?”

His breath came quicker now, but his eyes—they were wild, searching. As if you held the answers to a riddle he couldn’t solve, no matter how many times he asked.

And then, the question slipped out. The one you’d been too afraid to ask, too afraid to even let yourself think about.

“Sukuna,” you whispered, barely above a breath, “do you even like me?”

You didn’t want to ask it, but something in you had to know. Something inside you had to hear him admit it—whether he cared, whether this had ever been real, or whether it was all just a game to him.

You didn’t dare look at him directly, too scared to see the answer, whatever it was. You focused on the floor, trying to steady your breath, trying to hold yourself together.

There was a long pause.

And then, when he spoke again, it wasn’t with the anger or spite you’d grown accustomed to.

It was softer. Almost too soft.

“Of course, I fucking like you,” he muttered, though there was no confidence in it.

You shook your head, unable to believe a single word he said. “No, you don’t, Sukuna. No, you don’t. You hate me. You always say you find me annoying, and you hate this relationship. You don’t like me, let alone love me.”

The words tumbled out faster than you could stop them, like once you started, you couldn’t hold back anymore.

“Sukuna...” You took a shaky breath, voice breaking despite your best efforts. “I... I can’t even sleep. I don’t know how you feel about me or what we have. You’re so angry all the time. I get scared to talk to you or ask you anything...”

You almost felt like you were rambling, but the words were all that needed to be said, finally out in the open.

The truth, ugly and raw, spilled out of you like a dam breaking, everything you’d been bottling up for so long.

Sukuna stood there, staring at you with wide eyes, as if he couldn’t comprehend what you’d just said. For a moment, you could almost see the walls crashing down around him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but no words came. He was still processing, still trying to piece together the pieces of what you’d just revealed.

And then, his eyes softened—not in the way they usually did, filled with mockery or disdain—but with something far more terrifying: regret.

“I... didn’t mean for any of that to happen.” His voice was rough, hoarse, as if the words scraped against him.

“I didn’t know... I didn’t realize that it was like this for you.”

You looked up at him, your chest tight with emotion, heart pounding in your ears.

“I never wanted to hurt you,” he continued, his voice quieter now, almost defeated. “I was just—damn it, I…I do love you, Y/N. I love you so much I don't know what to do with it.”

You blinked, stunned, It felt surreal, like a dream or some twisted joke, but the look in his eyes—was undeniable.

For a second, you just stared at him, trying to piece it together. He loved you? After everything? After all the anger, the cruelty, the distance?

His eyes were searching yours desperately, as if he was afraid you wouldn’t believe him, afraid that you would push him away before he could prove it to you.

“I don’t know how to show it, okay?” he said, his voice cracking, frustration and fear bleeding through.

“I don’t want to be like this,” he whispered, his voice barely audible now. “I don’t want to hurt you. I don’t want to make you feel scared or… or small.”

You swallowed hard, your heart a tangled mess of conflicting emotions. Was this just another lie? Another empty confession meant to keep you close, or was this the real thing?

Sukuna’s eyes bore into you, pleading, desperate for you to see past the anger, past the walls he’d built up over the years.

“Please,” he breathed, his voice rough. “Please don’t leave me like this. I can’t lose you. I know I fucked up, but I swear I’ll do anything to fix this”

You wanted to believe him. God, you did. But the fear still lingered. The fear that his words would fade, that the old habits would return, that the anger would drown out whatever this feeling was between you.

But... the way he was looking at you, the way he was fighting to keep you—maybe, just maybe, there was a chance for something different.

Your heart pounded in your chest as you slowly took his hand in yours. His fingers tightened around yours almost immediately, as if he were afraid you’d pull away again.

“We... we don’t need to break up, Sukuna,” you said softly, eyes still fixed on the floor. “But I need time. A break.”

You felt his body tense, his hand trembling in yours.

“A break?” he echoed, the word landing heavy between you both like a thunderclap. “What does that even mean?”

“It means I need space,” you said, more firmly now. “I need time to think. To breathe. I need to figure out if I can still be in this... if you really mean what you say.”

His jaw clenched again, but he didn’t pull away this time. His other hand ran through his hair, dragging it back with a frustrated sigh as he looked away from you.

“I don’t want space,” he muttered. “I want to fix this now.”

“But we can’t,” you said, stepping back a little, your fingers slipping from his hand. “Not all at once. You can’t just say the right words and expect it all to go back to normal. I’ve been walking on eggshells for months, Sukuna. I’m tired. I need to feel like I matter to you—not just when you’re scared I’ll leave.”

Silence settled like fog between you. He didn’t argue. He didn’t yell. He just stood there, staring at you with an expression you’d rarely seen on him—something close to remorse. Maybe even understanding.

“I’ll wait,” he said finally, his voice low and rough. “I don’t know how, and I’ll probably mess it up, but... I’ll wait. Just don’t disappear on me.”

You nodded slowly, swallowing hard. “I won’t.”

---//-----//-----//

i opened the doc thinking I was about to emotionally cripple and obliterate myself with some god-tier angst but no for some reason my brain and hand said....what if… love???

What can I say 🤪👆🏻👆🏻 fr we love it when Dia decides to make the most angsty fics 😜 (oml i will go crazy pls)

ummmm so like random but can someone do me a huuuuuge favour and lmk what their favourite chapters on this blog are? it’s for research purposes and i’d rlly appreciate it! okay thanks gtg back to studying now :3

Please stop, don't stop

Pairing; [Jake Sim x Fem!Reader]!Mob au

Summary; Y/N, despite living in luxury, had always felt like a prisoner with the way her brother treated her. Jay would drag her to countries, only to have her locked up in a hotel room with two bodyguards that weren't allowed to interact with her. She had no friends, her parents were estranged from her and the only person she had was Jay.

Jay, deciding to realise that his sister wasn't a child anymore, gives her a little freedom. It's a long-shot, for a mobster like him to let loose and not keep his guard down. Amidst trying to build a better relationship with his sister, he agrees to let his right-hand man walk into her life.

He expected them to be friends. Someone she could lean on when he wasn't there. Nothing more, nothing less. But God forbid the undeniable chemistry between Y/N and Jake.

A/N; so I hope the summary made sense. And before any of y'all come at me, this is an AU aka alternate universe. The Maknae line might as well be older hehe. All legal. Yes. And, I don't know how the word count got so out of hand. AND, i don't own any of these people except Y/N, and some other mentioned characters.

Words; 15.8k

Masterlist | Enhypen Masterlist

For the longest time, all Y/N knew was to hide under the shadows of her brother. Wherever he went, she had no choice but to follow. She'd been to exotic countries but stayed locked in hotel rooms while her brother tended to business. Never did she get the chance to enjoy travelling, never did she find herself smiling while she stared out of a balcony, and never did she feel sociable.

Granted, she had bodyguards with her, Sunoo and Jungwon, suffocatingly accompanying her wherever she went. They were at her feet, tracking everything from a lift of her finger to a dart of her eyes to report back to their boss by the end of the day. For all she knew, she thought they were insufferable.

They were all insufferable, blindly following her brother's orders in the hopes of getting a minuscule ounce of validation. She wondered how her brother managed to get them wrapped around his fingers, having them- all six of them- live for him and his needs and his desires.

Because at the end of the day, Jay Park was in charge, the strongest of them all, the one that could wipe off their existence with a snap of his fingers. Y/N never believed her brother could possibly hold that much power. Maybe power was just a figure of speech, maybe it was just fear that drove everyone to fall at his feet. Maybe it was because they had all signed their souls to him- a devil's contract.

Her brother, the same boy that fed her popcorn when they were kids, couldn't possibly be the cruel man he now showed himself to be.

Her brother, who once thought of her as the apple of his eye, only coldly glanced at her when he cried or complained. With a glass of whiskey in one hand, the other tracing his jawline, he'd tut at her. "Don't be pathetic," he'd sneer. "What would mum and dad say if they saw you like this?"

Y/N would ask herself the same question. If her mum and dad saw her locked away in random hotel rooms with two men watching her like hawks, they would be disappointed. If her mum and dad saw her cry to her brother about her loneliness, their hearts would ache.

Well, those were the answers concocted from fantasy.

In reality, her mum and dad would tell Jay to do whatever he could in his power to keep her safe. Her mum and dad would allow her to live the rest of her life miserably, as long as it meant she was still alive, breathing. Her mum and dad would applaud Jay for making the decisions he made.

She hated it, Y/N hated him with every fibre of her being- in the beginning, at least. It got exhausting, after a point. To hate her brother was to hate someone he was forced to become. To hate her brother was to hate the industry she saw herself taking over someday. To hate her brother was to mar the good memories she had with him.

Y/N accepted it just around the time she turned eighteen. She accepted spending half her life around expensive hotels and services. She accepted being an unknown sibling when she attended gatherings with her brother on one of those rare days. She accepted being helpless.

She was pathetic. Or maybe she wasn't, her life was. She had overheard Heeseung and Niki talk pithily of her to Jay. She had watched Sunghoon give her half-hearted glances as he walked past her. She would let Sunoo and Jungwon- who were ordered to not converse with her- ignore her mundane requests. She would endure the helpless shrugs Jake passed her-

Jake. How she envied him sometimes. How she envied the way treated him, his right-hand man, more like a sibling than he treated her. Y/N didn't know what it was about Jake that her brother admired so much. What was it that he could do that she couldn't? What was it that Jake had to offer that she couldn't?

He was so loyal to him, Y/N noticed. Jake Sim would do anything to protect Jay Park. To be fair, she did hear them argue quite a lot. She wasn't sure about what, but every time they argued, Jay would become a little angrier, a little more controlling and a little more on edge.

In the world she lived in, loyalty was the only thing keeping them alive. Keeping her alive. Y/N stayed loyal to Jay by not running away. The boys he strung alone stayed loyal to him by obeying him, not selling him out.

In the world she lived in, looking over her shoulder was her priority. Physically and metaphorically, of course. Everything had safety precautions, from the keychains on her purse to her beloved phone- the same phone that Jay controlled with through regulations.

He baned her from using social media. All she did with it was watch movies, listen to music or play games. Nevertheless, it was better than having nothing at all. It was better than enduring an eternity of boredom.

Because, Y/N was currently tucked away in boredom, locked in a room with her two trusted bodyguards. They were somewhere in Italy- her balcony gave her a splendid view of the city and with the moon shining in the corner of her sight, her room sparkled with silver.

While she shamelessly hummed a tune and looked out the balcony, Sunoo and Jungwon sat in the room on separate chairs. The pair stared at their phone, thumbs typing away yet somehow, half their attention was on Y/N.

Their one order was to take care of her, and she was sure they vowed to do a damn well job at it.

"Y/N," she heard Jungwon step into the balcony, his phone fisted into his hand as he waited for a response. She simply hummed at him, telling him to continue. "Your brother wants to speak with you."

A groan drawled from her throat, head tilting over her shoulder as she glanced at him. Jungwon, though he wasn't innocent, he certainly did look like it. With his beady eyes and puffy cheeks- Jay must have gone to hell and back to have him and Sunoo on his side. Both of them didn't look like they belonged. Perhaps that was their advantage.

"What does he want?" Her eyes tiredly narrowed as she spoke but ultimately received no answer.

She rolled her eyes, following Jungwon back into the room. She was being guided out by him and Sunoo, strolling behind her as she strutted out the door and down the hall until the door to her brother's hotel room came to view.

Swinging the door open, she was immediately met with the sight of two tramps- one entertaining her brother while the other danced in the middle of the room.

Niki sat on one couch, holding up a phone to record the tramps while Heeseung sat beside him. Jake and Sunghoon sat on another, smirks of amusement plastered on their faces as they watched. Y/N scoffed when Jungwon left her side to sit with Jay and Sunoo left to sit beside Niki.

"Dismiss your prostitutes before asking for your sister next time," she crossed her arms, heels clicking as she came closer to her brother.

With a tut and a snap of his fingers, the two girls disappeared into the bathroom. Niki groaned out a complaint, something about being bored, and tucked his phone away. He was the youngest, yet he was the strongest out of them all. Y/N had heard rumours about his talents in wielding knives.

Heeseung, who sat beside him, was the oldest and smartest. The one in charge of planning and executing- or so she heard. He had his arm wrapped around Niki's shoulders, a stoic scowl taking over his face as he looked at Y/N.

"I know you hate me but try being nice to me when my friends are around," Jay smirked, standing to meet his sister's gaze.

"It's exhausting to feel anything towards you, brother," as Y/N rolled her eyes, Niki involuntarily snickered.

Jay flashed the boy a glare and he quickly covered his mouth. "As I said," he looked back at his sister. "Play nice."

Y/N hid her disbelief by sucking in a breath, digging her nails into her arms. "Why'd you want to see me?"

"Mum called," he said so casually, it made her raise a brow.

"What am I to do with that piece of information?"

"Again with the attitude," he warned, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "She wants us to attend a gathering tomorrow," he informed.

"Tomorrow?" She asked.

"Yes, tomorrow," he echoed. "And not to worry, mum already has a dress sent for you," he offered her a teasing smile which earned him another roll of her eyes.

"Are you bringing all six of your playthings or is it just gonna be the two of us?" She waved her hand, pointing towards the rest of the boys, eyes still trained on her brother.

"Have some manners," Jay scowled. "They haven't done anything to you."

"Doesn't matter. They're all loyal to you, aren't they?" Y/N cocked her head. "I don't feel like giving you lot manners," she seethed.

"I'm not gonna repeat myself," Jay seethed back, snapping his fingers at her face.

Y/N flinched. She shamelessly flinched, eyes blinking and body leaning back. But then she shook away the shock on her face, standing straight and offering him the same stoic expression she gave her when she was angry.

"Just answer my question."

Jay rolled his eyes this time, hand retreating to his side. "It's only going to be me, you and Jake," he promised.

"Awe, am I not gonna have my lovely bodyguards there?" She pouted, clearly showing off her sarcasm.

"Jake is more than capable of taking care of you for one night," Jay smiled teasingly, looking over her shoulder to steal a glance from his right-hand man. "The rest of them have business to attend to."

"Of course," she smiled right back at him, narrowing her eyes. "Is that all?"

"Yes, that is all," Jay nodded. "I expect you to be ready by tomorrow evening."

"The dress better look pretty, then."

"Oh, don't worry. It is," Jay cooed. "Mum even got it in pink."

Her scoff went unnoticed by everyone when they fell into a stupor of laughter. Y/N was used to it, to be openly made fun of. Maybe she didn't care, either. Regardless, if something happened to Jay one day, it would be her they listened to. She knew how she could get her way.

"Sunoo and Jungwon can stay here for the night. Have some fun," Jay announced.

"Yay, I get to spend the night alone," she leaned her weight on one leg. "Generous of you," she crooned.

"I know," Jay crooned back, eyes trailing towards his right-hand man. "Be a gentleman, Jake, and bring my sister back to her room, will you?"

Jake stood up, rubbing his palms against his jeans and giving Jay an assuring nod. Y/N didn't bother to meet Jake's eyes or bid her brother a good night. She trailed towards the door, leaving as she felt Jake's hand hovering over her back.

The halls were empty, ground matted with blue carpets, walls plastered with ivory wallpaper, all the glory made visible by dimly lit golden lights. Yet her senses drowned in the sounds of their feet padding against the carpet, his hand guiding her by her back.

Jay must have trusted him the most. If it were anyone else, he probably would have chopped their fingers off for even dreaming of touching her- his sister. For someone that acted like she deserved no happiness, he sure was overprotective.

"Jay only wants to keep you safe."

Jake's voice rang loud and clear, his accent giving away his nerves. Y/N scoffed again, rolling her head to the side to get a better look at his perfectly styled hair and sculptured nose.

"I thought none of you were allowed to talk to me?"

Then came silence, just as she expected. And Jake had let her into her hotel room, locking the door as he left, leaving her in silence. Lonely silence and she liked that she was alone. For once she wouldn't have two bodyguards shielding her to sleep.

The next morning, she was happy to realise that Jay was wrong. The dress her mum sent was, in fact, black. The satin wrapped around her frame effortlessly and Y/N admired herself in the mirror, her hands brushing over her collarbones and neck that hung a thin chain. Her fingers adorned with rings, ones that Jay bought for her.

She was brave enough to wear stilettos, and her feet tapped against each other while she sat in the back of her car, staring out the window. Jake drove, Jay sat in the passenger's seat. The rearview mirror angled directly at Y/N, giving Jay a clean picture of his sister.

"When'd you get your nails done?"

Y/N admired her nails, shiny black liquor matching her dress. "I did them myself," she spoke with a smile.

Jay hummed, amused by the way his sister entertained herself. He didn't say anything else, just tapped his phone against his cheek and looked out the window. Jake found himself glancing at her through the rearview mirror.

Soon Y/N found herself standing in front of another hotel. The party hall, she presumed, where the gathering would be held. That would be the third time she was attending a party that year, to be able to witness human interaction.

Jay made sure to keep his hand wrapped around her forearm, subtly dragging her around as Jake followed them into a room lit by chandeliers and organised with circular tables- covered by white cloth, of course.

"Alright, listen," Jay held her at an arm's length, eyes sternly begging her to listen to his requests. "I need you to stay in one place. Where I can keep an easy eye on you," he blinked.

"Am I not allowed to have fun?" Y/N crooked a brow, a smile creeping up her cheeks. "Dance with the rest of the guests, maybe?"

"Jake will be with you at all times. I'm sure he can give you all the entertainment you need for the night," he clenched his jaw. Jake let out a hum, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Then why do you need to keep an eye on me?"

"Because I'm paranoid, Y/N," he said, rolling his eyes. "Just tell me where you'll be sitting. At least I'm letting you pick."

"Yeah, because that's being charitable," despite her annoyance, she looked around the room, eyes landing on the open bar with tall stools. She pointed in its direction. "There. You'll be able to see me from any corner and I'll at least be able to drink."

"Fine," he agreed. "Just don't get drunk. I expect to see you be able to walk by the end of the night."

Then he exchanged a promising nod with Jake, leaving the pair alone while he went away to act like a polite guest. Jake, after a moment of silence, offered Y/N his arm and she hesitantly looped in hers. He guided her to the bar and helped her sit on the stool.

She fixed her dress, one leg crossed on the other as she ordered champagne. "What would you like to have?" She turned to Jake, her earrings shining under the light.

"I can order for myself," he said, weaving his fingers together as he sat beside her.

"Too proud to let a girl speak for you, huh?" Y/N chuckled, wrapping her fingers around the drink that was being handed to her.

"Funny," Jake passed her an annoyed glance. He called for the bartender with a wave of two fingers, asking for a whiskey that was handed to him within seconds.

"Strong men only enjoy strong drinks, I guess," she mumbled, smirking as she brought the rim of her glass to her lips.

Jake scoffed. "You're full of opinions, aren't you?" He narrowed his eyes. "You don't know how to be nice to people?"

"What?" Y/N scoffed right back at him. "I've been stripped away of living my life and now I can't have emotions and opinions?"

Jake looked away, clenching his jaw and gripping his glass of whiskey. He wore his own set of rings, ones that strained against his skin and clanked against his glass.

"And please enlighten me as to why I have to be nice," she continued. "Have any of you been nice to me? Hence, do I owe any of you my kindness?"

"Fair enough," Jake let the words push past his teeth.

"That's what I thought," her lips frowned into a scowl as she sipped her champagne again. Upon looking at his defeated face, though, she recoiled. "But since my brother's forcing you to keep me company tonight, perhaps I should play nice."

Jake chuckled, involuntarily letting himself enjoy Y/N's humour. "Here I thought you didn't owe me your kindness," he cocked his head, hiding his smile with his glass of whiskey.

"Don't make me regret it," she tipped her glass towards him.

Jake hummed, nodding as he mustered up the courage to look at Y/N- his boss' sister, the same girl he wasn't allowed to cross paths with until the previous night. He smiled at her, pondering if striking up a conversation was a good idea.

If he was allowed to, he might as well let himself use his freedom to his advantage. Y/N was doing it, too, after all.

"Your life's always been this way, huh?" He asked, shamelessly showing his curiosity.

"What way?" She wondered, pushing her newly emptied glass away. Her fingers curled under his chin, propping her elbows on the counter.

"This," he pointed his finger at her, looking her up and down. "Controlled by your brother, denied of freedom," he listed.

Y/N pondered over his question while asking for a refill of champagne. She swirled her glass around, watching the bubbles fizz away. She cleared her throat, nostalgia filling her conscience.

"I used to be a wild girl while I was still in high school," she chuckled. "You know, typical high school parties, cheap beer and making mistakes?"

Jake nodded. "Then what drove Jay to treat you like this?" He cringed. "He pulled you out of school, didn't he?"

"You know, I thought he would have told you of all people the reason for his actions," she chuckled but continued explaining. "Yes, he pulled me out of school. He forced me to live in secrecy and whatnot," she shrugged.

"We're all just as clueless are you are," he shrugged back. "All we know is that you and your brother have an... Unconventional relationship."

"Unconventional doesn't even begin to explain it," she sipped her champagne. "He was forced into all of this, you know? The Mob, the violent mentality. With that came paranoia and the constant need to keep up his guard."

"You seem quite sympathetic towards him," he noticed.

"Maybe I am," she agreed. "But whatever he's been through doesn't excuse how he treats me," she insisted, pressing her finger to her chest.

"Right," Jake pursed his lips.

"His overprotective act just made me despise him a little. He ruined my life, after all," Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Of course," he let out a scoff, a slight grin taking over his features as he finished off his whiskey.

Y/N tilted her head, attempting to get a better glance at Jake. "What's so funny?" She asked, the same grin spreading on her lips.

The more she examined him, the more she realised how little she knew of him. Of any of them, for that matter. They lived under the same roof, travelled everywhere but the only information she gathered of them was by overhearing conversations. To be fair, her brother did ban them from interacting with her, regardless of how much he trusted them.

She came to realise that this was probably the closest she had to a conversation in a long time.

Jake, on the other hand, shook away the glee on his face when he looked over Y/N's shoulder, only to find Jay approaching them. He looked away, clenching his jaw and weaving his fingers together. Y/N's brows knitted together, confusion slapping her harder than a wave.

When Jay finally made himself known, her expression contorted into realisation. Brow raising, she watched him smile at her and Jake. "I see you've been enjoying yourselves so far," he said. "I hate to interrupt but I have a certain someone that was begging to meet you."

Beside him stood a woman that Y/N found much too familiar. Her auburn hair flowed past her shoulders, almond eyes shining with a smile as she looked at her.

"Pearl?" Y/N's eyes widened, excited as she started the woman up and down. She used to babysit her and her brother when she was still children, oblivious to the bad in the world.

Pearl was a reminder of her past, a sliver of naivety.

"Yeah, It's me," the woman fondly opened her arms and Y/N found herself leaping at the hug.

"My God, it's been years," Y/N gasped, holding her at an arm's length.

"I know, a lot has changed," Pearl enthused. "You look great, Y/N."

"You too," she agreed. "How have you been?"

"Good. Great," Pearl nodded. "I've got two kids, a great husband," she smiled at her, then craned her neck to smile at Jay.

Jake watched the scene unravel from behind with a refill of whiskey held between his fingers. He saw the way Jay licked his top teeth as Pearl smiled feverishly at him and that Y/N wasn't oblivious to the looks they shared. Unloyal she was, it was obvious.

Jay was quick to cut the reunion, standing between his sister and their once babysitter. "Nostalgia is a joy, isn't it?" He grinned. "Now, Pearl. I'll have a few words with my sister and then come find you. Go on now."

Pearl nodded, waving Y/N goodbye. "I'll be waiting," she said to Jay and breezed past them.

Y/N gaped at her brother, wide-eyed as she realised what she just witnessed. Jay raised a brow. "What?" He asked, holding his hands by his side.

"She's married," she reminded him. "She has two kids. And you want to sleep with her?"

"Since when did you have a say in my actions?" Jay jeered, completely careless towards her point. Y/N rolled her eyes, Jake scoffed and shook his head.

"Unbelievable," she cursed. "You're unbelievable."

"I know," her brother smirked, then strolled past her, leaving her alone with Jake again.

Y/N scoffed at him, returning to her stool while shaking her head out of disbelief. She didn't say anything, just thought to herself that this was probably the most eventful night she's had since her eighteenth birthday.

"He disappoints you, doesn't he?" Jake swirled around his whiskey, training his eyes on the way her mouth gaped.

"He has no self-respect, does he?" Y/N ran her fingers through her scalp, meddling with her hair as she hollered for more drinks- this time, wine.

"No, I guess not," he mumbled, too entranced by the anger that seemed to suit her so well. The way her brows furrowed and eyes narrowed, mouth parted and chest rising a little more than usual- Jake looked away.

For the rest of the night, he stripped her and himself of any interaction between them. The pair enjoyed their drinks, lost in their phones. A part of Jake hoped that she'd ask him for a dance or whine about how bored she was.

Maybe she was too proud to ask for anything else, maybe she was just angry towards her intolerable brother.

It was proven to be the latter when Jay came striding back, hair tousled and shirt wrinkled from his controversial expedition. "You're insufferable," she said to him

"Don't ruin my mood," he dismissed her, and it was back to being ignored by her brother.

She was taken back to the hotel, her diner waiting in her room along with Sunoo and Jungwon. She quietly changed her clothes, freshened up before eating and replayed the events of the night over and over again.

She thought about Pearl and Jay and Jake- Oh, especially Jake and the conversation she had with him. She found herself craving more conversations, desperate for an escape. But, wishing for leisure was like wishing for a unicorn.

She got over it by tomorrow, accepting her loneliness once again while she ate pancakes in bed while her brother and his friends were enjoying breakfast together. She swore she could hear laughter echoing from the banquet hall, overpowering the melodies she had playing on her phone.

A knock on her door, however, was not what she expected. She didn't have to get out of bed and open the door, though that was the whole point of knocking. It opened on its own and Jake's head peaked through the crack, his hand gripping the doorknob.

Y/N immediately sat straight, duvet pooling at her waist as she turned off her music and put away her pancakes. A breath left her lips as he entered her room, followed by her brother and Sunghoon.

"What a surprise," she mumbled, fisting the duvet as the three boys stood around her bed, one on each side.

"Good morning," her brother offered her a curt smile and she nodded at him.

"Am I in trouble?" She almost laughed. "Or do you need something?"

"I just need to talk to you," Jay rolled his eyes. "Andrei has been asking to see you for a while."

"And who's Andrei?"

Jay smiled viciously, realising that his sister was curious, giving him the attention he expected. "He's a work buddy of mine, it's not important."

"Seems like it is," she furrowed her brows. "He wants to see me, after all," she argued.

"Just listen, will you?" He scoffed. "I'm attending a meeting of his and he wants you there."

"Then why are these two here?"

"They will be taking care of you. I'd much rather have these two look after you while the rest of the boys attend the meeting with me."

Jake pursed his lips, nodding as he listened. Sunghoon passed Y/N a stoic glance from the corner of his eyes. She gulped, covering up her second guesses with a furrow of her brows.

"So, what? I'm just gonna sit outside while you have all the fun?" She chuckled half-heartedly, a hesitant smile gracing her face.

"I don't call this fun, Y/N" Jay seethed. "You've been popular around my colleagues and I'd rather not know the reason. The least you can do is not ask questions and follow simple orders."

"I am not one of your playthings to follow orders, Jay," she seethed back. "It's early in the morning, I don't need you snapping at me."

Jay, with a smile that screamed anything but good, crouched beside her bed, face inching towards hers. "I can say the same," he chuckled, two puffs of air escaping his lungs.

Y/N glared at him, jaw clenching as she let go of her duvet and crossed her arms. "You're insatiable," she growled.

"I know," Jay smirked. "Now get out of bed, get ready and change into something presentable," he stood to his feet, stomping towards her suitcases and flinging them open. Y/N followed him, jumping out of her bed and yelping.

"I'm obviously not going to show up in my pyjamas!" She yelled. "Now, stop going through my stuff and get out!"

She swore she heard Jake and Sunghoon stifle their laughter as Y/N pushed her brother towards her door. Their hands covered their mouths, unsubtly looking away.

"Out!" She continued yelling. "The lot of you!"

"I'm only messing with you," her brother grinned at her as he stepped out the door, ushering the two other boys with his hand.

"You show brotherly affection at the worse times," she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, Jake and Sunghoon strolling past her and out the door.

Jay shook his head, crooning. "Be ready before I get annoyed."

Y/N slammed the door in his face.

Sighing, she brushed her hands down her face as silence consumed her once again. She strolled around her room, taking ten minutes to waste before ultimately disappearing into the bathroom.

It was rather dramatic of her to saunter out of her door in a little red dress, hands shifting her hair to one side of her shoulder. The carpet muffled the click of her heels and at the end of the hall stood Jake like a knight in tailored clothes.

His presence took her by surprise and her lips parted as she approached him. "Jay told me to get you," he said and she curtly nodded.

Jake walked her downstairs, an awkward silence following their path as Y/N looked ahead; he fought to steal glances of her. Then they entered the elevator, metal doors sliding behind them.

He cleared his throat, licking his lips. "Had a good breakfast?"

"Of course," she answered nonchalantly, eyes trained forward. It was a lie, obviously, but neither of them felt the need to acknowledge it.

She was piled into a car with him, Jay and Sunghoon. She didn't say a word, didn't seem like she wanted to either. Her earphones stuck to her ear, feet bobbing up and down to an unknown beat.

Jake, despite fighting his urges, had his eyes trained on her arms, legs, exposed neck and collarbones- any exposed skin he could get his gaze on, gaping from the corner of his eyes. He'd surely get in trouble if Jay caught his subtle glances.

An exhausted sigh left her lips when they reached her destination, her shoulders slumping as she stood in front of a rather tall building. "Come on, now," Jay had clasped his hand around her arm and dragged her inside- Jake and Sunghoon followed.

"I can walk on my own," she complained, a breathy whine escaping her throat as they entered a meeting room. Empty, it was- a long table surrounded by cushioned chairs for privileged backs to lean on.

"I know, I just don't want my baby sister to get lost in this mess," he taunted. "So, listen carefully and just follow the rules, yeah?"

"You make this sound like mission impossible," she groaned. "Why are you making this such a big deal? I'm just meeting one of your colleagues," she argued, tilting her head to the side.

"You're meeting a colleague that's killed people for fun," he glared. "As surprising as it may seem, I'd like to keep you alive."

"You've killed people too. What's the difference?" She almost chuckled, disbelief taking over her features.

Jay had the same reaction. "The difference is that I'm your brother," he reminded. "Now, can you just listen?"

"Fine. I'm listening."

"Good," he started. "When Andrei comes in, he's gonna want to see you. obviously. All you have to do is behave, smile like the little princess you are and minimally answer all his questions. Simple enough, right?" He shrugged his shoulders, a sarcastic smile appearing on his face.

