Strawberrysynonym - Ji

⁺˚⋆｡ °✩₊ 29/01/24

dear diary,

fear is such a weird thing? why do i care about what other people are doing and if i see them or if they perceive me,, i really shouldn't be having such limiting thoughts, i want to conquer all my social fears this week, i'm going to make it my goal.

today was very all over the place but i think it fell in place beautifully? even if it's not what i wanted. i think these days theres just comfort thinking in the air, as in how my clothes feel against my body or how the wind flows outside, the sound of the train station every morning, the squelchy noise my boots make every time i step on the pavement.. like that, is there a word for that? is it mindful thinking? i also want to focus on the present a lot this week.

my train ticket ended up declining this morning and for a moment it felt so humiliating but i then realised that it wasn't, i just had to put more money into my account and just move on, i now want to live like that. if it doesn't serve me i just move on with it.

i had mentoring today and it was so freeing to finally be able to discuss with a teacher why i struggle in certain lessons and how i can combat them,, now i just have to actual put that in practice

i also finally submitted a poetry piece into a college comp and im pretty proud of the piece ♡ i hope i have a chance of winning it but i also know that if i believe in myself i'll get the outcome that is most ideal

today was slightly anxiety inducing but mainly due to my own fears and self esteem, gives me something to work on~ i hope tommorow is a better day for myself.

IVE GOT A SUCCESS STORY !

how i manifested weed (i do not condone drug usage)

i literally just decided i had a spliff every time i thought about smoking so instead of wanting it i reminded myself i already have it, i reminded myself with affirmation only when i needed to and i also daydreamed about it and told myself that the daydream was true and then i let that shit go and did whatever i needed to do in the 3d. so whenever it came into my head i fulfilled myself and let the idea of wanting it go and kept the idea of having it in my mind and then forgot about it by distracting myself. i personally believe letting it go and detaching helped me out so so much with belief

and not even a week later today i got stopped by two friends who told me they were gonna 🍃 before last school period and asked if i wanted to join them ! ofc i said yes and i think it worked a bit too well i ended up greening out (absolutely awful pls know ur limit) and had the best high after that.

as for picture evidence i have a photo of me absolutely faded with dead eyes (embarassing) and screenshot of text messages between me and one of my friends thanking her for helping me ground myself when i was tripping ♡♡

the law is real.

Omg I love this success story! Congrats babe. You’re so powerful. Proof you can literally manifest anything you want 🤭 ❤️

its been p common knowledge for decades that light pollution can be massively reduced by just putting shades on streetlamps, and that doing that would save energy, help wildlife, and let us see the stars better, but are society says if u wanna change any minor little tiny thing u gotta dedicate ur whole life to campaigning for it and this is a good ways down the list of priorities for most ppl, so instead i gotta walk past newly-installed streetlamps that are just dumb glass globes that use half their electricity to blast half their light directly into the sky where it does only bad things for no reason and think "we should overthrow the government"

My absolute hottest take is that, from a culturally relative perspective, no food is bad. None of it. It's an expression of culture, art, history, ecology, material conditions, subjective taste. It's all inedible pap to somebody and the taste of childhood for someone else. Americans be eating cheesed burger. Pea wet is as good as gravy in Wigan. The French eat snails and the Inuit eat seal, the Germans eat sauerkraut and the Russians drink kvass, the Inca ate cavy and the Romans ate flamingo. People around the world have been eagerly awaiting their serving of simple bread or thin porridge or fermented milk product or pickled whatever-the-fuck since we learned to cook food over fire. We all love the slop we grew up eating. Food is a reflection of millennia of culture and loving human artistic expression. Attempting to extrapolate largely harmless online food banter into actual serious comparative rankings or half-baked critical analyses of cultures based on how much you subjectively don't like what they eat is a miserable way to live. Live a little. Peace and love on the only planet with food.

save me nct dream go era. heal me. revive me.

i love how moths look and fly and theyre so beautiful but they lowkey terrify me and sometimes i find them kinda repulsive but when i think about it, i see myself just like i see the moths

☆ 20/06/24

the sunrise was pretty today :3 sorry i couldnt update yesterday, me and my siblings were out all night we went to a hiking trail at 12am and went to a field at 3am napped there for a bit all the way up until sunrise. today was slow but nevertheless peaceful

☆ 21/06/24

today was batshit crazy i greened out for the first time, on a blunt with friends n i thought i wasn't in control of my body and tried to break out of it which only made me trip hard and then puke a bunch but then i had the nicest high ever after that ! and also half a tub of icecream ♡ literally no school lessons today all i did was get high

Sennen Cove, Cornwall, England