Ana’s eyes were glued shut, her expression pained as she dreamt.
Dreaming, of late, had been a whole new level of fantasy for Anafenza of the Ejinn. Some nights she was in her own memories, which was nothing out of the ordinary. Some nights, she was in front of the dark tree and hearing the mournful, enraged notes of the Dragonsong – she’d started having these dreams after she’d killed the elezen Jessika while she was brainwashed (but that is a long story for another day). But now, her dreams began to bleed into the wondrous: she’d dreamt she was flying, calling wind and rain and it obeyed her! Or that she was commanding a group of people bustling around some sort of control center, the floor shaking beneath them as explosions rocked them and she stared out at an endless sea of night. She’d even had a few where she and the other two “hers” interacted with one another, before she was jolted awake.
And then the dreams of everlasting light – a field of pink flowers, with child-like giggles floating on the breeze around her. There was no warmth, no sun in the sky – just light glaring down upon her, and voices.
“Aenc tyr,” they’d say. And another, “Open the gate.”
But this…this dream was new. It was a memory, but not her memory. As Anafenza looked around the small room as she paused her frantic packing, she knew it was not her own. The simple wood hut; the longbow leaning against the wall by the door; the roiling sky, filled with the great red light of the falling moon...
The falling moon… She quickly went to the window to look up and gasped. She had seen Dalamud in the sky as it fell years ago when she was still living in Othard, and her people had seen it as an ill omen.
"Quickly, Jessielle, quickly! Get your bow, come, come!"
Ana turned around, confused, before moving to the satchel of personal effects on the bed, nearly crammed full of trinkets and clothes she was trying to protect. Her family had finished ensuring the last of the villagers who were seeking shelter were in the catacombs, Anafenza thought, though she wasn’t sure how she knew this.
Once the last few villagers trickled in, the family returned to their own home to prepare. She assumed it was to gather what they could and hide as well, so she was in her private room, gathering mementos of her life, when her father came barging into her room, shouting her given name.
Anafenza froze, realizing the knowledge she’d just come to know. Father? Jessielle? These are Jessika’s memories! But why…am I in them?
There was a loud crack outside, and Ana and Jessika’s father turned to see, out the window, a plume of fire where a chunk of the moon had fallen. "Come Jessielle...there is not much time," he said, his crisp and proper Ishgardian words flowing gracefully out, despite the urgency.
"Père, what..." She heard herself saying, before finally looked at him, noticing the man was clothed in heavy, black leather armor, armored gauntlets with intricate gold and blood-red patterns winding over them. His legs were clad in armor as well, the same gold and red filigree snaking up the armor like ivy. "Père, what are you wearing?"
Her father – Jessika’s father – rolled his eyes and, picking up her bow from near the door with one hand, grabbed her arm with the other and pulled her out of the room. "There is no time to explain. Come, come!"
He pulled her through the house and outside, his armored fingers digging deep into Ana’s wrist. She squirmed a little, biting her lip to keep from yelling at him as she stumbled along behind as he guided her to the center of the small village.
"Jacemont, what took you so long? The time is approaching!"
Jacemont Saphir finally let go of Anafenza’s wrist, approaching the woman waiting for them there. She wore long, flowing robes of dark fabric, completely black except for a blood-red design up the right side. It wound up from the hem of the robes to the collar - an intricate, winding design like ivy, with leaves and thorns. She turned her head to look at them, her eyes cold and dark. "Jessielle, what were you doing?"
Before she knew what she was doing, Anafenza dipped her head in deference. "Mère," she greeted her, realizing this was Jessika’s mother. "I was gathering my things...why aren't we in the catacombs? What are you and Père doing out here?" She motioned to the descending moon, meteorites flying off it and impacting the ground in the distance. "We need to take shelter!" Anafenza looked around, realizing she wasn’t in control. She was watching the memory unfold, taking the role of Jessika in it. Even with the knowledge that she was in a dream, she couldn’t take control and change the course of it.
The mother – Raechelle, Anafenza realized was her name – shook her head ever so slightly and turned back to look at Dalamud. "We are sheltering. Jacemont, stand with me. Jessielle, come here." She motioned to her left and right sides; Jacemont stood to his wife's left, looking up at the sky. "Something is happening."
As she said the words, there was a loud crack, and the three of them watched as Dalamud began to fracture. Fire peeked out through the fissures, and enormous wings appeared at the top of the hulk. The surface of the moon roiled and shook.
