Every Nightwing Writer Of The Last Fifteen Years: I've Taken The Guy Famous For Being Regarded As One

Dick Grayson's curse is that everyone will love him at his best but nobody will be there next to him when he's at his worst.

Do you think Sakura will get power up ? Yk his fights conclusion against top tiers are so disappointing> his opponents gave up or his friends help him .... They call him plot armor fighter on TikTok 😕

I'm going to be so real with you- no, I don't think Sakura is going to get a power up. At least, not in the way most anime series do it. Not in the way that people engaging with Wind Breaker as a fighting anime are hoping he will. The points in the story where people are training to get stronger are montages, depicted to show how everyone's putting everything into becoming strong enough to protect what's important to them, it's not about leveling up their fighting style or coming up with the one big move that's going to win them their next battle. Wind Breaker's just not that show, and it never has been. Sakura's climatic fights are never actually about him being stronger than the other person. Imma pull out that Kotoha panel from the very beginning, especially since Kotoha and Umemiya are the characters through which the fundamental points of the show are given to us.

So let's talk about Sakura's "disappointing" climatic fights. Yes, Sakura doesn't actually win these. His opponents concede. Why? BECAUSE FIGHTING SAKURA HAS MADE THEM REALIZE SOMETHING ABOUT THEMSELVES THAT CHANGES IN THAT MOMENT, and thus they no longer see a reason to keep fighting Sakura. Let's start with the first one, Togame Jo (🥰💖✨💕✨ Let it be known I LOVE TOGAME'S CHARACTER SO MUCH). Why Togame throws his fight against Sakura is definitely the one that's easier to understand. Togame has been trying to desperately keep Shishitoren together despite the fact that their leader was shattering into pieces for so long. He was feeding the words that would keep people in the group despite Choji's cut-throat new policy of "If you are weak, if you lose a fight, you're out. You're worthless and an obstacle to my dream of being free and having fun." Up until Choji's breaking point, the little guy was Shishitoren's sun. He was this shining bright light that could put a smile on any of the guys' faces and spoke so easily and freely about how they were all in this race together to become stronger and they would be the freest people in the world. Togame didn't want Shishitoren to lose that, to lose that Choji, so he tried to take the fall. He was new to being included into people's social groups, he was never as outgoing or lively as Choji. He could be the bad guy. He was okay with that.

He had to convince himself he was okay with that, and tied (up his hair) himself to that vow that he wouldn't give up on the sun. Going so far as to put tinted glasses on to convince himself that the old Choji was still there..... somewhere. But what happens during his fight with Sakura? Togame realizes what he did was wrong, and things were never going to get better continuing they way they were. He shouldn't have let Choji change who he was, he shouldn't have let Choji change the rules of their race for power and freedom, he shouldn't have just bowed his head in order to stay by Choji's side.

But, if he what he was doing was wrong... If what he was doing was only letting Choji continue to suffer, feeling confused and alone, then... why were doing this stupid tournament fight against Furin? Why would he fight to help Choji have claim over both Shishitoren AND Furin? That wasn't going make Choji happier. And Choji realizing getting Furin didn't change anything would only make his mental state worse too.

Togame's heart wasn't in the fight. He didn't want to do all of this anymore. He was realizing everything they were doing was wrong, and more than anything else he was just. so. tired. Of pretending to be someone he wasn't. Of trying so hard to keep the broken shards who were once his friends together through lies and cruelty. So he throws the match. He lets Sakura land the punch and then says he gives up and can't move anymore. And what was it that made Togame realize all of this?

Sakura's declaration that he would never let others bend or change who he is at the top of his lungs. Of course, Sakura's words come from his past experiences and having people repeatedly tell him he should cover up who he was. That he should be ashamed of things that Sakura couldn't change about himself. But Sakura's words and refusal to waver or falter resonated with Togame. Yes, Umemiya laughed that Sakura thought what he meant by 'have a conversation with your fists' meant Sakura would hear words coming out of his punches. What DID happen during the fight though, was they both exchanged what their beliefs were, and Sakura called Togame the fuck out for lying to himself. That his actions wasn't what he was preaching. He was calling him out for being delusional about what his actions were going to achieve. If Togame wasn't struggling with his inner turmoil and was actually fighting with his whole heart, his whole BEING in the fight, could he have won? YEAH, PROBABLY. Sakura at this point was just some poor freshman kid who has picked fights with guys randomly on the streets for a good portion of his life. But Sakura puts all of who he is in a fight, at this point in the story Sakura fights because he thinks his life depends on it. He truly believes that fighting is the only way he can find anything of worth within himself. It would have been impossible for Togame to fight with that amount of will. And THAT'S why Sakura won.

