This. This Is A Banger If You're A Cryptid Bitch Like Me Fuck Me Up Cosmo Sheldrake.

i hate it when i cant even write a poem about something because its too obvious. like in the airbnb i was at i guess it used to be a kids room cause you could see the imprint of one little glow in the dark star that had been missed and painted over in landlord white. like that's a poem already what's the point

i'm the goblin who eats the books when you put them in the return slot at the library. every book you've ever checked out has been a forgery i typed out from memory and printed on the xerox machine and put back into circulation. i've written more books than james patterson

I'm tired

Just give me fangs and claws already

WHAT IS TAKING SO LONG ??

cross tagging is so annoying !!!! like that's not what i want its something barely similar mostly and unrelated :((

cringe is so much fun why hate cringe

Hello, my name is Erik.

I’m a cat.

No, wait-

I’m your Phantom of the Litterbox.

me: you're the only one that truly gets me

the raccoon stuck upside down under my porch:

[ ID: tweet by @/lysihtea reading “I’m genderless. I’m full of gender. I’m a malewife. I’m a biblically accurate angel. I’m a pop idol. I’m the fourth incarnation of god. I’m a convicted criminal. I can never die.” ]