I Still Think One Of The Funniest Experiences Of My Life Was Watching American Psycho With My Sister

Okay, concept:

Luo Binghe grew up very poor prior to arriving to QJP. And when he first got to QJP, he was ostracized and neglected. So there are probably a lot of phrases, terms, and ideas that he didn't know were things until SY arrived and started actually teaching him. Right? So the bulk of what he did learn, he learned directly from Shen Yuan's own slightly messy attempts to fake ancient scholarly credentials.

Plus, QJP is supposed to be the peak of scholars and well-read, fancy intellectuals, and YQY probably also doesn't know shit about most of that stuff (having also been a former illiterate street child) and of course is incredibly predisposed to take Shen Qingqiu's side on virtually anything. Especially something frivolous or linked to their shared past, such as someone, say Qi Qingqi, accusing Shen Qingqiu of making up a literary reference or "gibberish" word. If something Shen Qingqiu says is something no one else seems to know, that just proves he's more worldly and well-read than the rest of his peers. Also, Shang Qinghua will probably know it, and despite his many (many) character flaws, Shang Qinghua reads a lot too. There's really very little to convince a former street child turned Demon Emperor whose former education began and ended with Shen Qingqiu specifically and Meng Mo (wildly out-of-touch with human culture anyway) to suspect that some of the difficult-to-source references his master makes really have no worldly source (in this world).

So Luo Binghe, in his quest to become as knowledgeable of all things about his shizun and keep up with him as well as possible, and maybe also put down some arguments he's overheard once and for all, eventually gets annoyed because CLEARLY there is a wealth of cultural knowledge contemporary to Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua that didn't survive to his own generation. His efforts at hunting down all the sources being referenced and origins of certain philosophical ideas or terminology keep coming up empty in certain departments. He's been over the entire QJP library with a fine-tooth comb, but QJP focuses on things pertaining to cultivation, history, and knowledge. Obviously, there are gaps. The archives are unlikely to keep pop cultural references and lowbrow literature, and Luo Binghe begins to suspect (from what tastes his master seems to share with his shishu) that that is that actual source he's missing.

The trashy yellow books and romance literature of their generation! Bawdy poems and lewd artworks so on! Heck, that's probably even where the shared "code" (bad English) comes into play -- disciples are always trying to sneak forbidden material past their teachers and smuggle naughty books into the dormitories. Knowing Shizun and Shang Qinghua, Luo Binghe honestly wouldn't be surprised if the two of them were racketeering that shit in their own disciple days. Shang Qinghua acquiring materials, Shen Qingqiu acquiring buyers, both of them making their extra spending money off of secretly supplying Cang Qiong's population with contraband fiction and art.

Also, that would explain why both Shen Qingqiu and Shang Qinghua get flustered and refuse to elaborate if someone asks them what this or that strange turn of phrase refers to. Shen Qingqiu has a very thin face for actually discussing erotica, and Shang Qinghua doesn't like being caught doing illegal shit.

Luo Binghe desperately needs access to trash lit that's older than he is. However, most of that stuff is not printed to last, and turning it up is like trying to find old Spirk zines without the internet.

Shang Qinghua, the obvious go-to source, also seems to not really have anything that old anymore (intimidating him is laughably easy, if he had anything he would have coughed it up by the second or third time Luo Binghe asked and frowned at the same time), and if Shen Qingqiu did have anything he wouldn't want to be questioned about it. Asking too much might even get it destroyed in an act of excessive embarrassment.

Which means there is just one other person Luo Binghe knows who might be able to lead him to some sources. One other person he is absolutely, 100% certain was extensively reading trashy literature around the same time that Shizun was a young man. Someone who would know where to go to even begin looking for it.

Luo Binghe is going to have to ask Tianlang Jun for help with something.

I had the most hilarious thought!

A reverse transmigration AU, only it’s Bingge’s wives that keep popping into the modern world.

Shen Yuan is house sitting at his parents’ place while they’re on an extended trip. A few days in he discovers Ning Yingying wandering around the place, in her full Xianxia wife-of-the-emperor garbed glory!

She’s confused, Shen Yuan is confused, and they haven’t a clue how or why she’s there.

A display of spiritual powers manages to convince Shen Yuan she’s not just some insane cosplayer, so he does his best to be a polite host and accommodate his sudden guest. Surely Binghe will show up to ‘save’ her eventually so Shen Yuan wants to ingratiate himself, but in a polite, platonic way, so he doesn’t get himself killed as a kidnapper or for seducing Binghe’s wife.

