They Should've Let The Nice Lizard Guy Stay With O'brien And Keiko

My issue with writing Julian POV is that I don’t think Julian is actually self-aware enough to realise how mind-blowingly attracted to Garak he actually is, no.

I think he would be in denial about it conciously, because Garak is a dangerous Cardassian who may or may not be a spy. Julian would filter his attraction through whatever justifications he can for why he’s not ~really~ attracted to him. (While blushing and being flustered by Garak’s overt attraction and flirting back like his life depends on it for reasons he will conveniently brush over in his head.)

But you see, I cannot conceive that anyone could ever, ever look at Garak and not immediately be overcome with lust that makes them dizzy. I can’t imagine having someone who looks like that approach so blatantly flirty and not just immediately following them back to their store to do whatever the fuck they tell you for as long as they want.

So it’s very hard for me to write Julian not being immediately on his knees for Garak because it baffles me that he didn’t just throw himself at Garak over the table in that replimat to begin with.

Maybe it’s my bizarre taste in men talking but how did this scene not end with Julian following him back to his store and being like “Yes, sir, what do you want to do with me, sir”.

the lizard and the twink compel me. not just because of the chemistry and the drama and the banter

we have middle aged paranoid trauma queen. he's bitchy and mean and so so sad. he loves fashion and gardening and bombs. his father was reptile himmler. he was groomed to be a killer. he's sentimental and unable to be sincere. he tortured people until he couldn't stomach it anymore. he had a drug addiction that almost killed him. he's pathetic and a little creepy

we also have pretty boy himbo supergenius. he's kind and silly and so so angry. he loves tennis and playing dress-up and medical malpractice. he is dr. Frankenstein (on request only). he's idealistic and unable to live up to his own morals. he keeps dating his patients. he tortured a dying man with a mind probe. he was designed to be a legacy. he's horny and a little desperate

and you'd think they'd be an explosion of terror when they're together, but no. it implodes and fizzles out. they eat chocolates and discuss Shakespeare insincerely and probably cuddle. they just enjoy each other's company

they're still toxic and dysfunctional and a little off-putting to be around. they are everyone else's problem. they're dangerous tools to be wielded by others. but when they're together, they even each other out. and they just get to dysfunctionally function.

and I think that's beautiful

I imagine when Julian gets bored he'll go track down Miles in the Jefferies tubes and bother him. this has absolutely led to several incidents where Miles is up to his elbows in circuitry and Julian suddenly pops in upside down from an access above him like "hi Miles :)" and Miles jumps so hard he hits his head on the tube's ceiling

still playing around with some sort of lower-light-level coloring. ehhh. anyway enjoy your *neeeyoooooowww* star trek erotica

"You made me into a better person, and now here I am without you, feeling incomplete. But in completely unrelated news, you're always welcome to come spend time with me."

What Garak says at the end of ASIT vs what he means:

"I'm an unfinished man" - please come help finish me

"you would never judge me as harshly as I judge myself, you would never deny me opportunity of a second chance" - you saved me, any good I do is because of you

"I'm getting on with my life" - I wish you were here

"you're always welcome, doctor" - I love you I miss you I love you I love you I miss you I love you I trust you I miss you I love you I love you I love you I love you I love you

1x15 - If Wishes Were Horses

A recent commission of Worf’s son, Alexander Rozhenko, in a custom Starfleet uniform that reflects his Cossack heritage ✨

As someone with Tatar Cossack roots myself, this was such a blast to work on! I love when commissions let me get creative with all the details :)

Commissions are now open indefinitely, btw, so feel free to reach out if you’ve got an idea you’d like to bring to life!

This version is downscaled and watermarked at the client’s request. Please don’t copy to other sites.

Watching Picard s3 so spoilers underneath but man I had to pause this and shout to my empty house

THAT WAS NOT FUCKING STARFLEET THAT WAS JULIAN FUCKING BASHIR AND YOU ARE COWARDS FOR NOT MENTIONING HIM

After all he went through to make that fucking cure don't you dare give Starfleet get the credit for Julian and Odo's empathy

I love garashir because it's a "I love every part of you despite myself" type of situation. It's a "I know I shouldn't but you've carved a hole in my heart and made it a home" type of longing. It's about loving and hating yourself for it and finding yourself a little more whole despite yourself and healing from the childhood trauma you couldn't even bring yourself to recognise at the time because someone had the gaul to say you deserved better without even opening their mouth