"Right," Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Exactly," he enthused. "When he's done talking to you, Jake will take you away and you'll wait in the bar, right across from this room," he pointed his arm out the door, towards the area he was referring to. "Sunghoon will join you later."

"Great plan, brother," it was clearly a sardonic compliment. "Keeping me alive and all... You deserve an award."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Y/N," he sighed and she furrowed her brows, telling him that she wasn't joking either.

Her reaction went ignored when the door to the meeting room flung open, revealing a man taller than the three boys Y/N was surrounded by. She presumed it was Andrei and he did fit the mental image she created for him. Tall, as old as her dad and holding pride as he walked in.

All three boys curtly turned their heads towards him, bodies stiffening as they greeted him with their hands meeting in the middle. "It's good to see you boys," he smiled.

"It's good to see you too, boss," Jay exhaled, letting go of his hand. Y/N lightly gaped at her brother, confused by his choice of... Words.

Andrew crisply turned around, surprised when his gaze was met with the presence of Y/N. He bellowed out a chuckle, brows raising as his arms extending past him. "My, God!" He cheered. "I didn't actually think you'd bring her," he directed towards Jay.

"I thought it'd be nice if you took a trip down memory lane," Jay offered, shrugging.

"It's been years since I've seen you!" Then he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her into a hug.

Y/N was taken by surprise as her cheek pressed into the man's chest. She didn't know what he was talking about, she didn't know what either of them were talking about and Andrei sure as hell didn't seem like he was the murderous type. Towards her, at least. So the confusion stayed on her face when she was released from the embrace.

"Do you remember me, sweetheart?" Andrei asked.

Y/N shook her head, almost embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she chuckled.

"Oh, I don't blame you," he waved it off. "You were a baby the last time I saw you, clinging to your father's side," he smiled warmly, a stark contrast to the description she received of him.

"I'm sure she'll remember if our dad gives her a little push towards remembering," Jay smiled sarcastically again. Andrei agreed with a laugh.

"Regardless," Andrei started. "It's good to see you, Y/N."

"Goodie," Jay clasped his hands together, ushering at Jake with a nod. "I'd rather have my sister out of here before the rest arrive. Wouldn't want her to die of boredom," he took two steps towards his sister, a hand pressing on her back as Jake stood on her other side.

Andrei raised a questioning brow, turning to Sunghoon who answered with an inattentive shrug.

"I have so many questions," Y/N whispered to Jay.

"I'll answer them later," Jay added. "If I feel like it."

Then, Jake was guiding her away to the bar. It was like the previous night all over again as he helped her sit on one of the chairs, keeping the meeting room out of her sight. Y/N dryly laughed, scratching the corner of her brow with her pinky.

"He calls this entertainment," the span of her palms spread across her thighs.

"He's just being protective," Jake debated.

Y/N shook her head again, chuckling out of disbelief. She ordered a glass of wine- a whiskey for Jake with it. The thought of being granted recreation was completely thrown out the window as her eyes met with Jake's.

She scoffed. "You'd think that the right-hand man has to sit through every meeting," she commented.

"There's a lot more to my job than attending meetings and tending to your brother's requests," he chuckled. "Besides, my presence isn't required. We already know what the meeting's about."

"Wow," Y/N leaned her head on her shoulder. "There's a lot about my brother I'm unaware of," she stated. With that, it sounded like she affirmed it.

"I'm sure he'll give you your answers when he thinks your ready."

"I'm eighteen and he's been dragging me along for three years. I think I'm ready," she sipped her wine, eyes narrowed at the sight of Jake sighing. Her shoulders slumped again. "You know," she trailed. "Jay treats you more like a sibling than me."

Jake's eyes widened, almost coughed up his whiskey as he gawked at her. Her statement came out nonchalantly, almost like she'd been waiting to finally say it.

At his reaction, Y/N laughed, waving her hand in front of her as she put away her wine. "No, no," he coaxed. "Don't freak out, I'm just saying," she grinned.

He wiped the corner of his mouth with the side of his hand. "You don't just say things like that," he scoffed.

"Eh," she shrugged a shoulder. "Am I wrong?"

"You are," he insisted.

"You could be wrong, too," she reasoned. "But then again, he wouldn't be treating the lot of you like playthings if he actually cared," Y/N raised her brows, hiding her expression by drinking her wine.

"Playthings," he echoed. "You throw that phrase around a lot- what do you even mean by it?" He weaved his fingers together, perfectly styled hair falling over his left eye, curiosity taking over his duty.

"Well," Y/N pondered, swirling around her wine glass. "You let him boss you around, use you, made sure that your sole purpose was to serve him-"

"Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there," he silenced her with a wave of her hand and she couldn't help but realise how similar he was to her brother. She exhaled, giving up. "You sound really stupid."

"Is that so?" She hummed. "Please enlighten me," she squinted her eyes, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

"He doesn't use us or boss us around," he waved around his fingers, body language suddenly animated. "You think he's some sort of monster and I don't blame you for it but he cares, Y/N. He just shows it in a messed up way," he crossed one leg over the other, finishing his whiskey in one gulp.

"I feel very cared for," she rolled her eyes.

Y/N wasn't going to admit the pit she felt in her chest, a rock of disgust and jealousy churning her stomach, making her abandon her wine. It stung to know that he treated his friends better than he treated his own sister.

"Protect me, my ass," she mumbled, rolling her head and looking past Jake's shoulder.

Heeseung, Niki, Jungwon and Sunoo walked down the hall, leading a small crowd into the meeting room. Her fingers drummed against the counter, lips pursing as she pondered.

"Listen," she heard Jake sigh. "I know it stings but he cares for you. More than any of us. Hence the overprotective act he puts on," he coaxed.

"Act?" She huffed. "Was that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I mean, did it work?" He tried, clearly getting a laugh out of her.

"No."

"Fair," he pursed his lips. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"We don't even know each other," she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, pointing between themselves.

"So?" He asked. "We can get to know each other now?" He offered.

"Is that allowed?"

Jake smirked, tracing his tongue over his teeth. "I'll let you in on a secret," he whispered, leaning closer to her for dramatic effect. "Your brother trusts me more than anyone, which means he trusts me around you more than Jungwon or Sunoo."

Y/N raised a brow, smirking back. "Which means what?"

"He doesn't mind me interacting with you," he let out. "I've always been looking out for you. Longer than Sunoo and Jungwon."

She gaped at his confession, a shiver of shock running down her spine. "How am I only finding out about this now?" She inquired.

He shrugged. "I told you. There's a lot more to being the right-hand man than you think," he grinned. "Plus, he knows you're going crazy. That's why he needs me to tag along with him if he's bringing you," he explained.

"And here I thought my day was ruined," she enthused, finding it in her to finish her abandoned wine. "So Jungwon and Sunoo aren't my bodyguards anymore?"

"I guess you could say that," he said. "They're not gonna be locked in your room with you all day. They have other work to tend to for now is all I know. And I'll be looking after you when you need to be."

With the new information that was practically being fed to her, Y/N felt a rush of relief wash over her. "I can be alone in my room now," she gushed.

"Yeah," Jake chuckled, nodding.

She was still being babied, she knew. But the little splinter of freedom she was being given gave her a little hope. Maybe this was just the beginning of a better future, maybe Jay was realising how unfair he had always been. Regardless, she still felt happy and confident.

Hopefully, nothing would burst that bubble.

"And, by the way," he added. "You didn't hear any of this from me."

"Of course," she grinned and Jake found his hand moving towards hers, cupping it right on top of her knuckles. Y/N didn't oppose it, she let his contact be the big red bow to her good day.

Jake thought her skin was warm. He thought the sight of their hands touching was more than just a pretty picture. He thought he wanted to hold her hand for longer than he'd like. He spent more than a couple of years watching over her like a fairy godmother- or guardian angel, whatever it was they called them these days. This was probably the last thing he expected, but it happened.

He wished for the moment to last a little longer, but Y/N's face contorted into realisation, her gaze moving past his shoulder. She slipped her hand away from his, clearing her throat and dusting her dress as Sunghoon stood in front of them, the same stoic expression gracing his expression.

"The meeting's almost over. Jay should be out soon," he informed and Y/N nodded, pulling her lips to the side.

Before Sunghoon could make himself comfortable on one of the stools and enjoy himself a drink, Jay was striding towards them. With his hands balled into fists, his arms swung as he approached them.

Y/N found it in herself to smile at her brother, head innocently tilting as he looked at her with confusion. "What?" He asked. "What's so amusing? Why are you smiling?" He wondered, looking between her and Jake.

"Am I not allowed to smile?" She blinked innocently.

"You don't smile for no reason," he pointed out, then rolled his eyes. "Where's the angry remark I usually get?"

Jake and Sunghoon exchanged glances.

"Don't be a bore, Jay," Y/N chuckled. "I'm just excited to ask you those questions I was talking about earlier."

Jay sucked in a breath, face relaxing as realisation washed over him. He glanced at the ceiling, then at the ground, helplessly sighing. He only realised just how much his sister was going to pester him.

"Let's just go, shall we?" He pursed his lips.

Jay grabbed her forearm, smoothly dragging her out of her stool and past the hallway, all the way down to the ground floor. Y/N let him, yet curious questions tumbled out of her mouth, none stop. By the time they reached the car, Jay was annoyed.

He ushered Jake and Sunghoon to get in the car as he held Y/N by the arm, glaring at her until she shut up and gave him a reaction deemed serious enough. "What do you want from me?" He fumed.

Y/N took a deep breath, throwing away the questions she had on Andrei, or her parents or about the business he leads. Instead, she pursed her lips into a smile. "I just want you to be my brother," she freely admitted.

"I am your brother."

"But you don't act like one!" She argued. "I just want you to let me live my life and be happy when I find happiness. I want you to let me explore the places you drag me to, let me interact with people," she listed breathlessly, hope filling her voice.

"Y/N, you know how dangerous it is to just let you wander," he sighed. "I'm not willing to take that risk."

Her tongue poked her cheek as her brother looked away, eyes frantically blinking as a wind blew past them. "Okay, then Jake can follow me around while I go wandering," she offered. "You trust him, and he keeps me safe. I'll be a good girl and won't talk to strangers."

Jay immediately let out a chuckle. "What did you and Jake talk about while I was gone?"

Her brows furrowed, lips forced into a frown. "What? We didn't talk," she insisted. "it was more of a chat. And he didn't exactly tell me anything."

With that, Jay pondered, hands resting on his hips as he looked his sister up and down. He sighed defeatedly. "Fine," he said. "I'm not going to let you wander all by yourself. You can stay in your room alone and do whatever you want but when you're outside, you're either with me or him. Understood?"

Y/N couldn't help the smile that reached her eyes, stretching her cheeks and showing her teeth. She'd jump up and down if she could. "Understood," she said to him.

"Good," he nodded. "I trust him enough to know that he'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. So, make friends with him or something, I don't know. I'm only letting you do this because I don't want you going crazy."

"I know," she nodded, lovingly looking at her brother who had his guard down. "Thank you, brother."

"Don't make me regret this," he warned and she was being piled into the car, sitting in the back seat with Jake.

As Sunghoon started driving, Jake managed to catch Y/N's attention. He curiously nodded at her, silently asking what she was smiling about. She only shrugged at him and looked away, hands resting on the exposed skin of her knee.

She was alone when she reached her, a silence she accompanied on her own. She starting squealing out of joy, skipping towards the bathroom with a smile that refused to leave her face. Music blasted through her phone and she shamelessly sang along.

Dinner was sent to her room later in the night and she happily located herself on the bed, duvet pooling at her waist as the TV played a random movie she'd never watched or understood. Nevertheless, she watched intently, wide eyes scanning across the subtitles as she stuffed her mouth with carbonara pasta.

She didn't cross paths with her brother since their merry little conversation. And neither did she expect to see him or any of his friends. But her door creaked open, and a familiar set of fingers adorned with a familiar set of rings held the door frame and Y/N was wiping her mouth and placing her plate on a table.

Deja vu washed over her.

"Jake?" She raised a brow as he entered the room without an invitation, slowly and softly clicking the door closed behind him.

Jake gazed at her with doe-eyes, filled with some amount of hope and desperation. His lips crooned into a sheepish smile as his fingers laced together in front of him. "When I said I wanted us to get to know each other, I meant it."

Y/N smiled involuntarily, blinking twice as Jake took two steps towards her bed. She had to admit, the conversation she had with him was forgotten about, overshadowed by the satisfaction of her new predicament.

For starters, she didn't know if Jake alone was allowed in there. She didn't know how her brother would react if he found out he was in her room. Bending and breaking the rules so early into freedom wasn't the best idea.

But what the hell did she know? She let him walk right up to her.

"I don't know why but something in me thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into your room," he chuckled, pulling a chair towards the foot of her bed. He sat comfortably, eyes trained on the sight of Y/N pulling the duvet to her shoulders.

"He knows you won't hurt me," she waved it off. "He made it quite clear that he trusts you with his life. Ergo, he trusts you enough to keep my life in the palm of your hands. You chatting with me alone in my room shouldn't bother him-"

"-But Jay's ego is so big that if he finds me here, he'll wig out," he gladly finished for her, waving around his fingers as he spoke. "He told me about the small changes he allowed."

"Exactly," she laughed.

"Were you just saying all that to convince yourself that it's fine for me to be here?" He inquired, smirking

"Maybe," she trailed. "I just don't want to mess up, cross a line, have Jay find out and wig out and treat me like a doll again. You know?" She shrugged, belting out her explanation with a single breath.

"I know," Jake nodded, giving her a comforting smile.

Y/N had to wonder why she was letting this happening, why she found herself enjoying his company and the conversations he started up. She could have easily chalked it up to the lack of human interaction during all these years. She could have easily chalked it up to the desperation of needing valid attention.

He was sitting in front of her, with the first two buttons of his shirt undone, his fingers trailing up and down his thigh and he listened and spoke. He had a perfectly charming smile and a perfectly carved nose. He had eyes shaped like pointy almonds and his laugh- Y/N loved making him laugh.

If Y/N could box up his laugher and get lost in how ridiculously restricted it sounded, she would. Perhaps it was his laughter that put her to sleep that night, unaware of just how tired the adrenaline rush made her.

But it was the same adrenaline rush and the absence of laughter that woke her up hours later. Her head lifted off her pillow with a gasp, hands fisting her duvet when she realised Jake was still in her room, sleeping in the chair with his head thrown back.

The sight of him at peace didn't stop her from gaping, though. "Oh, my God," she said, then repeated herself a little louder. That was enough for Jake's eyes to shoot open and look around in complete confusion.

"What?" He rubbed his eyes with his palms, fingers scaling through his scalp as he fixed his hair. "What is it?" He mumbled.

Y/N squinted her eyes, forgetting for a split second that he wasn't supposed to be in her room. "How is it that your hair is still perfect?" Her lips parted while she dramatically parted.

Jake's face fell, a disinterest washing over him as he stared at the messily clothed girl in front of him. "You were freaking out a second ago and now this?" He raised his brows.

"Oh, yeah!" Her fingers buried in her face. "You're still in my room!" She reminded him like it was no big deal but the clench of her jaw betrayed her.

The warm Italian sun was rising and shone its light through the curtains. Jake found himself flinching at the hasty realisation, jumping out of his chair and straightening his shirt. "Shit," he cursed. "I'm not supposed to be here."

"No shit Sherlock!" Y/N scoffed, pushing the duvet off her legs and trudging towards the door. "Go back to your room before Jay wakes up," she opened the door and Jake gladly followed with fisted hands.

"You think he'll find out?" He stood at the entrance, hands holding the doorframe.

"He will if you stay any longer," she closed the door as a scoff left his lips. "I'm sorry you had to sleep on a chair!" Then the door clicked shut and her back leaned on the door, a hand running down her face.

It was then she realised the grim on her face and stench on her skin but she didn't find it in her to shower. Instead, she mulled over the number of ways the rest of the day could go while sitting on the edge of her bed and fixating on the chair Jake had slept on.

Now that she thought about it, her hotel room wasn't as spacious as she thought. The ivory carpet was comfortable, and the golden lights seemed to brighten the bathroom more than the actual room. The bed was large and had pillows cosier than the ones back at home- Jay's house.

All of that didn't matter because today would be the day she would venture the streets of Naples and eat something other than five-star dishes for every meal. The thought brought a smile on her face, an exhausted smile but a smile nonetheless.

When she moved towards her suitcases, her door opened again and her face fell, lips pursing. "Good morning," she heard her brother say, his sarcastic smile could be heard from a mile away.

"Morning," she sang, the same sarcastic smile spreading on her face as she turned to look at him.

"You're chipper," he commented. "Why?"

He was oblivious to the fact that his trusted, loyal and honest right-hand man was previously in the room.

"Because I have a request that I know you won't turn down," she smiled ignorantly, a sparkle in her eyes and Jay strolled towards her, rolling his eyes.

"Ah, yes," he mused. "Last day in Italy and the first day of filling your dream of getting the small sliver of freedom you've been chasing," he taunted, holding up his thumb and index as he described what he meant by small.

"Come on, don't ruin my mood," she slapped his chest with the back of her hand. "When are we leaving, anyway?"

"Late in the evening," he informed. "So whatever activities you have planned for today, they better fit the schedule," he added.

"Don't worry," she said. "I just want to go shopping and try pastries," she shrugged. Jay's face contorted into mild disgust.

"You really are miserable," he commented, though it was obvious to be passed on as a joke.

"No, I just want to enjoy the little things in life," she insisted.

"Please, don't become a romantic," he whined, his hand raising to hover in front of him.

"I've always been a romantic," she snarled. "You'd know that if you bothered to spend a little time with me."

"You'd be surprised," he rolled his eyes. "Just don't drag Jake into your romantic fantasies," he waved his hand.

"You're not funny," she rolled her eyes. "And for someone who trusts Jake so much, you really have a way of being subtle about your concerns," she pointed out. "Why?"

"Doesn't matter how much I trust him," Jay replied. "I know you and I know you'll do something stupid and drag him into it with you. Why did you think I ordered Sunoo and Jungwon never to talk to you?"

"Seriously?" She scoffed, mouth gaping. "You thought I'd fall in love with them or something?"

"No," he trailed. "But that might as well happen with Jake."

"Wow, you trust him so much," he taunted, drawling out her sarcasm.

"Seriously, Y/N. Don't make me regret being lenient," he scrunched up his face. "And it's weird enough that I'm having a conversation about love and emotions with you," he cringed while pulling out his phone. Y/N assumed he was going to call Jake.

She agreed with a tut, hands reaching into her suitcase to find new clothes to wear. Curiosity washed over her and she looked at her brother through her lashes. She licked her lips. "What would you do if something did happen between him and me?"

Her question was unacknowledged because he already had his phone pressed to his ear.

When Jake entered his hotel room, he wasn't expecting Heeseung and Sunghoon to be sitting on his bed, with looks of what he thought was concern on their faces. He furrowed his brows and tilted his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," Heeseung replied. "You're supposed to join us for breakfast in a couple minutes, Jake. Where were you?"

Heeseung and Sunghoon glared at him, though it was unintentional. Jake looked between the pair with hard eyes, contemplating if he could be honest with them. They'd find out, anyway. One way or another.

"I was in Y/N's room the entire night," he confessed.

Heeseung's jaw fell and he stood up, stepping towards Jake. "What, are you her new bodyguard?"

"I guess you could say that," he shrugged. "But I wasn't supposed to be in her room."

That was enough to have Heeseung leering at him, his hands reaching to fist his collar and dared to threaten him. "Listen," he seethed. "I know Jay won't literally kill us- his friends- when we mess up but his sister is a different story. He will explode if he finds out-"

"Can you calm down?" Jake pushed Heeseung off of himself, just as annoyed as he was. "I was just in there talking to her," he defended.

"Without his permission," Heeseung added.

"He won't find out unless one of us tells him," Jake rolled his eyes.

Heeseung looked over his shoulder to connect his eyes with Sunghoon. The pair were worried, for Jake and themselves. They'd keep a secret, no questions asked, but it wouldn't take long for the situation to unravel and become something more than a mess.

"You're gonna get caught up with her," Heeseung warned.

Jake tutted, then scoffed as his hands rested on his hips. "I already am!" He exclaimed. "I've been watching over her for years, I know all her schedules and the books she reads like the back of my hand. Can you honestly blame me for wanting to know more?"

Sunghoon sighed, leaving the bed and strolling towards Jake with furrowed brows. "No, I guess we can't blame you," he agreed, but the twitch on his mouth told him that he had more to say. "But whatever you do, don't get yourself in trouble. Don't throw around Jay's trust. Don't fuck yourself over."

He clapped Jake's shoulder twice and pursed his lips. Before the conversation could continue further, Jake's phone rang and he rushed to get it out of his pocket. "It's Jay," he mumbled but a part of him knew that he wasn't in trouble. He ushered the pair in front of him to calm down when he pressed the phone to his ear.

"Are you awake?" Jay's voice rang loud and clear.

"Wide awake," Jake answered.

"Good," Jay said. "Be ready in thirty minutes. My sister wants to go shopping and as much as I dread it, I'll still have to comply."

Jake found himself chuckling and the boys in front of him looked at him, confused. "Where am I supposed to take her?"

"I don't know, a mall? Some shopping street?" The confusion in Jake's voice was hard to miss. No one could blame him, though. He didn't know the first thing about letting his sister have fun. "She said something about enjoying the little things in life."

"Right, got it," Jake nodded and then hung up the phone.

He ushered Heeseung and Sunghoon out of his room after explaining the schedule for his day. The two boys glanced warningly at him for the last time before Jake shut the door and took a minute to himself. He leaned his back on the door, hands covering his face as he groaned and cursed at himself.

The next half an hour went past like a blur- he wore a shirt similar to the one he wore prior, black pants and leather shoes, a watch to top it all off. When he entered Y/N's room, he walked into the sight of Jay handing Y/N his credit card. They then turned to him and bid him their greetings.

The rest went downhill from there because he found himself driving to the nearest shopping street. Y/N thought malls were suffocating. He found himself glancing at her while she sat beside him, wanting to reach over and play with the end of her sundress.

Then he found himself carrying at least five shopping bags, filled with cheap dresses and tacky jewellery that looked beautiful regardless- and would certainly look stunning on her. She laughed and giggled and twirled as she skipped down the rocky pavement with a newly bought sun hat on her head. It matched her outfit to a tea.

Jake followed her without complaints. He was annoyed, yes, but that didn't stop him from smiling at how happy she was. It was like she was on top of the world, exploring for the first time in her life.

"You know, Jay was being nice to me this morning?" She said while walking beside him, a few shopping bags hanging from her forearm too. "Sort of."

"Oh, yeah?" Jake smirked as she nodded enthusiastically. "What'd he say?"

"Well, he was being his usual overprotective self and all," she started. "But in like a nice way. A funny, trying to keep it loose kind of way. He was talking about love and all with me," she glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, waiting for a response.

"I knew he was trying to be open with you but I wasn't expecting that," he chuckled. "What'd he say exactly?"

"To not drag you into a mess," she responded nonchalantly with a shrug.

"Me?" He asked, blinking with surprise as he gripped the shopping bags tighter. "Odd," he commented.

"I know," she crooned. "He thinks I'll fall in love with you or something. I don't blame him for thinking that but Jay saying it out loud is just weird."

Jake stared at the ground, swallowing a lump in his throat as he nodded. His hair covered his forehead, rosy red lips threatening to fall into a frown. "Yeah," he said. "Weird."

Y/N laughed, apologising for even bringing up the topic and skipping past him and into a cafe. He followed with a groan, padding his way past the door and letting her order whatever it was that she was craving- a cheesecake, blonde brownies and two cups of coffee, one for her and the other for him.

They found a booth somewhere in the corner, against the yellow bricked wall and beside a few potted plants. They rid themselves of the weight of the shopping bags and sat across from each other, sipping their coffees and enjoying the warm blonde brownies and cheesecake.

"Did you enjoy today?" Jake asked while he jabbed his fork into Y/N's cheesecake.

"Very much," she grinned, chewing on a mouthful of brownies. "I plan on dragging Jay into my room so I can do a little haul for him. I'm sure he'll love it."

"He'll suffer," he laughed and as did she, agreeing.

"I'm just trying to bond with him," she reasoned. "He'll go back to being cold-hearted soon but I plan on breaking that shell," she smiled proudly.

"Well, good luck on that," Jake offered. "I'm sure he'll come around."

"Hopefully," she groaned. "I want to have a good relationship with someone from my family," she grabbed a fork and dug at her cheesecake too.

"You don't talk to your parents?"

"Nope," she shook her head. "Jay acts like a messenger between them and me. They basically just handed me over to Jay and said figure it out. I have no idea why but I'm honestly better off," she explained.

Jake didn't understand how none of what she said bothered her. Or maybe it did, the indifference of her demeanour just hid it. He didn't know. "Why are you better off?"

"Because," she started, running her tongue across her teeth. "My parents are worse than my brother. Jay at least tries to keep me happy. My parents would just throw me in some room," she cringed.

"They can't be that bad," Jake furrowed his brows.

"Fine, maybe I exaggerated," she confessed. "But they still don't care."

"I didn't know all that," he waved his at her.

"Oh, really?" Y/N raised her brows in surprise. "I thought Jay would have told all of you."

"He never talks about it."

"Don't blame him for that either."

"Yeah," he agreed, shaking the great of his questions out of his head. He blinked and wet his lips. "What else do you have planned for the day?"

"Nothing else, I had my fair share of fun," she finished the cheesecake. "Why? Do you have something in mind?"

As a matter of fact, Jake did have something in mind. He was going to take her to Museo Cappella Sansevero which wasn't far from where they currently were. He was going to take her to an aquarium as well and call it an unofficial date.

He'd tell Sunghoon all about how she enjoyed it and how he made her laugh. He'd brag about how he spent an entire day with a pretty girl in a building surrounded by ancient paintings and sculptures and he'd gloat about how he took pictures of her in front of fish tanks.

Well, the fantasy was thrown out the window as the image of Jay's livid face fogged his head. It was only then that he realised the idea of an unofficial date was foolish. Selfish, too. Y/N might as well have laughed in his face if he carried it out.

So he just shook his head, a tight-lipped smile answering her question. "We don't have much time before the evening," he reminded. "We should get back soon so you can torture your brother with your haul."

That is exactly what she did. She dragged Jay out of his room and into hers and forced him to sit on a chair. Despite his groans, objections and complaints, he still sat with his fingers weaved on his thigh. Y/N put on a parade, showing him the various tops, skirts and dresses she bought.

Jay thought the necklaces and earrings she got were garish. Y/N silenced him and continued gushing. She talked about how warm the sun was and how she talked to the shop owners with the little Italian she learnt in her free time. She told him about the lovely cafe where she and Jake enjoyed a cheesecake and coffee.

"What, like a date?" Was Jay's response and Y/N threw a pillow at his disappointed face.

"The thought didn't cross my mind," she said. "Even if I do end up falling for your right-hand man, you should allow it because you trust him so much-"

"One, don't cross the line. It doesn't matter how much I trust him, my ego will still get hurt," he cut her off. "Two, Jake shall not find out about this conversation," he held up two fingers. "Three, I'm never talking about love with you ever again. And four, I'm trying to be a better brother so let me."

Y/N laughed at him, collapsing on her bed as Jay chuckled with her. They couldn't remember the last time they laughed together, a moment where anger or arguments didn't come into the way of siblingly bonding.

That smile stayed on her face as she was being guided around the airport, arm linked with her stoic-faced brother who gently sat her down beside him in the charted flight. They didn't talk. In fact, the siblings enjoyed the comfortable silence between them as one read a magazine and the other sat with earphones plugged.

When they reached home, Jay told her to sleep in her room while he and the rest of the boys dealt with something he wouldn't tell her about. "You can worry about unpacking tomorrow," he said and she fell right to sleep.

She thought her sleep schedule would start messing up if she kept waking up in the middle of the night. A creak made her groan awake and as she opened her eyes, she was met by the sight of Jake and his innocent smile.

Y/N tiredly smiled back at him, mumbling out a question that neither of them could comprehend. He chuckled, allowing his fingers to brush away the hair from her face. She rubbed her eyes, pushing herself to lean against her headboard. "What are you doing here?" She murmured.

"Thought I'd wish you a good night," he whispered back, crouching down to get a better look at her.

"How sweet of you," she cracked a smile, leaning into the fingers that rested against her cheek. "But you didn't have to wake me up."

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to," he coyed. "I'm not supposed to be here," he said, reminding himself rather than informing her.

"No, no you're not," she agreed. "But now you woke me up and I won't fall back asleep any time soon," her expression fell somewhere between a pout and frown and Jake found himself swooning.

"I can't sleep either," he shrugged a shoulder, tracing his fingers down her jaw.

Y/N doesn't respond to that, just smiled warmly and moved enough to push away her blanket. Jake looked at her a little confused, then questioningly but complied anyway. He crawled beside her, meekly moving his arm over her shoulders and she gladly got comfortable.

"If only Jay could see this," she snorted. "He'd be furious if he saw his right-hand man putting his sister to sleep."

"Which is why you need to speak a little more quietly," he uttered, but the pair laughed anyway. They struggled to hold it in and ended up in a laughing mess. But they were quiet enough. Nobody woke up.

"Sorry," she chuckled. "My sense of humour is broken."

"Pretty obvious."

Y/N laughed at that again, one hand covering her mouth and the other lightly hitting his chest. "Oh, my God," she snickered. "Not laughing is harder than I thought."

"Tell me about it," Jake took a deep breath. "But it's better than lying awake all night with nothing to do, right?"

"Exactly."

The pair turn towards each other, eyes connecting for only a second, smiles stretching to create a memory that would probably be burnt into their heads. Y/N looks away first, mostly because it was an involuntary action but also because she wasn't ready to break another rule in one night. Jake took a second, eyes easily gliding down the bridge of her nose to the turn of her jaw. Then he looked away too.

It was quiet for exactly twenty seconds where Y/N thought about what conversation to strike up next while Jake's head was riddled with ifs and possibilities of what would happen if Jay walked into her room. It was probably not the best thing to think about while her head was nestling into his arm.

"Why do you think Jay is trying to be better?"

Turns out, Y/N was thinking about the same person. A different reason but the same person, regardless. Fear was what she felt, a small dent in her stomach bringing her nerves. She knew what she was doing was wrong, to be letting herself feel so comfortable lying next to someone she acquainted with for less than a week.

"Because you asked him," he said, though he wasn't so sure of his answer. "He probably realised that he can't control you for the rest of your life."

"I hope so," she sighed. "I'm turning nineteen soon, I'd like to build a life for myself," she stated.

Jake shifts his head, eyes glancing at her hair. "When?"

"In a week," she said, fingers reaching to play with the ends of her hair.

"Oh, Yeah," he breathed. "I remember."

