I Came Up With This Three-way Table To Help Me (and Now You, If You Want) To Rate Things Out Of 5 Stars.

I came up with this three-way table to help me (and now you, if you want) to rate things out of 5 stars. I was thinking of books and films when I made it, but you can probably use it for other stuff.

A three by three table (excluding row and column headings).

The columns are labelled:
Nothing really wrong with it
A few things wrong with it
So many things wrong with it

The rows are labelled:
Lots of awesome things
A few awesome things
Nothing really awesome

The cells inside the table are labelled as follows:
Lots of awesome things/nothing really wrong with it: 5 stars
Lots of awesome things/a few things wrong with it: 4 stars (spicy)
Lots of awesome things/so many things wrong with it: 3 stars (spicy)
A few awesome things/nothing really wrong with it: 4 stars (bland)
A few awesome things/a few things wrong with it: 3 stars (mild)
A few awesome things/so many things wrong with it: 2 stars (spicy)
Nothing really awesome/nothing really wrong with it: 3 stars (bland)
Nothing really awesome/a few things wrong with it: 2 stars (bland)
Nothing really awesome/so many things wrong with it: 1 star

The idea is that you rate the thing on how much stuff you loved and how much stuff you hated, and those things weight against each other. There's only one way to get 5 stars or 1 star, so those should end up as the rarest ratings, wtih 3 stars being the most common.

'Spicy' means that the thing inspires emotion, whether positive or negative, while 'bland' means it doesn't affect you much either way.

An example of a 3-star (spicy) - for me personally - would be the Twilight series, because there's plenty of garbage in there but also some things that are like crack to me. I can't think of an example of a 3 star (bland) because by nature they don't stick in the mind.

(This also assumes giving 0 stars isn't allowed. That'd throw it out of whack...)

More Posts from Starastray and Others

1 year ago

Fics where Bingge goes on to find his own Shen Yuan are some of my favorites, and I need one where after he and Shen Yuan get their happily ever after Bingge just busts back into Bingmei’s world carrying Shen Yuan like “Get fucked, I found my own nice Shizun!” And Bingmei is so confused because who is this small guy who kinda looks like Shizun’s plant body? Shen Qingqiu is screaming internally because how did Bingge find another version of him and how is he gonna explain this to Binghe and wait — are Bingge and the other Shen Yuan in wedding robes?! And Shen Yuan is wondering what fanfic he just teleported into, because why was the other Binghe making out with Shen Qingqiu?!?!

1 year ago

Okay, concept:

Luo Binghe grew up very poor prior to arriving to QJP. And when he first got to QJP, he was ostracized and neglected. So there are probably a lot of phrases, terms, and ideas that he didn't know were things until SY arrived and started actually teaching him. Right? So the bulk of what he did learn, he learned directly from Shen Yuan's own slightly messy attempts to fake ancient scholarly credentials.

Plus, QJP is supposed to be the peak of scholars and well-read, fancy intellectuals, and YQY probably also doesn't know shit about most of that stuff (having also been a former illiterate street child) and of course is incredibly predisposed to take Shen Qingqiu's side on virtually anything. Especially something frivolous or linked to their shared past, such as someone, say Qi Qingqi, accusing Shen Qingqiu of making up a literary reference or "gibberish" word. If something Shen Qingqiu says is something no one else seems to know, that just proves he's more worldly and well-read than the rest of his peers. Also, Shang Qinghua will probably know it, and despite his many (many) character flaws, Shang Qinghua reads a lot too. There's really very little to convince a former street child turned Demon Emperor whose former education began and ended with Shen Qingqiu specifically and Meng Mo (wildly out-of-touch with human culture anyway) to suspect that some of the difficult-to-source references his master makes really have no worldly source (in this world).

So Luo Binghe, in his quest to become as knowledgeable of all things about his shizun and keep up with him as well as possible, and maybe also put down some arguments he's overheard once and for all, eventually gets annoyed because CLEARLY there is a wealth of cultural knowledge contemporary to Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua that didn't survive to his own generation. His efforts at hunting down all the sources being referenced and origins of certain philosophical ideas or terminology keep coming up empty in certain departments. He's been over the entire QJP library with a fine-tooth comb, but QJP focuses on things pertaining to cultivation, history, and knowledge. Obviously, there are gaps. The archives are unlikely to keep pop cultural references and lowbrow literature, and Luo Binghe begins to suspect (from what tastes his master seems to share with his shishu) that that is that actual source he's missing.

