It’s So Toxic

that will be the end of me

‧₊˚♡

i literally lost them yesterday

meetings, memories, just for you (lyney x gn!reader)

Summary: You’re a Fatui agent who works under Childe, accompanying him on his visit to Fontaine. There you meet Lyney under the guise of your civilian personas, and it’s not until later when he finds out you’re also part of the Snezhnayan group. However… what he’s more worried about is how to win your affections, as he aggravates (feat. Aether and Paimon’s company) about how to court you.

A/N: Many thoughts and head empty… I got this idea while I was doing chores and really wanted to write it out, so hope you’ll enjoy! 

Content warnings: Spoilers regarding context for Childe’s appearance/presence in Fontaine!

Wordcount: 3801

All things considered, your job as an agent under Childe’s authority was less stressful than that of other Fatui you’ve met. Much of your work involved assisting him with diplomatic paperworks, arranging travel plans, and the occasional combat.

While you’d like to say he’d taken an interest in your talents (a hydro vision bearer with a ‘life-stealing’ fighting style), the truth lies in how he’d found you at his family home while delivering something from Pulcinella. You were a regular recruit, and so was weak to his siblings' demands to join them in the snow and help build a gargantuan snowman. (We need more hands! Could you spare a few minutes?—it seemed like they took one look at you and you’d passed some sort of vibe test.)

To be honest, you didn’t have anything important to do save for returning to your base and waiting for other small commands, thus you ended up joining them. What a surprise it was for Childe then, to return home for a visit and see you there; he’d asked if you were working under anyone in particular, recognising your uniform, and asked you to go hunting with him (also for his family’s dinner, so how could you refuse after they’d given you snacks for the road?) And after witnessing your potential in combat, he offered you a place as his subordinate.

It wasn’t a prestigious role, but you made your way up the ranks with enough practice, and his younger siblings much preferred having a familiar face be the point of correspondence between him and themselves when Childe was in other nations - so here you were. An odd inbetween of subordinate, assistant, and friend (loosely termed, seeing as you did your best to not overstep despite how down-to-earth he was).

When he’d told you to arrange a visit to Fontaine, you could tell that Childe was in a low spirited period. His vision started to refuse his commands, and with every battle he’d leave with an even worse mood - all you could do was wordlessly heal his wounds. Your specialty involved trapping targets and healing your allies based on the damage done to enemies, which your peers used to say was akin to ‘balancing the scales’, whatever that’d meant.

Childe was feeling better after you’d first entered Fontaine, yet when he mentioned giving you his vision for safekeeping you were quick to rebuff that you weren’t going to be able to guard it safely. 

“Why not pay a visit to Aether, since he’s here?” You’d suggested. Frankly speaking, you were just hoping his usual cheeriness when it came to the Traveler would occur. “In the meantime, I will investigate the matter you assigned to me, Sir.”

That was what you were doing, going around Fontaine in hopes to learn more about the nation’s prophecy. Childe felt drawn here after his bad moods began, and so you hoped to find more clues regarding his dreams of a whale’s shadow.

It was easy to introduce yourself as the assistant of an important noble (not particularly false, since Childe had the mora to show for it). From your questions came responses that either thought the prophecy was farce, or divulged whatever ‘insider information’ they could. Some were quite the gossips, so you at least had an entertaining time listening to them.

“And so, it was said the Hydro Archon would be the only one left on her throne, weeping a sea of tears.” The man dramatically said, eyes shut for a moment of silence. “...Though of course, it’s nothing to worry about with the Chief Justice here. He’s very reliable, and would surely find a solution if it was really true.”

“It seems that not many people believe in its warnings,” you reflect.

“Well, there are better things to focus on if you were living here.” He boasts. “You should try watching one of the court proceedings when you have the time. Once you immerse yourself in the drama of it all, surely you will understand.”

“I will remember that.” A smile graces your lips, preparing to part ways now that you’ve gotten his input on the topic. “Now, if you would excuse me—”

“Pardon me, but I couldn’t help but overhear your discussion of the prophecy?” A voice interrupts your conversation, belonging to a young man with violet eyes and a tear-shaped mark on his cheek. 

“We were indeed.” Your expression easily melts into welcome. “Does the topic catch your interest, Mister…?”

“Just Lyney is fine.” He gives you a wink, picking up your hand to kiss your knuckles in greeting. “It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”

Checking his pocket watch, the man you’d been speaking to earlier bids you both farewell after exchanging pleasantries with Lyney, mentioning that he was looking forward to the ashen-blonde’s next show.

“A show?” You couldn’t help but ask, curiosity pulling you away from your mission just slightly. “Should I be addressing you more formally, as a celebrity of Fontaine?”

