Rainy Days And Lists.

What you do speaks so loudly that I cannot hear what you say.

—  Ralph Waldo Emerson

26 . 01 . 16 // give me a shot to remember

tips for running away from home, from someone who did that:

don’t tell your abusers what you’re up to; they will put their energy into sabotaging you, for example, I was fairly clear about intending to move out, and my parents took great effort to convince me that it’s absolutely impossible for me to survive on my own, tried to take away my money by any means necessary, even getting me to sign a contract with a bank so i wouldn’t be able to access my money in there (luckily i didn’t put any of my money there to that scheme failed), and in the end they tried to convince me that any money i made freelancing will be stolen before i ever see it, and tried to prove that the money doesn’t even exist. it didn’t stop me but sure made me a lot more miserable than i should have been

don’t let your abusers know where you are, they will try to get to you; i ran away after an extreme violent outburst my parents threw at me, there was death threats, injuries, broken mobile phone i tried to use to film the violence, door taken away from my room, it was enough for anyone to get the hell away from a place, and when my mother found out my first hiding location she came to tell me that i have to think about why all of that was my fault. again, making me a lot more miserable than i should have been.

first few days (weeks) you’ll be in state of a shock, especially if you’ve been unsure if you’ll be able to get away; i couldn’t determine if i could function at all after escaping, my head was spinning, i had breakdowns every other day convinced that i’m about to die, it was due to the heavy brainwashing that made me believe that i was dead if i were to run away, there was no way to escape the fear and the torture of it, I hope not everyone is brainwashed this way but I do see a lot of people doubting if they have what it takes to go thru life without parents, and the answer is yes you do, you got it all.

your abusers will react in the way that will hurt you most; i know of some parents who aimed to injure their run away kid by pretending they could live just fine without them, like the child was a nuisance to their life and they were better without it, and in that case it was the most hurtful and cruel thing they could have done, since the child slaved their life away for the sake of acknowledgment and attention from parents. In my situation however, my parents kept acting their entire life like i was a huge burden and worthless waste of space, and it made me feel like if I were to run away they would let me be and pretend I never existed, and I would be free. However I was wrong. They contacted my friends, parents of my friends, entire outer family circle and anyone they knew to be in contact with me to make me feel guilty for leaving and tell me i was wrong and should come back, they found the person who sheltered me and convinced even them to tell me to return (this was the person who saw me after the violent attack, while i was shaking and out of my mind with fear, they saw me hide under the bed constantly convinced i was about to be killed, and this person was still convinced by my parents that i should go. back. to that.), they made their friends add me on facebook and request information about my whereabouts until i had a panic attack and deleted facebook, they kept on finding means to contact me and storm me with guilt and shame even after i cut every means of contact i knew, they still sometimes barge into the house of my friend demanding to get in contact with me, demanding that letters, food, even money be given to me that they leave there (it took me a while to figure out they would never ever give me money for the sake of my survival, but would absolutely use money to control and sabotage me) - all you can do is in any case, to be ready for the worst. Be ready for whatever you fear the most they would do - because they will do that. Make plans of resistance, plans of keeping yourself safe thru it, plans of retreat and safety if what they do makes you suicidal.

when you’re free, the trauma symptoms will go berserk at first; your entire system is experiencing protection from abuse for the first time (protection is abusers not knowing where you are or how to get to you), and this means you’ll finally be free to actually feel all the fear, panic, pain, anger, exhaustion, torture and everything else your body has been holding in all this time for the sake of surviving with abusers around. After I settled in my hiding place, I could barely get up for 8 months, panic attacks were almost daily, i couldn’t sleep from how strongly i felt i was about to be killed and punished for escaping, flashbacks and nightmares wouldn’t stop, chronic exhaustion and chronic pain were so bad I could barely move, it was draining my life energy just to make food for myself, and i could often not leave the place and go outside at all, and would get anxiety attacks around any kind of people. Only tip I have is to not feel guilty for resting. Don’t feel guilty for taking your time to recover, you need it, what is happening to you at this moment is recovery from a war, that lasted all of your life. You are wounded and tortured and you need rehabilitation and as much rest as you can get. I know it doesn’t feel good to just lie about and not get anything done, I know the guilt of not being productive, but lying down for almost a year made me feel shameless about resting and taking my time. It also helped me realize that causes of my chronic pain and chronic exhaustion were all the things i was forced to do against my will, basically anything abusers forced me to do, anything school related, and anything i was doing for well being of others and not myself. Resting allowed my natural will to do things to awaken, even though it took long, I now don’t have to force myself to move anymore, i can get up without thinking about it, doing things i want to do makes me more energetic rather than exhausted. So, no more doing things against your will, for anyone.

