spiritisawake

Latest Posts by spiritisawake

"If Hanahaki Was Real"

'If hanahaki was real,' thought the brunette as they stared into the distance

'I don't think I'd have survived.'

The signs start with that pit in your stomach, The seed of the disease slowly growing and planting roots.

"Hey dude, you ok?" I come to my senses, Looking at the concerned person with short black hair sitting behind me.

The roots spread all around you, Your mind, Your blood cells, Your soul, Your heart.

A moment of staring passes, I decide to be truthful with my answer.

And it starts feasting on your life force, Chowing down your will to live, Replacing it with a desire.

"Truth be told, No, Not really at all." I slightly shake my head, A tired smile adorning my face.

"Why don't you come sit next to me? Isn't it lonely sitting by yourself in the row?" They comment. Mentioning the fact that I'm the only one of my friends to be sitting behind them.

And even if I appreciate the offer...

A desire of that persons love.

I'd rather be closer to them.

Ah love.

The spiritual form of all those flowers blooming in ones body.

As time passes, Despite my eyes opening up a slight bit, I feel a need to spit my guts out.

But those flowers grow with the affection you harbour towards them.

They need space.

As I get closer to the bathroom, I feel a familiar sense of things rushing up my throat.

But...

And when they don't have enough space,

This time...

They are left with no choice,

It feels different...

Other than to overflow.

.

.

.

'Hanahaki isn't real,' I say to myself.

'But these soft blue rose petals coming out of my throat are.'

Ok can we all agree that one of the best things in life, is going to a bookstore and talking(yapping) with the clerk for a long period of time? Like they're such nice and open minded people /gen

Hehe I love killer chat (why tf was drawing ronin so hard)

Ignore the empty spaces pls I'll put a sticker or something on em later lol, also pls excuse the quality 😔

Closeups:

Tobako and saike might unironically be becoming my fav duo in ool

This was inspired by something someone said in the ool server, u guys should definitely check it out!!

(No we don't talk about the new milgram video rn it only added to my depression)

TW for mentions and talk about suicide (attempts) regarding the text:

You know as a haruka kinnie it actually terrifies me to know that he died from the same method I was using in so far (hopefully) the last and probably most planned out attempt I had at suicide...I already was doing it so no one would've noticed and had that one person not convinced me, even if it was indirectly, I wouldn't have been here.

That was nearly a year ago and I've been doing better but every now and then I think back to the day I planned it, the relief I felt when I found out I would no longer be there and the fear that followed after that thought at the realisation that I was happy about that, the fear from the fact that I actually genuinely physically felt like a weight and a burden was taken off of my shoulders.

Makes me wonder what would've happened had someone seen through muu and reached out to him sooner.

Anyway I never showed this sketchpage did I? Sooo here, I actually drew this quite a while back but I never showed it even tho I wanted to, glad I shared it now lol

(Also don't mind the hiragana for sakurai being wrong by the time my friend pointed it out I was already done with the page-)

I keep on thinking of Saiki k when I see her because her names saike 😔💅✨️

Here's a version without the power thing on her hand:

You know I love being a multishipper but at the same time it's the first time I'm experiencing sadness from it because YAY MY SHIP IS SAILING but then the other pairing that includes one of the characters won't get together and I'm just so conflicted rn :(

WOOHOO MY FIRST COMMISSION!! Tysm to @starlight-4eva for letting me draw their gorgeous OCs!! <33

Some shit I made inspired by a/during a convo with bestie 😔💔 (bestie pls use tone tags I can't read :( /hj pls use tone tags tho I do actually need them /gen)

Ty to @CallieLover101 letting me draw her OC Terra!! SHE WAS AN ABSOLUTE JOY TO DRAW!!!

Here's a version without the background

Babys first post on bluesky 💃🫶💅✨️

Uhm yea I'm on there too now lol

CHAT THEY'RE ALIVE

Overthinking went brrrr 😔

chat help I may or may not have gotten my friend and by extension my whole class in trouble by accident help

I didn't even go to school today 😭😭😭

chat help I may or may not have gotten my friend and by extension my whole class in trouble by accident help

I didn't even go to school today 😭😭😭

Commissions Open! (For free!!) (Closed)

Hello! I'm Spirit, this is my first time taking commissions and I'm doing it to have examples of my art since my style has changed a bit so these commissions are completely free!

