Fetish

an eye for an eye — p.sh masterlist

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

genre: revenge, angst, smut, fluff

synopsis: Sunghoon nurtured a profound animosity towards his childhood friend, Lee Heeseung, blaming him for his sister's death. To Sunghoon, his sister was the only person who had genuinely loved him, making Heeseung's perceived betrayal unforgivable. This deep resentment sparked an intense desire for revenge, driving Sunghoon to extreme measures to achieve it. But to what extent would he go to find satisfaction in his vengeance against Lee Heeseung? Would his plans unfold smoothly, or would everything take an unexpected turn, throwing his schemes into something he didn’t expect.

word count: around 19k

warnings: swearing, unprotected sex, kidnapping (kinda), possessive hoon, mentions of death, fake marriage, depression, fist fighting, bleeding, hoon has detachment issues.

— an eye for an eye: part 1 (7k)

— an eye for an eye: part 2 (8.1k)

— an eye for an eye: last part

I love this sm, angst with no comfort 🔛🔝

✈︎ our forever is done

sunghoon should’ve known you’d find out eventually, but he was too late.

pairing : figureskater!sunghoon x gn!hockeyplayer!reader

warning : blood. injury from glass. crying. sunghoon is heartbroken. sunghoon is deeply in love with the reader. betrayal. angst. break up fic. angst no comfort. no happy ending. bet au.

wc : 2k

note : js a short one i wrote literally 2 minutes ago

“Please, i’m sorry” Sunghoon sobbed as he kneeled on the ground, his knees bleeding from the broken pieces of glass under them. His hands were wrapped around a shattered picture frame, fingers pressing against the larger shards of glass to keep them from falling, as if it would mend the glass back together.

You didn't look at him as you were emptying your designated drawers from his dresser into a small suitcase that you had let him borrow for his tour. You were blinded by rage, your eyes swollen with the tears that you've shed for your broken relationship. Sunghoon had promised that he would be different, that he was going to treat you better. “I’m so sorry” He repeated again and again as his drunken mind ran, thoughts spewing with the tears leaving his mouth.

“Am I that unloveable?” You temporarily paused your actions as the words shakingly left your mouth, the pain unmistakingly filling each symbol. At his silence that followed your question you let a scoff leave your mouth, disbelief filling your eyes. You spun around to face the boy kneeling on the ground, his hands now bloodied from the glass puncturing them from his carless hold on them.

Sunghoon was looking at you as if you were the one who broke his heart, as if you were the one who played with his heart for some stupid validation from your friends. “Did you really hate me so much that you had to bet on my love? Sunghoon, you were my everything” He looked down as his eyes burned, his teeth coming out to bite at his bottom lip. “But all I was to you was some stupid game” You turned back around towards his dresser, your eyes finding another framed photo of you two. “God, I was so stupid to think that someone could actually love me”.

Sunghoon’s voice went unnoticed to you, his words carrying the weight of the world but never reaching your obit. “I love you more than anything, more then everything”

You grabbed the photo from the dresser, allowing your eyes to trace over it one last time. In the photo you looked happy but he looked ecstatic. You were standing beside him, your arms tightly wrapped around his waist as you smiled into the camera, unaware of the loving gaze coming from the man beside you. Sunghoon was smiling down at you like you’d won the lottery, his cheeks pink from the words you’d shared moments before. You recognized that photo as the day he had officially asked you to be his girlfriend, a month after he first asked you out- the day he claimed as his “favourite day ever”. God how naive you were to believe him, to believe you'd ever meant anything to him.

And like the tear that fell down your face, the photo fell with it. Then the next photo, then the next. You grew angrier with every photo that fell, your heart causing a physical burn in your body. For somehow who never loved you, he had a weird amount of photos of you. The wall above the desk was filled with polaroids, all either of you or the two of you. His bedside table had two photos, one was a photo of you from a week after he asked you out, it was a photo of you after the first hockey game of the season.

The other was another photo from the same hockey game, but it was the two of you together. He was wearing one of your jersey’s, his face painted in strips of your college team's colours with a huge sign in his right hand reading “Y/N’s biggest fan!”. His other hand was wrapped around your shoulder, pulling you flesh against him, your skates and equipment still on. It was the first game he's ever been to, and it was your first time letting someone wear your personal jersey.

As the last photo hit the ground you heaved, your back rising as short breaths left your tight chest. As your head cleared up a bit more you could faintly make out the sound of Sunghoon’s frantic voice, the sound only growing as you turned to face his bedside table, advancing towards the last two photos- his favourites.

Before you could step any closer Sunghoon grabbed your arm, forcing you to stop. “Please stop, don't touch those, please” he begged as his hold grew firmer. You turned your head to look at him only to see him looking back and forth between the broken frames on the ground and the untouched ones on his table.

You could see the pain he was going through, his face red from crying, his eyes swollen from the tears relentlessly falling from them. His eyes were the worst. The eyes that usually held the utmost love for you were now staring at you in horror. He genuinely looked like he was going to pass out.

“Please, you can do anything but break those. I don't care, trash everything else, but please not those” his voice broke with every other word leaving his mouth, one of his hands leaving your wrist to harshly rub against his eyes, his bottom lip wobbling in an attempt to conceal his cries.

You just shrugged his arms off and turned away, walking back towards the closet not caring for the glass on the ground. You picked your suitcase off the ground and pulled it into the closest, grabbing more of your clothes to throw them in.

Sunghoon moved like he was in a haze, kneeling back onto the ground. His hands rapidly, but gently, grabbing the photos from the ground, carefully trying not to scratch or rip any of them in the process. His hands reached from photo to photo and he shook, pulling them to his racing heart. He gazed down at each of them, his heart breaking with every new photo.

His heart, if possible, dropped even further as he heard your suitcase zip up. He rose to his feet, the photos still against his chest as he watched you walk towards the door, his other hand reached out to grab steady you as you walked over the glass. “Be caref-” the words died on his tongue as you turned around and glared at him.

“You don't get to tell me what to do, act like you care for me” you spit with venom, your voice not coming out as strong as you would've liked, not that you cared right now. “Not after what you did to me, to us. I never want to see you again” Within seconds Sunghoon was in front of you, his head shaking in denial, his long hair falling down in front of his face. “Please, y/n, don't leave me. You promised me forever”

You looked into his eyes as you spoke the next words, leaving daggers in his heart that would cause his heart to bleed for days. “Our forever is done, Sunghoon.”. He once again shook his head in denial, “No it’s not, it's barely started. We haven't traveled to your home town yet, we haven't ate ice cream in the middle of the winter while skating together, we haven't graduated college and got our own place, we haven't adopted the three cats were saw at the shelter, we haven't done anything.” he grabbed your hand, his fingers leaving more blood trails against your wrist, you didn't say anything which prompted him to continue.

“I love you so much, please. It's true our relationship started with the bet” he watched as your head tilted down, your quiet sobbing filling his ears. “But our love didn’t. I've been in love with you since I first saw you in grade school. I have loved you since we first bumped into each other at the seesaw. I loved you while I watched Jake bring you to prom after I spent months planning my proposal. I loved you way before the bet, before it all started.” he stood there waiting for you to respond, his head pounding as he sobered up from the night that ruined his life.

It was true, he asked you out after getting betted on it. He foolishly agreed to let Niki, a freshmans, dare. They told him that he could never make a hockey player fall in love with him, a figure skater. He knew he shouldn't have taken the dare, and broke it off the day before your first date. He spilled his feelings to his friends, telling them about how he's pinned over you for years, that you’re the only person who has ever looked at.

His friends finally understood why Sunghoon never paid attention to anyone else, never dated or kissed anyone within his whole twenty two years of living. It finally all fell into place, until his house of cards fell.

Sunoo, the only sober one, had called you from the bar, telling you that Sunghoon was begging for you. After hearing you agree Sunoo meant to hang up, he really did, and soon he will wish that he had double checked. You also didn't realize you weren't hung up until your phone automatically connected to your car's speaker, the voices coming out all throughout your car.

You allowed yourself to giggle over the mistake and reached over to end the call. But before you could you heard a distinctive voice questioning Sunghoon, his words made you freeze. “Dude, when will you tell y/n about the bet? It's been three years, she deserves to know”. Your world crashed in from around you the longer you listened, hands gripping the steering wheel as you drove to the bar.

The second you reached the bar you disconnected the call and stormed in, your eyes searching for Sunghoon. The second his eyes met yours his face lit up, a bright smiling coming across his face as love filled his body. The boys noticed his wiggling body and automatically knew that you were there, he only ever acted like that for you.

Sunghoon stumbled to his feet as he ran over to you. His arms wrapped around you and his body melted into your hold. He rubbed his cheek against yours as quiet “I love you”’s left his mouth. The boys walked over to meet you, none of them except for Sunoo noticing your odd behaviour due to the alcohol. Sunoo tried to meet your eyes but you avoided it, just looking down at Sunghoon’s back. Your arms that usually wrapped back around the boy now laid limp against your side. His cheesy ‘i love you’s were usually met with your own, but now you were silent.

After helping Sunghoon into the car and buckling him as he stared at you with a lovesick smile on his face, you started your car and began your way home. Sunghoon reached out and grabbed your hand, his fingers clumsily entwined with yours. At one of the stop lights he leaned over to kiss you, and you allowed it because you knew this would be his last time ever kissing you, which was unknown to him.

After you got to his apartment and unlocked the door you finally exploded, accidently knocking into his dresser during your fight causing one of the photos to fall. And the rest led to where you are now, him crying while staring into your eyes waiting for you to respond. Except you didn't.

You just pushed him off of you, uncaring about the way he stumbled back into the wall, the photos crumbling under his hold. A few of them got caught on a sharp edge and cut, matching Sunghoon’s heart. He couldn't breathe, everything around him blurring as the lights flickers in and out between the edges of his eyes. Soon black filled his vision, his head tilting back as he fainted.

The door to the apartment across the hall from him slammed open, the boys running into his open room to see what all the slamming was. They all froze at the door upon seeing the state of not only the room but their best friend. “Oh my god” Sunoo whispered in horror, his head snapping back down the hall, watching as the elevator closed with you in your suitcase standing beside you as you were crouched down in the center of it, crying.

It then clicked for him, it clicked for them all. You'd found out, and left him.

𝗌𝗈𝗆𝖾𝗐𝗁𝖾𝗋𝖾 𝗂𝗇 𝗇𝗈𝗋𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋𝗇 𝗂𝗍𝖺𝗅𝗒 | 𝗉𝖺𝗋𝗄 𝗌𝗎𝗇𝗀𝗁𝗈𝗈𝗇.

synopsis. park sunghoon hates oranges, he always has. the tangy citrusy tingles he's so not fond of it. he also hates you, the living embodiment of an orange: cheery, full of life, and well, round. why should he be bothered by it though? all he has to do is work hard to get into his dream university. but the thing is, he really needs a specific recommendation letter for it. something which he can only get from your father. and hypothetically speaking, he can't just ask for it, so he does you 'a favor for a favor'; he fake dates you on your trip home for summer break and surprise surprise your family owns the biggest orange farm in the country.

or where, sunghoon falls for the one thing he has hated all his life.

word count. 1.6k (teaser) full fic: est 10k-15k? maybe more?

meet the cast. park sunghoon who has an obsession of taking photos with fem!reader who loves being photographed.

genre. fake dating AUUUU!!!! ANDDD enemies to lovers!!!(for hoon), frenemies to lovers(for you), fluff, crackkkk, suggestive, mild smut, sunghoon getting cockblocked all the damn time, set in lombardy, northern italy. popular x unpopular but it's mildly mentioned. sunghoon thinks you are a spoiled brat, a very very studious and upright sunghoon. oh and did you know? orange, orange and orange (sunghoons nightmare) rich girlie and old money reader, sunghoon is gobsmacked at reader's house, parents..(do i really need to add?) and the orange farm.

warnings. allusions as to reader being daddy's princess and being sheltered and hoon struggling every day with oranges and painting a good image of himself to get that letter. nsfw warnings will be added in the full fic. (also no it's not a chubby reader)

RELEASE DATE. 31st JANUARY, 2024 or before if i finish it

written so far. 5%

author's note﹙ ⌕. ﹚ had this random ass idea while having orange juice yesterday ksjksj. taglist is open for this as well as the permanent one, just let me know and i'll add you asap! not sure if this' good enough kindly bear with me. PLS DONT LET THIS FLOP I REALLY LOVE THIS BABY ಥ⁠‿⁠ಥ

꒰⠀ N O W P L A Y I N G. ⠀꒱ cruel summer by taylor swift, one kiss by calvin harris & dua lipa, karma by taylor swift, me by taylor swift, call it what you want by taylor swift, blinding lights by the weekend, fireworks by katy perry

"you wanna go down to the lake?" sunghoon looks up to find you at the door, more like peeping in from outside. his hands stopping mid-air with his spongebob boxers in hand, in the middle of unpacking what was left of his luggage. he moves at the speed of light, shoving them back in before you can notice the print. but too late you already saw it well, "you wear spongebob?" your laugh tickles his insides and it feels weird how he seems to like it.

no, he did not want to go out right now. after that stressful breakfast in the garden he just wants to fall face first into your fluffy mattress and sleep it out under your silk comforter. but something about your laugh makes him intrigued, would going down to the lake with you show him more of this side of yours? now this would probably be the seventh time he has wondered of how prettily you laugh. the curve of your eyes and the faint dimples on your cheeks his favourite things. oh? he picked favourites already it's weird, he thinks.

"yeah, let's go. just lemme change my shirt real quick," disappearing into the bathroom before you have the chance to speak. though when he steps back into the room,"your taste is funny," his spongebob boxers hang at the tip of your index finger as you look closely at the design. "put that back!" he scolds, choking on his spit while he rushing over.

"why? don't tell me you haven't washed it? now that's really bad hoonie," the tone of your voice teases his nerves but honestly he's used to it, more precisely he doesn't hate it as much as he thought he did.

"y/n," he warns, albeit not seriously and you can see it.

"baby," in a sweet little smile, (one that has sunghoon's hate for you faltering in the slightest each time you put it on) you correct him,"remember?" my fake boyfriend, mouthing out through a sly grin.

it's like an immediate que for him to give it up, he's not gonna win against you. when he used to see you around the university, mingling amidst a crowd of people every single time, he always thought you'd hold nothing against him. in his eyes you were a hollow image, nothing worth it. perhaps he was wrong, for so far you have him tight in a grip, he can't seem to find something to properly hate. that is if he takes the oranges out the picture.

he sighs in resignation,"come on, let's go, baby." happy? his brows rising in a question, softening up at your smile getting wider with a swift nod.

he relaxed too soon.

"was this really necessary?" the palm of his hand slides around your wrist as you walk down the steps of your italian chateau. supporting your heel clad feet and gesturing at the big beige floppy beach hat sitting atop your head. "absolutely! it's my fa- dad!" sunghoon's head snaps at that, immediately turning to look at the pitch of your voice going higher. the real deal, your father still seated in the garden with a newspaper in his hands and dear lord, a glass of orange juice.

it's embarrassing to be seen with you like that, he was gonna say. but oh well, nevermind.

"i see you have your favorite hat on, going somewhere with sunghoon?" your dad asks smiling warmly at your pair. it makes sunghoon scared, aren't dads supposed to hate boyfriends? is he being bamboozled by your family? will he be preyed upon later when you are not there to see? as if it was possible, your entire family though really welcoming of him are a bunch of weirdos, who the fuck let's their precious daughter share her room with her boyfriend they've met for the first time?

when he agreed to fake date you he didn't know he'd have to put on such a detailed act. there's literally no restrictions for you in the house. you do whatever you want, when ever you want. and that includes taking him everywhere you go, because apparently your parents know him as the boyfriend who loves you so much that he can't let you be alone at any time. shouldn't that be a red flag though? he can't with this anymore, just over a day in and he's convinced he can't make it make sense anymore, he just needs to go with the flow.

"yes he really wanted to go down to the lake," what me? when? sunghoon's eyes wander in a panic while you smile as if you weren't just lying through your teeth. smile sunghoon smile, just fucking smile, he reminds himself wondering if he should maybe say something, maybe not?,"didn't you, baby?" the little nudge of your elbow against him tells him that he should, oh god its difficult to learn when to do what.

"yeah the weather seems really good," he says, a slight tremor in his voice, internally facepalming himself. he has one job, and he's failing even that.

"hm, true," the acknowledgement from your father helps calm his nerves a bit but it runs on high again at his next words,"be back before lunch though, your brother and sister in law will be home soon. it's been so long since we last ate together," you have a brother? why wasn't he informed about this? is the universe playing a game with him? as if your parents weren't enough, now he has to impress more people. he can do this, for the sake of his recommendation letter he has to do it.

"yes dad! love you," sunghoon waits like a lone statue as you leave his side to press a kiss to your father's cheek. grabbing him by the arm and dragging him away the moment he opens his mouth to bid your father. at this rate you'll ruin it for him before he can ruin it himself. "slowdown, fluffy. i'll fall at this speed," he tries but it's to no avail, he should have known by now, no one can control you.

the walk down to the lake is quieter than he expected, no bickering or fighting. you show him around the small streets and shops on the way, telling him little stories back from your childhood. sometimes stopping at a spot,"so pretty, can you take a picture of me here?" and it's already the fourth time. he doesn't mind though, on the contrary he finds himself enjoying it. it's not everyday he gets to roam around the streets of italy with the perfect weather.

it doesn't take long for you both to reach the deck on the far left. following your lead, he sits down on the edge beside you, legs hanging low over the cold water and your shoes placed on one side. you sit close, arms brushing each other, little finger atop one another. your hair flowing with the wind swipes against his face when you turn the other way, a subtle hint of sweet (you guessed it) orange tingling his smell buds. instead of grimacing his life off, he leans closer for another whiff of it. "sunghoon!" retracting immediately when you turn back to him.

"hm?" a feeling so out of this world, a haze lost in his mind. your words sound blurry and your extravagant hat looks so pretty on you. he almost feels like he has to capture this. "i asked how you like it? weren't you listening? what're you thinking?" and he does, taking out his phone and clicking a candid. he can't believe he now has a photo of you in his gallery that he's taken on his own accord. he's been doing many weird things lately,"it's really pretty," so so many weird things.

"hey fluffy i've been wondering about something," he speaks again, looking away to try to ignore tiny little fluttering butterflies in his stomach.

"what is it?"

"haven't you ever dated before, why do your parents seem so excited to see you have a boyfriend?" there he asked it, the biggest mystery he can't stop thinking about from the moment he set foot in your palace of a house. if it's your first then maybe that would somewhat explain their behaviour, not that it would become normal altogether, just kind of justifiable that he won't be put on the rack. that he's truly welcomed and he's safe.

"not really, no one ever met my standards," your answer throws him off. what?

"does that mean i do?" he tests the water, cautious above all yet his tone still comes off as one of tease.

"yes, except one," he eyes turn to you at that, pupils dilated with curiosity for the one thing stopping him from the title of 'perfect for you' as your parents claimed. meeting his eyes in a lock of contact, you give him a small smile. hands moving over to his white button up, fingers tracing his collar and undone buttons watching his adam's apple bob in a hard gulp as his brown orbs follow your movements, sweat building up at the close proximity when you both lock eyes again,"you don't really like me," sunghoon immediately looks away, a stab of reality, he was actually anticipating something he could change. really park sunghoon? remember you don't like her?

"am i wrong?" you laugh leaning forward to have a look at his face.

"i never said that," sunghoon clears his throat, turning back, suddenly gaining a surge of confidence. park sunghoon what???

TAGLIST ( open. ) @s00buwu @luvyev @deobitifull @nottkwiwin

𝐏𝐎𝐈𝐒𝐎𝐍 – 𝟏𝟑

𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐏𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐑𝐓𝐄𝐄𝐍: 𝐡𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐟𝐮𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬

⤲ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: 𝐋𝐞𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐮𝐧𝐠 𝐱 𝐟𝐞𝐦𝐚𝐥𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

⤲ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: 𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐠𝐞!𝐀𝐔, 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫'𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐟𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐝!𝐀𝐔, 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐬𝐭, 𝐬𝐦𝐮𝐭

⤲ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬: 𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐜𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐩𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞, 𝐚 𝐧𝐞𝐰 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞. 𝐀𝐟𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐟𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐝𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦𝐬, 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐥𝐝 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬, 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚 𝐜𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨'𝐬 𝐚𝐥𝐰𝐚𝐲𝐬 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐨𝐟𝐟 𝐥𝐢𝐦𝐢𝐭𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐨𝐩𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧...

← 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐨𝐮𝐬 — 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 — 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 →

(A/N: completely different vibes than last chaps but i kinda needed a filler for the transition into the next chaps and the future of the story line so i hope you guys enjoyed it!! feedback and reblogs are always appreciated, sending everyone kisses!!!!🥺💖🧸)

TAGLIST: @soonigiri @thvhannie @enhaz1 @kpoprhia @abrazosolorcereza @deobitifull @mixtape-racha @certifiedmoa @jungwon-xo @hoonieluv @enhamysunshines @jaehoonii @pussyslayerhd @ineedsomezzz @neocockthotology @heerinnie @onionzzzs @hee-pster @3amstarlight @xxxxrvexxxx @primroselover @mimikittysblog @iea-tsand @lhspeachie @xiaoderrrr @viagumi @smg-valeria @kells5595 @heeseunghee7 @xrvrqs @ddazed-lhs @heebrry @fakeuwus @dammit-jjk @ivyannemarie @thekinkpopstandsforkrackheads @s00buwu

►DANCING WITH THE DEVIL #002 [Sunghoon.]

Part 1 of this can be found here ‣ #001

Abstract: As you had foreseen, Sunghoon and you were back to being strangers. While it was all you had initially wished for, the suddenness and extremity of it was gnawing you from inside as it made you feel as if the past few months had been nothing —that you, too, were in fact nothing. All the while, cases around town continued to rise and in tandem, your recurring night terrors intensified, increasingly blurring the lines between dreams, memories and reality. In the midst of it all, you realised that happenings around town and around you did not add up. The more you dig however, the more you realised how close real danger had always been. How deeply entangled you actually were in the whole web with Sunghoon seemingly being connected to. But is he merely connected to it or has he been the one spinning the web intricately all these while?   ‣ [ do check out Part 1 first ]

Genre: vampire!sunghoon | horror | thriller | fantasy | romance // wc: ~10.8k

Warnings: blood; violence; injuries; slight suggestiveness (forced); mentions of crimes (missing persons, murder, serial killings); manipulation; toxicity; trauma.

i : back to square one

To say that the past few months had been a whirlwind would be an understatement. With the amount of unprecedented things happening around you and to you, it all felt kind of like a fever dream. It didn’t help that since you’ve submitted your assignment, Park Sunghoon, the campus heartthrob who somehow couldn’t leave you alone even for a second last semester, has suddenly gone cold on you. Let alone just simply greeting you, he had never even casted you a single glance since the last day you guys worked together. In fact, you could be right in front of him or beside him and his eyes and attention would just always be on anyone and anywhere but you. While you had foreseen this, even being the one to have told him that the assignment was the only thing binding you two together, the way it all shifted just overnight made it impossible to quell the distaste you feel within — that you were used. That all those months, labouring over the assignment, sharing jokes and stories, were nothing — that you were nothing. 

