Learn Don't Fake It!!!

Learn don't fake it!!!

The secret about D/s is

There is no secret. Friends. Really. There’s not. There’s no secret to making kinky partnerships work or to communicating with a partner or any other aspect of being two people in a consenting arrangement.

At least, there’s no secret that you don’t already know.

D/s is a relationship. That’s it. It’s a relationship, just like dating, just like living together, just like marriage. And the secret to managing relationships?

99% of the time, the key to managing a relationship is communication. TALK TO YOUR PARTNER. Tell your partner what you want, what you don’t want, what feels good and for God’s sake what doesn’t feel good. 

I browse a lot of the BDSM advice blogs & groups, and I swear to God, almost every question could be answered with TALK TO YOUR PARTNER.

(The other 1% can be answered with LISTEN TO YOUR INSTINCTS, but that’s another post entirely.)

There is very little in any healthy D/s relationship that can’t be handled with the application of a little patience and a lot of communication. And seriously, if you’re finding that the communication isn’t working, there are counselors and therapists out there who specialize in “non-traditional” relationships. Therapy is probably one of the best things I’ve ever done for myself, and as a tool for the maintenance of self and relationships, there’s not much else I’d recommend more highly. 

So yeah. That’s it. There’s the Big Secret everyone always wants to know.