If you want to commission me pls dm me! and I'd appreciate it if u could reblog the post (that is mostly so I'm aware you're not a bot but also so the post gains attention)

There are 10 slots and they will be open till the 30th of February or sooner if the spots end up being taken completely

I forgot to add this but I will also be drawing just general characters as well as ocs

Here are examples of my work!

This inspired me to draw how I think haruka would react to watching a studio ghibli film for the first time

Also here is what I think some of the prisoners fav studio ghibli films would be:

Haruka: When marnie was there (he'd either absolutely love and relate to it or FUCKING HATE IT)

at first I thought he'd like my neighbour totoro but then I immediately thought he'd actually HATE THAT because 1 - animals and 2 - Children, also he'd probably dislike the boy and heron too just because of the heron

Mahiru: howls moving castle

I don't think I need to explain, it's cute it's beautiful and it's got romance, castle in the sky is a close second

Fuuta: I actually think he wouldn't really be a big fan of ghibli films, but maybe he'd say spirited away or my neighbour totoro idk fuuta stans pls help

Mikoto: maybe castle in the sky? Or ponyo- idfk dude help I know he'd probably like ghibli films I just don't know what his fav would be

I honestly have no idea for the rest so feel free to share your own opinions on this I'd love to hear them!

Does anyone else think Haruka would really like Studio Ghibli stuff??? Like??? A lot??? Because it has that??? Feeling??? Youthful, free but not quite infantilized??? And there are themes I think he’d really like to see???

predictions for haruka third voice drama if he turns out to be alive (perhaps unlikely):

1. es and haruka throw bricks at each other

2. es: "hey. sorry for voting muu guilty after you said you would kill yourself if i did. just wanted to let you know that suicide is never the answer and. that people care about you"

haruka: "who else could care about me other than muu?"

es: *audibly vibrating at the thought of having to be emotionally vunerable*: People.

Bestie do not pull a haruka it's not gonna work

(I'M SO SORRY IS THAT TOO DARK??? 😭😭😭)

Es better get another song this trial or else nothing is forgiven and I will kill myself 🙏🙏🙏

February 12! Mark your calendars! Have some alcohol on hand!

Haruka nation how the FUCK DO WE FEEL????!!!

Yea I uh, I just found out today in the middle of drawing haruka uhm

Have this drawing I'm gonna go cry myself to sleep if he's actually dead

(ALSO MAPPI NATION AND SHIDOU NATION I LOVE U GUYS THEY DID NOT DESERVE THAT SHIT IF ANYONE NEEDS A HUG OR SOMETHING JUST TELL ME)

This took way longer than it should have-

Uhm anyway I didn't want to actually color her because it had already taken so long so I just opted for a pink-ish grayscale version so uh

Have strawberry mizuki ig lol

Sanguine

Chat why are art styles inspired by like dc comics so pretty Like I can never stop my fascination for them whenever I see them *floats away*

Boothill angst my beloved

drew this before release of boothill's lore

so here's sm sad stuff

Chat help why is developing a character so hard like how tf would I know what makes this pathetic piece of shit angry in an instant 😔

WOAH??? Thank you guys so much for the support on the taylyn post????

Uhm here have some sillies sillying

I wanted to draw ash,logan and Ben and even haruka from milgram as well but that's gonna have to be for another day

Here are the full chibis (my first complete attempt at chibis yippie)

BEN APPRECIATION FUCK YEAH

someone give ben a raise he’s working overtime

logan and taylor's friendship (an appreciation post)

Two posts in a day?! Woah! (Why did I lowkey think of "Green leaves...on a summers day?" When typing that tf)

Uhm anyway have some Ash and Tay art because I love them they are my sillies (This was NOT supposed to be ship art lol but view it as that if u want lol I'ma multishipper so I'm good 👍)

Also here are the sketch and one without the lighting:

So uh I made some changes to my art style and this whole thing was just me practicing with it

Also yes the one with the pink hair is aliyahsinterlude, specifically from a screenshot from IT GIRLs mv

I just thought the look ate(all of her looks do tbh) + I realised I'm not that good at shading darker skin tones so I wanted to practice on that + puffed out(?)/curly hair

Did I capture it perfectly? No. Am I still proud of it? Fuck yea, I just hope I did her justice /gen

bro the P;EG fandom are my ppl specially on tumblr like warnings for spoilers AND fellow ppl who ship my otp(kaimon)? PLUS SO MANY INTRESTING THEORIES TOO LIKE- I love yall yall slay 🫶