you will slowly find out just how much your abusers lied to you about the world. and trust me they lied to you a whole fucking lot. you will find out all the threats they made were empty, all their opinions and insults sent at you baseless and imaginary, all the doubts they planted into your mind, will start sounding ridiculous and stupid. A lot of abusers try to make their children incapable of making their own choices and fighting their battles and gathering knowledge about the world, so they would always feel like they can’t do anything on their own, and would turn to their parents for guidance, however, abusive parents while making choices and guidances for you, only thought about themselves and whatever is convenient for them, and not for you, which by default, makes you the person capable of making better choices, because for the first time, choices would be made for you, by you. Control over your life will feel good once you realize it’s not hard or scary, but gives you the power to do what you please, without having to respond to anyone.

there will always be people who will try to make you doubt your decision and blame you and take your abuser’s side, those people are wrong, and they are your enemies. From this point on, anyone who tries to make you doubt your decision to save your life is an enemy. Nobody should ever try to make you doubt if you could have done anything else but pick yourself up and save yourself from abusive environment. You can absolutely decide that those people are scum who would have you dead for their convenience, and turn your back on them.

I don’t have any financial advice, because i only ran away after earning enough money to not end up homeless, and I just did it by freelancing over the internet, which is something my abusers didn’t expect me to be capable of, so they failed to sabotage me on time, they however did make sure to throw abuse my way every time i was doing good and achieving something, but i stubbornly kept working until it got me out.

Conclusion: running away is fucking hard, you lose your family, in some cases all of your relatives as well, you lose your heritage more often than not, your use your security and backup in life, your life just ceases to be what it was and turns into something completely new. You gain: yourself, your freedom, your life, your sanity, your health, your personhood, a chance to heal and recover, a chance to experience life as it should have been. Absolutely. Worth It.

Psychology is crazy overwhelming but so interesting. I wish I could major in such a fascinating field but I need something that I can obtain more connection and success with. This is one of the subjects where my motivation and organization skills are on point, I hope I can feel this passion with other subjects. (IG POST) 

Introduction to LaTeX!

No, not the rubbery plasticy stuff

LaTeX (pronounced “lay-tech”) is a free document-formatting system commonly used in STEM fields. This post is going to explain why it is really useful and where you can start!

So if you’re a STEM student, you’ve probably had to write a whole lot of lab reports and know how annoying it is to either figure out Word’s equation editor or screenshot a picture of whatever equation you’re trying to include in your report. Not to mention how awful Word is at formatting pictures, holding them in place and keeping things consistent. LaTeX solves most of those problems for you.

It works with some simple commands and packages that allow you to create journal-style articles, lab reports, and all sorts of other document types. You can include all sorts of mathematical and scientific symbols and equations and LaTeX formats them correctly for you. It might seem daunting at first, but most of the commands are very intuitive and you have a lot of easy customisation and consistent formatting. It can even do referencing for you. It has a lot of other cool things like generating a table of contents, automatically numbering your tables and figures, that contribute to producing a professional-looking scientific document.

All in all, the learning curve is very shallow, and the skill payoff is worth the small time investment it takes to learn. LaTeX typesetting is a very valuable skill to have in STEM.

Where to start:

There are dozens of downloadable LaTeX text editors, but I prefer to use an online one called Overleaf. It has several templates available for you to start from, provides shareable links, renders your document as you work, and, because it’s online, you can upload all your files to the server and work from anywhere.

I found the first chapter of this guice very helpful when I began using LaTeX  [x].

