I Don’t Have A Lot Of Ambitions In Life But One Thing On My Bucket List Is To Marry A Cactus

I don’t have a lot of ambitions in life but one thing on my bucket list is to marry a cactus

like

I have no intention of getting for real married to anyone, and I really love the desert, so for the last couple years I’ve just been obsessed by the idea of going out into the Arizona desert and doing wedding photos with a saguaro

I’ve done my research on cactus law and cactus safety. I do not intend to touch the cactus. I merely wish to stand by the cactus or photoshop myself near the cactus in a way that heavily implies the cactus to be my spiky green gay husband, so I can hang it in a discreet area of my home and stare at wistfully whenever a guest or family member or whatever talks about settling down. Something I can keep in my wallet at work that I can whip out when people ask about the ring on my finger

Again, I have done the planning. There is a wedding dress in my closet. I have a Pinterest board for this. I have spoken with a potential photographer. I just need to get to Arizona