Now, let's talk about Sakura's fight with Endo. Right off the bat, yes- other characters (including TOGAME HIMSELF) comment on how much Sakura has grown in such little time when they are watching him fight Endo. But listen, you're going to have to trust me when I say I don't think what's really being said here is that Sakura's PHYSICAL STRENGTH is so much greater. Why is Sakura leagues above where he was when he fought with Togame? Because at that point Sakura was still fighting for himself. In his fight against Endo? Sakura isn't fighting for himself. He couldn't give a SHIT about himself (Which- 😭). He's fighting because with every fiber in his being, he desperately wants to protect and keep Furin standing. Everything they've done for him; the kindness and care that they've extended to him. Everything Umemiya's gone through and fought for to make sure that his hometown could be a place where everyone can feel welcomed and laugh and eat in good company; to make sure no one feels like it's them alone against the whole world. Sakura would rather DIE than see that Furin get destroyed.

Just like Togame, Endo isn't necessarily fighting for himself either. He's fighting so Takiishi, the person he loves and worships the ground he walks on, can be happy. The difference here? Takiishi doesn't really give Endo the time of day. Now, I wouldn't go so far as to say Takiishi doesn't care about Endo at all, he calls Endo by his name too at the end of the war, but the fact that he did so STUNNED Endo. Because Endo himself didn't think Takiishi gave two shits about him. But Endo had decided he was okay with that. Convinced himself that that didn't matter. He didn't love Takiishi for being kind or friendly. He thought Takiishi covered in blood and looking beautiful when fighting was hot (and I think there was also a feeling of kinship from Endo in recognizing they both felt so different and couldn't connect with other people in the world)

Endo feels ALONE in his love, even if he's with Takiishi physically. Even if he goes everywhere Takiishi goes and gives the man his whole being. Endo doesn't have a place he feels he belongs because he doesn't think he has been let into Takiishi's world, and that's the only place he wants to be. The Furin of the past too was very likely people who felt alone in the world. So they lashed out, picked fights with everyone, because they had similar frustrations and perspectives to Sakura when he first arrived to Makochi. So why does Endo throw his fight against Sakura? Because Sakura (to Endo's frustration because he was so close to convincing Sakura to leave Furin if it meant he and Takiishi would also leave. Withdrawing all the other fighters in the town wouldn't stop Takiishi from getting that fight with Umemiya at that point) decided, no, he would rather die than leave this little family he's been welcomed into. For whatever reason, everyone else decided Sakura was worthy and deserved to be a part of their family. He would hurt them more by deciding to stop fighting and just agree to leave Furin than he would by losing his fight against Endo. So what change did Sakura make in Endo? Well there was the fact that the way Sakura was fighting reminded Endo of Takiishi. But.... -

So what is so vastly different about Sakura fighting here than all the times Endo has watched Takiishi fight? You can see what it is reflected in Endo's eye in the page above. Why is Sakura fighting different here than when he first showed up and started fighting Endo? Because he realized in talking with Endo that HE is the threat against Furin. Not Takiishi. I think a part of Sakura was stressed about the fact that Takiishi was fighting Umemiya already on the roof. Sakura didn't know that this whole "war" idea, threatening the civilians of Makochi, pulling in so many people to beat down Furin and the town, ALL OF IT wasn't even about a conflict of ideals of what Furin should be. It was because ENDO wanted Takiishi to be able to fight Umemiya. That's it. There was NO REASON TO EVEN INVOLVE ANYONE ELSE. People were getting hurt, LIVES WERE IN DANGER, all because Endo thought it would be fun to go about it this way. Fun to tear apart Umemiya's dream project (also because Endo fucking loathes Umemiya). My point is, Sakura sole attention, sole reason for standing on his two feet is to STOP ENDO. Everything else has faded away into the background for Sakura. It is the OPPOSITE of what Endo feels from Takiishi. Endo has never been on the receiving end of such intense emotion from someone. Hilariously enough? This means technically Sakura's emotions got through to Endo. In a... twisted way, but Endo is a twisted, fucked up guy.