Some random tips I picked up so far:

1) Most problems/errors are easy to solve with a quick google search. Because LaTeX is so widely used, there are a LOT of stack exchange solutions to small problems. 

2) Manually creating LaTeX tables is a nightmare. It’s usually easiest to make them first in Excel, then copy-and-paste into an online LaTeX table generator.

3) Lots of journal articles have a pre-formatted bibtex citation linked somewhere. Using that citation works really well.

4) I like to open a text file, copy-and-paste all my bibtex formatted citations into it and convert it into a .bib file by renaming.

Some other useful links:

~LaTeX table generator [x]

~LaTeX reference generator [x]

~Find the LaTeX command for any symbol that you draw [x]

~List of mathematical symbols for LaTeX [x]

~LaTeX Stack Exchange [x]

I hope you find this helpful! If you have any questions, don’t hesitate to send me an ask or a message. Check out my study instagram if you’re keen on seeing some of my studyspo. Happy studying!

xx Munira

10/09/2017

this week’s spread :)

Some useful phrases for discursive/persuasive essays in Spanish!! [french here]

INTRODUCTION 

Voy a escribir sobre el tema de… — I am going to write about the topic of… 

Voy a discutir — I am going to discuss 

No hay [noun] que se pueda comparar a [noun] — No [noun] can be compared to [noun] 

Debido la influencia de… — Due to the influence of… 

En nuestra sociedad — In our society 

Hoy en día — Nowadays 

Como nunca antes — Like never before 

Ha desarollado considerablemente durante los últimos # años — Has developed considerably over the last # years

Ventaja  — Advantage

Desventaja  — Disadvantage

 ANALYSIS 

A raíz de — As a result of 

Se extienden desde … hasta … — Range from … to … 

La razón por la que… — The reason why… 

 Algunas investigaciones han mostrado que… — Some studies have shown that… 

Formar parte clave de — To form a key part of 

Esto apunto a — This points to 

Las tasas de — The rate of 

Aumentar  — To increase

Se caracteriza por — Is characterised by 

Se fundamenta en — Is founded upon 

Un repunte de  — A rise in/surge in (the quantity of sth)

 EVALUATION 

Estoy de acuerdo — I agree 

Si tuviera que decir, diría que… — If I had to say, I’d say that… 

Si debiera elegir, elegiría… — If I had to choose, I’d pick… 

 Que yo sepa — As far as I know 

Que yo recuerde — As far as I remember 

Si yo fuese ell@s — If I were them 

Si estuviese en su pellejo — If I were in their position 

Vale la pena agregar que… — It’s worthwile adding that… 

… aparte, — Aside from …/…aside

 CONCLUSION 

Para concluir — To conclude 

En suma — To summarise 

Es (crucial/esencial/importante) que [+subjunctive] — It is (crucial/essential/important) that 

Lo ideal sería que [+imperfect subjunctive] — Ideally

ADJECTIVES

Expressing importance and benefit: Importante, crucial, esencial, vital, influyente, concluyente, decisivo, beneficioso, eficaz (plural: eficaces)

Expressing risk/disapproval: Peligroso, perjudicial, erróneo, arriesgado, equivocado  

Ariel did not simply ‘give [her] voice up for a man.’

Since childhood, Ariel has been among my favorite Disney princesses. I connect with her deeply – and whenever someone (like Keira Knightley recently) brings up the old line that she is a ‘bad role model’ for young girls because she ‘gives up her voice for a man,’ my heart breaks. 

That reading of Ariel’s character is reductive and inaccurate.

Everyone always mentions that Ariel was interested in the human world before meeting Eric, but not as many people point out how radical that makes her in the context of her own society.

Ariel lives in a society that is xenophobic towards humans, Triton at various points calls them “barbarians,” “savage,” and “incapable of any real feeling.” She lives in a society that constantly tells her that her interest in the human world is wrong and bad, something she struggles with at the start of Part of Your World: 

By seeking a fuller understanding of the human world, Ariel actively challenges her father’s xenophobia, thinking for herself instead of accepting her society’s fears and prejudices.

