If Lemony Snicket Wrote Harry Potter

the funniest thing in the entire pirates of the caribbean series is definitely that one scene in At World’s End where they have parlay but davy jones is part of it, and rather than have him stand in the shallows or something they get a big bucket of water and have in stand on it on shore

who thought of that idea? who thought “put davy jones in a bucket of water” and had the guts to suggest it aloud? and then who went “hey that sounds like a great idea!”

at some point someone told davy jones their idea was for him to stand in a bucket of water and he agreed to it

John Mulaney, a true ADHD icon

i made a folder on googledrive for poetry&relevant literature that i find myself coming back to when i need to ground myself again. most are fairly well known so it’s also a good place to dive into literature if you haven’t already. all should be free to download but let me know & i’ll try to do something about it. hope some of you get just as much from these authors as i have. 

*After announcing the three champions that will compete in the triwizard tournament, Dumbledore grabs a fourth paper that just came out of the goblet of fire*

Dumbledore: Harry Potter

Harry:

Ron:

Hermione:

Ginny:

Fred, George and Lee Jordan:

Cedric:

Fleur:

Victor:

Draco:

Gryffindors:

Hufflepuffs:

Slytherins:

Ravenclaws:

The Teachers Table:

Human tests are no match for cats (1 inch = 2.5cm).

Suzanne Collin’s just said fuck you to everyone who’s ever critiqued the Hunger Games as being a “teen girl saves the day” story. She said oh, Mockingjay didn’t make it clear enough? Here’s a book about how people have been rebelling for decades only to have their efforts suppressed and propagandized. Rebellion takes time and it takes failure and Katniss may have been the spark that ignited the wildfire but she did so standing atop the doused flames of everyone who came before her.

anyone wanna read the fake script for a black panther 2 trailer I wrote right after infinity war came out and forgot about

the bunnies did the lady and the tramp kiss. help i’m crying

studies