"You do?" Y/N shifted her head too and Jake's chin touches her hair. She doesn't seem to give a response to the contact but a swarm of butterflies rushed to his stomach and a chill ran down his spine- stark emotions colliding within his body.

"Of course," he swallowed. "Jay always reminds us. He gets excited."

"Really?" Her heart swelled, a warmth wrapping around her as she realised just how much her brother actually cared. "I didn't know."

"He didn't want you to know," he said. "He'd be embarrassed if he found out you knew."

"I can keep a secret," she grinned.

Jake grinned back, tightly. "What presents does he give you?"

"A ring," she simply said and Jake's brows lifted at the mundane response.

"A ring?"

"Yeah," she nodded enthusiastically. "Every year since I was three, he buys me a ring for every birthday. I'm going to get the sixteenth one next week," she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "I'm only realising how much he cares."

"I don't blame you," he cleared his throat, slumping further into her bed. That made her head fall against his shoulder- he had no complaints. "The bad parts overshadow the good parts, most of the time."

"That's true," she nodded.

They were both tired, it was becoming rather obvious. Y/N smacked her lips together, eyes fighting to stay open. But she slipped into slumber, soon enough. Jake didn't notice until he looked at her again, her breath steady and moonlight highlighting her cheekbone.

He sighed in defeat, slowly sliding his arm away as she fell back on her pillow and Jake slipped out of her bed. He took the liberty to properly drape the blanket over her body, covering her arms and legs equally. She nuzzled into her pillow, humming. He slowly crept out of her room.

The nights leading to her birthday went the same way. She didn't ask him to, but he'd slip into her room to talk to her every night. He'd blame it on the lack of interaction between them during the day because he was either busy with paperwork or she was given no other choice but to stay in her room.

She usually spent breakfast with Jay, where they would talk about the most random things that came to mind. It was an unspoken rule- for Y/N to never ask about what he did for work every day. She was content enough with laughing and bonding with her brother.

Lunch and dinner, though, she was either sitting alone on the dining table in an empty house or sitting in her room with her face stuffed with food. The tv was usually playing a movie, other times she listened to music.

It wasn't as depressing as it sounded, the constant loop her life scheduled. Because she had two highlights in her days. One in the morning, where she'd chat with her brother and the other at night, where Jake would lay beside her and keep her company until she fell asleep.

Neither did Jake talk about what he did in his day. He'd usually just tell her the gist- exhausting, boring, typical day for someone who worked in the business he did. With that answer, Y/N had to wonder what it was that she was being protected from, why she was being guarded like a precious gem that could be stolen. She realised she'd rather not know and she'd realised that they'd rather not tell. Living in a plane of oblivion was always better.

He once told her about his life in Australia and how he used to be with his parents and big brother. He talked about his dog, Layla, like he was talking about the love of his life and it made her smile. His accent finally made sense.

Y/N didn't have much to tell Jake. Her life was boring. She elaborated on Pearl and how Jay had always had a crush on her when they were kids. They collectively made fun of him for sleeping with her even with the knowledge of her marriage.

She also told him how Jay finally told her about Andrei and how he and her dad were childhood friends. Andrei was the reason Jay was part of a mob and he was the reason they got to live in both luxury and misery.

When her birthday finally came, Jake didn't have the chance to wish her. He knew for a fact that Jay would be surprising her at the stroke of twelve. That was exactly what happened.

Y/N, oblivious to her brother's plans, was still awake, waiting for Jake to come into her like he was doing for the past week. But it was safe to say that she was much happier seeing Jay tip-toe into her room with a small birthday cake in his palms.

He had an excited smile on his face- a smile she rarely saw- as he sang Happy Birthday. A single candle was lit on the birthday cake and she quickly blew it out. The small celebration happened quietly and lasted until the pair managed to finish the cake. Before he let her sleep, despite knowing it'd be hard with the sugar rush, he handed her a birthday gift.

Another ring, like Y/N wished and expected for. A ring that was shaped with flowers, colourful enamel painted on the petals. "That is the opposite of tacky," he said and she laughed at his humour.

She was glad that he could freely joke around with her, regardless of the situation.

She didn't see Jake that entire day because her brother took her out for the first time in a long time. She wasn't complaining, mostly because she was too engrossed in the empty park they walked around and the empty theatre they watched a movie in.

Regardless of how much Jay was willing to let Y/N have fun, he sure as hell wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to book out entire parks and theatres. He had the money, so why not.

Y/N honestly didn't care as long as she was with him. She couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed a day out with her brother.

They got home later in the evening and Y/N agreed to stay in her room for the rest of the day. When she walked past Jungwon and Sunoo, they wished her a happy birthday- she smiled gratefully at them, then shut the door of her room and sunk into the white sheets of her bed.

Suddenly it was like her old life chased her down, following the same loop she was so used to. Today was a rare day, a special day that probably wouldn't be repeating itself until next year. It was just one day.

She wondered if she could plan something special for Jay's birthday, too.

That night, when the moonlight filtered through her curtains and crickets chirped, Jake snuck into her room again, a determined look on his face. He held something in his hand, hiding it behind his back as he cautiously made his way towards her bed.

"Hey," Y/N whispered to him, a beaming smile on her face.

"Hey," he cooed back. "I didn't get to see you all day," he said as he slipped under the sheets beside her.

"I was with Jay the entire day," she explained. "A special birthday surprise," she jazzed her hands, earning a low chuckle from Jake.

"Before you tell me about it," he started. "Happy birthday," he crooned as a finger reached to tap her nose. They smiled at each other, humming. "And I got you something," he added and pulled out an averagely sized box.

Y/N gasped softly. "You really didn't have to," she insisted but he shook his head, ushering her to move and sit in front of him. She complied, both crossing their legs as they sat in front of each other. Jake opened the box to reveal a bracelet, a simple, silver chain that would wrap around her wrist.

"It's not much, but it's something you'd like," he smiled sheepishly.

"You're right," she gushed. "I love it."

"Can I put it on for you?"

She nodded enthusiastically and Jake softly reached for her hands, fingers nimbly wrapping the bracelet around her wrist, cool metal touching warm skin. He was right, it suited her.

"Thank you," she lifted her hand to ogle at the bracelet around her wrist. "It's so pretty."

"Pretty girl deserves pretty gifts," the words slipped out involuntarily. He played it off with a shrug and leaned against the headboard. Y/N trained her eyes on him, moving closer so that their knees were touching. "How'd your day go, then?"

"Oh, right," she chewed the inside of her cheek. "Jay came into my room with cake at exactly twelve in the night and then in the morning we went to a park and ate ice cream. Then we went to watch a movie."

"Jay really did all that?"

"Granted, he did book out the entire park and theatre but it was still fun," she added, a sly grin taking over her pursed lips.

"That's the catch I was waiting for," he laughed. "What about your parents?"

"They messaged me a birthday wish and sent me some money," she scoffed, darting her eyes away for a brief second. "They act like they're some distant relative of mine," she commented.

"At least, you have Jay and me," he offered. Y/N nodded, agreeing with a minuscule grin.

Silence followed with that. Neither of them were complaining, though, because they just gazed at each other, pupils fighting the dim moonlight. Y/N found it in herself to move her hands towards his, nimble fingers playing with his. She always thought he had pretty hands and she knew how bizarre it sounded.

Jake watched as her hands played with his fingers and recalled how he wanted her to do the exact thing. Her index scaled the span of his palm, then the crevices between his knuckles and veins. She paid so much attention to the one thing she was doing, he found it adorable.

"Can you believe that less than two weeks ago, Jay and I were at each others' throats?" She mumbled, a light chuckle following her observation.

Jake hummed. "Can you believe that less than two weeks ago, you and I were strangers to each other?" He nodded between himself and her.

"Yeah," she giggled. "And all it took was for me to be a whiney brat," she muffled the cackle that left her mouth.

Jake laughed at her, chest rising and falling as he felt his heart race, banging against his ribs as Y/N absentmindedly wrapped her palm around his two fingers. Her delicate, little hand around his. He would curse if he could.

"I'm pleased with the way things turned out."

While Y/N nodded, Jake let his free hand wrap around her wrist, tugging her towards him. It was clear that she wasn't expecting it, almost slipping onto his lap. But Jake caught her, his other hand holding her waist as her palms landed on his chest.

He exhaled, chest heaving as her body pressed against his, lips parted. Y/N darted her eyes across his face, flitting to read what he was feeling. "I'm pleased too," she gulped, smiling ever so lightly that anyone could have missed it.

"Good," then his fingers were wrapped around her chin, guiding her face closer to his. Their eyes fluttered shut in unison and Jake caught her lips with his.

Y/N wouldn't say that she felt sparks fly. No, it was something subtler yet more intense. It was like waves of butterflies crashed down on her, the back of her head tingled and her spine would have given up if it wasn't for Jake holding her tight. As her hand travelled towards his jaw, she felt fire between her fingers.

A moan parted from her throat, her brows furrowing when Jake's lips parted from her with a wet smack. Y/N's eyes fluttered open, breathless just as he was. "Was that supposed to be my second birthday gift?"

Jake chuckled dryly, shaking his head as he leaned towards her again. "Take it as whatever you want," he pecked her, repeatedly, punctuating each with a smile as his hands buried in her hair.

If it weren't for the air conditioning, she was sure she'd spontaneously combust out of joy, excitement and ardour. She wouldn't say she was pining over him. Hell, they only started talking a week ago. But a part of her knew he was pining for her, for a longer time than she knew.

He made it quite obvious. He was so nice to her, so caring and endearing. The bracelet as a birthday gift just gave him away. Maybe she was happy, maybe she was scared. She didn't know which overpowered what as her brain turned into mush while he held her.

All she knew was that she liked him and he liked her. What more could she possibly ask for?

Right. Her brother's acceptance.

"Shit," she cursed as Jake's palm pressed the small of her back, her chest arching into his. He sighed, darting his eyes up and down her face before kissing her nose, and then her cheek and then her forehead but his lips found their way back to hers nevertheless.

"What is it?" He breathed, giving up and resting his chin in the croon of her neck. She slumped against him, her arms latching around his neck and the smell of lavender filled her nose.

"Jay," she reminded him.

"I just kissed you," he pointed out. "And you're thinking of your brother?"

"Exactly, you just kissed me," she whined. "And if he finds out-"

"How will he find out?" Jake hummed as Y/N pushed herself off him, sitting inches away from his touch. His fingertips traced her cheek, pushing back any strand of hair that covered her face.

Oh, how long he had waited for this exact moment, to have her freely for him to touch. For her hands to explore his face and chest and for his hands to disappear in her hair. But there would always be something stopping him- them.

"I don't know," she hissed. "It's Jay! He'll find out somehow!"

"Then let's just hope he doesn't find out any time soon," he tried. "I'm not gonna let him ruin this."

Then Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach again and she fought the smile that threatened to grace her features. Jake didn't hesitate to grin, pulling her closer to him and letting his hand roam her waist, fingers sliding under her shirt and trailing lines across the band of her pants.

She giggled, lips tracing his jaw and complaint that she felt ticklish. He told her that it was the whole point- she whined as she kissed his jugular. Jake's hands refused to leave her hips, he held her in place, praying that he could have a few more minutes to spend just like that.

They didn't know how long they stayed that way, lips on each other's necks, hands teasing the little exposed skin they could find. But however long it was, nothing seemed to be enough. Jake left her room when Y/N started feeling sleepy. He left with a kiss to her head and mouth and slipped past her door.

She woke up early regardless and she chalked it up to the adrenaline that still surged through her veins. The previous night's activities dazed her head as she raced down the stairs and into the kitchen. Jay sat at the dining table just like she expected, a plate of waffles with whipped cream sitting in front of him. His attention stayed on his phone, though, even when she settled beside him.

"Good morning," she sang but received no answer. Well, if she counted a hum as an answer, then so be it.

The cook hurried to hand her a plate of waffles as well and she smiled at him, reaching for a fork and knife. She wasted no time in eating, oblivious to the way her brother's jaw clenched and unclenched, eyes narrowed to an empty screen on her phone.

"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?" She chuckled, chewing a mouthful of waffles.

Jay tutted, shaking his head and shoving his phone into his pocket. "I might as well have," he grumbled. "How does one react to finding their right-hand man sneaking out of their sister's room in the middle of the night," and his hand reached for a tissue, wiping it between his fingers.

Y/N stilled her actions, fork falling out of her hand as her eyes connected with her brother. He was truly livid, fires of anger blazing in his eyes as his fingers intertwined under his chin.

"What?" She blinked, a chill running down her spine. Her hand hovered in the air, hair falling into her eyes, mouth agape.

"Don't play dumb," he rolled his eyes. "Do you know how angry I was?"

"What did you do?" She panicked, palms pressing against the slick wood of the table. The cutlery shook, her plate might as well have dropped to the floor.

"Yelled at him for a good fucking hour," he seethed.

"That's all you did?"

Jay doesn't respond but takes his knife and fork to his waffles. Y/N watched patiently but it felt like her head could detonate at any given second. The worse possible scenarios crossed her mind- was Jake still his right-hand man?

"He's still alive, if that's what you're wondering," he said nonchalantly. "He's not just my right-hand man. He's my best friend. I'm not cruel enough to kill him."

If she could, she would sigh out of relief. But more questions surfaced. But she wasn't in a place to ask him anything. After all, she did betray him.

"Not two weeks and he's bought you a gift for your birthday and had the nerve to kiss you," he let out a breath in disappointment. Y/N bowed her head down, embarrassed by just how much he knew. She couldn't blame Jake for confessing, though. She would have confessed too. "To be fair, it was inevitable, right? Falling for the brother's best friend- you've always been a clichè, right, Y/N?."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, playing with her thumbs. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say but it was the only appropriate response she could muster.

Jay ignored her, continuing to eat calmly. The shiny watch on his wrist slid up and down as he moved his arm while eating. Y/N knew her brother well enough to know that he was seconds away from exploding into fury. This was the calm before the storm, for all she knew.

"You'd think that I wouldn't mind you having a rendezvous with him. You know, because I trust him and whatnot," he continued, echoing the words she had said to him before. "But that's the thing. I remember telling you not to drag him into your romantic fantasies," he chewed on another piece of his waffle.

Y/N sat in her chair shaking, wondering how on earth she messed up so bad. Not two weeks and she had ruined her chance of freedom and a better relationship with her brother. Not two weeks and she proved that she didn't deserve anything she asked for.

"Now I'm sitting here with my ego hurt. And we all know how I am when my ego is hurt" he reminded. "But I'm torn between minding my own business and doing something about it. So tell me, what should I do?"

It was a rhetorical question. Y/N knew that. She felt like a little girl being scolded by her parents after committing a small crime. But this wasn't a small crime. It was a mistake that might as well cost her relationship with her brother. So she just sat there and took it. She was on the verge of tears, the corners of her lips twitching downwards.

"Because I don't want to do something about it. You're legally an adult. You can do whatever you want, right?" He coaxed, staring daggers into her head. "Right?" Y/N hesitantly nodded as he persisted. "Which means you can take care of yourself. So why need me at all? Why do I have to bend over backwards to do everything in my power to make sure not a hair on your head gets hurt?"

"Jay-"

"I'm doing everything I can to keep you safe," he said. "But guess what? You aren't the only one telling me that I'm being unfair. Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jungwon- all of them. I don't want to know why they have a sudden interest in you and the way I treat you. But call it peer pressure. I was being convinced. And not two weeks, you find a way to make me regret being nice to you."

"So you only put effort into being a better brother because of them?"

"No, Y/N. Everything I did was so I could call you a sister. So that you could look at me like I'm your brother. Not some monster that locks you up in your room all day," he insisted, slamming the cutlery in his hands onto the table. "Can you blame me for being angry that you and Jake have your thing going on?"

"No."

"What am I going to do when you have a falling out? What am I going to do if Jake, my right-hand man, my best friend, is the reason you get hurt?" He retorted, eyes squinting. "I can't abandon him. Neither can I abandon you, can I?"

"What if we don't have a falling out?" With the sudden surge of confidence, Y/N spoke back, head tilting at her proposal.

"Funny thing is, Jake said the same thing," he scoffed. Like on cue, Jake was walking into the kitchen. The fear in his eyes covered by the clench in his jaw and fisted hands. Jay and Y/N turned their heads to look at him. "You did say that, didn't you, Jake?"

Jake nodded, training his eyes on Jay as Y/N willed herself not to cry. Everything was going to be fine.

"But that's the thing. Who are you to predict what might happen in the future?" He pursued. "It's always best to prepare for the worse, right?"

"But why?" Y/N whispered. "Nothing bad will happen- Jay, I like him," she reasoned. The girl might as well burst into sobs as she pointed between Jake and herself. "You and him are the only people I have in my life."

"I know," Jay growled. "That is what leads me to my conclusion."

Jake and Y/N shared glances, both scared and confused. "What's your conclusion?" Jake urged.

Silence was what followed as Jay continued eating. All Y/N and Jake could do was stare and wait patiently. This was their punishment, the silence that followed the verdict. The numerous thoughts and possibilities that conjured in their heads.

What could possibly happen now?

The sound of metal clattering with porcelain seemed to be the only distraction. Y/N fought the urge to coax him, force an answer out of him because she swore if she waited any longer, she'd go crazy.

Jay even stood up and kept his plate in the dishwasher. He cleared his throat, dusted his shirt and ran a hand through his annoyingly bleached blonde hair. He glanced at his sister and his right-hand man and gave them a curt not.

"You can do whatever you want."

Y/N gaped, her jaw might as well have hit the floor, eyes involuntarily widening as she started her brother up and down. It was safe to say Jake gave the same expression, hands hovering in front of him.

"What?" Y/N asked.

"I'm furious," Jay reminded the pair, the same stoic expression on his face. "But I'll allow it. You're so confident in yourselves, right? So be it, I'll let you two live it down. Call this a test. I was just trying to see if you're answers would stay the same."

"You can't be serious," Jake stared, stepping closer to Y/N.

"I am being serious," Jay said simply. "I accept this relationship," it took every muscle in his body not to cringe.

Then Jay walked out of the kitchen because he didn't know what he would do if he continued the conversation. Y/N and Jake were left frozen in their spots. They were still confused, puzzled at what just happened. So there was no storm, Y/N thought to herself, and he raged for so long just because he was mad.

Would it be appropriate to cause after her brother and hug him? Probably not the right timing.

She knew how much Jay had to suppress to let out the words he just said. So all she could do was be grateful. Her mouth only closed when Jake touched her chin with his fingers. She blinked, shaking her head and looking at Jake.

"What just happened?" She asked.

"I think we just got Jay's blessings," Jake mused, pulling a chair beside her and collapsing in it. A sigh left his lips, hands resting on the table as he tilted his head towards her.

"How are you so calm?"

"Why would I not be?"

Jake looked back to the prior night when Jay had caught him walking out of her room. He looked back to the way Jay seethed at him and spewed words but the tears that brimmed his eyes were unmistakable. Jay wasn't just angry, he was giving Jake the protective brother talk.

Maybe a part of him saw this coming. Jay couldn't do anything to stop it. Well, he could turn to physical force but he wasn't as cruel as people made him out to be. So he wasn't worried. He knew Jay would come around to it someday, learn to be happy with the way things turned out.

Because the way things turned out wasn't so bad, after all.

"What did he say to you?" Y/N's hand moved to rest on his, thumb touching his knuckles. She moved closer to him; Jake chuckled and placed his hand on her knee.

"Not important," he assured. "But can we just celebrate? This is the best day of my life!"

---

Fetish III

🩶 Summary: *Read Part I first* Alternate ending to Fetish I, where Sunghoon and his pregnant girlfriend may or may not work things out.

🩶 A/N: *sigh* I was not gonna write this. Even though a LOT of people kept asking and wanted to know what would happen after the baby was born. I just wasn't inspired ig 🤷🏾‍♀️. But @srae-22 gave me ✨️ideas✨️, and I didn't even want the ideas, but she made me have them anyway🙄. So we can all thank her for this. Without further ado, please lmk what you think of "Fetish III"...or "Fetish 1.5...?" Idk.

🩶 Warnings: NSFW, smut, pregnancy, angst, an insane amount of crying, daddy!Sunghoon, dilf!sunghoon,petnames ie;doll, baby, pretty etc, pussydrunkhoon!,breeding k!nk, switch!sunghoon, switch!reader, smacking?, dirty talk, oral (f. receiving),degradation k!nk, humiliation k!nk, dacryphilia, squirting

🩶 Word Count: North of 8.5k

Sunghoon's tired, red eyes met the florescent green numbers on his clock for seemingly the millionth time tonight.

3:56 AM

He turned to gaze out of his frosted glass window, watching tiny flakes of snow accumulate on the pane. Sleep was a luxury. A luxury that he couldn't afford, apparently. Not with the way the guilt and pain were eating away at him. It was easier to deal with during the day. When he could keep himself busy and occupied working and hanging out with his friends. But over time, Sunghoon had come to loathe the nights. When he'd be left alone in his quiet, empty room with what-ifs running rampant through his brain.

I miss my baby...

The thought felt foreign in his brain. How could he miss someone that he had never even been given the chance to meet? Nevertheless, there was a hole in his heart and a void in his life that only his baby could fill.

My baby.

He still couldn't really believe it. Somewhere out there was a tiny piece of him, only about a month old if his math was correct. The only tidbit of information that he'd been given was her date of birth and her name.

Her. My little girl.

He choked on a sob at the thought, eyes welling with regret and shame as he thought back to that night.

"Then go."

He knew she wouldn't. Couldn't. Calling her bluff seemed like a smart idea at first. After all, they both knew how desperate she was for him. He didn't think he could lose, but as she stood up and began gathering her clothes, his hands began to shake. Could it be that he had finally pushed her just a bit too far?

"It's late, darling." She frustratedly tugged her sweatpants on, hopping on one foot as she jammed her socks on as well. "And raining. You're terrible at driving in the rain." Why was it so hard for him to ask her to stay?

"Like you care," She scoffed to herself.

She decided to forgo the bra, yanking his her hoodie over her head and storming out the room without as much as a goodbye. She was doing everything in her power to convince herself that this was it. That she didn't need him anymore. He tugged on his briefs and followed behind at a lazy pace, resting his forearms over the railing as he watched her from the top of the staircase.

He watched as she yanked his door open, heart pounding, as he anticipated her next move. She stood, seemingly frozen for what felt like an eternity. A depraved smile spread across his face as she slowly shut the door, unable to even cross the threshold. Her head thudded softly against the door as her frame shook from quiet sobs.

Just as he was preparing to descend the stairs, she lifted her head, wiped her tears, and opened the door once more. He paused in his tracks, waiting. Watching. And without sparing him another glance, she left. He stood in awe for a few second until his brain switched back on. Barefoot and mostly naked, he ran out into the rain after her, calling out for her to stop. But she didn't stop, in fact she didn't slow down at all, easing her car out of his driveway and out of his life.

Sunghoon shuddered at the painful memory. What had he expected? He treated her like shit. Of course she'd want better for her...for their daughter. She had been a month and a half pregnant then, and determined to do her utmost to protect her baby from any and everything. Including her own father.

The second month of her pregnancy, Sunghoon tried to give her space. He had downloaded an app on his phone that told him information about the different stages his baby was going through as she grew in her mommy's tummy. At two months pregnant, his baby was about an inch long according to the app. He could hardly read another word of it because of the way he'd tear up everytime he even opened the app. But he refused to lose hope.

The third month of her pregnancy, Sunghoon felt like he was suffering through withdrawal. He had never gone this long without talking to her, without sleeping with her, without holding her. Call him selfish, but Sunghoon was missing her wet heat more and more everyday, to the point where he could hardly focus on his work. The app said his baby was the size of a plum. After reading that, Sunghoon had developed a strong aversion to eating plums as much as he liked them.

The fourth month of her pregnancy Sunghoon was desperate. He called her every. Single. Day. Morning, noon, and night. Left voice messages, texts, emails, DM's, everything. She ignored them all. He had found out the hard way that she had the locks changed in her apartment when he attempted to see her and his key no longer triggered the gear. The app said his baby was now the size of an avocado, with working ears and eyes.

The fifth month of her pregnancy, Sunghoon was lonely. The app told him that his baby was now roughly the size of a banana and that the gender could be revealed. He left her voicemails begging her to please, please just let him know whether she'd be having his son or daughter. A stranger texted back to let him know that he had the wrong number. That she had changed her number. To get further away from him.

In the sixth month of her pregnancy, Sunghoon wanted to prove that he could help raise the baby. The app said the baby was the size of an ear of corn now. Despite knowing that she officially wanted nothing else to do with him, he showered her in expensive gifts for the baby. Designer clothes that were way too pricy and flashy for an infant who'd surely not care about the brand name. Cribs that were custom-made and hand crafted of African mahogany. Mobiles that played lullaby versions of his songs. Every single gift was wordlessly sent back to him in the mail, with no return address in sight. While it did piss him off, he didn't let it deter him. Instead, he set up the spare bedroom as a nursery, determined that his baby would get to use all of the things he had bought.

The seventh month of her pregnancy, Sunghoon cried every single day. The app said his baby was the size of an eggplant and now had the ability to dream. He wished desperately that he hadn't been so cruel. That he had treated her with the love and respect she deserved from the beginning because now he was suffering for it, and he couldn't remember anything ever hurting this bad.

The eight month of her pregnancy struck Sughoon with a longing so deep he could feel it in the core of his bones. The app told him that his baby was the size of a squash and was definitely kicking by now. He wanted to feel those kicks, the tiny flutters of little feet thumping against his palm as he massaged mommy's tummy and aided in her nesting. He wanted to spend hours putting together complicated and intricate baby furniture while baby and mommy sat in a rocking chair watching him contently. He wanted to hold mommy close and listen to her cute little pregnant snoring whilst she got as much rest as possible while she still could.

The nineth month of her pregnancy, Sunghoon lost so much weight. He couldn't eat. Couldn't sleep. He could hardly breathe in anticipation of the birth of his first child. He sat by his phone constantly, waiting to hear it ring. He couldn't even run to the bathroom or grab a drink from the kitchen without bringing his phone along with him. His friends were so good to him, crashing at his place and keeping him as distracted at they possibly could. The app told him his baby could probably recognize voices and certain songs.

At thirty nine weeks, she birthed his baby. It was four-fifteen in the morning when he received a single text from an unknown number.

Kimora Raè Park

12/23/23

8 lbs 7 oz

Right below the text message was a picture. The love of his life cradling a chubby pink bundle, with a head full of thick dark locks. Two tiny balled up fist with ten little fingers (Sunghoon counted). And a little mole on her face, resting prettily beneath her left eye. Just like his.

The cry that escaped his lungs must have been what woke his friends. They came bursting through his room, bleary-eyed and confused, only to find him hunched over his phone and shaking with sobs. By the time they had gently pried the phone from his grip, they had already put two and two together.

"Did she have the baby!? Is everything alright!?"

He could hardly pull himself together enough to nod.

"S-she had th-the baby." He stuttered shakily.

"Well? What'd she have, hyung? A boy or girl? Did she send pictures?" Niki inquired impatiently.

"A g-girl. You guys, I have a da-daughter!" He cried, feeling such a confusingly mixed set of emotions. They crowded around his phone to see the photo, each of them cooing about how beautiful she was.

"Her n-name...." Sunghoon paused to gather himself. "Her name is Kimora Raè Park. She gave her my family name." His voice cracked as he couldn't hold back his tears from flowing again.

"She did? That's great! Maybe now that she's had the baby, she'll be more open to talking to you?"

That turned out to be wishful thinking at best. Because a month and a half later, Sunghoon was laying in his bed, watching the snowflakes grace his window, still longing to meet his daughter. He listened to the faint sounds of the guys gaming echoing through his house. Even with his best friends practically moving in with him, he still felt so alone. Sunghoon was so sick of crying and feeling helpless. He decided right then and there that he was going to go and meet his daughter, and he wouldn't be returning home until he did so.

He threw his covers back, his pale feet tiptoeing at the feeling of cold hardwoods floors. He ignored it, trudging down the stairs and into the kitchen to grab his keys. The jingling alerted Jake and Jay, momentarily stopping their bickering as they turned their attention to Sunghoon.

They watched as Sunghoon stomped his feet into the closest pair of sneakers and quickly snagged the nearest hoodie he could find.

"Uhhhh...where ya goin', buddy?" Sunghoon hardly even looked in Jake's direction as he answered.

"I'm going to see my baby girl."

"What?! It's like four in the morning, though? Wait, she said you could come over!?"

"Nope." Sunghoon swung the front door closed behind him, taking big strides to his car.

He hardly remembered the ride to her apartment, but he was so excited that he didn't even care. He stood outside her door for the first time in months, feeling queasy, and nauseated and terrified. He knocked thrice, firm but not too loud as it was still quite early.

"Coming!" He heard her muffled tinkerbell voice on the other side, the sound filling his ears and making him feel like his thirst for her had been quenched just a little. He could tell she wasn't expecting him, her wide eyes taking in his frame before she tried to shut the door in his face. He caught it instinctively, peering down into her soul as he held it open.

"Hi." He mumbled sheepishly.

"What are you doing here?! Do you know what time it is?!"

"It's time for me to see my baby."

"Sunghoon. What the fuck? You can't just show up at my door at four-thirty in the morning and demand to see the baby. You need to-"

"It's been a month and a half since she was born! It's way past time I get to see her. You didn't let me come to any appointments, let me see any ultrasound pictures, you didn't even tell me if we were having a boy or girl! I know... I know how you feel about me. About my dependability. But..." The sight of his tired eyes welling was painful for her to see.

"But she's my baby too." His voice cracked. "And it's not fair for you to keep me from being a part of her life. I'm begging you. To put aside the way you feel about me... and let me see my baby." He could see her debating internally.

"I've a-already missed so much. Please." He begged.

Before she could reply, he heard a tiny cry from somewhere in her apartment. He gasped aloud at the sound, his eyes meeting hers again.

"I-is, is that...?" She nodded wordlessly, looking torn between slamming the door in his face and letting him in. Sunghoon was ready to get on his knees and beg at this point. She sighed deeply, shaking her head to herself.

"Come in."

Just two little words. But they had already changed Sunghoon's entire life.

He stepped in, removing his shoes and hoodie at the door.

"Go and wash your hands."

He quickly did as told, hoping she didn't notice how badly his hands were shaking. He sat anxiously on her couch, watching as she disappeared into a small room. He listened to her coo and hum to the baby, the air evaporating from his lungs as she returned with a small, pink bundle. She sat beside him on the couch, turning the baby to face him. Sunghoon could only see her pretty little face for about five seconds before he was once again crumbling in a heap of tears. He hung his head low, hands covering his face, embarrassed at the low sobs erupting from his chest. He was surprised at the feeling of her fingers stroking soothingly through his hair.

"Shhh. It's ok," She whispered. "It's okay, Hoon." He wiped his eyes on his sleeve and did his best to stop crying so he could see his baby.

