CHAPTER 14

Hermittober 2024

Day 2 Enchanting

Cub was anxious. He and Scar had escaped the confines of their home territory, but he still could  feel eyes watching him. He tried not to let Scar notice, as he had searched for the origin of the feeling and found nothing. He proceeded with his plan to gear up, as their small swords were no match for a player when it was just the two of them. 

“Cub?” Scar was tormenting a pig, poking it with his sword but not enough to kill it, just watching it squeal and run away.

Cub put down his scrap of leather and focused on his companion. “What is it, Scar?” 

“Do you think that there's some Eldritch beast out there, waiting for us to make a mistake, so that it can pounce on us and drag us back to the mansion where we belong?”

Cub was a little lost for words. Scar had some off-the-wall ideas, but was pretty perceptive. “I don't not think that,” he hedged.

“Will you tell them to leave us alone already?” Scar sounded glum. 

“If I could I would, my man. We're just going to have to wait and see for now.” Cub went back to his task, still on the lookout for any opportunity to evade the mysterious eyes on them.

/-/-/-/-/

It was dark out, and they were traveling through a swamp. Their natural glow kept the frogs from attempting to eat them, as they looked like the unappetizing fireflies native to the area.

Scar was speeding ahead as fast as his wings could take him when he entered a clearing.

There on a log in an unnatural purple light with fireflies surrounding it sat the Eldritch creature. It had a dark cloak, but its wings were visible stretching out behind. Many purple glowing eyes were open staring straight at him. It was fascinating, no, captivating! Scar was enchanted immediately. It was the prettiest, and scariest, thing he had seen his whole life. 

“It's you.” He said, breaking the strange silence.

“What do you want from us?” Cub already had his sword drawn, ready to protect them from the danger this spellbinding creature posed to them.

Scar joined him, hoping they wouldn't have to fight the otherworldly being. He was shaking with fear.

Grian in Double Life💞

hi! for those who dont keep up with tangos work on decked out, he has shown a bunch of artifacts today that each reference a hermit. they are very funny, acurate and look amazing, which is why i thought id compile them all in a post. added the names too incase u couldnt tell who some were referencing!!

warning, post gets very long after readmore

bdubs:

cubfan:

doc:

false:

etho:

gem:

grian:

hypno:

impulse:

iskall:

jevin:

joe hills:

keralis:

mumbo:

pearl:

tfc:

scar:

stress:

tango:

wels:

xb:

xisuma:

beef:

zedaph:

cleo:

I still can't believe he got away with this.

I love Scar being the most cringefail husband on earth

Think about it 🧠

I decided to start compiling speech patterns and such for the Hermits I watch the most, because being a fic writer is hard sometimes 😭 then I thought “why not share it here?”

so here’s my very rough analysis of my most viewed Hermits, this is just what I’ve managed to gather so please don’t call me out for what I’m missing

-

Scar

Rarely stutters in normal speech. Maybe pauses if he’s started a sentence and doesn’t know where it’s going, but he doesn’t tend to trail off unless something interrupts his train of thought

Stutters a LOT when he’s startled. Also makes ‘hoo!’ noises repeatedly before he finds his words

Lays on the charm THICK when he’s trying to convince someone over literally anything; compliments their looks, their handiwork, and then pitches his proposition in smooth segue. Not one to entertain haggling though (however he DOES do a ‘look if you’ll pay full price I’ll throw in xyz’ thing). King of upselling even the most mundane things.

His tone is cheerful most of the time, no matter what he’s saying. He’ll actually often say very disturbing things with a light voice (ex. when discussing how to retaliate ie “what should we do about him?” “we could kill him! :)”)

Builds and locations somehow are always capitalized in his voice?? Like he says them differently. I can’t really explain it (when he talks about Aqua Town or Scarland or The Big Dig)

Literally has an evil laugh when he thinks of a way to prank someone or mess with people

Hums in thought quite often, and uses “huh!” quite often when confused or finding out something new (Mostly with redstone)

His farewell is almost always “Byeeee, have a great time!” even if the conversation he left was not a pleasant one. I’m almost certain he does this in tense situations just to get under other people’s skin and really push how unbothered he is

Doesn’t tend to insult people, the farthest he’ll take it is backhanded compliments

That said he is not afraid to outright threaten (“I will murder them.”)

