Sorry For Obsessively Refreshing Your Blog Every Chance I Get For Any New Posts Or Information Retaining

wow. i really haven't spoken to my fp in a whole week. after 3 years of talking every single day, all day.

they've sent me memes all week, i only actually opened our chat for the first time yesterday. all i did was like the posts they sent me. i didn't really know what else to do. i feel like this is so wrong. everything feels wrong and i feel numb.

they had made this big instagram post with their new besties during the week too, so I know exactly what they've been doing this whole time that they haven't been talking to me.

why is it impossible for me to be anyone's first choice.

why do i still bother lol

(crawls on all fours with blood drenched on me) I have to do arts and crafts

me when masturbating doesnt fix me

People seriously underestimate the long term effects of constant loneliness

"why are you so weird?" Idk, maybe because being completely isolated while growing up has destroyed my brain and now I'm nothing more than a human-mimicking creature that bases all of my actions on what I think is normal human behavior rather than just doing things naturally

"read yesterday" OH OK MHM MHM MHM MHM FASCINATING

Taking care of the disabled and injured is human nature actually. We have evidence of our ancestors caring for folks with disabilities. We're a cooperative species that takes care of their own. If our starving, weary, and hunted ancestors could care for the disabled members of their tribe, in this era of modern medicine and abundant resources we absolutely can afford to do the same.

i like clingy. i like double texts. i like random calls. i like paragraphs. I love being excited to talk <3

part of my masculine charm is that i'm completely insane

keeping myself from cutting everyone off just because deep down I still have hope that some of them actually care and eventually will notice my absence.

sorry i pushed you away i felt abandoned and suicidal