"women didn't invent anything"
It is incredibly important to train yourself to have your first instinct be to look something up.
Don't know how to do something? Look it up.
See a piece of news mentioned on social media? Look it up.
Not sure if something is making it to the broader public consciousness, either because you don't see it much or you see people saying nobody is talking about it? Look it up.
Don't know what a word means? Look it up.
It will make you a better reader and a better writer, but it will also just make you more equipped to cope with the world.
So often, I see people talking about something as though it is the first time anyone has ever acknowledged it, when I've been reading reports about it on the news for months or years. Or I see someone totally misinterpreting an argument because they clearly don't know what a word means--or, on the other hand, making an argument that doesn't make sense because they aren't using words the right way.
Look things up! Check the news (the real news, not random people on social media)! Do your research! You (and the world) will be better for it.
Reactions to… getting betrayed
Reactions to… getting kissed
Reactions to… the other being jealous
Reactions to… seeing someone again after a long time
Reactions to… being stuck somewhere
Reactions to… a love confession
Reactions to... being punched
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bingewatching will never come close to bingereading. there is nothing like blocking out the entire Earth for ten hours to read a book in one sitting no food no water no shower no bra and emerging at the end with no idea what time it is or where you are, a dried-up prune that's sensitive to light and loud noises because you've been in your room in the dark reading by the glow of a single LED. it's like coming back after a three-month vacation in another dimension and now you have to go downstairs and make dinner. absolutely transcendental
How do you become a writer? Answer: you write.
It’s amazing how much resentment and disgust and evasion this answer can arouse. Even among writers, believe me. It is one of those Horrible Truths one would rather not face.
The most frequent evasive tactic is for the would-be writer to say, But before I have anything to say, I must get experience.
Well, yes; if you want to be a journalist. But I don’t know anything about journalism, I’m talking about fiction. And of course fiction is made out of experience, your whole life from infancy on, everything you’ve thought and done and seen and read and dreamed. But experience isn’t something you go and get—it’s a gift, and the only prerequisite for receiving it is that you be open to it. A closed soul can have the most immense adventures, go through a civil war or a trip to the moon, and have nothing to show for all that “experience”; whereas the open soul can do wonders with nothing. I invite you to meditate on a pair of sisters. Emily and Charlotte. Their life experience was an isolated vicarage in a small, dreary English village, a couple of bad years at a girls’ school, another year or two in Brussels, which is surely the dullest city in all Europe, and a lot of housework. Out of that seething mass of raw, vital, brutal, gutsy Experience they made two of the greatest novels ever written: Jane Eyre and Wuthering Heights.
Now, of course they were writing from experience; writing about what they knew, which is what people always tell you to do; but what was their experience? What was it they knew? Very little about “life.” They knew their own souls, they knew their own minds and hearts; and it was not a knowledge lightly or easily gained. From the time they were seven or eight years old, they wrote, and thought, and learned the landscape of their own being, and how to describe it. They wrote with the imagination, which is the tool of the farmer, the plow you plow your own soul with. They wrote from inside, from as deep inside as they could get by using all their strength and courage and intelligence. And that is where books come from. The novelist writes from inside.
I’m rather sensitive on this point, because I write science fiction, or fantasy, or about imaginary countries, mostly—stuff that, by definition, involves times, places, events that I could not possibly experience in my own life. So when I was young and would submit one of these things about space voyages to Orion or dragons or something, I was told, at extremely regular intervals, “You should try to write about things you know about.” And I would say, But I do; I know about Orion, and dragons, and imaginary countries. Who do you think knows about my own imaginary countries, if I don’t?
But they didn’t listen, because they don’t understand, they have it all backward. They think an artist is like a roll of photographic film, you expose it and develop it and there is a reproduction of Reality in two dimensions. But that’s all wrong, and if any artist tells you, “I am a camera,” or “I am a mirror,” distrust them instantly, they’re fooling you, pulling a fast one. Artists are people who are not at all interested in the facts—only in the truth. You get the facts from outside. The truth you get from inside.
OK, how do you go about getting at that truth? You want to tell the truth. You want to be a writer. So what do you do?
You write.
Honestly, why do people ask that question? Does anybody ever come up to a musician and say, Tell me, tell me—how should I become a tuba player? No! It’s too obvious. If you want to be a tuba player you get a tuba, and some tuba music. And you ask the neighbors to move away or put cotton in their ears. And probably you get a tuba teacher, because there are quite a lot of objective rules and techniques both to written music and to tuba performance. And then you sit down and you play the tuba, every day, every week, every month, year after year, until you are good at playing the tuba; until you can—if you desire—play the truth on the tuba.
It is exactly the same with writing. You sit down and you do it, and you do it, and you do it, until you have learned how to do it.
