I Can’t Express How Important It Is To Have Hobbies In Your 20s. To Have Something You Enjoy And Look

something i think a lot of able bodied people dont understand is that being chronically ill affects your emotions. constantly being exhausted and feeling bad is going to make you sad or depressed or angry or jealous. constantly being in pain is going to affect your mental health. never feeling "good" is obviously going to affect the way you act.

Plot twist for all the "I'd kill myself if I was as disabled as you" crowd:

If you were in my position, you wouldn't BE spending all day in bed. You'd be abusing your body by forcing yourself to work a job and just "tough it out" when you make yourself sicker. If you had to put up with the level of medical abuse that I do, you'd just swear off the medical field entirely and claim "big pharma" is good for nothing and only wants your money and to keep people sick.

No one actually tells you to stay in bed and rest when you're disabled. Overcoming internalized ableism comes in many phases, one of which is making the radical decision to stay in bed and rest if you're disabled.

You wouldn't kill yourself if you were me, because with your attitude, you could never BE me, and that's really fucking pathetic.

Ada Limón, “To Be Made Whole”, On Being with Krista Tippett

have a meme from grad school that i don't remember making

LEONARDO DA VINCI 1452 – 1519

The drapery of the Madonna’s arm» Red and black chalks, wash, white heightening, pen and ink, on orange-red prepared paper c.1510 – 15

being disabled will really have you thinking/saying things like “yeah i’m not really THAT disabled. as long as i take my meds twice a day (and as needed), eat and drink exactly the right things, keep the perfect balance of being active and resting, the weather is stable, and nothing unexpected happens AT ALL… i’m totally FINE! i probably should not even call myself disabled at this point because i’m doing so well!”

if you don’t want to call yourself disabled, that’s fine and it is your choice! but if you’re only “fine” or “doing really well” when a bunch of different variables are all lined up perfectly, then maybe you are not fine actually. just a thought!

(Long post, sorry y'all)

A little more than two years ago now, my grandmother passed away. She and my grandpa had moved down to my home town a few years before so we could take care of them. I brought them groceries once a week, helped them write checks, fixed tvs, and found lost things. I was really close with my grandma.

In addition to her hilarious personality and dry wit, one of my favorite things about her was that she was a painter and a crafter like me! She used to crochet, and I took her to the craft store a couple of times so she could get more yarn and books on crochet. But her arthritis and the shaking in her hands kept getting worse, so she eventually had to stop.

She kept her most recent project, a granny square blanket, safely packed away in a plastic bin. She told all of us she was going to finish it one day.

Her hands never got better, and when she got sick, and we found out it was cancer, she rapidly deteriorated.

After she passed, I went to work helping my mom clean out my grandparents apartment so we could move my grandpa in with her. In our frantic cleaning, I found that bin again:

DOZENS of granny squares, dozens of half used skeins. I asked my mom what she wanted me to do with it, and she said she didn't care. I set it aside and later took it home.

Maybe a month later, that tumblr post about the Loose Ends Project was going around. It felt like a sign--I was never going to learn to crochet in order to finish my grandmother's blanket. But they might be able to help!

So I filled out the interest form. They got back to me SUPER quick. And maybe 2 weeks later, I was paired with volunteer in my state (only 2 hours away!) and the box of yarn, granny squares, and my grandmother's crochet hook were in the mail. That was at the end of January this year.

Over the next couple of months, my "finisher" emailed me regular updates on her progress, and asked me questions on my preferences for how she constructed the final blanket.

At the end of August, the blanket was done!

I had always intended the blanket to be a gift for my mother. So I cleaned it up, put it in the only bag I had big enough to fit it, and drove to my mom's. I gave the blanket to her and she was gobsmacked. I explained to her all about Loose Ends, and how someone volunteered to finish the piece for us. She was speechless. (I was quite pleased with this, because I am not the best at giving gifts, so this was a pretty exciting reaction!)

She said that it was the most thoughtful gift she had ever been given. She said "your grandma would love this". To which I replied, "yeah, I know she really wanted to finish it a couple of years ago". But that was when my mom dropped the bomb of a century on me--she told me that my grandma had started making those granny squares OVER 30 YEARS AGO. She had started the blanket when my grandpa was staying in the hospital, but that was back when my mom was younger than I am now! My grandma had packed them all away, planning on finishing it, when my grandpa was sent home from the hospital. Then it went from house to house, from condo in Chicago to their apartment in my hometown. All that time and my grandma had wanted to finish it, but couldn't. First because she was busy, then because she forgot how to do it, then because of her arthritis, and then because of the cancer. My mom said she had given up on expecting my grandma to finish it. 

She said I brought a piece of her childhood with her mom out of the past.

And really, all of this is to say, if you have seen or heard about the Loose Ends Project and have an uncompleted project or piece from a loved one who has passed away--these are your people. They were so kind and treated my project with such care. That box probably would have been found by my own grandkids one day if I hadn't heard about Loose Ends.

Five stars, absolutely worth it!

(From what I understand, you can sign up to volunteer too! If you have time to share, it might be worth checking out!)

WAKE UP BABES, NEW ZINE JUST DROPPED and it's FREE !!!

This one is all about how I boycott amazon. It includes alternatives for shopping, groceries, reading, & other media.

You can download it on my ko-fi:

Ko-fi

Support Charlie T tea on Ko-fi! ❤️. ko-fi.com/charliettea

Support Charlie T tea On Ko-fi. Ko-fi lets you support the people and causes you love with small donations

AHH!! Quickly!! The artefacts have escaped the museum!! 😘😘 This video is adorable :D

These ladies are wearing Tang Dynasty hanfu, the famous "golden age" of Chinese history. Artefacts show that aesthetics during this dynasty favored fuller shaped women, if you've ever seen the figures from the museums these ladies look like exact replicas :D

Video src: 包意凡 【博物馆闭馆时间到，我俩要粗去玩！】 https://www.bilibili.com/video/BV1iJ4m1K7Mq/