Slightlyanxiousvillain

This bonfire night, my friends, please remember your safety tips!

Check your bonfires for hedgehogs! They like to burrow into the wood pile and they can do this overnight.

Don't go back to an unexploded firework! Leave it! Self explanatory.

Ensure your gunpowder barrels are directly below the tory benches for maximum impact don't let even one of them escape kill them all in one swoop do it fucking do it burn it all to the ground and spit on the ashes

Be aware of the spitting fat from a roast if you're cooking over a fire! Wear an apron and gloves.

September

This could be my last report from Gaza by Tareq S. Hajjaj. Please read.

BORIS RESIGNING AS PRIME MINISTER!!

someone in the UK threw eggs at Charles and was arrested and has been banned from openly carrying eggs in public and has since been sent death threats but their statement on the matter was so fucking good

Okay, look. I really don’t care about your opinion of Captain Marvel’s quality of acting or plot or special effects.

I care about the little girl who I saw in the theater today, dressed in a Captain Marvel costume, transfixed by the woman on the big screen, who cheered when Carol unlocked her full powers, and ran around the theater during the credits, pretending to be fighting Kree.

That’s why the movie was made. That’s why.

I am so glad that we’ve managed to learn absolutely nothing from this whole experience, guys. Stay classy, England.

every single channel is airing news of the queen's death except E4 which refuses to interrupt reruns of the big bang theory