Of course, there are differences. Writing makes no noise, except groans, and it can be done anywhere, and it is done alone.
It is the experience or premonition of that loneliness, perhaps, that drives a lot of young writers into this search for rules. I envy musicians very much, myself. They get to play together, their art is largely communal; and there are rules to it, an accepted body of axioms and techniques, which can be put into words or at least demonstrated, and so taught. Writing cannot be shared, nor can it be taught as a technique, except on the most superficial level. All a writer’s real learning is done alone, thinking, reading other people’s books, or writing—practicing. A really good writing class or workshop can give us some shadow of what musicians have all the time—the excitement of a group working together, so that each member outdoes himself—but what comes out of that is not a collaboration, a joint accomplishment, like a string quartet or a symphony performance, but a lot of totally separate, isolated works, expressions of individual souls. And therefore there are no rules, except those each individual makes up.
I know. There are lots of rules. You find them in the books about The Craft of Fiction and The Art of the Short Story and so on. I know some of them. One of them says: Never begin a story with dialogue! People won’t read it; here is somebody talking and they don’t know who and so they don’t care, so—Never begin a story with dialogue.
Well, there is a story I know, it begins like this:
“Eh bien, mon prince! so Genoa and Lucca are now no more than private estates of the Bonaparte family!”
It’s not only a dialogue opening, the first four words are in French, and it’s not even a French novel. What a horrible way to begin a book! The title of the book is War and Peace.
There’s another Rule I know: introduce all the main characters early in the book. That sounds perfectly sensible, mostly I suppose it is sensible, but it’s not a rule, or if it is somebody forgot to tell it to Charles Dickens. He didn’t get Sam Weller into The Pickwick Papers for ten chapters—that’s five months, since the book was coming out as a serial in installments.
Now, you can say, All right, so Tolstoy can break the rules, so Dickens can break the rules, but they’re geniuses; rules are made for geniuses to break, but for ordinary, talented, not-yet-professional writers to follow, as guidelines.
And I would accept this, but very very grudgingly, and with so many reservations that it amounts in the end to nonacceptance. Put it this way: if you feel you need rules and want rules, and you find a rule that appeals to you, or that works for you, then follow it. Use it. But if it doesn’t appeal to you or doesn’t work for you, then ignore it; in fact, if you want to and are able to, kick it in the teeth, break it, fold staple mutilate and destroy it.
See, the thing is, as a writer you are free. You are about the freest person that ever was. Your freedom is what you have bought with your solitude, your loneliness. You are in the country where you make up the rules, the laws. You are both dictator and obedient populace. It is a country nobody has ever explored before. It is up to you to make the maps, to build the cities. Nobody else in the world can do it, or ever could do it, or ever will be able to do it again.
Excerpted from THE LANGUAGE OF THE NIGHT by Ursula K. Le Guin. Copyright © 1989 by Ursula K. Le Guin.
I recommend Le Guin's book about writing, Steering the Craft:
"it's all in the eyes i was once told"
catching the stare of someone across a crowded room
subtle furrowing of eyebrows beyond a blank facade
coldness easing into warmth
a fond mothering gaze
corner of the lip nudged upward
forced glower/glare as they break underneath
batting their lashes, playful
a boisterous laugh
intrigue piercing the stoic
proud smugness at the other's success
lingering glances
a childish joy bursting through
pupils dilate
eyelids shut in a look of peace, calm and trust
"there was once a time when they were mine"
terseness
features fold into a scowl
an urgent flinching back
coldness returns (as though the warmth had never come)
lips part then purse
invasion of shock
slow stare at the floor
the ripple effect of a swallow
frustrated breath/sigh
bitter laugh in reminiscence
dread tearing through the seams of their composure
"darkness"
mean smirk- teeth bared grimace- scowl
dismissive gaze
gaze of contempt/impatience
threat lowering the voice
sardonic goading grins verging on manic
rolling one's eyes
flicker of irritation in the eyes
stares stubbornly ahead despite distraction
gritted teeth, clenched jaw
fierce biting remarks
even measured complexions betraying no thought
strangling oneself back from violence
utter apathy
murderous silence hanging in the stare
snobbish laughter
smiling at another's downfall
I once saw someone say
There are two kinds of writers
One's an architect
And the other's a gardener
The architect plans each careful window
While the gardener simply plants a seed and watches it grow
"Which one am I?" I wondered
Then I thought, I planned a house, but I plant seeds in the foundation
The vines grow
Through the windows
And the foundations are riddled with roots
I had a plan but lo behold
The tree that grows through the roof
Rain: cleansing, sadness, renewal, obstacles
