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If yall are searching for blushydior's post of "how i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances" well someone copied it in a Google Doc but i don't remember who was it but anyways here it is.

Google Docs

How i manifested my dream life with extremely hard circumstances + how you can too ♡ | Written by Blushydior/Bambi

“Emotional abuse works like this: You are screamed at, and then, not knowing any better, you stand up for yourself. You think this is a way of being strong. You think this is a defense tactic.But this only provokes more screaming. Going silent provokes more screaming too, but usually it keeps the threats to the minimum. It keeps it just at screaming and not: a shove down the stairs, or order to pack your stuff and get out. So you learn how to go silent. How to play dead. How to cry without making a noise. How to swallow noise. How to wipe your cheeks, get out of the car, and go about your day. You learn. And when the screaming has stopped, when the two of you are in the car or out to dinner and they’re all smiles, all asking for favors, all questions, you are still hurt and annoyed and want to ask them, how? How can you speak to me like that? How can you pretend you did not say those things? How can you have forgotten? But you’ve learned. So you listen to, “Can I borrow your key”s and “how was your day”s and you play dead. You swallow the noise. And sometimes it doesn’t matter who is speaking to you, it doesn’t matter if they’re a friend, it doesn’t matter if their criticism is constructive, it doesn’t matter. You’ve learned. Any sort of speaking, any raising of the voice, any insult and you play dead.”

— Good Girl, Lora Mathis (via lora-mathis)

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its like that quote and i forgot who said it but they were like grief finds you in an empty room on a quiet day

Elton Glaser, from a poem titled “And In The Afternoons I Botanized,” featured in Parnassus

૮ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ა 07/02/24

today i can safely say im grateful for everything and everyone that has come my way ♡ i was speaking to my friends a whole lot more today and felt the love all around, i love them so much !! i also worked up the courage to go to lesson today which is something i dont do often, my tiredness and anxiety gets the best of me but im glad i went today, it made me realise that maybe i do enjoy the things that i do, i cant wait for many more blessings to come my way, in fact havent they already? i'm def working on putting a diary entry up everyday 😭 ive got this !

however i know my days arent always sunshine and rainbows, i struggled a lot with unwanted thoughts today.. detachment does not come easy right now but i know it will be easy tommorow. let go and let god is something i now live by.

It's okay to half ass things. Not because your half-assing things is going to somehow be the best thing anyone has ever seen or even as good as someone who isn't half assing it. It's okay because sometimes that's the only way to do it. Hang your clothing up inside out because your clothes will be hung up. Dust a little bit because you will have dusted. Make a shitty meal because you'll have food. Never feel bad for half assing it.

Cat

many of the ppl who are good at something have practiced copiously. practice copiously!!! you do not have to be naturally talented at something to do it well!!!!