And just like that, you guys were strangers again.

“Are you sure nothing happened that night?” Sunoo elbowed you, bringing you back to reality. Deja vu, you thought, remembering how Sunoo had asked a similar question just months ago when Sunghoon started pestering you. You were going to answer him but got immediately distracted by whatever he was shooting daggers at. You followed his gaze, regretting it almost immediately, as you saw that it was at Sunghoon and his little clique who were walking from the opposite direction. As usual, while the rest of the clique were being rowdy and playful with one another, Sunghoon, at the back, stayed unperturbed, hands in his pockets, eyes straight ahead — always looking so disengaged and aloof. You don’t even have to worry about him catching you staring because he wouldn’t. It is literally as if you had turned invisible since your last day together.

"What a prick," Sunoo scoffed, somehow feeling victimised on behalf of you as Sunghoon just passed you by without as much as a glance, “Something must have happened to have turned him so cold all of a sudden y/n — I mean he can’t just shift like that overnight. Did you not remember the way he stared at you before this so-called Cold War happen? it was disgustingly dripping with attraction and obsession, you’d have to be blind to miss it. Seriously, tell me the truth, did you guys fight or disagree or—”

“Sunoo, first things first. He was never obsessed with me. You were the one making that assumption. While we did work well together, at best we were just groupmates — not even friends probably. So it makes sense for it all to just revert to square one now that the assignment is over,” you sighed exasperatedly as you pressed the button of the elevator in front of you, “and for the umpteenth time Sunoo, no, nothing happened.”

At least that’s what I think, you thought to yourself as you reminisced about that night you last worked with Sunghoon together. You remembered working until dawn with him. You remembered leaning back against his sofa. You remembered him staring. You remembered packing up. Then you remembered waking up in your own bed, apparently having chronically overslept. You couldn’t exactly remember how you got home though, to be honest. You remembered snippets of it — city lights, sound of cars passing by, the sound of the door, certain warmth and pressure — but it was all a blur. When you woke up, you felt so lightheaded and groggy with your body aching and sore in some places. Then there was this unexplained level of hunger which made you dawn a whole 16” box of pizza to yourself that day — it was as if you had been fasting for days.

The ache eventually subsided and your appetite eventually returned to normal but now and then, you'd get dizzy spells. To make matters weirder, when you went for blood donation not long after, the Nurse deemed you ineligible as a donor as your Haemoglobin count was abnormally low — a drop that was quite alarming given how you have never had such histories and considering how you have not donated nor lost massive amounts of blood recently. It was all very weird but in the absence of any rational explanations, you attempted to make sense of it all by attributing it to how bad your sleeping and dietary habits have become weeks following up to the deadline as you only fuelled yourself daily with 2-hours of sleep and an inordinate amount of coffee.

Then of course there was Park Sunghoon, who went from suddenly having perfect attendance during the last semester to suddenly missing most of his classes this semester. During the few times when you do see him on campus grounds, his attention would always be on anywhere and anyone but you. It eventually got pretty obvious to you that with the assignment submitted, whatever you two had, if it was even worth labelling as friendship, must have ended with it.

“Are you going to just stand there?” Sunoo snapped his fingers, bringing you back to reality, as he continued pressing the elevator button to keep the door open.

“Right sorry, I was just—"

“Spacing out?” he cut you mid-sentence, "you have been spacing out a little bit too much lately, do you know that?"

"This semester's schedule is pretty crazy, I'm probably still trying to acclimatise to it," you lied, plastering a smile when Sunoo suddenly took out a yellow file from his bag, beckoning you to take it. It has the word 'CONFIDENTIAL' stamped across the cover. Absentmindedly, you flipped it open, almost cussing out loudly as grisly shots of dead bodies greeted you, “Sunoo, what the f-” you glared at him beside you, shutting the file close almost immediately when the elevator door opened to the 7th floor of the library.

“Right sorry, should've warned you beforehand —” Sunoo smiled sheepishly, "they’re some shots of the latest victims of our town’s serial killings — hey, stop glaring at me, I didn’t steal them from somewhere — I just, you know happen to beat the police to it—”

“Happened to be?” you stressed, eyeing him suspiciously.

“Fine,” Sunoo grunted, “that genius Ni-Ki somehow managed to intercept the police radio station so we receive all these reports at the same time as the police and well, lucky for us, since they are massively incompetent in responding in a timely manner, we got the privilege of seeing the body and the place first before they do. We’re not that stupid though — of course we kept our distance. Otherwise, we’d be mistaken as suspects instead.” 

“You look and sound inappropriately ecstatic about something so grim,” you grumbled, finally opening the file again, grimacing at the grisly shots, “Aren’t you two being too serious about this? I mean, the press and the police are already on it, why meddle further? I get the curiousity but isn't this too much effort and risk?"

“Well, I happen to be serious about getting that scholarship to New York and this, oh boy, this piece, would just throw everyone else's applications down the drain," Sunoo enthused, "and well as for Ni-Ki, that boy loves danger and adventure, he wouldn’t even care about the risks.”

You shook your head dismissively as you flipped through the pages, “but didn’t you say the bodies were drained of blood last time? These are all pretty bloodied. Do you think they might have been done by a different perpetrator?“

Sunoo stopped pacing around and hurried over, peeking over your shoulders, "oh yeah, I almost forgot about that report-"

“Or they could be the same killer actually, just changing up his tactics to throw the police off the trails...” you suggested, seeing Sunoo’s forehead scrunching in deep thoughts as he pored over the idea. You continued, “or a badly-done copycat killing—”

“Oh shit,” Sunoo gasped, snatching the pictures from you, “You are so smart, I didn’t even — I should make a proper timeline, connecting coroner's reports and pictures, maybe—”

“Don’t get too excited though. I’m no criminal profiler, I could be completely off— hey!” you yelped, rubbing your cheek in disgust as Sunoo had just absentmindedly planted a kiss on your cheek.

“Sunoo, stop that! people will get the wrong idea—” you grumbled, trailing off as you looked around the library cautiously. You stopped short when you noticed how, in the midst of people being busy in their own world, someone just across the floor, by the railings overlooking the atrium, was staring right at you. Hands against the railings with gaze so intense, unflinching and unnerving, it was Park Sunghoon. You realised that this had been the first time he had given you any slightest attention since you guys had submitted your work. You scoffed then, remembering all the times he could've been cordial to you before but instead chose to act as if you never existed. You broke the eye contact, walking away towards the side of the floor which would have been out of his field of vision, thinking to yourself, "well, two can play the game."

ii : nightly terrors

It was just supposed to be a quick power nap — one to quench your exhaustion and also to kill time as you wait for Sunoo to finish transcribing his interviews. As your mind flitted through a series of vivid hypnogogic hallucinations however, it all gradually warp into a familiar foreboding scene: a long dark hallway — eerily quiet and hauntingly cold, both ends of which just seemingly leading to a dark abyss. Every time you see this exact scene materialising in your dreams, you were hit with a wave of familiarity — as if you’ve seen the place, as if you’ve been in it. But never could you dwell longer on it because within seconds, you’d always find yourself sprinting towards the darkness, fumbling clumsily to open the door that apparently lay at the end of it, only for it to be slammed close the moment you succeed.

You would then feel yourself harshly spun around, your back slammed against the door. You swallowed thickly as the dark figure loom closer before you, knowing full well what would happen next and bracing yourself for the fate. It was after all the same nightmare that has been plaguing you on most nights since a few weeks ago. Despite the recurrence however, the feeling of terror and dread never subsided — striking you anew each time as you helplessly and passively relive each one of them. You realised however, something was different this time.

For starters, you realised you could feel: the pain on your back, the fabric of the man's sleeves under your grasp, his sharp nails digging onto the skin of your arm — you could feel them all. Then, as you furl and unfurl your fingers as you willed, you were hit by the realisation that unlike in the previous nightmares where you had no control over your body, this time, you were awake — you were lucid.

You wasted no time then, attempting to spin the nightmare around this time. Staring back up boldly at the figure in front of you, you grabbed a fistful of his collar, pulling his face closer to you, "you... I know you don't I?”. You weren’t exactly sure why you said that to him but as the moonlight that had streamed through a nearby window casted a slight glow on the lower part of his face, you realised that that man might really be someone you were familiar with — the paleness, the angular jaw, the plump rosy lips — you had seen it before. Suddenly the smirk on his face widened into a toothy grin, his tongue making a quick swipe across his teeth — the canines of which were abnormally elongated and sharp, they looked almost like fangs.

The next thing you knew he had dipped his head onto the crook of your neck, paralysing you with the vividness of it all: his lips ghosting over your bare neck, his tongue gliding over a particular spot, followed by, you winced, a prick of pain at the exact same spot. Suddenly, the ability to feel felt more like a curse, as you feel him sucking on your neck. While you already expected the move, it had always been painless and sensationless — so with the ability to feel taking the vividness of the dream to new heights, you found real panic and terror rising within you. You lifted your hand and as expected, blood had trickled down your arm but you didn’t expect that it had been dripping down onto the ground, pooling by your feet. You gasped, feeling truly aghast and terrified for your life. You begin thrashing wildly against him, hitting, pushing and screaming for him to get off of you, but alas he was stronger and with every effort and strength you take, the weaker you grew.

You feel yourself slowly giving up when you started hearing someone calling your name faintly, "y/n... y/n!"

The voice grew louder and with each calls, you feel increasingly disconnected from your body with the scene before you slowly getting hazy and blurry. 

“Y/N!”

You suddenly jolted awake, gasping and disoriented as the scene moments ago crumbled into something else. Instead of the faceless tall man from moments ago, you found yourself being held by Sunoo. His brows were furrowed in a mixture of worry and fear, his hands tightly grabbing onto your wrists as if trying to restrain you, “Y/N! Are you alright???!”

“I- uh” you croaked as you looked around the room, trying to acclimatised to the environment and confirm that this is indeed the reality, not whatever bloody terror you had just witnessed earlier. 

“You were screaming and I tried to wake you up but instead you just thrashed around, almost hitting me and I just had to hold you down like this—" he rambled as he loosened his grip and held your face up, as if to further confirm if you were okay. You mustered a weak smile as you started to calm down a little bit, “I’m sorry. It was a nightmare. I’m fine… it’s just — just a nightmare.”

You lied. You did not feel fine at all and it was not just a nightmare — not when it had been plaguing you almost every night since weeks ago, never ceasing to strike so much dread and terror despite the repetitions. You realised that they had gotten increasingly more detailed and vivid as of late — often revealing something new each time but never had you been awake and lucid in it as you just had. It all felt so real — as if it had been a memory that you unlocked, replayed and relived — rather than just some a trickery of the mind once one falls asleep.

“But, I’ve never seen you so—"

“Hey, it’s just a nightmare… I'm okay, really...” you reassured him, though it kind of felt as if you were trying to reassure yourself too, "I'll just get myself some water. Go continue with your work Sunoo..."

You got up, groggily making your way to the pantry near the big board. As you were dawning a glass of water, your eyes darted cautiously across the clippings of the serial killer news on Sunoo’s cork board, wondering if all the morbidity you have exposed yourself to almost on the daily had wormed themselves deep inside your brain that they end up seeping into your dreams as well. Probably the only plausible explanation, you reasoned with yourself when your eyes keep on zeroing in onto the odd marks on the neck of the victims. In the midst of all the cuts and gashes, some of the bodies featured odd puncture wounds: some double, some single. Like a snakebite or something. 

Subconsciously, your finger had travelled up to your neck, grazing a spot where a cut had mysteriously appeared just a few weeks ago. You realised just then that it was around the same spot where that man in your dream had punctured, or rather, bitten into. You winced at the memory, still somehow able to feel the pain despite the fact that it had happened in a dream.

The first time you noticed the cut was the day after the assignment deadline as you were rushing to get ready after having overslept. When you first saw it, it was still red — indicating that it was likely not even 1-2 days old — and about 8 cm long. You remembered being weirded out as you could not remember nor imagined how you could ever accidentally hurt yourself on such a spot, in a such a way. On the elbow or on the knee? sure. But on the crook of your neck? debatable. The more you assessed the cut in the following days however, the more you noticed something odd about it. The cut somehow slightly curved outwards at two points, as if it had run over another wound. Eventually you got busier and forgot about the cut altogether.

Tonight however, you found yourself thinking about the cut again, which by now had fully healed fading closer to the colour of your skin, as you looked at each of the pictures before you, trying to scrutinise the injuries on their neck. Suddenly Sunoo snatched the pictures off the board, “alright, no more dead bodies for you y/n. It was my fault — I didn't even consider how you feel. Perhaps its been too much for you and —”

But you weren't listening anymore. You just watched silently, your mind on overdrive, your finger still rubbing the scar on your neck. “Wait,” you finally said something, grabbing Sunoo’s hand to stop him, “do you have clearer pictures… of the neck perhaps?”

“Well, Ni-Ki is developing the rest so there should be some—" Sunoo mumbled when the door opened.

“Ni-Ki!” you called out, as he emerged out of the photo studio, asking if he has any other pictures. He nodded excitedly as he handed you the bundle of pictures. You grabbed a few clearer ones, trying to confirm your allegations. 

“Guys… what if…-“ you mumbled, “I mean, I dont know for sure, these pictures aren't the clearest but... if you look at the neck, some of them have what looked like puncture wounds — some had like two punctures, just like a snakebite, though some only had one. But,” you continued, pushing some of the pictures forward, “wherever there’s only one, there is always another cut either above or under and look over here, wherever there's none, the necks are mostly covered by frenzied slash wounds—” you swallowed thickly, reminded of your own scar, the possible wound underneath, and the dream, "I mean it could just be nothing... but I can't help but think that what if, what if, the haphazard wounds over the neck is meant to mask the puncture wounds?”

"Okay," Ni-ki scrunched his brows as he considered the possibilities, "but why though?"

"Beats me," you shrugged, sinking onto a nearby stool, "it's just the few common denominators that seem to stick to me. Maybe it's the real weapon? Not sure what kind of tool would have inflicted those kind of wounds though—"

"No you're actually right," Sunoo nodded, rubbing his chin as he pored over all the reports of past serial killings that he had read and researched on, "with that kind of mark, it might have been easier for the police to track the killer through the weapon so maybe his game plan was actually to cover it up hence why most of the bodies have slash wounds haphazardly inflicted around their neck. And then perhaps due to timing, carelessness or just pure laziness, he would end up slashing less than usual, making the puncture mark visible on some of the bodies."

"Do you think it could be a syringe or something? maybe to poison or incapacitate them beforehand," Ni-ki wondered aloud, "or I don't know a modified bat with nails at the end—"

"Wait, since y/n mentioned that it kind of looked like a snakebite... what if it isn't a weapon?" Sunoo gasped, gesticulating wildly, "what if it's actually a snake? like maybe the killer, being sick enough in the head, unleashed a snake on the victims first to torture them or something before —"

"What are the odds of a snake biting someone at the same exact spot though?" Ni-ki raised his brows.

"You're right," Sunoo pondered, "unless they put a bait on that exact spot — wait, what if..." he gulped, lowering his voice to a whisper, "vampires?"

"Get out of here Kim Sunoo," Ni-Ki scoffed, shaking his head dismissively.

What Sunoo said definitely sounded sillier but somehow instead of shooting the idea down immediately, like you would have, the scene from your recurring nightmare flashed across your mind, sending shivers down your spine: the abnormally long canines; the bite on your neck; and the blood dripping. You furrow your brows, trying to quell feeling of dread rising within as you touched the scar on your neck, while your eyes travelled from one pictures to the other, looking at the puncture marks on their necks.

"Vampires are stuff of fables but," you murmured, "there might be some relevancy there. What if it's a fetish or a quirk? maybe he's obsessed with vampire lores or maybe is psychologically ill and believe that he is one — either way, what I'm trying to say is that maybe he's trying to mimic it. But," you sighed, frustrated with your own train of thoughts and deduction, "why cover it then? if you're obsessed with the thought that you are a vampire or something, wouldn't you want to leave it as it is? rather than cover it?"

Sunoo and Ni-Ki nodded in agreement, debating it further, but you weren't listening to any of it anymore as your mind became increasingly preoccupied with more questions — all of which were now directing towards yourself: the cut, the dream, the maniac from before.

"— let's stake at the harbour next," you hear Ni-Ki said and Sunoo agreeing almost immediately. Without missing a beat and without any further thought, you interrupted, "I want in."

“Really?” Sunoo’s face lit up momentarily before suddenly schooling his expressions, “- wait no, you’ve already brushed with a potential serial killer like two months ago. I am not going to put your life in danger.”

“Sunoo, you know how I feel about unsolicited paternalism,” you grumbled, arms folding, “like you said last time, I’m smart — I would be a great asset to you both. Like just now.”

“You’re in,” Ni-Ki pushed Sunoo aside and extended his hands to you, “if we are serious about this, we need her intelligence. I mean even both of our brains can’t analyse and observe the pictures with such insight even though we have been on this case for months.”

You grinned triumphantly, taking in Ni-Ki’s hands proudly before sticking your tongue out at Sunoo. Sunoo opened his mouth to protest but closed it immediately, finding himself wrought in a mental dilemma. He groaned, throwing his hands in the air, “Fine. But you must stick to us whenever we go to the field okay? Must. I know you always go off alone and slip away but not this time.”

“Geez, okay mum,” you mocked, before offering your hand to him, beckoning him to shake it.

You weren't exactly certain what you wanted to gain from this, if not just further troubles. But something about the case and whatever has happened around you seemed to have a link. It might just be something psychological — maybe the fear from the serial killings has insidiously seeped into your mind, making you dream and hallucinate to the point of connecting dots that weren't there in the first place. Still, sitting around and letting yourself be haunted by your own nightmares and news headlines wouldn't do any good, you thought. If anything, at least by tagging along with them, you can either confirm or dispel whatever nagging presumptions you had about whatever has happened around you and to you.

Little did you know just how messy the whole thing was. How true the saying 'ignorance is bliss' is.

iii : confronting the elephant in the room

When results for the last semester was finally released one fine afternoon, all eyes were on you. After all, the assignment that you and Sunghoon had laboriously worked on for Macroeconomics was awarded the only ‘A’ in the module — in fact, the only A awarded ever under the module after like two years.

“Well, that’s what happens when you ask two of the brightest in the faculty to work together,” Sunoo elbowed you, smiling sheepishly as you stared agape at the screen, still in disbelief at the grades displayed on your dashboard.

The joy was however short-lived as you were called to the Professor’s room not soon after. Apparently he was so impressed by the paper, he had invited you and Sunghoon to co-author a paper with him for an upcoming annual conference. As Sunghoon did not show up to his office, the professor had instead asked you to pass the message to him — the task of which you wished you could have outsourced given how Sunghoon does not seem so keen to engage with you anymore. And you, too, weren't exactly ecstatic to engage with him again either.

Hence why you were fiddling nervously with your pen the next morning in lecture as your eyes darted back and forth from Sunghoon, who was seated at the other end of the lecture theatre, to the brochure about the upcoming conference in your hand — your mind set ablaze with dilemma. You really did not want to talk to him again that you even considered turning down the professor’s offer altogether — but that would be irrational, you thought. It was after all an opportunity like no other that could embellish your resumé further, making you more attractive to prospective employers. Then alternatively, you had also considered to just not pass on the message and tell the professor that you haven't seen him or something. But you thought that would be selfish of you. After all, it was a joint paper so he deserves the credit and opportunity as much as you do. Hence, setting your ego aside, you decided to run after him after the lecture ended. 

You didn’t really have any expectations. At worse, you pictured him scoffing and saying “no thanks”. But well, he exceeded your expectations in the worse way possible. The moment you caught up to him, he did not even bother to act friendly or civil. There were no ‘hi’, no smile — nothing, just an expression of disinterest if not, annoyance, as he took his EarPods off. You begun explaining about the Professor's offer and the upcoming paper as you handed the brochure to him, though the lack of interest which was apparent on his face, and the lack of response were making you feel increasingly unnerved and embarrassed. As if that wasn't enough, he further made you feel worse as he interrupted mid-way, handing the brochure back, “and? am I supposed to be happy for you? or interested in this? what?”

“Uh—" you were rendered speechless for a moment, “I mean, the professor is inviting us to both co-author a paper together again. It was after all our work. You deserve the credit as much as-" 

“I couldn’t care less,” he exhaled sharply, “about this or about you taking the credit. Do whatever you want. I’ve done my job as your partner last time.”

You swallowed thickly, his words searing more than you expected, “Well, that’s fine then. I was just passing the message on.”

“Anything else?” he asked with an eyebrow raised, looking as if you had just wasted his time. You never felt so much anger and embarrassment both at the same time. “Okay then,” he shrugged, taking your lack of responses as a 'no' and walking past you.

You scoffed. You weren’t really confrontational as a person but the way this all spun was really bothering you more than you wanted to admit — like a nagging sensation at the back of your neck. The way he acted was almost as if you had done something wrong. But what? You thought to yourself. Suddenly Sunoo’s question and your memory lapse rang in your mind.

“Wait-" you called out, “Did something happen that night?”

You can see him heaving a huge sigh before turning around to answer you, “Unless you mistook or misunderstood something, nothing happened. We finished our work and you went home alone. I didn’t bother sending you. That’s it. You didn’t expect-”

“I don’t. I just-“

“Look, this happens all the time,” Sunghoon said icily, biting his lower lip in annoyance as he took a few steps towards you, “I show any slight attention and people just mistake it as interest, expecting it to bloom into something,” the corner of his lips lifted into a conceited grin, “don’t tell me the Great Wall is buckling too? Let me spell it out to you then —“

“Park Sunghoon,” you cut him off, the anger starting to rise within, “let me spell it out to you because you seem to be blind with narcissism and conceit. I have my suspicions about you from the very start — that you were attempting to toy me around, for whatever reasons. I guess it must have failed since you are mistaking any slight cordiality from me now for attraction when I am just passing on the message and being nice to you for old time's sake. Get off your high horse.”