References media a lot, both for concepts for builds and in speech (ie his greeting “Well hello there!” is from Star Wars)

Number one exclamation is “Sweet Baby Jellie!”

(More under the cut!)

Grian

Cold opens, both in videos and conversations (rarely says “hello, how are you, etc” when encountering someone, but he does say farewells/‘thank you’s)

Likes to sneak up on people and scare them if he realizes they haven’t noticed him yet, usually does so by getting real close and then yelling (“HEY!”/“HI!”/“WHAT’S THAT?”)

Uses the name of whoever he’s talking to pretty often while speaking to them (“Well, Mumbo, you never know”/“So, Scar, as you can see here-“), same goes for often addressing his audience (“you all”/“you lot”/“you guys”)

Usually pretty focused (when he wants to be) but oftentimes takes a minute to laugh at things he notices in the natural environment (An accidental face in a build, a mob in a strange place, etc)

Takes the lead in a conversation if nobody is the clear leader, but generally only speaks when spoken to if someone else has risen to that spot

Clarifies instructions after something is explained, both to his viewers and to anyone he’s grouped up with (most often seen in the Life Series)

Uses “Pardon?!”/“Beg your pardon?!” most often when surprised or startled (he’s very British), also sometimes uses “Sorry??”

Things are way more funny to him when he’s tired

Deadpans a lot in conversation ie “why not do xyz?” “Well because we’ll horrifically die 😑“

This man is allergic to committing to the bit unless he’s the one that initiated it

Not one to sugarcoat (“how is it?” “well to be honest it’s miserable”)

Number one exclamation is “WHAT?!” (though he often uses “oh my GOODNESS” quite a bit)

Mumbo

The start of nearly every episode is almost a pitch, does the same when bringing up an idea to others (“I have this idea”/“I was thinking”/“I noticed” etc)

Often laughs a little at himself when he speaks

Also often brings up how inexperienced/unqualified he thinks he is with literally any task he’s doing

Gets very distracted with the smallest things

Uses similes a lot when trying to describe a concept (“I’m thinking a this-type thing”/“Something like a [xyz]”/“Imagine like a [thing]”)

His voice gets higher when he’s startled or panicking

A very vocal thinker, which makes sense because he’s a MC Youtuber, but he also just. Seems to think out loud regardless

Comments a lot on the feel of things (“Oh this feels menacing”/“This looks like it’d mess you up”/“This makes it feel very intimidating”), often with building

Extremely modest. However will celebrate when he does something right in redstone/building (“YES! Oh my days, that took forever”)

Once and a while will have a rare banter moment with people he’s comfortable with (ie teasing and making fun)

Related to above, he gets very giggly when he’s hanging out with people he’s familiar with (Grian and Scar most often, but also Iskall)

Number one exclamation is “What on earth?!”

Joel

Greets people most often with “How you doing [name]?”/“How are ya [name]?”

He’s very northern. He often leaves out words in his sentences bc that’s just the way his dialect is (“What you doin’?” vs “What are you doing?”)

Says his th’s like f’s (“somefing”/“nofing”/“finking”) ((Stress also does this))

His jokes/teasing are very deadpan (“I made you this extra thing, because you’re trash at this”)

Actually gives gifts of resources very often, and always leaves it with a little note and signs his name

His voice gets higher pitched when he’s defensive/being extremely cheeky but other than that his tone rarely changes

This man. Flirts so much. If any other person initiates even the slightest of flirty banter he takes that and dials it to eleven I cannot believe this is a straight married man sometimes

Joel commits to the bit 100% of the time (slightly related to above), unless of course it’s jokes about his height

Makes a point to compliment himself if he gets the chance (words most often used are “handsome” “strong” and “humble”, as well as comments about his muscles and physique)

Insults his enemies diminutively (“look at you down there, tiny idiot”/“You’re wrong and also weak”) ((seen most often in Empires SMP)

His most often used insult is “idiot”

When he’s flustered/frustrated he uses “bloody” a lot (ie “bloody heck” or “this bloody thing” (loves to toe the PG line), also uses “blooming” (“bloomin’ heck”)

Most often used exclamation is also “WHAT?!”