To Endo the only way he was going to win this fight was either killing Sakura or convincing Sakura to come with him and Takiishi. So Endo could keep Sakura with him. But Sakura wasn't going to stop when he couldn't fight anymore. He wasn't going to accept his physical limit, and he wasn't going to leave to come back another day and give Endo another euphoria-inducing fight. Endo is physically stronger than Sakura. If Wind Breaker was just about whoever is physically stronger in a fight winning, then yes, Endo would have won. But Endo didn't want to kill Sakura, because that would probably mean never again feeling someone capable of eventually being his equal in fighting and also directing that level of intense attention on him again.

Endo fell in love with Sakura. It's different than his love for Takiishi, and it's still fucked up and twisted, but ENDO DIDN'T WANT TO KILL SAKURA! And Sakura was either going to take down Endo or die trying. He would have kept fighting Endo until it killed him. But also, thematically, Sakura's resolve (a resolve that is backed by so many people, a resolve that proves he is not alone in the world) was never going to lose to Endo, who felt alone. Who was fighting for something alone.

I don't need Sakura to get a power up and win his fights with his physical strength. The entire point of Sakura in these big fights is to have a conversation with these people. To make a connection with them. Because no one is undeserving of personal connections. It's why even though Sakura (rightfully) thinks Endo is insane, he's still willing to be a friend to Endo. If Endo doesn't have someone who'll eat a meal with him, and he wants to hang out with Sakura? Then yeah, Sakura is going to accept Endo for who he is and sure, visit the guy to grab lunch or something, whatever. Because Sakura is adopting Umemiya's resolve, his perspective, and puts importance in making sure everyone can laugh and have a good meal with good company.

C: Hi there! Even if I've been reading dick Grayson(and in turn batfamily) fics for a few weeks now, I've never actually watched/read DC stuff because even if I liked superheroes, I'm not invested enough to read the actual comics. The most I watched was the Teen Titans 2003 cartoon(which I love). I was brought into interest cause I was brought in through crossovers of other fandoms (which may be hated by some/many😅)

To give myself context, I tried to read around for Robin, and imagine my surprise there's more than one? Which, okay mantle thing I guess. But in the end, Dick Grayson caught my attention(not rlly for his looks and design, but more of his heroism and entire personality and affect in the DC world). Which leads to looking at other tumblrs and I love reading yours and when you answer the asks cause it's so much easier for me to understand the kind of person Dick is and how he interacts with the world.

Sorry for this long context, but I just want maybe your opinion, what if your opinion in the combination of how Dick Grayson should be written for him to Thrive

- Should he stay in Gotham, being in with the batfamily more? Soloing in Bludhaven? Staying with the titans? Or others?

- what about his romantic relationships? Who should be is one true one(based on canon gfs), or maybe stay single? (Just gonna be biased, but I've only knew about dickbabs and dickkory (but I heard he has other girlfriends and I've remember reading he was almost married...a few times??) but dickkory had always been for me)

- What about mentally wise? (Of course, I do think Dick needs a long vacation because of all the trauma that he has to go through), but even if I like the idea of Dick being admired for his looks because he deserves it, but I do rmbr posts that he is uncomfy with this(sexualisation, Def only staying true to the person he loves (then there's the whole...Tarantula and more thing)

Tbf, I do think is a little bit of all is what makes Dick, Dick. Haha

Sorry for the long ask, feel free to not answer because i just needed to get this out😅. I know it's actually bad I'm reading fics without canon knowledge for personality, but your posts makes me understand him more that I understand what's real and what's fanon in fics (that makes me..ugh.. but I read anyway for plot cause i don't know better)

But thank you anyway for reading this and I love your content!

