U Think I Am Joking But This Is Genuinely How I Look While Writing: “god, You’re So Fucking Wet”

Captain Human Eater

Peter: Mr Stark, what's a humanitarian?

Tony: *Completely stoned* It's like a vegetarian but they eat humans.

Peter: *Slowly turning to Steve* You make me sick.

REBLOG if you are old enough to remember what a VCR is.

don't go Nanamin don't go

Peter places an envelope on Tony's desk.

Tony looks up confused, "huh? What's that for?"

"It's for you," he points awkwardly at the plain blue envelope, held closed with a Darth Vader sticker.

"It's not my birthday kid." He snaps the protective face shield back down as he picks up his soldering iron, sparks flying as he gets back to work.

"I know that I, uh. It's from, it's for. It's yours. I gotta go, see you later Mr. Stark!" Peter hikes his backpack up tighter as he skips out of the lab.

Tony grunts in acknowledgement without looking up, eyes focused on the searing metal in front of him.

* * *

"Tony? I thought you were gonna have dinner with me after Peter left," Pepper saunters down into the workspace in a flattering pair of jeans and baby blue blouse.

"I was. I am. He left like five minutes ago," Tony waves at her without taking his eyes from the computer he's typing on.

"Happy drove him home two hours ago. Come, have a nice sit down meal with me." Pepper wraps her arms around his shoulders from behind, kissing the top of his head.

"I can have a sit down meal. I'm sitting right now, bring the carbonara down here and it'll be a proper date," Tony replies.

"Yeah, you me and your computer. How romantic. Tony, come upstairs- what's this?"

Tony glances up to see her holding a blue envelope.

"Uh, it's the kids."

Pepper flips it around, "it says To Mr. Stark From Peter on the back."

Tony just shrugs and goes back to typing on his computer.

The delicate glue of the sticker is undone under Pepper's sharp nails as she opens up the envelope and pulls something from inside.

"It's illegal to open someone else's mail y'know," Tony teases.

"Tony this- god you are such an asshole!" Pepper smacks Tony on the back of the head with the envelope.

"Ow! What the- what did I do now! I was just joking about the carbonara thing... mostly."

Tony finally meets Pepper's eyes of scorn. She tosses something in front of him with a huff.

"Tony, he even used a Darth Vader sticker. Do you know how adorably geeky and topical that is? You have got to start paying more attention to the living breathing people in front of you instead of your machines. Dinner is ready, please come upstairs."

Tony watches her leave as the clack of her heels fade away with every step. He's not sure what Darth Vader has to do with missing dinner, but he's quick to get up and start to follow.

He pauses before he makes it out the door, turning to finish the last line of code before he forgets the function. He pushes something off of his keyboard to type and press save.

Tony can't remember the last time he looked up from his work long enough to consume solid food. He's so ready to carb-load with some Italian food, turning away from the computer and blue envelope.

Tony's eyebrows furrow. Hm. Darth Vader sticker.

Tony turns back around and picks up the envelope from beside his keyboard.

This must be what the kid was yapping about earlier. Tony sticks his hand inside and finds a card, pulling it out.

"Father's Day it is," the front says in bold lettering with a picture of Yoda crudely hand-drawn with a sharpie and green highlighter. Tony flips it open, "celebrate you we must" is written in the middle of the page.

Below is a message in smaller writing; "Thank you for everything Mr. Stark, we wouldn't be here without you!" with a blob of sharpie that looks suspiciously like it's scribbled out a small heart, then signed "From Peter, Dum-E and U" each name written in their own unique handwriting.

"Friday, what day is it?"

"It is Sunday June 16th, also celebrated as Father's Day in countries such as the United States, Canada, and the UK."

Hm.

Tony stands there and stares at the card for longer than he'd ever admit before looking up at Dum-E.

"You help with this?" he asks, pointing at the card.

Dum-E chirps happily, twirling his claw around.

"Your hand writing's terrible."

* * *

Peter enters the lab slowly, an unsureness to him that's out of character.

It's Wednesday, his usual day for coming over to Tony's workshop. He hasn't heard anything from Tony since Sunday, not that he usually does. Still, the quietness has unnerved him. He's not sure what he was even expecting from his mentor; silence is probably the nicest response he could hope for after embarrassing himself like that.

"Hi Mr. Stark," he greets once he spots the older man sitting next to a complicated tangle of wires.

"Hey kid, can you go to the computer and run the command I have open for me?"

"Sure thing!" Peter says as he dumps his backpack onto the floor and jogs over.

The two get into an easy rhythm and Peter's practically forgotten why he was nervous in the first place when, "hey grab us some sodas will you," Mr. Stark asks him.

Peter walks up to the fridge in the corner of the room when he notices something new.

In the center of the silver metal lies a single piece of paper, stuck to the refrigerator with a plain magnet seemingly scrapped from some old hardware in the lab.

Tony has his Father's Day card displayed like some dorky parent whose kid got a half-decent report card, showcased on a fridge like a toddler's finger painted masterpiece.

It makes Peter so happy he can't wipe the stupid grin off his face the entire time he's grabbing sodas and delivering one to Tony.

The older hums a thanks without looking away from his project, but as Peter turns away Tony's own face contorts into a pleased smile all of his own.

The two share identical smiles all afternoon, hidden behind soda cans and computer screens.

“young adult dystopian novels are so unrealistic lmao like they always have some random teenage girl rising up to inspire the world to make change.”

a hero emerges 

REUNION BROTHERS - FITLER EFFECT (FAN ART)

PH: "Keiid"

I don't think we can 'lmao' our way out of this one, girls.

