01/04/24 ☆○°•》♡

Vogue US // 1993

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 29/01/24

dear diary,

fear is such a weird thing? why do i care about what other people are doing and if i see them or if they perceive me,, i really shouldn't be having such limiting thoughts, i want to conquer all my social fears this week, i'm going to make it my goal.

today was very all over the place but i think it fell in place beautifully? even if it's not what i wanted. i think these days theres just comfort thinking in the air, as in how my clothes feel against my body or how the wind flows outside, the sound of the train station every morning, the squelchy noise my boots make every time i step on the pavement.. like that, is there a word for that? is it mindful thinking? i also want to focus on the present a lot this week.

my train ticket ended up declining this morning and for a moment it felt so humiliating but i then realised that it wasn't, i just had to put more money into my account and just move on, i now want to live like that. if it doesn't serve me i just move on with it.

i had mentoring today and it was so freeing to finally be able to discuss with a teacher why i struggle in certain lessons and how i can combat them,, now i just have to actual put that in practice

i also finally submitted a poetry piece into a college comp and im pretty proud of the piece ♡ i hope i have a chance of winning it but i also know that if i believe in myself i'll get the outcome that is most ideal

today was slightly anxiety inducing but mainly due to my own fears and self esteem, gives me something to work on~ i hope tommorow is a better day for myself.

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 08/02/24

all is not lost and grief is needed in order to heal.

ive been trying to make myself all put together and healed up when i havent even done the first step yet which is grieving, ive been putting it off for so long but the reality is that healing does not come without intense emotional releases and i had no idea that i was damaging myself by not allowing myself to process it all, now that i did that today it is very much tiring but its so much more better than staying in an anxious and low state all the time. all is well !! and i believe i will get better and love myself more each and everyday

its really hard to admit that i let someone treat me like i was less than and believed it but also the fact that i saw myself as less deserving, i dont want to be hateful at my past self so all i can do is love and let go no matter how long it takes to do so,, i'll def be sleeping with a clear mind and come to the acceptance of that pain

but i also finished my kuromi lego set today !! look it >

\♡3♡/ 16/02/24

i havent updated in a while !! but things are really starting to go my way and im grateful each step of the way~

what ive had on repeat recently :3 :

on saturday me and all my friends did a galentines party and it was so cute and fun and i really enjoyed it !! the cake was yummy (we wrote most boys suck on it) and we all had sm fun

(me in the back with my massive pink sweater and phone 😭😭)

and everyday since then ive just had a really nice fulfillment in my heart ive been working on my self concept too and even manifested a few things~ being grateful for a lot of things really is the answer i cannot believe how far gratitude has gotten me

ive also been working on being more spiritual ever since ive learnt about perception and its influence on the human mind and its been really peaceful so far,,

ive gone ahead and downloaded a bunch of games off of my cousin which resulted in me doing this the whole of yesterday :

i do plan on playing more and the rest of the franchise ofc 😁

thats ab it,, i wanna update weekly instead of everyday now i think its more doable for me

anyway i wish you resiliance, abundance, love and joy ♡♡

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 07/02/24

today i can safely say im grateful for everything and everyone that has come my way ♡ i was speaking to my friends a whole lot more today and felt the love all around, i love them so much !! i also worked up the courage to go to lesson today which is something i dont do often, my tiredness and anxiety gets the best of me but im glad i went today, it made me realise that maybe i do enjoy the things that i do, i cant wait for many more blessings to come my way, in fact havent they already? i'm def working on putting a diary entry up everyday 😭 ive got this !

however i know my days arent always sunshine and rainbows, i struggled a lot with unwanted thoughts today.. detachment does not come easy right now but i know it will be easy tommorow. let go and let god is something i now live by.

saweetie on meditation making you a pretty girl or boy ♡ I KNOW THATS RIGHT!!

8/5/25

okay fuck it we're starting this again

today i had a verbal shutdown for the first time IN PUBLIC and it was really awkward navigating it

i bought a chiikawa blind box, havent opened it yet tho

had this on repeat for an hour today

If you have Spotify reblog this and tag what your number one song on your “on repeat” playlist is.