Poor Michael. He Had Been On Trips For The Institute Before.

cranboo stims by. Holding their own tail and ruffling the fluffy part.

minecraft add baby endermen immediately

*Crawls in your bed*

*Creeps up behind you*

*Whispers in your ear*

The Magnus Archives is a podcast distributed by Rusty Quill and licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution Non-Commercial ShareAlike 4.0 International License.

things I’ve experienced working at the smp museum

Tommy innit (the kid who was exiled) put himself through recreations of traumatic experiences in some twisted version of exposure therapy

someone asked what the camarvan was and i had to explain that it was the catalyst for the creation of l’manburg and also a drug van

some kids tried to recreate the final control room betrayal for a school project but the kid playing eret (the traitor in the lmanburg war for independence and also my boss) stood on top of the chest for the infamous line and fucking fell off and broke their nose

someone tried to steal the camarvan

some kid doing a project on heredity said they had to pick one famous figure and for some goddamn reason they picked Wilbur soot so i had to explain the bastards fucked up family tree and i have never seen someone so confused (kid if you’re out there good luck on your project)

someone who knew Far too much about soot came and demanded we add an exhibit dedicated to his sand-eating habits

someone tried to defend dream and i just left bc what the Fuck

one day my boss said they were going to some cult banquet (i don’t handle the egg shit that’s my coworkers domain) and i got to spin in their office chair

heard later the cult banquet ended with multiple murders. not surprised.

got an assignment to hang up a “historically significant painting” but it was just a picture of first gentleman ranboo my beloved in a locket with his name??? but yknow his husband has nukes so I’m not gonna protest

some kid called the front desk at like midnight and asked if being straight was ok. first of all why the fuck are you calling a history museum second of all i was really confused and panicked and said “what’s a straight” and hung up so uh sorry kid

had to witness 3 kids try to recreate the lmanburg independence war in the form of interpretive dance. im all for creative schooling but what the fuck

"Despite their somewhat fearsome appearance, Gruppers (also known as 'Puppeels' for obvious reasons) are overtly friendly creatures capable of surviving both on land and in water. They come in a huge variety of colours and breeds, making them very popular pets on Torr."

(Eel puppies! That is all, thank you for coming :) )

hi william "didnt ask for this fate" wisp

[comes crawling out of the podcast covered in blood] its really good you should listen

S2 - S5

helen richardson

Reblog to put one of these in your mutuals’ pocket when they’re not looking