Latest Posts by sundove - Page 5
What to do if you meet a toxic “professional”
I met a shit doctor today. They shamed me and blamed me for my illness, treated me like a drug addict for needing anti depressants, refused to give me enough to last til next appointment… Made us cry, gave me a panic attack and shamed me for being an adult with special needs and dependent on my parents. Aggressively gave bad information. I will be reporting them to the psychiatry board, but in the meantime, I want to tell people what I learned.
If someone makes you uncomfortable, professional or not, tell them and if they continue just leave! You can walk away!
You don’t owe anyone apologies for who you are or for having an illness
Read online reviews before seeing someone, check for red flags. I wish I had! They had similar experiences! Almost exactly the same.
If someone constantly interrupts you when it’s your turn to talk, they are out of line.
I’m a trauma survivor. It’s hard for me to say no. You can say no. You don’t have to sign things against your will.
Take a friend or family member who will have your back.
Please don’t give up hope on finding treatment from a bad experience, try again when you are ready.
Prepare some phrases if you need help to walk away. “I don’t think we are a good match, I will be leaving now.” Is more than acceptable.
In hindsight, I could have called the police or someone, don’t be afraid to step out and do that. Especially if they hurt you physically, that’s assault!
I hope this helps someone.
┏( >o<)┓I may be human who makes mistakes but I am not a mistake! And neither are you! I’m not sorry!!! I am thankful for the people who support me!!!!!
a gentle reminder that you aren’t a disappointment. you aren’t a failure. no one knows how hard u try and you’re doing so well. you deserve so much better.
how I keep myself sane during summer break.
I think we can all agree that the mere idea of having holiday breaks from boring lectures and all-nighter study sessions sounds like heaven; although this romanticized idea of having so much free time often turns into wasted summer days, oversleeping, and basically an anti-social teenage version of house arrest. so, to help you out (or, more to help Myself) here are some things I do to keep myself busy, on a budget (kind of), and mentally healthy during long breaks from school.
continue your morning routine. this is important; by this I mean to basically treat your summer mornings as you would your school mornings, without the rush and alarm. brush your teeth, brush your hair, start/continue a skincare routine, get out of your pajamas and into real clothes, make your bed, make some coffee, eat some breakfast, do it with some music on, whatever you want. this keeps your mind and body into a daily routine. don’t let all your precious no-class mornings of summer go to waste!
savor sleeping in, but not too much. I know its super tempting to go to bed at like 2 AM and wake up the next “morning” at 12PM, but trust me, you’ll regret fucking up your sleep schedule once you actually have to set an alarm and get your ass to class next fall. I’m not saying you should force yourself to set a summer alarm (although, if you really want to train yourself this isn’t a bad idea tbh) but for the love of god, at least go to sleep and wake up at reasonable times. don’t waste your entire day!!
force yourself to see your friends a couple times a week, even if you really don’t want to. obviously this excludes mental health days, but I’ve found that spending time with my friends actually distracts me from any anxiety I’ve felt during the past week. I love my alone time, but human interaction is super important both mentally and physically. as college students we’re all pretty much broke, so don’t underestimate the power of free things- watching netflix at someone’s house, having a boardgame night, going to parks, you name it. as long as you’re with your friends, you’ll have a great time!
clean out your music library + make a playlist or two. y’all know I love a good playlist. this is something totally 100% FREE, and a perfect way to make use of your free time. delete all the stuff you don’t listen to anymore and make a few playlists of your favorite songs, or even go with playlist themes to organize your songs. it’s fun and your future self will probably thank you later for getting rid of so much audible junk.
get back into reading. this is something that was on my personal summer to-do list. I haven’t read a book for myself (aka not for a class) in sooo long, and let me tell you- I don’t know why I ever stopped reading. I know for a fact that once the semester starts I’ll have zero free time to read for myself, so summer is the perfect time to get into a new book or two!
eat your three meals a day +hydrate. I mean this. its very easy to skip/forget meals when you really don’t have any set schedule whatsoever, so plan your meals into your day. even make an alarm if its necessary. also: if you don’t know if you’re drinking enough water, you probably aren’t.
deep clean your room/workspace/closet. I’m super guilty for putting this off but, long breaks like summer are the perfect times to deep clean! what makes it easier for me to clean my room is to go section by section, which means not doing it all in a day (because that gets hella overwhelming and stressful, let me tell you). grab a garbage bag, put on some tunes, and pick a section to clean that day; you’ll be done with the entire space in no time!
