This Is Why Z Isn’t A Hero In-game As Much Versus In Outside Of Game RP...I Have No Desire To Pull

Dream Journal 9

He said “what if you’re dreaming of someone you used to be?”  And the damn scar burned like it knew!

What if it’s not someone I used to be     What if it’s someone she was?

I need to find a way to Idylshire, for the library there.  Or Ishgard, to research her house

Seven hells, I hope this gives me answers…

Reblog this.

If you do not care what gender your roleplay partner identify themselves as.

Be they male, female, trans, or whatever else is out there.

If you are a friend, you are a friend. If we ship our muses together, we ship the heck out of our muses. I don’t care if you are a female playing male, a male playing female or whatever is inbetween.

You are precious no matter what you are. And I love you.

Guilty or Innocent: Anafenza Ejinn

Asked someone to marry you?

“Well, no.  I haven’t really had anyone that close.  There was a time I thought maybe Kiratai would be the one I’d wind up with but...I’m not even sure that’s an option.  Or if I really want to, either, I guess?  I guess that matters, too.”

Kissed one of your friends?

“On the cheek?  Plenty.  Kissed like lovers?  No.  No one.”

Danced on a table in a bar / tavern?

“I think I did that one time in Ul’dah.  But it was during the end shift at the cafe and we were cleaning up.  Um...don’t tell Miss Sasari.”

Ever told a lie?

“Plenty.  I feel like I still have to lie.  Hells, I think I have to lie to myself just to justify waking up most mornings now.  ‘It’s important that I’m there.’  I dunno.”

Had feelings for someone you can’t have?

She sighs and nods.  “Twice.  She abandoned me when she left the Tower and I haven’t heard from her in a long time.  He...”  She shakes her head again.  “Let’s not talk about it.  It’s been awful enough.”

Ever kissed someone of the same sex?

“I’m still assuming this is as lovers so...no.  I have not.  I think I would have liked to, once, but...nah.”

Kissed a picture?

She shakes her head in confusion.  “Do people do that?  Why?  Next you’ll tell me people try swiving pictures, too.  Wait...they do?”

Slept until 5pm?

“Gods, yes.  When I’m sick mostly, but there were days in the other world when I had to stay awake for bloody days on end to play games with the Pixies...when I finally convinced them to see who could sleep the longest I’d sleep that late.  Funny, I still never beat them in those games, either...”

Worked at a fast food chain / restaurant?

“I suppose the Cafe would count for that, so yeah.  I can cook, I can bake, I can serve tables.  It was fun.  A lot of fun.  I enjoy working for Miss Sasari and learning from her.”

Stolen something?

“Probably?  If I did it was years ago; I haven’t stolen anything in recent memory.  Cookies in the kitchen don’t count.  Especially if you help bake them.”

Been fired from a job?

She stiffens and grumbles, then nods with a huff.  “Yeah.  It was horrible.  Miss Sasari just left a note for me an’ Kiratai, said we were no longer needed by the Caravan.  No reason why just...done.”  She shakes her head.  “Sasari came back and I asked her why she did it.  She never told me.  No one tells me anything.  But she was back and offered me my job back, so I took it.  It still hurt.  It wasn’t just losing a job...I lost my family.  And the timing of it too just...”  She shakes her head sadly.  “Next.”

Done something you regret?

She closes her eyes and nods, chuckling humorlessly.  “Yeah.  Actually telling people what I’m feeling.  Didn’t do me any good.  No one wants to hear it anyway.  So now I get to lie to them and myself.”  She puts on (an almost) genuine smile.

Laughed until something you were drinking came out of your nose?

“Oh gods, yes!  Too many times to count, but milk?  Uggh...that was never fun.  It always seems to be milk.”

Caught a snowflake on your tongue?

She pauses, tilting her head.  “I...have never tried that before.  Can you do that?  I should try that the next time I am in Ishgard!”

Sat on a rooftop?

“Uh, yes?  It’s not that hard to do, it’s a great vantage point, and in the afternoon it’s a great place for sunning after a swim.”

Kissed someone you shouldn’t have?

She shakes her head.  “I thought we already answered the kissing questions?”

Sang in the shower?

She laughs.  “I mean...no?  The few times I’ve taken a shower were in and out quickly.  Bathing, I mean...I’ve hummed a song now and then, I suppose?”

Been pushed into a body of water with all your clothes on?

"Uh...yeah.  That’s not that weird in my tribe.  We do that all the time when we’re kids.  It’s a large reason why I don’t really enjoy wearing clothes - they’re hard to swim in.”

Shaved your head?

She shakes her head.  “No way.  Why would I do that?"

Made a boyfriend / girlfriend cry?

