Cold

Remember Oil

Oil

Tin can

Marble shaking around

“Oil can” says the tin man of a car

At least I know that there is a true heart inside

Along with a great dancer

But this oil...

Is making the somewhat broken ice more slippery

And harder to break

Even though you are a human teddy bear

That wears the same grey sweatshirt a lot,

Same though

You don't know, but you are

The tamer of my wild anxiety

We are literally driving in a shaking car with no right turn signal

And I find

That I'm comfortable with that

And I hope this ride doesn't end soon

What Will Happen?

What will happen when this bird gets out of the cage

Will it sing and fly

Or just sit there and die?

A face full of tears

Yet none of them want to fall

An infant full of years,

Slamming doors

To close off the past

Of the hidden wars

Might as well recreate my kindergarten picture

Of a small person with the world’s tiniest smile

What a mixture

A probable mistake

A theory

Of sour birthday cake

The same will of wanting a way out

Few know what it’s like to be born into the wrong world

I'm an alien trying to find a realistic route

Hands in little fists

Ready to punch a hole in your inflexible plan for me to follow

So many things wrong with that I could make paper flowing lists

I can see my blonde hair back in my face

That I once cut into uneven bangs

Those pictures you try to erase

Like the pictures of my big toothless grin

When I had a badass black eye

My wild heart you can’t win,

With dance recital dresses

This Rockette will not dance anymore

The reason is just as good as your guesses

I'm not your special girl

I'm not anyone’s except my own

And you thinking otherwise makes me want to hurl

What will happen with this girl

When she is free of the nest

Despite her fears and guilty love, will she fly like the rest?

Society

We don’t realize that we are the forest,

Not a tree

A nest of dripping honey

Not a bee

We don’t realize that we are the ocean

Not a drop

We don’t realize that we are the mountain

Not just the mountain top

We don’t realize that we are a band or an orchestra

Not a single instrument standing out alone

We are a skeletal system

Not a bone

We are a class

Not a single student

A mass

Not volume or weight

We are an entire troop

Not a soldier

The whole soup

Not the noodles

We are society

You are bigger than you think

Yes there is a big human variety,

But without you to fill the small hole, the waters would come flooding in and we would all sink

Hot Tears

Hot tears could set this place on fire

All these flame flame flames

Who aim aim aims

These flame flame flames

At me?

But even if this place burned down

It would lack lack lack,

You, come back come back come back

I lack lack lack

The part, of my heart that you took

I've become so hot that I'm blue

Into my life you came came came

Do you think this is a game game game

The way that you came came came

And left me

You left me with hope that has evaporated

You had hope hope hope

To keep this boat afloat float float

I want that beautiful hope hope hope

Sos

I know that I'm just wasting paper thinking that we shall meet again

Life just seems lame lame lame,

Without you, do you feel the same same same,

About this being lame lame lame

Amy?

A Letter To My Anxiety

Hey anxiety,

You make me feel overwhelmed

With my increased heartbeat

You make me feel like I just cant, because it would be too much for me

Too much for me to handle

You make me feel like I would drown if I jumped into the deep end

But…

I have some good friends

And I have some good music

And even though you can make me scared,

I realize that I'm stronger than I know

And if I just ride the roller coaster I can feel accomplished later on

A New Start

I feel the warmth

Of the light at the end of the tunnel

I think this is the last

Of the darkness

Well at least for a while

So here's to a new start

Here's to a change

That will make my future self scream,

Plot twist!

Plot twist!

One so well written by the insanity of reality

That it catches god by surprise

A castle of freshly grown hope

A castle that I built out of the crap in my life

A new life of being alone

I must learn to stretch my wings once in a while

I must learn to stop

Beating myself up

I think

That i should be brave enough

To be me

Which is a simple task for some

I think that this is the last

Of the darkness for now

In Galaxies Of Snow

In galaxies of snow

You were blinded

You said I opened your eyes

But you are still near and far sided

You were lost in your own galaxy,

In fact you still are

And you have to rescue yourself,

From the fact that I live with part of a star

The sky with a blue tint

And the bright grey,

Did they not give you a hint,

That I need physical space on some days?

You are all touchy-feely

I’d prefer just being and you just being

You are all lovey-dovey

That you're just not seeing

I know that everyone shows love differently

You need to focus on yourself more,

Rather than focusing on what my lips feel like

I'm starting for the door

You seem to like the idea of this broken relationship

But it’s taken its toll,

With you, literally being attached at the hip

You need to get over yourself

In the way that you need to know every conversation

That has the slightest relation to me and you

But you think you need to know

Even if you already knew

Similarly to the whispers of your parents you don’t need to know about

The whispers of what they personally believe

And if they are wrong, you will try to correct them like a toddler while you pout

In galaxies of snow, you are unrightfully playing a selfish god as a child

You do that by saying, “You should totally let me hold your hand”

And you thought it was funny

But you can’t make me land,

And I'm so sorry that you cannot fly without money!

I Am Not Your Smooth

Smooth

Smooth

Groove

I can say I made it out alive

I can say that all the times I got pied

Humiliated, it felt like you, snide

Groove

Smooth

Smooth

You seem needy for a female

When will you realize, I will not be for sale?

For news you're stale

Smooth

Groove

Smooth

You wish you had this one

Away from that one guy I'll run

By someone else my heart has been nicely won

You are not smooth

You're vain which is not my groove

Please stop thinking I am your smooth

Flit Flirt

You, little flit flirt

Back at my window

From bad to good, my feelings you convert

The wind blows, blows, blows

  Window, open, I still can’t hear you

Please stay

With you I think I’ll get through

My light of day

  Everything, you give

I’ll saver

Die for you, or live?

If you ever need a favor...

  You and I don’t have the clock,

Don’t rush

Love, my time torturously tick tocks

Me heart you better not crush

  I will succeed

Still you come and go

Love me?

You taught me how to go with the flow

Opposites

5:55 at still not, alone

The sun is coming up

And I’ll see it down again

As the day gets brighter

The darker my day gets

If I'm walking uphill

That does not mean I am not going downhill

And if I'm in the eye of the hurricane,

That does not mean from the storm I am free

The higher I get, the lower I sink

The more I wait for the perfect moment

The faster it will pass because I am a small, white, rodent

A rodent so quiet it forgot to squeak

A shrugging girl so quiet she forgot to speak

Tempting, as it may be, I'm too tired to argue with your opinion

Scenery flashing by as I try to run on my legs of rubber molasses

Frustration drips down my face and my body

When I run from my problems I am running right into their tangled arms

Living away from them, they get bigger

Living with them, I go crazy claustrophobic

I want stars; I want the moon’s blood

I do not want to be lonely but I want to be alone