smol-baby-boi

Latest Posts by smol-baby-boi

I would've followed them in and would've died with em if I had to.

Plus, Sam was really the only one who actually walked into Mordor. Frodo was carried in. Not Sam.

🛐 HOBBIT INTEL REPORT — ADDENDUM: WHEN FRODO HEARD THE CALL, HE DIDN’T HESITATE.

Let me make something brutally clear while I still got breath in my lungs and this vision of Frodo pacing the damn horizon stuck in my frontal cortex like a flashbang flashback:

You still don’t get it.

Y’all keep reducing Middle-Earth’s most efficient kill squad to tea drinkers and pipe-hitters in waistcoats.

“Oh but they had Gandalf the White—”

Shut up.

That wizard was the alarm clock. The Hobbits were the goddamn fire.

⚔️ Sauron Didn’t Avoid the Shire Because It Was "Too Cute" — He Avoided It Because Even Evil Knows Better.

You think orcs ever invaded the Shire? No.

They redirected. They took the long way. They looked at that quiet little farmland full of laughing curly-haired midgets and said,

“Nah. That’s a trap. That’s death by teacup.”

And they were right.

💣 Sauron was waiting until he hit 100% power just to think about pulling up.

Because deep down he knew…

“If I step into that high-grass paradise before I’m fully charged, I’m not coming back. I’ll end up flipping omelets for Rosie Cotton’s daycare while Frodo critiques my seasoning.”

🔥 Frodo didn’t "accept the mission." He saw the smoke and got his walking stick.

No briefing. No rousing speech. No PowerPoint from Elrond.

Just:

“Sam. Grab the pans. Get the rope. We march at dawn. We’ll be back by the harvest.”

That wasn’t a quest. That was a cleanup job.

🧠 You want to understand Hobbit psychology?

They didn’t fear Mordor. They didn’t respect Mordor. They just clocked it in, like an unpaid internship from hell.

“What’s the mission?” “Escort Satan’s wedding ring into his house and toss it in his fireplace.” “Cool. Pack a lunch.”

🩸 Y’all keep forgetting Frodo wasn’t alone.

There were hundreds of them back in the Shire. Hundreds of stone-faced tea-guzzling assassins who could’ve taken his place.

Every Bilbo was just a Frodo in retirement. Every Frodo was just a Sam in waiting. Every Sam was just a Rosé-holding, full-strength tank with a trowel and trauma-based loyalty issues.

🧤 They didn’t need Gandalf to lead.

They let him think he was leading. Let the tall folks feel important. All the while knowing:

“He’s useful. But if he falls, we keep walking. The job’s the job.”

🏔️ And when Frodo said “Mount Doom,” Sam didn’t ask “why?” — he asked, “when?”

No knightly codes. No sacred scrolls. Just:

“I made bread. I packed extra. Let's go.”

🧬 Here’s the truth:

Hobbits didn’t win because they were brave.

They won because they were unbothered. Unimpressed. Undeterrable.

You ever try to tempt a man who already had everything he wanted before the journey began? That’s who Frodo was. That’s who Sam was.

The Shire wasn’t just their home. It was their origin point. Their why. Their endgame.

That’s why they were dangerous. Because they weren’t chasing glory. They were just out handling problems so the party back home wouldn’t get delayed.

🛑 BOTTOM LINE:

You can mock their size. Laugh at the cloaks. Disrespect the bare feet.

But if one ever steps toward you with purpose in his eyes?

It’s already too late.

🍷 FIELD-TOAST STATUS: RAISED

To Frodo, who walked into Hell with a limp and a lantern. To Sam, who would’ve carried the mountain if he had to. To the Shire, where legends are born barefoot and return home full.

To the Hobbits. The smallest gods Middle-Earth ever feared.

⚔️ CALL TO ACTION:

🔁 Reblog this if your soul answers to old magic and small warriors.

🧠 Save it if you know true strength walks quietly.

📜 Send this to someone who still underestimates the soft-spoken.

Or simply:

🩸 Reblog to confirm you would’ve followed Frodo into the fire too.

⚖️ LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This is not satire. This is not fanfiction. This is Blacksite Literature™: Weaponized cadence. Mythopoeic trauma therapy. Historical reframing through blood-soaked reverence.