Then the next day, Liu Mingyan shows up. A few days later, Sha Hualing is there. Then Qin Wanyue. Then the little Palace Mistress. Etc.

This is going to be a problem!

Is there some sort of dimensional leak in PIDW’s inner palace? Why do all of Binghe’s wives keep showing up??? How is Shen Yuan supposed to entertain all these people and keep them from wreaking havoc on the city and/or destroying his parents’ house? He’s just a regular guy!

Thank god his parents' staff are on vacation, and they have guest rooms to spare, but still. The food delivery services are giving him weird looks, and surely his parents will eventually review his credit card statements and notice all his sudden odd purchases of women’s clothing.

I’m not sure what all the modern interests of the wives would be, and where Shen Yuan would take them on outings, but he’s for sure a much better host then he realizes. He ends up encouraging them all to expand their horizons in ways they never would have while stuck in the harem with its expectations and politicking. (For two I have thought of: Liu Mingyan definitely finds meimei’s danmei stash in her old room at some point, and it would be hilarious if Sha Hualing was introduced to online PVP games and became the queen of epic gaming trash talk).

Bingge does show up eventually, and it turns out he had been trying to break into Shen Yuan’s world himself the whole time, only some type of misfire or portal issue kept nabbing the various wives instead.

Pretty much all the wives stuck in the modern world adore Shen Yuan by that point, so of course they’re all fine with Binghe bringing him back to join the harem. He’s great! Binghe had better treat him well though, or else.

I remember first learning that you can cry from any emotion, that emotions are chemical levels in your brain and your body is constantly trying to maintain equilibrium. so if one emotion sky rockets, that chemical becomes flagged and signals the tear duct to open as an exit to release that emotion packaged neatly within a tear. Everything made sense after learning that. That sudden stability of your emotions after crying. How crying is often accompanied by the inability to feel any other emotion in that precise moment. And it is especially beautiful knowing that it is even possible to experience so much beauty or love or happiness that your body literally can’t hold on to all of it. So what I’ve learned is that crying signifies that you are feeling as much as humanely possible and that is living to the fullest extent. So keep feeling and cry often and as much as needed

Shen Yuan who collects a harem a lot of Luo Binghes-

It's not intentional!! He, well, he's actually happy with his boyfriend. Twenty-something Shen Yuan had a hard time coming out and all, but, hey, Luo Binghe is a wonderful guy. And he loves him. He is his best friend, his favorite person, his most precious, his boyfriend and (he thinks) his future husband.

Then one day a xianxia version of his boyfriend appears at his door? Who calls him Shizun and demands retribution for being mistreated by him in the past? What the hell?

Okay, the resemblance is undeniable. Admittedly, he can only be an out-of-universe version of his boyfriend. With very long hair and xianxia drama robes. And a sword that gives off a lot of bad vibes.

And the Luo Binghe xianxia is here to stay.

This xianxia Binghe and his boyfriend Binghe's relationship is tense. Shen Yuan had to put in a couple of threats here and there to keep them from hitting each other (one is clearly non-human, one is completely human. That alone can lead to ICU visits!!!), and after a few weeks, the dynamic... holds. Hardly.

Xianxia Binghe demands to take Shen Yuan as his wife and empress, and his boyfriend-Binghe cries a little thinking that an orphan like him doesn't have much to offer Shen Yuan, and that he should just accept him. Shen Yuan gets angry with both of them. He's not going to marry any emperor or take control of any kingdom. No thanks! He doesn't even want control of his parents' company shares!

The tension continues, fights, arguments - which literally end one day when, through God knows how, another Luo Binghe appears. But he's adorable! A sweet little fourteen-year-old Xianxia Bunhe full of trauma!

And now, Boyfriend-Binghe and Xianxia-Binghe have a common enemy: Xianxia-Bunhe who clings to Shen Yuan with teary eyes and looks at them maliciously and superiority when Shen Yuan is not in the room. That damn shameless guy!!

Well, at least Shen Yuan is pleased that these two seem to be getting along better now. No matter what the circumstances are.

Other Binghes begin to appear: a Binghe disciple of Bai Zhan without so much trauma but terrible communication problems, a crown prince Binghe spoiled by his father Tianlang-jun (who is easily reduced in a fight against Xianxia-Binghe and Bai-Zhan-Binghe for treating Shen Yuan disrespectfully), a completely Demonic-Binghe, a very Old-Binghe, gray-haired and tired, even a Raised-In-Brothel-Binghe who looks uncomfortable wearing anything but sheer clothing!! Many Binghes, all with their emotional baggage and traumas, giving in to him like little lambs in need of love!!