The film goes out of its way to establish Ariel as an outsider within her own society. Think for a moment about the opening lines of Part of Your World: 

Look at this stuff. Isn’t it neat? Wouldn’t you think my collection’s complete? Wouldn’t you think I’m the girl The girl who has everything? Look at this trove, Treasures untold How many wonders can one cavern hold? Lookin’ around here you’d think Sure, she’s got everything…

People who criticize Ariel so often mis-characterize her as simply a spoiled teenager. The very statement, “She gave up her voice for a man!” implies she’s a foolish girl who throws her life and agency away in a fit of pique.   

 Yet, the opening of Part of Your World anticipates that certain members of the audience will have a superficial understanding of Ariel’s pain and directly addresses that. On a superficial level, Ariel does seem like “the girl who has everything.” She is the daughter of the most important merman in Atlantica, she has countless treasures hidden away in her grotto…

But that’s the thing, you see. They’re hidden in her grotto. Ariel may be the daughter of the sea-king, but the sea-king hates and fears humanity. Part of Your World is the most heartbreaking rebuttal to anyone who sees Ariel as a shallow teenager because it shows how alone she truly is. Except for Flounder, she has no one under the sea she can genuinely confide in. (She confides in Sebastian, of course, but he was sent by her father to spy on her and he does betray her trust – by mistake, but he does). Her sisters and the rest of Atlantica presumably do not question the prejudices that cause the human world to be forbidden to the sea folk.

Ariel is an outcast, forced to hide who she is from the people who should love her unconditionally.

The more Part of Your World goes on, the more devastating and resonant Ariel’s collection of artifacts becomes.

These artifacts represent a void in her life and, at the same time, are the only means she has of filling that void.

She longs to have knowledge, but her society imposes ignorance on her. She longs to see the human world herself, to ask questions and finally be answered – but it is all denied her. The imposed ignorance forces her to live vicariously through the artifacts she collects.

She cannot see a couple dancing, so she must content herself with a music box.

She can only experience the shadow of fire on oil and canvas.

Her collection perpetually reminds her that there is a world beyond her reach. At the same time, it is her central way of interacting with that world. Yes, she can go up to to the surface and talk to Scuttle, but her collection is something so much more personal. These are items she saved from the ruins of ships, sometimes at the risk of her own life… so she could study them, learn from them, and lament the unjust rules of her society that prevent her from learning more…

Her courage, her curiosity, her thirst for knowledge are all bound up in these precious possessions.

And yes, they are objects. Yes, she wants more than a collection of objects. But this collection is all she has. And, as far as Ariel knows, it is all she will ever have…

When you’re all but alone in the world and you have only meager scraps to cling to, those scraps mean the world to you.

And, I remind you, Ariel cannot even openly enjoy her collection of scraps, the shadows of a world she cannot touch. She has to hide even them, guard them, keep them secret.

Ariel’s grotto is a place of solace and security where she can be herself without fear of judgment.

There is a reason the destruction of Ariel’s grotto harrowed me more as a child than any other scene in a Disney film. I could hardly watch it. I hid my face. I begged my family to skip scene. I was reduced to a sobbing mess. On a personal level, it harrowed me more than the destruction of Cinderella’s dress.   

That reason is because, in watching the scene, I felt the pain of a place of refuge being invaded.

By the time we reach the destruction of the grotto, we are as emotionally invested in Ariel’s collection as she is because we see that the objects are more than objects. They are extensions of herself, encapsulating all her feelings of hope and hopelessness.

Destroying those items is like annihilating a part of her soul.

That is why I hate the “she gave up her voice for a man” line of thought so much. Because it so blatantly disregards the context of the film. Because it paints Ariel as a shallow teenager. Because it places blame for what follows solely on Ariel’s shoulders and absolves Triton of any wrongdoing.

I want to tread carefully here because, like Ariel, Triton is a nuanced and complex character. He has good intentions and cares about his youngest daughter. 

Yet, even a well-intentioned individual can be in the wrong. Even an individual who is right about certain things (Ariel is indeed impetuous and reckless at times – though I hope my analysis reminds readers that those are not her sole character traits), can be wrong about other things.

And Triton’s confrontation with Ariel highlights his failings and his faults.

