Latest Posts by sublimedetectivemusic - Page 9

Titles. They’re the worst.

You know what the solution is? Use a Hozier lyric. Too much work? I made a generator that will summon one for you.

It works surprisingly well as a prompt generator, as well.

lyra: i’m from an alternate universe and i can talk to angels

mary malone:

Ravenclaw: I relate to Belle because she loves to read books and loves people for their souls.

Gryffindor: I relate to Tinkerbell because she needs attention or else she dies.

never has a marvel villain said anything more real than mysterio when he stated "people need to believe in something, and nowadays, they'll believe in anything" like the marvel villains have one braincell and quentin beck has had it since 2008

𝚑𝚘𝚣𝚒𝚎𝚛 𝚜𝚎𝚕𝚏-𝚝𝚒𝚝𝚕𝚎𝚍 𝚋𝚘𝚘𝚔𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚕𝚢𝚛𝚒𝚌𝚜 (click + right-click “open image in new tab” for high-res).

wasteland, baby! booklet lyrics: here.

𝖜𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖑𝖆𝖓𝖉, 𝖇𝖆𝖇𝖞! 𝖇𝖔𝖔𝖐𝖑𝖊𝖙 𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖘 (click + right-click “open image in new tab” for high-res).

𝖇𝖔𝖓𝖚𝖘 𝖓𝖎𝖓𝖆 𝖈𝖗𝖎𝖊𝖉 𝖕𝖔𝖜𝖊𝖗 𝖊𝖕 𝖑𝖞𝖗𝖎𝖈𝖘:

self-titled booklet lyrics: here.

will gets attacked by this girl who hasn’t bathed in days and introduces herself as lyra silvertongue and she has a shapeshifting animal friend called a demon and she says she’s looking for ‘special dust’ and she doesn’t know what a refrigerator is or what a can of coke is or an omelette or baked beans and she licks raw egg and keeps talking about how in her world servants do the cooking and this all happens within like ten minutes and william parry, a twelve-year-old from our world, just goes “this might as well happen”

studies

That post about Luna keeping her head in a crisis is making the rounds again, and it always reminds me of one of my favorite things about Harry Potter’s friends.

Can you imagine Head Auror Potter’s enemies deciding he’s too dangerous and they should go after the people he cares about?

“All right, so everyone knows Weasley only made it so far in the Auror force because he was Potter’s buddy, right? Let’s go after him.” Later, Ron is rubbing his neck in embarrassment as the mediwizards are dragging half a dozen neo-death-eaters out of a smoking crater.

“Fine, Granger, then. She sits at a desk all day, nothing to be scared of.” By the time they make it to Hermione’s office they’ve set off six alarms and four booby traps, one of them is permanently blue, another one is seven inches tall. Hermione’s waiting with a drawn wand and a half-dozen goblins that are super cranky about having their negotiations interrupted.

“Okay, how about we go after his wife and kids?” “No way, man, you do not f*** with that guy’s wife.” “Yeah, and his kid bit me! Look, I’ve got a scar!”

“What about the professor? I hear that guy’s kind of a dork. I mean, all he does is mess around in the greenhouses, right?” “I dunno, isn’t he head of Gryffindor house?” Later, “So, I heard you got your a*** kicked by a house plant…”

“The naturalist, then. Pretty little blond girl? Kind of vague? No problem, right?” “Oh, f***, s***, my eyes!” (Everybody always forgets that Luna Lovegood led an army…)

[This last one is largely due to @vivithefolle, so she gets credit for it.]

“What about the godson, right? Lives with his grandmother? Little old lady and a small child, no problem.” … “Okay, why didn’t anyone mention that she’s a Slytherin? And a Black! I’m pretty sure what she just hit us with was banned by international treaty!” “Yeah, what are we gonna do, call the Aurors?”

Ultimately they decide it’s just safer to go after the guy whose signature spell is, after all, Expelliarmus.