Shen Yuan doesn't understand anything. He just... Look, he's living with his boyfriend, the original Luo Binghe for him, he WANTS privacy, not to have so many alternate versions of him in his house!! Even if they are adorable, or arrogant, or irritating!! Shen Yuan wants his life back. With his boyfriend!! To do boyfriend things and... That's it!! Is that so hard to understand!?

Then, fuck it. If there are SO MANY Binghes from so many universes... There must be more of himself in their own universes!! Just... They need to take a look!!! Open their eyes! The sword of Xianxia-Binghe can clearly traverse universes, they can search for their own Shen Yuan!!

... But they all confirm that they have not been able to find someone like him in their respective universes. Shen Yuan takes a breath, has a chat with his boyfriend about interdimensional vacations, and says, fuck it. We're going to go to all your universes and find your own other me.

Even if it means going through universes and confronting all their dramatic plots! Shen Yuan will recover his chill life with his boyfriend or perish in the attempt!!

Dark Lord and The Master of Death Harry Potter

Silly fic idea for you:

SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan transmigrates as a half-human half-crow-demon Phantom thief character.

He doesn’t want to steal from Bing-ge, but his System makes him, and naturally Bing-ge ends up obsessed. Bing-ge keeps luring him into traps with shiny things he just can’t help but want!!! Stupid crow impulses. (That he kinda wants to see Binghe again is irrelevant, obviously).

This is SUPER silly. Anon, this is so funny, I feel like I simply have to write this now oh my god. The idea that Bing-ge is confused at first, and he then sees this super handsome half bird-half human-demon thing and is like "man I need to get me more shiny things, I want to keep this fucker". ALSO, (I've heard that) crows are quite intelligent and start leaving presents as a response to getting fed or being given shiny things, so it could also be something where Shen Yuan starts having the urge to give Bing-ge things back after receiving all these shiny things (better if he doesn't recognise most of the traps as traps, mistaking Bing-ge for being a generous demon who doesn't need all of the shiny stuff he takes) and starts giving him shit like rocks and plants and the cool parts of beasts he fights... It also can be silly no matter when in the timeline this happens - it could be during the QJ peak arc where Shen Yuan sneaks around because he wants to see the awesome protagonist up close! The first time he steals something from Bing-ge, it's something super dumb like a particularly shiny rock or a coin that the boy left lying around, and Bing-ge's quickly like "??? The fuck just happened?" so he sets up a trap with the axe he uses for chopping wood (kind of rusty but still useable and particularly shiny). After that, it's chaos of trying to keep Shen Yuan the demon hidden while also stopping him from stealing other shiny things (cultivator's swords and such). Liu Qingge finds Shen Yuan trying to steal one of the swords he was gifted after saving a village and is also like "??? Kill?" It can also be after the Endless Abyss, when Bing-ge is like a demon lord and just has shiny stuff lying around. He throws it out occasionally and one day, while doing this, he notices a certain person swooping in and grabbing one of the shiny things. More antics ensue but I don't want to crash my laptop lmao (Which one would you rather me do, anon? Before the Endless Abyss, or after? Or both??) {part one! Part two, part three, part four, part five, part six, part seven!} [This gorgeous fanart from @slurmdog that's making me go insane here] [More awe inducing fanart from @moonlightobsessions that has made me pass out here]

Headcanon that Shen Yuan was hotter than Shen Qingqiu, actually.

Like yeah SQQ being a cultivator gave him a boost to enough attributes + being in a stallion novel where everyone is either unrealistic hot or dog's butt ugly got the Shen Qingqiu body extra points, and he wasn't bad looking to begin with. Plus not being ill is vastly more important to the new Shen Qingqiu than those extra hotness points (Without a Cure notwithstanding). But part of the reason why he's kind of like, meh, at least I'm not hideous or anything, is because Shen Yuan's original body was a knock out.

I also like him as chronically ill, and, as many people know, beauty standards and sustained suffering are not as incompatible as they should be. Shen Yuan was conventionally attractive in part because conventional beauty standards seem to want everyone slowly dying all the time. But even setting that aside, the man had flawless bone structure, an appealing figure, captivating eyes, and the kind of voice that stopped people in their tracks.