She was perfect.

He could see himself in many of her tiny features, little ears that looked like his, eyes that were shaped like his, and her tiny mole. And he could also see so much of her mommy, her lips, and cute button nose. She was the perfect blend of the two of them.

Sunghoon had never believed in love at first sight until now.

He could have sat there staring at her for the rest of his life. Watching the way her little fists twitched in her sleep. He reached out to run a finger over her chubby cheek, melting at how soft she felt. The gesture caused her to stir awake, big almond eyes settling on him. She stared at him. And he stared back feeling like he was in a trance almost.

"I've been dreaming of this moment since the night you left me." He let slip. She didn't say anything in return, watching as he gently unwound her tiny fist to wrap around his pinky finger.

"She's so pretty." He whispered, more to himself than to her.

"We... we call her Kimmy. That's her nickname." It suited her somehow. His Kimmy.

"Kimmy," He repeated, his eyes never once leaving her face. "And you gave her my last name?" He hoped she'd just ignore the wavering in his tone.

"Of course I did. You're her daddy." His eyes shot up to look at her in awe.

"You have....you have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you." She tried to shrug it off, but now her eyes were starting to tear up too.

"Do you want to hold her?"

"Can I?" She placed the baby in his arms, showing him how to support her neck comfortably. She couldn't put into words the way she felt looking at the sight before her. She could see Sunghoon falling in love.

"Here. Keep an eye on her while I run to the bathroom." He nodded absent-mindedly, fixing the pink monogrammed hat on Kimmy's head.

Before he could say anything, she was practically running out of the room to lock herself in the bathroom. She turned the tap on and covered her mouth to muffle the sob that escaped her. Guilty. That's how she felt. The image of a lovestruck Sunghoon cradling his baby for the first time would be burned in her brain forever. The look in his eye, the soft touch he held her with, told her everything. He'd be a good daddy. She had let her hurt feelings push him away and keep him from seeing a piece of him that was just as much his as it was hers. She had treated him so unfairly, so cruel, just as he had done to her. But worse. Because not only was she keeping him from seeing his baby, but she was keeping her baby from having her daddy. She did her best to gather herself, making sure she looked presentable before returning to her living room. She stood in the doorway, watching as Sunghoon quietly murmured to the baby. He was cradling her against his chest, bringing her chubby hand to his lips to kiss. She felt almost like she was intruding as she listened.

"Hi, my pretty baby. Hi, beautiful. I'm your Daddy, and I love you so, so much. I'm so sorry I'm just now meeting you. I promise you, I've thought of you every single day, every hour, every minute since the second your mommy told me about you. Daddy's going to do his very best to take care of you, okay? I'll never, ever leave you again. No matter what. Daddy loves you, baby." He didn't even notice she was watching him until he heard her quietly clear her throat.

"Can I take her hat off?" She nodded, watching as he removed her little hat, fingers stroking over her silky curls.

"She's perfect." He murmured. "Absolutely perfect. How could she have come from us, from me?" She snapped a picture of them whilst he was distracted, smiling at the sight she hadn't even permitted herself to imagine for the past year. He watched his baby's face scrunch for a second before she started to cry.

"She's probably hungry." Sunghoon hated to hand her back the baby. He expected her to go and feed the baby in the nursery, but was completely caught off guard by her tugging the front of her tank top down and feeding her right in front of him.

"Nothing you haven't seen before." She stated. But the sight in front of him, of her nursing his baby certainly was a sight he had never seen. Nevertheless, he was grateful she felt comfortable enough to do so in front of him. He watched intently, listening to his baby's content suckling as she ate. She didn't feed for very long, growing full in a matter of minutes.

"Do you want to burp her?" Sunghoon felt like he was in a dream. He held her up to his shoulder, gently patting her back until he heard a tiny burp. Followed by warmth running down his back.

"Oops. She threw up." He felt her gently wipe his back with a cloth. "I still have some of your t-shirts if you want to change."

"You do?" He asked. She hummed in confirmation.

"I wore your t-shirts my entire pregnancy. They were like a safety blanket for me. My hormones were all over the place. I cried for three months straight when they stopped smelling like you." She admitted sheepishly. Sunghoon could feel his heart doing parkour in his chest.

"Oh. R-really?"

"Yes. I missed you so much. You were the only pregnancy craving that I denied myself." She figured she might as well spill.

"I missed you too. Every day since you left, I've missed you. I'm sorry I was such an ass-" His eyes darted down to his now sleeping daughter. "Such a jerk to you. I don't know what was wrong with me. Why I treated you the way that I did. I'm sure it's difficult to believe, but I really did... I do love you. And I promise I've matured so much this past year."

"I can see that, Hoon."

"Then maybe we can give this another shot? To be a family?"

"Let's just start with you being a part of our lives. I don't want to rush into a relationship right now. My hormones are still totally out of whack, and I really just want to focus on being a mom for now. I'm not saying no. Just... maybe not yet." He was both disappointed and delighted at her answer.

"Ok."

For the next few months, Sunghoon proved himself to be more than reliable. As the baby grew older, they grew closer. It was impossible for her to deny their mutual attraction, their magnetism. Sunghoon had indeed matured. Gone was the immature boy that strung her along for his own selfish game. Replacing him was a man, who took his job off taking care of both her and his baby seriously. Since reentering her life, Sunghoon had made it clear that he planned to take care of both her and the baby physically, financial, and emotionally. He hadn't allowed her to pay for as much as a single diaper since that day he showed up on her doorstep.

Sunghoon was happy to say that he now got to see his baby on an almost daily basis. He was present for every doctor's appointment, listening attentively to every words the pediatrician said and soothing his crying baby after a round of shots. He was willing to change even the gnarliest diapers, not even flinching when it got messy. And he was great at bath time, maybe even better than Mommy was, gently washing and detangling her mess of curls. And he hadn't complained about any of it even once. Whether or not Sunghoon realized it, she (and everyone else for that matter) could clearly see that Sunghoon was born to be a dad. He never stopped telling her how grateful he was to her for making him a daddy. She honestly felt so much relief. Although she was only alone for about a month, taking care of a baby all alone had been hard. With Sunghoon, things were so much easier.

In fact, all of the boys had stepped up and integrated themselves into Kimmy's life in some way. Heeseung and Jungwon could often be found singing to or feeding her. Jay liked to buy her outfits that he thought were cute, and Sunoo had taken to dressing her up and styling her curls in cute but messy pigtails and buns. Jake and Niki were obsessed with her soothing baby scent and could often be seen either cuddling (sniffing) her in their arms or passed out on the couch with her. She was eternally grateful and proud of the village of people helping raise her daughter.

"Sunghoon, where's the bottle warmer?" She asked as she passed him the fussy five month old.

"I think we left it back at your apartment." This part, however, was frustrating. Because of the constant back and forth between his place and hers, she was constantly forgetting things.

"You know..." He started, and she already knew where this was going.

"Don't start, Sunghoon."

"If you'd just move in with me, then all of Kimmy's stuff would be in one place." She huffed irritably.

"Come onnnnn. It's been what, four months since you said we could be a part of each other's lives. And they've been the best four months of my entire life. There's only two things that could make my life any better right now. And one of them is if you and Kimmy finally move in with me."

"And the other?" She asked dryly.

"If you'd marry me. But I don't think you're quite ready for that conversation yet." He was making her heart palpitate, and judging by the grin on his face, he was enjoying it.

"Shut up." She covered her face in embarrassment.

"No," He laughed. "You know I love you, Mommy. I just want to be with you and Kimmy." Sunghoon had taken a liking to calling her either Mama or Mommy and having her call him Daddy. It made him feel like they were a real family. And he also found it to be hot as FUCK, but he didn't think she needed to know that.

"I love you too, Daddy." It had been over a year since he had heard her utter such words. She looked away shyly, startling at the feeling of him gently gripping her chin and turning her head to kiss her. The feel, the taste, of her lips against his was nothing short of bliss.

A dull ache resonated in the pit of his stomach, his dick becoming increasingly stiff in his pants.

"Say it again." He whispered against her lips.

"I love you, Daddy." This time, he could feel his dick twitching in response. It had been so long since she had felt his touch, his kiss, his big dick bullying its way into her guts. The thought was making her head feel foggy.

"I think it's time for Kimmy to have a nap. So that Mommy and Daddy can have some alone time, hmm?" She nodded back, watching as he rocked the baby gently.

"Go to sleep, Kimora Raè. Daddy's been waiting a loooong time for this." She heard him mutter.

Sunghoon's heart ached at the sight of her long, thick lashes fluttering shut over her chocolate colored eyes. He stood, bouncing her gently as he walked to the nursery, hoping with everything in him that she'd stay asleep for at least an hour or two. He laid her down in her crib, cracking the door to her nursery before returning to his spot on the couch.

"Come here, Mommy." She was straddling his lap before he could even finish his sentence.

"Daddy's missed you so much." He groaned at the feeling of her weight settling atop the steel rod in his sweatpants.

"I've missed you too. I was so lonely without you, Sunghoon." The way she was peering into his eyes was making him feel hot and nervous, like it was their first time all over again.

"I was too. So lonely....And finding someone else to fill that void wasn't even an option. I hoped that you'd eventually forgive me so that we could be together again." His voice became airy at the feeling of her lips caressing his jaw. His head rolled back, resting against the couch as she covered his neck and jaw in kisses.

"Of course replacing me wasn't an option. We go through our ups and downs, but at the end of the day... we belong together." She buried her fingers in his hair before planting a deep kiss on his lips. He could feel her desperation in the kiss, her longing for him, her love.

He finally felt whole again.

His arms snaked around her waist, holding her close and fiddling with hem of the t-shirt she had stolen from his closet this morning. He didn't ask, simply tugging the garment up and over her head, pleasantly surprised to see that she was braless underneath and she didn't fight him on it. He could, however, feel her beginning to shrink back a bit, her arms wrapping protectively around her breasts and stomach. She was kind of panicking internally at the thought of him seeing the extra bit of weight around her stomach. The faint stretch marks that pregnancy had left on her skin.

"What's wrong?" He mumbled against her lips.

"I- nothing. It's just.... it's been so long since we've done this. And I don't know, my body has changed a bit since having Kimmy and I'm nervous that you might not find me as attract-"

"Cut that shit out. I'm more attracted to you right now than I've ever been. And any changes that your body has gone through to give me my perfect baby, I love. I promise." He unwrapped her hands from around herseld, replacing them with his own and gripping her in a tight hug.

"In fact," She felt him grip two handfuls of her ass, giving a rough squeeze. "I really like the tiger stripes." He winked, and it gave her the confidence boost she needed.

And Sunghoon wasn't lying. She had always been sexy to him, but seeing the way her pretty body had changed was making his briefs feel entirely too tight for the erection straining within them. The way her breast had grown, swollen and heavy from nursing his baby. Her hips, just a bit fuller than he remembered, making her hourglass shape seem even more defined. The cutest bit of pudge around her tummy, perfect for him to grip while stuffing her stomach full of his dick. And the stretch marks, something Sunghoon had always been secretly aroused by, decorating her skin faintly was enough to drive him wild. All of these changes to her body were his doing because he had gotten her pregnant. He felt a bead of precum oozing out of him at the thought.

Sunghoon approved of these changes, to say the least.

"You're too fucking pretty. So sexy. I dunno, baby. Might not last too long this first time." He grunted, fiddling with the waistband of her lacy boyshorts as she peppered his jawline in kisses.

"It's ok. I won't last very long, either."

"You never do." He smirked.

"Shut up."

"It's the truth. You always cum so fucking fast for me. Because I know exactly how to touch you, don't I? And eat you....fuck you.... which do you want to feel first, Mama?"

"Eat me, Daddy?"

He kissed her sensually, and she felt like she was being seduced by him for the first time all over again. He left a trail of passionate kisses down her neck, taking his time to lick and suck hickeys into every sensitive spot that he could remember she had. She shivered at the feeling of his rough hands groping her tits, his kisses trailing across her heaving chest, a gasp escaping her at the feeling of his sharp canines nipping at her.

"Sunghoon! You have to be g-gentle. I'm nursing so they're so sensitive." She moaned as his nips turned to gentle kisses, his groping into sweet carresses.

"Sorry, Mama. Got a bit too excited. I'll be gentler." He tugged his own shirt off and picked her up easily, her legs wrapping around his waist as he carried her to his bedroom. He layed her down onto his silk sheets, mentally applauding himself for tidying up earlier in the week. He flicked the light on, groaning aloud as he palmed his thick erection in arousal. He jumped right back in where he left off, unable to stop himself from leaving wet trails of his saliva in the valley between her breast as he slowly made his descent down her abdomen. He stopped to press kisses to her tummy, imagining to himself how pretty she must have looked when she was pregnant.

"Daddy," She breathed anxiously. "You're making me feel nervous. Can we t-turn the light back out?"

"Why? I want to see you, baby. I already told you. I- fuck..." He swore at the wet patch soaking through her panties. "...I don't care what you say, I love how fucking pretty your body is." He left wet kisses all over her stomach as he toyed with her panties.

"Shit. Look how wet you are for me. What a good fucking girl, you are." He grinned wolfishly.

All self conscious thoughts left her head as he leaned in and kissed the wet spot, a clear string of her arousal sticking to his lips. He made a show of licking her juices from his lips before his slender fingers were curving into the waistband of her panties. His mouth watered as her thighs spread wide open for him, practically serving him her dripping cunt on a silver platter.

"I've been fantasizing... dreaming about this pussy for so fucking long, baby. Please. Don't ever make me wait this long to have you ever again."

"I won't, Daddy." She moaned impatiently.

"Good."

Sunghoon had to mentally compose himself. He wanted to ravage her, to push her knees into her chest and fucking eat. Without giving her time to think or breathe or move. But he also wanted to savor the moment. He had worked hard to get back into her good graces and now he was finally receiving his reward.

He settled for placing gentle, teasing kisses all over her smooth mound grinning as she got wetter and wetter until her entire little cunt was a sloppy wet mess. His hair was wild from her shaky fingers tugging at it, plump pink lips glossy from her arousal.

"Sunghoon? Please, Daddy?" She whimpered.

"What is it, Mama? Tell Daddy what you want."

"No more teasing." She whined, watching him rub his sticky lips together.

"Shhh. We've got to be quiet, babylove." She nodded, tucking her bottom lip between her teeth.

"Your juicy cunt feels so good against my lips. So wet and slippery. I can feel your little clit throbbing for me, Mama. Want me to kiss it?" Her entire body jerked in sensitivity to his lips grazing her quivering bud ever so gently after teasing her for so long.

"Suck on it?" As soon as he suckled against her bud, his hand shot up to cover the cries he knew would pour out from her mouth. Her warm, thick thighs muffled the sound of her moaning and thrashing against his sheets, her cunt spasming in orgasmic waves. He couldn't help but moan around her bud, watching as the added vibration made her eyes roll back into her head. He could feel her juices dripping down his chin and neck, anticipation filling his veins as the scent of her arousal wafted up his nose. She lay shaking in pleasure as Sunghoon pulled off of her clit with a pop.

"I told you you wouldn't last long." The sight of his dripping face pulled into a smug yet innocent smile made her stomach flutter.

"Fuck.....you." She giggled breathlessly.

"It's not your fault, Mama. I'm an animal when it comes to eating this pretty pussy. You didn't stand a chance." She laced her fingers with his, pulling him until he was hovering over her. She kissed him shamelessly, enjoying the taste of her cunt on his tongue.

He shivered as her cold hands lovingly caressed his sides, trailing down to tug at the drawstring holding his sweatpants up. He let her pull the knot loose, fingers pushing both his sweats and briefs down until she couldn't reach any further. He took over, discarding the clothes haphazardly and settling back between her legs. A desperate groan escaped his throat as his cock settled in between her folds, his hips thrusting instinctively. He ground his length against her slit slowly, face buried in her neck as he grunted in pleasure.

"Fuuuuck, yessssss," He hissed.

"We'll see who's having trouble lasting." She grinned evilly at the sight of his eyes going unfocused and glassy, his jaw going slack as he pushed his twitching tip into her core.

Sunghoon was already pussy drunk. He moaned like an absolute slut as she took every inch of him into her warm, wet pussy. His mind seemed to only have tunnel vision, his sight slightly blurring at the edges as his hips settled against hers. She felt an awesome sense of power at the sheen of sweat now coating his body, the shivers wracking his larger frame.

He only made it worse better for himself when he took her legs and brought them to rest over his shoulders. He rested there inside of her for a moment, before giving a tiny experimental thrust. His head immediately rolled back onto his shoulders and his hips seemed to take over entirely on their own, a fast sloppy pace igniting a burning pleasure in his stomach.

Seeing how sensitive and pussy drunk he was was making her so horny, her walls clenching around his thrusting cock as she moaned.

"Fuck." He groaned. "You've gotta stop clenching around me like that, Doll, or I'm gonna cum so fucking fast."

"I can't help it. I love when you get all desperate and pussy drunk." She teased.

"I'm not p-pussy drunk, ooooh." He moaned, his eyes rolling back in his head, drooling a bit as she clenched even harder around him.

"You're not, Daddy?"

Sunghoon was so gone he couldn't even answer her.

"Good! Fuck! So good. Pussy is so fucking good." She wasn't sure if he was talking to her or not, but the way he was whining was making her cream in excitement all over his length. His gaze lazily trailed down her body, stopping to rest between her legs, enchanted by the sight of his hard dick pistoning in and out of her tight kitty.

And with the way he was balling her up, she was almost worried about him seeing the little rolls of her stomach until she felt him take a firm hold of said rolls and use them as leverage to fuck into her even harder. Sunghoon, on the other hand, had never felt such a strong physical reaction to her body. He loved the extra bit of weight on her. He was fucking her with stars and hearts in his eyes, still in disbelief at how all of these changes in her body came from taking his dick.

"Shiiiiiit. So fucking good, Mama. Love you so fucking much." The thick, frosty glaze encapsulating his dick was making him salivate.

"So fucking wet for me. Tight little pussy is creaming my dick so good." He mumbled to himself. She tugged at his hair until his eyes met hers, biting her lip at the faraway look in his dark irises.

"Mhmm, dick feels soooo good. Love you too, Daddy." His breathing deepened, body going tense.

"Oh f-fuck! Oh fuck! Not gonna last, b-baby. Need to fucking cum." He whimpered.

"Already? My pathetic, pussy drunk baby." She felt his dick harshly twitch within her as he grew more and more sensitive.

"P-promise I'll take care of you. But I need... I...fuck! Please? I need....Mama?" He struggled, stumbling over his sentence as his brain fogged over.

And shit, he might've been embarrassed if it didn't feel so fucking good.

"What a waste of perfectly good dick."

His balls tightened in anticipation, knowing what was going to happen next. She was going to degrade and humiliate him, and it was going to send him flying headfirst into an orgasm that'd surely leave him breathless and exhausted.

"Whats the point of having such a perfect cock if you can't even last ten minutes without cumming like the touch starved whore you are, Sunghoon?"

"Fuck."

"Pathetic. Open your mouth." He opened wide, moaning desperately as she spit into his mouth.

"Now swallow it like a good boy." Sunghoon was starting to get lightheaded, his eyes once again fluttering shut in bliss as she roughly wrapped her fingers around his neck.

"Look at you. Such a pretty slut for me, Sunghoon. Aren't you?"

"Mmmm." He keened.

"Say it."

"I'm- I......." He trailed off. Sunghoon's neck whipped to the side, every hair on his body standing at attention from her smacking him. She gripped his jaw roughly.

"I don't care how close you are to cumming, or how good my pussy fucking feels. If I ask you a question, you answer me. Don't make me ask again."

"I'm a p-pretty slut for y-you." He mewled as the heat burning in the pit of his stomach reached new and unexplored temperatures.

"Yes, you are. Now cum for me, my pretty slut."

Sunghoon felt that heat spread to every orifice in his body, his toes curling, body going rigid as he tiptoed dangerously close to cumming. He dared to let his eyes drop once more between her legs, the visual of their fucking shoving him over the edge. His eyes rolled, seeing stars, as he tried to suppress the wail that slipped past his throat. He could feel his dick lurch angrily within her, aggresively spewing his leak against her cervix. Sunghoon found that the pleasure was so intense that he could no longer continue his harsh thrusts, so sensitive that all he could do was ride out his high buried deep inside of her. He whimpered and whined into her ear, moaning, begging, swearing as he filled the empty space in her womb with more of his nut than she had the capacity to hold. It dripped out around him onto his expensive silk sheets as he shivered through his aftershocks. He collapsed weakly on top of her, gasping as she wiggled her legs down off of his shoulders to rest against his mattress once again. He gripped her roughly to stop her wiggling, rolling his eyes as it made her giggle.

"You ok, Hoonie?"

"Fuck you." Her giggle turned into a full on laugh as he repeated her response from earlier.

"Drives me fucking wild when you degrade me like that. Shit. That felt so fucking good. I literally haven't had a real orgasm since the last time we were together. Unless you count the occasional wet dream." He panted, face buried in her shoulders.

"Really? You haven't even touched yourself?"

"I wanted to at first, but I'd never end up finishing because it never felt as good as when you touched me. Eventually, I just stopped trying." He snuggled into her embrace comfortably.

"Did you touch yourself, Mama?"

"Just about everyday."

"What?!" He gasped, sitting up so he could look at her in shock.

"My pregnancy hormones were insane. I craved your dick like a fiend the whole nine months."

"I might actually cry. I can't believe I missed out on that." He pouted.

"If it makes you feel any better..." He felt an instantaneous twitch in his dick as she kissed a sensitive spot on his neck. "...I don't think that particular craving will ever be fully satisfied. I think I'll always crave you. Always."

"Yeah?" She didn't miss the way his tone had dropped a few octaves.

"Yeah. I love you, Hoon."

"I love you more, babydoll." He leaned in and pressed his lips to hers in what was supposed to be a chaste kiss. But the way she was rolling her hips into his reminded him that he still had unfinished business to take care of. So he kept kissing her, his tongue slowly tangling with hers until he started to harden again within her heat.

"Are you hard again already?" She mumbled.

"It's been like a year and a half since we last had sex. I'm pent up." He grunted, melting at the feeling of her lips turning up in a smile against his.

She didn't say anything else, wrapping her arms around his neck and holding him tight as he began to move. He pinned her sweaty frame to the bed with deep, slow thrusts, the sound of juicy wet slaps filling his bedroom. He gripped her legs, pushing her knees into her chest in a mating press. He could tell she liked it by the way she tightened and fluttered around his length, a long drawn out moan escaping her.

"Feel good, Mama?" She nodded quickly, squeaking as he landed a sharp smack to her ass.

"I don't care how close you are to cumming or how good my dick feels. If I ask you a question, you fucking answer me." He teased.

"You're such a fu-fucking asshole." She'd never get tired of that cocky smirk on his face as he leaned over her on his fists. With him leaning over her now, his angle changed and he was now rutting directly into her g-spot causing her to see stars.

"Daddy! Fuck! Just like that, keep fucking me just like that, Daddy, yes!" Her pleasure filled squeals were like an aphrodisiac to Sunghoon. He picked up his pace, slamming into her spot repeatedly, feeling it swell in preparation for orgasm.

"Close, so close!" Her voice cracked as she attempted to close her legs, nearly hyperventilating as he started to suck hickeys into her neck.

"Baby?" Sunghoon groaned.

"Yes! Fuck, yes, Daddy?"

"Let's get married." He grinned into the crook of her neck, feeling the cusp of her orgasm approaching.

"Sunghooooon." She moaned, back arching, pleading to be closer to him as the thought of being his wife made her gush.

"Yeah? You like the thought of that, huh, Princess? Want me to buy you a ring, make you my pretty little wife, hmm? Maybe even give our baby a little sibling-" A startled moan cut him off as her pussy began to strangle his dick.

"Oh? Does that turn you on? You want me to breed you? Put another one of my babies in your tummy?"

"Yes! Please!" She squealed.

"Fuck, I want it to, Mama. Wanna plant my seed in this fertile little pussy and make a baby. Will you let me, doll? Let me get you pregnant again?"

She was unable to answer him as her orgasm washed over her like a wave. Sunghoon felt a wet, warm stream splash against his groin as she squirted. He kept fucking into her, bringing his thumb down to rub slow, firm circles onto her swollen, quivering clit, an arrogant laugh bubbling up from within him as she squirted again for him.

"Who's pathetic now?" He asked landing a quick smack to her still streaming cunt.

"Your dick hungry little pussy is squirting at the thought of taking my cum, but I'm pathetic? And you're still cumming, baby. I can feel your nasty little cunt squeezing around me again. I bet you want to feel me cum inside you again, slut. Like the good little cum dump you are."

He was manipulating her body to keep cumming for him. Again and again until he was satisfied. The idea of being at his mercy, of him having total control over her made her cum a fourth time, tears streaming down her face as she convulsed in orgasmic euphoria.

"Aww, are you crying? My poor girl. Dick is that good, huh baby?" He grunted.

"Those pretty tears... are gonna make me put a baby inside of you." Her birth control didn't stand a chance at this point. When she sobbed out a concupiscent, "Daddy!" Sunghoon followed her right over the edge and into his second orgasm.

His second orgasm was pure carnal rapture. Erotic, intense, libidinous, hot. It started once again as an ache in the pit of his stomach. Turning into a burning fire, the flames licking at every nerve ending in his body, a pleasure so raw that he could do nothing to suppress his cries of satisfaction. He felt like he was dying, she was killing him with the gift of a pussy so perfect he could feel the tears welling in his own eyes. He bit out a harsh swear, hips stuttering as she milked him dry, pussy swallowing and sucking and stroking every last drop of his spend out of him. He gasped and hiccuped and cried out loud enough to wake his entire block, not caring if the entire world heard how good her pussy was making him feel. He came down from his high very slowly, whimpering at the residual waves of pleasure, eyes resting shut as he listened to her ragged breathing.

"You ok, Mama?"

"I'm amazing. You ok, Daddy?" She sighed, dreamily.

"Yes." Actually, for the first time in a year and a half, Sunghoon was more than ok. He pulled out slowly, overstimulating the both of them despite his efforts. He watched contently as she stretched out, practically purring like a cat. Just as he was about to cuddle up to her soft, warm body he heard the baby cry.

"Kimmy's up," He yawned. He pulled his briefs back on before tossing her a t-shirt.

"I'll get her, my love."

She lay in deep thought, listening as he washed his hands before disappearing into the nursery. She heard him soothingly shushing Kimmy, and judging by how long it was taking him to return she assumed changing her as well. It didn't take him long to reappear, handing her the baby and resting his head on her shoulder as he watched Kimmy latch on and start feeding. He twirled her ebony curls around his finger, occasionally stroking her soft chipmunk cheek.

"Sunghoon?"

"Yes, darling?"

"I thought about what you said earlier. And I think it's a good idea... I mean I think we should. I want to."

"You mean what I said about you and Kimmy moving in?" He asked excitedly.

"That's great, baby! I'm so, so happy to hear that. I promise you, you won't regret it, Doll. This is an actual dream come true for me."

"I know I won't regret it. I want that to, but that's not what I was referring to."

"Then what...?" Sunghoon didn't dare let himself imagine she was saying what he thought she might've been saying.

"Let's get married." She stated with the softest, surest smile on her face.

Fin.

A/N: For the ones who had unanswered questions after reading part I of this series, I hope this quenched your curiosity, and was a satisfying read! I'm curious to know your thoughts so please don't hesitate to send me an ask or comment 🫶🏾

---

what if everyone voted for logan for driver of the day on sunday because bro is spending 4th of july in england

Yes yes yes take all my money 😍

would anyone read an au about mila and the boys having a huge fallout or her getting kicked out of the group?? just for research purposes yknow 👀

break the ice

pairing: tsundere!sunghoon x reader

summary: sunghoon shows that he dislikes your presence most of the time, but secretly he really appreciates your kind gestures. maybe he should’ve reciprocated it instead of pushing you away completely, because the aftermath was not pretty.

genre: tsundere and sunshine trope

warnings: lots of angst, fluff, mean!sunghoon, yelling, crying, toxic family relationship, slight mention of violence and divorce, very very very little swearing, lowercase intended

note: my first enhypen fic!!!!! i’m so excited to share this with you guys. this went a bit different than the prompt i made the poll on but it’s basically the same thing. enjoy! (also i might sound desperate but PLEASE interact with me i really need more friends here AHAHAhhhh)

word count: 3k ish

If you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

a hand slammed on top of the wooden table where sunghoon’s head rested atop his arms. he slowly looked up, already knowing who it would be since you were the only one who ever approached him. 

“hi hoonie!”, you beamed at him in excitement. your nickname for him made his eyebrows furrow slightly, but he didn’t let his annoyance completely show on his stoic face.

“it’s early morning, why are you so happy?”, he grumbled.

you completely ignored his unenthusiastic response and placed a brown disposable box in front of him.

“i made some simple fried rice, i was running a bit late today.” you smiled and slid the box towards him when he didn’t react, “i hope you don’t mind!” 

when he realised that you weren’t going to move if he didn’t take the box, he sighed and stuffed it inside his schoolbag. your smile widened at his gesture but immediately fell when you looked at your watch.

“oh no i’m running late for my next class.” you waved at him, “i’ll see you at lunch!” 

sunghoon’s eyes followed your figure as you pushed past the people crowding at the entrance of the classroom and dashed off. his eyes glazed over in thought as he contemplated about why you even put up with him everyday, afterall you were a really jolly person who’s loved by everyone. and he, he was just loner with no emotions everso.

you both had met each other at the beginning of high school. you had approached him when you found him sitting alone at lunch on the first day. you mistook it for him being lonely but he pushed himself away from everyone on purpose. since then you’ve always been around him, constantly playing the part of a friend he didn’t ask for but secretly appreciated. he still remembers how upset you were when you found out he started skipping lunch in senior year, so you started making lunch for him everyday.

he sighed once again when his phone’s screen lit up with your text message. 

y/n:

hiii

i’m so sorry i won’t be able to visit you during lunch today TT

i have the club meeting for robotics

enjoy your lunch&lt;333

and don’t forget to recycle your lunchbox!!

Read:11:20AM

his lips turned up slightly at the cheery tone of your text, brightening his mood a bit.

the soles of his worn out shoes crunched on the fallen leaves as sunghoon sluggishly walked on the pavement. the cool january breeze blew gently, leaving a trail of goosebumps on his skin. he looked above him and watched as the sun sunk into the sky, lighting up into flames of orange and yellow which set the wispy clouds ablaze. he was broken out of his peaceful gazing by the shouts of his name. he paid no heed to it and continued walking towards the bus stop. stiffening when a hand grabbed his arm, he turned his head.