Look at Ariel’s face when she first sees her father in the grotto:

The enhancement of expression in animation allows the audience to clearly see the fear in her face.

Triton has created an environment where his own daughter is afraid of him.

No parent should do that to their child.

Confronting Ariel, Triton says, “I consider myself a reasonable merman. I set certain rules and I expect those rules to be obeyed.”

On one level, Triton is right to expect his children to respect the rules he sets in place.

 What I feel Triton misses, however, is that respect is not the same as intimidation.

Since Triton wants Ariel to accept his rules based solely on his authority as her father, he makes it impossible for there to be any communication between himself and his daughter.

This dynamic means that he will not listen to Ariel even when Ariel is in the right and he is not. Children should listen to their parents, but in the same way, parents should listen to their children.

Triton may be in the right to worry about his daughter’s safety, but his fear is still born of bigotry – bigotry that Ariel recognizes and rejects.

Triton, after all, grows angry at his daughter because she wouldn’t let another living being die. He specifically calls her out because she “rescued a human from drowning.” When Ariel counters that allowing someone helpless to miserably drown is cruel, he shuts her down with: 

When Ariel points out the illogical nature of her father’s brutal line of thought and says, “You don’t even know him!”, Triton responds:    

Even if a viewer is largely sympathetic to Triton, that viewer cannot ignore Triton’s prejudice in this moment.

He generalizes millions of people.

And if the rules he sets down include the tacit understanding, “Let innocents die because, by virtue of their humanity, their lives have no value,” then maybe those rules deserve to be broken. Maybe those rules need to be changed. 

Ariel may be a teenager, but she is wiser than her father here.

(Also, can I say that Ariel’s body language here breaks my heart every time I see it? She’s swimming away from her father, recoiling… 

…until she’s cowering behind Eric’s statue. She looks like she’s about to cry as her father pours forth more vitriol… 

…and after she bursts out with the exclamation, “Daddy, I love him!”, she’s terrified that she’s said it.)

Triton believes that he alone is in the right and destroys the grotto because he feels it is “the only way” to “get through to” his daughter. He believes he must be cruel only to be kind.  

Yet, in the end…

…he only succeeds…

…in being cruel.

Triton’s unwillingness to listen to his daughter – his unwillingness to treat her with the same respect he demands of her – only widens the gulf between them.

 Ariel does not go to the sea-witch because she has been mooning over a man.

Ariel goes to the sea-witch because she has no voice in her own home. Becoming human, she gains the ability to live life on her own terms. Becoming human, she ironically gains the voice she has been denied for so long.

Ariel goes to the sea-witch because her father sends a message to her – a message that she does not matter, that there is no place for someone like her in Atlantica.

Triton may never have meant to send that message, but send it, he did… and he should be held accountable for that.

Indeed, the film does hold him accountable for that.

After destroying the grotto, Triton realizes he has done a horrible thing.

Look into his eyes after Ariel falls to weeping:  

Look at the regret in his eyes. Look at the remorse. He knows he has gone too far. He never meant to hurt his daughter like this.

And when Ariel vanishes from Atlantica, Triton takes responsibility for his actions. What does he say when his daughter cannot be found? Does he say, “What folly has my daughter gotten herself into now?”

No. He says: 

Simply saying that Ariel ‘gave up [her] voice for a man’ ignores the painful complexity of the situation in which she finds herself. It ignores the depth of her motivation. It ignores Triton’s culpability. It ignores her best character traits and only highlights her flaws (and yes, she has flaws, for she is a multifaceted, well-written character.)

But Ariel’s rejection of prejudice, her ability to see beauty in a group that nearly everyone around her demonizes, her courage and determination and love, are all venerable traits…     

…and Ariel’s courage, determination, and love are what inspire Triton to open his heart and change.

Some people say that The Little Mermaid is more Triton’s story than Ariel’s. I disagree and feel that assessment unfairly dismisses Ariel’s emotional journey. Triton has a compelling arc in the film – but that arc is only set in motion because of Ariel’s agency.      

He learns from his daughter’s example.

He grows because of her.