"Gods preserve," Jacemont whispered, his eyes wide in horror.
Raechelle reached behind her, her hand grasping at the air behind her head. She raised her arm, and Anafenza watched in awe as woman lifted a large, black sword with gold-filigree into the air, pulling it out of thin air. Shadows and darkness seemed to pour out of it and fall off it, like fog off of an ice crystal. She spun the blade down and screamed, thrusting the sword into the ground.
There was deafening boom, and Ana fell backward as the moon was blasted apart, fragments flying into the ground with enough force that it shook all around them. A few homes were ripped apart as fragments slammed into them, fire and debris exploding into the air. The ground shook, and Ana fully expected to feel fire consume her. She was going to die, she knew it...
So when, after a few more moments, she was still alive, Ana opened her eyes, feeling the memory of Jessika’s confusion even though she knew what she was going to see. She looked around and heard herself gasp.
Raechelle was holding the hilt of the sword still, gritting her teeth. All around them, extending out several meters, was a swirling cloud of black mist and smoke, shadows flying through the cloud around them with such speed that Anafenza couldn't get clear views of them. The cloud enclosed them and much of the village like a bubble, the outside just barely visible.
Jacemont cursed loudly. "It's a dragon!"
"It's not a dragon, it's a god," Raechelle corrected, gazing in equal horror as her husband. Ana clambered to her feet, watching as the beast - which took up much of the sky - began to fly quickly around, flares of fire shooting from its body and striking the ground, causing more earthquakes and explosions. It soared overhead with a scream, releasing a volley of fire at the village below. Far in Othard, she remembered seeing the moon drift below the horizon, but this…
This is the Calamity everyone speaks of. Kami, what hell…
"Jacemont! Now!" Raechelle screamed. Anfenza turned in time to see the man reach up and behind him. He clenched his hand and, in the same way as she had seen the woman, pulled a large sword out of nowhere, thrusting it into the ground as well. There was a pulse of energy that she felt push through her, and the bubble of shadows grew darker.
The beast's fire slammed into the shield, and Jessika's parents shouted in surprise, both of them faltering slightly, as if a great weight just landed on their shoulders, pushing them downward. They held onto the hilts of their swords, struggling to straighten back up.
Anafenza looked around, the memory of terror rising in her as Jessika watched. Another memory crept into her thoughts, an earlier time that she’d seen this happen, but she didn’t focus on it. Anafenza had seen this cloud of shadows before as well – the day she killed Jessika, it had exploded around her, swirling around and subduing Ana, as the curse fell upon the auri girl.
Raechelle shouted, and Ana looked up to see the dragon approaching again, circling back around for another indiscriminate attack on the land below. "Jessielle, we need you!"
Anafenza blinked in surprise. "What?! No! I...I don't know what's happening!"
Jacemont staggered again, falling to one knee but still holding onto his sword. "Your bow, child! Your bow!"
Ana shook her head, staring at the wooden longbow in her hands. "I don't...know what you want from me," she said, still confused, though the hairs on the back of her neck began to prickle.
"Strike the ground!" He called again, pulling himself back up to standing. "Strike the ground and defend your home! Your friends! Your family! Defend those you love, protect them from this!" He looked at her, and she noticed his eyes were pitch black, shadowy energy flaring out of them like two dark fires. "You know what to do, child! Now, stand with us!"
Anafenza looked at the two elezen, then back at the bow in her hands. She looked up, seeing fire rain down again. Panicking, she did what Jacemont told her, lifting the bow in the air and striking the one end of it to the ground.
Ana felt another pulse of energy radiate out, and the shield grew darker still, swirling faster and further out so that it protected most of the village. She felt as if her feet were rooted to the ground, and her hands locked in place, wrapped around her bow. Her vision darkened as she heard the fire slam into the shield, felt the impact of the fireballs on the shield as if a heavy hand were shoving her to the ground. She fell to one knee, her hands unable to release the bow, gasping for breath. The familiar sensation of being choked by the darkness came to her, the same choking she’d felt when Jessika had died. Her eyes were playing tricks on her: in one moment, she could see the bow clear as day, but in the next the weapon appeared like a great sword, similar to the ones the elezen were wielding.
Similar to the sword I’ve pulled from my aether, she realized, recognizing the weapon she’d come to know as “Bloodthorn.”
The attack continued for what felt like hours, or maybe it was only a few seconds. The three of them were screaming in defiance and pain as the ground shook around them.