With that you turned on your heel and walked away, the anger growing with every step you took, the crumpled paper in your grasp being the only evidence of it. That being said, you couldn't help but shake the feeling of familiarity of it all — the way your words rolled so effortlessly out your mouth made it feel as if you had spoken something similar before. But that’s impossible, you thought, no one would have riled you up so much to the point where you had to deliver such a scathing remark.

Most importantly, even if someone had, you should have remembered it.

iv: entanglement

It was not supposed to drag on this long and this deep, Sunghoon thought to himself as he watched you over from their hangout room on the 5th floor of the North Wing. You were sitting by the fountain, rambling animatedly to your ‘guard dog’, making big gestures in between coffee sips while occasionally doubling-over in a fit of laughter with him. Sunghoon hated how he knew exactly what coffee you had ordered and how he could hear your laughter clearly in his mind as if he was right there next to you.

Despite the crowds forming and dispersing around you, his eyes have not left you for even a fraction of a second and if looks could kill, you'd have long been dead. Most frustrating of all to him was how with every smile you flashed, he could feel his heart raced and throbbed — though he wasn’t certain if it had been due to attraction or annoyance because both had indeed been what he had been feeling towards you as of late.

Sunghoon has always been at the top of things. That is, until you came along and become a prominent part of his daily life since the start of the project. While he may have orchestrated the whole thing to turn the way it did: for you to become partners with him; for him to save you; for you to spend inordinate amount of time alone with him; and so on — you were unexpectedly like a force of nature, somehow managing to hold on your own and throw everything into disarray. It always left him feeling so confused, vexed and intrigued — conflicting emotions of which he hadn't felt in a long time — always making him torn over his next moves as he could never know if he wanted you or if he wanted to end you.

He exhaled sharply as he turned around, leaning against the large stained windows and recounting the events from that night. He didn't really plan on biting you that night but everything was indeed unfolding perfectly: you were alone with him, in his own house, with your guards down. For someone like you, who to him, has been unnecessarily a handful to deal with compared to his other victims — this was perfect as he could just quickly and cleanly sink his fangs into you and then have your body disposed somewhere. That was how simple he pictured it to be when he first set sights on you, visions red with contempt. But little did he know, in spending too much time trying to orchestrate everything perfectly from the beginning just to get back at you in the worst way possible, he was getting caught in the intricate web that he himself had spun for you.

And that night, things definitely went awry. Or rather, I went awry, he corrected himself as he threw his head back against the stained windows, suddenly reminded of the way his lips locked with yours in a drunken stupor.

The thing about Park Sunghoon is that he does not kiss — not initiating it, at least. After all, the guy love mind games and power. He relishes in the way people get so easily enchanted and manipulated by him, eventually buckling into submission without him having to lift a finger, begging for him no matter the cost. It was such a pathetic yet satisfying sight, he always thought, the way they beg for him not realising that they were basically begging for their death. Besides, as he always told Jay and Jake, both of whom never tire from indulging in such carnal pleasures, he was getting too old to be beating around the bush so he’d just cut the bullshit and go straight for the neck. As if you’re any older than us, Jake would mock.

That is not to say he would reject it completely though. His being aren’t completely deprived of carnal desires so when someone does initiate it, he wouldn't protest nor reject it, letting himself just enjoy it, treating it like an appetiser before the main course. Though again, unlike Jay and Jake, he wouldn’t drag it on. 

That is, until you happened. You were supposed to be just another pawn — something to fuel his desire for mind games and power. Instead however, you were able to hold on your own, engaging him so effortlessly in a field that he had always trounced in, keeping him on edge and making him wanting more. He found himself obsessed with you and he sought to entrap you further in his games but little did he know that in digging a trench so deep for you to fall into, he himself might end up getting stuck in it. He can now see just how far he had miscalculated his steps and underestimated you, for when the opportunity to get back at you, like he always wanted, materialised that night, he did the stupidest thing he could have ever done — he went for your lips.

The moment his lips enveloped yours, he completely lost all sense and rationality. Like on a drunken stupor, he was so intoxicated by the softness of your lips, the warmth emanating from your body, and the way you struggled against him — it was sickly electrifying and intoxicating and as if karma was getting back at him, he remembered feeling how he was the one getting lulled this time. Then there was the smell and taste of your blood on your lips that sent him delirious but somehow, instead of triggering his predatory feeding mode, it fuelled his hunger for something else.

He remembered then hungrily pressing his lips onto yours, his hands roaming up your body, making you gasp, providing him the perfect opportunity to deepen the kiss, as he slipped his tongue in. He remembered how the harder you protested and rejected him, the more it riled him up, finding himself trailing sloppy kisses down your neck — something he’d hardly have to nor want to do to another human. As he grabbed a fistful of your shirt, tugging it just slightly just off your shoulder, he could feel the desire to sink his fangs into you morphing into something different: it was no longer just to simply satisfy his thirst and get back at you — he wanted to mark you; to own you. That was probably why he was able to stop himself from depriving you completely off of your life source that night despite how much you had riled him — because it wasn’t just hunger alone.  

He could feel his throat now constricting and his gums tingling — an indication of the hunger rising within and his canines extending into its full length — as the memory reawaken his thirst for your blood, for your lips, for you in its entirety. “Fuck,” he cussed breathily, burying his face in his palm, suddenly seeing red again. He hated the hold you seemingly have on him. He had been all over the place the past few weeks trying to prove otherwise: meeting other girls; drinking other blood; and most importantly, avoiding and being an arse towards you. He was afterall, no slave to emotions nor desires — he could overcome this easily, he thought to himself. Yet, here he was, tormented from just mere memories of you. Oh, he wanted you so bad.

“You have got to nip this in the bud,” he suddenly remembered Heeseung cautioning him one night, “otherwise, it will grow into an Achilles Heel Sunghoon.”

He turned back around, dizzy, as he propped his hand against the window, letting his head rest against it as his eyes, which were growing luminescent by the second, zeroed in on you. "I shouldn't have let you live..." Sunghoon breathed, feeling the gravity of Heeseung's words.

v: minefield

With cases rising and no leads, your campus had started to impose a curfew, threatening punishments for those found to be out and about in campus grounds beyond 8 PM. Though you found the newly-imposed curfew ridiculous, given how there had been no cases in campus, you still abide it nevertheless. Except for tonight that is, as you had left your iPad at Sunoo’s club room. Since it had all the important notes from today’s lecture for an upcoming pop quiz, you decided to risk it — breaking into the South Wing and quickly retrieving it before the Student Union members, who would’ve usually be out patrolling by then, could catch you. 

Having quickly retrieved your iPad, your were just about to climb out the window which you had used earlier when you heard a bloodcurdling scream from the upper floors, followed by what sounded like furnitures getting knocked over. For any normal person, that should have been the queue to run off. But then again, you had always been an outlier with a sense of curiousity and fearlessness that is bound to get you into trouble one day — at least that was what Sunoo had always said about you.

“Screw it,” you muttered to yourself, walking away from the window towards the staircase. As you climbed up, you can start to hear the cacophony of noises more clearly: scuffles; furnitures dragged; and some sort whimper or cry. Then it all stopped and suddenly, all the courage left you. In the dark and stillness of the night, all you could hear was your quickening heartbeat and all you could see was either empty corridors with your own reflection on the windows.

You backed away, feeling deeply unsettled by the sudden stillness when suddenly, before you could descend down the stairs to go back, you felt yourself getting yanked back by a bony arm that has wrapped itself around your neck, putting you on a chokehold. You thrashed wildly, clawing on the person's arm, as your croaked, "le-let me go-go. I will scre-scream. There are people down the-there—"

You could hear the person scoff, seeing through your lie easily. You feel the person's other hand coming up to your head, stroking your hair tauntingly, while whispering menacingly close to your ears, “dead people can’t scream though.”

The next thing you knew, you had been pushed down the stairs, tumbling down several flights of stairs, twisting your hand in the process and hitting your head a few times against either the cold ground or the foot of the railing, before coming to a stop by the next landing. You groaned in pain as the back of your head hit the hard cement. Despite the pain, you forced yourself to sit up, panicking as the figure walked down the stairs at a glacial pace. Silhouetted, you can see that the person was a lanky man, with rather wide, yet bony shoulders. Terror-stricken, you were ready to take off again but to your horror, you couldn't feel your legs. You looked back up, horrified, when the man's lower face got momentarily illuminated as he passed by a window, his thin lips curving into a wry, malevolant grin, his tongue then making a quick slow swipe over his bloodied lips. You were immediately reminded of your nightmare.

You mustered every bit of strength left to back away, powering through the pain through gritted teeth but it was futile as he soon loomed over your body. Grabbing a fistful of your collar, he dragged you towards the end of the landing, letting you hover over the next flight of stairs, giving you a slight swing before letting go. You squeezed your eyes shut, bracing for the impact.

It never came.

You felt nothing and saw nothing for a prolonged period of time, before it all suddenly warp into a convoluted mess of dreams, nightmares and bad memories — like an acid trip — then abruptly ending when your eyes flew open.

Still in an almost fight and flight state from both the experience and the dream, you immediately sat bolt upright — panicking as you looked around the room, thinking you were still at the mercy of the murderous man. Instead of the darkness however, the room you were in was so brightly-lit and brightly-painted. Instead of the cold hard tile underneath you, you were sitting on a soft white bed. Instead of a murderous man holding you by the collar, Lee Heeseung, the Student Union President, was the one next to you, eyes lit up in relief as he exclaimed, “Finally! You’re awake!”

You stared at him blankly, confused. Is this a dream, you ruminated, was last night a dream?. After all, the Student Union President, who is also part of Sunghoon’s clique, would be the last person you would ever expect to be by your bedside.

“Where am I- why are y-" you stuttered, trying to fight through the pain that you felt all over. Heeseung quickly reached over, gently grasping both of your shoulders to prevent you from toppling over, “careful, you took a really hard tumble—"

Instinctively, you recoiled away from his touch, still traumatised over whatever you had experienced earlier. 

“Sorry,” he muttered, “I didn’t mean to - you just, you look like you were about to faint...”

You swallowed thickly, still eyeing him in suspicion, “what... what happened?”

“Well, we were patrolling and found you passed out cold at the base of the stairs,” he answered, his gaze remaining soft as if trying to reassure you that he meant no harm and that you are safe now, “brought you here immediately. Thankfully, the doctor said you suffered no major injuries, just a lot of bruises, a twisted wrist, and a small cut by the side of your head. You might have knocked it against the railing or something. But fortunately, they’re just some superficial cuts. Not sure how lon-“

“the girl —" you interjected as the memories from just now, or last night, or whenever the incident actually was, came rushing through, “what about the girl?”

Heeseung stared blankly at you, “what girl? you were alone.”

“No I wasn’t,” you replied adamantly, “there— there should have been someone else-"

"There were no one else, we-"

"No, there was a girl somewhere in the building. She- she screamed! I heard it!" you protested, "I followed the voice and then suddenly," you croaked, losing your voice, "suddenly there was this man and he-" you swallowed thickly, struggling, as your head begin to spin, "he pushed- he pushed me!"

"y/n, but there-"

"No listen, he pushed me!" you insisted, looking up at Heeseung, almost pleading, "I didn't tumble down. I was pushed. He- ouch-"

“Hey hey, take it easy,” Heeseung quickly rose up, looking worried as he beckoned you to lay back. You shook your head, insistent, "there should be someone else. Maybe he ran way and— and maybe he took her with him. Did you guys ev- "

"Look y/n, you did hit your head so maybe-"

“Are you seriously suggesting that my mind is playing tricks on me?” you scoffed, your tone more aggressive than you had intended, “just because I hit my head?”

"Look y/n, the fact is that we found you alone. I promise you, we scoured the whole building, the compound, the adjacent wings and even the nearby woods — no one was out there except for the ones patrolling and you," Heeseung sighed, rubbing his forehead before exhaling sharply, looking stern, "and frankly, no one should. It was curfew hours. You, of all people, should know the implication of it."

You opened your mouth, wanting to protest further but immediately stopped yourself as you now belatedly realised just how much trouble you are possibly in for being out during curfew hours. You sank back onto your propped pillows behind you, defeated.

"y/n... just rest up for now okay? I will keep you posted in case I uncovered anything that might relate to your sightings last night," Heeseung gave you a tight-lipped smile as he drew the cubicle curtains around your bed to lend you some privacy though he stopped short before closing it completely.

"y/n," he called out softly. When you looked up, the warm gaze and smile had disappeared as he cautioned, "I would advise you to not tell anyone about last night unless you want to get in trouble for loitering around during curfew hours. I covered for you last night saying that your body was freezing when I found you which meant you must have passed out before curfew hours. I can assure you however no one else, especially the staffs, would be as lenient if they knew the truth. Not even if you tell them about what you had allegedly see or hear, because without any physical evidence, it just sounds like excuses.”

With that he excused himself, leaving you alone, dejected and defeated, questioning your own memory, "what the hell is going on with me?"

vi: the lifesaver

Its been a few weeks and still, there had been no new updates about that night. No woman, no man, no body — just you, your memories and some fading bruises, which you’ve been diligently covering with turtlenecks and long sleeves. As days passed, the memory melded perfectly with your recurring nightmares, leaving you questioning your own memory and mind — all the while, the feeling of looming terror felt as if it was increasingly gnawing you from within, haunting you. Hence, you’ve sought solace in overworking yourself, staying cooped up in the library, head buried in books — all so you can distract yourself. 

Tonight however, your body was paying the price for having been overworking the past few days, pulling you into a deep sleep when you had only intended the nap to last for 15 minutes. You awoke, panic-stricken, seeing the floor you were on completely desolated. You quickly packed up, your mind on overdrive thinking of what excuses to give the guard or library staff when you pass them by in the lobby.

“Oh you’re awake?”

You screamed, backing against your table and knocking some books off the edge. It's been weeks, but you were still skittish from your last incident. Fortunately, it wasn't yet another maniac. You recognised the vest he was wearing — it was the one that the library guards always wore. You immediately apologised, “Sorry, really - I thought-"

“No, no,” the man quickly rushed over, bending down to help you pick your books up, “I should be the one apologising since I was the one who startled you.”

“No, I’m the one here during curfew hours...“ you sighed, bending down to also pick the books up when it suddenly dawned on you who the man was, “Yang Jungwon?”

His eyes lit up as he nodded excitedly, “for a second there I thought you had completely forgotten about me. Wouldn’t blame you though, I was gone for a long time.”

“Of course I remember you!” you assured him, “It’s just that… your hair. It’s black now. The red hair was pretty much your signature, wasn't it? it earned you that nickname 'The Flaming Tiger the Taekwando Club', right?"

He chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck shyly, “yeah, I dyed it back to black. Kind of preferring to keep a low profile now.”

“Well, I mean, with all the medals you’ve raked especially after you have gotten out of the hospital, I’m pretty sure you don't need the red hair to make yourself memorable in the Taekwando scene any more,” you concurred, “You’re really amazing you know that? Kicking back stronger after like a 3-week hospitalisation — how is that even possible? And now you're like part-timing as a guard here too.”

"Well, I've been having a hard time sleeping at night so part-timing during graveyard hours actually keeps me sane —anyway enough about me," Jungwon diverted, leaning against your table, "I heard so much about you as well. Heard you got straight A's last semester and is now co-authoring a paper with one of the University's highly-cited professor — come on now, your achievements are more worth praising then mine."

"Oh please stop being humble. Also the A was for a joint assignment so it's not really—" you trailed off, "shoot — they're coming," you gasped, hurriedly packing up as you saw two Student Union members in the compound, making their way towards the library, "well, it was nice catching up with you Jungwon but it's curfew hours and I've got to run. Can you do me a favour and pretend you didn't see me? Thanks!"

“No wait,” he suddenly called out ,grabbing your wrist and stopping you in your tracks, "you’ll get caught if you head that way. Come with me, I know a better way.”

You took the offer almost immediately — trusting Jungwon, who then led you skilfully through a maze of corridors and stairs, explaining how there is a secret passage in the basement — a tunnel — which leads you straight out to the backstreet, "so not only could you evade the 'Cerberus Knock-Offs' of campus, aka the Student Patrols, but if they find you, they can't really do anything since you're technically 'outside' of the campus grounds."

"Wow, it's like THE Yang Jungwon has gone rouge — where did the old uptight and stickler Jungwon go?" you remarked sarcastically as he pushed the heavy door, revealing a brightly-lit yet eerie-looking tunnel.

"Gone with the old shell," Jungwon quipped as he turned around, beckoning you to follow him. You hesitantly did, cautiously looking around the narrow passageway — feeling increasingly unnerved by the stillness, remoteness and desolation of it all, "why does the university need a tunnel any way? I mean, have you heard of how certain sanatoriums would wheel bodies discretely through tunnels back then? what if the same is happening here?"

"Why would the university be wheeling bodies though?" Jungwon gave you a quick glance before tinkering with the locks of the door at the end of the tunnel.

"I'm not saying it's the university," you clarified, suddenly reminded of your incident and the lack of evidence, "but what if the serial killer that's on the loose in town right now made it to campus — these passageways would just help him finish half the job don't you think?"

"You've always been so smart and sharp," Jungwon muttered as he rose up, his body turned towards you as he placed his hand on the crash bar of the door, his eyes narrowing, "but you should be careful with the accusations though, the staffs here are incredibly sensitive to it, fearing that such rumours would incite panic and paranoia, potentially jeopardising the university's reputation."

"But I'm not accusing," you retorted, "I actually he-" you stopped short, reminded of Heeseung's warning.

"Just saying y/n, you don't want to fly too close to the sun for you will get burnt," Jungwon cautioned as he pushed the crash bar with his elbow, his eyes still on you. Your brows knit in confusion at his cryptic words which you couldn't discern whether is a warning to you, or an advice. You can also see now, underneath the harsh lighting of the tunnel, how it wasn't just the hair that made him look and feel different. Particularly, he was skinnier and paler than you last remembered which, together with his sharp feline eyes and arched brows, made him look more intimidating. Feeling the weight of his gaze, you cleared you throat, breaking the eye contact, "I-uh should probably leave now."

"I've ordered a cab for you by the way," he beamed as you slipped outside, "it should be by the bend."

"You shouldn't have- but thanks Jungwon, I owe you twice tonight," you waved at him, "stay safe."

"you should be careful and stay safe too y/n," he replied back, waving at you.

Though thankful for his help, throughout your journey back home, you couldn't help but feel like Jungwon was hiding something.

vii: an ultimatum

“Hey Sunoo, did you remember that one case—" you stopped mid-sentence as you looked up from your phone, realising belatedly that the figure you saw from your periphery vision as you entered the Press Society Club Room was not Sunoo. You knew who it was almost instantaneously though even when he had his back against you: the tall stature; broad shoulders; thick black hair; dark get-up and of course, the air of arrogance. It was none other than Park Sunghoon.

As if hearing his name just being said aloud in your mind, he turned around, lips already curved into a conceited grin as he gestured towards Sunoo's board, “you guys have some interesting collage right here.”

“You have no business being here,” you said curtly. 

Scoffing, he cocked his head in the direction of the photo studio, “nope, but he does.”

Just then, Heeseung emerged out of the studio, carrying a bunch of pictures. Trailing closely behind him, was Sunoo, fuming, “give them back! they are ours!"

“Not anymore," Heeseung sighed, handing the pictures to Sunghoon instead, who clicked his tongue tauntingly as he look through the pictures, “listen, I'm actually doing you guys a favour here. If anyone else finds out about these morbid collections, you and Ni-Ki could become suspects immediately. Trust me, in the absence of any convincing leads — they'd lap it up. Even if they don’t, you guys will still get into trouble, for intercepting and for potentially tempering the scene.”

“But they never went close to the scene!” you quickly defended.

“And who can vouch for that?” Sunghoon derided, looking amused.

"This could put the university's reputation in jeopardy so I am putting a stop to it," Heeseung said adamantly.

“If you really care about the campus and its people, you’d know how important our work and progress is,” Sunoo snapped.

“Look, just because you are able to take a bunch of grotesque pictures and connect them with strings against a map on a board doesn’t mean you guys are making any important discovery,” Sunghoon scoffed, looking down condescendingly at Sunoo, "Just stick to Cluedo, kids."

“What the fuck is your problem,” Sunoo exploded, grabbing Sunghoon by the collar, looking as if he was ready to throw punches. Sunoo had always been the personafication of sunshine and peace but right then you can see how riled up he was from the way he glowered at Sunghoon, the way his fist clenched hard and the way his voice dropped a few octaves lower. He seemed almost like a different person. You couldn't help but quickly rush over, grabbing his arm, fearing that he would really let emotions get the best of him, "Sunoo, don't—"

"Aww," Sunghoon mocked, straightening up the crumpled lapel of his blazer, before turning to you, "you should've let him punch me. It might relieve his anger."

"I'm not stupid to let him get easily framed like that. Not by the likes of you," you snapped back. Sunghoon scoffed, chuckling, "I know you're not. But your blockhead of a friend definitely is. Not so bad for a guard dog though — at least he isn't all bark and no bite. Shame that he has never been around to run to your aid when you need it the most."

Your brows knit in confusion at his words, somehow picking up something in the way he said it.

"Sunghoon, cut it out," Heeseung said authoritatively as he grabbed the main door open before turning his attention back to you and Sunoo, "I'll send someone to confiscate everything as discreetly as possible and turn a blind eye to this just this once but if I found out that you guys are meddling in this case again, or even loitering during curfew hours for whatever reason — I'll report you guys straight to the dean. This applies to you too, y/n — I've already let you go once, remember that."

With that, they excused themselves, and as soon as the door closed, Sunoo sunk onto a nearby couch. While he covered his face with his arm, you could tell he angry and dejected he was — his chest heaving in anger, ears red, "this is fucking unfair," he croaked.

You couldn't help but feel some sort of guilt in the matter. The suddenness of it all and the way Sunghoon seemed to specifically rile him felt rather personal. As if it was done simply out of spite to you not for whatever noble reason that Heeseung just sprouted. "I'll be back, okay?" you assured Sunoo before you ran out the door, frantically looking around to find Sunghoon. Thankfully he hadn't gone far, just by the bend of the corridor,

"Park Sunghoon!" you called out, marching towards him. Again, as if expecting you, he already had that distasteful smirk on his face.

