Why Do We Need Bisexual Awareness Week, You Ask? Because Anti-bisexual Discrimination, Stigma And Violence

When I was a freshman, my sister was in eighth grade. There was a boy in two of her periods who would ask her out every single day. (Third and seventh period, if I remember correctly.) All day during third and seventh she would repeatedly tell him no. She didn’t beat around the bush, she didn’t lie and say she was taken—she just said no. One day, in third period, after being rejected several times, he said; “I have a gun in my locker. If you don’t say yes, I am going to shoot you in seventh.” She refused again, but right after class she went to the principal’s office and told them what happened. They searched his locker and there was a gun in his backpack. When he was arrested, some of my sister’s friends (some female, even) told her that she was selfish for saying no so many times. That because of her, the entire school was in jeopardy. That it wouldn’t have killed her to say yes and give it a try, but because she was so mean to him, he lost his temper. Many of her male friends said it was “girls like her” that made all women seem like cockteases. Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up? Years later, when I was a senior, I was the only girl in my Criminal Justice class. The teacher, who used to be a sergeant in the police force, told us a story of something that had happened to a girl he knew when she was in high school. There was a guy who obviously had a crush on her and he made her uncomfortable. One day he finally gathered up the courage to ask her out, and she said no. The next day, during an assembly, he pulled a gun on her in front of everyone and threatened to kill her if she didn’t date him. He was tackled to the ground and the gun was taken from him. When my teacher asked the class who was at fault for the crime, I was the only person who said the boy was. All the other kids in the class (who were all boys) said that the girl was, that if she had said yes he would’ve never lost it and brought a gun and tried to kill her. When my teacher said that they were wrong and that this is what is wrong with society, that whenever a white boy commits a crime it’s someone else’s fault (music, television, video games, the victim) one boy raised his hand and literally said; “But if someone were to punch me and I punched him back, who is at fault for the fight? He is, not me. It’s self-defence. She started it, so anything that happens to her is in reaction to her actions .It’s simple cause and effect.” Even though he spent the rest of the calss period ripping into the boys and saying that you are always responsible for your own actions, and that women are allowed to say no and do not have to date them, they left class laughing about how idiotic he was and that he clearly had no idea how much it hurt to be rejected. So now we have a new school shooting, based solely on the fact some guy couldn’t get laid, and I see men, boys, applaudin him, or if they’re not applauding him, they’re laying blame on women as a whole. Just like my sister’s friends did. Just like the boys in my Criminal Justice class did. This isn’t something that’s rare. This isn’t something that never happens, or that a select group of men feel as if they are so entitled to women that saying no is not only the worst possible thing a woman can do, but is considered a form of “defence” when they commit a crime upon them (whether it be rape or murder-as-a-reaction-towards-rejection). Girls are being killed for saying no to prom invites. Girls are being killed for saying no to men. They are creating an atmosphere where women are too scared to say no, and the worst part is? They are doing it intentionally. They want society to be that way, they want women to say yes entirely out of fear. Even the boys and men who aren’t showing up to schools with guns are saying; “Well, you know, I wouldn’t do that, but you have to admit that if she had just said yes …” If you are a man and you defend this guys’ actions or try to find an excuse for it, or you denounce what really happened, or in any way lay blame on women, every girl you know, every woman you love, has just now thought to themselves that you might lose your shit and kill them someday for saying no. You have just lost their trust. And you know what? You deserve to lose it.

cry laugh feel love peace panic:  

“Wouldn’t have killed her to say yes? If a man is willing to shoot someone for saying no, what happens to the poor soul who says yes? What happens the first time they disagree? What happens the first time she says she doesn’t want to have sex? That she isn’t in the mood? When they break up?” -vampmissedith.tumblr.com

THIS IS MANDATORY READING!

(via feminist-space)

EVERYONE STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND READ THIS.

(via stfueverything)

If you reject a man and he becomes violent, it’s your own fault for not giving him a chance. If you date him and he becomes violent, it’s your own fault for choosing to date an asshole.

Either way, if you’re a woman, everything men do is your fault.

That’s literally what these douchebags are saying, but somehow male privilege doesn’t exist.

(via theconcealedweapon)

the commentary is always better than anything I can add. I will reblog this EVERY TIME I SEE IT.

(And guys - GOD DAMN IT GROW UP AND TAKE RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOURSELVES.)

Happy Star Wars Day!

Ex-Vanderbilt football player pushed teammates to rape unconscious woman

Brandon Vandenburg even passed out condoms to three fellow players before the woman he had been dating was raped, prosecutors said during his retrial

“Prosecutors say a former Vanderbilt football player encouraged his team-mates to rape an unconscious woman whom he had been dating.

During opening statements Monday in the retrial of Brandon Vandenburg, a prosecutor said the former player even passed out condoms to three team-mates before the woman was raped.

But one of Vandenburg’s attorneys blamed the three other players, saying that maybe Vandenburg could have stopped the June 2013 attack but he shouldn’t be held responsible for what others did to her.

The defense attorney said Vandenburg had been drinking all day, and the 19-year-old new recruit had asked players he didn’t know to help him carry the unconscious woman to his dorm. He said the others were on her as soon as they got her in the room.”

Horrific.

Finally figured out how to explain to people why saying “white people this” Or “men are that” isn’t racist or sexist (depending on what is being said)

In the English language, when discussing a group, it’s grammatically and functionally accurate to describe them by a truthful, dominant characteristic. If a teacher had a class of 30 kids and 20 of them are all talking at once and 10 of them are quietly reading, that teacher could accurately and truthfully say “these students are noisy today”. Does that explicitly mean every student is noisy? No. Does it mean as a group, a dominant feature of them is that they are noisy? Yes! This statement is accurate and while the quiet students may feel a way about being included in that assessment, they can’t deny that they, as a class, are noisy even if they themselves, individually, are not.

If they are upset in being included in the assessment they should not be mad at the teacher for speaking truthfully of the group. They should actively try and quiet their classmates.

Apply accordingly.

Kesha was being raped by her producer for 10 years straight and when she tried to push charges , her right to make music was taken away from her.now she is not only a victim of a disgusting crime but her career is at risk too, help kesha by joining the hashtag #FreedomForKesha, spread it and let us not just sit and watch , i don’t care if you like her music or not, she is still a human, no one deserves to be treated like this, everybody deserve love and respect .

Tomorrow, California will vote on a bill that would require crisis pregnancy centers to tell women the truth about their reproductive health options. One politician asked why a lawmaker cared so much about the bill, and her response is PERFECT.

mars: i’m wet

earth: i’m coming over