Teenage Trelawney Swearing Up And Down That She Saw The Grim At The Edge Of The Forbidden Forest, Telling

🌟 RANKING REMUS LUPIN’S BEST "WEREWOLF CARD" EXCUSES 🌟

🥉 TIER 3: LOW EFFORT, BUT IT WORKS

5. "I'm experiencing a rare sensitivity to [current weather]."

Used For: Avoiding outdoor activities (changes reason based on conditions)

Effectiveness: 7/10 - Teachers assume it's a chronic condition and stop questioning

4. "My circadian rhythms require recalibration."

Used For: Skipping early morning classes

Effectiveness: 6/10 - McGonagall's eyebrow twitches but she allows it once per lunar cycle

🥈 TIER 2: MEDIUM-EFFORT LIES WITH A STRAIGHT FACE

3. "The moon’s in retrograde." (Not a real thing.)

Used For: Avoiding having to watch Quidditch practices (James buys it; Sirius cackles).

Effectiveness: 8/10 – James panics and asks if he needs chicken soup.

2. "I've developed an unfortunate reaction to [nearby object]." (gestures vaguely)

Used For: Leaving uncomfortable situations

Effectiveness: 8/10 - Works best in potions class where plausible accidents happen

🏆 TIER 1: ABSOLUTE MASTERPIECES OF DECEIT

1. "I'm presently engaged in critical lunar research."

Used For: Leaving any situation with an air of academic importance

Effectiveness: ∞/10 - Works best when said while holding a chocolate bar as if it's research equipment

0. "I’m legally required to lie down." (No such law exists.)

Used For: Everything. Everything.

Effectiveness: ∞/10 – Even McGonagall lets it slide once.

HONORABLE MENTION (THE ONE TIME IT FAILED):

"I can’t, I’m allergic to... this conversation."

Used On: Sirius, who immediately throws a pillow at him.

Verdict: "Try harder, Moony."

also, @astracoreiisblog made a community for blackinnon shippers, link here if you want to join.

trust the process but it’s you starting a new wip not knowing where it may take you or how it’s gonna end yet, somehow, every idea that comes to you (often in the middle of the night when you can’t sleep) falls right into place.

"the black family madness" the books call it. "the consequences of inbreeding" is what it actually is

sirius orion black,,,,,

i wonder whos hand that might be

Andromeda Black

The Noble and Most Ancient House of Black

Middle daughter of Cygnus Black III and Druella Black (née Rosier)

Burned off the family tree for marrying Muggle-born Edward Tonks.

marauders band au / blackinnon

mary mcdonald (supermodel): look, i’m not saying they didn’t share a dream of becoming the next big thing. i’m just saying they were strategic about it. sirius and marlene i mean. that concert we went to were we ended up on stage with them? all planned. they knew how to replicate authenticity, they had so much energy no one ever doubted them.

lily evans (photographer, james potter’s girlfriend): everywhere you looked, girls wanted to be her [marlene]. she had been in a few music videos at the time with other bands, before the boys skyrocketed. but after that concert, girls wanted to be her and boys wanted to… you know (makes obscene gesture with her hands).

mary: her disappearance act afterwards was pure genius. marauders sold out everywhere.

alternatively...

sirius: you know the man i told you about, the one i was in love with? marlene: yes. he died. sirius: he’s james. marlene: as in potter? no. he’s alive, sirius. that can’t be. sirius: marls… marlene: what are you talking about? sirius: you really don’t know, do you? marlene: what don’t i know? sirius: … marlene: sirius? sirius: i could help you. you could see again. you could live. you don’t have to go through with this marlene: you’re not making any sense, how can you help me do any of those things? you’re not god sirius: no. i’m definitely not god

(yes i saved james)

@skelteroid just saying:

Marlene: Because he was a vampire. You did that to him. Did you even ask permission?

Sirius: I was in love with him. I wanted him to be with me forever.

Marlene: And is that what you have planned for me?

Sirius: Of course not, Marlene. I'm not in love with you.

plot twist: he falls in love and turns her when she is about to die

wait imagine james being disgusted at the beginning by the mere thought of sirius and marlene being together (he keeps forgetting they aren't actually related) and that being the first time he and lily agree on something??? completely different reasons, BUT STILL, a win is a win.

The Remain Nameless sketches