"That would probably require a boyfriend or girlfriend first so...no.”

Shot a gun?

"I have not, but I do want to learn.  I’m not sure if Sasari or Mercer would still teach me, but I would like to learn.”

Still loved someone you shouldn’t?

She hangs her head.  “Probably easier to say that I don’t love them anymore.  Those bridges were taken out by the floods and even if they are rebuilt...no.  I don’t love any of them anymore.”  She sighs, before looking up.

Have / had a tattoo?

She smiles a little and shrugs.  “Thought about it, when Llaine went and adopted me into her family.  But she left before I could do it.”

Liked someone, but will never tell who?

“My problem was I did tell him.  Now?  I don’t think I’d tell a soul anymore.”

Been too honest?

"Yep.  And look at all the good it’s done for me.”

Ruined a surprise?

“I...don’t think so?  I’m usually good about keeping a secret.”

Been told that you’re beautiful by someone who totally meant what they said?

She bites her lip and sighs, looking away.  “No.  No, I haven’t.  I wouldn’t know what that’s like.”  She turns back and smiles.  “Oh well.”

Stalked someone?

She shakes her head.  “No.  Don’t know why I would.”

Thought about murder?

“Certainly.  Plenty of times.  I’ve even done it.  It’s why it confuses me so much and makes me so angry when I’m asking for restraint and everyone looks at me like I’m the naive one that needs to learn better.”

How about mass murder?

"Um...no.  Definitely not.”

Cheated on someone?

She shakes her head.  “No.  No one I could cheat on anyway.”

Gotten so angry that you cried?

“Plenty.  More than I ever cared to.  Not sure I’m done, either.”

Tried to stay away from someone for their own good?

She shakes her head.  “Not even for my own good.  I probably should have tried.  I didn’t know I needed to.  It was stupid.  I know better now.”

Thoughts about suicide?

She looks away silently, then shakes her head.  “I’d rather not...start telling the truth now.”

Had a girlfriend / boyfriend?

“No.  Would have liked to.  Don’t think I will.”

Gotten totally drunk during a holiday?

She finally laughs.  “Sure.  Plenty of reasons to celebrate in the Caravan, and then here for all the holidays Eorzeans celebrate...it’s fun.” Tagged by:  @mercermachines​ :)  Thanks for the tag! Tagging: @little-purple-thundercloud​; @steelcarbuncle​; @eightswordsparrow​; and of course anyone else (if anyone else even reads this blog, lol) :)

Conflux, Pt. 2

Anafenza awoke with a start. She blinked her eyes, looking around in confusion.  She wasn’t in her bed – the fact that she was dry gave that fact away, since she’d long ago submerged her cot in the tub to sleep in.  She slowly sat up, taking in her surroundings.

She could hear a steady drip from overhead, echoing through the space she was in.  Stalagmites and stalactites filled her view, so she knew immediately she was in a cave of sorts.  Turning her head more she saw and recognized a sight that made her think she was still dreaming.  Shrouded in darkness, a large tree choked out by a blood-red vine that disappeared among the branches.

“Jessika’s tree,” she murmured, half-asleep still.  “Am I still dreaming?”

“If you are, this is one helluva weird dream,” came a voice beside her.  Ana jumped, whipping her head around.  A blue-skinned woman sat up, blinking sleepily.  Her face was speckled with bright-blue spots, and her long blue hair fell down behind her and onto the ground.  She looked around, and Ana could see her pointed ears for a moment, reminding her of an elezen.  Though, this woman didn’t have the same lankiness to her; if anything, she was a blue hyur with pointed ears.  Yet, Ana thought, she seemed familiar…

“Where are we,” she asked, looking at Ana again.  “And why are you naked?”

Anafenza sighed and rolled her eyes.  “I’m always naked.  You still have clothes on, don’t worry.”

The other woman looked down and back up, nodding, then looked back around the space.  “Fair.  What is this place?”

“I’ve only ever seen it in my dreams,” Ana admitted, still looking around.  “I thought the tree represented my soul, and the vine was…a curse I had inherited.”

The blue woman’s eyes widened, and she gave a low whistle as she looked at the tree.

The two women sat in silence, not sure what to do next, not sure if they were dreaming or if this was real. Finally, Ana cleared her throat.

“Anafenza.”

The blue woman turned and looked at her in confusion.  “I beg your pardon?”

“My name,” she replied. “I’m Anafenza.  Or just Ana.”