“Look, if you have a problem with me, then you should take it out on me not on the people around me,” you argued, seething, “Sunoo doesn’t deserve this. He worked hard on it.”

“Didn’t we tell you that it was for the best?” he repeated flamboyantly, his grin getting wider with every step he took towards you, “the efforts you guys are putting in are useless anyway and even if, say, you guys somehow solved it — you think the authorities will believe you guys? if anything, you guys will get into trouble for potentially disrupting their work and the scene. Even if you guys actually don't temper around, they will make it seem as if you guys did just to discredit you guys. Because come on, otherwise, they'd become the punching bag of town: authorities beaten by a bunch of campus kids."

“Cut that bullshit Sunghoon, I'm pretty sure you'd rather see us scapegoated and humiliated," you retorted, "What exactly do you want from stopping this?"

"Do you..." he drawled, taking slow steps towards you, biting his lips to suppress the grin that was blooming on his lips, " really want to know what I want?". You opened your mouth, ready to protest, but find yourself frozen as he brought his hand up to your neck, his cold fingers grazing the spot where your scar was. Your brows knit in confusion at his sudden touch — the familiarity of which was threatening to evoke something in your mind. It felt like those moments when you stopped short in doing whatever you were doing because a sensation reminded you of certain memory or a dream. You could feel your mind going on overdrive as it raked through you mind palace for a specific memory but failing, making you feel more disgruntled at the mystery of it all. As if noticing the effect he had on you internally, the corner of his lips tip up, forming a devilish grin, "you left your scarf didn't you? well, since your scar is healing pretty fast, I doubt you'd need it anymore—"

Alarmed at how he noticed the scar which you had so diligently covered all these while, you snapped out of it, shoving his hand away, "how did- mind your own business Sunghoon."

"you should be the one minding your own business y/n," he muttered icily, the smile faltering as he took steps closer towards you, his gaze darkening, "stop knocking on death's door, you're not invincible, just lucky. With your predisposition towards danger however, you're going to run out of them soon."

"What's it to you?" you remarked sarcastically, "thought we're strangers."

He bit lower lips as if restraining the smirk that was blooming on his lips, "you'd wish we were."

The next thing you knew, Sunghoon’s gaze darkened and almost instantaneously, you could feel your heart sink, as if knowing exactly what would follow. Within split seconds, he had cupped your face, his thumb caressing your lips, eyes boring into yours, the intensity searing. “Sunghoon, what are yo-“ you protested, palming his chest, trying to push him off, but it all somehow evoked a strong feeling of familiarity, just like earlier. Except, it had gotten too intense that you find yourself immobilised. All of a sudden, your vision went haywire, fading back and forth between reality and fragments of yourself in a similar setting – it was as if your hallucinations or nightmares were being superimposed into reality. The Sunghoon before you kept on fading into someone else — someone you couldn't properly identify as that man pressed his lips onto yours, devouring it with so much ferocity and hunger, that you find yourself struggling for air. When you were finally able to wedge a space in between, to your horror, it was Sunghoon all along. His tongue making a quick swipe over his lipstick-stained lips, eyes glazed with lust. Within split seconds, he was dipping his head closer to yours again, seeking to reattach his lips to yours. "No- get off!" you protested, blindly hitting him. When he caught your hands in his, the whole scene revert to normal, to the Sunghoon that was caressing your lips at the campus corridor.

You stared at him in a mix of horror and disbelief, disoriented and dizzy. Feeling your self-awareness and will back, you quickly shoved him away. "What was-" you panted, stammering, "that? what was that? what did you do?"

"What was what?" he smirked, backing away at a glacial pace, "I didn't even do anything. You're the one who froze up on me." Just like that, he just turned around and walked away, leaving you rooted on spot, still at loss. It all felt so vivid just now — like remembering a dream or a nightmare but instead of it simply being confined in your mind, it was superimposed into reality, taking over visually and emotionally, rendering you completely struck and helpless.

"y/n!"

You suddenly feel yourself wheeled around, it was Sunoo, looking concerned, "why aren't you responding? I was getting worried since you were gone for too lo-" he paused, noticing how pale you've became, your hands trembling, "hey, are you okay? did he do something to you?"

"Sunoo..." you muttered weakly, forlorn, "I think... I think something is wrong with me."

► Part 003

A/N: Hello everyone! thank you for reading hehe. In case the ending stumps you, fret not, there is a continuation to this. It was getting longer and I thought it would more coherent for it to be ended right here, the rest saved for the next part. That would also be more efficient for me too because as someone who is too perfectionist to a fault, the proofreading bit is taking almost as much effort and time as the initial drafting. Apologies if there are any incoherence and errors. English is after all not my first language. With that said, I hope you like this one as much as the 1st part and hope you'll still stick around for part #003 of Dancing with the Devil — I can assure you that there would be more revelations and more things developing there ;)

Taglist: @axartia | @my5colors | @elinushka-ka ((sorry if I missed out anyone!))

---

In another universe

synopsis ᯓ ᡣ𐭩 You swore the next time you saw Sunghoon you would cuss him out and turn a cold shoulder. But when he suddenly appears at your apartment door one night, drunk and desperate, you find yourself faltering

now playing ▶︎ •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 difficult - gracie abrams, anaheim -niki, hope ur okay - olivia rodrigo

warnings ˎˊ˗ cursing, crying, fighting, kissing, mentions of hoon being emotionally unavailable, mentions of breaking up, heavyyyy angst, mentions of alcohol, mentions of being drunk, mentions of children, open ending, use of the word masochist once, pet names

genre ⭑.ᐟ hurt to ??

pairings: non-idol ex!sunghoon x female reader

wc ᵎᵎ 1.28k

thoughts frm yuya 💭 fun fact this was actually based off a convo i had with my ex!!!!!! 😁😁😁 so! hit kinda close to home guys! anyways angst is actually so fun to write i won't even lie...

You had just finished taking a shower when you heard a few gentle and quiet knocks coming from your door, barely audible but loud enough for you to hear them. Hand still intertwined in your wet hair in an attempt to dry it, you peered out the peephole to check who was disturbing you at this hour. 

Fuck. 

Out of all the people you didn’t want to see, Park Sunghoon was at the top of that list. Yet there he stood, eyes heavy and lidded, hair a mess, and gaze averted on the floor, yet you could tell his eyes were plagued with desperation. And even though you so badly wanted to ignore him standing out there hopelessly, a small part of you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you had done that. 

Keeping the door ajar you squeezed your head between the gap, his eyes immediately darted to your own. Fuck, you shouldn’t have done this. You knew you shouldn’t have done this because the moment his eyes met yours you felt the all-so-familiar sense of longing overcoming your soul, the sense of longing you’d been trying to fight off for 6 months; all for it to come crashing down on you again. Well, there goes half a year's worth of healing. 

“Sunghoon? What are you doing here?” 

“YN, I uh- I didn’t think you’d open up…” shit. His breath reeked of alcohol, of course, the only time he’d come to see you would be when he was drunk. 

“Are you drunk Sunghoon?” your words lingered with bitterness as they left your tongue 

“Just- just a bit…can I come in?” his eyes were still pleading, and that accompanied by the shaking of his voice would’ve been enough to break you. But you refused to let him do that again. 

“Sunghoon you’re drunk you really should just go home-” your hands fumbled at the doorknob as you tried to gently shut the door, but Sunghoon was quicker than you it seemed. 

“Please,” his hand reaching towards your own, “I’ll be good.” fuck. 

You hated how easily you faltered under his words, his gaze, his touch. You hated it so badly, yet you allowed yourself to do so every. single. time.

Begrudgingly you opened the door fully to let him drunkenly stumble in, collapsing at the end of your bed. A scene all too familiar that haunted you in your sleep. You swore you would never let Sunghoon back into your life, that the next time you saw him you would spit insults in his face and stand your ground, yet with one touch of the wrist the defences you raised for yourself seemed to be built upon sand. 

Seating yourself at the edge of your bed you allowed yourself to gingerly run your fingers through his hair, you missed this. However, that was all the more reason why you shouldn’t be doing this. Shouldn’t be allowing yourself to hurt again, just at the expense of a few fleeting moments of serenity. 

“Why are you here drunk Sunghoon?” 

“I,” he propped himself up, allowing him to stare into your glossy eyes, “I don’t really know. I got kinda drunk and- fuck I couldn’t stop thinking about you love.”

Love, fuck you hated how naturally it rolled off his tongue. “Don’t call me that.” 

“Sorry…” he mumbled hazily, “Don’t you miss it though?”

You did. “No.”

“Well I do, I miss you YN. I miss all of this, your hugs, your voice, your touch, your anger. Fuck, I miss being scolded by you after drinking actually, it’s weird right, maybe I’m a masochist.” he said with a small grin

“Hoonie come on-” Hoonie, you didn’t even mean to say it yet the words seemed to come out of you like it was an instinct. 

“I missed that too,” he cut in as his hand slowly drew circles around your knuckles, “Shit YN I missed you so much” his eyes slowly started to well up with tears, a few threatening to drip down. You hated how your heart still held a soft spot for him, but you hated seeing him cry even more. 

“Hoon don’t cry.” your hands reached over to cup his face, fuck if this was all so wrong why did it feel so right. Like your hand belonged there. 

“YN- fuck,” now he really was crying “I really do love you.”

Do, present tense. “Just because you loved me doesn’t mean I felt loved by you” 

The memories you tried so hard to repress suddenly flooded all back to you, the arguments, the sleepless nights, the cold glares. The reason you broke up in the first place. You tried your hardest to forget that night, the shouts between you two that filled up your apartment, the way his words pierced through your heart like a spear, the way he walked out so easily. All to just walk back into your heart like he owned the place. Fuck he did own your heart though, he never stopped owning it. 

“I’m sorry YN. I’m so so sorry, I should’ve been better. I can be better. Please, I’ll love you the way you’re meant to be loved. I won’t shut you out anymore, fuck I never should’ve. I just- please, I can’t keep living without you. I haven’t been living without you-” he was practically sobbing now. “Please YN, I mean it.”

You wiped away the tears running down his cheeks, seeming to not notice how your eyes were stinging with tears as well. “Hoonie I miss you too but, we can’t keep hurting each other like this. We aren’t good for each other” 

“We were good YN. It was so so good, I just fucked it up. Please give me a chance, I can be better.” 

Your brain told you to block out his words; and deny everything that was coming out of his mouth, but your heart seemed to overpower those commands. “It wasn’t just you Hoonie, I could’ve been better too-” 

“No you were perfect.” he blurted out cutting you off, “I never stopped loving you. Can’t we just, start over?” desperation was an understatement to describe him, god he was a pleading mess. 

You could practically hear your own heart-shattering. “I never stopped loving you either Hoonie. But you’re drunk right now, let’s just talk about this in the morning ‘kay?” 

“Okay but, can I please sleep here?” 

No, he shouldn’t. “Sure hoon”

Sunghoon made his way to the top of your bed, arm reaching out signalling you to come over. A signal you regretfully accepted. You nested yourself between his arms, breathing in his cologne while his chin rested on the top of your head. You hated this, fuck you hated how natural this felt. You hated how easily you could melt into his touch, his words, his scent. You hated how badly you loved it. 

“I love you, my YN” his breath slightly hitched before placing a gentle kiss on your forehead. 

You tried ignoring the lump in your throat but it was no use, the next words that came out of your mouth were swallowed with sniffles and quiet sobs “I love you too hoonie”

Maybe in another universe, you two could’ve talked everything out. Maybe you two could have reconciled and lived happily together again. Maybe the 4 years of dating didn’t disappear in one night. Maybe you two could’ve gotten married like he said. Maybe you lived in a nice 2-bedroom house in the countryside, dogs running around the yard whilst you both basked in the sunlight. Maybe you would have actually had the child you fantasised about. 

Maybe, just maybe, Sunghoon would’ve been there when you woke up the next morning.

perm taglist! (send an ask to be added) @floweryang @cupidhoons @msauthor

---

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break the ice

pairing: tsundere!sunghoon x reader

summary: sunghoon shows that he dislikes your presence most of the time, but secretly he really appreciates your kind gestures. maybe he should’ve reciprocated it instead of pushing you away completely, because the aftermath was not pretty.

genre: tsundere and sunshine trope

warnings: lots of angst, fluff, mean!sunghoon, yelling, crying, toxic family relationship, slight mention of violence and divorce, very very very little swearing, lowercase intended

note: my first enhypen fic!!!!! i’m so excited to share this with you guys. this went a bit different than the prompt i made the poll on but it’s basically the same thing. enjoy! (also i might sound desperate but PLEASE interact with me i really need more friends here AHAHAhhhh)

word count: 3k ish

If you liked it please reblog or comment to give me your feedback! <3

a hand slammed on top of the wooden table where sunghoon’s head rested atop his arms. he slowly looked up, already knowing who it would be since you were the only one who ever approached him. 

“hi hoonie!”, you beamed at him in excitement. your nickname for him made his eyebrows furrow slightly, but he didn’t let his annoyance completely show on his stoic face.

“it’s early morning, why are you so happy?”, he grumbled.

you completely ignored his unenthusiastic response and placed a brown disposable box in front of him.

“i made some simple fried rice, i was running a bit late today.” you smiled and slid the box towards him when he didn’t react, “i hope you don’t mind!” 

when he realised that you weren’t going to move if he didn’t take the box, he sighed and stuffed it inside his schoolbag. your smile widened at his gesture but immediately fell when you looked at your watch.

“oh no i’m running late for my next class.” you waved at him, “i’ll see you at lunch!” 

sunghoon’s eyes followed your figure as you pushed past the people crowding at the entrance of the classroom and dashed off. his eyes glazed over in thought as he contemplated about why you even put up with him everyday, afterall you were a really jolly person who’s loved by everyone. and he, he was just loner with no emotions everso.

you both had met each other at the beginning of high school. you had approached him when you found him sitting alone at lunch on the first day. you mistook it for him being lonely but he pushed himself away from everyone on purpose. since then you’ve always been around him, constantly playing the part of a friend he didn’t ask for but secretly appreciated. he still remembers how upset you were when you found out he started skipping lunch in senior year, so you started making lunch for him everyday.

he sighed once again when his phone’s screen lit up with your text message. 

y/n:

hiii

i’m so sorry i won’t be able to visit you during lunch today TT

i have the club meeting for robotics

enjoy your lunch&lt;333

and don’t forget to recycle your lunchbox!!

Read:11:20AM

his lips turned up slightly at the cheery tone of your text, brightening his mood a bit.

the soles of his worn out shoes crunched on the fallen leaves as sunghoon sluggishly walked on the pavement. the cool january breeze blew gently, leaving a trail of goosebumps on his skin. he looked above him and watched as the sun sunk into the sky, lighting up into flames of orange and yellow which set the wispy clouds ablaze. he was broken out of his peaceful gazing by the shouts of his name. he paid no heed to it and continued walking towards the bus stop. stiffening when a hand grabbed his arm, he turned his head.

“hoon did you not hear me?”, you gasped out, panting for breath. falling into step with him you giggled, “i need to start running, i get tired so easily.”

sunghoon gave no reaction and continued to walk in silence. you noticed that he hadn’t made any attempt of moving your hand away from his arm and cheered mentally at the progress. observing his features, you frowned in worry becauset his eyes had dark circles under them and his lips looked really chapped. 

“did you not sleep well last night?” you jogged up in front of him and grabbed his face, “gosh your eyes are swollen.” 

sunghoon’s cheeks slowly turned a light shade of pink at the gentle way you were holding his face. he immediately pushed your hands away and resumed his walking, slightly increasing his pace so that you would not see him blushing. you eventually caught up with him and handed him a beige coloured lip balm stick.

“use this for your lips. i swear they’ll become smooth and soft overnight, just like they were!” you attempted to make a serious face but it looked more funny, “and drink lots of water, this is a sign that you’re dehydrated.”

sunghoon watched you carefully as you babbled on about some home remedy to get rid of dark circles, the ever present blank expression etched onto his face. he felt something bubble up inside of him that happened every time at the fact that you noticed even the slightest change that he went through. he felt cared for.

“thank you”, he spoke out softly.

you stopped in the middle of your sentence and your eyes widened at his words. this was probably the first time he ever said the words ‘thank you’ to you. you felt like you had achieved some sort of big accomplishment and your face immediately broke out into a wide smile.

this feeling lasted like a warm blanket over you both the entire day.

________________________________________________________________________

you had to miss out lunch once again the next week due to another robotics club meeting, which you were the vice president of. you had a free period currently so you decided to look for sunghoon since he was in the same class. after you found him missing from the classroom, you decided to go look for him at the benches he usually has his lunch at. maybe he decided to stretch it a bit longer?

you stopped on your way at a vending machine and got him his favourite cold coffee. smiling to yourself, you resumed walking. the school dance was coming up soon and you really wanted to attend it with sunghoon. so, you were going to do everything possible to get him to like you enough to be your date. and recently he had been slightly reciprocating your advances.

your face lit up when you found sunghoon right where you thought he would be. you were just about to call his name but stopped when you saw him holding the bento box you had given him today. you decided to watch secretly to see his reaction after eating the food cooked by you. he had never really given you any feedback about it, only taking the lunchboxes from you with a small huff.

your smile dropped when you saw him walk towards a dustbin and roughly throw the box in it. was the food not good? are you not hungry?

“do you do this every day?”

it looks like you voiced this thought out because sunghoon turned around and looked at you like a deer caught in headlights. this was probably the most noticeable expression you had ever seen on his usually blank face.

“are you okay? your eyes look really red.”

sunghoon remained quiet and just looked blankly at you. why did you still care about him when you clearly caught him throwing your food away. why were you the only one who was nice to him? he was trying really hard to control himself from lashing out on you but he couldn’t help it when you reached out to grab his face.

“will you stop this”, he yelled out in frustration.

“calm down hoonie-”

“stop it, just stop it!” he spat out in anger, “my name is sunghoon.”

just when you were about to open your mouth to say something, he cut you off once again.

“i’m so sick of everyone and everything. sick of you.”

a look of hurt momentarily flashed across your face as he pushed your hand away, but you immediately replaced it with a look of concern.

“what's wrong sunghoon? you never behave like this.”

“what’s wrong is that you won’t leave me alone.” he threw his arms in the air, “you’ve been constantly glued to me like a leech and i’m so damn sick of you.” 

you felt as if your heart was being run over by a bulldozer at his exclamations. you tried really hard not to cry in front of him but you were sure he had noticed your glossed over eyes. 

“you don’t mean that-”

“yes i do”, he gritted out. “and yes, i throw your food away everyday. i don’t want your meaningless pity.”

he watched as streams of tears rolled down your cheeks. 

he watched as the girl he cared for cried silently in front of him.

you bit your lip to prevent an ugly sob from bursting out, “i’ll leave you alone then, if that’s what you think about my feelings for you.” 

looking down at your shoes you walked towards the dustbin and chucked the bottle of cold coffee you had bought for him inside it. “might as well throw this away since you don’t want my pity do you.”

tears blurred your vision as you looked at sunghoon one last time and walked away, muttering about how it was a good thing you didn’t ask him out to the dance.

but this did not go unheard by him. 

once you were gone, he dropped to the hard floor on his knees and covered his mouth with the sleeve of his sweater as he sobbed. he had done it once again. he pushed away one of the few people who truly cared about him.

his tears dropped to the floor, creating wet patches. and his heart felt like it was being ripped apart.

once again.

today was a very happy day for sunghoon. he had finally gotten rid of what was troubling him the most. 

now he had finally decided to apologise and make it up to you. 

the past few days had been torture for him. he deeply regretted acting out like that the other day. he felt like he was going crazy without your presence and whenever he saw you around school, you turned the other way and avoided him, making him feel even worse. he finally understood your importance. and maybe even about his feelings for you.

people looked at him in shock as he weaved through the crowd at the corridors with a bright smile on his face. the park sunghoon, who was always depressed was smiling today? this was shocking for sunghoon himself, but he couldn’t stop imagining what your reaction would be when he would ask you out to the dance.

he walked into the class where your first period took place and found you looking out the window with your chin on your fist. you were silently gazing outside, lost in your thoughts while your friends were excitedly talking about the dance. 

their chatter immediately died down to whispers upon sunghoon’s arrival. his figure loomed over you, blocking the sunlight, but you made no effort to look up. he cleared his throat awkwardly when you remained unmoving from your position.

“what?”, you grumbled out.

sunghoon felt something pull at his heart when he saw you turn around. he noticed how puffy your eyes were and how your face had red irritated scratches from constantly rubbing it. a wave of guilt washed over him as he realised that he was probably the cause for it.

“hi”, he spoke out meekly.

you were surprised to find him standing in front of you because you did not expect him to talk let alone even approach after what he did last week. you were even more surprised at the fact that he had a shy expression on his face. he did not look like the cold boy he usually was.

you scowled, “what do you want sunghoon?”

he flinched at the lack of your use of his nickname and your cold tone. your usually bright and cheery persona took a complete turn today. it wasn’t your fault though, he expected this reaction after what he did to you the other day.

a perplexed look overtook your features as you watched him place a glittery, yellow, heart shaped box in front of you. this emanated giggles from your friends, making sunghoon rub the back of his neck nervously.

“i’m really sorry for the other day.” he gulped, “i baked some cookies for you. i don’t know if they’re nice since it was my first time so..” he trailed off at the blank look you had on your face. 

“you really remind me of the colour yellow so i-”

“sunghoon please stop.” you sighed, “you told me i was clingy so i stopped approaching you.”

“i didn’t-”

“i really don’t understand why you’re doing this now”, you cut him off. “just go away.” with that, you turned back to the window.

sunghoon was just about to reply when the ringing of the bell interrupted him. he panicked as everyone moved around to settle in their seats. he had no choice but to leave now. 

with a heavy heart, he walked out of the class.

you were filling your bottle at the water cooler when someone tapped your shoulder. you were kind of hoping it was sunghoon, but when you turned around you were met with jake. he was the president of the robotics club you were a part of.

“hi y/n”, he gave you a toothy grin.

you smiled back, “hey jake! what's up?”

your eyes widened when he grabbed your hand and placed a big bar of chocolate. 