“Just hearing my name from your lips is lovelier than any title.” Lyney laughs, and you wonder for a second if saying such words is second-nature to him. He’s quick to take a proper look at you however, and refocuses the topic. “So, you’re a visitor interested in the prophecy of Fontaine - may I ask where this interest comes from?”

You start to walk alongside one another as you converse, the picturesque city passing with your words. “Well… if I have to be honest, it is because of my employer.” You’re well-versed with twisting the truth into a pretty facade. Not many people are accepting of the Fatui. Your exasperated gestures are perfectly authentic however, when you think about the paperwork you had to do for Childe back at Liyue. “I work as an assistant of sorts for him, and take care of menial tasks or passing interests that come to mind.”

“Sounds like a taxing job.” Lyney pauses, contemplating. “Say… If I had a way to alleviate your stress, would you want to try it?”

“So long as it’s not hypnosis,” you joke, but are leaning towards him nonetheless. Seeing it as a sign to continue, Lyney puts on an easy smile and picks up his hat, flourishing and tossing it into the air.

“Keep your eyes on my hat, or you might just miss it.” Deft fingers catch its brim, before presenting it to you with the inside exposed. “Could you check if there’s anything inside?”

Not sure if you were supposed to touch it or not, you instead give it a careful once-over, lowering your head to look closely. “Nope, nothing’s there.”

“Ah, but what’s this?” He moves his hands in wide arcs, flourishing props in the air like a dancer. Taps the hat twice, and a flurry of playing cards rush out and dive towards the ground. In feigned surprise, Lyney moves his hands to catch them. “Oops—”

Only for the cards to catch fire, and out came a pair of doves that flew into the air, up and away.

You don’t think you’ve blinked since Lyney started his trick, which only left you more flabbergasted at the sudden turn of events. When he finally bows and places his hat back on his head, you fight the urge to inspect it once more for some magic pocket.

Collecting yourself, you clap for him, lips pulled into a true smile this time. Lyney’s gaze lingers on the way your eyes crinkle, and he crosses his arms behind his back as he peers at you expectantly.

“How was that?” Eager for your praise, Lyney blinks up at you with the ghost of a smirk. “Did I manage to steal your attention?”

“You certainly did.” Shaking your head, you bow with a hand atop your heart, playing along with his theatrics as you expressed defeat. “With a miracle right in front of me, it’d take a lot not to be in awe.”

A miracle, huh? There’s a twinkle in Lyney’s eyes that you can’t quite decipher. “If you enjoyed that, I’d be happy to perform for you again one day. Or if you’d like to attend one of my shows, I’ll be sure to reserve you a front row seat.”

“I wouldn’t want to impose.” While you’re very much interested in watching his performances, you didn’t want to feel like you were taking advantage of this encounter. Plus, you were technically here for work. “...But if I manage to get a ticket amongst your other fans, I’ll make sure to cheer the loudest so you’d know I was there.”

There’s a moment where Lyney seems like he’s about to laugh, but holds it back gracefully and nods at your proposal. “I’m sure that even without that, my eyes would be drawn to you all the same.”

What a flirt. “We never did talk about the prophecy, in the end.”

“I didn’t want to be just another passing survey to you.” Lyney shrugs, giving you a mischievous smile. “But if you’d like to meet up another time, I can certainly divulge what knowledge I have.”

“Was this part of your plan, too?” You joke. “Are all magicians the scheming type?”

“I was simply thinking on my feet.” You didn’t say no, which was enough to keep his spirits high. 

-

Suffice to say, when you returned to your room that night and finished writing up a report to give to Childe, the Harbinger was quick to ask you about the flower tucked into your hair.

A flower that you did not realize was there until Childe had pointed it out, asking if you met someone today.

Cheeks burning at the realization you’d not only walked around the entire city with this, but also that it was a Rainbow Rose associated with passion and romance. There was only one person that could’ve gotten close enough for this; Lyney.

So of course, in a very mature fashion, you swore to yourself to not let this go the next time you meet him. You wore the same rainbow rose as a brooch when you attended his show, which seemed to delight the magician greatly. After a few more encounters, you could say that the both of you were friends.

…Well, somewhere between all of that, you became aware that Lyney and his sister also belonged to the House of the Hearth, which functioned under the Knave. Your superior had an obvious dislike for his colleague, but you put that little fact behind you. (It wasn’t like a person’s superior defined who they were. If that were the case, were you supposed to be as battle-forward as Childe?)

But whether or not Lyney was aware you were also a Fatuus leaves room for guesswork, until one day, without your knowledge, he’d seen you in the distance - about to call out to you in his usual manner until he noticed your company.