Why don’t we talk more about Ariel, the young woman who always challenged her father’s prejudice? Why don’t we talk more about Ariel, who actively spoke out about the flaws she saw in her society? Why don’t we talk more about Ariel, whose actions helped change that society for the better? Why don’t we talk more about Ariel, who formed a bridge between two worlds and enacted positive change?

Why don’t we talk more about that Ariel?

I know Ariel can be impulsive, but she is sixteen years old, and her impulsiveness only makes her character realistic. She makes mistakes but, like her father, she owns up to those mistakes and learns from them:

There are critics of Ariel’s character who want to make the story of The Little Mermaid black and white. Because Triton recognizes Ariel’s impulsiveness, they ignore Triton’s faults and trivialize Ariel.

Yet, the story the film presents is not so black and white. Ariel and Triton are not so one-dimensional.

They both learn from each other and grow together.     

This embrace is so meaningful because, by the end of the film, Triton finally shows Ariel the same respect he asks of her and in so doing, he earns her respect.

Ariel, meanwhile, recognizes her own mistakes and gains a new appreciation for her father.

The Little Mermaid is a beautiful film and Ariel is a brave, inspiring, complex heroine. 

i was terrified of doing this in undergrad, and now that i’m asked to write them fairly often, i am fondly exasperated when my students don’t know how to ask for them. obviously there’s no single way, but here’s the way i usually do it.

(obviously ask in person if you can! but email is also fine.)

THE FIRST EMAIL

should be short & should mainly be asking whether they’re willing to write you the letter

should provide only the basics - what the professor absolutely needs to know.

the position you’re applying for

when the letter would be due

optional: if you’re afraid they won’t remember you, a quick line identifying yourself & your relation to them

i like to provide an “out,” in case they don’t want to or are unable to write the letter

SAMPLE Dear Professor X, I’m applying for a job as an English tutor at the University Student Resource Center, and was wondering if you’d be willing to write me a letter of recommendation for the position. [optional identification: I really enjoyed taking English 300 with you in Winter 2016, and I’m hoping to develop and pass on those skills to other students through this job.] The letter would be due by September 1st - I know you’re very busy, so I completely understand if you’re not able to write one.  All best, Your Name

THE SECOND EMAIL

they said yes!! amazing.

this one can provide a little more information – a link to the job posting, if there is one, or you can write a quick summary of the position, plus a sentence or two about why you’re excited/interested in the job.

also tell them where to send the letter!! 

directly to the recruiter for the job

to you, to add to your application packet

upload to an online LoR service or to an application website

99% of the time folks are fine with receiving electronic copies, but if they need to mail a hard copy, let them know up front.

SAMPLE: Dear Professor X, Thank you so much! I really appreciate it. Here’s the link to the job listing; the letter should be sent as a .pdf file to the email address at the bottom of the page, anytime before 9/1. Thanks again – I’m hoping that this job will provide me with some teaching experience and the opportunity to work on my own writing. Please let me know if you need any more information! Best,  Your Name

WHEN TO SEND A FOLLOW-UP

these stress me out real bad but here’s the deal: most professors have a very shaky relationship to deadlines (especially when they have half a dozen more important ones than your piddly LoR). 

the upshot: do not be afraid to nudge them. 

often they need the nudge and are appreciative of it.

when that nudge happens is up to you and how much room you’ve given them before the deadline, and it’ll look different depending on your relationship with that professor.

GRAD SCHOOL LETTERS

i offered to send my professors essays that i had written for their classes, especially if i had taken those classes more than a year before asking them to write the letter, just so they could refamiliarize themselves with my work. you can also offer to send them your writing sample, if you haven’t already asked them to look it over for you.

honestly i’d recommend asking for these in person bc it’ll give you a chance to talk to them about their grad school experience and your own hopes & aspirations, which will help them write a more personal, fleshed-out letter.

one important note: if this letter is intended for use in grad school applications, do not stress out if it’s a little late. most programs do not care, and pretty much all of them accept late letters without a problem. your professor’s ability to meet deadlines does not reflect on you, and professors are intimately familiar with running late on LoRs. they really honestly don’t care. as long as it gets there before too long, you’ll be fine.