“i really like you and want to take you to the dance.” his grin widened, “will you go with me?” 

before you could comprehend what was happening a voice laced with poison spoke up behind you.

“no she won’t.”

the voice belonged to sunghoon who grabbed your wrist gently and pulled you away from jake. you shook his grip off of you when he stopped at the benches where you would meet up with him at lunch.

“what the hell sunghoon? why did you bring me here?”

he didn’t respond and only stared at you with a furious glint in his eye. his face was twisted up into an angry expression as he questioned you.

“were you going to go with him?”

you scoffed in disbelief, “why do you even care? aren’t you sick of me?” 

sunghoon’s face fell at your words that repeated what he said to you the other day. he remained silent and just stared at your face. you closed your eyes and shook your head.

“just stay out of my business if you don’t care about me”

you had just turned around to walk away when a pair of hands snaked around your waist and pulled you back into a warm chest.

“i’m sorry, please stay”, sunghoon’s voice came out muffled as his face was buried in your shoulder. 

you were sure that your heart was going to explode any moment now from the intimate position you both were in. sunghoon had barely ever even held your hand and now he was back hugging you. you couldn’t stop yourself from blushing like a beet.

“w-what are you doing?”

sunghoon panicked and immediately removed his hands from you, assuming that he was making you uncomfortable. you frowned at the loss of contact and turned around.

“sunghoon, you’re really confusing me.”

he froze for a few moments then took a deep breath and began his explanation.

“that day..” he looked you in the eyes, “i didn’t mean anything i said.”

you looked at him intently, urging him to continue.

“you know how my parents got divorced last year right?”

you nodded. his mom was really toxic and controlling and used to emotionally abuse sunghoon’s dad. she was an alcoholic and sometimes lost control of herself leading to her showcasing violent behaviour. with the support of their friends and family, sunghoon’s dad had finally gained enough courage to divorce her.

“yeah so my mom has been fighting for custody of my little sister.” his voice cracked, “and at that time things looked good for her.”

he sniffed and looked down at his feet, “neither my sister nor did we want her to live with my mom. she would’ve ruined her life as well.”

“i took my anger out on you instead and i feel really horrible about it. you’ve been nothing but kind to me since day one, even after how coldly i treated you.”

his eyes welled up with tears and turned red as he tried to stop himself from crying. he looked so broken and hurt right now, and you wanted nothing more than to hold him. and so you did.

wrapping your arms around his torso you tried to calm him down by rubbing his back. he slowly reciprocated your gesture

you spoke softly, “i’m so sorry you had to go through this hoon. you and your family deserve none of this”

he sighed in relief at your reuse of his nickname and tightened his grip around you. your words were simple, but comforted him like no other.

“it’s okay, everything is fine now. my dad won the case and i finally feel relieved for once.”

you pulled back from him at the revelation and smiled in glee.

“really? that’s amazing, i’m so happy for you!”

you were back to your normal, jolly personality which sent a surge of joy through sunghoon, making him give you a full smile. you gasped in surprise.

“oh my god, your smile is so pretty!”

sunghoon’s cheeks turned rosy at your compliment and shyly buried his face in the crook of your neck, making you giggle. who knew a boy who behaved so coldly was such a softie.

“i never threw out your food by the way, except for that day because i had no appetite”, he stated guiltily. “you are an amazing cook.”

“thank you sunghoon, but”, you paused. “i don’t think we can be friends.”

sunghoon pulled away from you in alarm. did he mess things up that badly?

“not after those amazing cookies you gave me.” you pecked his cheek softly, “you have to promise to be mine.”

sunghoon chuckled in relief, “you really got me there.” 

“i promise to be yours, love.”

𝗰𝗼𝗽𝘆𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁 ©𝗴𝘆𝘂𝘂𝗯𝗲𝗿𝗿𝘆𝘆 on Tumblr

˚ · .𝗮𝗹𝗹 𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗵𝘁𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝘀𝗲𝗿𝘃𝗲𝗱

Please stop, don't stop

Pairing; [Jake Sim x Fem!Reader]!Mob au

Summary; Y/N, despite living in luxury, had always felt like a prisoner with the way her brother treated her. Jay would drag her to countries, only to have her locked up in a hotel room with two bodyguards that weren't allowed to interact with her. She had no friends, her parents were estranged from her and the only person she had was Jay.

Jay, deciding to realise that his sister wasn't a child anymore, gives her a little freedom. It's a long-shot, for a mobster like him to let loose and not keep his guard down. Amidst trying to build a better relationship with his sister, he agrees to let his right-hand man walk into her life.

He expected them to be friends. Someone she could lean on when he wasn't there. Nothing more, nothing less. But God forbid the undeniable chemistry between Y/N and Jake.

A/N; so I hope the summary made sense. And before any of y'all come at me, this is an AU aka alternate universe. The Maknae line might as well be older hehe. All legal. Yes. And, I don't know how the word count got so out of hand. AND, i don't own any of these people except Y/N, and some other mentioned characters.

Words; 15.8k

Masterlist | Enhypen Masterlist

For the longest time, all Y/N knew was to hide under the shadows of her brother. Wherever he went, she had no choice but to follow. She'd been to exotic countries but stayed locked in hotel rooms while her brother tended to business. Never did she get the chance to enjoy travelling, never did she find herself smiling while she stared out of a balcony, and never did she feel sociable.

Granted, she had bodyguards with her, Sunoo and Jungwon, suffocatingly accompanying her wherever she went. They were at her feet, tracking everything from a lift of her finger to a dart of her eyes to report back to their boss by the end of the day. For all she knew, she thought they were insufferable.

They were all insufferable, blindly following her brother's orders in the hopes of getting a minuscule ounce of validation. She wondered how her brother managed to get them wrapped around his fingers, having them- all six of them- live for him and his needs and his desires.

Because at the end of the day, Jay Park was in charge, the strongest of them all, the one that could wipe off their existence with a snap of his fingers. Y/N never believed her brother could possibly hold that much power. Maybe power was just a figure of speech, maybe it was just fear that drove everyone to fall at his feet. Maybe it was because they had all signed their souls to him- a devil's contract.

Her brother, the same boy that fed her popcorn when they were kids, couldn't possibly be the cruel man he now showed himself to be.

Her brother, who once thought of her as the apple of his eye, only coldly glanced at her when he cried or complained. With a glass of whiskey in one hand, the other tracing his jawline, he'd tut at her. "Don't be pathetic," he'd sneer. "What would mum and dad say if they saw you like this?"

Y/N would ask herself the same question. If her mum and dad saw her locked away in random hotel rooms with two men watching her like hawks, they would be disappointed. If her mum and dad saw her cry to her brother about her loneliness, their hearts would ache.

Well, those were the answers concocted from fantasy.

In reality, her mum and dad would tell Jay to do whatever he could in his power to keep her safe. Her mum and dad would allow her to live the rest of her life miserably, as long as it meant she was still alive, breathing. Her mum and dad would applaud Jay for making the decisions he made.

She hated it, Y/N hated him with every fibre of her being- in the beginning, at least. It got exhausting, after a point. To hate her brother was to hate someone he was forced to become. To hate her brother was to hate the industry she saw herself taking over someday. To hate her brother was to mar the good memories she had with him.

Y/N accepted it just around the time she turned eighteen. She accepted spending half her life around expensive hotels and services. She accepted being an unknown sibling when she attended gatherings with her brother on one of those rare days. She accepted being helpless.

She was pathetic. Or maybe she wasn't, her life was. She had overheard Heeseung and Niki talk pithily of her to Jay. She had watched Sunghoon give her half-hearted glances as he walked past her. She would let Sunoo and Jungwon- who were ordered to not converse with her- ignore her mundane requests. She would endure the helpless shrugs Jake passed her-

Jake. How she envied him sometimes. How she envied the way treated him, his right-hand man, more like a sibling than he treated her. Y/N didn't know what it was about Jake that her brother admired so much. What was it that he could do that she couldn't? What was it that Jake had to offer that she couldn't?

He was so loyal to him, Y/N noticed. Jake Sim would do anything to protect Jay Park. To be fair, she did hear them argue quite a lot. She wasn't sure about what, but every time they argued, Jay would become a little angrier, a little more controlling and a little more on edge.

In the world she lived in, loyalty was the only thing keeping them alive. Keeping her alive. Y/N stayed loyal to Jay by not running away. The boys he strung alone stayed loyal to him by obeying him, not selling him out.

In the world she lived in, looking over her shoulder was her priority. Physically and metaphorically, of course. Everything had safety precautions, from the keychains on her purse to her beloved phone- the same phone that Jay controlled with through regulations.

He baned her from using social media. All she did with it was watch movies, listen to music or play games. Nevertheless, it was better than having nothing at all. It was better than enduring an eternity of boredom.

Because, Y/N was currently tucked away in boredom, locked in a room with her two trusted bodyguards. They were somewhere in Italy- her balcony gave her a splendid view of the city and with the moon shining in the corner of her sight, her room sparkled with silver.

While she shamelessly hummed a tune and looked out the balcony, Sunoo and Jungwon sat in the room on separate chairs. The pair stared at their phone, thumbs typing away yet somehow, half their attention was on Y/N.

Their one order was to take care of her, and she was sure they vowed to do a damn well job at it.

"Y/N," she heard Jungwon step into the balcony, his phone fisted into his hand as he waited for a response. She simply hummed at him, telling him to continue. "Your brother wants to speak with you."

A groan drawled from her throat, head tilting over her shoulder as she glanced at him. Jungwon, though he wasn't innocent, he certainly did look like it. With his beady eyes and puffy cheeks- Jay must have gone to hell and back to have him and Sunoo on his side. Both of them didn't look like they belonged. Perhaps that was their advantage.

"What does he want?" Her eyes tiredly narrowed as she spoke but ultimately received no answer.

She rolled her eyes, following Jungwon back into the room. She was being guided out by him and Sunoo, strolling behind her as she strutted out the door and down the hall until the door to her brother's hotel room came to view.

Swinging the door open, she was immediately met with the sight of two tramps- one entertaining her brother while the other danced in the middle of the room.

Niki sat on one couch, holding up a phone to record the tramps while Heeseung sat beside him. Jake and Sunghoon sat on another, smirks of amusement plastered on their faces as they watched. Y/N scoffed when Jungwon left her side to sit with Jay and Sunoo left to sit beside Niki.

"Dismiss your prostitutes before asking for your sister next time," she crossed her arms, heels clicking as she came closer to her brother.

With a tut and a snap of his fingers, the two girls disappeared into the bathroom. Niki groaned out a complaint, something about being bored, and tucked his phone away. He was the youngest, yet he was the strongest out of them all. Y/N had heard rumours about his talents in wielding knives.

Heeseung, who sat beside him, was the oldest and smartest. The one in charge of planning and executing- or so she heard. He had his arm wrapped around Niki's shoulders, a stoic scowl taking over his face as he looked at Y/N.

"I know you hate me but try being nice to me when my friends are around," Jay smirked, standing to meet his sister's gaze.

"It's exhausting to feel anything towards you, brother," as Y/N rolled her eyes, Niki involuntarily snickered.

Jay flashed the boy a glare and he quickly covered his mouth. "As I said," he looked back at his sister. "Play nice."

Y/N hid her disbelief by sucking in a breath, digging her nails into her arms. "Why'd you want to see me?"

"Mum called," he said so casually, it made her raise a brow.

"What am I to do with that piece of information?"

"Again with the attitude," he warned, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "She wants us to attend a gathering tomorrow," he informed.

"Tomorrow?" She asked.

"Yes, tomorrow," he echoed. "And not to worry, mum already has a dress sent for you," he offered her a teasing smile which earned him another roll of her eyes.

"Are you bringing all six of your playthings or is it just gonna be the two of us?" She waved her hand, pointing towards the rest of the boys, eyes still trained on her brother.

"Have some manners," Jay scowled. "They haven't done anything to you."

"Doesn't matter. They're all loyal to you, aren't they?" Y/N cocked her head. "I don't feel like giving you lot manners," she seethed.

"I'm not gonna repeat myself," Jay seethed back, snapping his fingers at her face.

Y/N flinched. She shamelessly flinched, eyes blinking and body leaning back. But then she shook away the shock on her face, standing straight and offering him the same stoic expression she gave her when she was angry.

"Just answer my question."

Jay rolled his eyes this time, hand retreating to his side. "It's only going to be me, you and Jake," he promised.

"Awe, am I not gonna have my lovely bodyguards there?" She pouted, clearly showing off her sarcasm.

"Jake is more than capable of taking care of you for one night," Jay smiled teasingly, looking over her shoulder to steal a glance from his right-hand man. "The rest of them have business to attend to."

"Of course," she smiled right back at him, narrowing her eyes. "Is that all?"

"Yes, that is all," Jay nodded. "I expect you to be ready by tomorrow evening."

"The dress better look pretty, then."

"Oh, don't worry. It is," Jay cooed. "Mum even got it in pink."

Her scoff went unnoticed by everyone when they fell into a stupor of laughter. Y/N was used to it, to be openly made fun of. Maybe she didn't care, either. Regardless, if something happened to Jay one day, it would be her they listened to. She knew how she could get her way.

"Sunoo and Jungwon can stay here for the night. Have some fun," Jay announced.

"Yay, I get to spend the night alone," she leaned her weight on one leg. "Generous of you," she crooned.

"I know," Jay crooned back, eyes trailing towards his right-hand man. "Be a gentleman, Jake, and bring my sister back to her room, will you?"

Jake stood up, rubbing his palms against his jeans and giving Jay an assuring nod. Y/N didn't bother to meet Jake's eyes or bid her brother a good night. She trailed towards the door, leaving as she felt Jake's hand hovering over her back.

The halls were empty, ground matted with blue carpets, walls plastered with ivory wallpaper, all the glory made visible by dimly lit golden lights. Yet her senses drowned in the sounds of their feet padding against the carpet, his hand guiding her by her back.

Jay must have trusted him the most. If it were anyone else, he probably would have chopped their fingers off for even dreaming of touching her- his sister. For someone that acted like she deserved no happiness, he sure was overprotective.

"Jay only wants to keep you safe."

Jake's voice rang loud and clear, his accent giving away his nerves. Y/N scoffed again, rolling her head to the side to get a better look at his perfectly styled hair and sculptured nose.

"I thought none of you were allowed to talk to me?"

Then came silence, just as she expected. And Jake had let her into her hotel room, locking the door as he left, leaving her in silence. Lonely silence and she liked that she was alone. For once she wouldn't have two bodyguards shielding her to sleep.

The next morning, she was happy to realise that Jay was wrong. The dress her mum sent was, in fact, black. The satin wrapped around her frame effortlessly and Y/N admired herself in the mirror, her hands brushing over her collarbones and neck that hung a thin chain. Her fingers adorned with rings, ones that Jay bought for her.

She was brave enough to wear stilettos, and her feet tapped against each other while she sat in the back of her car, staring out the window. Jake drove, Jay sat in the passenger's seat. The rearview mirror angled directly at Y/N, giving Jay a clean picture of his sister.

"When'd you get your nails done?"

Y/N admired her nails, shiny black liquor matching her dress. "I did them myself," she spoke with a smile.

Jay hummed, amused by the way his sister entertained herself. He didn't say anything else, just tapped his phone against his cheek and looked out the window. Jake found himself glancing at her through the rearview mirror.

Soon Y/N found herself standing in front of another hotel. The party hall, she presumed, where the gathering would be held. That would be the third time she was attending a party that year, to be able to witness human interaction.

Jay made sure to keep his hand wrapped around her forearm, subtly dragging her around as Jake followed them into a room lit by chandeliers and organised with circular tables- covered by white cloth, of course.

"Alright, listen," Jay held her at an arm's length, eyes sternly begging her to listen to his requests. "I need you to stay in one place. Where I can keep an easy eye on you," he blinked.

"Am I not allowed to have fun?" Y/N crooked a brow, a smile creeping up her cheeks. "Dance with the rest of the guests, maybe?"

"Jake will be with you at all times. I'm sure he can give you all the entertainment you need for the night," he clenched his jaw. Jake let out a hum, his hands clasped behind his back.

"Then why do you need to keep an eye on me?"

"Because I'm paranoid, Y/N," he said, rolling his eyes. "Just tell me where you'll be sitting. At least I'm letting you pick."

"Yeah, because that's being charitable," despite her annoyance, she looked around the room, eyes landing on the open bar with tall stools. She pointed in its direction. "There. You'll be able to see me from any corner and I'll at least be able to drink."

"Fine," he agreed. "Just don't get drunk. I expect to see you be able to walk by the end of the night."

Then he exchanged a promising nod with Jake, leaving the pair alone while he went away to act like a polite guest. Jake, after a moment of silence, offered Y/N his arm and she hesitantly looped in hers. He guided her to the bar and helped her sit on the stool.

She fixed her dress, one leg crossed on the other as she ordered champagne. "What would you like to have?" She turned to Jake, her earrings shining under the light.

"I can order for myself," he said, weaving his fingers together as he sat beside her.

"Too proud to let a girl speak for you, huh?" Y/N chuckled, wrapping her fingers around the drink that was being handed to her.

"Funny," Jake passed her an annoyed glance. He called for the bartender with a wave of two fingers, asking for a whiskey that was handed to him within seconds.

"Strong men only enjoy strong drinks, I guess," she mumbled, smirking as she brought the rim of her glass to her lips.

Jake scoffed. "You're full of opinions, aren't you?" He narrowed his eyes. "You don't know how to be nice to people?"

"What?" Y/N scoffed right back at him. "I've been stripped away of living my life and now I can't have emotions and opinions?"

Jake looked away, clenching his jaw and gripping his glass of whiskey. He wore his own set of rings, ones that strained against his skin and clanked against his glass.

"And please enlighten me as to why I have to be nice," she continued. "Have any of you been nice to me? Hence, do I owe any of you my kindness?"

"Fair enough," Jake let the words push past his teeth.

"That's what I thought," her lips frowned into a scowl as she sipped her champagne again. Upon looking at his defeated face, though, she recoiled. "But since my brother's forcing you to keep me company tonight, perhaps I should play nice."

Jake chuckled, involuntarily letting himself enjoy Y/N's humour. "Here I thought you didn't owe me your kindness," he cocked his head, hiding his smile with his glass of whiskey.

"Don't make me regret it," she tipped her glass towards him.

Jake hummed, nodding as he mustered up the courage to look at Y/N- his boss' sister, the same girl he wasn't allowed to cross paths with until the previous night. He smiled at her, pondering if striking up a conversation was a good idea.

If he was allowed to, he might as well let himself use his freedom to his advantage. Y/N was doing it, too, after all.

"Your life's always been this way, huh?" He asked, shamelessly showing his curiosity.

"What way?" She wondered, pushing her newly emptied glass away. Her fingers curled under his chin, propping her elbows on the counter.

"This," he pointed his finger at her, looking her up and down. "Controlled by your brother, denied of freedom," he listed.

Y/N pondered over his question while asking for a refill of champagne. She swirled her glass around, watching the bubbles fizz away. She cleared her throat, nostalgia filling her conscience.

"I used to be a wild girl while I was still in high school," she chuckled. "You know, typical high school parties, cheap beer and making mistakes?"

Jake nodded. "Then what drove Jay to treat you like this?" He cringed. "He pulled you out of school, didn't he?"

"You know, I thought he would have told you of all people the reason for his actions," she chuckled but continued explaining. "Yes, he pulled me out of school. He forced me to live in secrecy and whatnot," she shrugged.

"We're all just as clueless are you are," he shrugged back. "All we know is that you and your brother have an... Unconventional relationship."

"Unconventional doesn't even begin to explain it," she sipped her champagne. "He was forced into all of this, you know? The Mob, the violent mentality. With that came paranoia and the constant need to keep up his guard."

"You seem quite sympathetic towards him," he noticed.

"Maybe I am," she agreed. "But whatever he's been through doesn't excuse how he treats me," she insisted, pressing her finger to her chest.

"Right," Jake pursed his lips.

"His overprotective act just made me despise him a little. He ruined my life, after all," Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Of course," he let out a scoff, a slight grin taking over his features as he finished off his whiskey.

Y/N tilted her head, attempting to get a better glance at Jake. "What's so funny?" She asked, the same grin spreading on her lips.

The more she examined him, the more she realised how little she knew of him. Of any of them, for that matter. They lived under the same roof, travelled everywhere but the only information she gathered of them was by overhearing conversations. To be fair, her brother did ban them from interacting with her, regardless of how much he trusted them.

She came to realise that this was probably the closest she had to a conversation in a long time.

Jake, on the other hand, shook away the glee on his face when he looked over Y/N's shoulder, only to find Jay approaching them. He looked away, clenching his jaw and weaving his fingers together. Y/N's brows knitted together, confusion slapping her harder than a wave.

When Jay finally made himself known, her expression contorted into realisation. Brow raising, she watched him smile at her and Jake. "I see you've been enjoying yourselves so far," he said. "I hate to interrupt but I have a certain someone that was begging to meet you."

Beside him stood a woman that Y/N found much too familiar. Her auburn hair flowed past her shoulders, almond eyes shining with a smile as she looked at her.

"Pearl?" Y/N's eyes widened, excited as she started the woman up and down. She used to babysit her and her brother when she was still children, oblivious to the bad in the world.

Pearl was a reminder of her past, a sliver of naivety.

"Yeah, It's me," the woman fondly opened her arms and Y/N found herself leaping at the hug.

"My God, it's been years," Y/N gasped, holding her at an arm's length.

"I know, a lot has changed," Pearl enthused. "You look great, Y/N."

"You too," she agreed. "How have you been?"

"Good. Great," Pearl nodded. "I've got two kids, a great husband," she smiled at her, then craned her neck to smile at Jay.

Jake watched the scene unravel from behind with a refill of whiskey held between his fingers. He saw the way Jay licked his top teeth as Pearl smiled feverishly at him and that Y/N wasn't oblivious to the looks they shared. Unloyal she was, it was obvious.

Jay was quick to cut the reunion, standing between his sister and their once babysitter. "Nostalgia is a joy, isn't it?" He grinned. "Now, Pearl. I'll have a few words with my sister and then come find you. Go on now."

Pearl nodded, waving Y/N goodbye. "I'll be waiting," she said to Jay and breezed past them.

Y/N gaped at her brother, wide-eyed as she realised what she just witnessed. Jay raised a brow. "What?" He asked, holding his hands by his side.

"She's married," she reminded him. "She has two kids. And you want to sleep with her?"

