"not A Person On This Planet Who Can Do This Job Like You." I Mean True I Haven't Seen Anyone Else Tell

if i’m ever brutally murdered and everyone feels like they need to do something productive in my memory, all i want is for you to pass legislation banning LED headlights in my name. regardless of how irrelevant it is to my murder. it’s relevant to my heart.

“It’s just a TV show” maybe to you. I absorbed it into my soul though.

ngl the baron got the best ending in wwdits

he went from the angriest man in the world miserable because he couldnt have a family to a loving husband, father, and dog owner while still retaining the respect of his peers (through violence)

The rest of B-Shift hearing about Ravi committing domestic terrorism for the sake of Chimney even after Bobby offered to take the fall and just thinking, “Oh God, they finally got him. They roped Ravi into their sick little co-dependent work family. We’re never getting him back.”

Nothing is perfect except The Lego Batman movie that film is a masterpiece

“You really did that for me?”

“Fyp” we don’t do that here. I mean, Tumblr the app and website tries, but we don't do that here.

“But then how will anyone see it?” peer review.

“How do you get engagement?” by talking and engaging with other people. Or making a devastating typo. Either way.

“But—” Listen, you’re not doing solo stand up anymore. This is a group improv class being held in a SAW dungeon. Good luck.

this really should not be as attractive as it is