“hoon did you not hear me?”, you gasped out, panting for breath. falling into step with him you giggled, “i need to start running, i get tired so easily.”

sunghoon gave no reaction and continued to walk in silence. you noticed that he hadn’t made any attempt of moving your hand away from his arm and cheered mentally at the progress. observing his features, you frowned in worry becauset his eyes had dark circles under them and his lips looked really chapped. 

“did you not sleep well last night?” you jogged up in front of him and grabbed his face, “gosh your eyes are swollen.” 

sunghoon’s cheeks slowly turned a light shade of pink at the gentle way you were holding his face. he immediately pushed your hands away and resumed his walking, slightly increasing his pace so that you would not see him blushing. you eventually caught up with him and handed him a beige coloured lip balm stick.

“use this for your lips. i swear they’ll become smooth and soft overnight, just like they were!” you attempted to make a serious face but it looked more funny, “and drink lots of water, this is a sign that you’re dehydrated.”

sunghoon watched you carefully as you babbled on about some home remedy to get rid of dark circles, the ever present blank expression etched onto his face. he felt something bubble up inside of him that happened every time at the fact that you noticed even the slightest change that he went through. he felt cared for.

“thank you”, he spoke out softly.

you stopped in the middle of your sentence and your eyes widened at his words. this was probably the first time he ever said the words ‘thank you’ to you. you felt like you had achieved some sort of big accomplishment and your face immediately broke out into a wide smile.

this feeling lasted like a warm blanket over you both the entire day.

________________________________________________________________________

you had to miss out lunch once again the next week due to another robotics club meeting, which you were the vice president of. you had a free period currently so you decided to look for sunghoon since he was in the same class. after you found him missing from the classroom, you decided to go look for him at the benches he usually has his lunch at. maybe he decided to stretch it a bit longer?

you stopped on your way at a vending machine and got him his favourite cold coffee. smiling to yourself, you resumed walking. the school dance was coming up soon and you really wanted to attend it with sunghoon. so, you were going to do everything possible to get him to like you enough to be your date. and recently he had been slightly reciprocating your advances.

your face lit up when you found sunghoon right where you thought he would be. you were just about to call his name but stopped when you saw him holding the bento box you had given him today. you decided to watch secretly to see his reaction after eating the food cooked by you. he had never really given you any feedback about it, only taking the lunchboxes from you with a small huff.

your smile dropped when you saw him walk towards a dustbin and roughly throw the box in it. was the food not good? are you not hungry?

“do you do this every day?”

it looks like you voiced this thought out because sunghoon turned around and looked at you like a deer caught in headlights. this was probably the most noticeable expression you had ever seen on his usually blank face.

“are you okay? your eyes look really red.”

sunghoon remained quiet and just looked blankly at you. why did you still care about him when you clearly caught him throwing your food away. why were you the only one who was nice to him? he was trying really hard to control himself from lashing out on you but he couldn’t help it when you reached out to grab his face.

“will you stop this”, he yelled out in frustration.

“calm down hoonie-”

“stop it, just stop it!” he spat out in anger, “my name is sunghoon.”

just when you were about to open your mouth to say something, he cut you off once again.

“i’m so sick of everyone and everything. sick of you.”

a look of hurt momentarily flashed across your face as he pushed your hand away, but you immediately replaced it with a look of concern.

“what's wrong sunghoon? you never behave like this.”

“what’s wrong is that you won’t leave me alone.” he threw his arms in the air, “you’ve been constantly glued to me like a leech and i’m so damn sick of you.” 

you felt as if your heart was being run over by a bulldozer at his exclamations. you tried really hard not to cry in front of him but you were sure he had noticed your glossed over eyes. 

“you don’t mean that-”

“yes i do”, he gritted out. “and yes, i throw your food away everyday. i don’t want your meaningless pity.”

he watched as streams of tears rolled down your cheeks. 

he watched as the girl he cared for cried silently in front of him.

you bit your lip to prevent an ugly sob from bursting out, “i’ll leave you alone then, if that’s what you think about my feelings for you.” 

looking down at your shoes you walked towards the dustbin and chucked the bottle of cold coffee you had bought for him inside it. “might as well throw this away since you don’t want my pity do you.”

tears blurred your vision as you looked at sunghoon one last time and walked away, muttering about how it was a good thing you didn’t ask him out to the dance.

but this did not go unheard by him. 

once you were gone, he dropped to the hard floor on his knees and covered his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater as he sobbed. he had done it once again. he pushed away one of the few people who truly cared about him.

his tears dropped to the floor, creating wet patches. and his heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

once again.

today was a very happy day for sunghoon. he had finally gotten rid of what was troubling him the most. 

now he had finally decided to apologise and make it up to you. 

the past few days had been torture for him. he deeply regretted acting out like that the other day. he felt like he was going crazy without your presence and whenever he saw you around school, you turned the other way and avoided him, making him feel even worse. he finally understood your importance. and maybe even about his feelings for you.

people looked at him in shock as he weaved through the crowd at the corridors with a bright smile on his face. the park sunghoon, who was always depressed was smiling today? this was shocking for sunghoon himself, but he couldn’t stop imagining what your reaction would be when he would ask you out to the dance.

he walked into the class where your first period took place and found you looking out the window with your chin on your fist. you were silently gazing outside, lost in your thoughts while your friends were excitedly talking about the dance. 

their chatter immediately died down to whispers upon sunghoon’s arrival. his figure loomed over you, blocking the sunlight, but you made no effort to look up. he cleared his throat awkwardly when you remained unmoving from your position.

“what?”, you grumbled out.

sunghoon felt something pull at his heart when he saw you turn around. he noticed how puffy your eyes were and how your face had red irritated scratches from constantly rubbing it. a wave of guilt washed over him as he realised that he was probably the cause for it.

“hi”, he spoke out meekly.

you were surprised to find him standing in front of you because you did not expect him to talk let alone even approach after what he did last week. you were even more surprised at the fact that he had a shy expression on his face. he did not look like the cold boy he usually was.

you scowled, “what do you want sunghoon?”

he flinched at the lack of your use of his nickname and your cold tone. your usually bright and cheery persona took a complete turn today. it wasn’t your fault though, he expected this reaction after what he did to you the other day.

a perplexed look overtook your features as you watched him place a glittery, yellow, heart shaped box in front of you. this emanated giggles from your friends, making sunghoon rub the back of his neck nervously.

“i’m really sorry for the other day.” he gulped, “i baked some cookies for you. i don’t know if they’re nice since it was my first time so..” he trailed off at the blank look you had on your face. 

“you really remind me of the colour yellow so i-”

“sunghoon please stop.” you sighed, “you told me i was clingy so i stopped approaching you.”

“i didn’t-”

“i really don’t understand why you’re doing this now”, you cut him off. “just go away.” with that, you turned back to the window.

sunghoon was just about to reply when the ringing of the bell interrupted him. he panicked as everyone moved around to settle in their seats. he had no choice but to leave now. 

with a heavy heart, he walked out of the class.

you were filling your bottle at the water cooler when someone tapped your shoulder. you were kind of hoping it was sunghoon, but when you turned around you were met with jake. he was the president of the robotics club you were a part of.

“hi y/n”, he gave you a toothy grin.

you smiled back, “hey jake! what's up?”

your eyes widened when he grabbed your hand and placed a big bar of chocolate. 

“i really like you and want to take you to the dance.” his grin widened, “will you go with me?” 

before you could comprehend what was happening a voice laced with poison spoke up behind you.

“no she won’t.”

the voice belonged to sunghoon who grabbed your wrist gently and pulled you away from jake. you shook his grip off of you when he stopped at the benches where you would meet up with him at lunch.

“what the hell sunghoon? why did you bring me here?”

he didn’t respond and only stared at you with a furious glint in his eye. his face was twisted up into an angry expression as he questioned you.

“were you going to go with him?”

you scoffed in disbelief, “why do you even care? aren’t you sick of me?” 

sunghoon’s face fell at your words that repeated what he said to you the other day. he remained silent and just stared at your face. you closed your eyes and shook your head.

“just stay out of my business if you don’t care about me”

you had just turned around to walk away when a pair of hands snaked around your waist and pulled you back into a warm chest.

“i’m sorry, please stay”, sunghoon’s voice came out muffled as his face was buried in your shoulder. 

you were sure that your heart was going to explode any moment now from the intimate position you both were in. sunghoon had barely ever even held your hand and now he was back hugging you. you couldn’t stop yourself from blushing like a beet.

“w-what are you doing?”

sunghoon panicked and immediately removed his hands from you, assuming that he was making you uncomfortable. you frowned at the loss of contact and turned around.

“sunghoon, you’re really confusing me.”

he froze for a few moments then took a deep breath and began his explanation.

“that day..” he looked you in the eyes, “i didn’t mean anything i said.”

you looked at him intently, urging him to continue.

“you know how my parents got divorced last year right?”

you nodded. his mom was really toxic and controlling and used to emotionally abuse sunghoon’s dad. she was an alcoholic and sometimes lost control of herself leading to her showcasing violent behaviour. with the support of their friends and family, sunghoon’s dad had finally gained enough courage to divorce her.

“yeah so my mom has been fighting for custody of my little sister.” his voice cracked, “and at that time things looked good for her.”

he sniffed and looked down at his feet, “neither my sister nor did we want her to live with my mom. she would’ve ruined her life as well.”

“i took my anger out on you instead and i feel really horrible about it. you’ve been nothing but kind to me since day one, even after how coldly i treated you.”

his eyes welled up with tears and turned red as he tried to stop himself from crying. he looked so broken and hurt right now, and you wanted nothing more than to hold him. and so you did.

wrapping your arms around his torso you tried to calm him down by rubbing his back. he slowly reciprocated your gesture

you spoke softly, “i’m so sorry you had to go through this hoon. you and your family deserve none of this”

he sighed in relief at your reuse of his nickname and tightened his grip around you. your words were simple, but comforted him like no other.

“it’s okay, everything is fine now. my dad won the case and i finally feel relieved for once.”

you pulled back from him at the revelation and smiled in glee.

“really? that’s amazing, i’m so happy for you!”

you were back to your normal, jolly personality which sent a surge of joy through sunghoon, making him give you a full smile. you gasped in surprise.

“oh my god, your smile is so pretty!”

sunghoon’s cheeks turned rosy at your compliment and shyly buried his face in the crook of your neck, making you giggle. who knew a boy who behaved so coldly was such a softie.

“i never threw out your food by the way, except for that day because i had no appetite”, he stated guiltily. “you are an amazing cook.”

“thank you sunghoon, but”, you paused. “i don’t think we can be friends.”

sunghoon pulled away from you in alarm. did he mess things up that badly?

“not after those amazing cookies you gave me.” you pecked his cheek softly, “you have to promise to be mine.”

sunghoon chuckled in relief, “you really got me there.” 

“i promise to be yours, love.”

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr

˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱

I love this sm, angst with no comfort 🔛🔝

✈︎ our forever is done

sunghoon should’ve known you’d find out eventually, but he was too late.

pairing : figureskater!sunghoon x gn!hockeyplayer!reader

warning : blood. injury from glass. crying. sunghoon is heartbroken. sunghoon is deeply in love with the reader. betrayal. angst. break up fic. angst no comfort. no happy ending. bet au.

wc : 2k

note : js a short one i wrote literally 2 minutes ago

“Please, i’m sorry” Sunghoon sobbed as he kneeled on the ground, his knees bleeding from the broken pieces of glass under them. His hands were wrapped around a shattered picture frame, fingers pressing against the larger shards of glass to keep them from falling, as if it would mend the glass back together.

You didn't look at him as you were emptying your designated drawers from his dresser into a small suitcase that you had let him borrow for his tour. You were blinded by rage, your eyes swollen with the tears that you've shed for your broken relationship. Sunghoon had promised that he would be different, that he was going to treat you better. “I’m so sorry” He repeated again and again as his drunken mind ran, thoughts spewing with the tears leaving his mouth.

“Am I that unloveable?” You temporarily paused your actions as the words shakingly left your mouth, the pain unmistakingly filling each symbol. At his silence that followed your question you let a scoff leave your mouth, disbelief filling your eyes. You spun around to face the boy kneeling on the ground, his hands now bloodied from the glass puncturing them from his carless hold on them.

Sunghoon was looking at you as if you were the one who broke his heart, as if you were the one who played with his heart for some stupid validation from your friends. “Did you really hate me so much that you had to bet on my love? Sunghoon, you were my everything” He looked down as his eyes burned, his teeth coming out to bite at his bottom lip. “But all I was to you was some stupid game” You turned back around towards his dresser, your eyes finding another framed photo of you two. “God, I was so stupid to think that someone could actually love me”.

Sunghoon’s voice went unnoticed to you, his words carrying the weight of the world but never reaching your obit. “I love you more than anything, more then everything”

You grabbed the photo from the dresser, allowing your eyes to trace over it one last time. In the photo you looked happy but he looked ecstatic. You were standing beside him, your arms tightly wrapped around his waist as you smiled into the camera, unaware of the loving gaze coming from the man beside you. Sunghoon was smiling down at you like you’d won the lottery, his cheeks pink from the words you’d shared moments before. You recognized that photo as the day he had officially asked you to be his girlfriend, a month after he first asked you out- the day he claimed as his “favourite day ever”. God how naive you were to believe him, to believe you'd ever meant anything to him.

And like the tear that fell down your face, the photo fell with it. Then the next photo, then the next. You grew angrier with every photo that fell, your heart causing a physical burn in your body. For somehow who never loved you, he had a weird amount of photos of you. The wall above the desk was filled with polaroids, all either of you or the two of you. His bedside table had two photos, one was a photo of you from a week after he asked you out, it was a photo of you after the first hockey game of the season.

The other was another photo from the same hockey game, but it was the two of you together. He was wearing one of your jersey’s, his face painted in strips of your college team's colours with a huge sign in his right hand reading “Y/N’s biggest fan!”. His other hand was wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you flesh against him, your skates and equipment still on. It was the first game he's ever been to, and it was your first time letting someone wear your personal jersey.

As the last photo hit the ground you heaved, your back rising as short breaths left your tight chest. As your head cleared up a bit more you could faintly make out the sound of Sunghoon’s frantic voice, the sound only growing as you turned to face his bedside table, advancing towards the last two photos- his favourites.

Before you could step any closer Sunghoon grabbed your arm, forcing you to stop. “Please stop, don't touch those, please” he begged as his hold grew firmer. You turned your head to look at him only to see him looking back and forth between the broken frames on the ground and the untouched ones on his table.

You could see the pain he was going through, his face red from crying, his eyes swollen from the tears relentlessly falling from them. His eyes were the worst. The eyes that usually held the utmost love for you were now staring at you in horror. He genuinely looked like he was going to pass out.

“Please, you can do anything but break those. I don't care, trash everything else, but please not those” his voice broke with every other word leaving his mouth, one of his hands leaving your wrist to harshly rub against his eyes, his bottom lip wobbling in an attempt to conceal his cries.

You just shrugged his arms off and turned away, walking back towards the closet not caring for the glass on the ground. You picked your suitcase off the ground and pulled it into the closest, grabbing more of your clothes to throw them in.

Sunghoon moved like he was in a haze, kneeling back onto the ground. His hands rapidly, but gently, grabbing the photos from the ground, carefully trying not to scratch or rip any of them in the process. His hands reached from photo to photo and he shook, pulling them to his racing heart. He gazed down at each of them, his heart breaking with every new photo.

His heart, if possible, dropped even further as he heard your suitcase zip up. He rose to his feet, the photos still against his chest as he watched you walk towards the door, his other hand reached out to grab steady you as you walked over the glass. “Be caref-” the words died on his tongue as you turned around and glared at him.

“You don't get to tell me what to do, act like you care for me” you spit with venom, your voice not coming out as strong as you would've liked, not that you cared right now. “Not after what you did to me, to us. I never want to see you again” Within seconds Sunghoon was in front of you, his head shaking in denial, his long hair falling down in front of his face. “Please, y/n, don't leave me. You promised me forever”

You looked into his eyes as you spoke the next words, leaving daggers in his heart that would cause his heart to bleed for days. “Our forever is done, Sunghoon.”. He once again shook his head in denial, “No it’s not, it's barely started. We haven't traveled to your home town yet, we haven't ate ice cream in the middle of the winter while skating together, we haven't graduated college and got our own place, we haven't adopted the three cats were saw at the shelter, we haven't done anything.” he grabbed your hand, his fingers leaving more blood trails against your wrist, you didn't say anything which prompted him to continue.

“I love you so much, please. It's true our relationship started with the bet” he watched as your head tilted down, your quiet sobbing filling his ears. “But our love didn’t. I've been in love with you since I first saw you in grade school. I have loved you since we first bumped into each other at the seesaw. I loved you while I watched Jake bring you to prom after I spent months planning my proposal. I loved you way before the bet, before it all started.” he stood there waiting for you to respond, his head pounding as he sobered up from the night that ruined his life.

It was true, he asked you out after getting betted on it. He foolishly agreed to let Niki, a freshmans, dare. They told him that he could never make a hockey player fall in love with him, a figure skater. He knew he shouldn't have taken the dare, and broke it off the day before your first date. He spilled his feelings to his friends, telling them about how he's pinned over you for years, that you’re the only person who has ever looked at.

His friends finally understood why Sunghoon never paid attention to anyone else, never dated or kissed anyone within his whole twenty two years of living. It finally all fell into place, until his house of cards fell.

Sunoo, the only sober one, had called you from the bar, telling you that Sunghoon was begging for you. After hearing you agree Sunoo meant to hang up, he really did, and soon he will wish that he had double checked. You also didn't realize you weren't hung up until your phone automatically connected to your car's speaker, the voices coming out all throughout your car.

You allowed yourself to giggle over the mistake and reached over to end the call. But before you could you heard a distinctive voice questioning Sunghoon, his words made you freeze. “Dude, when will you tell y/n about the bet? It's been three years, she deserves to know”. Your world crashed in from around you the longer you listened, hands gripping the steering wheel as you drove to the bar.

The second you reached the bar you disconnected the call and stormed in, your eyes searching for Sunghoon. The second his eyes met yours his face lit up, a bright smiling coming across his face as love filled his body. The boys noticed his wiggling body and automatically knew that you were there, he only ever acted like that for you.

Sunghoon stumbled to his feet as he ran over to you. His arms wrapped around you and his body melted into your hold. He rubbed his cheek against yours as quiet “I love you”’s left his mouth. The boys walked over to meet you, none of them except for Sunoo noticing your odd behaviour due to the alcohol. Sunoo tried to meet your eyes but you avoided it, just looking down at Sunghoon’s back. Your arms that usually wrapped back around the boy now laid limp against your side. His cheesy ‘i love you’s were usually met with your own, but now you were silent.

After helping Sunghoon into the car and buckling him as he stared at you with a lovesick smile on his face, you started your car and began your way home. Sunghoon reached out and grabbed your hand, his fingers clumsily entwined with yours. At one of the stop lights he leaned over to kiss you, and you allowed it because you knew this would be his last time ever kissing you, which was unknown to him.

After you got to his apartment and unlocked the door you finally exploded, accidently knocking into his dresser during your fight causing one of the photos to fall. And the rest led to where you are now, him crying while staring into your eyes waiting for you to respond. Except you didn't.

You just pushed him off of you, uncaring about the way he stumbled back into the wall, the photos crumbling under his hold. A few of them got caught on a sharp edge and cut, matching Sunghoon’s heart. He couldn't breathe, everything around him blurring as the lights flickers in and out between the edges of his eyes. Soon black filled his vision, his head tilting back as he fainted.

The door to the apartment across the hall from him slammed open, the boys running into his open room to see what all the slamming was. They all froze at the door upon seeing the state of not only the room but their best friend. “Oh my god” Sunoo whispered in horror, his head snapping back down the hall, watching as the elevator closed with you in your suitcase standing beside you as you were crouched down in the center of it, crying.

It then clicked for him, it clicked for them all. You'd found out, and left him.

[JUNGWON] Happy Jjongday🔥🔥

I will kms this is too cute, it's 5:13 am rn omd 😭

୨ৎ — With Love, Sunghoon

pairing: non-idol!sunghoon x fem-reader

synopsis: Almost is sometimes never enough, Sunghoon needed a tutor and Y/N needed the extra credit. What happens when two failed lovers meet again after years of running away and misunderstandings?

w/c: 23.3K :o

tags: teacher x teacher, first love, baby baby (?) angst, sunghoon kinda a dick, then he turns into a loser LOL, lots of gussy gussy fluff at the end, niki and jungwon cameo as hoon’s gremlins. And yes hoon blonde obsession.

a/n: oh em gee, its been MONTHS. been so busy with irl stuff and other responsibilities I've neglected dazed-hee </3. BUT pls expect more content to come out soon because I am stressed and writing helps me destress HAHAHA. ending is not how I would like but I honestly did not want to scrap this fic and start a new ): this is little fic was supposed to be a present for my hoon girlie @hoonvrs AND IT STILL IS! i hope everyone enjoys and pls lml what you think! ALSO With Love Series going on mini break bc I have so so many ideas I want to write about I can't be limited to this series ASDAKJSD

likes & reblogs are encouraged thank you!!

“So class I’m happy to say you don’t have any homework this weekend.” You sighed, placing all the files you went through from the past hour on the side as the class cheered lightly,  some even clapping at the thought of a free weekend mixed with fun and more studying.. 

“But—” you interjected, biting back a small smile as some of them instantly stopped cheering; some even holding in groans while you pointed at the calendar on the wall. 

“Don’t be surprised if you walk into class Monday with a quiz on your desk about cell biology and functions.” You hastily announced, a slight grin on your face finally hearing the groans and complaints travel through the room, quickly turning around you began cleaning the whiteboard while bidding goodbye to your students. 

“Hey be happy it wasn’t a real pop quiz— and I told you what unit it’s going to be about!” You reasoned out loud in the hall, smiling at some of the girls in your class who argued it was guys in the back doing most of the complaining. Compared to the other teachers you felt like you were quite lenient with the students, making class and learning as interactive and fun as possible. Being one of the youngest teachers you made it your job to sympathize with the students since you were in their position not that long ago. 

“Ah wait–” You called out, grabbing onto two sneaky individuals hiding behind the girls on the way out. 

“I need you two to stay back for an hour of tutoring starting next week. If you don’t you won’t have a passing grade for eligibility.” You warned. 

“Ms.Kim please our coach moved practice to after school hours and he’s been really strict about being there.” the boy plead, his eyes glistening brightly looking down at you. 

“Well Jungwon maybe we shouldn’t have failed the last unit exam and for you Niki— start doing corrections you’ll earn half your points back.” You nodded toward the other who was sulking softly. You knew the pressures and tight schedules student-athletes went through and you honestly felt bad, the two weren’t even doing terribly you just wanted to make sure they had leisure with their grades when it came to eligibility check. 

“What about I have a talk with your Coach and have him push back practice by an hour or something, I’m only doing this for the two of you; trust me I know what it feels like.” You sighed patting their shoulders as they nodded to your offer. Heading to the faculty room you were greeted by other teachers finishing up for the day, you weren’t sure who this new coach was but practice usually took place early mornings. Partly so it doesn’t run into afterschool activities and studying sessions but also because the weather was more favorable most of the time. 

“Ms.Kim, how are you today?” Your boss greeted you by the printer, greeting her back with a smile you saw the way some of the female coworkers were actively glancing out the window, chatting amongst each other with shy grins painting their lips. 

“I’m doing good Mrs.Go, just printing out a few practice sheets for tutoring starting soon.” 

The older lady nodded at you with a warm smile, when you first got the job a little over two years ago Ms.Go stepped up as the new principal from her vice position. You’ve always felt welcomed because of her and she always had nothing but good and encouraging things to say to and about you.

“I’m glad you’ve found your pacing with the students, I get nothing but compliments from them and their parents— keep up the good work.” she rubbed your shoulder softly bidding you goodbye. Shaking out a small sigh you stood tapping the table as the beeping of the machine printed what felt like endless amounts of pages.

“Oh my god he’s so good-looking.” 

“Did you see when he was running with the students earlier?”

“I heard he’s the new literature teacher who’s also coaching the basketball team.” 

Gathering your things you acknowledged your coworker's excited expressions; curiosity overtaking as you made your way to the window to see what all the fuss was about, all you could see were the student-athletes running back inside towards the gym. A flash of blonde catches your eye before forcing yourself to peel away knowing there were lots to do and students to expect soon.

Seeing a few students greet you on the way back to class had your shoulders high in pride at the familiar faces of kids you’ve tutored before. Many of them respected you as a teacher but also saw you as a friend— well most. 

“Ms.Kim!” turning at the group of boys your brow raised as a few of them offered to help carry the stack of papers you were gripping back to class, their shoulders bumping against each other to gain your attention which only prompted a short scoff under your breath. Being one of the younger teachers you also noticed the uncanny amount of attention you received from students, girls asking for advice about dating and what to look forward to in college while the boys were being— well boys.

“Coach is looking for you guys, something about wanting to run another lap.” cutting between them you were glad Jungwon showed up when he did, brows furrowed slightly at some of them murmuring lowly to each other. After everyone left the boy greeted you with a dimple, one you saw frequently in class from what you recalled.

“I talked to Coach and I don’t think he’s willing to push back practice.” You heard him sigh, placing the stack of paper he insisted to carry on your desk as you pushed your fingers into the back of your dress pants.

“Well I would love to talk to your Coach, he knows if you and Niki don’t qualify for eligibility you won’t be able to play till the next check, right?” Your voice confused with shock seeing the boy nod with a conflicted expression on his face. 

“Where’s Niki?” You asked softly sitting at your desk checking the time on your wristwatch knowing students were going to show up anytime soon. 

“He’s distracting Coach Park while I’m here.” 

“Well tell Coach Park, when he’s done with practice to come to my class.” You ordered him, filing some notes in the file cabinet before standing up heading to the lab stations. With a nod Jungwon left swiftly, his sneakers squeaking against the tile floor as you leaned against the table, appreciating the evening sun seeping through the tall windows lining the class walls with your eyes closed. 

A knock on your door pulled you from your thoughts realizing some of your students came for their quick tutoring session. “Alright, should we get started?” You greeted them, a feeling of sentiment washed over you. 

It was bittersweet in a way. 

“Ms.Kim we’re almost done with the worksheet!” 

“Okay once you’re done just leave it on my desk and you three are free to leave.” You nodded, going back to the rows of beakers and test tubes you were prepping for the planned lab on Monday. You’ve always loved science, being a biochemist double major in college, you’re practically a pro at handling bunsen burners and microscopes. You weren’t sure when you decided to be a teacher and to be completely fair, you’ve never thought to be one when asked about your future endeavors as a kid.

But maybe it was from the multiple classmates you’ve tutored as a side job and extra credit, you found you had a talent for working with others and teaching them what you’ve mastered best. The satisfaction of seeing others click with the information and concepts you present always made you proud, proud that they could grasp complex ideas, and proud that you were an influence and part of the reason why. Nostalgia overtook your thoughts recalling back about your college days, from friends to strangers and those in between. 

Brushing your fingers against the clear tubes absentmindedly, a bitter smile took your lips— almosts were never enough sometimes. It was nearing five in the evening and you were finishing the final touches to each station carefully, making sure all the lab equipment was properly placed for the students, by now the ones who came have left and you were here alone in your thoughts.

“I heard you wanted to speak with me about something?” You heard someone call from the door, slightly muffled as you were quickly packing up the mess you made from preparations into the table cabinets below. 

“Yeah actually, it’s about your afternoon practices—” You replied slightly vexed, none of the other coaches have changed their practice hours so you weren’t sure why the basketball team in particular did. 

“I won’t be able to change or push back practice since that’s the only time that works for us.” huffing out a sigh you quickly set the extra box of test tubes back into their protective cases in the lower cabinets. 

“Okay well, you know if your athletes don’t qualify for eligibility they won’t be able to play correct?” confused as to why you weren’t getting a response you stood up with a huff. Your eyes widened while your words jumbled to get out, realizing who the new coach was and who you were talking to. 

It’s been a while, years to be exact since you last had eyes on him. He was blonde now, and it fit him well; just as tall as you remember taking in the way he was leaning against the door frame with his hands shoved in track pants. His slightly raised shoulders and wide eyes told you he was just as surprised to see you, a stoic expression overtaking his shocked one when he straightened his posture. 

He was exactly the same as he was before, but so different. 

“Sunghoon?” his name became foreign to you over time, like a bitter fruit you bit into and wished to forget. A wave of emotions swirled across your face you were sure of it. His eyes flickered around the classroom and a small sigh could be heard through the thick tension that had formed between you two. 

“Looks like you’re doing well,” he mumbled jingling the keys in his pockets as he watched your frown deepen further. 

“I’m not changing practice times Y/N, don’t ask me again.” his voice was firm and cold, you saw the way his eyes flickered over you once more before turning to leave.

After your brief conversation with Sunghoon, he left you standing there questioning if what just happened— really happened. With both of your hands gripping the table behind you, the sound of him making his way through the hall confirmed that it was indeed Sunghoon.

Park Sunghoon whom you fell in love with in college, Park Sunghoon who also broke your heart as well. It was him. He was the new coach that is already causing trouble the same way he did back then in your mundane life.

“Alright and the enzymes only react during the active site, get it?” Tapping your pen against the desk you sighed out of relief seeing your classmate nod enthusiastically finally understanding the unit concepts from the past lectures. It was warm, with the University library lined with large windows you wouldn’t be able to get a good nap here without the bright sun bearing down on your back, that’s why people nap in the reserved study rooms instead.

“So if the enzymes are heated or enter a different pH environment what happens then?” You asked carefully— there was no hope for the kid but for extra credit, your professor offered you to tutor students. You could only hope a higher being blessed you with the ability to input knowledge into these empty vessels because fuck; how were people this bad at studying? 

“They become unnaturalized?” She answered unconfidently, eyes lighting up seeing how your head tilted giving her a slight sound of approval. It was wrong but at least it was close.

“Close, denatured,” closing the workbook you nodded slightly acknowledging this was a lot better than when you first began tutoring her. “Keep studying like this and you’ll be caught up before the final in no time.” You smiled softly as she quickly packed her things. 

Oh, the things you did for extra credit, from extra lab hours to volunteer research assignments you needed every single point you could gain to balance out the fact you had no extracurricular and social hours to back up your pretty GPA. 

“Thank you Y/N it feels so good to finally understand what’s going on in class.” she gratefully thanked you, gripping the extra workbooks you recommended to her enthusiastically. With a smile, you bid her goodbye before peering back down at your laptop to see what you had next— a meeting with your professor. 

“I must say the classmates you are tutoring have been improving quite a bit, slowly but surely.” Your professor said looking at his notes with a satisfied nod. It was true, it started with your friend Naeun who was failing before despite passing with flying colors now. You now tutored kids who weren’t even from your own lecture, some in different years even.