outfit plan. for someone like me who has way too much in my closet and somehow still “never has anything to wear”, this is essential! set some outfits out on the floor/bed and take pics of them on your phone so that you can look back on them for some style inspo the next time you have “absolutely NOTHING to wear”.
find a new hobby, even if you’re bad at it. make some collages of your friends, make a scrapbook, learn photoshop, paint a little, learn how to sew, garden, cook, practice your phone photography skills… if there was a time for you to try out new things, it’s NOW.
make a post about all the shit you should do. I’m doing it right now. literally. you’re reading it right now. its not a bad idea.
if you know you have shit to do, plan it into your day! this is where the planner/agenda/bullet journal aspect comes in. having no class and no homework is not an excuse to stop planning out your day, your week, or your month. make some task lists and pencil in your dentist appointments and dates with people and whatnot; and even journal your days while you’re at it! if you’re a planner, never stop. Future You will thank you for it, I promise.
there are people in this world you haven’t even met yet who are going to love you so much, so please just hold on because the people who are right for you will find you
You can always start again. Clean out your social media. Create a new account for your new taste in music. Study or work in a new city. Start socialising with new people. Choose a new signature scent and style and purge the outdated parts of yourself. If you don’t like where you’re at, but you don’t know what to do about it - try starting again.
Grocery Shopping Tips for Pre-Depression
I got the feeling I was about to hit a brick wall in the near future, so, with a little encouragement from my Discord friends, I went grocery shopping for easy-prep meals for the next week or so. Here’s some tips on doing the thing!
Note: not all of these tips are the most 100% budget friendly. I am in a situation where I can afford to weight easy-to-prepare over buying in bulk and making things myself so they cost less. The balance may lie in a different place for you and your budget, and all I encourage you to do is your best.
No one cares what you’re wearing in a grocery store.
This one’s from personal experience, having worked grocery. If you show up in a pair of pajama pants and a T-shirt, that’s not going to throw anyone off. If you’re literally wearing a hoody and shorts, no one’s going to raise a fuss. Just put some clothes on and go.
Stop at the deli for ready-to-eat.
In my case, this was potato salad and cabbage rolls (and ambrosia salad), but there were plenty of options for ‘nuke it and call it a meal’ dinners, as well as soups. Your friendly deli person can take ‘I’m looking for something pre-made for dinner this week’ and guide you toward what’s fresh and what’s good.
Do buy larger sizes if you don’t know when the next time you’ll have energy to grocery is.
The particular item that this applied most to for me was honey: I opted for a larger size than I usually do, because I know that depression and cool weather both lead me toward tea-drinking, and I don’t know when shopping will happen.
Buying in bulk can also cost less, if that’s something you’re taking into consideration.
Do buy the ‘fun’ varieties.
For example, one of me depression meals tends to be oatmeal, because it’s quick and doesn’t require actual cooking. Today I bought the dino egg oatmeal for kids, because I thought it’d make me smile. I also got a slightly fancier brand of ramen than usual, because I thought it’d be more likely to get me to eat when all I can manage is a ramen.
Do buy a post-grocery treat for yourself.
You deserve it for making it through the trip. A box or two of Botan rice candy, or a candy bar at the check out is not a bad thing.
The simpler the prep, the better.
Minute rice cups that you can nuke and be done with? Great! Uncle Ben’s rice packets? Superb! Tuna fish pre-flavored packets? Amazing! Uncrustables? Dandy!
Do try and manage a smile for your cashier.
Again, from my personal experience in this position. We can tell you want to be done and out of here as fast as possible. We can tell if you’re frustrated with how slow you’re going. Cashiers are underpaid and stressed and have been on their feet for hours. Give them civility, if not outright pleasantness.
you will make it out alive. you will have done it. that future version of you exists. a happy one, one that looks back at you and is so glad you did not give up.
₍ᐢ◍˘(❢)˘◍ᐢ₎ 💭🍵 this is a protector bear. he will lovingly tuck you in bed at night and make sure you are safe… he is thinking of making some sleepytime tea to make sure your dreams are sweet!
12 Steps For Self Care
If it feels wrong, don’t do it
Say exactly what you mean
Don’t be a people pleaser
Trust your instincts
Never speak bad about yourself
Never give up on your dreams
Don’t be afraid to say “no”
Don’t be afraid to say “yes”
Be KIND to yourself
Let go of what you can’t control
Stay away from drama & negativity
LOVE
Little tips for when you feel bad and don’t know why.