The blue woman nodded in acknowledgement, then offered a hand to Ana.  “Jess.  Jessica St. Peter, but you can call me –“

“Jessiy,” came a third voice, and the two women turned to look as a third woman stepped from behind the tree.  Ana gasped – she was wearing black pants and a black top, the shoulders of which were white. A familiar arrow-shaped pendant was attached to her chest.  But most striking was her resemblance to Jessica: blue skin, bright blue spots, blue hair and eyes.  If not for the noticeable age difference, Ana would have guessed they were twins.

Jessica noticed the similarity too and gasped.  “How…who…who are you?”

The third woman took a breath, offering a small smile.  “Commander Jessica St. Peter.”

Anafenza and the first Jessica both went wide-eyed.  The second Jessica shrugged.

Finally, the first Jessica – the younger of the two – coughed a laugh.  “Well…if we’re not dreaming…what the hell is going on?”

Conflux, Pt. 6

“Is that…is that your starship?” Stormy asked, her voice giddy as she clapped her hands despite their circumstances.

The Commander nodded with a small smirk.  “Yeah, she can hear us.  That’s good…”

Anafenza tilted her head in confusion at this.  While the Commander tried her communicator again, she turned to Stormy.  “’She’ can hear us?  That sounded like a man on the other side?”

“She meant the ship can hear us.  Ships are always girls.”

“Ships…are always girls.” Anafenza blinked a few times but shrugged.  “I assume this is an Earth thing?”

Stormy shrugged.  “I suppose it is.  Sorry if that’s confusing.”

The Commander groaned in frustration.  “There’s too much interference here, and we can’t get far enough away from the tree to cut through.”

The other two women turned to look.  Sure enough, as the Commander had implied, the cavern was smaller now, an odd gray nothingness taking the place of the stone walls around them.

Stormy snapped her fingers, then beckoned for the badge.  “Gimme.”  The Commander and Anafenza hesitated, not understanding what she meant.  Stormy huffed, beckoning for the device again.  “It’s simple, right?  How do you cut through interference if you can’t build a better transmitter?”

The Commander squinted, her thoughts racing.  “Change the frequency?”  When the other woman simply nodded, as if coaxing her to keep trying, the Commander shrugged and shook her head.  “Um, more power? I don’t –“

Stormy snapped her fingers again and grinned, interrupting.  “More power!” She held the device in her hand, and Anafenza saw threads of electricity start to wrap around her arm, snapping and crackling as the woman manipulated the environment around them.  As she watched, a thick fog began to form above them.

Stormy looked up to the Commander.  “Ready?” When the other woman nodded, Stormy grinned.  “Here we go!” She concentrated a burst of electricity right into the device, then tapped it, eliciting the chirp again.

The Commander practically leapt forward, enthralled by the woman’s powers and forgetting for a moment to speak once the device was activated.  “St. Peter to Rafale!  How do you hear us now?”

There was a curse on the other end of the transmission.  “Prophets! LOUD and clear, Commander, how do you read?”

“Same, Rafale! I’m trapped in a collapsing pocket dimension with two other people, are you able to locate us with the signal from my commbadge and my tricorder?”

“Standby…”  There were more voices in the background now, as more people began to talk over one another.  Anafenza struggled to hear them all, until finally the first man came back onto the channel.  “We’re locked onto the tricorder now, but there is still a large amount of interference. Whatever you labeled it when you scanned it – ‘aether?’ – it’s masking your signal.  Sensors are picking up three faint life signs but they’re all registering as you.”

The Commander shook her head.  “Yeah, it’s a long story, but you’re picking the three of us up just fine.  You can’t transport through the interference?”

“We’re having trouble getting a positive lock…”

Anafenza shrieked then, pointing.  “Jess, look!”

Both women looked up, then to where the auri was pointing.  The Commander gasped.  “Rafale, we have a problem!  The dimension is collapsing faster than before!”

A female voice broke through then.  “I just picked up a massive disturbance in your tricorder readings, Commander!  The link we created here is punching a hole through your dimension and causing it to destabilize at an exponentially faster rate.”

“You can’t get a lock, Nizeri?”

“Negative; M’Ral is coming up with a plan but we can’t make it happen in the next ten seconds. Cut power; use your tricorder to send data bursts.  We’ll send you a message when we have a good idea what to do on our end.  I’m sorry, ma’am!”

The Commander looked at Stormy, then swatted the communicator badge out of her sparking hand.

The grey Nothingness slowed its progress consuming the cavern, and the women all let out the collective breath they’d been holding.  Stormy shook her head.  “Now what?”

Anafenza spoke up instead, certain of the answer.  “We come up with a way to get out of here.”

The Commander nodded. “Boosting the signal definitely helped, but we need a quick solution.  While they work on a way to lock onto us, it would help to make it easier for them.”

“A beacon of some sort,” Stormy said, and the Commander nodded.

