He Has Changed Her…

He has changed her…

Wolves and Bears oh my..

So far into the thinks and feels today..

Thinking about Wolves and Bears and life and. Change ..

In fantasy land … Tumblr land ..and for sure in my fantasy tinged writings.. Wolves and Bears are big symbols for men. Often for dominant men… which is kinda my thing😊.. So I do spend some time thinking about this..

And lately in this huge life change..thinking about it more. Leaving a long comfortable marriage for the unknown.. I’m wondering about my next loves ..What I’ve learned ..what I know.. and what I will choose next..

There’s not a shortage of applicants already.. the universe is throwing them at me like stars.

Which surprises me.. as a woman of a certain age… I was not prepared to be such a catch. 😂

What I think is the reason for THAT..is that MEN of a certain age who are rethinking life .. are also thinking about what they have /have left ..vs what they want ..and are also like us ladies.. feeling the pull back to the wild at midlife.

And I am the wild . I look like a huggy little kindergarten teacher.. But there is dark to me. I am a ball of uncontrolled emotion.. pure love..pure fury..pure peace..pure joy.. Nurturing to a pathological degree..with a shadow and a light that is edible..

I’m a wreck of a girl .but the ride is fun and the love is real.. Maybe that’s what they sense 😂 when it’s time to miss what came before…

In any case.. in this really sad moment where I’ve lost a long marriage and a lifetime friendship at the same time…

Love has been flying in to fill the spaces.

First and foremost from the women in my life.. near and far..real life and Tumblr life…I am super blessed to know so many amazing women and further blessed that they love me back!!❤️❤️Tribe.

But also some man love..

When it turned out that I was in fact.. free… The beasts started sniffing around.. And I mean that in the sweetest way.. as it is in the wild .. they felt me and they headed this way..

And while I’m still reeling and finding my feet and not really ready for it yet..And certainly NOT throwing my legs and my heart open ..

I’m thinking…Thinking about the men I love .. have loved..and might love..

Thinking about Wolves and Bears..

Normally I like Wolves. I’m all about the drama and the danger ..The wild internal connection. I need that stir that pull back that astral tug.And while Wolves at fiercely loyal protectors .. they do lean to the dramatic and the dark and the shadow and the creative… Creatures of the moon..like me..and that is intoxicating …

However the bad side of wolves is all that dark and sexy and shadow…can turn on a dime.. And they will rip your heart out if they feel they need to do so .Believe me that I have felt those teeth.

However if the wolf adores you you’ve never felt so loved and desires in your life😊

Balance . Nature demands it…

Bears on the other hand while also wildly protective ..live in the sun. They are all snuggle and sweet and funny and make the world happy and bright..There is of course the dark side of bears .. Wild creatures after all .. And don’t write off the sexy either … just cause they don’t put it all out there like the wolves.. doesn’t mean their giant sexy selves can’t do some ravishing…

My life used to be all Wolf..And even now there is a new Wolf in my world who has been my touchstone through some of the sharpest most cutting moments in this whole sad chapter. Distracting me making me laugh and listening with his sexy wolf ears..Giving me music and fantasy to mute the heartbreak..And even though this Wolf isn’t ever going to be fully mine ..we are for sure going to hold hands and carry a piece of each other the rest of this life…Cause I know Angels when I see them..

But there are also quite a few bears in my life at the moment. One in particular who has held me up silently asking for nothing in return.. Just being the noble soul he is .. standing with me offering his comfort..A new one jumping in with his own little darkness and one stuck in his own maze but offering comfort every day..all coming in ..offering to fill the raw hurting spaces.For now being sweet friends .. giving me comfort and peace an some much needed adoration and admiration. And I can only hope I’m adding to their lives as well cause they are helping to save mine:)And the adoration and admiration is so mutual..

The universe takes away and sometimes rips away..

But offers that bandaid as well..

So just musings on it today.. Wondering where life is taking me now..Scared but excited..And remembering how things change with the seasons..and life is just always and never predictable:)

How our habits and our patterns change and evolve as we need them too …and how everyone we need is sent back to us at the exact right moment♥️

And how as always .. I will make my way through and over…