It was part of his job to at least be aware of who the harbingers were, even if he didn’t have to know their histories down to a tee. And seeing you, obviously quite familiar with Childe, made a number of conflicting theories jumble in his head.

What was your relationship with the Harbinger? Did you know Childe’s true identity? Were you and him…

Thankfully, Aether was quick to clear up his worries when they ran into each other a few hours later, after noticing that Lyney seemed more distracted than usual. At their explanation of how you were Childe’s subordinate, your explanation of your job finally fell into place.

With one concern dealt with, another arose; if you worked closely with a harbinger feared on the battlefield, were you truly impressed by Lyney’s own tricks?

A part of Lyney’s pride sunk as he overcomplicates the matter in his head, covering his eyes as if to fight off a headache. “Aether, what do I do?”

“What do you mean?” Paimon asks in confusion. “Isn’t this a good thing? Since you’re both Fatui, you don’t have to worry about them being afraid of your history!”

“How can I impress a person that’s seen much more in their life than the average audience?” His words make little sense, but Aether fights back a laugh; this was simply Lyney’s slow acceptance of this newfound information. He must truly hold you in high regard to worry about impressing you. 

“Your magic tricks impressed us,” Aether reminds him. “And we’ve fought a lot of enemies, and gods, including Y/N’s superior.”

Paimon agrees. “Mmhm! And Y/N even apologized to us afterwards, telling us to go easy on Childe after he… ah… The point is, they're nice despite working for that troublesome guy. So… cheer up?”

“I saw them wearing a rainbow rose in their hair the other day.” Aether adds. “That was yours, wasn’t it?”

As if conjuring the image straight into his mind, Lyney’s now covering his face for an entirely different reason. “They’re wearing it?” God, his cheeks are burning.

Why is it that every time he thinks of you, just the memory of your smile is enough to make his brain malfunction?

‘Brother, you know I care about you, but aren’t you worried you’ll never get anywhere if you’re not straightforward about your intentions?’

Perhaps it was time to take Lynette’s advice… and as she’s told him before, there are some things that they don’t have to handle alone, so long as they involve the right people.

- 

When you’re assigned to do an errand with another Fatuus in Fontaine, you didn’t think much of it. While you were capable of fighting and exploring on your own, diving underwater in a foreign nation was probably not a good idea for you to tackle by yourself.

What you didn’t expect however, was for Lyney to be said Fatuus; and your brain immediately makes the link back to Childe’s unusual tone earlier, telling you to take your time while investigating the underwater ruins. (And also to get a cool souvenir for his siblings, if you saw one.)

You’re understandably nervous after Lyney explained how to breathe underwater, saying that once you get used to it, diving in is easy. He’s quick to notice your apprehension even as you steel yourself to jump, repeating to yourself that this was for work.

“...But for now, it would be discourteous of me to just throw you into the deep end.” Lyney’s gaze grows soft, offering you his hand. You take it, trying not to look too relieved that he’s simply leading you in by walking from the shore. “Close your eyes, hold on to me… Alright. You can open them now.”

It’s beautiful underwater, is the first thing that comes to mind.

Lyney watches you fondly as you take in the sea around you; colorful plants, sea creatures roaming, and the wonderful sparkle of sunlight sifting in from the sky.

“It’s breathtaking,” he voices your thoughts, though his gaze is on something else closer to him. Lyney clears his throat, swimming forward, still holding your hand. “While I can’t take credit for this, it is quite a magical sight, no?”

Now that you’ve calmed down, you notice the faint elemental energy emanating from the both of you. The way his hat still manages to stay intact makes the corner of your lips tug. “It is. Thank you for your help.”

You’re about to release his hand now that you’ve found your balance, but Lyney is quick to pout. “You don’t want to keep holding on to me?”

“I don’t want to be a burden.” You laugh, untangling your fingers for the sake of practicality, then nudging his shoulder playfully before swimming off to explore. You can hear his chuckle from behind you as Lyney matches your speed, leading the way to the ruins which may hold clues about Fontaine’s fall.

It feels more like a rendezvous than a mission, to be honest. Lyney tells you stories about the times he and his siblings would come down here, and how Freminet was more familiar with diving, though he’s happy to be chosen to be here with you instead (at your poking, Lyney does admit that this might’ve been arranged with the help of one golden-haired traveler. You’ll have to thank Aether and Childe later on, you suppose.)

Your conversation falls short when your eyes land on an otter, immediately captivated by its cute form and the seashell between its paws. You try your best to maintain some professionalism, but it’s clear in the way you keep glancing back that you’d give anything to get closer and say hi.