Anafenza looked at the other women.  “If the aether is causing the interference, what if we gave your ship a way to better navigate the flow of it to find us?”

“Not just a beacon, but a map?”  The Commander tapped her chin and nodded.  “How would we do that?”

“My linkpearl.” Anafenza brought her hand up to her horn, feeling for the small jewel embedded there.  “It uses the flow of aether to communicate; your ship could use the flow the linkpearl uses to break through the conflicting aether here and find us easier.”

“That just might work,” the Commander said.  “Alright…let’s get to work, ladies.”

Same for the Au Ra though. Watch out for the slap...especially us with the alligator tails, you might go flying...

what if touching a miqo’te’s tail was like an actual cat where sometimes they dig it sometimes they don’t particularly care and sometimes they turn around and hiss and slap you

Magus Musings - Dreams

It was the cavern again…

Anafenza turned her head left, then right. The same cavern she had been trapped in, years ago, with those reflections of the woman she’d killed. Only this time, she was alone.

She felt herself, before looking down. Nothing. No clothes, no tools. She tilted her head – dark splotches stained her grey skin where she had felt herself. She brought her hands up.

Blood. The scent of it hit her like a sack of popotoes before she even registered it with her eyes. She checked herself again, then gasped.

They were lying there, at her feet again. The duskwight, Jessika (or whatever the hells her name actually was), was on her back, her half-petrified face smashed and obliterated leaving just her mouth recognizable, open in a silenced scream of shock and pain.

The pale auri with the daggers – was it Nai, was that her name? – was bent over a second body, her hands desperately pressed against a third woman’s neck. She was screaming for help.

The third woman…

Anafenza covered her mouth, stopping a sob. Lyta was on her back, eyes wide in horror, struggling to breathe. Her mouth foamed with spit and blood, dripping down and mixing with her tears. She slowly turned her head, her eyes locked with Anafenza’s…

“You killed me.” Her voice was sharp and clear, right next to Anafenza’s horn, and she turned quickly to see Lyta standing next to her, blood trailing down her chest from the wound across her neck. Anafenza took a step back.

“You killed me,” she said again, accusingly.

“No!” Anafenza shook her head. “You didn’t die! They saved you! They stopped me, this curse stopped me! You lived!”

“You killed me,” she said again, then opened her arms wide. “Me and the rest of them. Their blood is on you, Aenc Tyr.”

Anafenza looked around the cavern again and gasped. Bodies littered the floor. Stalagmites and stalactites were bodies, skewered to the ground or hanging from the ceiling. Friends and family. Strangers. All around her.

And she stood in the center of it all, glowing dark and ominous, a vine creeping up her body and wrapping around her, choking the life from her as her branches wilted, leaves fell…

 Anafenza woke up, splashing and sputtering in her tub. Once she had found her breath she began to sob, laying her head on the side of the tub and just cried…

 ((Featuring @little-purple-thundercloud​))

Ok...maybe not presently since she’s in a bit of peril, but we’ll do this for after the impending doom (assuming they survive), how about that?  lol

Send a 💝 and my Muse will ramble on about how they presently feel about yours.

“I want you to know that it is not always easy to love me. That sometimes my chest is a field full of landmines, and where you went last night, you can’t go tomorrow. There is no manual, there is no road map, no help line you can call; my body does not come with instructions, and sometimes even I don’t know what to do with it. This cannot be easy. But still, you touch me anyway.”

— Ivan E. Coyote (via quotemadness)

Bad Habits!

Bold what bad habits apply to your muse.

Swearing | Fingernail chewing | Slouching | Slurring | Drinking | Smoking | Drugs | Impulse decisions | Obsessive Linkpearl checking | Bad time management | Slang | Poor grammar | Overworking | Slacking off | Over sleeping | Under sleeping | Skin picking | Poor eye contact | Lying | Rambling | Skipping breakfast | Junk food | Self criticism | Procrastinating | Day dreaming | Forgetful | Envious | Jealous | Gossiper | Drama whore | Secret teller | Spitting | Lip licking | Lip chewing | Drinking from the bottle | Yelling | Poor hygiene | Impatient | Hot headed | Biased | Complaining | Scab picking | Cheek biting | Teeth gnashing | Stealing | Scamming | Speeding | Hair pulling | Large ego | Eavesdropping | Exaggerating | Fidgeting | Free loading | Littering | One-Upping | Whining | Borrowing without returning | Unnecessary Aggression | Talking during performances | Plagiarism | Copying | Glaring | Spacing out | Ignoring | Over critical | Messy | Hateful | Overly Prideful |

Thanks for the poke, @little-purple-thundercloud! :)