"Since when did you have a say in my actions?" Jay jeered, completely careless towards her point. Y/N rolled her eyes, Jake scoffed and shook his head.

"Unbelievable," she cursed. "You're unbelievable."

"I know," her brother smirked, then strolled past her, leaving her alone with Jake again.

Y/N scoffed at him, returning to her stool while shaking her head out of disbelief. She didn't say anything, just thought to herself that this was probably the most eventful night she's had since her eighteenth birthday.

"He disappoints you, doesn't he?" Jake swirled around his whiskey, training his eyes on the way her mouth gaped.

"He has no self-respect, does he?" Y/N ran her fingers through her scalp, meddling with her hair as she hollered for more drinks- this time, wine.

"No, I guess not," he mumbled, too entranced by the anger that seemed to suit her so well. The way her brows furrowed and eyes narrowed, mouth parted and chest rising a little more than usual- Jake looked away.

For the rest of the night, he stripped her and himself of any interaction between them. The pair enjoyed their drinks, lost in their phones. A part of Jake hoped that she'd ask him for a dance or whine about how bored she was.

Maybe she was too proud to ask for anything else, maybe she was just angry towards her intolerable brother.

It was proven to be the latter when Jay came striding back, hair tousled and shirt wrinkled from his controversial expedition. "You're insufferable," she said to him

"Don't ruin my mood," he dismissed her, and it was back to being ignored by her brother.

She was taken back to the hotel, her diner waiting in her room along with Sunoo and Jungwon. She quietly changed her clothes, freshened up before eating and replayed the events of the night over and over again.

She thought about Pearl and Jay and Jake- Oh, especially Jake and the conversation she had with him. She found herself craving more conversations, desperate for an escape. But, wishing for leisure was like wishing for a unicorn.

She got over it by tomorrow, accepting her loneliness once again while she ate pancakes in bed while her brother and his friends were enjoying breakfast together. She swore she could hear laughter echoing from the banquet hall, overpowering the melodies she had playing on her phone.

A knock on her door, however, was not what she expected. She didn't have to get out of bed and open the door, though that was the whole point of knocking. It opened on its own and Jake's head peaked through the crack, his hand gripping the doorknob.

Y/N immediately sat straight, duvet pooling at her waist as she turned off her music and put away her pancakes. A breath left her lips as he entered her room, followed by her brother and Sunghoon.

"What a surprise," she mumbled, fisting the duvet as the three boys stood around her bed, one on each side.

"Good morning," her brother offered her a curt smile and she nodded at him.

"Am I in trouble?" She almost laughed. "Or do you need something?"

"I just need to talk to you," Jay rolled his eyes. "Andrei has been asking to see you for a while."

"And who's Andrei?"

Jay smiled viciously, realising that his sister was curious, giving him the attention he expected. "He's a work buddy of mine, it's not important."

"Seems like it is," she furrowed her brows. "He wants to see me, after all," she argued.

"Just listen, will you?" He scoffed. "I'm attending a meeting of his and he wants you there."

"Then why are these two here?"

"They will be taking care of you. I'd much rather have these two look after you while the rest of the boys attend the meeting with me."

Jake pursed his lips, nodding as he listened. Sunghoon passed Y/N a stoic glance from the corner of his eyes. She gulped, covering up her second guesses with a furrow of her brows.

"So, what? I'm just gonna sit outside while you have all the fun?" She chuckled half-heartedly, a hesitant smile gracing her face.

"I don't call this fun, Y/N" Jay seethed. "You've been popular around my colleagues and I'd rather not know the reason. The least you can do is not ask questions and follow simple orders."

"I am not one of your playthings to follow orders, Jay," she seethed back. "It's early in the morning, I don't need you snapping at me."

Jay, with a smile that screamed anything but good, crouched beside her bed, face inching towards hers. "I can say the same," he chuckled, two puffs of air escaping his lungs.

Y/N glared at him, jaw clenching as she let go of her duvet and crossed her arms. "You're insatiable," she growled.

"I know," Jay smirked. "Now get out of bed, get ready and change into something presentable," he stood to his feet, stomping towards her suitcases and flinging them open. Y/N followed him, jumping out of her bed and yelping.

"I'm obviously not going to show up in my pyjamas!" She yelled. "Now, stop going through my stuff and get out!"

She swore she heard Jake and Sunghoon stifle their laughter as Y/N pushed her brother towards her door. Their hands covered their mouths, unsubtly looking away.

"Out!" She continued yelling. "The lot of you!"

"I'm only messing with you," her brother grinned at her as he stepped out the door, ushering the two other boys with his hand.

"You show brotherly affection at the worse times," she clicked her tongue against the roof of her mouth, Jake and Sunghoon strolling past her and out the door.

Jay shook his head, crooning. "Be ready before I get annoyed."

Y/N slammed the door in his face.

Sighing, she brushed her hands down her face as silence consumed her once again. She strolled around her room, taking ten minutes to waste before ultimately disappearing into the bathroom.

It was rather dramatic of her to saunter out of her door in a little red dress, hands shifting her hair to one side of her shoulder. The carpet muffled the click of her heels and at the end of the hall stood Jake like a knight in tailored clothes.

His presence took her by surprise and her lips parted as she approached him. "Jay told me to get you," he said and she curtly nodded.

Jake walked her downstairs, an awkward silence following their path as Y/N looked ahead; he fought to steal glances of her. Then they entered the elevator, metal doors sliding behind them.

He cleared his throat, licking his lips. "Had a good breakfast?"

"Of course," she answered nonchalantly, eyes trained forward. It was a lie, obviously, but neither of them felt the need to acknowledge it.

She was piled into a car with him, Jay and Sunghoon. She didn't say a word, didn't seem like she wanted to either. Her earphones stuck to her ear, feet bobbing up and down to an unknown beat.

Jake, despite fighting his urges, had his eyes trained on her arms, legs, exposed neck and collarbones- any exposed skin he could get his gaze on, gaping from the corner of his eyes. He'd surely get in trouble if Jay caught his subtle glances.

An exhausted sigh left her lips when they reached her destination, her shoulders slumping as she stood in front of a rather tall building. "Come on, now," Jay had clasped his hand around her arm and dragged her inside- Jake and Sunghoon followed.

"I can walk on my own," she complained, a breathy whine escaping her throat as they entered a meeting room. Empty, it was- a long table surrounded by cushioned chairs for privileged backs to lean on.

"I know, I just don't want my baby sister to get lost in this mess," he taunted. "So, listen carefully and just follow the rules, yeah?"

"You make this sound like mission impossible," she groaned. "Why are you making this such a big deal? I'm just meeting one of your colleagues," she argued, tilting her head to the side.

"You're meeting a colleague that's killed people for fun," he glared. "As surprising as it may seem, I'd like to keep you alive."

"You've killed people too. What's the difference?" She almost chuckled, disbelief taking over her features.

Jay had the same reaction. "The difference is that I'm your brother," he reminded. "Now, can you just listen?"

"Fine. I'm listening."

"Good," he started. "When Andrei comes in, he's gonna want to see you. obviously. All you have to do is behave, smile like the little princess you are and minimally answer all his questions. Simple enough, right?" He shrugged his shoulders, a sarcastic smile appearing on his face.

"Right," Y/N rolled her eyes.

"Exactly," he enthused. "When he's done talking to you, Jake will take you away and you'll wait in the bar, right across from this room," he pointed his arm out the door, towards the area he was referring to. "Sunghoon will join you later."

"Great plan, brother," it was clearly a sardonic compliment. "Keeping me alive and all... You deserve an award."

"I'm not in the mood for jokes, Y/N," he sighed and she furrowed her brows, telling him that she wasn't joking either.

Her reaction went ignored when the door to the meeting room flung open, revealing a man taller than the three boys Y/N was surrounded by. She presumed it was Andrei and he did fit the mental image she created for him. Tall, as old as her dad and holding pride as he walked in.

All three boys curtly turned their heads towards him, bodies stiffening as they greeted him with their hands meeting in the middle. "It's good to see you boys," he smiled.

"It's good to see you too, boss," Jay exhaled, letting go of his hand. Y/N lightly gaped at her brother, confused by his choice of... Words.

Andrew crisply turned around, surprised when his gaze was met with the presence of Y/N. He bellowed out a chuckle, brows raising as his arms extending past him. "My, God!" He cheered. "I didn't actually think you'd bring her," he directed towards Jay.

"I thought it'd be nice if you took a trip down memory lane," Jay offered, shrugging.

"It's been years since I've seen you!" Then he wrapped his arms around her, bringing her into a hug.

Y/N was taken by surprise as her cheek pressed into the man's chest. She didn't know what he was talking about, she didn't know what either of them were talking about and Andrei sure as hell didn't seem like he was the murderous type. Towards her, at least. So the confusion stayed on her face when she was released from the embrace.

"Do you remember me, sweetheart?" Andrei asked.

Y/N shook her head, almost embarrassed. "I'm sorry," she chuckled.

"Oh, I don't blame you," he waved it off. "You were a baby the last time I saw you, clinging to your father's side," he smiled warmly, a stark contrast to the description she received of him.

"I'm sure she'll remember if our dad gives her a little push towards remembering," Jay smiled sarcastically again. Andrei agreed with a laugh.

"Regardless," Andrei started. "It's good to see you, Y/N."

"Goodie," Jay clasped his hands together, ushering at Jake with a nod. "I'd rather have my sister out of here before the rest arrive. Wouldn't want her to die of boredom," he took two steps towards his sister, a hand pressing on her back as Jake stood on her other side.

Andrei raised a questioning brow, turning to Sunghoon who answered with an inattentive shrug.

"I have so many questions," Y/N whispered to Jay.

"I'll answer them later," Jay added. "If I feel like it."

Then, Jake was guiding her away to the bar. It was like the previous night all over again as he helped her sit on one of the chairs, keeping the meeting room out of her sight. Y/N dryly laughed, scratching the corner of her brow with her pinky.

"He calls this entertainment," the span of her palms spread across her thighs.

"He's just being protective," Jake debated.

Y/N shook her head again, chuckling out of disbelief. She ordered a glass of wine- a whiskey for Jake with it. The thought of being granted recreation was completely thrown out the window as her eyes met with Jake's.

She scoffed. "You'd think that the right-hand man has to sit through every meeting," she commented.

"There's a lot more to my job than attending meetings and tending to your brother's requests," he chuckled. "Besides, my presence isn't required. We already know what the meeting's about."

"Wow," Y/N leaned her head on her shoulder. "There's a lot about my brother I'm unaware of," she stated. With that, it sounded like she affirmed it.

"I'm sure he'll give you your answers when he thinks your ready."

"I'm eighteen and he's been dragging me along for three years. I think I'm ready," she sipped her wine, eyes narrowed at the sight of Jake sighing. Her shoulders slumped again. "You know," she trailed. "Jay treats you more like a sibling than me."

Jake's eyes widened, almost coughed up his whiskey as he gawked at her. Her statement came out nonchalantly, almost like she'd been waiting to finally say it.

At his reaction, Y/N laughed, waving her hand in front of her as she put away her wine. "No, no," he coaxed. "Don't freak out, I'm just saying," she grinned.

He wiped the corner of his mouth with the side of his hand. "You don't just say things like that," he scoffed.

"Eh," she shrugged a shoulder. "Am I wrong?"

"You are," he insisted.

"You could be wrong, too," she reasoned. "But then again, he wouldn't be treating the lot of you like playthings if he actually cared," Y/N raised her brows, hiding her expression by drinking her wine.

"Playthings," he echoed. "You throw that phrase around a lot- what do you even mean by it?" He weaved his fingers together, perfectly styled hair falling over his left eye, curiosity taking over his duty.

"Well," Y/N pondered, swirling around her wine glass. "You let him boss you around, use you, made sure that your sole purpose was to serve him-"

"Alright, I'm gonna stop you right there," he silenced her with a wave of her hand and she couldn't help but realise how similar he was to her brother. She exhaled, giving up. "You sound really stupid."

"Is that so?" She hummed. "Please enlighten me," she squinted her eyes, pulling her bottom lip between her teeth.

"He doesn't use us or boss us around," he waved around his fingers, body language suddenly animated. "You think he's some sort of monster and I don't blame you for it but he cares, Y/N. He just shows it in a messed up way," he crossed one leg over the other, finishing his whiskey in one gulp.

"I feel very cared for," she rolled her eyes.

Y/N wasn't going to admit the pit she felt in her chest, a rock of disgust and jealousy churning her stomach, making her abandon her wine. It stung to know that he treated his friends better than he treated his own sister.

"Protect me, my ass," she mumbled, rolling her head and looking past Jake's shoulder.

Heeseung, Niki, Jungwon and Sunoo walked down the hall, leading a small crowd into the meeting room. Her fingers drummed against the counter, lips pursing as she pondered.

"Listen," she heard Jake sigh. "I know it stings but he cares for you. More than any of us. Hence the overprotective act he puts on," he coaxed.

"Act?" She huffed. "Was that supposed to make me feel better?"

"I mean, did it work?" He tried, clearly getting a laugh out of her.

"No."

"Fair," he pursed his lips. "Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?"

"We don't even know each other," she said it like it was the most obvious thing in the world, pointing between themselves.

"So?" He asked. "We can get to know each other now?" He offered.

"Is that allowed?"

Jake smirked, tracing his tongue over his teeth. "I'll let you in on a secret," he whispered, leaning closer to her for dramatic effect. "Your brother trusts me more than anyone, which means he trusts me around you more than Jungwon or Sunoo."

Y/N raised a brow, smirking back. "Which means what?"

"He doesn't mind me interacting with you," he let out. "I've always been looking out for you. Longer than Sunoo and Jungwon."

She gaped at his confession, a shiver of shock running down her spine. "How am I only finding out about this now?" She inquired.

He shrugged. "I told you. There's a lot more to being the right-hand man than you think," he grinned. "Plus, he knows you're going crazy. That's why he needs me to tag along with him if he's bringing you," he explained.

"And here I thought my day was ruined," she enthused, finding it in her to finish her abandoned wine. "So Jungwon and Sunoo aren't my bodyguards anymore?"

"I guess you could say that," he said. "They're not gonna be locked in your room with you all day. They have other work to tend to for now is all I know. And I'll be looking after you when you need to be."

With the new information that was practically being fed to her, Y/N felt a rush of relief wash over her. "I can be alone in my room now," she gushed.

"Yeah," Jake chuckled, nodding.

She was still being babied, she knew. But the little splinter of freedom she was being given gave her a little hope. Maybe this was just the beginning of a better future, maybe Jay was realising how unfair he had always been. Regardless, she still felt happy and confident.

Hopefully, nothing would burst that bubble.

"And, by the way," he added. "You didn't hear any of this from me."

"Of course," she grinned and Jake found his hand moving towards hers, cupping it right on top of her knuckles. Y/N didn't oppose it, she let his contact be the big red bow to her good day.

Jake thought her skin was warm. He thought the sight of their hands touching was more than just a pretty picture. He thought he wanted to hold her hand for longer than he'd like. He spent more than a couple of years watching over her like a fairy godmother- or guardian angel, whatever it was they called them these days. This was probably the last thing he expected, but it happened.

He wished for the moment to last a little longer, but Y/N's face contorted into realisation, her gaze moving past his shoulder. She slipped her hand away from his, clearing her throat and dusting her dress as Sunghoon stood in front of them, the same stoic expression gracing his expression.

"The meeting's almost over. Jay should be out soon," he informed and Y/N nodded, pulling her lips to the side.

Before Sunghoon could make himself comfortable on one of the stools and enjoy himself a drink, Jay was striding towards them. With his hands balled into fists, his arms swung as he approached them.

Y/N found it in herself to smile at her brother, head innocently tilting as he looked at her with confusion. "What?" He asked. "What's so amusing? Why are you smiling?" He wondered, looking between her and Jake.

"Am I not allowed to smile?" She blinked innocently.

"You don't smile for no reason," he pointed out, then rolled his eyes. "Where's the angry remark I usually get?"

Jake and Sunghoon exchanged glances.

"Don't be a bore, Jay," Y/N chuckled. "I'm just excited to ask you those questions I was talking about earlier."

Jay sucked in a breath, face relaxing as realisation washed over him. He glanced at the ceiling, then at the ground, helplessly sighing. He only realised just how much his sister was going to pester him.

"Let's just go, shall we?" He pursed his lips.

Jay grabbed her forearm, smoothly dragging her out of her stool and past the hallway, all the way down to the ground floor. Y/N let him, yet curious questions tumbled out of her mouth, none stop. By the time they reached the car, Jay was annoyed.

He ushered Jake and Sunghoon to get in the car as he held Y/N by the arm, glaring at her until she shut up and gave him a reaction deemed serious enough. "What do you want from me?" He fumed.

Y/N took a deep breath, throwing away the questions she had on Andrei, or her parents or about the business he leads. Instead, she pursed her lips into a smile. "I just want you to be my brother," she freely admitted.

"I am your brother."

"But you don't act like one!" She argued. "I just want you to let me live my life and be happy when I find happiness. I want you to let me explore the places you drag me to, let me interact with people," she listed breathlessly, hope filling her voice.

"Y/N, you know how dangerous it is to just let you wander," he sighed. "I'm not willing to take that risk."

Her tongue poked her cheek as her brother looked away, eyes frantically blinking as a wind blew past them. "Okay, then Jake can follow me around while I go wandering," she offered. "You trust him, and he keeps me safe. I'll be a good girl and won't talk to strangers."

Jay immediately let out a chuckle. "What did you and Jake talk about while I was gone?"

Her brows furrowed, lips forced into a frown. "What? We didn't talk," she insisted. "it was more of a chat. And he didn't exactly tell me anything."

With that, Jay pondered, hands resting on his hips as he looked his sister up and down. He sighed defeatedly. "Fine," he said. "I'm not going to let you wander all by yourself. You can stay in your room alone and do whatever you want but when you're outside, you're either with me or him. Understood?"

Y/N couldn't help the smile that reached her eyes, stretching her cheeks and showing her teeth. She'd jump up and down if she could. "Understood," she said to him.

"Good," he nodded. "I trust him enough to know that he'll do whatever it takes to keep you safe. So, make friends with him or something, I don't know. I'm only letting you do this because I don't want you going crazy."

"I know," she nodded, lovingly looking at her brother who had his guard down. "Thank you, brother."

"Don't make me regret this," he warned and she was being piled into the car, sitting in the back seat with Jake.

As Sunghoon started driving, Jake managed to catch Y/N's attention. He curiously nodded at her, silently asking what she was smiling about. She only shrugged at him and looked away, hands resting on the exposed skin of her knee.

She was alone when she reached her, a silence she accompanied on her own. She starting squealing out of joy, skipping towards the bathroom with a smile that refused to leave her face. Music blasted through her phone and she shamelessly sang along.

Dinner was sent to her room later in the night and she happily located herself on the bed, duvet pooling at her waist as the TV played a random movie she'd never watched or understood. Nevertheless, she watched intently, wide eyes scanning across the subtitles as she stuffed her mouth with carbonara pasta.

She didn't cross paths with her brother since their merry little conversation. And neither did she expect to see him or any of his friends. But her door creaked open, and a familiar set of fingers adorned with a familiar set of rings held the door frame and Y/N was wiping her mouth and placing her plate on a table.

Deja vu washed over her.

"Jake?" She raised a brow as he entered the room without an invitation, slowly and softly clicking the door closed behind him.

Jake gazed at her with doe-eyes, filled with some amount of hope and desperation. His lips crooned into a sheepish smile as his fingers laced together in front of him. "When I said I wanted us to get to know each other, I meant it."

Y/N smiled involuntarily, blinking twice as Jake took two steps towards her bed. She had to admit, the conversation she had with him was forgotten about, overshadowed by the satisfaction of her new predicament.

For starters, she didn't know if Jake alone was allowed in there. She didn't know how her brother would react if he found out he was in her room. Bending and breaking the rules so early into freedom wasn't the best idea.

But what the hell did she know? She let him walk right up to her.

"I don't know why but something in me thought it'd be a good idea to sneak into your room," he chuckled, pulling a chair towards the foot of her bed. He sat comfortably, eyes trained on the sight of Y/N pulling the duvet to her shoulders.

"He knows you won't hurt me," she waved it off. "He made it quite clear that he trusts you with his life. Ergo, he trusts you enough to keep my life in the palm of your hands. You chatting with me alone in my room shouldn't bother him-"

"-But Jay's ego is so big that if he finds me here, he'll wig out," he gladly finished for her, waving around his fingers as he spoke. "He told me about the small changes he allowed."

"Exactly," she laughed.

"Were you just saying all that to convince yourself that it's fine for me to be here?" He inquired, smirking

"Maybe," she trailed. "I just don't want to mess up, cross a line, have Jay find out and wig out and treat me like a doll again. You know?" She shrugged, belting out her explanation with a single breath.

"I know," Jake nodded, giving her a comforting smile.

Y/N had to wonder why she was letting this happening, why she found herself enjoying his company and the conversations he started up. She could have easily chalked it up to the lack of human interaction during all these years. She could have easily chalked it up to the desperation of needing valid attention.

He was sitting in front of her, with the first two buttons of his shirt undone, his fingers trailing up and down his thigh and he listened and spoke. He had a perfectly charming smile and a perfectly carved nose. He had eyes shaped like pointy almonds and his laugh- Y/N loved making him laugh.

If Y/N could box up his laugher and get lost in how ridiculously restricted it sounded, she would. Perhaps it was his laughter that put her to sleep that night, unaware of just how tired the adrenaline rush made her.

But it was the same adrenaline rush and the absence of laughter that woke her up hours later. Her head lifted off her pillow with a gasp, hands fisting her duvet when she realised Jake was still in her room, sleeping in the chair with his head thrown back.

The sight of him at peace didn't stop her from gaping, though. "Oh, my God," she said, then repeated herself a little louder. That was enough for Jake's eyes to shoot open and look around in complete confusion.

"What?" He rubbed his eyes with his palms, fingers scaling through his scalp as he fixed his hair. "What is it?" He mumbled.

Y/N squinted her eyes, forgetting for a split second that he wasn't supposed to be in her room. "How is it that your hair is still perfect?" Her lips parted while she dramatically parted.

Jake's face fell, a disinterest washing over him as he stared at the messily clothed girl in front of him. "You were freaking out a second ago and now this?" He raised his brows.