Sunshine: happiness, hope, clarity, energy
Storms: conflict, turmoil, dramatic change
Snow: purity, stillness, coldness, isolation
Fog: confusion, mystery, uncertainty
Wind: change, freedom, unrest, communication
Eagle: freedom, vision, strength, courage
Lion: bravery, power, leadership, pride
Dove: peace, love, innocence, spirituality
Wolf: loyalty, cunning, survival, community
Snake: transformation, danger, temptation, wisdom
Butterfly: transformation, beauty, impermanence
Rose: love, beauty, passion, secrecy
Oak Tree: strength, endurance, wisdom
Willow Tree: sadness, flexibility, resilience
Lotus Flower: purity, enlightenment, rebirth
Ivy: friendship, fidelity, eternity
Cactus: endurance, protection, warmth
Mirror: self-reflection, truth, illusion
Key: opportunity, secrets, freedom
Bridge: connection, transition, overcoming obstacles
Candle: hope, spirituality, life, guidance
Clock: time, mortality, urgency
Mask: disguise, deception, concealment
One: beginnings, unity, individuality
Two: partnership, balance, duality
Three: creativity, growth, completeness
Four: stability, order, foundation
Five: change, adventure, unpredictability
Seven: mystery, spirituality, luck
Spring: renewal, birth, growth, hope
Summer: vitality, abundance, joy, freedom
Autumn: change, maturity, decline, reflection
Winter: death, stillness, introspection, endurance
Light: knowledge, purity, safety, enlightenment
Darkness: ignorance, evil, mystery, fear
Shadow: the unconscious, secrets, mystery
Twilight: ambiguity, transition, mystery
Fire: passion, destruction, energy, transformation
Water: emotion, intuition, life, change
Earth: stability, grounding, fertility, growth
Air: intellect, communication, freedom, change
A “Mary Sue” is that charact. Perfect; bends the story to their will, faces no meaningful struggles, and often feels too idealized to be relatable. The thing I like most is when an author makes a character, a situation, a scene, realistic. I like heavy realism in my books. I know we read to escape reality, but there's a way to do that.
1. Give Them Flaws Not the checklist kind. Not "clumsy" or "bad at math" unless that genuinely bleeds into who they are and how they move through the world. I mean the kind of flaws that crack open relationships. That drive certain choices. That make you want to shake them. Flaws should cost them something. Otherwise, they’re decoration.
2. Let Them Fail Failure is the most human thing. It brings shame, doubt, growth, all the stuff that makes a character feel alive. Let them try, and stumble. Let them mess up something important. Let them hurt people and not know how to fix it. Failure opens narrative doors that perfection just slams shut.
3. Don’t Make Everyone Love Them If every side character is just there to admire your MC, you’re not writing a story—you’re writing propaganda. Let people mistrust them. Let some hate them. Not everyone sees the same version of a person. Maybe someone sees behind their act, maybe someone’s immune to their charm. That gives perspective.
4. Make Their Skills Believable A skill with no backstory is just plot armor. If they're good at something, show why. Time. Training. Failure. Maybe they’re not even the best—just someone who works harder than they should have to. That’s infinitely more compelling than someone who just is talented for no reason.
5. Avoid Overloading Them With Traits They don’t need to be smart, funny, hot, tragic, a prodigy, a rebel, and an empath who bakes when sad. Choose what matters. Strip it down to the few traits that define them, the ones they carry into every scene. Complexity is about layers, not a pile of labels.
6. Give Them Internal Conflict We all contradict ourselves. That’s the beauty of it. Your character should wrestle with decisions. Regret them. Say one thing and feel another. Inner conflict is what separates a walking trope from a person we believe in.
7. Let the Plot Push Back The world shouldn’t bend for your character. The plot should push them, break them, make them bleed for the win. Their goals should cost something. The story isn’t just their playground—it’s the pressure cooker where they get tested. If they’re never cornered, what’s the point?
8. Ensure They Don’t Eclipse the Entire Cast Other characters are not props. Give them wants, voices, limits. They don’t exist to spotlight the protagonist—they exist to breathe life into the story. And your MC is more interesting when they’re surrounded by people who push them, contradict them, challenge them.
9. Avoid Unrealistic Morality Nobody’s always right. And honestly, it’s annoying when they are. Let them justify things that aren’t justifiable. Let them fail to see another perspective. Let them believe they’re in the right—until they’re not. Give them a compass that doesn’t always point true north.
10. Make Them Struggle to Earn Trust Trust is a slow build. People remember hurt. They hesitate. Let your MC do the work—prove themselves, fail, rebuild. Trust earned over time is more satisfying than instant loyalty that comes out of nowhere.
I hate perfect characters. Especially when it’s pretend perfection. Like what do you mean he has abs when he has no time to workout? Like what do you mean she is so put together all the time? In this economy?
let's write something raw, something realistic.
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