All of which was a contributing factor to his antisocial lifestyle, actually. Despite the fact that Shen Yuan does enjoy company and requires a certain baseline of social enrichment for his enclosure, his internalized homophobia and closeting did not play well with overtures from interested parties (regardless of gender). The only way to minimize the odds of him being asked out on dates was to essentially become a shut-in, especially since even Shen Yuan can only make so many excuses before he himself starts to notice that he's going to a lot of effort to avoid specifically that avenue of socialization. Far better to just remove himself from any risk of it, and then vocally lament that oh no he's just too much of a nerd to get anywhere with women!

Anyway this largely doesn't matter much outside of sheer comedy potential for any situation where SY gets his old body/life back. Like imagine a reveal scenario where the System is going to transport them back to their old lives.

Shang Qinghua: well bro I guess this is gonna be the ultimate test of love, right?

Shen Yuan: what do you mean?

Shang Qinghua: our husbands are gonna see what we looked like back before we were glorious cultivators! they're going to have to track us down in our mundane, kinda shitty pre-transmigration lives! it's gonna be at least a little embarrassing, right?

Shen Yuan: *gets his old body back*

Shang Qinghua, normal human with average looks: ...

Shen Yuan, exemplary 11/10: ?

Shang Qinghua: what. the fuck?? bro what the fuck why are you hot???

Shen Yuan: don't make it weird

Shang Qinghua: make it weird??? why were you sitting at home reading my shitty novel when you could have been out there building your own harem???

Shen Yuan: stop exaggerating

Shang Qinghua: oh my god you've always been like this. this is it, isn't it? it wasn't even brain damage from the transmigration or something--

Shen Yuan: hey

Shang Qinghua: --you've just always been completely unaware, haven't you? every time I wrote a beautiful woman who didn't know her own appeal you'd be jumping down my throat--

Shen Yuan: because that's a stupid trope--!

Shang Qinghua: --JUMPING DOWN MY THROAT EXACTLY LIKE THAT but this whole time THIS WHOLE TIME it wasn't even a glow-up issue, you've just been that, personified, yourself--

Shen Yuan: look I know I'm not ugly but I'm not I'm hardly that good-looking

Shang Qinghua: YOU ARE NEVER ALLOWED TO CRITICIZE THAT TROPE AGAIN! oh my god. how many broken hearts did you leave behind when you died?!

Shen Yuan: none, I wasn't even seeing anyone--

Shang Qinghua: yeah full offense but I am nottt taking your word for that. I bet you had a harem you didn't know about in this lifetime too. I bet you had a fan club, like an anime prince

Shen Yuan: *mumbling*

Shang Qinghua: what was that?

Shen Yuan: I said... only in high school...

Shang Qinghua: oh my god

Shen Yuan: it wasn't a big deal!

Shang Qinghua: *frantically trying to see if he can find any trace of it on the internet now*

ok. enough suffering now. i am seeking out delight

A man is driving down the road and breaks down near a monastery. He goes to the monastery, knocks on the door, and says, “My car broke down. Do you think I could stay the night?” The monks graciously accept him, feed him dinner, even fix his car. As the man tries to fall asleep, he hears a strange sound. The next morning, he asks the monks what the sound was, but they say, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man is disappointed but thanks them anyway and goes about his merry way. Some years later, the same man breaks down in front of the same monastery. The monks accept him, feed him, even fix his car. That night, he hears the same strange noise that he had heard years earlier. The next morning, he asks what it is, but the monks reply, “We can’t tell you. You’re not a monk.” The man says, “All right, all right. I’m *dying* to know. If the only way I can find out what that sound was is to become a monk, how do I become a monk?” The monks reply, “You must travel the earth and tell us how many blades of grass there are and the exact number of sand pebbles. When you find these numbers, you will become a monk.” The man sets about his task. Forty-five years later, he returns and knocks on the door of the monastery. He says, “I have traveled the earth and have found what you have asked for. There are 145,236,284,232 blades of grass and 231,281,219,999,129,382 sand pebbles on the earth.” The monks reply, “Congratulations. You are now a monk. We shall now show you the way to the sound.” The monks lead the man to a wooden door, where the head monk says, “The sound is right behind that door.” The man reaches for the knob, but the door is locked. He says, “Real funny. May I have the key?” The monks give him the key, and he opens the door. Behind the wooden door is another door made of stone. The man demands the key to the stone door. The monks give him the key, and he opens it, only to find a door made of ruby. He demands another key from the monks, who provide it. Behind that door is another door, this one made of sapphire. So it went until the man had gone through doors of emerald, silver, topaz, and amethyst. Finally, the monks say, “This is the last key to the last door.” The man is relieved to no end. He unlocks the door, turns the knob, and behind that door he is amazed to find the source of that strange sound. But I can’t tell you what it is because you’re not a monk

Isn't it soooo sick and fucking twisted that like...