The thing about Harry Potter as a character is that he is insanely observant when he actually cares enough to pay attention. Meaning 90% of the stuff he deems unimportant flies over his head, but he makes these huge leaps of logic and intuition when he bothers to focus. Like in the books when it comes to anything relating to Voldemort or Death Eaters or People Not To Be Trusted (Draco, Umbridge). Growing up, he had to be able to see when a situation was going south long before the frying pan or Dudley’s fists came his way. But he also had to be able to ignore and tune out the constant flow of shit and neglect he was treated to.

If you think about it, for all the better aspects of Hogwarts, it still followed this same basic pattern. He had to pay close attention to the things trying to kill him (even classes took a back seat to this), but find a way to ignore and not acknowledge all the rumors and staring and people thinking he’s a prat or the heir of slytherin or a liar. I think this is why the arguments that Harry is a mushroom and notices nothing, and the arguments that he is deductively brilliant can exist side by side. He’s both. It’s also why, in my opinion, he tends to be ridiculously observant of Ginny once he starts to notice her as something important. She barely exists in the early narrative other than Someone to Be Saved. It’s also why Ginny can sometimes feel like she ‘comes from nowhere’ in the narrative. As far as Harry is concerned, she did come from nowhere. The switch in Harry’s brain went from Doesn’t Matter–Ignore to Very Important–Pay Close Attention, and BAM, there she was. Everywhere.

“Those poor boys”

“She deserves to be punished too.”

“I’m not saying I support rape, but-”

“Sorry to say - she deserved it.”

“She put herself in harm’s way”

“But if she was fingered, then that’s not rape.”

“She ruined their lives.”

"I know what I'm doing."

Ravenclaw, frantically looking for directions

the well known Harry Potter cycle

Step 1: thinking Snape is a bad guy

Step 2: thinking Snape is a good guy

Step 3: realising as you mature as a person that Snape was actually a terrible person after all and was an abusive bully who didn’t grown out of this stage even into his late 30s and an obsessive person who thought he was entitled to Lily just because she showed him friendship and no matter how many bias memories of his you are shown you will never see him in any different way 

unfortunately some people are still stuck in stage 2

If anyone is going to tell me that everything will be okay, I’m glad it’s David Tennant telling me this otherwise I wouldn’t believe it This video will be my strength for the upcoming years so I thought I’d share for any other American or any fan really who needs some wise words

Immensely proud of him, thank you for the reminder. Everything is going to be okay.

Harry Potter AU when Harry goes into the Forest to die. He arrives in Aragog’s hollow and shows himself. Hagrid shouts but is silenced by Rowle. Voldemort says, “Harry Potter. The boy who lived.” He raises his wand, and Harry stares back at him, wanting it to be over and done with.

And then a revving sound as the Ford Anglia crashes into the clearing and runs Voldemort over.

#chris evans #in where he is actually steve rogers

Fleur Delacour had the most impressive performance in the First Task of the Triwizard Tournament, imo, and it is a Crime that she came in last place. Like, sure, maybe what she did took awhile and it wasn’t flashy, but imo she did by far the most impressive, difficult, and most humane piece of magic. 

Like, there’s this pissed off dragon mother, right? It’s been boxed up, taken to this strange place, then stuck in a noisy arena where its eggs are being threatened. This dragon is probably Unbelievably scared and angry. 

It can take 4-8 adult wizards working in tandem to Stun a dragon, especially a pissed off one, but Fleur “fairy princess” Delacour walks into that arena, stares down an angry apex predator, and somehow manages to single-handedly enchant it to sleep. This Common Welsh Green is surrounded by hundreds of people, needs to protect its eggs, but Fleur Delacour’s magic manages to override all of its fear and anger? That is an incredible feat of powerful and probably very complex magic. 

Like, no wonder Fleur Delacour can come off as condescending, that is mind-blowingly impressive. That is the work of 4-8 adult wizards. You cannot tell me that the watching dragon-handlers were not LOSING THEIR MINDS. 