With a gesture to get your attention, Lyney leads the way towards the otter, offering it a present to enter its good graces. It tilts its head at the romaritime flower in Lyney’s palm, which then begins to glow a warm amber from the inside with a gentle application of pyro.

Effectively charmed, the otter swims over curiously, making little noises as it flips around in excitement at the sight of the flower’s changing hues. It looked like a shifting sunrise, and you took the opportunity to perform a trick of your own using your vision, manipulating hydro to form tiny fishes that swam around the three of you.

How can Lyney put it… If it was possible to extend this period of time for an eternity, he’d be more than happy to live in this moment forever.

Underwater, there is no one to perform or keep facades for. And with you, a part of himself has always felt more at ease; as if it was fine to spend a moment not as the mystical magician he’s known and adored for. 

While he does enjoy seeing your eyes widen with awe at his magic, Lyney thinks it’s more dangerous for himself to become so relaxed in your presence. Just what would he do if he forgot to put his mask back on once you resurfaced, and the weight of water became too much for him to bear?

Maybe he can figure out a better way to memorialize this excursion; he’s heard quite a bit about preserving flowers in resin, so perhaps there’s also a way to add colors to the ornament to replicate underwater hues.

A few hours pass as you explore together, darting between shipwrecks and ruins, and the occasional battles with mechas or aggressive creatures. Somewhere along the fourth wave of mechanical enemies you were starting to wonder if Childe sent you to a dangerous spot on purpose to - as he might put it - ‘bond over battle’ and impress your crush.

While you certainly didn’t want Lyney to think you were useless in combat, every time you spearheaded an attack felt slightly performative as you destroyed the mechas. You felt like there was a gaze burning into your back. Not one of hidden assassins, but the magician who’d been oddly silent compared to his usual self; as if contemplating something. 

(It would take much provocation for Lyney to admit it was because you looked very cool, and he doesn’t know why he’s starting to get bashful about the way you expertly disposed of the enemies, vision singing with a wonderful glow. It’s almost like a dance - more graceful than violence was allowed to be.)

(In other words, he was trying not to speak unless he was sure his voice wouldn’t come off as unsteady, seeing as his mind was starting to blank at how attractively reliable you are.)

Perhaps if you were on land, Lyney might be quick to join in this little game of impressing one-another. But here, his arrows could only do so much. And while effective, pyro could not travel as far underwater compared to your element. 

He’s slowly realizing that without borrowing the abilities of hydro constructs around the ocean floor, he might’ve been fully assigned as the rescuable maiden in this situation.

While disenchanting, the thought also makes an idea spring into his mind. Before you could turn and tell him you were done gathering samples (and thus you could finally go back to the surface), Lyney casually tells you to hold on for a second, as there was something in your hair.

“Huh? But I didn’t feel anything—”

Surrounded by nothing but open space and marine treasures, Lyney steals your breath away with a kiss that ties a promise from his heart to your fingertips. He decided that so long as you were gracious enough to welcome his presence, he would fold to you like a flower opening its petals, enveloping you in his warmth whenever he could. 

Even with nothing to threaten you here, his hands snake around your waist and shoulder, pulling you closer as if to hide you from the light filtering from above; as if that would take you away from the illusions of magic that he so expertly crafts, for something more ‘real’.

It’s a kiss to tell you that this is real. This moment, the reasons behind his touch and glance, and the fact that he’d very willingly spend hours and hours at the bottom of the sea with you, no strings attached, without a complaint from his lips.

In fact, was it a little selfish for Lyney to enjoy monopolizing your attention in this way? Not having to fight against the bright colors and sounds of the beautiful court of Fontaine, with honest-but-lengthy endearments falling from his tongue as if stopping would mean one less second under your gaze?

You’d never once complained about his lack of talkativeness today, compared to his usual demeanor which presents himself like a spell to dazzle the senses. Never commented on his gestures that feel more gentle than luring; and though both parallels are true aspects of himself, he was starting to think you understood the grandiosity of his character. Lyney the Magician, who steals hearts and does the impossible.

Both statements were true, though perhaps in a more meaningful way now than in the eyes of the public. He can scarcely believe it himself whenever you return his affection, alert but not evasive of his approach.

A week later, a parcel arrives for you. It’s a glass orb with a rainbow rose at its center, with smaller pieces of romaritime petals surrounding it, like glitter falling on an angelic stage.

There are layered traces of pigment in the resin, reminding you of the day you spent underwater. Suppose it was largely successful of Lyney then, for your first thought to be that the rose reminded you of his charm. Not as a motif of allurement, but echoing the kind wishes behind his actions.

You always liked how the roses he’s made you associate with himself were not red, but pink. The latter suits him a lot more, in your humble opinion.

sex without love hurts