"Oh, yeah!" Her fingers buried in her face. "You're still in my room!" She reminded him like it was no big deal but the clench of her jaw betrayed her.

The warm Italian sun was rising and shone its light through the curtains. Jake found himself flinching at the hasty realisation, jumping out of his chair and straightening his shirt. "Shit," he cursed. "I'm not supposed to be here."

"No shit Sherlock!" Y/N scoffed, pushing the duvet off her legs and trudging towards the door. "Go back to your room before Jay wakes up," she opened the door and Jake gladly followed with fisted hands.

"You think he'll find out?" He stood at the entrance, hands holding the doorframe.

"He will if you stay any longer," she closed the door as a scoff left his lips. "I'm sorry you had to sleep on a chair!" Then the door clicked shut and her back leaned on the door, a hand running down her face.

It was then she realised the grim on her face and stench on her skin but she didn't find it in her to shower. Instead, she mulled over the number of ways the rest of the day could go while sitting on the edge of her bed and fixating on the chair Jake had slept on.

Now that she thought about it, her hotel room wasn't as spacious as she thought. The ivory carpet was comfortable, and the golden lights seemed to brighten the bathroom more than the actual room. The bed was large and had pillows cosier than the ones back at home- Jay's house.

All of that didn't matter because today would be the day she would venture the streets of Naples and eat something other than five-star dishes for every meal. The thought brought a smile on her face, an exhausted smile but a smile nonetheless.

When she moved towards her suitcases, her door opened again and her face fell, lips pursing. "Good morning," she heard her brother say, his sarcastic smile could be heard from a mile away.

"Morning," she sang, the same sarcastic smile spreading on her face as she turned to look at him.

"You're chipper," he commented. "Why?"

He was oblivious to the fact that his trusted, loyal and honest right-hand man was previously in the room.

"Because I have a request that I know you won't turn down," she smiled ignorantly, a sparkle in her eyes and Jay strolled towards her, rolling his eyes.

"Ah, yes," he mused. "Last day in Italy and the first day of filling your dream of getting the small sliver of freedom you've been chasing," he taunted, holding up his thumb and index as he described what he meant by small.

"Come on, don't ruin my mood," she slapped his chest with the back of her hand. "When are we leaving, anyway?"

"Late in the evening," he informed. "So whatever activities you have planned for today, they better fit the schedule," he added.

"Don't worry," she said. "I just want to go shopping and try pastries," she shrugged. Jay's face contorted into mild disgust.

"You really are miserable," he commented, though it was obvious to be passed on as a joke.

"No, I just want to enjoy the little things in life," she insisted.

"Please, don't become a romantic," he whined, his hand raising to hover in front of him.

"I've always been a romantic," she snarled. "You'd know that if you bothered to spend a little time with me."

"You'd be surprised," he rolled his eyes. "Just don't drag Jake into your romantic fantasies," he waved his hand.

"You're not funny," she rolled her eyes. "And for someone who trusts Jake so much, you really have a way of being subtle about your concerns," she pointed out. "Why?"

"Doesn't matter how much I trust him," Jay replied. "I know you and I know you'll do something stupid and drag him into it with you. Why did you think I ordered Sunoo and Jungwon never to talk to you?"

"Seriously?" She scoffed, mouth gaping. "You thought I'd fall in love with them or something?"

"No," he trailed. "But that might as well happen with Jake."

"Wow, you trust him so much," he taunted, drawling out her sarcasm.

"Seriously, Y/N. Don't make me regret being lenient," he scrunched up his face. "And it's weird enough that I'm having a conversation about love and emotions with you," he cringed while pulling out his phone. Y/N assumed he was going to call Jake.

She agreed with a tut, hands reaching into her suitcase to find new clothes to wear. Curiosity washed over her and she looked at her brother through her lashes. She licked her lips. "What would you do if something did happen between him and me?"

Her question was unacknowledged because he already had his phone pressed to his ear.

When Jake entered his hotel room, he wasn't expecting Heeseung and Sunghoon to be sitting on his bed, with looks of what he thought was concern on their faces. He furrowed his brows and tilted his head. "What are you doing here?"

"Waiting for you," Heeseung replied. "You're supposed to join us for breakfast in a couple minutes, Jake. Where were you?"

Heeseung and Sunghoon glared at him, though it was unintentional. Jake looked between the pair with hard eyes, contemplating if he could be honest with them. They'd find out, anyway. One way or another.

"I was in Y/N's room the entire night," he confessed.

Heeseung's jaw fell and he stood up, stepping towards Jake. "What, are you her new bodyguard?"

"I guess you could say that," he shrugged. "But I wasn't supposed to be in her room."

That was enough to have Heeseung leering at him, his hands reaching to fist his collar and dared to threaten him. "Listen," he seethed. "I know Jay won't literally kill us- his friends- when we mess up but his sister is a different story. He will explode if he finds out-"

"Can you calm down?" Jake pushed Heeseung off of himself, just as annoyed as he was. "I was just in there talking to her," he defended.

"Without his permission," Heeseung added.

"He won't find out unless one of us tells him," Jake rolled his eyes.

Heeseung looked over his shoulder to connect his eyes with Sunghoon. The pair were worried, for Jake and themselves. They'd keep a secret, no questions asked, but it wouldn't take long for the situation to unravel and become something more than a mess.

"You're gonna get caught up with her," Heeseung warned.

Jake tutted, then scoffed as his hands rested on his hips. "I already am!" He exclaimed. "I've been watching over her for years, I know all her schedules and the books she reads like the back of my hand. Can you honestly blame me for wanting to know more?"

Sunghoon sighed, leaving the bed and strolling towards Jake with furrowed brows. "No, I guess we can't blame you," he agreed, but the twitch on his mouth told him that he had more to say. "But whatever you do, don't get yourself in trouble. Don't throw around Jay's trust. Don't fuck yourself over."

He clapped Jake's shoulder twice and pursed his lips. Before the conversation could continue further, Jake's phone rang and he rushed to get it out of his pocket. "It's Jay," he mumbled but a part of him knew that he wasn't in trouble. He ushered the pair in front of him to calm down when he pressed the phone to his ear.

"Are you awake?" Jay's voice rang loud and clear.

"Wide awake," Jake answered.

"Good," Jay said. "Be ready in thirty minutes. My sister wants to go shopping and as much as I dread it, I'll still have to comply."

Jake found himself chuckling and the boys in front of him looked at him, confused. "Where am I supposed to take her?"

"I don't know, a mall? Some shopping street?" The confusion in Jake's voice was hard to miss. No one could blame him, though. He didn't know the first thing about letting his sister have fun. "She said something about enjoying the little things in life."

"Right, got it," Jake nodded and then hung up the phone.

He ushered Heeseung and Sunghoon out of his room after explaining the schedule for his day. The two boys glanced warningly at him for the last time before Jake shut the door and took a minute to himself. He leaned his back on the door, hands covering his face as he groaned and cursed at himself.

The next half an hour went past like a blur- he wore a shirt similar to the one he wore prior, black pants and leather shoes, a watch to top it all off. When he entered Y/N's room, he walked into the sight of Jay handing Y/N his credit card. They then turned to him and bid him their greetings.

The rest went downhill from there because he found himself driving to the nearest shopping street. Y/N thought malls were suffocating. He found himself glancing at her while she sat beside him, wanting to reach over and play with the end of her sundress.

Then he found himself carrying at least five shopping bags, filled with cheap dresses and tacky jewellery that looked beautiful regardless- and would certainly look stunning on her. She laughed and giggled and twirled as she skipped down the rocky pavement with a newly bought sun hat on her head. It matched her outfit to a tea.

Jake followed her without complaints. He was annoyed, yes, but that didn't stop him from smiling at how happy she was. It was like she was on top of the world, exploring for the first time in her life.

"You know, Jay was being nice to me this morning?" She said while walking beside him, a few shopping bags hanging from her forearm too. "Sort of."

"Oh, yeah?" Jake smirked as she nodded enthusiastically. "What'd he say?"

"Well, he was being his usual overprotective self and all," she started. "But in like a nice way. A funny, trying to keep it loose kind of way. He was talking about love and all with me," she glanced at him from the corner of his eyes, waiting for a response.

"I knew he was trying to be open with you but I wasn't expecting that," he chuckled. "What'd he say exactly?"

"To not drag you into a mess," she responded nonchalantly with a shrug.

"Me?" He asked, blinking with surprise as he gripped the shopping bags tighter. "Odd," he commented.

"I know," she crooned. "He thinks I'll fall in love with you or something. I don't blame him for thinking that but Jay saying it out loud is just weird."

Jake stared at the ground, swallowing a lump in his throat as he nodded. His hair covered his forehead, rosy red lips threatening to fall into a frown. "Yeah," he said. "Weird."

Y/N laughed, apologising for even bringing up the topic and skipping past him and into a cafe. He followed with a groan, padding his way past the door and letting her order whatever it was that she was craving- a cheesecake, blonde brownies and two cups of coffee, one for her and the other for him.

They found a booth somewhere in the corner, against the yellow bricked wall and beside a few potted plants. They rid themselves of the weight of the shopping bags and sat across from each other, sipping their coffees and enjoying the warm blonde brownies and cheesecake.

"Did you enjoy today?" Jake asked while he jabbed his fork into Y/N's cheesecake.

"Very much," she grinned, chewing on a mouthful of brownies. "I plan on dragging Jay into my room so I can do a little haul for him. I'm sure he'll love it."

"He'll suffer," he laughed and as did she, agreeing.

"I'm just trying to bond with him," she reasoned. "He'll go back to being cold-hearted soon but I plan on breaking that shell," she smiled proudly.

"Well, good luck on that," Jake offered. "I'm sure he'll come around."

"Hopefully," she groaned. "I want to have a good relationship with someone from my family," she grabbed a fork and dug at her cheesecake too.

"You don't talk to your parents?"

"Nope," she shook her head. "Jay acts like a messenger between them and me. They basically just handed me over to Jay and said figure it out. I have no idea why but I'm honestly better off," she explained.

Jake didn't understand how none of what she said bothered her. Or maybe it did, the indifference of her demeanour just hid it. He didn't know. "Why are you better off?"

"Because," she started, running her tongue across her teeth. "My parents are worse than my brother. Jay at least tries to keep me happy. My parents would just throw me in some room," she cringed.

"They can't be that bad," Jake furrowed his brows.

"Fine, maybe I exaggerated," she confessed. "But they still don't care."

"I didn't know all that," he waved his at her.

"Oh, really?" Y/N raised her brows in surprise. "I thought Jay would have told all of you."

"He never talks about it."

"Don't blame him for that either."

"Yeah," he agreed, shaking the great of his questions out of his head. He blinked and wet his lips. "What else do you have planned for the day?"

"Nothing else, I had my fair share of fun," she finished the cheesecake. "Why? Do you have something in mind?"

As a matter of fact, Jake did have something in mind. He was going to take her to Museo Cappella Sansevero which wasn't far from where they currently were. He was going to take her to an aquarium as well and call it an unofficial date.

He'd tell Sunghoon all about how she enjoyed it and how he made her laugh. He'd brag about how he spent an entire day with a pretty girl in a building surrounded by ancient paintings and sculptures and he'd gloat about how he took pictures of her in front of fish tanks.

Well, the fantasy was thrown out the window as the image of Jay's livid face fogged his head. It was only then that he realised the idea of an unofficial date was foolish. Selfish, too. Y/N might as well have laughed in his face if he carried it out.

So he just shook his head, a tight-lipped smile answering her question. "We don't have much time before the evening," he reminded. "We should get back soon so you can torture your brother with your haul."

That is exactly what she did. She dragged Jay out of his room and into hers and forced him to sit on a chair. Despite his groans, objections and complaints, he still sat with his fingers weaved on his thigh. Y/N put on a parade, showing him the various tops, skirts and dresses she bought.

Jay thought the necklaces and earrings she got were garish. Y/N silenced him and continued gushing. She talked about how warm the sun was and how she talked to the shop owners with the little Italian she learnt in her free time. She told him about the lovely cafe where she and Jake enjoyed a cheesecake and coffee.

"What, like a date?" Was Jay's response and Y/N threw a pillow at his disappointed face.

"The thought didn't cross my mind," she said. "Even if I do end up falling for your right-hand man, you should allow it because you trust him so much-"

"One, don't cross the line. It doesn't matter how much I trust him, my ego will still get hurt," he cut her off. "Two, Jake shall not find out about this conversation," he held up two fingers. "Three, I'm never talking about love with you ever again. And four, I'm trying to be a better brother so let me."

Y/N laughed at him, collapsing on her bed as Jay chuckled with her. They couldn't remember the last time they laughed together, a moment where anger or arguments didn't come into the way of siblingly bonding.

That smile stayed on her face as she was being guided around the airport, arm linked with her stoic-faced brother who gently sat her down beside him in the charted flight. They didn't talk. In fact, the siblings enjoyed the comfortable silence between them as one read a magazine and the other sat with earphones plugged.

When they reached home, Jay told her to sleep in her room while he and the rest of the boys dealt with something he wouldn't tell her about. "You can worry about unpacking tomorrow," he said and she fell right to sleep.

She thought her sleep schedule would start messing up if she kept waking up in the middle of the night. A creak made her groan awake and as she opened her eyes, she was met by the sight of Jake and his innocent smile.

Y/N tiredly smiled back at him, mumbling out a question that neither of them could comprehend. He chuckled, allowing his fingers to brush away the hair from her face. She rubbed her eyes, pushing herself to lean against her headboard. "What are you doing here?" She murmured.

"Thought I'd wish you a good night," he whispered back, crouching down to get a better look at her.

"How sweet of you," she cracked a smile, leaning into the fingers that rested against her cheek. "But you didn't have to wake me up."

"Sorry, I wasn't trying to," he coyed. "I'm not supposed to be here," he said, reminding himself rather than informing her.

"No, no you're not," she agreed. "But now you woke me up and I won't fall back asleep any time soon," her expression fell somewhere between a pout and frown and Jake found himself swooning.

"I can't sleep either," he shrugged a shoulder, tracing his fingers down her jaw.

Y/N doesn't respond to that, just smiled warmly and moved enough to push away her blanket. Jake looked at her a little confused, then questioningly but complied anyway. He crawled beside her, meekly moving his arm over her shoulders and she gladly got comfortable.

"If only Jay could see this," she snorted. "He'd be furious if he saw his right-hand man putting his sister to sleep."

"Which is why you need to speak a little more quietly," he uttered, but the pair laughed anyway. They struggled to hold it in and ended up in a laughing mess. But they were quiet enough. Nobody woke up.

"Sorry," she chuckled. "My sense of humour is broken."

"Pretty obvious."

Y/N laughed at that again, one hand covering her mouth and the other lightly hitting his chest. "Oh, my God," she snickered. "Not laughing is harder than I thought."

"Tell me about it," Jake took a deep breath. "But it's better than lying awake all night with nothing to do, right?"

"Exactly."

The pair turn towards each other, eyes connecting for only a second, smiles stretching to create a memory that would probably be burnt into their heads. Y/N looks away first, mostly because it was an involuntary action but also because she wasn't ready to break another rule in one night. Jake took a second, eyes easily gliding down the bridge of her nose to the turn of her jaw. Then he looked away too.

It was quiet for exactly twenty seconds where Y/N thought about what conversation to strike up next while Jake's head was riddled with ifs and possibilities of what would happen if Jay walked into her room. It was probably not the best thing to think about while her head was nestling into his arm.

"Why do you think Jay is trying to be better?"

Turns out, Y/N was thinking about the same person. A different reason but the same person, regardless. Fear was what she felt, a small dent in her stomach bringing her nerves. She knew what she was doing was wrong, to be letting herself feel so comfortable lying next to someone she acquainted with for less than a week.

"Because you asked him," he said, though he wasn't so sure of his answer. "He probably realised that he can't control you for the rest of your life."

"I hope so," she sighed. "I'm turning nineteen soon, I'd like to build a life for myself," she stated.

Jake shifts his head, eyes glancing at her hair. "When?"

"In a week," she said, fingers reaching to play with the ends of her hair.

"Oh, Yeah," he breathed. "I remember."

"You do?" Y/N shifted her head too and Jake's chin touches her hair. She doesn't seem to give a response to the contact but a swarm of butterflies rushed to his stomach and a chill ran down his spine- stark emotions colliding within his body.

"Of course," he swallowed. "Jay always reminds us. He gets excited."

"Really?" Her heart swelled, a warmth wrapping around her as she realised just how much her brother actually cared. "I didn't know."

"He didn't want you to know," he said. "He'd be embarrassed if he found out you knew."

"I can keep a secret," she grinned.

Jake grinned back, tightly. "What presents does he give you?"

"A ring," she simply said and Jake's brows lifted at the mundane response.

"A ring?"

"Yeah," she nodded enthusiastically. "Every year since I was three, he buys me a ring for every birthday. I'm going to get the sixteenth one next week," she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. "I'm only realising how much he cares."

"I don't blame you," he cleared his throat, slumping further into her bed. That made her head fall against his shoulder- he had no complaints. "The bad parts overshadow the good parts, most of the time."

"That's true," she nodded.

They were both tired, it was becoming rather obvious. Y/N smacked her lips together, eyes fighting to stay open. But she slipped into slumber, soon enough. Jake didn't notice until he looked at her again, her breath steady and moonlight highlighting her cheekbone.

He sighed in defeat, slowly sliding his arm away as she fell back on her pillow and Jake slipped out of her bed. He took the liberty to properly drape the blanket over her body, covering her arms and legs equally. She nuzzled into her pillow, humming. He slowly crept out of her room.

The nights leading to her birthday went the same way. She didn't ask him to, but he'd slip into her room to talk to her every night. He'd blame it on the lack of interaction between them during the day because he was either busy with paperwork or she was given no other choice but to stay in her room.

She usually spent breakfast with Jay, where they would talk about the most random things that came to mind. It was an unspoken rule- for Y/N to never ask about what he did for work every day. She was content enough with laughing and bonding with her brother.

Lunch and dinner, though, she was either sitting alone on the dining table in an empty house or sitting in her room with her face stuffed with food. The tv was usually playing a movie, other times she listened to music.

It wasn't as depressing as it sounded, the constant loop her life scheduled. Because she had two highlights in her days. One in the morning, where she'd chat with her brother and the other at night, where Jake would lay beside her and keep her company until she fell asleep.

Neither did Jake talk about what he did in his day. He'd usually just tell her the gist- exhausting, boring, typical day for someone who worked in the business he did. With that answer, Y/N had to wonder what it was that she was being protected from, why she was being guarded like a precious gem that could be stolen. She realised she'd rather not know and she'd realised that they'd rather not tell. Living in a plane of oblivion was always better.

He once told her about his life in Australia and how he used to be with his parents and big brother. He talked about his dog, Layla, like he was talking about the love of his life and it made her smile. His accent finally made sense.

Y/N didn't have much to tell Jake. Her life was boring. She elaborated on Pearl and how Jay had always had a crush on her when they were kids. They collectively made fun of him for sleeping with her even with the knowledge of her marriage.

She also told him how Jay finally told her about Andrei and how he and her dad were childhood friends. Andrei was the reason Jay was part of a mob and he was the reason they got to live in both luxury and misery.

When her birthday finally came, Jake didn't have the chance to wish her. He knew for a fact that Jay would be surprising her at the stroke of twelve. That was exactly what happened.

Y/N, oblivious to her brother's plans, was still awake, waiting for Jake to come into her like he was doing for the past week. But it was safe to say that she was much happier seeing Jay tip-toe into her room with a small birthday cake in his palms.

He had an excited smile on his face- a smile she rarely saw- as he sang Happy Birthday. A single candle was lit on the birthday cake and she quickly blew it out. The small celebration happened quietly and lasted until the pair managed to finish the cake. Before he let her sleep, despite knowing it'd be hard with the sugar rush, he handed her a birthday gift.

Another ring, like Y/N wished and expected for. A ring that was shaped with flowers, colourful enamel painted on the petals. "That is the opposite of tacky," he said and she laughed at his humour.

She was glad that he could freely joke around with her, regardless of the situation.

She didn't see Jake that entire day because her brother took her out for the first time in a long time. She wasn't complaining, mostly because she was too engrossed in the empty park they walked around and the empty theatre they watched a movie in.

Regardless of how much Jay was willing to let Y/N have fun, he sure as hell wasn't going to pass up an opportunity to book out entire parks and theatres. He had the money, so why not.

Y/N honestly didn't care as long as she was with him. She couldn't remember the last time she enjoyed a day out with her brother.

They got home later in the evening and Y/N agreed to stay in her room for the rest of the day. When she walked past Jungwon and Sunoo, they wished her a happy birthday- she smiled gratefully at them, then shut the door of her room and sunk into the white sheets of her bed.

Suddenly it was like her old life chased her down, following the same loop she was so used to. Today was a rare day, a special day that probably wouldn't be repeating itself until next year. It was just one day.

She wondered if she could plan something special for Jay's birthday, too.

That night, when the moonlight filtered through her curtains and crickets chirped, Jake snuck into her room again, a determined look on his face. He held something in his hand, hiding it behind his back as he cautiously made his way towards her bed.

"Hey," Y/N whispered to him, a beaming smile on her face.

"Hey," he cooed back. "I didn't get to see you all day," he said as he slipped under the sheets beside her.

"I was with Jay the entire day," she explained. "A special birthday surprise," she jazzed her hands, earning a low chuckle from Jake.

"Before you tell me about it," he started. "Happy birthday," he crooned as a finger reached to tap her nose. They smiled at each other, humming. "And I got you something," he added and pulled out an averagely sized box.

Y/N gasped softly. "You really didn't have to," she insisted but he shook his head, ushering her to move and sit in front of him. She complied, both crossing their legs as they sat in front of each other. Jake opened the box to reveal a bracelet, a simple, silver chain that would wrap around her wrist.

"It's not much, but it's something you'd like," he smiled sheepishly.

"You're right," she gushed. "I love it."

"Can I put it on for you?"

She nodded enthusiastically and Jake softly reached for her hands, fingers nimbly wrapping the bracelet around her wrist, cool metal touching warm skin. He was right, it suited her.

"Thank you," she lifted her hand to ogle at the bracelet around her wrist. "It's so pretty."

"Pretty girl deserves pretty gifts," the words slipped out involuntarily. He played it off with a shrug and leaned against the headboard. Y/N trained her eyes on him, moving closer so that their knees were touching. "How'd your day go, then?"