The trashy yellow books and romance literature of their generation! Bawdy poems and lewd artworks so on! Heck, that's probably even where the shared "code" (bad English) comes into play -- disciples are always trying to sneak forbidden material past their teachers and smuggle naughty books into the dormitories. Knowing Shizun and Shang Qinghua, Luo Binghe honestly wouldn't be surprised if the two of them were racketeering that shit in their own disciple days. Shang Qinghua acquiring materials, Shen Qingqiu acquiring buyers, both of them making their extra spending money off of secretly supplying Cang Qiong's population with contraband fiction and art.

Also, that would explain why both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua get flustered and refuse to elaborate if someone asks them what this or that strange turn of phrase refers to. Shen Qingqiu has a very thin face for actually discussing erotica, and Shang Qinghua doesn't like being caught doing illegal shit.

Luo Binghe desperately needs access to trash lit that's older than he is. However, most of that stuff is not printed to last, and turning it up is like trying to find old Spirk zines without the internet.

Shang Qinghua, the obvious go-to source, also seems to not really have anything that old anymore (intimidating him is laughably easy, if he had anything he would have coughed it up by the second or third time Luo Binghe asked and frowned at the same time), and if Shen Qingqiu did have anything he wouldn't want to be questioned about it. Asking too much might even get it destroyed in an act of excessive embarrassment.

Which means there is just one other person Luo Binghe knows who might be able to lead him to some sources. One other person he is absolutely, 100% certain was extensively reading trashy literature around the same time that Shizun was a young man. Someone who would know where to go to even begin looking for it.

Luo Binghe is going to have to ask Tianlang Jun for help with something.

6 months ago
I Love Soft Sasuke And I Believe There Should Be More Of That Side Of Him Showcased (my Boi's Had Enough
I Love Soft Sasuke And I Believe There Should Be More Of That Side Of Him Showcased (my Boi's Had Enough
I Love Soft Sasuke And I Believe There Should Be More Of That Side Of Him Showcased (my Boi's Had Enough
I Love Soft Sasuke And I Believe There Should Be More Of That Side Of Him Showcased (my Boi's Had Enough
I Love Soft Sasuke And I Believe There Should Be More Of That Side Of Him Showcased (my Boi's Had Enough

I love soft Sasuke and I believe there should be more of that side of him showcased (my boi's had enough trauma)

I wish we could have seen more of Sasuke's redemption arc and especially the bonds he had to restore (and deepen) with Sakura and Kakashi (not to mention Naruto bc he already has a really deep bond with him).

4 months ago

While Shen Jiu would initially scoff at “would you still love me if I was a worm?” He would not so secretly love it if Yue Qingyuan said he would still love him if he was a worm and would not so subtly prod YQY for how he would take care of and cherish worm-Jiu

Shen Jiu would declare he absolutely would NOT love YQY if he was a worm because that’s DISGUSTING. but when frantically trying to find YQY after a weird qi deviation and stumbling upon an errant worm, he holds it very gently and says it will be okay and kisses its little head (?), which human man YQY who just stumbled out of the bushes finds soul meltingly adorable.

1 year ago

AU where, after dying in PIDW, Yue Qingyuan wakes up in the past when Luo Binghe is still just 14… and of course, he immediately goes to kill him.

Unfortunately, he still has his protagonist halo, so something interferes, and YQY ends up being confronted by the other peak lords about why he suddenly decided to try and murder a random Qing Jing disciple. Now, YQY can’t just say that he’s a demon, because he’s not sure what methods will work to reveal that, since he doesn’t know how LBH hid his his heritage the first time around — so he comes up with excuses, ones that he hopes will at least get LBH out of the sect before he becomes too powerful. He’s a poor cultivator, he always gets into fights, the other disciples always accuse him of stealing things and he doesn’t get along with them, so they should just throw him out of the sect —

What he forgets to account for is the fact that Shen Jiu is there, listening to all of this, and hearing YQY list off all the traits he sees LBH as sharing with his younger self as reasons he doesn’t belong at the sect. He knew YQY didn’t care that much about him, not after he’d abandoned him when they were children but… it still hurts to hear it spoken about so explicitly. If YQY didn’t owe him a debt for saving his life, would he be saying the same words about SJ?

So, SJ stands up to defend LBH. Sure, he might have been silently hoping the kid would quit or get himself killed, but SJ is nothing if not spiteful, and YQY? He just made things personal. LBH is his disciple, not YQY’s and by the time SJ is done with him, he’ll be fit to be his successor.

YQY is now faced with an impossible situation — use his authority as sect leader to go against SJs wishes and get rid of his future torturer… or wait and see what happens. Surely he’ll get bored of Luo Binghe eventually and start hating him again… right?

9 months ago

SV AU where Shen Yuan is fourteen when he transmigrates.