 “If there are any other students you need me to tutor I’ll be more than happy to take them during my free time.” You added quickly, rubbing your palms against your jeans to mask the shake in your leg from his peripheral. 

Before he could answer, a knock on the door caused you to turn as a rather tall boy came in with a guitar case in one hand and a packet of papers in the other. With his hair messily put together he looked like every other boy in your class, but the moment his eyes met yours you quickly shifted back into your seat; trying your best to avoid the heat running through your face. 

“Professor Lee I’m here to talk about my exam..” he announced demeaningly. You could only watch as the older male stood up, pulling the boy to sit beside you in the empty seat while you shifted looking at the grade on his recent exam. 

Yikes.

“Sunghoon this is Y/N she’s in your lecture and also one of my tutors.” you reluctantly nodded toward him in acknowledgment as he did the same. “She’s one of my best students and I’m asking her to tutor you in hopes it’ll bring your grade up so you can pass the class.” With wide eyes, you glanced at Sunghoon, a hand rubbing the nape of his neck assuming he was weighing out the options he didn’t really have. 

“And you know you need to pass the class to graduate Sunghoon, I advise you to do your best with Y/N or you’ll run into big trouble once finals come.” He sighed, gathering his things while glancing at the clock on the wall. While bidding the two of you goodbye, you faintly heard him whisper to the boy a small ‘be nice to her’ before the door closed shut. Picking up your bag you pulled your phone out looking at your rather busy calendar for an open spot in your schedule. 

“I’m free every Tuesday Wednesday and Friday in the late afternoon, just pick two days and let me know before next week. Or you could tell Professor Lee and he’ll relay the info to me.” you could only give him a shy smile despite him sitting there blinking at you. With an awkward nod, you gave him one last forced grin before making your way toward the door.

“Wait!” His sudden exclamation startled you slightly, a quizzical stare greeting him while your fingers were already grazing the cold door handle.

“Where are you going right now?” He briefly asked, adjusting the grip on his guitar case while stuffing his exam back into his backpack. 

“The library.”

“I’ll come with.” 

Your solo studying session today suddenly turned into a plus one, watching as your new friend pull his things from his bag, you failed to hold the slight snicker earning his curiosity. Shrugging at his raised brow, you opened your laptop pulling out a practice workbook with a smile.

“Could’ve fooled me with that study setup if you never told me you were failing Biology.” You nodded at his set of pencils and eraser neatly placed in front of him, his frown turning into a grin knowing you were right, unfortunately. 

“Listen I’m good at everything but science, it might be hard to imagine but I’m a TA for my English professor.” he boasted proudly, sitting up in his seat as you smiled humming in acknowledgment. 

“Oh and to answer your question from earlier, I’m able to do Tuesdays and Wednesdays, I just finished an important project so I should be available a lot more often now.” He politely added, taking in your gaze as you nodded slowly before turning back to your workbook. 

After an hour of studying you noticed Sunghoon was actually quite diligent, not getting distracted by his phone nor did he daze into space even you’d catch yourself doing at times. If this was your conclusion then you weren’t sure where his problem was that had him failing— terribly. 

“That’s wrong.” You softly stopped him, pointing at the question he’s been working on for the past couple of minutes after seeing the frustrated expression overtake his face promptly. 

“I’m not good with genetics, I get the whole structure and basic….stuff, but once it gets to this I get lost.” He admitted running his fingers through his hair. Peeling your gaze away from the mole beside his jaw you coughed before opening up your notes.

“From what I see you're making it way more difficult than it should be—” You started, pulling your chair beside his before sliding your tablet across the table with a holistic breakdown of the concepts you took notes on for the genetics unit. After a few minutes of explaining and correcting his question, you allowed him to scroll through your notes a little longer, grinning at the fascinated look in his eye as he complimented the way your notes looked. 

“I can send you the notes later if you like them that much.” You chuckled, scooting your chair back after feeling his elbow graze your own, a little too close you figured. Hearing no response your eyes naturally found his again realizing he was looking between you and the space now in between. Once he realized you were waiting for a response, he pushed your tablet toward you quickly, his pen tapping against the table softly with a nod.

“Please if you don’t mind, I don’t know how you have time to do them like that they’re really nice.” He complimented, checking his phone before handing it to you with the contacts app opened. “Well I don’t do much of anything else so I have a lot of time to spare.” You snickered. 

“Oh come on, nothing? Like nothing seriously?” He asked you again, holding back a wide grin noting your name displayed on the screen along with your number. “Why do I look like I do a lot of stuff?” You questioned, his nod surprising you somewhat. 

“Yeah I mean, our classmates always say how fun and nice you are to be around so I just assumed,” he explained truthfully, from what he’s heard, a lot of your classmates had nothing but good things to say to you. 

“I only go out with a few of my close friends from time to time but seeing that you pretty much—”  glancing at his duffle bag you assumed was for whatever club he was a part of and his guitar case beside it; you could tell he was a busy man. “ —you literally do everything, it could look like not much for you.” You smiled genuinely. 

“Well trust me when I say I rather have a few things to focus on over this,” he emphasized, nodding toward all his things, earning a wholehearted laugh from you quickly disagreeing. 

“Yeah? I really wish I could put myself out there like that, I’m tutoring to make up for the fact I don’t do anything else but study.” You shook your head, playing with the pen between your fingers with your gaze set on the sunlighy shining on the table.

“Well I wish I didn’t do all of–”

“Don’t lie.” You cut him off, turning towards him quickly causing the both of you to laugh softly, your lips turned into a grin as you forcefully peeled your gaze away from his dimple that caught your eye. Sunghoon could only admire you from the side, smugly grinning at how you’d get so shy from meeting his gaze while your fingers busied themselves playing with the pages from your notebook. 

He understood why all the guys on the team wanted you as their tutor, what was better than a pretty girl spending her evening with you in the library or cafe? Your cute flustered expression when he smiled at you or when he caught you smiling back, it all made sense to him. Sunghoon made a mental note to inform the others you weren’t looking for any more tutees, and he only hoped they will believe him.

When he was called into the professor's office he really thought it was the end for him, with graduation around the corner and a science class holding him back from sweet victory; nervousness was an understatement. Shitting his pants would’ve been a better way to describe the feeling pooling in his gut when he saw a big red 43 plastered on the recent unit exam. But when he saw your small confused face peering up at him he knew he lucked out this time. 

You were known to take kids who look like they don’t have a single thought behind their eyes and tutor them into high B passing students. He was sure anyone else tutoring him would’ve helped with an extra brain processing his mistakes, but he was glad it was you. 

Third week of tutoring and you noted Sunghoon worked hard— and worked harder when he knew there was a reward for his accomplishments. A coffee stop before class or a meal before practice, you kept your promise and rewarded him for the commitment you knew he put in. What started as a reward for his improving quiz grades turned into what you felt was a normalized occurrence.

‘Wanna grab a meal from the cafeteria? I’ll drop you off after.’

‘Let’s meet before class for a bit, I want to see you.’

‘Are you free later today? We should go watch that new movie you were talking about.’

He explained it was just the athlete in him addicted to the dopamine he got when he succeeded, specifically doing good in class; but you argued it was just a way for him to trick you to agree into doing things he wanted. Hell he didn’t even know how dopamine worked up until last week’s study session. 

“Sunghoon you can literally ask for anything else, I’ll even buy you dinner again just not this.” You sighed, holding up the singular ticket he presented you as his wish for earning a 90 on his exam; the highest he’s received yet. 

“Y/N you said I can ask for whatever I wanted.” he pointed out, tapping the back of your seat with his fingers watching you groan at the thought of attending this weekend. 

“This is seriously what you want?” watching his court nod your lips pressed in a tight line before sighing in defeat. A promise is a promise, and you were one to keep promises. 

“Fine just please study this well for the next exam coming up.” You didn’t earn a response, but the cheeky dimple and upturned brows told you that if studying well meant pulling you to do things like attending his game to support him— Sunghoon promised to turn into Einstien. He’ll be reborn as Issac Newton himself if that’s what it took. 

“Oh and—” turning back to him your eyes widened slightly feeling his fingers graze against your back, a simple action you still haven’t grown used to lately. “Sunghoon, no.” you refused shaking your head wholeheartedly, seeing him pull out a jersey from his duffle bag with a smirk on his face as he laughed to himself.

“You didn’t even let me explain.” He reasoned, eyes twinkling watching you continue to disagree, mumbling about how ridiculous this was since you already agreed to even go in the first place. 

“Y/N how weird would it be to show up and not show off who you’re supporting?” He hummed, pushing his jersey from last year over to your side. “Hoon I think people are gonna think it’s weird regardless.” You whispered, knowing the type of people he was around would already view it odd you came in the first place. Sunghoon was someone you thought you’d only admire from afar, his likable personality and seemingly good looks made a memorable first impression not only on you but apparently to every living— breathing eligible girl on campus.

The looks and whispers anyone with a working brain would dread were to be expected if you walked into that stadium with his jersey, you were already getting looks from simply walking with him to class. 

Sunghoon was just someone you weren’t supposed to mingle with, as crazy as it sounded; opposites weren’t supposed to attract. There were plenty of girls in his social circle you knew were interested in him— it just felt wrong, scary even that you and Sunghoon were this close. 

“Hey…don’t think like that,” He reassured you, brushing a few strands of hair away while you stared at him, admiring the pinches of electricity shifting across your cheek when his fingertips grazed against your skin. In the many weeks you and Sunghoon have hung out, you realized he was a lot different from what you assumed. 

He was sensitive; you concluded that when he received his first quiz two weeks after your first session. His grade wasn’t— what the two of you were aiming for, and it was evident in his expression how disappointed he was in himself. After your constant reassurance that learning was about process and progress; not instant results, you grew to appreciate his soft grin and high shoulders that were filled with confidence and motivation. 

But he was also very attentive, even on days you didn’t feel your best Sunghoon was always understanding without having to say anything. And you were grateful, you tend to hold back and push through with plans even when you didn’t feel in the best shape, especially for your tutees. Sunghoon didn’t jest around much on days he saw you weren’t responding how you usually did, and he still managed to find time to ask if you were okay. Cheering you up in ways that had your cheeks flushing and heart racing. 

It was like skinship came naturally for the two of you, what started off as friendly nudges and taps on the arm shifted to his hand casually drawing lines on your back, your fingers tracing the veins on his arm or your shoulders casually touching while sitting beside one another. Things just felt comfortable with him, you realized that the one day the two of you were at his apartment, the library was starting to become a distraction but looking back— you weren’t sure if his place was much better.

While working on genomes and thermodynamics the two of you often shared snacks with one another, however when your eyes caught his pink lips around your bottle of coke you realized then and there that you and Sunghoon were more than tutor and tutee, more than friends. He made that known when you felt the same pink lips press a kiss on your temples after bidding you goodbye, making sure you made it inside your condo before he left, a small pep in his step noted while catching one last glimpse at him.

“Just think about it, hm?” he nodded toward you, bottom lip pulled between his teeth watching you roll your eyes before stuffing the jersey in your bag, ushering him to continue studying much to his resistance. 

“So are you gonna wear his jersey?” your friend sang with a smirk ghosting her lips, watching you hastily fix your hair in the mirror that she quickly helped you with not that long ago, fixing the top you picked to avoid that exact question purposely. It was the day of his game and you were already running slightly (really) behind schedule from a last-minute tutoring session you were asked to do despite making sure to state this weekend— you were unavailable. 

The game started a couple of minutes ago and it would take almost thirty minutes for you to get to the arena.

“Do I look good?” You asked her nervously, palms clammy against your jeans realizing what you got yourself into. 

“You look cute babe, Sunghoon is gonna miss every three-pointer with you in the crowd.” She joked, yelping in response when a dry shampoo bottle was thrown her way. “Naeun I’m serious, people are already gonna look at me weird for being there— the least you can do is make sure nothing is stuck between my teeth.” You whined, checking yourself in the mirror again out of pure paranoia.

“Y/N the only reason why they’ll be looking at you is because the Y/N is there for Park Sunghoon, so go! You’re late already.”

“Your seat is in row 4, enjoy! Go Cougs!” Awkwardly grabbing the ticket you were greeted by rows and rows of students cheering for the ongoing game, it was almost halftime and the team was a little under fifteen points. Excusing yourself through the crowd— you realized where exactly Sunghoon’s extra ticket landed you. 

Maneuvering through, you did your best to ignore the glances from some of the girls you recognized, they were people who frequently hung around the team; people whose crowd you weren’t a part of. Gratefully you weren’t seated beside any of them but figured this was the guest section for the team, you saw both students and family seated in the area. 

“Oh? Are you here for Sunghoon hyung?” A voice pulled you from your observation, glancing down you noted a younger boy looking up at you; dressed in your school colors with a sticker decorating his rather full cheek— a slushy in one hand and a pretzel in the other. He was cute, his wide eyes waiting for your answer as you smiled at how adorable he looked. 

“What made it obvious?” You asked him in a whisper, giggling slightly when his eyes crinkled in a smile pointing back at you. 

“Y/N!” Sunghoon’s sudden voice made you snap your gaze to the court, your eyes meeting his almost instantly. Breathing was human nature, a biological process of the body responding to your blood oxygen levels with an automatic retort that you’re born with instantly; yet somehow when you see Sunghoon every now and then, you forget how to breathe sometimes. 

The few strands of hair sticking against his temples distract you from his absolutely dazzling smile and shining eyes that grew in size making you smile shyly. Glancing down, you coughed awkwardly, feeling his jersey's smooth fabric against your fingers. Before heading out the door, the white jersey caught your eye and had you changing in the livingroom before leaving.

You were here for Sunghoon and you wanted him to feel like you were too, and by the deep dimple showcasing on his face, you knew you made the right decision. 

Raising your brow— you quirked your head towards the scoreboard, you didn’t need to say anything because Sunghoon knew exactly what you meant from your expression alone. 

‘You invited me to your game just to lose?’ snickering at the way drops of sweat shook from the tips of his hair, you scoffed watching his shoulders raise proudly when a few of his teammates noted your presence in the crowd. You were never one to be interested in sports, but after another quarter into the game; you were one of the many that were standing in your seat, watching the tick of the clock count down and the score narrow with each pass on the court. 

“Sunghoon..” You whispered, fingers clutching in anxiety noting the clock hitting the twenty-second mark, he needed to shoot a three-pointer for the team to finally take the lead and ultimately win the game. With his eyes darting across the court Sunghoon has never felt this much pressure in his whole entire life. The game was whatever, he had plenty more games to play and win, but the past few months have been hell for him. 

With graduation around the corner, he didn’t really have any more time to ‘play’ on the court, plans after graduation? No clue. Did he have enough credits to actually graduate? Another problem at a later time. Was the girl he’s been dying to ask out finally warming up to him? Well... 

Meeting you has been one of the best if not the best thing that has happened to him in a while, not only were you practically carrying him to the graduation finish line, you seemed to make even the unexpected— exciting, comforting even. Things just got more bearable for him since you’ve been around.

Even now with the whole fate of the game twirling between his fingers, he couldn’t help but smile knowing you were there in the crowd, there for him. The moment he saw you sitting in his jersey he knew these feelings weren’t just mere lingering feelings that come and go, what a plot twist you were. 

“Sunghoon!” Your voice always caught his attention, even now in a crowd of roaring support or those who wished for the opposite, it was like he could only hear you. He wasn’t sure what to expect when he first walked into the professor's office that one day, but he wouldn’t wish for it any other way. 

“Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball?!” Blinking at your unexpected exclamation his body automatically did what he did best, react in stressful situations— muscle memory from what he recalled you teaching him. With the sound of the ball rolling around the rim, Sunghoon could only let out a sigh of relief when the roar from the student section doubled, quadrupled even after the basketball bounced on the court after scoring the final basket. 

They fucking won.

Jumping from excitement you finally understood why people attend games in person, the experience was so different, exhilarating. It was like regardless of who you were, everyone was there cheering for the same thing, even the girls who were looking at you earlier were cheering with you, bright smiles filled with pride and joy despite how indifferent they were to you earlier. 

In the midst of the crowd, you made your way through the bodies of people making sure to say goodbye to the small boy who accompanied you during the game. You were grateful he made sure to explain the rules of the court— it only made things easier to catch on. Gasping in shock, you felt someone grab your wrist stopping you hastily, Sunghoon. 

“Congrats on winning Hoon!” You cheered, smiling widely as other students and teammates congratulated him with pats on the back and chants of victory. “It’s hard not to when someone yelling at me from the stands, ‘Sunghoon shoot the fucking ball!’ ” he mocked jokingly, his fingers finding the slim of your wrist after you brought your hands up to push his shoulder. With your eyes glued on each other, you couldn’t help but grin softly as you felt his fingers melt down your wrist and between your own. Even with the chaos around the two of you, with him, things felt like the way they should be.

A comfort you never felt with anyone else in midst of what used to be unfamiliarity. You found yourself following Sunghoon to the celebration after, your laughs filling the night sky as the two of you sat on the rooftop of the science building; looking over a lit-up field filled with Uni students drinking in victory. The cool breeze tickled your lashes as you took in the smell of flowers and plants that lined the railings and wooden pergola that was decorated with string lights. You’ve been here a few times for a couple of labs and projects, legs dangling over the side admiring the sound of distant music from the field afar.

“You take all girls you talk to here after your games?” rolling the bottle of beer between your palms, you raised a brow when he hesitated, his dark ones furrowed as a contemplating hum left his lips. Gapping you slid over slightly, mumbling in disbelief ignoring his chuckle promising he was just joking. 

“You might be like…the third?” He continued, scratching the nape of his neck watching your eyes double in size before you nodded to his honest answer. “So, who was it?” You asked nonchalantly. 

“To be honest I don’t think Sieun counts if she was my lab partner last semester, right?” he sighed, attempting to grab your hand only to be pushed away quickly. Sunghoon loved this part of you, trying your best to hide the relief in your eyes by shaking off the hand he purposely placed on your shoulder. It was cute, your slightly upset expression and groans accompanied by puffed-out cheeks, he loved it all. 

“Sieun?” You repeated, recognizing her as a classmate from your past Chemistry course. You didn’t notice but his eyes were trailing across your shoulders that rose absentmindedly from realization, taking the chance to move closer his lips bit back a smile— glad that your eyes were finally looking up at him. 

Turning away with a cough, you were able to catch yourself before falling right into his little charm, if it wasn’t Sieun there was still another girl who was here before you he hasn’t mentioned. It seemed stupid really, what were you expecting— someone like Sunghoon had girls waiting for him around the corner at every class, he was different from you. It was stupid for you to ask the question knowing you weren’t going to like the answer.

“I guess Professor Oh doesn’t count either— she was the one who lead us up here for the whole experiment and all.” he finally stated, with a sly smile his chuckle rang in your ear watching you realize he was messing with you the whole time. Much to your horror you were glad that was the truth.

With your legs swinging over the side, you flinched slightly when the breeze blew against your skin. It was pretty chilly that night and in a rush you forgot to grab the jacket you had laid out on the couch. The sound of Sunghoon shuffling pulled you back into the moment as you watched him shrug off his varsity jacket, placing it over your shoulders much to your dismay. 

Muttering a small ‘thanks’, you giggled when Sunghoon nudged your side with his elbow, making it annoyingly obvious he wasn’t going to move away anytime soon, you were used to this, his little antics that always had you smiling to the point the apples of your cheeks ached. “Thanks for coming today Y/N— I mean it really.” he softly muttered meeting your eyes that smiled back at him. 

“Of course, I came— I told you I keep promises.” You whispered back, your smiling fading slowly feeling his finger slowly grab onto yours.

“So if you promise to keep coming to my games…you will?” he challenged, gripping your hand softly as you nodded firmly. 

“And you promise we’ll keep studying together, even after the next exam?” 

“Only if you want to Hoon.”

“Then can you promise—” he paused; bringing your intertwined fingers up to his lips, the glint in his eye shining brighter than the string lights that could be mistaken as fireflies above you. It was a feeling you’ve never felt before, you wonder at times if meeting Sunghoon in these circumstances was a coincidence, maybe if you weren’t so different from him you wouldn’t think this was all a mistake. But in moments like this, when it was just the two of you in each other’s ambiance and warmth you hoped those mistakes only took you to the right place— with Sunghoon.

“Promise we’ll stay like this.” his words echoing as the two of you sat gazing at each other intently, his thumb rubbing circles around your skin as you nodded softly with a small smile. How strange was this you thought, sitting here with him felt like a dream— but you were wide awake. Feeling him lean in slightly; your fingers gripped his as the warmth of his sigh cascaded across your cheek, his bangs tickling your forehead feeling his nose brushed against yours softly. Inhaling softly you gasp when his lip touched yours ever so gently, his mole you’ve only glanced at when he wasn’t looking was staring right at you.

“Yo Sunghoon! You going to that party later this week?” A sudden voice surprised you from down below, pulling away quickly you chugged a gulp of beer eyeing the frat symbol on the jacket the boy was wearing. “Yeah, it’s Jay’s birthday, right? Think I promised a friend I was going.” he huffed out, slightly unamused from the disruption leaning on the side with one hand. 

“Hey Y/N…” the guy greeted, his smile hinting a teasing tone before walking away quickly back towards the field. “You should come this weekend it’ll be fun, promise?” You heard him whisper, his lip brushing the shell of your ear softly and you had no choice but to nod.

 And you truly wished you didn’t.

The weekend came in a blink of an eye and you found yourself surrounded by classmates you’ve seen around but never got the chance to mingle with. You would’ve never guessed you’d be asking Naeun for help picking an outfit for tonight but you found yourself not believing in a lot of things when it came to Sunghoon. 

“Waiting for me?” You heard someone say from behind, his familiar warmth spreading across your back as a smile made its way to your lips. “Sunghoon.” You whispered, turning to embrace him as you admired his styled-up hair and simple grin. 

All sense of insecurity washed away feeling him pull you in a hug, greeting his friends passing by with a bright smile as you held your drink over his shoulders; a red cup in one hand while the other patted him softly. You couldn’t help but laugh feeling him turn you in different directions to say hello to everyone greeting him. He was here with you, and he made sure to make that painfully obvious. 

Since that night on the rooftop, neither you nor Sunghoon addressed the almost kiss the two of you shared—embarrassment on your part and your gut, more like Naeun’s input, told you it was gonna happen tonight…something was. At this point, it’s been a few months since you and Sunghoon have grown close, and your feelings have grown over time and so have his affections around you. 

Sunghoon wasn’t afraid to make it known you were with him, whether it be holding your hand as the two of you walked on campus or stopping by classes to pick you up after lectures. He’s made a home in your apartment and you could only wonder where things would lead for the two of you if he just popped the question.

“Sunghoon the girl you showed up with just ran out.” You heard his friend whisper, his eyes suddenly darting around before pulling out his phone. You knew Sunghoon came with a friend, and you couldn’t help but worry as well seeing how panicked he was scrolling through his contacts. You’ve seen her around before, a music major— you guessed the two of them knew each other from a class or club. 

“Hey can you stay here and wait for me? I’ll make it quick I promise baby.” You heard him hastily whisper, leaving you standing there nodding absentmindedly as he made his way through the crowd. 

When twenty minutes turned into an hour, you found yourself sitting on the couch, checking your phone in hopes of seeing his name pop up asking where you were in the unfamiliar place. Your heart immediately jumped feeling the buzz of your notification ignoring the way the people around you were wondering why you were suddenly sitting alone, silently alone after socializing with others not that long ago. 

“Naeun?” You answered quietly, digging your fingers into the fabric of the couch as you tried to tune out the mix of music and voices you couldn’t seem to understand from around you. 

“I’m at the party waiting for Sunghoon but—” You flinched; yelping when someone jumped over you— laughing a hasty ‘sorry’. You reassured her you were fine but by the way your voice was trembling, she knew you were lying. 

Biting your lip you could hear her concern laced voice asking you again if you were okay. Naeun offered to come along but you assured her Sunghoon would take care of you, Sunghoon would be here for you, Sunghoon—-

“Hey you’re here with Park right?” an unfamiliar voice pulled you away from call, a faint ‘I’m on my way’ brushing past your ears. Nodding, your eyes widened in realization it was Sunghoon’s friend from earlier. Naeun had hung up long ago and despite ignoring the male trying to pull you into a conversation, your mind couldn’t help but drift wondering where Sunghoon disappeared off to.

“I’m honestly surprised Sunghoon kept you around for how long he did.” Snapping your attention back to the man, your furrowed brows were enough to tell him he finally piqued your interest. “Sunghoon left a while ago with some girl, she wasn’t the one who he showed up with but he seemed pretty happy to leave.” The male shrugged, your head shaking in disbelief taking another look at your phone still cleared of notifications. 

“No he said he was coming right back— he promised.” You argued softly, tensing when you felt him throw an arm over your shoulder before a red cup disrupted your view. 

You weren’t sure how many cups you’d had since then, the colored lights blurring together while your cheek was leaned against whoever the fuck was closest to you. Naeun was nowhere to be seen and you could feel the alcohol hitting your system harder than it ever had before. Sunghoon still wasn’t here, you didn’t want to believe he left you here for another girl— but with no text and no sign of him anywhere, maybe it was true. His friend from earlier seemed to have disappeared as well, your last memory of him was asking you to take another shot before someone else piqued his interest. 

“Y/N. Y/N stand up.” Shaking your head you threw your arm over the familiar girl who mumbled to whoever was next to you in annoyance. 

“Sunghoon—” 

“He’s not coming let’s go.” You heard her firmly say, dragging you carefully out of the house with your feet tripping over themselves down the stairs. Catching a brief view of the clock you realized it’s been four hours since Sunghoon said he’d be back. 

“Naeun let go he’s coming back!” 

“Y/N he’s not! I asked around while looking for you and they said he fucking left a while ago, he’s not coming so snap out of it.” she struggled to say, her teeth gritting together from dragging you to sit on the curbside watching the realization settle in your eyes he really did leave with someone else—when he promised. 

You were prepared for this, sort of, someone like Sunghoon was just never made to be with someone like you, it was too good to be true. 

You ready for this,or so you thought, the utter realization that maybe this was all fun and games for him until he got bored and moved onto the next. 

You expected this, though you wished for it to never happen, yet somehow it still hurt.

“He promised.” You whispered, a tear escaping down your cheek as Naeun stood there in pity, slowly engulfed in the cloud of grief overtaking your eyes and mind— and all she could do was hope the pain would go away, or so she promised, but since that night you weren’t too sure about promises anymore.

“Ms Kim!” 

“I’m so sorry, is everyone done with the quiz?” You asked while standing from your desk, smiling at the students who nodded in unison as you collected the sheets of paper passed to the front in stacks. You’ve had a rough weekend, on top of preparing for the upcoming faculty meeting you were still processing the reality that Sunghoon was indeed the new teacher in the literature department—and the new coach. With the bell ringing you dismissed everyone who seemed to be in high spirits after hearing that you weren’t assigning any homework for today. 

Sitting back down you hummed in acknowledgment seeing both Jungwon and Niki by your desk, the coffee you had earlier cold in your palms grinning at the both of them shifting in their place nervously. After your talk with Sunghoon last week, the boys told you he was adamant about practice hours— being that stubborn you didn’t expect anything less.

“So can I expect to see the two of you later for tutoring? Or am I going to stop by practice to pull the both of you out myself?” Arduously looking at the two boys, you knew the answer was the latter; by their tight smiles, they didn’t have much of a choice. 

You were hoping— slightly hoping Sunghoon had it in him to not be an asshole making you walk all the way to the gym where practice was being held, especially not in your stilettos. He’s always been this way, the first couple of days the two of you studied together you concluded he wasn’t much of a listener nor much of a compromiser.

And when it was time to start after school tutoring, you could only tap your heel as it’s been ten minutes since you were scheduled to start.

“Mother fucker.” You hushed under your breath, shooting up in your chair hastily, you did your best to ignore the looks from your students waiting for tutoring to start at their desks. With your heels clicking against the tiles you quickly found your way to the gym, the sound of whistles and basketballs bouncing against the gym floor echoed through the opened doors as you walked in. 

It was a familiar feeling, quite familiar noting Sunghoon from across the court with a clipboard in one hand and a whistle in the other. You weren’t sure what overcame you, but you found yourself bee-lining towards the blonde— his brow quirked up from your sudden appearance.

Switching practice times was something Sunghoon just— felt like doing, well not really. Seeing you here was one of the last cursed encounters he expected to face after the last time the two of you met eyes years ago. 

When your widened eyes greeted him that evening, something instantly sparked in him, nostalgia? He wasn’t sure if it was the good or bad kind yet— it felt surreal in a way. The one girl he wished he met sooner back in college was the science teacher at the new high school he was transferred to for the spring semester. 

You were different, so different from the last time he’d seen you. Your usual smile that warmed his heart back then was now replaced with an unfamiliar one, a tired gaze that seemed so distant from the ones that used to look up at him in affection. Your hair was longer than before and it was weird to see you dressed in business attire when he only remembered your casual ones. 

And then it hit him—it has been a while. 

He liked to believe things stayed how they were before, he hoped they did— and maybe they were.

“I told you to change practice hours, how are you a literature teacher who lacks comprehension skills?”

Well, it wouldn’t be the first time he was wrong about something.

Practice was going well today, the students were finally back into a healthy energetic mindset after weeks of exams. He was aware of the eligibility rule and your request but seeing how tired most of them were, he knew it was important to let his athletes have that extra three hours of sleep. As a former student-athlete, Sunghoon knew how important it was for rest and recovery, he’ll do what he has to do to ensure his students got just that. 

“You said I lack comprehension skills?” he huffed amused, his eyes on your figure recovering from walking across campus, your face visibly flushed from being winded and irritated. 

“Ms.Kim this is a closed practice, does that mean you lack common courtesy to follow rules?” he argued back, roughly shoving the clipboard to the assistant without hesitation– earning a surprised grunt from the poor man.

You could practically feel your eye twitch watching the smug look overtake his features, enjoying the frustration seething from your eyes in real time. 

“Maybe don’t leave the gym doors open next time if it’s a closed practice, plus Coach Lee let me in.” You grinned phonily, your upturned smile dropping instantly pushing past him as your eyes scanned the court for Niki and Jungwon. Many of the students greeted you politely despite being in the midst of drills and training. Calling their names they immediately ran towards you, a conflicted expression painting their face as a whistle was blown directly behind you. 

Flinching you were greeted with a now annoyed Sunghoon eyeing the two boys behind you who were ready to leave with their things. 

“Move and I’m not going to repeat myself, Mr.Park.” You exhaled tremulously, your words not really reaching his ears after noticing exactly how close you were after turning to face him. 

“Don’t disrupt my practice again or I promise you’ll be dealing with a lot more than conflicting hours,” he whispered, his brows furrowing at the way your pupils wavered softly. You almost scoffed really, here you were face to face to Park Sunghoon after a long time.