thank-yous are up to you! keep in mind that many departments have policies about gift-giving. i did give thank-yous to my three major letter writers, but they were handwritten cards & homemade cookies, nothing store-bought or expensive.

hey!! as a high school senior in the middle of college apps, i figured i could give some tips on the process for my fellow classmates & any underclassmen trying to start early (pro tip: start as early as you can!) so yeah, here are my tips for teacher recs, the first post in my college apps guide series!

choosing your teachers:

choosing who should write your recommendation can be a stressful process, but it’s the first step! whoever you choose depends on a lot of factors, including: how well they know you personally, how well they know you academically, and how well they know what you’ve done & what you do. also, oftentimes colleges require teachers of specific subjects depending on your major, so keep that in mind too. it can be very beneficial to have a teacher who teaches in the field of your chosen major so they can give a perspective on your academic success in that subject.

generally colleges take two recommendations, so it’s important to make sure that your rec letters are a good blend of perspectives and that they are not going to be the same letter. two similar recs are not effective, and you may as well send in one. so when choosing your teachers, make sure that they can bring varying points of view to your letter of rec.

a teacher may know you well academically and personally, or know what you’ve done and who you are, so if possible, you want to get all three perspectives within your two recs, and it’s ok if one of them is repeated. however, the one thing you don’t want is a teacher whose class you didn’t do to great in, even if they know you well. i would personally say to completely rule out that kind of teacher, but if they know you 100% and have seen you grow and change, then i suppose that rec may be viable- but it’s still not the best idea.

requesting your recs:

this is a pretty formal process, so you don’t want to mess up too terribly. you’re essentially asking your teachers to tell a college why it should accept you, so you want to approach them very tactically.

unless you’re asking them over the summer, approach them in person. this establishes that you care enough about their rec that you can meet with them & reminds them of who you actually are so you’re more than just a name asking for a recommendation.

be nice & throw in the compliments (but not too many). you want to sound as genuine as possible, so lay it thick but not too thick. tell them you loved their class & why you loved their class.

and then mention that you’re applying to colleges this fall and would be honored if they could write a rec for you.

those are the basics. a lot of people also give gifts to their teachers, either when asking for a rec or sometimes after. this isn’t absolutely necessary, but it’s a nice gesture and makes them happy!

what to provide:

even if a teacher knows you well, it makes things a lot easier for the both of you if you put a majority of your info on paper. many teachers or schools provide forms for you to fill out, but if they don’t, here’s what you could give them:

a resume, with enough descriptions of positions you’ve held & things you’ve done for them to get the whole picture

a brag sheet, covering your activities, grades, plans for the future, obstacles you’ve overcome, what you’d like them to highlight, etc… basically put everything you want them to know about you.

whatever you provide them with, make sure it also has: some of your grades or gpa on it, the colleges you’re applying to, and your intended major (if you’re undecided then just let them know you’re undecided)

time!! time is so important. teachers have lives and other things to do, and you’re asking a huge favor when requesting a recommendation, so please keep time in mind, especially if you’re applying early somewhere! they should at least have 2-3 weeks to write your rec (at least!)

also remember an envelope with postage stamp and all that jazz if they’re mailing the rec letter in. and if you’re requesting a rec online, make sure you actually send in that request. even if you’ve asked them for a rec, that request is your responsibility.

other things to do:

check in with your teachers some time after you’ve asked them for a rec, especially if you’ve electronically requested one, to make sure everything’s reached them.

stay friendly with them, try to smile if you see them in the halls, just be a nice person in general. once again, they’re telling a college why it should take you. you want to make a continuously good impression!

++ a lot of these tips apply for counselor recs too! your counselor pretty much knows they’re writing a rec for you, but you definitely want to make that request (online or in person if that’s how it’s done) and check up with them + make sure you’re nice to them and they know you. they should be able to recognize your face & know some of what you’ve done around the school.

more masterposts!!

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algebra (I + II)

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(ap) chemistry

ap world history

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i think there’s an important process to know for teacher recs & i hope i covered everything in enough detail! recs are a very important part of your application, so please don’t push them to the side! anyway, i hope this helps!! keep shining like the star you are and remember to be awesome today!!

- Aza