Then, the world went dark.
♥ - What does ‘love’ mean to them?
♠ - What are they afraid of?
♦ - What is one thing about them that they are most proud of?
♣ - What is one thing that they find embarrassing? (About them, others, things in general)
★ - Do they prefer daytime or nighttime and why?
☾- Are they prone to nightmares or dreamless sleep?
☼ - Something that/Someone who makes them happy.
☁ - If they’re caught out in the rain how do they react?
♪ - Are they musically inclined?
♫ - What kind of music do they enjoy?
✓ - How do they react to praise?
✕ - How do they handle rejection?
☺ - Do they prefer sour or sweet treats?
❄ - Favourite season and why?
☮ - Do they have an idol or someone they look up to?
❤ - Do they have a love interest?
✖ - Who is someone they just cannot stand?
♔ - Do they value loyalty?
♕ - Do they trust easily?
☠ - How do they react to death?
🙋♀️
“We never believe we’re beautiful, no matter how many times we hear it. We never believe it until someone says it in the right way.”
— Francine Prose (via goodreadss)
Why is it, after all this time, I still hope for peace instead of violence? That woman said it best, how can i be so naive?
Because I very nearly met the end of a blade, and it wasnt my fault. I was hoping for peace that day too and it ended with a death. even With her blood on my hands I know i was not fully to blame
and i know this man was evil i could see it written all over his stupid little face and in his aura he had no remorse I know he was sincerely scared of us all but he wasn’t apologetic, not enough to change. But even despite that, he wasn’t armed. His goons had fled. He was no threat.
I fear so often that maybe we’re NOT in the right, not all the time. How are we any different from that man, from Garlemald, from nemesis, if we’re willing to put a man to the sword with little justice except our own? why do they think that just because we have such power that we have liberty to exercise it whenever we feel? I was scared tonight - everyone seemed ready to murder this man. for what reason?? he loaned money to one of ours and demanded payment back? and when HE decided payment wasn’t enough, now we execute him? Uldah has laws for his kind. it’s not complete anarchy there
I hoped he’d want to live. he made his choice, and i will not lose sleep tonight over the fact that he was cut down AFTER he tried attacking. But I fear I will lose sleep knowing I am sleeping so close to people i consider my family because i keep seeing this side of them that is no different than the people i tried to entreat for peace before.
they took control of my mind and had me try to kill Lyta for them. and I very nearly succeeded.
what will this “family” do to me when i oppose them again?
I just want to sleep sleep forever. drift off with the waves as they meet the shore where I lay...lie...gods i hate this language. nothing but words. words don’t fix people. i know i shouldnt feel this way but i have been so broken down and crumpled up that i dont know how to feel otherwise. and its all still my fault. im still the one to blame. Im still the one too selfish to pay attention to those around me how can I even begin to look at them and see their feelings and hurts when all I can see are mine. standing out in such sharp relief in front of me, as if the sun was pouring through an open window behind them so that all I could see was their forms. I can’t feel, I can’t think, I can’t hear anything in this pit. Im sorry. Im sorry Im not strong enough on my own. i hope Hipper’s solution...
The Fiery Moon ( @eightswordsparrow ), the River Knight ( @stormscream ), and a Wizard, looking for some research materials within the Gubal Library.
“It’s weird how there’s such a big section just for romance novels? And. That it’s so close to the historical records?”
i received this anon & i just want to make a point.
I do!
On the front page, the word “Diary” is crossed out and scribbled over, and written hastily above it are the words “dream journal”
“Keep a journal by your bed so when you wake up you can write down as much as you can remember.” Thats what she said, so thats what this is: a dream journal now. It was not working out well as a diary anyway so there is that too. And since the dreams have started to come more maybe this will be better. I can hardly remember much of them by the time I wake except that damned tree and the miasma
And more voices too! Female voices, and the same voice too but doing different things. And the song, always the song.
There is a long break, before more writing on the second half of the page, somewhat more sloppy and hastily written…
They were there again. In the dark miasma. The two voices had shadows too. One was standing pointing here and there and shouting. There was a noise like those sirens the Garleans use, and she said something about bringing up shields. I looked to the other side of the tree, and another shadow was sitting. She was crying; I could tell it was the same voice, but she seemed built different. There was a low rumble of thunder as well – it was raining while she cried. I don’t know what she was crying about.
You sometimes think you want to disappear, but all you really want is to be found.
Kid Cudi (via quotefeeling)