If You Wanted To Break Someone, What Would You Do?

If you wanted to break someone, what would you do?

I would give him a family to fight for. I would give him a campfire and a host of companions to shout and sing with behind safe walls, brothers in arms, a banner to fly and a shield to hold high for his king as they march for the sunrise. I would give him a battle, a proving ground to spill his love as blood and sweat for the cause, for that family. I would give him a purpose. I would give him a destiny.

And then...I would take it away. A sword to cut the strings of his bond, his family flung to the far corners of a new, crueler world, leaving him alone again and stumbling without the expected solid ground of a shoulder to lean on. And I would watch him try to build it all up again. I'd watch him find first one, then two more, call them brothers over and over again until they half-heartedly say it back, push them together like opposite poles of a magnet as they repel and bounce back from each other and simply fail to understand. I'd watch as he figured out what they were missing, tried his hardest to become that king under whose banner he used to thrive to them.

I'd watch him fail. I'd watch him protest as they say they have no leadership, speaking as though he isn't even there, as though they were not leaning on the shields he made them with his own hands. I'd watch him finally fall silent as this flaming mess he tried to lump together and call a "family" threatens to kill each other. Tries to kill each other. Succeeds. I would place that man at the top of a hill, give him a little hope, give him the hint of a laugh of camaraderie and the chance that maybe this might work out after all...and then I would shatter him against the cliffside with the arrows of enemies in his back, anyone who could have stood behind him and shielded him from the blows long since run away for their own safety: each in seperate directions.

I would take it all away again, and it would hurt all the more with the final, long-fought acceptance that this time, it was never real to begin with.

And now, from who would the finishing blow come? When he had been cast out alone, the darkness almost a relief compared to the faces he tried to insist with closed eyes were those of the past and not the present, when his only comfort is blood and his only solace is throwing all caution to the wind and seeking glory one last time: glory at the door of a castle tower, glory at the end of a sword, glory at a second final death charge into the unknown...who would I send to be his final war horn? Who would do him the honour of a hero's fall?

There would be none.

No horn. No glory. No battle. He would be shot, once more in the back, while running away.

And there would be no king.

But there would be a single red scrap tied around a wrist and a faded scar running across a neck. He would be a ghost, all this man tried to be, all that he failed to be, all the comfort that he cried to and all the bravery and spirit he wished he had when his own haphazard militia denied him to his face and laughed at his pain. And the look in the eyes of the Red Once-King when he fires would be nothing but disappointment. And the man would not live long enough to turn and see it.

But he would see it when his eyes close. He would see it in the stars as his life drips into the grass, in the end even that too forsaking him. And when he next rose, ghostly and inconsequential, his spirit, the thing he tried so hard to inherit when his own had always burned so strong all by itself...will finally, finally be broken. He would stay in the forest, looking down at his body, lingering on. Waiting to move on until somebody happened by and laid the man he tried to be to rest.

No one would come.

No one ever did.

International Asexuality Day (April 6)

WE HAVE AN OFFICIAL DAY! April 6 will be the first ever International Asexuality Day! I’m so pleased to finally announce the birth of this amazing occasion. Myself and many other activists and ace organisations from across the world - have been working together on this for almost a year! I’m proud of what we have managed to accomplish. The day is designed to complement other ace events like Ace Week (the last week in October), but with a special emphasis on the international community, going beyond the English-speaking and Western sphere that has so far had the most coverage. The day can also serve as a focal point for giving asexuality some visibility in the first half of the year, useful for countries for which the end of October (Ace Week) is a difficult time of year for ace advocacy. To find out more information, please check out @iadofficial, the official website internationalasexualityday.org, or click the link in my bio! Let’s spread the word far and wide in preparation for April 6! 💜

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six-of-aros

3 years ago

well that really mumbos my jumbos

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six-of-aros

2 years ago

OK

I have just finished watching shadow and bone season two and I have many thoughts, but non of my friends have read the books, just watched the show so I can’t really talk about it with them so here we go. With that said, major shadow and bone spoilers below. Proceed with caution.

First of all, I accept that the books and the show are two different things, however, some of the book plots just made more sense and also I think it’s weird that the show just takes whatever part of the books they want which messes up the crows whole storyline.

Alina is alive and not fake dead?? How are they planning on spinning that? And also I was really looking forward to the white hair Alina look because I feel like that was going to be really cool but they just.... skipped that? Also why did she and Mal split up? That made no sense to me. I feel like Alina should have followed Mal, because he’s spent his whole life following her and now it’s her turn.

David??? My boy??? I’m not supposed to be sad about him now, I’m supposed to be sad later! That part really messed me up.

One part I loved was seeing Inej and Jesper and Nina all meet for the first time, it was lovely to see the start of that friendship. But Nina and Zoya had basically no reaction to seeing each other? They just kinda, cut to them being in the same room and had a few comments that hinted to a backstory but that was it?

I liked the Wylan and Jesper backstory better in the books, but I loved their interactions and story on the screen as well. I’m still mourning the loss of the “Just girls?” “Not just girls,” line, which sucks.

Speaking of missing lines, how about Genya’s iconic “I’m am not ruined, I am ruination,” ? I’m glad she stood up to the queen, but why was the king just dead?

I absolutely loved Tolya, anytime he brought up poetry I couldn’t help but smile. I’m glad he and Kaz had a poetry moment at the end.

Also, the whole story in the Shu Han was so cool! I loved seeing countries other than Ravka and Kerch, and anytime a saint popped up in the story I happily grabbed my copy of the lives of saints and felt more connected to the show.

I love Zoya in this season, I just love Zoya in general but it was easier to justify it to those who haven’t seen her full character with the way she acted during this season. I loved seeing her and Inej team up to take down the nichevo’ya.

Kaz and Inej make my heart hurt. That’s all .

In terms of Nikolai, I can honestly say I have no complaints. I know his story differed from how it was in the books, but it felt better somehow, having him present throughout the whole battle and having to discover and fight his demon on his own after everything. I don’t know how he’s going to do that with Alina around, but we’ll see how that goes.

Now for the kicker, the ending. I didn’t like the ending. The ending in the books is so much more poetical, despite Alina’s good intentions, she let her hunger for power get the better of her and she lost it all. She sacrificed everything for her country. Fought, bled, and killed for it, and it still took everything from her. In return, however, her power was given to others so they can continue on her legacy and relieve her of her great burden to destroy the fold. I probably didn’t explain it all that well, but I think it was much better in the books.

When I tell you I jumped out of my seat and paced around the room for a good five minutes because I saw the bee on Zoya’s shoulder, I mean I fully jumped out of my seat and paced. I might have screamed a little bit as well.

I’m exciting for the whole Jurda Parem storyline, although I’m not quite sure how they’re going to pull it off with the patchy mess they left of the crooked kingdom book after taking only what they want and scrapping the rest.

I’m glad they made it Siege and Rising rather than have a whole other season for the third book, I think that worked well and while it felt a little rushed at times it fit the story.

I loved the show, loved the books, and can’t wait to see what Netflix comes out with next.