-Ask yourself the last time you drank some water. Drink a few sips even if it wasn’t long ago. Coffee doesn’t count (neither does soda unless it’s the only option)
-When was the last time you ate? Get a small snack if able.
-Are ANY of your clothes too tight or uncomfortable? This includes socks, headbands, hats, and shoes.
-Stretch! Pop those shoulders, arch that back, straighten those legs. It Helps.
-If you happen to stim, do it! Do whatever feels right!
-Look for sounds, smells, etc. That are bothering you.
-Get your headphones and put on whatever music makes you feel happy/good/energetic.
-Loosen your shoulders, take some deep breaths. Drop your head and loosely roll your head. Try to relax as many muscles as you can.
-Close your eyes for a second.
-Did you take your meds (if you have them)? Do you need to take a Tylenol, ibuprofen Etc.?
-Are there allergens in the vicinity, are there any allergy medications you need to take?
-Breath deep.
I am by no means a professional and I don’t know what could be causing it but I know that these are kind of helpful. I’m not you and you aren’t me so these might not work. If the feeling bad is medical attention worthy, these might not help.
However, I hope that this does help someone.
How to be Mentally Strong
1. Don’t look to the world to give you an identity.
2. Don’t look to your family and friends for approval.
3. Set your own goals and believe in yourself.
4. Expect things to take time.
5. Expect to meet with setbacks.
6. Expect people to put you down, and for some to walk away.
7. Don’t be swayed by pressure from others.
8. Don’t resent others’ gifts and successes.
9. Accept that some things cannot be controlled.
10. Believe that you will make it one day.
advice from a dung beetle
Self-Discipline Isn’t Always the Answer
So I wasn’t really taught to brush my teeth every day as a kid. So I didn’t. I got to be an adult and realized “hmm teeth are expensive I need to start brushing them” and brushing my teeth twice a day has been on my actual to do list every single day of my college career. It’s a habit I needed to build.
Have I successfully done it? Absolutely not. I’m pretty good about doing it at least once a day, but some days it just doesn’t happen. It’s not that I forget usually, I just had some aversion I couldn’t figure out, until last week.
I’m at the grocery store, in the toothpaste aisle with my roommate, and I complain about how much I hate mint. I FUCKING HATE THE TASTE OF MINT. The taste and the smell, any kind of minty thing in any form, I HATE IT. But literally every “adult” toothpaste in the aisle was some type of minty disgusting nonsense. And my roommate was like “you know you could like get kids’ toothpaste? You like bubblegum right?”
And y’all, it was like the clouds parted. I got some strawberry bubblegum kids’ toothpaste. I brushed my teeth with it and it was a whole new experience. I have successfully brushed twice a day every day since, because the mental block I had towards it is gone!
I thought my lack of brushing was just a moral failing on my part; I was too lazy, too undisciplined, to build a good habit. But really? I just hate the taste of mint so much I didn’t want to brush my teeth.
This made me realize that when presented with a change you want to make, a habit you want to build, if you’re encountering resistance in yourself, you should lean into that resistance and really investigate what’s causing it, then work on accommodating that.
Say you hate washing dishes so they pile up and then you’re overwhelmed by how many you have to do. Why do you hate it? Deep down, what about it do you dislike? Is touching wet food super gross for you? Try thick rubber gloves while you’re washing. Does the sound of dishing clanking together grate your nerves? Do them with headphones in and turned up loud. Do you hate the smell? Light some candles, spray some air freshener.
Do these things instead of gritting your teeth and forcing yourself, then ultimately failing and getting discouraged by your “lack of self-discipline”
TL;DR: When a task is consistently hard for you, relying on self-discipline, forcing yourself, and gritting through doesn’t always work. Lean in and listen to your discomfort, and find what makes the task hard, then try to accommodate that. Also, mint toothpaste is gross.
He was a young artist employed by the Disney studio, but tasked with the entry-level job of finishing off the work of the animators and crafting the “in-between” animations that completed the characters’ movements. Wong had learned that studio executives were creating a film from the new novel, Bambi, A Life in the Woods by Felix Salten. Tom says the young artist read the book and without consulting his supervisor, “took the script and painted some visual concepts to set the mood, color and the design.”
His sketches recalled the lush mountain and forest scenes of Sung dynasty landscape paintings. His initiative paid off. Walt Disney, who was looking for something new for the film, was captivated and personally directed that Wong be promoted. Today, top animators and illustrators revere Wong’s work. Children today are as enchanted by the misty, lyrical brushstrokes of Wong’s colorful nature scenes, inspired by his training at Otis College of Art and self-study of Sung Dynasty art
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