Strawberrysynonym - Ji

its only 10am and today is already off to a bad start,, hopefully it gets better.. well let me trust in positivity ♡

*forgets to message back* *forgets to check notifications* *forgets to look through bookmarks* *forgets to check reminders* *forgets to check out [insert content] that i said i would* *forgets to take my phone off do not disturb* *forgets to

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 29/01/24

dear diary,

fear is such a weird thing? why do i care about what other people are doing and if i see them or if they perceive me,, i really shouldn't be having such limiting thoughts, i want to conquer all my social fears this week, i'm going to make it my goal.

today was very all over the place but i think it fell in place beautifully? even if it's not what i wanted. i think these days theres just comfort thinking in the air, as in how my clothes feel against my body or how the wind flows outside, the sound of the train station every morning, the squelchy noise my boots make every time i step on the pavement.. like that, is there a word for that? is it mindful thinking? i also want to focus on the present a lot this week.

my train ticket ended up declining this morning and for a moment it felt so humiliating but i then realised that it wasn't, i just had to put more money into my account and just move on, i now want to live like that. if it doesn't serve me i just move on with it.

i had mentoring today and it was so freeing to finally be able to discuss with a teacher why i struggle in certain lessons and how i can combat them,, now i just have to actual put that in practice

i also finally submitted a poetry piece into a college comp and im pretty proud of the piece ♡ i hope i have a chance of winning it but i also know that if i believe in myself i'll get the outcome that is most ideal

today was slightly anxiety inducing but mainly due to my own fears and self esteem, gives me something to work on~ i hope tommorow is a better day for myself.

can you fucking please look at yourself with the eyes of a lover? fuck

save me nct dream go era. heal me. revive me.

We finish this together.

in another universe israel does not exist

☆ 22/06/24

a late update! ive been hanging out with my nephews far too much im so knackered but i love them both so much, finally logged into the ps4 yesterday its been so long i cant wait to play bioshock again

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 31/01/24

i completely forgot to update yesterday,,

i had the worst period cramps ever they hurt so bad and i puked 5 times, truly awful

today just consisted of rest and relaxation but also healing, im aware im not making as much progress as i can be however i like these small steps and im really starting to feel at peace even if im not the happiest on most days

i finally get that healing isn't about keeping peace at all costs but instead going through emotions and processing them and turning back to peace, choosing love over fear always ♡♡

i finally got to play persona 5 royal today, i'd been putting it off cause of my mood but im so glad i did today it really turned my head back on what i usually enjoy,, i cant wait for friday cause thats when persona 3 reload comes out !! i've heard the ost leak for colour the night and i'm absolutely loving it !!

i'll prioritise good time and good friends cause im a good person too, i was speaking to a close friend of mine and he told me that i should only surround myself with people who make me soft and bring out the sweetness in me instead of bitter and cold and that genuinely resonated with me cause i always seem to be putting a mask on infront of people and even some of my friends cause i feel as if i shouldn't let my guard down.

ive been putting my mind onto the music i want to listen to more these days and my mind always goes back to jhene aiko and umi, i love them both and their music always gets me feeling soft and spiritual, i strive to be like that too.. but anyway i wont forget to update tommorow !!