Sj hated binghe a lot for being similar to himself and yet having all the things he craved the most (meaning a loving mother, starting cultivation at the right age etc), right?

But like. If he saw bingmei, wouldn't he lose his fucking mind??

The same kid, getting spoiled rotten by a version of himself that never faced any troubles, reaping only the benefits that someone else fought and literally died for???? That little beast, coddled into shamelessness and remaining just as feral after spending so many years on his Qing Jing Peak???? And despite how absolutely unbecoming it is, in the end it gets everything it wants: all the power, the world at its feet, and worst of all it gets his obsession reciprocated. The entitled impostor that took over sj's body loves that thing back and keeps giving in and in and in, giving it everything it wants.

And oh, if he ever noticed the parallels between what him and yqy went through vs. how the story unfolded for bingqiu..... Maybe he won't notice. After all, those pampered fools have nothing in common with him and yue qi. But if he ever were to notice how the same story beats repeat. The betrayal, the separation, the misunderstanding, the guilt, the reunion. If he were ever forced to see his body play yqy's role in his own story. Piloted by some clueless young master who never worked a day in his life, using all he has to over indulge some lost, snarling animal. And then get a happy ending. Crushing everything he ever stood for so decisively. Would he not prefer his original fate after all?

Maimed, humiliated, used as a play thing of a man-child god emperor for who knows how long. But in the end he never truly succumbed to him, did he? And yes, yqy's horrible, stupid death did crumble anything human that was left in him at that point. Still going against his wishes, always too late, never listening, same old same old. But perhaps at least in death he repaid his broken promise. Instead of wasting away, faced every day with a stranger he was supposed to know. And oh isn't it all the more horrible that sy got to finally hear yqy's explanation from his own mouth? Another mercy sj never got. Another thing stolen from him.

As horrible and violent as pidw is to sj. Svsss doesn't seem to be any kinder. We as readers get a better perspective on him and can finally understand him and his motives. But he would not want our pity. I know it in my bones that he would spit on our pity. If he wanted his story known, he could have explained and exposed himself at any point in the original storyline, but he did not want the world to pity him and to look down on him. He could have opened up his heart to other people, make some new friends, it shouldn't have been impossible. But he weighed his options and chose to keep his cards close to his chest. And even if that's very much the source of his tragedy, it was his choice to make. And it would be kind for any narrative he's taking part of to honour that choice.

Im afraid that despite it all, sj might just choose to stick to his original fate. Wronged and misunderstood, at least he went out on his own terms, without being perverted into something beyond recognition.

As much as he is willing to bite and scratch and kill and maim, no matter how much mud he drags himself through, i do think that there are some things that he is not willing to compromise on. I think even as a street rat, doing anything to survive, he still had a certain sense of integrity. Even in shamelessness, no matter how bad things got. And the older he became, the more he achieved, this sense only heightened. To the point where when sy takes over, he has a perfect hold on the mask of the lofty immortal, despite all the rumours. Seeing his hard work ripped from his so callously, appropriated casually and then used for the most inane purposes.....

Idk where im going with this but it does break my heart to think about how even in the new and improved version of the original plot, sj (and yqy for that matter) is treated as an acceptable sacrifice, never knowing peace, never getting closure. And we're supposed to just accept that and move on? As if his life doesn't shape the entire story?

In pidw, it was his cruelty that made binghe who he is. He's the main reason for the unification of the three realms under one rule. His petty, personal motivations indirectly shape the entire world. And in svsss, he is actually the titular scum villain. The main character wears him as a suit over the course of 4 books. He refers to himself as shen qingqiu exclusively throughout the novel. He may be dead for the entirety of svsss, but he haunts the narrative tenaciously. He is not one to be ignored.

More specifically, it is his suffering that shapes the world he's in. I think all mxtx novels have worlds that are explicitly unkind. And for svsss, sj is very much the embodiment of that pervasive cruelty. Both victim and abuser, the cycle of violence wearing human skin. Load bearing world building element, rather than chatacter. What am i saying. Take my phone away.