the alien race has come to steal your bitches and domesticate your raccoons
68 posts
Latest Posts by stoicjewel - Page 2
... Ford would always be a star. Always. He burned bright like a frame, shining his intellect and determination everywhere he went like sun rays on earth. He was a man who went places, who worked his ass off for what he wanted. He was a man who could create a new galaxy with his stardust, and light the way to a beautiful future.
... But stars don't seem to notice people admiring them, do they? They just continue forward, barreling through the earth's atmosphere and shining through the darkness with saving light, even miles, hell LIGHT-YEARS away.
They don't notice the dirt on earth, staring at them with caring eyes. They don't recognize the rock and land, despite being made from the same stardust. If anything, earth is a nuisance. Only there to watch the stars die and burn, thinking that it looked beautiful against the loneliness of the sky at night. Comforting, to watch a fire die out.
... Maybe Stan was like the earth in that way. Hopeless to watch as Ford was destroyed by his own reckless actions. Watch as his brother started to grow tired of him. Watch as he squeezed Ford too tight, too close, and accidentally forced him to burn away forever.
... Maybe Ford really was like a star. And Stan was just the dirt of the earth, admiring something that would never appreciate his existence in return.
“sorry i can’t come out, i have plans”
the plans:
DIGITAL ARTISTS IM CURIOUS
please reblog for sample etc etc <333
This stupid fucking au has had me in a chokehold, the voices told me I HAD to draw it-
Credits to @babyblankyerror and @aroace-get-out-of-my-face for the creation/ concept of the au
On their trips around the world looking for creatures,
Context:
1 - Ford is attracted (not that way; I mean, maybe) to anything dangerous, and will ask anything questions. Stan has a sense of self preservation and was rightfully afraid of the 7 foot faceless man in the forest.
2 - Dipper or Mabel had a creepypasta phase, and they told Ford all about creepypastas and Slenderman. Vaguely knowing who he was already, they ran before shit could go down.
3 - Again, Ford's curiosity and lack of self-preservation getting him in dumb situations. Stan saving the day as normal. Ford was damn near close to a dangerous incident.
4 - Lame.
AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!! AAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AHHHH!!!! WHAT GHE FUCK AAAAAAAAHAHHHAHHHHHH !!!!!!!! AHHHHHH WHAT THE FUCK AAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!! AHHHH!!!
The drunk animation has been completed! Its not as clean as I would like it to be, but here we are anyways
Drunk by The Living Tombstone
I know it's premature, but I wanted to contribute to @candycatfalls "Ford gets held down day" because I finished it this morning
First draft that I ended up hating under the cut if ya wanna look
Yeahhh, Stanley would DEFINITELY not be good at sleeping. Even without all the trauma, I feel like he wouldn't be very good at sleeping cause his mind constantly races.
I mean, Bill mentioned how he had amazing control over his mindscape, and when the kids came in, his mindscape was PACKED with shit while Ford simply had a field. I know for a FACT he'd stay up for hours simply thinking even if he's not the "smart" twin.
I know a lot of ppl talk about Ford’s fucked up sleeping schedule but we are missing out on both of the sea Grunkles having absurd sleeping schedules.
You’re telling me, Stanley Danley Pines, a man who had a day job of performing, watching over the kids, and having the night job of having to figure out complex equations, having to take up mechanics to re build the portal and a tracking device to find where Ford is theoretically in the multiverse would be have the best sleeping schedule?!
Mans probably taking random ass naps during the daytime. Neither of the brother have proper sleep schedules.
Oh you've given me a reason to talk about the Stan twins and sleeping, you're going to regret this
Between the two of them, I am of the controversial opinion that its STAN who doesn't sleep.
Ford knows the value of sleep. He spent however long avoiding sleep as a LIFE OR DEATH type situation (Bill) and THEN spent 30 years in the multiverse in constant danger sleeping only when he could. Ford has had a terrible relationship with sleeping for forever, even when he was a teen, desperate to prove himself, he wasn't sleeping in order to study and read.
Which is WHY, retired Ford? Fucking LOVES to sleep.