Nothing else is different. It just turns out that the hate-reader dunking on Airplane's shitty sex scenes and worshiping Luo Binghe like it was his life's calling, and clearly repressing the hell out of some queer inclinations was, in fact, a literal teenager. He still ends up in adult Shen Qingqiu's body as the Qing Jing Peak Lord scum villain who's doomed by the narrative.

In fact the plot goes more or less exactly the same. Nothing significant in the main story changes.

But Luo Binghe and Shang Qinghua both have A Time in a post-canon identity reveal scenario.

1 year ago

Every single day I'm grateful for that time I stumbled on the SVSSS headcanon that while Bingqiu is considered highkey confusing and lowkey cringe in the demon realm, Moshang is known as the Power Couple™. They're the demonic love story. The 'It Couple'.

Just generations of demons sighing over the dramatic and bloody love story of the Northern King and his right hand man plus spymaster, yearning for a love story filled with such glorious violence and betrayal! A classic childhood friends to lovers narrative filled with ups and downs and copious murder and gore! Love at first sight! The story of the loyal spy who rose up the ranks of the brutal Northern Court, culling his competition while providing vital intel to his liege, all the while infiltrating the most powerful cultivation sect in the world and eventually even becoming a Peak Lord! The slow burn of all slow burns! All kinds of spicy complicated power imbalances! Sexy, unexpected age gaps! Years of heavy plot! Decades of passionate courting! The pinnacle of inter-species forbidden romance!The tale of a man who swore eternal loyalty after falling violently in love at the very first meeting, calling a mere Prince His King in his desire and determination to see his beloved's ascension to the throne that was his birthright, and the Demon Prince who was unexpectedly presented with fierce loyalty in a life that had until then been rife with treachery and grabbed it with both hands and never looked back!

...and there's Junshan and the weird human he keeps around. Somewhat interesting if you're into that teacher-student thing I guess. There were very few deaths. Some bland murders. The trial arc and the self destruct thing plus corpse hoarding was interesting but overall very vanilla. Unseasoned. Not even a proper decade of drama. Kinda boring. And Junshan's half human so they're like Walmart version inter-species romance. But whatever the Emperor's into I guess. His dad was kinda weird too but at least his relationship with that human woman had some kick to it. The new generation just doesn't appreciate a long drawn out painful romance tsk tsk...

Like infinitely grateful to whoever first spawned that headcanon. Never fails to make me laugh. Honestly the most hilarious thing I've ever seen in this fandom. Hope your pillow is always cold and you never stub your toe.

11 months ago

Luo Binghe is actually pretty lucky that Liu Mingyan shipped Bingqiu as hard as she did. Can you imagine what could have happened if she had wanted to make Liushen happen? Liu Qingge might have actually realized he had feelings. Liu Mingyan would have invented powerpoints just to walk her oblivious older brother through her plan to get him a husband. There would be a whole network of Cang Qiong fujoshis trying to engineer wife plots like the damn CIA. Forget the System, forget the old palace master, forget Xin Mo, Liu Mingyan would be the final boss for Binghe to get to Shen Qingqiu, and she would have had a whole Jedi council of his would-have-been wives. But because Binghe is Airplane’s favorite, instead he gets bad sex advice from her smut books.

6 months ago

People talk about how the POV in SVSSS is everything and I am personally obsessed with the idea of being a Bai Zhan peak disciple. Like imagine it.

Your teacher, who’s a certified badass, whose idea of a lesson plan is kicking the shit out of you, suffers a mild health emergency. Afterwards he becomes friends with the guy he hates??? The guy you ALL hate??? The guy seems to have had a Phineas Gage -esque personality switch so that’s not even the weirdest part of the situation. Your teacher is suddenly bringing him monster parts and having him over for tea and chucking you off a mountain if he asks. This continues for YEARS until the guy your teacher likes literally explodes himself in front of the entire student body. Then the exploded guy’s disciple comes back from the dead as a DEMON, takes over a peak you have a rivalry with, and kidnaps the guy who’s responsible for bandaging you up when you get hurt (which is often). THEN, your teacher, badass of all badasses, fights this demon every day for five years. He LOSES every day for five years. When you ask why, it turns out he’s after the other teacher’s corpse. Which the demon won’t let your teacher have. Some of the students think this is romantic. You’re here to kill monsters and Do Not Care, but are concerned for your teacher.

Then the exploded guy comes back to life, and after a quick stint of the world looking like it was going to end, marries the demon who took his corpse captive. He completely snubs your teacher. They STILL have tea with each every other week. The demon is not invited but shows up anyway. Your teacher still regularly throws you off a mountain.

Bai Zhan peak disciples really had the shortest and weirdest end of that particular stick.

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