Bdubs

Opens videos very jovially, talks almost like a radio host

Breaks down his builds down to the block, spends a lot of time discussing his block pallet choices and giving tips while he builds

Uses the affirmation “sure enough” a lot, and often addresses himself as “Ol’ Bdubs”

Talks affectionately about other hermits often (“[name], the absolute sweetheart, left me some materials”, “[name], you angel!”)

Adding to above, “angel” or “sweet angel” seems to be his most often used affectionate terms

Switches on a dime, though, if he gets offended (which of course causes others to poke fun at him even more)

Calls mobs “stupid” a lot when they don’t do what he wants (but takes it back if he says it to one of his horses ex. “Come here, stupid—wonderful, I mean, beautiful”)

THIS MAN IS THE #1 HORSE ENJOYER. He gets a horse first thing every season and rides it everywhere, and they’re always a focal point of his theme or builds in some regard

Pauses whatever he’s doing to sleep as soon as it’s possible, and gets very antsy if he can’t do it for some reason (“One moment, time to shreep!”)

Related to above, EVERYONE messes with him if he’s trying to sleep in their presence ie breaking his bed over and over, and he gets increasingly more frustrated when it happens

Rarely is soft spoken or quiet, he projects his voice and uses a lot of emphasis in his tone

Either straight up screams (and peaks the mic 😭) if he’s startled or scared, or yells “oh my GOODNESS!!”

Number one exclamation is “HEY!”

scar is a disney princess that has birds flocking to sing with him everytime he sings. like snow white or something.

I gasped. I never left the desert.... 😭

this is basically desert duo, right?

Elves and Alchemists Part 2

Part 1

Grian had finally tracked down an elf. It had taken only 24 months of research, tracking down rumors and scouring news articles. While most elves lived in their hidden retreat, there was one that roamed the land like a vagabond.

Grian packed lightly, not wanting to be tied down by meager possessions. He was getting nervous, as this might be the only elf that he would ever get to speak to. He had to present himself at his best. So he donned his finest robes, and an alchemist hat.

When he first got to the small town the elf currently resided in, it only took a few questions of the town’s inhabitants to be pointed in the right direction. The elf had a small cottage on the edge of the forest, as he needed to commune with nature frequently.

There wasn't any fence, or border that Grian could see, but there was magic in the air as he approached. The elf was tending to some flowers, and as he worked he was talking to a small cat.

“Say, Jellie, we need to get another batch of Mrs. F’s cookies. We’ve almost run out. How about we…” they turned and noticed their uninvited guest. “Oh, hello there!”

Grian meanwhile was reliving a memory, almost a nightmare, from his childhood. “It’s you.”

They approached, with a smile on their face. “Yes, of course it's me. I'm always me. And you are?”

“No, no, no. I mean. It's you, from back then.” The elf that had saved Grian as a child, from a vicious explosion.The one that has inspired him to become an alchemist, the one he had been searching for all his life. Was right there in front of him. He had all the same scars as back then, and some new ones. They didn't detract from his handsome features. Grian wondered briefly if he got all those scars from helping people.

Grian almost fell over, but the elf had grabbed his arm to prevent him from hurting himself. “You don't look so good. Do you need to sit down? Come inside for a moment.”

Grian was ushered inside and pushed down onto a comfy couch. He stared as the elf began to prepare some tea, and cookies.

“Now these are the best cookies. I’ve been trying to get Mrs. F to give me the recipe for ages, but she refuses. You just take a bite, and all your worries just fade away. They are magical.”

“What's your name?” Grian needed to know. He had been searching his whole life, leading up to this meeting.

“Oh, well, my actual name is difficult for humans to pronounce, so I just go by Scar. It's much easier than Rᔑᒷ∷ᔑリ z||ꖎ ̇/╎ᓭ||ᓭ.”

While the name sounded beautiful, it slipped through Grian’s brain and right out again.

“Do you remember me?” Grian grabbed Scar’s hand and pulled him down on the couch next to him.

“Woah there. I have a thousand years or memories I need to search through. Give me a minute.” Scar looked closely at Grian’s face. “Hm, I'm not sure. Humans change so quickly. Sometimes it's hard for me to remember, or I get the grandson confused for the grandfather.“

Scar was staring intently. Having his beautiful face so close to Grian’s own made him flush a bit under the scrutiny.