Staar-fire - Bat Wayne 🦇

by dan more & tamra bonvillain

Damian rn:

Bruce Wayne having to play Fuck, Marry, Kill on a talkshow, except all the options are JL members.

Clark Kent’s guide to getting ur bf to take a break

i saw your thoughts on harley quinn and bruce wayne/batman becoming besties because they attended med school together. give us more.

okay bruce wayne & harley quinn headcanons:

they were in the same classes at med school and they sat together everywhere for like 3 weeks before they ever talked to each other, because bruce was an edgy bitch and harley was like 'you interrupt me while i'm studying you'll lose a finger'

when bruce adopted dick harley showed up at his doorstep completely unannounced with a t-shirt for dick that said 'my dad dropped out of med school and all i got was this stupid t-shirt'

even after she did a swandive into a pool of hot bleach she still tried to hang out with bruce, but kept getting arrested every time. so she settled for the next best thing: his furry alter ego batman

(yes she knows he's batman, what like it's hard?)

every single time she and the joker get up to some shit, she has a chat with batman, so she can annoy him by psychoanalysing him and calling him a furry, only when he starts psychoanalysing her it's really not fun anymore

when bruce took jason in she sends him a shirt that says 'ask me why my dad dropped out of medschool'

she and the joker are broken up by the time he kills jason and she ties him to the 56th floor of the wayne enterprises building in his underwear

when robin number three rolls around she hand delivers him a t-shirt that says 'inside every strong man is a tinier man that didn't finish med school'

after robbing the gotham zoo of their hyenas she names one bruce and the other ivy, while bruce is flattered, ivy doesn't talk to her for 3 weeks

robin four, also known as girl robin gets a shirt that says 'the reason my boss acts like that is because he didn't finish med school and wants to make it everyone's problem'

robin five doesn't want to accept her gift and tries to arrest her, so she shows up at their door the next day with her 'my father is a 6'0 Gothamite born in February who didn't finish med school' t-shirt. seeing as bruce wasn't home, that gets her arrested.

ivy breaks her out of arkham and harley vows to be her trophy wife. she lasts 3 days before breaking into bruce's house in the middle of the night to steal a cool painting.

bruce just looks at her while she's trying to escape like 'you could've just asked if you wanted that' and they get a drink together.

damian wakes up to find his dad and harley quinn black out drunk talking about that time bruce fell off a roof when they were in med school and let a first year student set his arm.

he wakes up tim and just goes "there is a- jester in our home,"

tim's like "oh you mean harley? yeah i'd been wondering when she'd come around" and just goes back to sleep

(cass gets a 'the only thing worse than a father is a father who didn't finish med school' t-shirt)

(duke gets a 'i aspire to work harder than my father who didn't finish med school' t-shirt)

Damian: [trying to stab tim]

Tim: [yelling] where did he get a knife?!

Jason: [reading a book] from the kitchen 🙄

Continuation of my sirens post, and a friendly reminder that batman isn’t on the side of the law, he’s on the side of justice

talia in arab clothing 😈

Jason rlly has the best origin ever like. Eleven years old. Manages to steal three whole Batmobile wheels. Hes like you know what I’m going back for the fourth. Gets caught by batman and instead of being like AHH BATMAN he’s like fuck you bat-stard (knocks the wind out of Batman with a tire iron) (books it while yelling TRY AND CATCH ME DUMMY 👅) and all that makes batman LAUGH in the anniversary of his parents DEATH in the SAME EXACT PLACE they died. Like. Iconic. Truly not only a funny as fuck origin but also manages to tell you in like one scene everything you need to know about Jason and what his dynamic with Bruce used to/should be