You had every right and opportunity to confront him, yell at him even; asking why he left that night and why he never bothered to call or text after. The two of you after that party went back to how you were before— strangers.

Instead here you were merely inches away staring at the mole beside his nose you remember clearly. His minty breath fanned your lashes after the huffed out a sigh of disbelief. He could have ended up at any other high school, why did it have to be here? 

“I don’t think you’re someone who should be making promises Sunghoon.” You sneered in a whisper, his eyes widening slightly before dropping the silver whistle from his lips. Scoffing softly you called for the two to follow you and thankfully, they did. With your heels clicking against the court, you did your best to ignore the burning sensation spreading through your chest, nodding at the students bidding you goodbye with a smile. 

“I guess your talk with Coach didn’t go well the other day.”  You heard Jungwon whisper, a small chuckle to lighten the mood which you appreciated. “Let’s just say Coach Park and I know each other well.” opening the door to the class with a huff, you apologized to the other kids with a smile. 

“We can come every other day— if that’s okay,” Niki suggested, setting his bag on the floor taking a seat next to his teammate.

“Is he going to allow you to come every other day?” You asked with a raised brow,  seeing the both of them nod genuinely you heaved a sigh and smiled softly. And to your surprise, they did come every other day, you haven’t seen Sunghoon since then, and thankfully so. 

Making sure to ignore him in the faculty lounge during lunches— you even committed to coming early hours in the morning to print all your things just to avoid him in the storage units. It’s been exactly four days since your heated argument with him— Naeun saying it was fate when you mentioned it to her over the phone. 

“Fate my asshole.” you cursed, gripping your shoulder bag as you got off the terminal making your way to work. It was the day of the faculty meeting you’ve dreaded while preparing for— Ms.Go appointed you as the new head of the science department at the last meeting and not many people were too fond of that. Greeting your other colleagues your eyes trailed over those who were smiling while greeting you a hello. Some were your friends and seniors you looked up to while others were just those who respected you and your efforts for your job.

“Someone is sitting here—from my department.” Blinking at the women your gaze settled on her hand blocking the chair you were going to pull out to sit in. That was a lie, you knew it was. With good people also came the ones who weren’t that nice when the news dropped that you were appointed to the new position. Nodding an apology you couldn’t help but chew on your bottom noting the only other seat left unoccupied. 

Slowly setting your bag on the floor you pulled out all the paperwork needed for the meeting starting soon, ignoring the obvious stare on your right as you huffed out a sigh. Not able to ignore it any longer you gave the blonde a curt nod, brows furrowing as he didn’t acknowledge your greeting at all. 

“Oh? Y/N!” A familiar voice caused you to look up from your files, grinning at the familiar smile walking back to his seat with a cup of coffee. 

“Coach Lee!” You snickered softly, eyeing the extra cup of coffee he pushed towards you trying to ignore the looks from some of the older ladies down the table. Jeno was another Coach at the school for the soccer team who was also head of the math department. Being similar in age the two of you got along as assistants when you first started.

“Thank you..” giving him a soft whisper, you admired the swirls of creme floating on top of the expresso, a sigh escaping from you feeling the warmth spread between your fingers. After a couple of savoring sips, you paused as something—more like someone, was bothering you. You could only watch as Sunghoon glanced between you and the cup of coffee between your palms. His dark brows in a stern frown before scoffing and fixing his tie; it was the first time you had a good look at Sunghoon outside of his baggy sports attire after so long. 

His tall nose and pushed-up hair perfectly enhanced his face while the white dress shirt snugged nicely against his shoulders. He had grown into his features, that boyish charm now replaced with a cold stare and small frown. 

What was his problem? It wasn’t like you wanted to sit here in the first place, sneering slightly you took one last sip; purposefully glaring at him when your eye caught his gaze once again. 

“Are you ready for the presentation? I know it’s your first one since becoming the head of your department.” You heard Jeno ask you, nodding you smiled glancing at all the paperwork you were able to compress into a ten-fifteen-minute presentation.

“I’m not going to lie I had some trouble since there’s so much to talk about but— I think I did good.” You nodded, catching his smile as he pulled out his own set of notes. “Well, you ever need my help you can always ask me, you know my hours and my email.” With a thankful nod, your smile dropped hearing someone scoff beside you— a little too loudly you noted, glancing at the blonde with an irritated glint.

Before you could ask him what his problem was Ms. Go entered the room as everyone stood to greet her respectfully. As she caught your figure her smile widened in acknowledgment that you knew many people took note of, with everyone taking their seats you could feel your palms grow clammy as each department presented one by one. Jeno’s bright smile and convincing talk about changing the math curriculum passed quicker than you expected which meant one thing, it was your turn soon— next actually.

“Ms.Kim you’re up.”

Heaving out a shaky ‘yes’ your legs felt like jelly as you gathered all your notes, glancing at the other teachers in your department giving you an encouraging smile as you passed them walking to the front. The sound of your heels clicking against the floor seemed to be the only thing echoing in your thoughts as the gazes and judgmental stares seemed to have filled your vision making you visibly tense. It was true, there were many teachers here with way more years of experience and opinions but Ms.Go and the board choose you for a reason— that’s what you kept telling yourself. After a brief introduction, you noted Ms.Go’s intent gaze causing you to stutter slightly. 

“After working with the students and seeing the science program here, I have some changes that I believe would be beneficial.” Despite the scoffs heard from a few, you could feel the relief wash over you as Ms.Go nodded writing down some notes. “Looking at the curriculum a lot of the lesson plans are very outdated and don’t tend to the needs of the students now— I suggest we change our approach on what we expect from the kids. Things have changed in the new age which makes it only appropriate to change how we teach as well.” 

“And we trust the kids in your hands why?” Trying your best to hold back the frown leaking through your stiff smile you turned to Ms.Jung who was part of the literature and linguistics department, honesty you were expecting this type of question to come up somewhere in your presentation. However, when some of your other colleagues began dabbling in the conversation, you couldn’t help but feel overwhelmed at the amount of unwanted opinions directed towards you and the other teachers in your department. 

“Why would I take your word when I’ve been doing this for as long you’ve been alive.” Ms.Jung scoffed– her face clearly satisfied by the mess she caused making you look down in embarrassment. 

“What type of meeting is this if no one listens to what is being presented.” The sudden silence was caused by Sunghoon’s slightly irritated tone, his brows in a deep frown while tapping his pen against the desk in a steady beat. 

“Who do you think you’re talking to young man? I heard you’re new here and that’s how you treat your seniors—”

“What kind of seniors treats their younger colleagues that way? Ms.Kim is obviously really passionate and good at her job if she’s the science department leader… I think she knows better than anyone here what to do with the students,” he interjected, observing the way Ms.Jung looked taken aback by his sudden comment, a smug look casting over his face.

“It’s true since Ms.Kim became one of the main teachers— our science sector has seen tremendous amounts of improvement in overall scores and individual performances.” Ms.Go added with a nod, a small genuine smile making its way to your face with a humble nod. 

“Working with Ms.Kim I trust her enough to listen— I hope everyone can as well.” Surprised, you gave Jeno a grateful grin before you continued your presentation, your eyes catching Sunghoon’s deepen frown making you look away confused every once in a while. He was the one who helped you in the first place so why did he look so upset? 

However, you were unaware that his frown wasn’t directed towards you— but instead to Jeno who added a comment earlier he considered unnecessary, very unnecessary. 

After the meeting ended you searched for Sunghoon who already made his way out of the faculty room. You wanted to thank him for deescalating the situation earlier but he never gave you a second glance the moment you sat down again beside him. Making your way through the crowd, your eye searched for the blonde male making his way down the hall before pausing at your voice calling for him. 

“Hey.” You huffed fixing the bag on your shoulder, awkwardly glancing down to his hand gripping his own bag beside him. The cold air blowing from the conditioner made you shiver, you didn’t realize but your voice came out a lot softer than you expected. “I just wanted to say thank you— for earlier you know.” You could only watch as Sunghoon stared down at you, his head nodding in acknowledgment before turning away slowly. 

“Wait!” You didn’t know what prompted you to grab his blazer, maybe it was the way you haven’t heard his voice in so long, but all you wanted was to savor this moment with him a little longer. 

“I’ll buy you a coffee, my treat.” the offer quickly slipping from your lips.

“This wasn’t what I was thinking.” You heard him scoff beside you, leaning against the counter with his arms crossed as you mixed coffee and some milk from the faculty vending machine. With a grin you shrugged your shoulders, ripping some sugar packets before whisking with a spoon, a drink that you often had going through hell and back since working here. 

“Well Coach Lee and I would whip this up for each other ever since the both of us started as assistants, it’s my treat so be grateful at least.” You mumbled, throwing away all the trash while admiring the way the coffee swirled from the momentum of your mixing. His expression still cold as he pulled his phone from his pocket ignoring your statement.

You didn’t know why but this was making you slightly annoyed— hurt even. The two of you were colleagues now and you were doing your best to extend an olive branch despite what happened in the past. The least he could do was— 

Your eyes widen slightly at an unfamiliar scent mixed with the bitterness of the coffee, lashes fluttering as you felt his arm brush your chest faintly. Grabbing the cup of coffee from your grasp, you could only watch as Sunghoon took a sip from the drink, his furrowed brows relaxing softly seeing you look up to him in a daze. 

“I didn’t say I wasn’t going to drink it— jeez.” Taking another long sip, your lips lifted slightly seeing him finish the drink in one go. 

“The coffee isn’t going to run away from you Mr. Park slow down.” You huffed, picking up your bag before making your way to the door; a slight warmth spreading throughout your chest hearing him call out your name as you didn’t bother turning back. 

Since then none of the other teachers have bothered you in and out of the faculty meetings, you weren’t sure if it was because of Sunghoon or the fact they’ve accepted your new position— but it was one less thing to worry about. And to your surprise since your little barista session, the two of you kept it respectful and greeted each other whether it be passing in the halls or coincidentally seeing each other in the storage room; it was better than acting like each other’s existence didn’t matter because deep down— you at least knew it did.

“Right, so you need to move all the pH variables to this side and—” While helping some of the kids, you were interrupted by the sound of your door opening hastily. Immediately fixing your posture, your eyes widened at the sight of Sunghoon standing at the doorway with Niki and Jungwon. His gaze looked around the room almost in embarrassment with his hands shoved in his track pants. It was the first time he was in your class after your first encounter at the start of the month.

“I forgot it was your day with the kids— here.” You heard him say, pushing the two who were still dressed in their athletic clothing as he huffed a cough from your soft greeting towards the both of them. 

“Well they’re doing really well recently so I wouldn’t have minded the two of them staying with you.” Pushing your hands into your back pockets, you stood next to Sunghoon after giving Jungwon a small pat on the back with a sigh. With the first big game against the rival school coming soon— you understood the need for practice on the court. 

“If I didn’t know what both of you were talking about I’d assume it was about co-parenting,” Niki mumbled throwing his bag on the floor after you failed to greet him the same way you did Jungwon. Hearing a few snickers from the other students you quickly denied his statement, blinking rapidly as you moved away from an equally flustered Sunghoon who was mentioning extra laps around the track if Niki didn’t get to work.

After a few minutes of settling everyone in their seats, you noted Sunghoon still by the door, “Are you not going to return to practice?” You asked him, watching his eyes flicker back to you after gazing into space again.

“Oh— my assistant has it covered, the boys are just doing a practice game so I don’t really need to be there.” He nodded ruffling his track pants quietly. With a nod you motioned for him to have a seat at the lab tables if he wished to. 

“Well you’re welcome to stay if you want to, I’m just going to go over a few topics before assigning practice worksheets.” You told him with a grin. Sunghoon obviously took the opportunity to stay as for the past couple of days; he purposely changed his route around campus to find more opportunities to run into you. 

It’s just been—- so long. Hearing your voice again somehow pulled him back into this warm serenity he’s been missing for years. Your soft laugh that rang like wedding bells in his ear resurfaced drowned out thoughts and emotions that kept him up during the night and distracted him during the day. Things didn’t end the way he wished—nor did they end the way he thought they would. 

He should’ve never asked you to go to that damn party, the two of you were fine before that whole hell hole. Sunghoon trusted you— trusted you when it came to tutoring him to his full potential and trusted you to be honest when it came to if his hair looked weird in the morning. But he never thought he had to question his trust when it came to your feelings towards him. 

One minute he left to go find a friend who was light years braver than him when it came to words of love and confession— and the next he came back to you with another person; another man. An acquaintance, one who never really had good things to say about him. To see you leaning against him with your face cradled into his neck sharing shots together, made his stomach drop.

Dread? Sorrow? Regret? 

What else was there to say, he hadn’t asked to you be his girlfriend officially yet since he was so scared. 

Of rejection? No. Commitment? No, so what was it?

There he was, standing in the midst of the party seeing you slip away from his fingers in what felt like seconds, and he never looked back. 

Pride? Prejudice? He was sure the english novel that was apart of his assignment at the time persuaded the labels listed but things seemed better off this way. He never reached out and you didn’t either— apart of him hoped you did, but seeing you pass him on campus reassured him that maybe he was expecting too much; and he did. 

Years later despite what happened, he couldn’t help but feel a part of him yearn for that fulfillment again. To feel your hands cradling his face, your voice warming him in love and solace. But he concluded since those days being someone who feels too deeply— is just too exhausting.

“Woah—” Sunghoon mumbled out of his daze, your hand slamming slightly on the lab table startled him as the students left one by one as it’s been almost an hour since tutoring started. “Tutoring is over, you can leave now Coach Park.” holding back a grin, you couldn’t help but snicker at his flustered expression, something you haven’t seen in a while. Sunghoon stood hastily— embarrassed as his two athletes were glancing at him with slight snickers.

“Hey! Be ready for practice tomorrow, on time or I’m adding two extra sets to each workout.” Despite Niki and Jungwon’s teasing gaze towards him as they left— ones you didn’t notice, Sunghoon couldn’t help but shift in place seeing you struggle to put all the chairs on top of the tables for evening cleaning. 

Moving to help you, the sound of the clock ticking and chairs scratching against the tile floor filled the unfamiliar silence that surrounded you btoh— unfamiliar in a way where for the first time in a while for you and him; the silence didn’t have to hurt anymore.

“Are you heading home soon?” You heard him ask beside you, glancing out the window with the sun setting in the distance; you let out a tired sigh with a nod. 

“Okay I’ll go grab my things and walk you to the lot, meet me in front.” Before you could deny his request he was already out your door in a blink. A small snicker escaped your lips as you swiftly went to gather your things, you weren’t sure what was going through that little mind of his at the moment, but a part of you was glad he wasn’t acting like the two of you were complete strangers. 

“Is your car this way?” you heard him ask, the two of you meeting outside your hall before walking to the front of the school.

“Uh— I’m actually taking the bus, my car is still in the dealer because the breaks were acting up last month.” running a hand through your hair you thanked him softly for walking you this far until you felt him grab ahold of your forearm. 

“Then I’ll just take you home it’s probably on the way—”

“No! I’ll probably stop by to get dinner, it’s fine really you don’t have to.” You reassured him, doing your best to pull away from his grasp that only tightened the more you resisted. 

“Then let’s just catch up.” His suggestion makes you pause in shock, “I should probably eat dinner too.” How could you say no, he was looking at you with those hopeful eyes again, a glint of excitement in them when you unconsciously nodded to his offer.

“Auntie can we have two bowls please!” you called out— greeting the workers you saw often at the local noodle shop with a smile sitting down across Sunghoon, you thanked the waiter who was placing drinks infront of the both of you. 

“You seem to come here often, is it that good?” His light-hearted comment caused you to chuckle as you passed him the utensils from the box. 

“Once you eat what I ordered you won’t question my taste again.” Slightly glaring at him your cheeks immediately lifted as his laugh filled the booth. 

“That’s what you said about that one pizza place on campus— I’m sure you remember the fish bones underneath the cheese.” he pointed out, his foot tapping yours slightly as your lips puckered at the memory of Sunghoon pulling out a few fish bones from his slice of pizza. 

It was one of your weekend dates where you offered to find a place for dinner, despite it being one of the worst meals you’ve had during college it was a sweet memory the two of you cherished.

“And there wasn’t even fish on the menu.” with your expression in a scrunch, a smile broke onto your face as Sunghoon’s dimple was full display, recalling the utter horror the both of you shared realizing the crunches on your pizza weren’t dried onions. 

“Okay this does look good…”Gawking at the bowl of hot noodles in front of him, Sunghoon couldn’t help but dig in as you nodded watching him sip the broth; savoring the taste and warmth of each spoonful. 

You and Sunghoon did have many cherishing moments together. Figured as time went by you could push down these memories and hopefully, they would fade away the same way your happiness did with each passing month. Maybe the storm brewing in your heart could wash away any traces of him you had left in your mind, but of course, those prayers went unanswered.

You hoped it was one of those instances where you missed the memories more than the person, but deep down you knew that wasn’t true. Just a mental coping mechanism to convince yourself the closure you never got wasn’t the one thing you needed to move on with what happened. 

Why? Self-depreciation perhaps, emotions do that to a person. Maybe it clicked that you simply refused to let go of the memories— feelings you felt when things were good till they weren’t as it was a reminder that what you had was a good thing that should’ve never ended. 

But maybe it needed to.

“You were right this place is pretty good.” He huffed a chuckle, watching your eyes travel back to your bowl as you scoffed slightly.

“Niki and Jungwon don’t have to come every other day anymore, they should be fine with eligibility just send them when you can.” You nodded finishing the last of your meal, Sunghoon sat watching you quietly as you hummed with each bite. You kept your habits over the years, fingers pushing your hair behind your ears ever so often to the way your eyes were unable to meet his when you spoke or caught his gaze by accident, it was all the same. 

“And I know I’ve said this already but seriously thank you—for speaking up during the meeting,” pausing your eyes met his as the soft music within the restaurant feathered your words of appreciation. 

“They haven’t bothered me since which takes so much stress off of me.” With a small laugh, you expected him to follow, but your expression falls short when you noted his contemplating eyes gazing down with a frown. 

With the two of you here in the moment, despite the cordial decency you wanted to keep, Sunghoon couldn’t help but wish to know the truth. In the few months it took for the two of you to grow close, there was always the unknown if you would be more than friends. After being accustomed to your minuscule characteristics and habits, something never truly settled right with him about what happened. 

You just weren’t that type of person.

If things never worked out between the both of you it would’ve been because a few reasons, but none of them being what he saw that night. Your slight aggression towards him now after the obvious change of attitude from that night told him maybe things weren’t the way it seemed.

“Stop thanking me, just take it as a very delayed thank you for helping me graduate.” He huffed out, making sure to keep the cordial atmosphere you tried so hard to create during work despite the curiosity brewing inside him. 

“Speaking of graduation, did you miss the ceremony? I don’t remember seeing you when I went for friends who were in the same major.” he finally spit out—his question obviously making you freeze, you weren’t expecting him to bring up anything from back then. 

But Sunghoon was always full of surprises.

“Uh— yeah I, actually attended an overseas internship so that required me to leave a few days before the ceremony.” Picking the vegetables in your bowl, you could practically feel his gaze burning holes into you. Sunghoon knew you were lying, but he wasn’t going to let you know that. 

“Are you sure it didn’t have anything to deal with what happened?” your jaw tensed as you set down the pair of chopsticks bringing your eyes to meet his. 

“And what exactly are you referring to Sunghoon?” voice tinted with anger taking in the solemn expression that suddenly overtook his face. 

“Are you recalling to the fact I was in between what I wanted to do with my major so I took an extra semester to graduate or the fact the both of us just— went back to pretending like we were strangers?” You didn’t know what snapped inside you, past anger and resentment like skeletons in a closet finally acknowledged for the first time; in a long time. 

“Strangers?” Sunghoon scoffed, trailing his eyes away from you to the empty booth beside you two in exasperation. “You think what happened was something that happened for the fuck of it? Is that all it was to you?” his tone cold looking back at you. 

Confusion? Indignation? You couldn’t pinpoint what exactly blossomed when your eyes met, but something made his eyes turn cold as the realization settled that you weren’t the only one hurting. Eyes that once looked at you with warmth and tenderness now looked at you in vexation. 

“You made a promise you couldn’t keep then left taking no responsibility like the coward you were.” slamming the money you found to cover the bill on the table, you stood from your seat in a hurry. You did your best to make things seem as if the two of you shared nothing more than a few classes back in college; normal— so why the hell did he have to show up in your life again when you were starting to realize what’s coming will be better than what was gone.

“Wait Y/N let’s just talk—”

“There’s nothing to talk about Sunghoon! You made things painfully clear that night so please just… pretend like we don’t know each other.” And with a frown you left, this whole acting normal bit was bullshit to begin with. Sitting back down in the booth Sunghoon couldn’t help but curse as the sight of your back leaving the shop quickly seemed a little too familiar. 

Instead of clarity, he left with more questions to fill his thoughts at night. 

“And you’re saying he was basically hinted you were the reason things didn’t work out.” Naeun pointed out; brows raised in revelation as the both of you were seated in your living room, cans of beer lining the coffee table alongside bags of snacks she prepared after asking her to come over. After your small altercation with Sunghoon last night you really needed another opinion on the situation— and a drink. 

“Well, he didn’t say it but it felt like he was insinuating it— I don’t know! Either way, I saw what I saw and heard what I heard, and you did too.” whining slightly you took one last gulp from the nearly empty can before crushing it within your palm. You thought it was ridiculous how Sunghoon had the impudence to turn this around on you, but what would be the reason?  

“Y/N just ignore him, it’s not worth thinking about it this much… I say you distract yourself with that cute coworker you’ve been friends with.” she chuckled passing you another can which you accepted with a frown. 

“You mean Jeno?” 

“Well— you said he was your type and the two of you get along well, I say why not.” she shrugged, nodding to the beat of the music playing from your speaker you let out a sigh of… consideration. 

It was true, the both of you always got along well, both in the work setting and away. Maybe you were too busy with forwarding your career, but you never thought about getting involved romantically with anyone else, that’s what you told yourself. 

And there was truth to it, in the years since you’ve accomplished a lot in your line of work. Aspirations became reachable goals, and you were finally at a point in your career which you considered stable for your age and experience. You wouldn’t lie and say you didn’t try to to talk to other men in these few years, but they just never worked out, they weren’t—

“Sunghoon is going to be a part of the school festival committee with you?” Blinking out from your daze, you nodded bringing your knees to your chest. “You make it sound like it’s just the two of us.” Chuckling slightly you popped open another can of beer to refresh the lingering bitterness on your tongue.

“But yes, the Science and Literature department are paired up for the festival. I’ll just do my best to ignore him but I’ll be hard if he keeps being confrontational.”

“Are you sure you’ll be fine?” Nodding at her softly you gave her a hug thanking her for coming over to make you feel better. 

“Go— your clingy boyfriend is about to call me again asking if you’re coming home.” With a smile she flicked you off before bidding you goodbye quietly in the hall outside of your condo.

Naeun always found you and Sunghoon odd, how such contrasting individuals were able to grow so fond of one another, adapt to each other so quickly and willingly. You were kind at heart with a mind that was filled with never-ending dreams while he was someone who lived in the moment with a dubious reserved mind. You’d think two people of similar nature would get along much better, but once she met her own lover in her grad years, she understood that wasn’t the case. 

“Yeah can I get one americano with milk please.” Glancing up from her phone, Naeun had to glance again to make sure what she saw— more like who, wasn’t who she thought it was. Naeun was here to have a drink before meeting with her boyfriend for a date to end the weekend, and the last person she expected to see was the guy her best friend was reviling last night.

“Park Sunghoon what are you doing here?” being just as shocked as she was, Sunghoon gave her an amused nod before walking over with his receipt. “She wasn’t lying when she said you were back huh, what are you doing getting coffee this afternoon.” Acknowledging his backpack she let out a hum when he told her he was here to fish a few assignments he had for upcoming lesson plans. 

Shifting on his feet, Sunghoon offered for them to take a seat recognizing that glint in Naeun’s glare that he knew well from before— she had questions, and he could guess about who.

“Did you know Y/N worked there before coming?” Being thrown off by the sudden question, Sunghoon couldn’t help but choke a bit on his coffee. Americano with milk and sugar, a staple he grew to love after you made him a slightly different version a while back at work. 

“If I knew she was here I wouldn’t have taken the offer.” With a raised brow Naeun couldn’t help but scoff slightly. 

“Wow you really do have the uttermost audacity.” leaning back in her chair as Sunghoon stared at her in confusion. 

“Listen I know you’re friends so you’d defend her despite anything and I’m not demeaning you for that—”

“And what would I be defending her for? Giving you a chance when other people were making her feel like she shouldn’t have? You broke her heart Sunghoon, embarrassed her in front of people who didn’t even know her.” Rolling her eyes Naeun was growing frustrated looking at the way his upset expression turned confused.

“Don’t act stupid Sunghoon people saw and told Y/N, people even told me that you left with some girl that night and never came back.” Sitting in silence, Naeun couldn’t help but cross her arms at the sudden quietude overcoming the table, the silent noise in the background filling the empty ambiance between the two. 

“Are you finally remembering now? Because I had to show up and pull Y/N off some—”

“Wait. Who told you that, who told her that? I told Y/N I was going to look for a friend— but I never left… she knows that.” A shift in his voice was clearly acknowledged by Naeun as she sat up in her seat shaking her head.

“I don’t know it was some guy she kept saying was your friend when I found her; drunk and delirious might I add, but she trusted you.” Disappointment laced her tone while Sunghoon looked away, thoughts running miles she could see, his eyes darting from the busy sidewalk outside back to the blending of coffee beans at the counter.

“I went to go talk to a friend— who I ended up not being able to find, then I came back and she was with an acquaintance I knew…he was all over her and I don’t know.” rubbing the paper cover over his cup, Sunghoon felt the weight shifting off his shoulders being able to finally talk to someone about what happened. But when Naeun didn’t respond; he couldn’t help but look up only to be met with bundled-up tissue paper thrown at him.

“You think she would really do that to you Sunghoon? She liked you, way too much for that to happen.” Hissing through her teeth Naeun couldn’t help but let out a frustrated sigh, not at Sunghoon— but to you as well. What type of misunderstanding led to two different views of what happened? 

Running his fingers through his hair Sunghoon couldn’t help but grimace at her response. “Naeun that guy she was with was someone who showed interest in her before, he was a teammate of mine and I don’t know—”

“Well that would explain why he told people you left with someone else. I found her leaning against someone else for support because that asshole got her drunk and then left to god knows where.” With his eyes doubling in size, he couldn’t exactly explain the feeling traveling through him as he chugged the last of his coffee in one go. Foolishness? He knew better than to think you would do that, a mix of internal and external variables engrained him with a different memory than what happened.

But was it wrong for him to feel slightly hopeful? 

Cursing was the only thing Sunghoon could do sitting with this new information as Naeun finally understood the grasp of how big the misunderstanding was. 

“Is she at home now?” His question caused her gaze to snap toward him with a nod. “Then I should go talk to her about this—this mistake.” Stopping him quickly, Sunghoon knew it was imprudent to confront you at the moment, with what happened a few days ago he could conclude you probably wanted nothing else to do with him.

“Well you see, I might or might not have encouraged her to move on and forget about you and everything that happened.” Sheepishly scratching her cheek, she rolled her eyes as Sunghoon reassured her it was nothing to be sorry for.

“And I may or may not have told her to take a chance with the cute Coach from the math department.”

“Oh.” 

Naeun couldn’t help the guilt taking over her expression as Sunghoon sat down slowly with a slight frown, realization hitting him that she meant Jeno. 

So you were considering Jeno all this time. 

“Trust me when I say it was just a suggestion, she seemed conflicted about it first just… try to talk to her when you can, I promise she’ll listen.”

Well, she lied.

Every chance he took to talk to you never seemed to work out for him, from seeing you in the staff lounge to the storage units and printing stations— you were ignoring him, and he knew that. 

Somehow you always finished lunch when it was his turn to have a break or you managed to print all your paperwork magically when he showed up to the storage units after calculating your routes in between classes. It was hopeless. 

“Coach!” 

“Yeah sorry, um you two not going to tutoring today?” Tapping his fingers on the clipboard, Sunghoon could only watch as Jungwon shook his head with a grin knowing he caught his coach dazing off— again. 

“Nope! Ms.Kim said we’re all good with eligibility.” 

“He’s only asking because he wants to walk us to class again… right Coach Park?” Grabbing Niki by his jersey, Sunghoon couldn’t help but pull him into a headlock as the younger boy laughed at the teasing. He wasn’t sure when kids suddenly became aware of feelings; especially his, but if you asked the boys they would’ve said it was obvious from the way his eyes followed you when you were around. Or the way his head turns immediately at the mention of your name by staff or students.

But if you asked Niki thinks its obvious from the way he always volunteers to walk them to tutoring, your tutoring.

“Sunghoon!” Letting go of Niki he turned to see Jeno greeting him coming in from the outside field with the soccer team. Being the main coaches on campus it was expected the both of them would see each other often— unfortunately for him, as the idea that you were somehow considering on pursuing something with Jeno did not sit well with him. Sending him a nod, he couldn’t help but roll his eyes as the boys greeted their ‘favorite’ math teacher. 

“It’s not that hard to do math you know, I could help the two of you if you need it.” He sighed nonchalantly, crossing his arms as the two scoffed at him chugging their water bottles. “No offense Coach Park but why would we ask you if we have a math teacher who’s willing to tutor us?” Shaking his head Niki walked away leaving Sunghoon gawking, the whistle falling from between his lips as Jungwon shifted on his toes awkwardly. 

“Coach it’s true, plus Mr.Lee is super nice don’t worry! I always see him with Ms.Kim in the morning before class starts— yeah hold up!” Grinning at his teammates he gave Sunghoon one last knowing grin before running off to the others. 

“What do they know about being super nice?” He mumbled, blowing the whistle while motioning towards his assistant coach to go through with another round of cardio. 

It was funny really.

“Do you know today’s date?” Glancing between you working on a few notes and the other teachers talking about their plans for the upcoming school festival, he was grateful for agreeing to participate. Despite being one of the only people in his department to take charge of the role, Sunghoon truly was here to find a chance to talk to you— even if it meant asking for today’s date.

Seeing you weren’t paying much attention to him, he made sure to clear his throat a little louder this time. 

“What’s today’s date?” 

“It’s the twentieth…” Dropping his pen on the table, his jaw clenched hearing Jeno answer instead, his tone slightly annoyed at Sunghoon asking you the same question repreatedly.

“I wasn’t asking you.” He mumbled quietly, causing the latter to roll his eyes as he stated the date for Sunghoon to acknowledge again. 

He didn’t care. 

“What’s today’s date?” Sunghoon asked again, this time directly asking you with a tint of hope in his voice.

“O-oh it’s the twentieth.” You told him with a small smile, going back to answering questions some of the other teachers had about preparation time and supplies. With a successful smug, Sunghoon glanced over at Jeno who shook his head out of bewilderment. 

