To The Parents Who Are Boycotting Finding Dory Over A FOUR-SECOND Lesbian Couple:

go….. off

they are married to each other like yas fuck my whole life up

S’mores pizza roll

“Black lives matter!!!” Screamed the pro choice, gun control advocate.

i guess you could call this

a moist owlet

at what point in history do you think americans stopped having british accents

too true.

The Hogwarts House Matrix

So this entire post arose from a conversation I was having with a friend of mine. As we are wont to do, we were discussing Harry Potter and sorting various acquaintances of ours into each of the four Houses when my friend confessed she wasn’t sure of the House to which she belonged. I said, “Gryffindor” without a second thought.

But my friend was unsure. Pottermore had sorted her into Ravenclaw, not to mention her sister and one of her best friends (both staunch Gryffindors) also told her she was Ravenclaw. She herself thought she might be Hufflepuff. However, as the Ravenclaw-est of Ravenclaws, I felt obligated to correct her. I tried explaining my theory of the different value axes and alignments over Gchat, but decided visual aids were probably going to be more helpful.

Hence the Hogwarts House Matrix.

I’ve divided these traits into primary alignments and supporting characteristics

To explain the alignments (in declining order of weight):

Governed by morality vs. ethics: Ruled by a sense of Right and Wrong vs. Correct and Incorrect.

Externally vs. internally validated: Derives a sense of satisfaction from achievements and praise vs. personal accomplishments.

Socially vs. individually orientated: Effects and is affected by social situations and peers vs. is unaffected by others’ opinions.

The supporting characteristics are as follows:

Reactive vs. proactive action: How one responds to external stimuli.

Subjective experience vs. objective reality: How one believes the world should be judged.

Driven by passion vs. guided by reason: The raison d’être for doing.

Really, in my opinion, you can generally figure out which House you’re in by answering two questions:

1. Are you governed by morality or ethics?

2. Do you derive satisfaction from internal or external validation?

Answering those two questions gives you a pretty good picture of what I’ve defined as the core value of each House:

Gryffindor = morality + external validation = Justice

Hufflepuff = morality + internal validation = Fairness

Slytherin = ethics + external validation = Success

Ravenclaw = ethics + internal validation = Knowledge

The characteristics of Bravery, Hard Work, Ambition, and Cleverness are external manifestations of the core values. You must be brave to seek justice, you must work hard to be fair, you must be ambitious to find success, and you be clever to gain knowledge.

(More charts and LONG explanations under the cut!)

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