Last Post About This Run I Swear + Three Panels Of Bruce That I Think About Way Too Often

Headcanon that Dami will speak Arabic when he’s really pissed off,

he thought Bruce could’t understand (but actually Bruce does).

and Happy Children’s Day : )

OKAY SO I FOUND OUT BRUCE DOES THIS SHIT ⬇️ THANKS TO THIS POST

And you cannot convince me he doesn't use it to protect his birds when they're in danger. Something's been tossed at one of his kids? He tackles them and cocoons them up with him for safety without hesitation. You could almost call it a panic response, if you could get him to admit that he panics.

Their reactions:

Dick: "I've been doing this nearly as long as you have, remember? I could have dodged that, but I appreciate it." Or "If you wanted a hug, dad, you just had to ask."

Cass: if she's in a good mood she's okay with it. A bad mood and he gets glared at and pinched because she can handle this dad, come on.

Jason: always starts cursing and wiggling around trying to get free before begrudgingly settling down and just accepting it. Never minds it as much as he says he does. Bruce would hug you more often if you weren't allergic to admitting you want him to you silly boy (he gets cocooned a lot so Bruce can hug him anyway).

"Are you alright, son?"

"god DAMN it old man!! Let me go!!!"

"I can't yet until I know you won't be in immediate danger."

"ARRRGHHH"

"Jaylad, I'm just trying to keep you safe."

"I don't need you to--!"

"I don't know what I'd do if I lost you again."

"..........." Sigh. Cue a little more wiggling and an intentional elbow to B's ribs as Jay gets comfortable. His siblings are gonna tease him mercilessly later, he just knows it.

Steph: spends the time roasting him into oblivion and annoying him in the hopes he'll stop doing it; has yet to learn that he does, in fact, value her safety and well-being over his pride. Shocking, I know.

Tim: grew up pretty touch starved so while he finds it annoying, he also doesn't complain beyond a bit of half hearted grumbling because by god he needs the hugs.

"was this really necessary?"

"yes"

"🙄"

"How did you--"

Duke: What is this??? What is happening??? Why's it dark??? Straight up blinds Bruce in surprise every time which just leads to him being cocooned longer because now Bruce has to recover before he can tell if it's safe.

"Son, your powers are incredible and we're very proud of you but please don't use them on me"

"Sorry B, my bad."

"I'll admit that's a useful startle response though."

"Right?? Some asshole at school tried to sneak up behind me as a joke and had to go to the nurse and I didn't even touch him."

"Hn."

"Uh, I mean, I don't use my powers at school at all. Ever."

Damian: gets cocoon tackled the most because baby. That's his baby, people are throwing things AT HIS BABY--! Fucking HATES it. Will straight up start gnawing on Bruce's arm if cocooned too long.

"FATHER RELEASE ME AT ONCE"

"Not until it's safe"

"I WAS TRAINED BY--"

"I don't care."

A sulking puppy for a little while that will never admit to enjoying the affection, but still, only for so long. There is a quota and once it's reached, It's like Bruce has trapped himself with a rabid raccoon.

Why are his children like this.

Now we know where Damian got it from

16-year-old Bruce Wayne trying to be sneaky

Alfred: [stops by Bruce’s door because he hears talking] “who are you talking to?

Bruce: “uh, no one!” [shuffling noises]

Alfred: [closes his eyes and counts to 5] “I’m coming in, be decent”

Bruce: [laying in bed partially under the covers, he is shirtless] “hey Alfred”

Alfred: [raises an eyebrow at the obviously large lump under the blanket next to Bruce] “who is that?”

Bruce: “who? There’s no one here, Alfred”

Alfred: “that lump under your blanket, master Bruce. Is this what we’ve come to? Blatant lying and sneaking people in?”

Bruce: “no?”

Lump moves

Bruce: “this bed is very bouncy”

Alfred: [strides over to rip the blanket off]

Bruce: “Alfred wait, please I can explain-“

Alfred: [rips off blanket revealing a black lab who is happy panting. It’s tail immediately starts thumping at the reveal]

Bruce: “he’s my friend! and and I am already planning on rejoining him after I find the right person and I gave him a bath, he has a name, and uh, look this collar? I bought for him today. He even has a leash to go with it-oh! Look [gets up and grabs bandanna from nightstand] “he even has an outfit!”

Alfred: [slow blinks] “I was expecting a person, a girl or a lad”

Bruce: [freezes] “nono, no person or uh boys? Definitely no boys- uh um…”

Alfred: [staring at the dog in shock] “master Bruce, I will be completely honest with you I did not expect this”

Bruce: “I feel like your expectations were actually too high”

Alfred: “where did you get this dog, Bruce”

Bruce: [looking down] “I might have stolen him…”

Alfred: “I’m not going to even ask, I sure you had your reasons… please, just don’t do this again”

Bruce: “… if I were you I wouldn’t go in my bathroom then”

Cat suddenly meows loudly behind bathroom door

Alfred: [leaves the room]

Jason rlly has the best origin ever like. Eleven years old. Manages to steal three whole Batmobile wheels. Hes like you know what I’m going back for the fourth. Gets caught by batman and instead of being like AHH BATMAN he’s like fuck you bat-stard (knocks the wind out of Batman with a tire iron) (books it while yelling TRY AND CATCH ME DUMMY 👅) and all that makes batman LAUGH in the anniversary of his parents DEATH in the SAME EXACT PLACE they died. Like. Iconic. Truly not only a funny as fuck origin but also manages to tell you in like one scene everything you need to know about Jason and what his dynamic with Bruce used to/should be

reblog to beat the joker to death

Who is the best animated Batman? Can the Supermen convince you that it's theirs? (Alt: Who is the most whipped animated Superman?)

Young Bruce content? Young Bruce content 😌

Bruce absolutely adored babysitting Barbara. He loved every second he spent with her and before he had the courage to ask Jim if Barbara could stay the weekend. . .

Jim: Hey Bruce, I'm here to pick up Barbara.

Bruce, who is currently holding Barbara in his hands: Who?

Jim: . . . Barbara. . . My child-

Bruce: Never heard of her-

Jim: Bruce you're holding her right now-

Bruce: . . .

Jim: . . .

Bruce: *Casually walks over to a lamp and puts the lamp shade over Barbara's head* This is a lamp, Jim-

My best friend loves rob pattinson and over the years she sent me a lot of articles/quotes of him, so here are some of my favourites

(there is A LOT more, this man is INSANE)

Bonus:

diana totally moms out on teen bruce every chance she gets and whenever he does something especially risky during a fight she spends at least three hours fussing over him and lecturing him