He found this to be an improvement, hell this was the first thing you’ve said to him since the dinner from over a week ago. “Do you need help with this?” You heard him ask, before you could answer Sunghoon was already grabbing the boxes you were carrying back to the paperwork room. 

“Yeah, you can just leave them here.” You pointed out, an awkward grin on your lips knowing the last time you spoke to him wasn’t the friendliest. 

“Hey I’m sorry about last time, I shouldn’t have blown up on you the way I did so I apologize—”

“No you shouldn’t apologize I sort of antagonized you so I’m the one who should be saying sorry.” He interjected, bringing his hands up in an attempt to stop you from interrupting him with a small huff. 

“Sunghoon I just don’t want us to be fighting anymore, it’s been so long we should both just get over it— I’m ready to forget about it if you are.” thinking it was the best solution you huffed softly seeing Sunghoon slowly nod shoving his hands in his pockets with a slight frown. 

“Is this not what you wanted?” Seeing him slowly bring his gaze up to yours, you released a relieved sigh as he nodded quietly. 

“Yeah I really do Y/N.” With a small smile, you nodded as the sound of other teachers down the hall interrupted the two of you. 

“Great because I’m gonna need a lot of help for the upcoming festival.” You pointed out, standing beside him letting the other staff walk into the room past you with a grin. 

“And I’ll be there to help you, always.” You heard him mumble beside you, heart fluttering lightly as your fingers gripped the fabric of your pants. 

You weren’t sure if your olive branch was going to do much in effort when it came to Sunghoon but— the two of you were now on good terms, really good terms to say. 

Maybe it was the effort of meeting up before or after school to brainstorm ideas for the festival but apart of you felt somewhat displeased. It was stupid really, you were upset when he was too caught up in the past with what happened, but now you were slightly displeased at the fact he was willing to forget everything just like that. 

Complicated— you knew. 

The sudden knock against the wood door made you flinch lightly from your desk as the sight of Sunghoon made you grin. After a few hours of grading papers, you didn’t notice the setting sun and quiet halls. Sunghoon has been coming either before or after school to discuss plans and set up ideas for the festival, when you learned he out of everyone signed up to run his department, a part of you grew in excitement. 

Seeing him at your door right now made you realize that, whether the halls and classes were empty in the bright early mornings or late in the setting sun, part of you felt a bit of self-sorrow. 

It reminded you of the way you were back in college, waiting for each other after classes with exciting smiles and playful hands. If things stayed the way they were, would the two of you have made it this far? Even if the exciting smiles turned into tired ones, and warm hugs replaced the playful ones— you could only leave it up to your imagination.

“Hey.” You whispered, his coming figure making you drop your pen softly. Eyes widening you scoffed as Sunghoon placed a cup of warm coffee on your desk. “I figured you needed a quick coffee break seeing how you’re still working this late.” He sighed, sitting ontop of one of the desk in front of you. 

“You came earlier?” His hum was enough to let you know he did as you were busy in your own world to be bother any further. “Isn’t this the coffee combo I made you before?” Your voice slightly amused as he nodded with a chuckle. 

“Yeah it’s been my go-to since you made me one— I guess you just know exactly what I like.” 

“So I think the class came to a consensus on their final ideas for the festival.” Changing the subject quickly, you failed to realize Sunghoon caught the sight of your eyes wavering, flustered.

“Oh yeah? What did they choose, our class came down to one as well.” Blinking quickly you did your best to remain calm as Sunghoon made his way around your desk beside you, his cologne tickling your nose while trying to ignore the obvious sound of your chair squeaking from scooting back slightly. 

“I-I think they all agreed to do a snack booth.” You replied, focusing your gaze across the room to the lab tables, an attempt to prevent your cheeks from heating up in embarrassment. “The kids chose a photobooth, I think that’s a good combination for our section.” He commented earning a nod from you. 

The feeling of something fluttering against your hair made you to flinch until the calluses of Sunghoon’s fingers caressing a few strands of hair came into view. 

“Stop overworking yourself.” he whispered. 

“I’m not Sunghoon I’m just behind on a few assignments is all.” You reasoned, leaning back into your seat as his fingers continued to play through your loose strands of hair. Being alone for so long, you often forget what it’s like to have someone asking you from time to time to slow down.

But to Sunghoon it was just one of your habits he knew you couldn’t get rid of, meticulous and compassionate to what you put your mind to, that was what he loved about you. But he knew it was important to put a limit on that habit. He knew you didn’t like people critiquing your work style as it was what you were used to— a small detail he noted back when you grew frustrated at the professor for telling you to take a break.

“Okay I believe you.” He sighed in a whisper, fingers still brushing the side of your face before continuing. 

“Just remember to rest from time to time… sleep can’t wait but graded assignments can.” he reasoned making you giggle slightly at how unserious he was with a nod. 

“The kids wanted me to let you know they’re expecting to see you at the game this Friday— especially Niki.” he brought up, leaning an arm against the head of your chair as you looked up at him confused. You haven’t been to any of the school games on campus, to be fair any games really since back in college when you went to support Sunghoon. 

“I think it’ll be important for them that their favorite teacher is there so think about it.” you heard him say, he knew you had a soft spot for the boys and they had one for you.  

And so here you were, after days of debating whether you were going to show up or not, you found yourself standing in your classroom overlooking the line of supporters outside the entrance to the gym. 

The moment you step foot onto the court, you noticed the home side of the bleachers were lined with hand-painted posters and school-colored streamers hanging from the ceiling of the gym, visible around the poles of the bleachers and floor of the gym. The loud cheering from the student section and low percussion from the band brought a smile to your face, it felt familiar yet so unfamiliar.

“Ms. Kim?” Smiling at the flushed boy you waved at him as he called over for the taller one with a grin. 

“You made it! I didn’t think you were coming,” Niki exclaimed with a towel wrapped around his neck. 

“Of course I came! You know I have some basketball knowledge up my sleeve.” you winked as two of them laughed feeling you pat them on the shoulder in encouragement. You recognized many students from class and coworkers with anticipating expressions, being one of the biggest games this season the energy was high, high in excitement and pressure. 

Trailing your eyes across the gym, it was a surprise to see so many people from the enemy team seated on the opposite side, school colors contrasting against each other as the tension grew on the court. Before you knew it, a grin ghosted on your face as your wondering gaze paused on Sunghoon; dressed in his suit with his clipboard in hand and a pen in the other. His brows were pulled into a frown behind his styled locks looking across the court to the other coach with a scowl, typical competitive Sunghoon.

You didn’t know what but something made you nervous, maybe it was because haven’t been in this type of environment in so long? Or maybe you were feeling the the stress from all the players on the sideline.

The moment his eyes met yours, it was like seeing him for the first time again at his game. 

Nostalgia, you were nervous because you knew coming here would’ve made you reminisce on all the good times you had with him those years ago. 

You were shown nostalgia was the hearts way of reminding you of what you once loved, what you once cherished. It wasn’t like someone told you, you learned to acknowledge it over the years. 

Through your favorite song that oftened played on the radio station you two enjoyed, Goodnight Radio. Photos and scents… nostalgia seemed to have always traveled to you, leaving a bittersweet feeling as sometimes happy memories make you sad–- despite the intended meaning of those words.

You gave him a shy smile, Sunghoon’s grin widening as he nodded in acknowledgement ignoring the looks of Niki and Jungwon glancing between you two. Finding your seat amongst the students, you were happy most of them greeted you with enthusiasm, partly shocked to see you here in the first place. 

“I’m surprised to see you here. Not really since I knew you’d come.” Sunghoon called out to you from the benches, yelling over the loud crowd in excitement as the band performance was coming to an end. You knew how important this was for Sunghoon, coming from a background where he was once in their position— this was a big game for him. 

Sure, you knew it would reflect on him as this was his first game as the coach, but you knew how important it was to him to win, for the team and for himself. 

“And who would I be not coming to support my students?” You yelled back, his smirk widening as he flung his clipboard towards the assistant coach who flinched, you figured he’d be used to that by now. His cheeky grin complimented his smiling eyes and it made you realize this was were Sunghoon belonged, on the court where he always called home.

As the game continued, you knew it was going to be an even game— with the team leading alongside a new coach, it was expected for a few mistake calls here and there. But being against a long time rival defending their wining title, everyone was tense throughout the first half. With the crowd growing weary you could see the stress seeping through Sunghoons stern expression. 

You couldn’t help but dismay your feelings aside noting Sunghoon motioning Niki in with a frown, he’s been missing all his shots and making many out of play moves costing the team points and fouls. Flopping on the bench, the boy was told to calm down by Sunghoon who went back to strategizing with the team with a tight frown on his face. 

With his head hung low and chest heaving— you stood up making your way down to the benches, away from the rest of the team where Niki was sitting.

“Niki.” Whispering to him, you heart melted seeing his upset expression under the towel draped around his head. He reminded you a lot of your brother back then, passionate and driven by the game but also very emotional in the heat of the moment; that could lead to some bumps in the road— you knew better than anyone growing up with it. 

“Ms. Kim I keep messing it up for the team.” You heard him groan, his fingers tightly intertwined trying to blur out the loud crowd from all around. 

“It’s not just your fault Niki, like you said it’s a team… you win as a team you lose as a team—and you mess up as a team.” Nodding slowly you grinned seeing him losen the tight grip on his fingers.  

“You know Sunghoon only benched you because you were getting upset, not because you’re bad. The last thing he wants is for you to put the blame all on yourself….but he shouldn’t have made that three pointer call if you want to point fingers.” You chuckled, grateful to see his smile again despite the sweat lining his hair. You noted the way his eyes flickered back to the group of players— huddled together as Sunghoon was desperately trying to keep his team together. 

____________

“You guys we can still win the game we just need to calm down and rethink our strats.” Sunghoon couldn’t help but feel anxious at the sight of the scoreboard before them, they were ten points down and one of his best players is sitting out for the rest of the quarter for his own sake. He knew how they felt, the pressure to perform well and to win against one of the biggest rivals this year, he saw himself in many of the players on his team.

But instead of forcing them to go through the burden and anger he grew familiar with, he knew it was the right thing to do seeing how upset Niki was getting both on and off the court. 

“Coach we need Niki— he’s usually the one leading all the plays down the court, it’s gonna be hard to get past their defense.” Jungwon breathlessly stated. 

“ I know but I’m not gonna force him to play when he’s spiraling, we’re just gonna have to play around not having him in the formation.” From his peripheral, his eyes caught your figure rushing back into the crowd— sitting amongst the other students and supporters with a heartfelt expression.

“Coach Park!” 

Seeing Niki rush over, he was surprised to see a smile plastered across his flushed face. 

“I can play Coach, I’m good.” despite his reassurance Sunghoon was still skeptical noting he wasn’t this spirited a few minutes ago. “Niki I’m not sure if—”

“Coach I didn’t come to play today just to lose.” he made sure to emphasize, and it all clicked for him— a familiar phrase that rang in his ear like bells. 

‘I didn’t come just to see you lose.’ 

It was a joke you’ve always said to him before his games to shake the nerves off his shoulders, even through the wins and losses he knew you were there to support him regardless of the results, and a part of him missed that. It was just something that ticked his heart a bit from the memories.

Bringing his gaze to yours, despite the rather obvious intent to look away— you knew Sunghoon understood your intent; he needed to give Niki the reassurance you gave him.

“Okay, I believe in you but you gotta believe in yourself kid—all of you do.” grinning at the team, Sunghoon felt relieved to see everyone jump in excitement despite the fatigue that overtook their faces not long before this. With less than a quarter left, he knew this was the last push both physically and mentally for the boys— with the whistle blowing the sound of the crowd grew both in excitement once again.

Niki was in a whole different state of mind compared to before the timeout, with both him and Jungwon finally on the same page; gaining points back was easy. However, with the other team being the best of the best, the score was still close— too close. With the clock ticking down and the difference being two points, either the team had to score a three-pointer or prevent the rival team from tieing.

“Niki go, run!” you suddenly exclaimed, ignoring the looks from those around as you could see the thoughts running through his mind faster than his feet were. With his fingers gripping the ball, you could feel your own gripping your pants. This was it. The adrenaline, the rush, the quick silence as everyone held their breath down to the last millisecond.

This was what you missed. 

A wide smile made its way to your face, seeing Niki and Jungwon jumping in both happiness and exhaustion as the students ran to the court to celebrate with them— you could only smile. 

They won, despite being the underdogs; they won fair and square. Nodding in satisfaction, you gave both of them a proud thumbs up as the both of them kept waving towards you in the crowd. If you were a little younger you would’ve found yourself down there with them.

But despite the happy occasion, it felt bittersweet. You were happy, so happy for the team but you didn’t want the neglected feelings you’ve tried so hard to push away overtake the joyousness you should be feeling. 

What should you be feeling? 

What were you feeling?

“Y/N!” Turning towards a familiar voice, your heart shunk realizing why the dread you’ve been feeling for the past couple weeks have been eating you up inside. 

“We did it! They did it.” Sunghoon grinned down towards you in joy. 

You noticed it that one evening— you could still see the Sunghoon you met in college, filled with drive and passion both in basketball and life. He wanted to do a lot of things, visit a lot of places, and accomplish a lot of things. You’ve never admitted it but, it tore you up inside wondering if he ever wanted you to be a part of that.

Has he been well since then?

Did he still think of you the way you thought of him?

Were over-easy eggs with a pinch of salt and garlic still his favorite?

What you and he had, is it gone— forever? You never admitted it, but he always lingered in the back of your mind without effort.

“What’s wrong?” You heard him ask you, shaking your head you held back a small cry trying to pass it off as being emotional for the boys. Your response was hushed out by the loud crowd while your eyes trailed to focus on something else other than Sunghoon who recongized that small glint in your gaze.

“Well I think we can thank you for talking some sense into Niki.” he blurted out, making you shake your head in defiance still admiring the confetti falling from above with a small smile. Sunghoon couldn’t help but admire the way your glossy eyes shimmered from the silver confetti falling above, they looked like the stars he used name in his head while stargazing with you on the campus lawn. 

“I owe you one— after this actually if that’s okay.” 

What you didn’t expect was Sunghoon secretly picking you up after the game behind the school. With kids celebrating in the main parking lot and on the field, the last thing you wanted was for a rumor to start about the science teacher and coach leaving with each other after the game. 

“Sorry did you wait long?” he whispered unlocking the door for you, shaking your head with a chuckle you slid in leaving your things in the backseat swiftly. 

“Are you picking a place to eat this time?” you grinned softly, his laugh echoing lightly throughout the car as he quickly pulled out of the parking lot passing by familiar faces you’ve seen in the halls. 

“Well it wouldn’t be much of a treat if you did all the work— did anyone see you?” He asked, eyeing you from his peripheral with a finger tapping the wheel. 

“No only a few teachers left through the back but other than that just Jeno.” you hummed. 

“Jeno?” he whispered, grip tightening on the wheel slightly making you bite back a grin unconsciously. “Mhm, he even asked if I needed any help going to where I needed to go.” you sighed nonchalantly, his occasional glances turning into full head turns— waiting for you to continue. 

“Did you tell him you were taking the bus?” His perplexed tone makes you giggle slightly as you continue to admire the colorful lights blending outside of the window. Sunghoon could feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat waiting for your response, with your head turned the other way he wasn’t sure what to think.

“Nope I told him I was going with you,” A smile broke across his face after realization hit him that you had no problem telling Jeno who you were with, and it was with him— silly he figured but it made his ego swell and cheeks heat. 

“Hey eyes on the road sir.” You playfully reminded him, pushing a finger into his dimple softly causing him to clear his throat in embarrassment —coughing nonchalantly to hide his giddiness.

After pulling into the destination, Sunghoon held a hand out to grab as you confusingly looked at him and then the empty parking lot you were standing in. 

“I was planning on taking you to a nice restaurant worth half of my paycheck but I figured you would’ve liked this a lot better.” he grinned cheekily, closing the trunk with a bag of take-out in one hand and alcohol in the other. Leading you up the stairs, your eyes widened slightly taking in the bright city skyline and busy traffic. 

“It’s not the prettiest but I think it’s still pretty.” He sighed, straightening a small towel he took from the locker room on one of the cemented platforms for you to sit on. 

“No Sunghoon it’s beautiful.” You whispered in a hush, leaning against the cemented edge with your elbows admiring the breeze from this high up, “Seriously.” you weren’t sure why but the view brought a content smile to your lips, after working nonstop for quite a while— you sometimes forget you step back and enjoy the moment. You learned to find the small and ordinary things beautiful, the lining car lights twinkling in the distance to the cicadas singing in the breeze.

Things will continue on in the world whether you comply to that idea or not, and it’s okay.

After perfecting his set up Sunghoon was glad you weren’t too picky about the setting, but you never were. Seeing you stare out to the view in fascination was a reason why he loved experiencing new things with you, not only was he getting to experience something new— but he was able to see you do as well. He loved it. 

“Yeah— it really is beautiful.” He repeated, your head turning at his agreeance only to see his gaze on you. The tip of his nose slightly red from the cold while his eyes were filled with solace as he looked down at you. 

Your heart was doing that thing again…. 

“Um, so did you decide on takeout? How’d you find the place?” You managed to let out, walking towards the small setup Sunghoon laid out as he rushed over to make sure the towel was still flat for you to sit on. “Y-yeah the boys said it was pretty good so I thought maybe we should try it.” He explained, motioning towards the pack of beer that you excitedly opened up. 

“The boys did?” kids were trendy these days and that could mean one of two things— it was gonna be really good, or just really hyped up. Surprisingly it was pretty good, Sunghoon could be a picky eater from what you remember but he was fully enjoying himself—that could also be from the alcohol. 

By now you were a few shots in, a couple of beer cans opened and a whole box of fried chicken finished. With the cold breeze brushing against your hot cheeks you couldn’t help but glance at Sunghoon from time to time secretly. His styled hair was now messed up slightly from the wind and his cheeks were slightly flushed from the alcohol. 

“Sunghoon.” You softly called out, eyes slightly hazed from the can of beer you chugged down wondering if this was a good idea to talk unsober. His low hum sent shivers down your spine as you stared off in the distance towards the twinkling city lights. 

Sunghoon was buzzed, he knew he needed to sober up soon to take you home but the thought of you next to him somehow made him anxious— leading to one too many shots. 

Maybe it was the way you were picking at the empty can between your fingers, or the blank stare off in the distance; he couldn’t tell what you were thinking and it made him wonder. Your somehow sad expression when he found you after the game made him realize one thing, with this time apart he didn’t know how you’ve been at all. 

Were you and your mom still on bad terms? You’ve confided to him one night after he found you crying to yourself when you thought he was asleep, despite how well and proud you presented yourself at school; you never felt good enough which broke his heart. You were sensitive, he knew that— a person who’d rather show off only your happy and good sides despite how polar opposite you might’ve felt.

“Do you regret it?” your small voice broke his thoughts, Sunghoon wasn’t sure if he heard right, the feeling of his heart suddenly dropping along with your solemn expression showed him you were speaking as yourself right now, not as the respective Ms.Kim, not YN from college but you right now in the moment. 

“Regret what?”

With a shaky sigh, you shook your head trying to mask the slight tremor in your voice. 

“I-I don’t know, everything?” You managed to let out, despite everything that happened, you had more good memories to grieve over than the bad—hardly any. Sunghoon was quiet for a while, and it made the thoughts in your mind run for miles wondering why. 

Maybe he did regret it. 

With your mouth gaping slightly the words ‘forget it-–it’s a stupid question’ were at the tip of your tongue. But a part of you knew it wasn’t stupid, it was just closure. 

“You know sometimes I think about it.” He sighed, his voice low from the unexpected question. 

“Just because we didn’t work out doesn’t mean you weren’t one of the best things that happened to me Y/N.” you unknowingly let out a shaky sigh, of relief? Content? You were happy to confirm what Sunghoon felt wasn’t a silly fling you tried to convince yourself he saw you as.

Acceptance? With the words ‘we didn’t work out’ solidifying your long-time question of what happened, you were somehow at the same time struggling to accept that this was how things happened. 

We just didn’t work out, despite for how bad you wanted things to— they didn’t.

“Me too—” it was the alcohol. Had to be the alcohol from the way your eyes found his, looking at you with a besotted gaze as warm as the feeling pitting inside. 

“You were mine too.” 

Unable to process what happened next, all you could feel was Sunghoon’s nose brushing against yours while your eyes fluttered on their own. 

His fingertips brushing through your hair and against your jaw had you gasping slightly— had to be the alcohol. The feeling of warmth radiating off his lips had your heart ticking to death, lips so soft you could remember your first shared kiss with Sunghoon under your covers that one night.

His blazer that was on your lap was slipping as the feeling of his chest brushing against yours made you melt inside— it most definitely the alcohol. 

“I regret it.” Your eyes immediately widened, freezing in place not understanding the meaning behind the sudden change in his answer. 

“Fuck I regret it so much Y/N.” he pulled away, running a hand through his locks as your hand slowly falls down on your lap, heart beating loudly from the mix of liquor and your emotions. 

“But you just said you didn’t…” you couldn’t help but notice your voice coming out softly from shock and fear— fear of your worst nightmare coming true. You didn’t realize but a small drop of sadness touched the palm of your hand, a tear. Sunghoon immediately cupped your cheeks whipping them away despite you telling him to let go. 

“No Y/N I meant I regret not reaching out to you after that night at the stupid party— I fucked up.” Your brows furrowed slightly not understanding his confession. 

“I accidentally ran into Naeun a while ago and she told me, everything.” he emphasized, bringing the blazer that was no longer near you back to your lap in a hurry. 

“I was stupid, I was lost, and I ruined everything.” he softly told you, his eyes downcasted towards your hands with remnants of tears that you collected in the past minutes. 

“Did you know her?” his questioning gaze led you to clarify the question further. 

“Did you know the girl you left with that night?” You whispered, playing with your fingers while the wind blew through your hair across your tear-stained skin.  

“What? No Y/N there was no girl… there was never another girl—ever.” He emphasized, turning to you quickly brushing your cheek with his thumb. “I just went outside to see if my friend left and went around the block a few times before talking to Jay…” he explained, hoping you remembered his college friends from that night that could vouch for him. 

Glancing towards Sunghoon your brows furrowed slightly trying to connect the dots, with his soft gaze taking in your reaction you immediately turned to face him as well. 

“And when I came back you were together with Kyungmin—” he cursed slightly his eyes looking into the distance with his brows pulled together. The name was unfamiliar, but you exactly who he was talking about.

“Sunghoon no— I” you denied, shaking your head expressing that you certainly weren’t together with Kyungmin. 

“I know.” he muffled, taking your hand in his before pulling to sit close, the heat from his arm radiating off onto you slightly making it painfully obvious about how close he was to you. Chewing the inside of your cheek, the urge to tell him that you missed him fell at the tip of your tongue—much to your surprise he beat you to it. Bringing your enclasped hands together, a small peck was placed in the center of your dorsal palm, your skin burning with butterflies as a small smile made it’s way to your lips. 

“I missed you so much.” He whispered, his eyes meeting yours filled with solace and sorrow— the moonlight perfectly highlighting the tip of his nose and the darkness of his pupils. 

“I missed you too Hoon.” your small voice making him sigh into your palm almost in content. 

“Missed you too much.” You added seeing his gaze travel across your face made your throat tighten— breathing hitched as the pink of his cheeks and the deep color of his lips became more visible with each passing second.

No matter what happened you realized after meeting Sunghoon again after all these years— you will always find your way back to eachother, back to the person who was meant to have your heart. That’s just how things worked for the both of you.

Two souls such as yourself don’t find eachother by accident or coincidence. 

You could say goodbye to everyone else but not Sunghoon, never Sunghoon. Not when his brown eyes were gazing like you owned his world. His lips pecking your cheek softly as you felt your heart burst in love and jolity.                           

And that feeling of love and jolity continued with each moment of intimacy shared between you two after that night. The secret kisses under the blanket at your condo as he stays the night after only wanting to drop you off after work— to the secret kisses inbetween classes behind the printer in the faculty room and underneath your lab tables.

His slender pinky that would hook onto yours underneath the table during faculty meeting were your favorite, it was quit obvious by the smile ghosting on your lips absentmindedly while Sunghoon swung your intertwined pinkies across his lap. With the festival coming up soon, alot of these sweet moments were limited as the both of you not only had the ending semester work to complete but also responsibilities with the school festival.

But Sunghoon never failed to call you after work, whether you were preparing dinner or getting ready for bed; the chime of your ringtone always brought a smile to your tired expression. 

“Ms.Kim where do you want us to place these chairs?” Twirling the pen between your fingers you motioned for your students to carry the stack of chairs towards the otherside of the court yard. With the festival happening later tonight there were still plenty of tasked to be done and last minute details to perfect before you could call it a day. When hours became one, you were basically running around campus like a crazed chicken to find the missing signs that were needed to complete your photobooth stand.

“Shoot where the hell did I place the signs.” you mumbled, swiftly going to your class that was filled with supplies and crafts done by the students. It was a festive time for the students, exams were over and the holidays were coming up; with the new year came new things to look forward to and the festival was the cherry on top.

“Ow!” You cursed, holding onto your knee that accidentally bumped one of the desk as you rushed to the missing signs that you were looking for. 

“Y/N?” Your eyes instantly darted towards the door seeing an equally disheveled Sunghoon with a box of snacks by his foot, you figured he came up to the class to get supplies as well. 

“Hoon!” you exclaimed softly, getting up from your position noting that despite looking disheveled— Sunghoon was still so handsome. 

“That’s gonna leave a bruise.” he snickered, eyeing the size of your christmas sweater the two of you decided to secretly match with. The memory alone made him smile, the one you initially wanted was out of stock and the next option was two times the size of what you would usually buy. But you looked adorable; slightly flushed from running around, hair was pushed behind the backs of your ears by the headband you were wearing.

“My little reindeer is so cute.” he cheesed, poking your antlers as you looked up to him with a sparkling glimmer in your eyes. Feeling him pull you into his embrace, your arms immediately circled around his wasit, face buried into the wool of his santa sweater as you felt him kiss the top of your crown, whispering a small I missed you inbetween kisses that eventually landed around your face. 

“Everyone did a pretty good job setting up for the festival.” You hummed, looking outside of the window at the twinkling colored lights from down below and the line of people waiting for the festival to begin. 

“Well if it wasn’t for you always on our asses–”

“Sunghoon!” You exclaimed softly, pushing him away as he apologized with a chuckle—reaching to pull you back into his embrace. With your arms leaning against the window, you couldn’t help but smile in silence, silence that was no more filled with pain or acted like a void, it was silence of appreciation. 

“This is kind of familiar don’t you think?” you heard him say beside you, his elbow slightly touching yours against the window as the two of you looked off into the courtyard, a small giggle leaving your lips as he made fun of Jeno for tripping over a few boxes from behind.

Looking up you realized what he meant from his comment as your smile softened at the warm twinkling bulb lights you decorated along the upper rim of your windows.

“Yeah instead this time Jake won’t interrupt us right?” You teased feeling him wrap an arm around your frame trapping you against the window. Leaning down he hummed a thought, his warm breath tickling the apples of your cheeks— the flashes of his friend interrupting his first kiss with you making him chuckle from the thought alone.

“I don’t know wanna try?” Slapping his chest lightly, you couldn’t help but look away shyly, bitting the bottom of your lip at how flustered he was able to make you. Using his free hand, Sunghoon brought your face to look at his again, his fingers tracing the lines of your features while his eyes took in every inch of your face. The two of you gazed at each other again in silence, not saying anything; but it was the kind of nothing that meant and told you all you needed to know once again. 

Sunghoon had a place in your heart you knew was always going to be there. 

“Ms.Kim WOAH–”

Niki.

Pushing Sunghoon away with all your might, you couldn’t help but apologize softly at his taken aback expression as his stumbled back against the lab tables. Clearing his throat as Jungwon and Niki both came rushing in with other students who seemed to have caught the two of you by the window. 

“Y-you were looking for these right? I found them lets go!” grabbing the posters you couldn’t help but curse as the students began talking over you, understanding the situation a little more as Sunghoon smuggly grinned not denying any of the accusations, rubbing the nape of his neck as he took in your flustered expression. 

“Okay okay, I hope everyone here can keep a secret right?” he announced gaining everyone’s attention. Small sounds of disbelief and annoyance echoed throughout the quiet classroom, some of them scoffing at the idea of keep this big of a secret while others were still in shock about their two favorite teachers caught almost kissing.

“If you do I’ll sneak everyone here a breakfast sandwhich for the first day of school after winter break.” he sighed in defeat, grinning in relief as everyone collectively cheered and agreed as one. You quickly told everyone to go down towards the courtyard, as the lines of people began to fill going towards different booths and activities.

“And make sure no one finds out! Actually you can tell Coach Lee I don’t really care.” Sunghoon stated, earning a few chuckles from the students and a glare from you. Shoving the posters towards Jungwon, his dimple came into view as his fond eyes traveled between the you and Sunghoon; a small ‘your secret is safe with me’ making you grin halfheartedly. 

While the room grew quiet, you couldn’t help but snicker slightly as Niki came running back, passing Sunghoon a poster you assumed was a draft or one that was messed up before it was finished. The two of you stood there looking at each other knowing you were caught red handed by your students, gosh this was bad if the board found out. You couldn’t help but notice his grin brightening as you began to freak out at the fact you and Sunghoon almost made out in front of your own kids. 

You were getting fired. Demoted at best, but most definitely fired. This would ruin all the plains you had lining up for your career— THIS was gonna ruin your reputation and—

“Y/N.” pausing mid rant you looked at him and couldn’t help the warmth that spread throughout your chest as your shoulders relaxed almost immediately. 

Of course Niki gave him that one specifically. The cutout poster that had a mistletoe drawn just above his head, small hearts and snowflakes lining the borders with the words ‘I like you, from my head to my mistletoe’ written on the bottom. Your laugh echoing through the class as Sunghoon quickly embraced you placing kisses around your face. 

In moments like this is when you realized you were grateful for Sunghoon in more ways than one. When you picture yourself being happy, there are many things that come to mind. Traveling the world to places that have always been on your bucketlist, learning how to cook michelin star dishes that you’ve had at restaurants, you wanted to raise a puppy on your own and even thought about going back to school to get your doctoral degree in science. 

Those were all things you want to do, things you wanted to do with Sunghoon. You weren’t going to make him your sole reason of happiness that’s a little silly, but you smiled more when you were with him, and you realized he understood you more than anyone else has. He made your ordinary moments feel magical and was the kind of person who pushes you to be better, he was your best friend.

In between kisses and embraces Sunghoon never failed to let you know he loved you both in tone and in silence, and he never failed to show you a different side of living that was of course filled with love.

Because that was just who Sunghoon was, someone filled — With Love.