Bill is gone. He's on a boat, safe, with his brother by his side and all the food, medical supplies, and resources he could ever need or want, studying anomalies on what is basically a never ending vacation. All this to say, FORD takes naps. He takes naps in bed, at all hours. He takes naps on couches, on chairs, on the desk, sitting upright in kitchen stools, Ford takes naps in the car, no matter what car, whatever. If the place is VAUGLY comfortable and his brother is nearby, Ford is out like a light. The man makes napping an OLYMPIC LEVEL SPORT and he wins it like everything else. The amount of sleep he gets is something to aspire to.
STAN on the other hand. Is the opposite. His sleep was not a constant pull towards factors he could not control, his sleep schedule is as solid as stone and as unending as steel.
It's just TERRIBLE.
Stan runs, fully functional and his ultimate cheery (grumpy) self, on MAXIMUM three hours of sleep a night. 10 years of rigorous sleep schedule to move the car he's sleeping in so he doesn't get his window knocked on by police. Top THAT with 30 years of running the shop during the day, and spending ALL NIGHTS EVERY NIGHT working on the portal, means that Stan's body has given up the fight of demanding more sleep and just thrown in the towel, and Stan gets by with basically nothing
This is, predictably, SUPER GODDAMN UNHEALTHY.
When Ford gets back, Stan sort of. Doesn't know what to do with himself. He's awake, no matter of tossing and turning really matters, he's just. Perfectly fine being alive at 2 in the morning
After the memory gun, Ford is VERY CONCERNED by this behavior, CONVINCED that the not sleeping thing is a side effect. It isn't until Stan gets all his memories back (and after Stan yells at him for hovering) that Ford internalizes that Stan really. Just. Doesn't sleep.
(He learns the reasons for it and has a whole ADDITIONAL guilt spiral on top of the Bill cipher/memory gun one. Stan has to actually wrestle him into the idea that he loves him anyway)
Que Stanford Pines Ultimate Plan to get Stan to sleep more.
Hes a doctor twelve times over, surely this will be easy.
ERR WRONG. Stan is a hard nut to Crack.
Super comfortable bed? No change. Better pillows? Ultra soft blankets? Nope. Weighted blankets? Stan feels too constricted, opposite effect. Darkened bedroom space? Too dark. Nightlight? The blue light makes them BOTH have night terrors. Sleep aids like sleeping pills or dummies? Stan compares them to the drugs the mental institution gave him and Ford hucks them into the ocean.
Stan's BATSHIT sleep schedule is a constant battle Ford has to fight, but by god is he going to win. Eventually.
OH SUGAR HONEY ICED TEA-
Some fanart I made of a scene from this fic
https://archiveofourown.org/works/63688312/chapters/163264585
Ford is a freak, yes, yes, we've all heard that before your honor.
But who out here will write a fic that lets Stanley live out one of his dreams huh?!
Tate blabbing off to one of fiddlefords coworkers
Inspired by @scurvyboy with the post here
mcgucket getting home from a swinger party at 2 in the morning after doing copious amounts of coke trying to act normal circa 1979: hey there squirt what are you doing up?
yes thank you for putting the idea in my head that tate knew about his unfaithfulness the whole time but was told to keep it a secret
Ford and dipper doing some homework, when Mabel walks in with some sweet beats.
Friendly fire, whoopsies
family therapeutic dream demon beatdown tonight
Okay well sorry i died in ur bathroom get over it
I feel like even if it didn't have side effects per say, he would still get addicted to it.
I mean, it's a magical brain device that makes you forget every little bad thing that happened to you. Sure, no trauma, but it also means no growth or development. If that memory gun worked as intended, he would just remain stagnant.
A coward who chose the easy way out instead of putting his big boy boots on and growing a damn spine. (I love fiddleford, but he is kinda a pussy sometimes)
Day 42
What if the memory gun worked perfectly as intended without any side effects or sanity-damaging consequences?
Submitted by @be-gay-cause-crime
Some old men getting snuggly on the couch
From my fic https://archiveofourown.org/works/63352036?view_adult=true
Here's some sketches from my latest fic
https://archiveofourown.org/works/64049332?view_adult=true
Also, the cross-dressing Stan design belongs to @scurvyboy with that build a bear sketch, it was just so perfect, no notes, I can't beat perfection
More bored drawings lol
References under the cut
How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?
As much wood as it would take to chuck at your mom and steal your bitches for the alien takeover.