Я отравилась и лежу сегодня дома

“Молодая была уже не молода.”

— Двенадцать стульев. Ильф, Петров

В какой момент я превратилась из девочки-фанатки различных фантомов, сидящую на тамблере чтобы искать мемный контент, в депрессивную суку с рпп?

is this anything

It sounds bad to say, but starving is one of the most euphoric things. It’s like drugs without actually taking them. The feeling of the world spinning and knowing you’re closer to your goal is one of the best feelings.

physically i’m here but mentally i’m floating face down in a river

Опять объелась. Не так ужасно, как осенью, но много... Очень. (Прием усиленный вами ранее называется парцелляция, а кто-то (я) весь вечер учил литературу...)

Напряжена.

Послезавтра писать первый регион с олимпиадой. Я ничего не знаю. Потом ещё второй... Аааа

В школе всякий зачёты, мероприятия. Нервничаю. Не выдерживаю. Ем.

Ыааыаыаы если вы думали, что я перестала есть, то нет

Со мной твориться какая-то дичь.

Я оочень хочу есть сегодня

(Хотя изначально хотела отсидеть сегодня на голоде хах)

Съедено :

Завтрак : два яйца с сыром, пицца

Обед : кабачки, баклажаны, тушеная капуста

Ужин (понеслась душа в рай) :

4 куска пиццы (ААА)

Корзиночка с сливочным кремом и фруктами

Тортилья с сыром

Три конфеты

Шоколадное печенье

+ сейчас (ночной перекус ахах, хз) съела мандаринку и хочу орехов. Я блять буду весить 1000000000 кг ааа.

How to become pretty for summer✨👙👒

Your face:

Scrub your face every night.

Moistruize your skin.

Try to clean your face of acne.

Use face masks every day.

Put lip balm on in the morning and at night( and when you want to).

Brush your teeth 3 times a day and use lightning strips.

Use your mouthwash and FLOSS.

Pluck your eyebrows.

Your hair:

Wash it very well every 2-3 days.

Use your conditioner and leave it in for a couple of minutes and THEN wash it of.

After you get ouț of the shower use you hair masks or oils.

Leave it to dry natural and try not to heat dry it.

Try not to touch it too often because that makes it greasy.

Your hygene:

Wash your body every day.

Use nice smeling body washes and body lotions.

Don’t forget to scrub your body at least once a week.

Use nice smeling deodorant every time you change.

Wash your face 2 times a day.

Put on clean clothes. If you wore them for more then 3 times you should give them a wash.

Take care of your nails. Paint them a new pretty color every week.

Get rid of your body hair: wax or shave your legs, arms, armpits, down there, anywhere you feel the need to.

ALWAYS WEAR PARFUME✨

Your clothes/style:

Wear a new outfit everyday.

Try to make it look like you put a lot of efort into your outfits.

Add accesories: necklesses, bracelets, rings, ankle bracelets, earings, bags or hand wallets, etc.

Your shoes are very important. They ALWAYS have to match your outfit. If you don’t know what to wear a safe bet îs just plain black snickers.

If it’s cold make sure to put on a jacket with you or just tie it around your waist.

Always wear makeup even if it’s the tiniest bit. It makes a difference and trust me you need it.

Your personality:

Don’t always be on your phone.

Spend more time reading and in nature.

Play with your dogs and be an animal lover.

Listen to music that makes you feel good

Try to not talk so much and just listen more.

Choose your words and think before you talk.

Be delicate and soft when you speak.(But if anyone tries you be sure to not take any BS).

Don’t argue if possibile.

Keep your room clean and tidy.

Be organized. ✨

Be funny and charming. THAT’S BASICALLY IT.

Your eating habbits:

Never eat alone and try to eat as little as possibile around other people.

Drink zero calorie sodas instead of any other sodas.

Always chew gum or have mints on you. ( not just to burn calories but also for bad breath)

Cut your food into little pieces and play with it before eating it if you have to eat.

Chew every bite at least 25 times.

Drink water before eating and while you are eating so you get fuller quicker.

If the food has a lot of calories than make up an excuse to not eat it( try not to do this one very often or people WILL catch on).

Try and eat healthyer when you do eat so people will just think that is why you lost weight.

Drink a shit tone of water. ✨

Other things to note:

Never purge or use laxatives it îs really bad for you!!!

Follow a workout routine and learn how to jump rope really fast to impress people.

Make a workout playlist to make things easier.

LEARN HOW TO SWIN LOL.

Get your ears pierced for lords sake.

Keep a journal and write în it how you feel. Or maybe just doodle in it or idk whatever you want. ✨

Try and be helpfull to the people around you. Make your time on earth worth it. You know you are running low on time.

Learn a new languege to impress people and speak it to brag about it.

If you can die the ends of your hair blonde.✨

Stay safe loves this one is just for me,(sorry for the bad grammar xd) but if you feel like it helps you then that’s great too💜

I hate myself.

MY LIST OF THINGS TO DO INSTEAD OF EATING

Watch Instagram edits

Make lists of goals, things I’m thankful for, things I’m looking forward to about being skinny

Look at thinspo

Go online shopping and fill wish list with stuff to wear when skinny

Watch clothing hauls of skinny people

Drink water

Drink Diet Coke

Drink hot tea or coffee with Splenda

Watch weight loss YouTube videos 

Go to the gym 

Put on makeup

Curl or straighten hair

Write happy poetry

Look through Snapchat memories or camera roll

Write stories 

Masturbate

Go on tumblr and talk to people or diary

Text friends

Look at memes

Add to list of stuff to do instead of eat

Plan out meals and ways to hide/avoid food

Trace pictures on iPad 

Post on spam account 

Deep breathing

Paint nails

Shower

Brush teeth

Wash face

Pick out outfits

Try on jewelry and hats

Do homework

Reorganize 

Watch Netflix (Degrassi, American Horror Story, Riverdale, etc)

Sunbathe in backyard

Go on a walk

Internet games or phone games

Make music playlists

Dance

Sing

Clean room

Text and joke around with friends 

Write a song or poetry

Do laundry

Help mom clean 

Organize room 

Dust surfaces in room and clean mirrors

Take a nap

Drink sparkling water

Eat ice

Drink ice water

Read fan fiction

Write out what I like about myself and don’t like about myself etc.

Make random pros and cons lists

Make an appreciation letter or text for friends or parents or other family

Take a shit

Put on lotion

Shave

Make to-do lists

Stretch

Talk to parents or grandparents

Spin in circles

Chew sugar free gum

take a cold bath or shower

Weigh self

Look at self naked

Do a few simple exercises

Do a face mask

Put on lipstick

Smell perfume or a candle

Color in a coloring book

Make and use an exfoliator or lip scrub

Draw 

Paint

Get a mani pedi or foot massage or some other kind of spa treatment

Go on a run

Pop pimples or put on acne medication

Make a funny video

Make collages of favorite things

Buy a gift for someone like flowers 

Plan future birthdays 

Write out wish lists

Post something funny on Instagram 

Write a positive message