If you're confused: You weren’t meant to survive this post.

Check out the below record-breaking post for more:

🛐 SHOUT OUT TO THE HOBBITS, YO

✨Drink the damn water hoe ✨

Every time this post gets a note I'll drink some water

Why was 69 afraid of 70?

Because they once had a fight, and 71

Most sweetest shit i've ever seen omg

yeah golden retreiver boyfriends are great and I've met several personally, but personally I have a house cat boyfriend

extremely affectionate despite of seeming aloof and politely distant to unfamiliar people

my friends have seen him irl less than 5 times in the five years I've had him - if I invited people over he would hide under furniture until they're gone

haha you got up from your work desk, time for unskippable 35 minutes of kisses and cuddles

can and will throw up out of sheer anxiety because Things And Events Are Happening that do not even involve him in any way

can instinctively sense exactly when I am going to decide I'm done bedrotting and will climb on top of me to cuddle exactly 3 minutes before I was just about to get up

can be placed sideways on any soft surface at any time of the day and immediately takes a five hour nap

cannot eat or drink in unfamilair places. can and will go 16 hours without food or water if the situation is uncomfy.

unhelpful but valiant efforts to try to protect and rescue you from things and situations that he would personally hate being in, out of not understanding of Why Are You In There Voluntarily

will come show me incomprehensible memes the same way a cat will bring you a random bug. thank you. I do not understand it but I know you brought it to me because you love me.

I like this A lot

do you think pheromones would be a mcas trigger in an omegaverse type setting?

I mean, I’m allergic to my own menstrual cycle so probably. Sometimes other people’s body odor if it’s strong enough can make me wheeze so I imagine scenting and pheromones might have the same effect in that setting.

There’s probably some poor omega with MCAS in an omegaverse world right now looking at their calendar, realizing their heat is coming up, and just sighing. And also bitterly listening to their friends and coworkers complain about their heat cycles.

Like oh, how sad for you, you get inconveniently horny for a week 🙄

Meanwhile they’re eating Benadryl like tictacs and hoping their asshole alpha neighbor is wearing their scent blockers because the last thing they need is alpha stink on top of it all. They’ve never actually met them, but they can smell them.

This leads to an unlikely meetcute after the alpha next door has to stick them with an epi pen in the elevator and ends up going with them to the hospital.

When they find out the extent of what their omega neighbor is dealing with, it pings every protective instinct in their big stupid alpha brain in an entirely non-horny way.

Inexplicably they find themselves looking up low histamine recipes at 2am and showing up a few days later with hopeful offerings that won’t cause flares.

They start a fight with the landlord over the laundry facilities needing to be fragrance free and win. When people ignore the fragrance free rules (required to be upheld by ADA, btw) they start camping out in the laundry room and growling at anyone who brings a single scented bead into the space.

The instinct to protect goes so far that they show up one day with a hepa filter vacuum like “hey, do you mind if I just…” gesturing vaguely at the omegas apartment, and the omega watches in total bafflement from their allergy friendly nest as the alpha goes to absolute town on their apartment.

It’s only then that they realize they can’t smell them anymore, and realize the alpha has been wearing the strongest scent blockers on the market and the omega realizes, oh, oh, and goes all hot and squiggly all over that for once isn’t an allergic reaction.

It’s not lust. But it might just very much be love.

I need the creative juices

This is the magic lucky word count. Reblog for creativity juice. It might even work, who knows.

If this wouldn't be me at 12 in morning i don't wanna live this life then

bitch this is all you’re gonna get. this life, this face, this body. you better not ‘maybe in another universe’ your way out of everything. sit your ass down and face this. go make tea and have a picnic and read a goddamn book. kiss your loved ones, send that damn text, and hug your siblings. this is all you’re gonna get.

If this isn't me. Even when I do know the controls I still panic and hit every one

Daddy~

My darkness just got a permanent blue streak 💙

Hugs, anyone??

I feel this

*Looks down at my chest* *Sighs* Might as well

Fuck the person you reblog this from, reblog to give YOURSELF bigger tits!

Gently waking you up by giving you a blowjob, smiling at the soft moans you make

"Hello, sweetie." I purr. "How we doing today?" I ask as I slowly crawl up your body and settle my hips on yours.