Strawberry Mentos

pairing: itadori yuuji x sweet tooth!reader

c/w: song prompt, based on this post, early relationship, petnames (yuuji and reader call each other baby, reader calls yuuji sweet boy), gn!reader

wc: 1.1k

~°•*~

You chew on those little fuckers all the time. Between meal breaks at work or while out running errands, you're more likely than not macking away at one of the chewy circles from the sweet roll of mints. Either that or you're out buying a whole new roll because you burned through the last one so fast.

You snack on other things, sure. You generally have a penchant for eating a wide variety of sugary sweets, much to the amusement of your boyfriend. Yet there's no doubt about which particular brand and flavor is your go-to.

Today, however, is one of those rare instances where you don't have a pack on you. Different snacks befit tonight's planned events.

It's movie night. Yuuji has invited you over to his place to introduce you to his favorite movie series. He's been gushing about it all week, very clearly and unashamedly excited. While you are as well, you're also anticipant about being at your boyfriend's place with him, alone, for the very first time. You're antsy and giddy the whole time Yuuji is preparing your bowls of popcorn while you sit on the couch, remote in hand.

"Chocolate bunches in yours, right?" Yuuji asks as he places his plain popcorn on the coffee table.

"Yes, please!" you respond. You smile up at him and he can't help but grab at your chin and shake your head affectionately.

"Coming right up, baby." He grins like a lovelorn loser.

You feel warmth bubble up in your cheeks, so you push Yuuji towards the kitchen. "Hurry up already! I wanna press play soon!"

Yuuji laughs as he pretends to run away scared. "Alright, alright! Not my fault you insist on adding candy to your popcorn! I'll be right back."

You rest your chin on your hands, which are covered by the oversized sleeves of Yuuji's hoodie. You hide your face in them and let out a deep exhale.

God, he makes you feel so soft. You know your insides are mushy, but this is ridiculous.

You do your best to compose yourself before your boyfriend comes out holding your popcorn bowl, already chewing before you've gotten the chance to have some.

You gasp. "You better not be eating my popcorn while I've been waiting patiently for you to start the movie."

Yuuji circles the couch, chuckling. "Of course not, wouldn't dream of it."

No sooner does he hand you the bowl that you playfully snatch it away and inspect its contents. It seems untouched and has the same amount of popcorn as his bowl, not including your added topping.

You narrow your eyes at him in scrutiny. He sits smiling and sitting crisscross on the couch like a puppy. The poster child of innocence. You narrow your eyes further. "Alright, I'm satisfied. Thank you, baby."

You lean over and pucker your lips at him, and he meets you halfway in a kiss. "Anytime, baby."

Yuuji grabs his bowl from the table and leans back, relaxedly placing an arm on the back of the couch. He faces the screen, waiting.

And nothing happens.

He turns to the remote in your hand. "You gonna put play, baby?"

He failed to realize that you'd been sitting staring at him unblinkingly. His kiss had given you pause.

You rub your lips together in thought. You put your popcorn bowl to the side. You then lean forward and place the remote next to his thigh, catching his lips in another kiss.

Now it's his turn to be taken aback. He's wide-eyed as you pull away. "Woah, what was that for?"

You furrow your brow lean forward again, taking his jaw into one of your hands and deepening the kiss. There's tongue now. Why is there tongue now? Not that Yuuji is complaining, but he's so lost.

You separate for the last time and you both give each other perplexed expressions. You speak at the same time.

"Baby, I'm so confused--""Why do you taste like strawberries?"

"Huh?"

You lick your lips a little to make sure. You breathe out a laugh. "Yuuji, you definitely taste like strawberries. The artificial flavor kind, anyway. Is that what you were chewing on?"

Yuuji suddenly blushes a deeper shade of red. "M-maybe..."

You let out a laugh at the state of him. "I'm sorry if I caught you off guard, you just don't usually eat this kind of stuff. I was surprised."

"Well..." He rubs at the back of his neck sheepishly. "I know you really like this candy. It's your favorite. And I just thought... I dunno, that you'd like it... for when I kiss you."

You blink at that.

Your favorite candy.

You couldn't tell him.

You couldn't possibly tell him that the reason you loved this particular candy so much, the reason you even picked them out in the first place, was because of how much those little pink pieces of sugar reminded you of him.

After you and Yuuji's very first date, when the inklings of real, true feelings were first beginning to blossom in your chest and in the pit of your stomach, you started to see him in everything.

In the glow of the blushing sky when the sun was setting.

In the rosé of sakura petals falling along sidewalks.

In convenience store candy flavors the very next day after he'd first held your hand.

You only ever reached for your very first roll of Strawberry Mentos because all you'd had on your mind--and all you'd suddenly had an intense craving for--was pink, and pink, and pink, and pink...

"Oh, my sweet, sweet boy." You grab him by both sides of his face and plant a big ol' smooch on his lips. "If you were any sweeter, you'd give me cavities."

He pinches your cheek and grins. "The amount of sweets you eat will do that way before I can."

You pout as he laughs at your expense. You grumble half-heartedly as you snuggle deeper into him, facing the screen. "Just play the movie."

He chest continues to shake in giggles as he wraps his arm around you. He grabs the remote and the movie starts playing. You reach for your bowl of popcorn again and settle in.

He's so kind. He's so stupid. Grabbing a pack of mentos just so you would taste it when he kisses you. Who does that?

You're glad he can't see the way your face heats up while you conjure up the image in your mind. Of him noticing how much you like to snack on strawberry mentos in particular. Of him looking for the pack while he's out shopping. Of him chewing on a few before he sat down to watch a movie with you just for the chance that you'd notice the flavor when your lips met.

So stupid...

...

"Hey, Yuuji?"

"Hm?"

"What's your favorite candy?"

~°•*~

divider via cafekitsune

“feminine urge” this and “masculine urge” that ok but what about the “mentally unstable urge” to rewatch the twilight saga for the 20th time just to feel something

game 6 :’D