"Oh, right," she chewed the inside of her cheek. "Jay came into my room with cake at exactly twelve in the night and then in the morning we went to a park and ate ice cream. Then we went to watch a movie."

"Jay really did all that?"

"Granted, he did book out the entire park and theatre but it was still fun," she added, a sly grin taking over her pursed lips.

"That's the catch I was waiting for," he laughed. "What about your parents?"

"They messaged me a birthday wish and sent me some money," she scoffed, darting her eyes away for a brief second. "They act like they're some distant relative of mine," she commented.

"At least, you have Jay and me," he offered. Y/N nodded, agreeing with a minuscule grin.

Silence followed with that. Neither of them were complaining, though, because they just gazed at each other, pupils fighting the dim moonlight. Y/N found it in herself to move her hands towards his, nimble fingers playing with his. She always thought he had pretty hands and she knew how bizarre it sounded.

Jake watched as her hands played with his fingers and recalled how he wanted her to do the exact thing. Her index scaled the span of his palm, then the crevices between his knuckles and veins. She paid so much attention to the one thing she was doing, he found it adorable.

"Can you believe that less than two weeks ago, Jay and I were at each others' throats?" She mumbled, a light chuckle following her observation.

Jake hummed. "Can you believe that less than two weeks ago, you and I were strangers to each other?" He nodded between himself and her.

"Yeah," she giggled. "And all it took was for me to be a whiney brat," she muffled the cackle that left her mouth.

Jake laughed at her, chest rising and falling as he felt his heart race, banging against his ribs as Y/N absentmindedly wrapped her palm around his two fingers. Her delicate, little hand around his. He would curse if he could.

"I'm pleased with the way things turned out."

While Y/N nodded, Jake let his free hand wrap around her wrist, tugging her towards him. It was clear that she wasn't expecting it, almost slipping onto his lap. But Jake caught her, his other hand holding her waist as her palms landed on his chest.

He exhaled, chest heaving as her body pressed against his, lips parted. Y/N darted her eyes across his face, flitting to read what he was feeling. "I'm pleased too," she gulped, smiling ever so lightly that anyone could have missed it.

"Good," then his fingers were wrapped around her chin, guiding her face closer to his. Their eyes fluttered shut in unison and Jake caught her lips with his.

Y/N wouldn't say that she felt sparks fly. No, it was something subtler yet more intense. It was like waves of butterflies crashed down on her, the back of her head tingled and her spine would have given up if it wasn't for Jake holding her tight. As her hand travelled towards his jaw, she felt fire between her fingers.

A moan parted from her throat, her brows furrowing when Jake's lips parted from her with a wet smack. Y/N's eyes fluttered open, breathless just as he was. "Was that supposed to be my second birthday gift?"

Jake chuckled dryly, shaking his head as he leaned towards her again. "Take it as whatever you want," he pecked her, repeatedly, punctuating each with a smile as his hands buried in her hair.

If it weren't for the air conditioning, she was sure she'd spontaneously combust out of joy, excitement and ardour. She wouldn't say she was pining over him. Hell, they only started talking a week ago. But a part of her knew he was pining for her, for a longer time than she knew.

He made it quite obvious. He was so nice to her, so caring and endearing. The bracelet as a birthday gift just gave him away. Maybe she was happy, maybe she was scared. She didn't know which overpowered what as her brain turned into mush while he held her.

All she knew was that she liked him and he liked her. What more could she possibly ask for?

Right. Her brother's acceptance.

"Shit," she cursed as Jake's palm pressed the small of her back, her chest arching into his. He sighed, darting his eyes up and down her face before kissing her nose, and then her cheek and then her forehead but his lips found their way back to hers nevertheless.

"What is it?" He breathed, giving up and resting his chin in the croon of her neck. She slumped against him, her arms latching around his neck and the smell of lavender filled her nose.

"Jay," she reminded him.

"I just kissed you," he pointed out. "And you're thinking of your brother?"

"Exactly, you just kissed me," she whined. "And if he finds out-"

"How will he find out?" Jake hummed as Y/N pushed herself off him, sitting inches away from his touch. His fingertips traced her cheek, pushing back any strand of hair that covered her face.

Oh, how long he had waited for this exact moment, to have her freely for him to touch. For her hands to explore his face and chest and for his hands to disappear in her hair. But there would always be something stopping him- them.

"I don't know," she hissed. "It's Jay! He'll find out somehow!"

"Then let's just hope he doesn't find out any time soon," he tried. "I'm not gonna let him ruin this."

Then Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach again and she fought the smile that threatened to grace her features. Jake didn't hesitate to grin, pulling her closer to him and letting his hand roam her waist, fingers sliding under her shirt and trailing lines across the band of her pants.

She giggled, lips tracing his jaw and complaint that she felt ticklish. He told her that it was the whole point- she whined as she kissed his jugular. Jake's hands refused to leave her hips, he held her in place, praying that he could have a few more minutes to spend just like that.

They didn't know how long they stayed that way, lips on each other's necks, hands teasing the little exposed skin they could find. But however long it was, nothing seemed to be enough. Jake left her room when Y/N started feeling sleepy. He left with a kiss to her head and mouth and slipped past her door.

She woke up early regardless and she chalked it up to the adrenaline that still surged through her veins. The previous night's activities dazed her head as she raced down the stairs and into the kitchen. Jay sat at the dining table just like she expected, a plate of waffles with whipped cream sitting in front of him. His attention stayed on his phone, though, even when she settled beside him.

"Good morning," she sang but received no answer. Well, if she counted a hum as an answer, then so be it.

The cook hurried to hand her a plate of waffles as well and she smiled at him, reaching for a fork and knife. She wasted no time in eating, oblivious to the way her brother's jaw clenched and unclenched, eyes narrowed to an empty screen on her phone.

"Did you wake up on the wrong side of the bed or something?" She chuckled, chewing a mouthful of waffles.

Jay tutted, shaking his head and shoving his phone into his pocket. "I might as well have," he grumbled. "How does one react to finding their right-hand man sneaking out of their sister's room in the middle of the night," and his hand reached for a tissue, wiping it between his fingers.

Y/N stilled her actions, fork falling out of her hand as her eyes connected with her brother. He was truly livid, fires of anger blazing in his eyes as his fingers intertwined under his chin.

"What?" She blinked, a chill running down her spine. Her hand hovered in the air, hair falling into her eyes, mouth agape.

"Don't play dumb," he rolled his eyes. "Do you know how angry I was?"

"What did you do?" She panicked, palms pressing against the slick wood of the table. The cutlery shook, her plate might as well have dropped to the floor.

"Yelled at him for a good fucking hour," he seethed.

"That's all you did?"

Jay doesn't respond but takes his knife and fork to his waffles. Y/N watched patiently but it felt like her head could detonate at any given second. The worse possible scenarios crossed her mind- was Jake still his right-hand man?

"He's still alive, if that's what you're wondering," he said nonchalantly. "He's not just my right-hand man. He's my best friend. I'm not cruel enough to kill him."

If she could, she would sigh out of relief. But more questions surfaced. But she wasn't in a place to ask him anything. After all, she did betray him.

"Not two weeks and he's bought you a gift for your birthday and had the nerve to kiss you," he let out a breath in disappointment. Y/N bowed her head down, embarrassed by just how much he knew. She couldn't blame Jake for confessing, though. She would have confessed too. "To be fair, it was inevitable, right? Falling for the brother's best friend- you've always been a clichè, right, Y/N?."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, playing with her thumbs. She wasn't sure if it was the right thing to say but it was the only appropriate response she could muster.

Jay ignored her, continuing to eat calmly. The shiny watch on his wrist slid up and down as he moved his arm while eating. Y/N knew her brother well enough to know that he was seconds away from exploding into fury. This was the calm before the storm, for all she knew.

"You'd think that I wouldn't mind you having a rendezvous with him. You know, because I trust him and whatnot," he continued, echoing the words she had said to him before. "But that's the thing. I remember telling you not to drag him into your romantic fantasies," he chewed on another piece of his waffle.

Y/N sat in her chair shaking, wondering how on earth she messed up so bad. Not two weeks and she had ruined her chance of freedom and a better relationship with her brother. Not two weeks and she proved that she didn't deserve anything she asked for.

"Now I'm sitting here with my ego hurt. And we all know how I am when my ego is hurt" he reminded. "But I'm torn between minding my own business and doing something about it. So tell me, what should I do?"

It was a rhetorical question. Y/N knew that. She felt like a little girl being scolded by her parents after committing a small crime. But this wasn't a small crime. It was a mistake that might as well cost her relationship with her brother. So she just sat there and took it. She was on the verge of tears, the corners of her lips twitching downwards.

"Because I don't want to do something about it. You're legally an adult. You can do whatever you want, right?" He coaxed, staring daggers into her head. "Right?" Y/N hesitantly nodded as he persisted. "Which means you can take care of yourself. So why need me at all? Why do I have to bend over backwards to do everything in my power to make sure not a hair on your head gets hurt?"

"Jay-"

"I'm doing everything I can to keep you safe," he said. "But guess what? You aren't the only one telling me that I'm being unfair. Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jungwon- all of them. I don't want to know why they have a sudden interest in you and the way I treat you. But call it peer pressure. I was being convinced. And not two weeks, you find a way to make me regret being nice to you."

"So you only put effort into being a better brother because of them?"

"No, Y/N. Everything I did was so I could call you a sister. So that you could look at me like I'm your brother. Not some monster that locks you up in your room all day," he insisted, slamming the cutlery in his hands onto the table. "Can you blame me for being angry that you and Jake have your thing going on?"

"No."

"What am I going to do when you have a falling out? What am I going to do if Jake, my right-hand man, my best friend, is the reason you get hurt?" He retorted, eyes squinting. "I can't abandon him. Neither can I abandon you, can I?"

"What if we don't have a falling out?" With the sudden surge of confidence, Y/N spoke back, head tilting at her proposal.

"Funny thing is, Jake said the same thing," he scoffed. Like on cue, Jake was walking into the kitchen. The fear in his eyes covered by the clench in his jaw and fisted hands. Jay and Y/N turned their heads to look at him. "You did say that, didn't you, Jake?"

Jake nodded, training his eyes on Jay as Y/N willed herself not to cry. Everything was going to be fine.

"But that's the thing. Who are you to predict what might happen in the future?" He pursued. "It's always best to prepare for the worse, right?"

"But why?" Y/N whispered. "Nothing bad will happen- Jay, I like him," she reasoned. The girl might as well burst into sobs as she pointed between Jake and herself. "You and him are the only people I have in my life."

"I know," Jay growled. "That is what leads me to my conclusion."

Jake and Y/N shared glances, both scared and confused. "What's your conclusion?" Jake urged.

Silence was what followed as Jay continued eating. All Y/N and Jake could do was stare and wait patiently. This was their punishment, the silence that followed the verdict. The numerous thoughts and possibilities that conjured in their heads.

What could possibly happen now?

The sound of metal clattering with porcelain seemed to be the only distraction. Y/N fought the urge to coax him, force an answer out of him because she swore if she waited any longer, she'd go crazy.

Jay even stood up and kept his plate in the dishwasher. He cleared his throat, dusted his shirt and ran a hand through his annoyingly bleached blonde hair. He glanced at his sister and his right-hand man and gave them a curt not.

"You can do whatever you want."

Y/N gaped, her jaw might as well have hit the floor, eyes involuntarily widening as she started her brother up and down. It was safe to say Jake gave the same expression, hands hovering in front of him.

"What?" Y/N asked.

"I'm furious," Jay reminded the pair, the same stoic expression on his face. "But I'll allow it. You're so confident in yourselves, right? So be it, I'll let you two live it down. Call this a test. I was just trying to see if you're answers would stay the same."

"You can't be serious," Jake stared, stepping closer to Y/N.

"I am being serious," Jay said simply. "I accept this relationship," it took every muscle in his body not to cringe.

Then Jay walked out of the kitchen because he didn't know what he would do if he continued the conversation. Y/N and Jake were left frozen in their spots. They were still confused, puzzled at what just happened. So there was no storm, Y/N thought to herself, and he raged for so long just because he was mad.

Would it be appropriate to cause after her brother and hug him? Probably not the right timing.

She knew how much Jay had to suppress to let out the words he just said. So all she could do was be grateful. Her mouth only closed when Jake touched her chin with his fingers. She blinked, shaking her head and looking at Jake.

"What just happened?" She asked.

"I think we just got Jay's blessings," Jake mused, pulling a chair beside her and collapsing in it. A sigh left his lips, hands resting on the table as he tilted his head towards her.

"How are you so calm?"

"Why would I not be?"

Jake looked back to the prior night when Jay had caught him walking out of her room. He looked back to the way Jay seethed at him and spewed words but the tears that brimmed his eyes were unmistakable. Jay wasn't just angry, he was giving Jake the protective brother talk.

Maybe a part of him saw this coming. Jay couldn't do anything to stop it. Well, he could turn to physical force but he wasn't as cruel as people made him out to be. So he wasn't worried. He knew Jay would come around to it someday, learn to be happy with the way things turned out.

Because the way things turned out wasn't so bad, after all.

"What did he say to you?" Y/N's hand moved to rest on his, thumb touching his knuckles. She moved closer to him; Jake chuckled and placed his hand on her knee.

"Not important," he assured. "But can we just celebrate? This is the best day of my life!"

---

A Quiet Goodbye

tw:ANGSTTTTT, I love making people cry. it's my favorite hobby. enjoyyyy.

Imagine you and Sukuna were once best friends, long before his acting career took off and he became one of the most famous actors known for playing evil characters. He had other friends, plenty of them, but somehow he always managed to find his way back to you. It was a pattern—whenever he found a new girl, he would stop talking to you. You would pull away, not wanting to make the girls uncomfortable or give them the wrong idea. And each time, he would block you without a second thought.

You were always alone. You didn’t have many friends, and most people didn’t know much about you. But you had always loved him, harbored a quiet, aching crush that never seemed to go away. Once, you’d even gathered the courage to tell him, only for him to reject you outright, coldly saying he had never thought you were pretty or special in any way.

And then, one day, he introduced you to one of his friends, Naoya Zenin. At first, Naoya seemed nice, even charming, though he’d occasionally say things that made your stomach twist. You brushed it off, thinking he was just another one of those "red pill" guys—annoying but harmless. You went on two dates with him before things took a dark turn.

Without warning, his mood shifted. His anger flared over something you couldn't even understand, and he raised his hand against you. The hit came so fast, so hard, that for a moment you thought you might die. When you finally managed to escape, battered and broken, you went to Sukuna, desperate for some kind of support, some validation that what you went through was real.

But he looked at you, stunned. He couldn’t believe it—couldn't comprehend how someone could be so cruel, how anyone could leave you looking like this, with your skin bruised and spirit crushed.

That was when everything began to change between you and Sukuna. Suddenly, he started giving mixed signals, confusing hints that he might like you after all. You didn't see it—you couldn't. Not after he’d told you so bluntly that he would never be with someone like you, that you were ugly, unworthy of his affection.

But now, he was being… different. Kinder, gentler. He stopped talking to other girls, his focus shifting entirely to you. Yet you still couldn’t put two and two together until the day he confessed.

And so, the relationship began.

What Sukuna hadn’t told you was how much he actually valued your friendship. There had always been this inexplicable pull toward you, something he could never quite resist, even when he wanted to. His friends would often tease him for hanging out with you, mocking him for being seen with someone they deemed so ordinary. But he couldn’t help it—being near you brought him a strange sense of peace, a quiet he couldn’t find anywhere else.

He had never looked at you and thought, Yes, she’s beautiful, she’s hot. He’d never felt that kind of attraction to you, nothing like what he felt with other girls. But after seeing what Naoya had done to you—the bruises on your face, the purple marks on your neck—something in him broke. Guilt gnawed at his insides, sharp and unrelenting. It was his fault for introducing you to Naoya, knowing the kind of person he was, aware of his violent tendencies and twisted beliefs. He’d nearly killed Naoya that night in his fury, and yet, he felt no regret for what he’d done.

Seeing you like that, broken and bruised, Sukuna’s heart felt like it was in pieces. How could anyone hurt you like that? Why would they? His guilt, his confusion—they all merged into something he could hardly understand. And that’s when he thought, Maybe we should start dating. Maybe I can make it up to her somehow.

He didn’t mind putting on an act for you, pretending to be something he wasn’t, if it meant you’d be happy. Hell, he’d even marry you if it brought you some peace. His life would be calmer, more grounded, maybe even bearable. But love? No, he wasn’t sure if it was love—at least not the kind he was used to.

He did care for you, maybe even more than he wanted to admit. But it wasn’t the passionate, fiery love he’d experienced before. It was a tangled mess of guilt, pity, and confusion, something he couldn’t quite name or understand. And yet, here he was, telling himself that this was the right thing to do, that somehow he could make it work.

He didn't love you… or maybe he did. It just wasn’t the love he recognized, and in his mind, that meant it wasn't real love at all. But he was here, and you were here, and maybe, just maybe, that was enough for now.

The relationship lasted two months. In those two months, Sukuna managed to do the exact thing he had never wanted—to destroy the friendship that had somehow always managed to survive. It happened in the heat of a petty argument, one he had started out of jealousy, and before he knew it, he said the words he had sworn he’d never say.

He could almost hear your heart breaking in the silence that followed.

What he hated most about himself was that you just sat there and took it. He’d said something irreversible, something so damaging that it severed whatever fragile thread had been holding you two together. The cheap, promise ring he’d given you, a half-hearted attempt at making things feel real, suddenly seemed to mean more to you than your entire life did to him. You didn’t scream, you didn’t ask questions, you didn’t even breathe. You just… went quiet.

"I'm sorry, Sukuna. You will never see me again," you said, your voice calm, almost resigned. Those were the last words he heard from you. And true to your promise, he never saw or heard from you again.

So stupid of him, not to take any photos, not to have any memories. Nothing to look back on. Nothing at all. How could someone not even have a single picture of their own girlfriend?

He had nothing.

Until one day, years later, on this show. It was one of those lighthearted segments where they rummaged through celebrities' old phones or cameras, searching for funny or embarrassing moments from their past. It was supposed to be harmless fun—the worst they could find were pictures of his reckless teenage years, a drunken escapade or two.

But as they scrolled through the content, they stumbled upon a photo. His cocky, confident smile faltered instantly.

It was a picture of you and him, taken just when you two were dating. The photo was blurry, almost out of focus, and it looked like it had been taken in the winter. The angle was awkward, low—his little brother must have snapped it. Snowflakes clung to your hair, your cheeks flushed from the cold, and he could see himself standing close beside you, his arm draped around your shoulder. he was looking at you with this lovestruck look and he didn't even notice. The image screamed of nostalgia, of a time when things were simpler, before everything had fallen apart.

He felt his throat tighten, a sharp ache spreading through his chest. He was done with this show, done with the stupid games, done with all of it.

He just stared at the photograph, and it all came rushing back—the memories, the regrets, the questions that had haunted him for years. Why did he let that happen? Why did his feelings always have to be so complicated? He could feel himself unraveling, trying desperately to pull himself together as he fidgeted with the ring on his pinky—the cheap, matching promise ring. He still had it. The once bright color had faded, the metal tarnished and worn, but he had never taken it off.

“Can we skip this, if you don’t mind?” he asked, his voice calm but strained.

The host, sensing the shift in the air, nodded quickly. "Of course," they said, attempting to change the subject, to bring the mood back to something light and fun. But the damage was done. The audience sensed it too—a weight, a heaviness that hadn’t been there before.

After that, the clip went viral, plastered across every media outlet and social media platform. People watched and rewatched how his smile had vanished, how his demeanor had changed so suddenly. It sparked a frenzy of curiosity. Who was she? Who were you?

Rumors began to swirl. Speculation filled the tabloids and gossip columns, the internet buzzing with theories. Was it a lost love? A tragic breakup? Why had a simple photograph caused such a reaction from someone like him, someone known for his confidence and charm?

People began to dig.

They dug for the reason why a man who seemingly had it all felt so hollow. They looked for the woman who had left him feeling empty. They searched for the pieces of a story they didn’t even know was missing, hoping to find something—anything—that would explain why the man who had everything seemed to be missing the one thing he needed most.

The search grew relentless. Every day, new articles emerged, headlines screaming with intrigue: "Who is the Woman Behind Sukuna’s Silence?" and "The Mystery Girl That Broke the Unbreakable Heart."

Fans combed through his old interviews, scrutinizing every word, every expression, every hint of a hidden past. They poured over his social media, dissected every photo, every caption, looking for a clue—a name, a face, something that could connect the dots. The more they searched, the more the mystery deepened.

Some claimed to know you, throwing out names that didn't match. Others insisted you were just a figment of imagination, a constructed narrative to create drama. But those who had seen the clip, who had witnessed that fleeting moment of vulnerability, knew better. There was something real there—something raw and unspoken that lingered in his eyes.

Sukuna watched it all unfold from the sidelines, his irritation growing with every passing day. He’d wanted to move on, to bury the past in the deepest recesses of his mind, but now it was out there, and the world wouldn’t let it go.

His publicist and manager urged him to address it, to release a statement and quell the rumors. But what could he say? That he’d lost someone who meant more to him than he ever realized? That he’d driven you away with his own stubborn pride and fear? That he’d been living in the shadow of that mistake ever since?

And then, one day, there was a breakthrough.

A fan account managed to unearth an old college photo, a group shot with Sukuna laughing at the center, and there you were, standing quietly on the edge. It was grainy and low-quality, but it was enough. The caption beneath read: "Found her?"

Suddenly, everyone wanted to know your name, your story, why you had vanished from his life without a trace. The internet roared to life with theories and searches, names tossed around like confetti, your image dissected and magnified.

But despite the frenzy, there was nothing—no name, no background, no concrete information. Just those two blurry photos, and sad eyes.

True to your word, you had managed to remain a ghost, a presence without substance.

Then, one day, a sudden and stark revelation came to light. Your younger sister, who had been silent all these years, stepped forward with a written statement. The message was simple, direct, and deeply poignant:

“To whom it may concern,

The woman in the photos you have been searching for is my sister,Y/N. She passed away five years ago in a tragic accident—a drunk driver hit her car. Our family has chosen to grieve privately and respectfully, and we ask that you do the same. Please stop trying to find her. She is no longer here, and continuing to search will only add to the pain her loved ones have endured.

Thank you,

Y/S/N”

----

no part two. suffer hehe. crying is the new cardio