Between sexism and Fleur being part-Veela, it is unfortunately very realistic that she faces a lot of prejudice, but come on, Professors Sprout and Hagrid and etc. must have been going wild. It’s only some very bad luck that her skirt was accidentally set on fire. She got the golden egg. There was zero damage to the dragon or to the real eggs. Even if Madame Maxime and Fleur worked together to prepare it, Fleur still had to do it, and Madame Maxime would have been so rightly furious that Fleur’s bravery and magical skill wasn’t recognized. 

Anyway, part of where I’m going with this, is that this injustice also creates some choice eldest Weasley brother reactions. Like Bill Weasley is writing his regular letters to Charlie, right? And he happens to mention, “Hey, I met this woman at work, on that guardian beast problem with that tomb I was telling you about. Do you remember the Beauxbatons Champion, Fleur Delacour?” 

And Charlie Weasley writes back like, “DO I REMEMBER FLEUR DELACOUR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE HAVE A POSTER OF HER ON OUR WALL! I HAVE HER GRADUATING CHARMS THESIS ON CALMING MAGICAL CREATURES AND I WANT IT SIGNED. SHE REVOLUTIONIZED OUR DEALINGS WITH DRAGONS HERE. INJURIES ON THE RESERVE FOR DRAGONS AND HANDLERS ARE DOWN BY LIKE 75% SINCE WE BEGAN IMPLEMENTING HER REINVENTED SPELLWORK.” 

“Uh, alright then. Well, you can send that to me and I will ask her to sign it for you,” Bill Weasley, an extremely successful Curse-Breaker, writes back. (It isn’t that he doesn’t find Fleur Delacour’s accomplishments very impressive, it is just that the poster on the wall thing is a Bit Weird.) “That’s not going to be weird when I ask her out or anything. Wish me luck.” 

And Charlie writes back, “LUCK? LUCK?! WILLIAM WEASLEY, IF YOU DON’T MARRY THAT WOMAN, I’LL DISOWN YOU. TELL HER THAT IF GRINGOTTS DOESN’T APPRECIATE HER, SHE CAN COME TO ROMANIA. WE’RE BROKE, BUT I HAVE A DOZEN MUSCLED WIZARDS, WITCHES, AND OTHERS READY TO PROPOSE TO HER ON THE SPOT.” 

“I was thinking dinner first,” Bill writes back. “But I’ll let her know?” 

So, Fleur initially has to deal with a lot of crap from the Weasley Family, but at least she’s always got Charlie “Number One Fleur Delacour Fan” Weasley in her corner. You’ll catch Uncle Charlie excitedly telling the story of Fleur Delacour in the First Task to Bill’s children forever. 

(Charlie: “IF YOU DON’T MARRY HER THEN I WILL!” 

Bill: “Charlie, you’re not even into women.” 

Charlie: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DRAGON-HANDLING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!!”)

I was born to see this video

Imagine first year Harry Potter looking for Fred and George to see if they want to have a snowball fight with him and Ron and finding an odd piece of parchment lying in their room. 

Imagine first year Harry Potter picking the parchment up and examining it, because he’s learning that in the wizarding world nothing is ever as it seems, not even old pieces of parchment. 

Imagine first year Harry Potter tapping his wand to the parchment to see if anything happens and, to his surprise, seeing thin, angular writing appear as if written by an invisible hand. 

Imagine first year Harry Potter’s excitement when the parchment reads: Mr. Prongs asks who is trying to uncover the carefully guarded secrets of the Marauders. 

Imagine first year Harry Potter whispering “My name is Harry Potter and I didn’t mean to pry,” before hurriedly trying to refold it and return it to where he’d found it 

Imagine first year Harry Potter’s astonishment when the writing reappears, this time saying: Let Mr. Prongs share his immense joy that Harry Potter has found this. He hopes that Harry will find the contents of this parchment useful and use it in a way that would make his father proud. 

Imagine first year Harry Potter’s smile sliding off his face as he says quietly, “I don’t know. My father’s dead, you see. 

Imagine first year Harry Potter’s confusion when the writing appears once again, saying: Mr. Prongs wishes to tell Harry Potter that while his father may be dead, he is still looking out for him and is incredibly proud of him. Mr. Prongs hopes that Harry Potter knows his father loves him very much. 

Imagine first year Harry Potter taking the map back to his dormitory and spending the rest of the evening talking to the mysterious Mr. Prongs about his mother and father, about whom the invisible man seems to know quite a bit.

if i was a doctor who companion the first thing i’d do is go back to the 19th century and introduce them to hozier

Just wanted to keep you guys updated

Sherlock fandom: *on their death bed, voice cracking* Boooored *shoots the wall*

PJ fandom: Rick, my man, what the heck. Oooooh is that jason x brick fanart CUTE

HP fandom: *Shouting, glass breaking, cats screeching* ROWLINGS NO LONGER OWNS THESE BOOKS, SHJRHDURHISHROWHEI SNAPE IS A GOOOOOD GUY!!!!!! JAMES IS A BULLY!!!!!!!! NO HE’S NOT!! YES HE IS SHUT UP

MCU fandom: *Hugging Avengers 1 DVD while sobbing* TAKE MEH BACCCCKKK

anyone wanna read the fake script for a black panther 2 trailer I wrote right after infinity war came out and forgot about

The Chronicles of Narnia Series

So seeing as it was my birthay and @alice-c-anna (@aslansblessings) yesterday, it only seemed right to dedicate my latest Narnia edit to her. Hope you like the edit and that your birthday turned out awesome because you certainly deserved it!

Ravenclaw: fun fact, the trees in my yard are government protected because they were specially genetically made

Slytherin:

Slytherin: what were you actually supposed to be doing today

meanwhile, in the alt timeline

nick fury: so you’re telling me. loki is gone with the tesseract

nick fury: there is a surveillance video of tony stark. in the same room as tony stark

nick fury: THERE WERE TWO CAPTAIN AMERICAS??

nick fury: AND STEVE IS BROKEN AND WONT SHUT UP ABOUT SOME GUY NAMED BUCKY

nick fury: AND WE STILL DONT KNOW WHY??

the avengers: you forgot the part where there were two hulks caught on tape—

nick fury:

nick fury: THE W HAT

Avengers: Endgame alternate ending where Thor gets hold of the gauntlet in the final fight to snap instead of Tony, and when he snaps, he doesn’t just wipe out Thanos’ army. With that agonizing flick of his fingers, he brings back all of Asgard and the dead Asgardians as well – both those killed by Thanos and by Hela. The gauntlet burns and shrivels his arm in the process, and while he survives, he ends up losing the arm (leaving him looking like comics!Thor–)

(Also he doesn’t dust Thanos but leaves him for Nebula and Gamora to finish off. He’s had his turn before, it’s time they get theirs. And as he staggers back to his feet, Bucky immediately points out that if he’s in the market for an arm, he knows a gal.)

The effect of Thanos’ forces turning to ash is easy enough to observe, but Thor doesn’t know if his snap worked to bring Asgard back as well until he looks up and, warily, calls out Heimdall’s name…

…And the bifrost opens.

He smiles to his companions, then takes the bridge back to the newly restored realm eternal. His friends are all there on the bridge waiting for him, and through the crowd, a familiar lean figure steps forward, smirking.

“I told you the sun would shine on us again,” Loki remarks, before Thor crushes the breath out of him in an embrace.

The king is returned. And the sun shines on Asgard in the dawn of a new age.

dumbledore: i recognise that the board of governors has made a decision, but given that it's a stupid-ass decision, i have elected to ignore it