(last one for this ask I swear: I've been seeing stuff where Robin name is actually Dick's mom calling Dick that. Then it's passed down as a mantle starting from Jason without Dick consenting. I tried to read at wiki, maybe I missed out but I can't find anything. Is it true? Does the other bats (except Bruce and Alfred?) know the actual meaning? Because as much as I love Dami, the whole bloodson, birthright to take the mantle of Robin beside Batman give me ugh feelings if it's true) :C

First of all, thank you so much!! I'm so happy to hear you like my stuff <333!!

I think it's that you started in the fandom since I sort of started out that way too lol. I had only watched Teen Titans Animated show and Young Justice before I got into fanfics and my first comic I ever read was actually Teen Titans (2011) which was Tim's run. It's been a journey.

Dick's personality was also what captivated me so here I am!

"Should he stay in Gotham, being in with the batfamily more? Soloing in Bludhaven? Staying with the titans? Or others?"

That's a really good question and a complex one. Ironically, for being such a people person, Dick seems to be doing best when he's by himself. When he's soloing, he has a sense of freedom and independence that he's been craving for a long time. The whole reason he left Bruce was because he felt like Bruce was suddenly treating him like a kid, like someone to look after, when he had been treating Dick like a partner the whole time. When Dick feels like his independence is being stepped on, it unsettles him. This is another reason why the Tom Taylor run and Dick's relationship pisses me off but that's for another time. As much as he likes Gotham, he loves Bludhaven. He thinks it's a dirty, crime-filled city, sure, but he loves it there.

He's a little crazy like that.

He doesn't have the same attachment to Gotham that Bruce does. Instead he feels that for Bludhaven.

The only reason I'm saying Dick is better off staying alone than with the Titans is because of his leadership mentality. There's a comic that I forgot the name of but Dick teams up with members of the Justice League and they trapeze through a jungle under the orders of this corrupt military general. He teams up with Arthur and automatically starts commanding people to which Aquaman tells him off, saying this isn't the Titans. Dick is genuinely sorry and backs off. For a minute. But immediately goes right back into command mode but Arthur lets it go, realizing that Dick's not conscious of it and that his behaviour is automatic. "Too many leaders" he calls the situation in his head. For Dick, the Titans have become a responsibility now. He loves them like crazy but they look up at him automatically for directions and order and he's gotten so used to leading them that it's his go to mode.

He just likes doing stuff without someone hovering over his shoulder or having to take care of others.

"what about his romantic relationships? Who should be is one true one(based on canon gfs), or maybe stay single? (Just gonna be biased, but I've only knew about dickbabs and dickkory (but I heard he has other girlfriends and I've remember reading he was almost married…a few times??) but dickkory had always been for me)"

Yeah, I've actually loved almost all of his romantic relationships. I hate Dickbabs but every other one has been fantastic. Kori was great for him.

Action Comics (1938) Issue #618

Dick says it again here. He used to envy Roy's freedom. He's also said in another comic that he fell in love with Kori for her freedom.

Secret Origins (1986) Issue #13

You're right, he has gotten almost married a few times

The first time was with Kori

The New Titans (1988) Issue #100

But then

The New Titans (1988) Issue #100

their pastor gets vaporised and body-controlled Raven feeds the soul of one of Trigon's children into Kori and she goes crazy but she recovers but it's a whole ordeal. In the end they don't get a chance to complete their marriage. They were spectacular together though. The only reason their wedding didn't go through is because the Batfam writers wanted Dick back so they took him from the Titans' writers and they needed a big dramatic scene to cut him off from the Titans. Another reason why Barbara was deaged and created as a love interest- to gatekeep him in the family.

He's also gotten married to Barbara before the retcon though.

Batman Family Issue #11

But here they were forced to by Maze and they went along with it and tricked him. At the end though, they just grab a bite to eat.

Ngl I actually would've supported this marriage. I really love this Barbara. Yes the age difference is a bit much but whatever, I still like them.

Dick and Barbara have gotten married in an alternate timeline.

Convergence: Nightwing/Oracle Issue #2

yeah, definitely didn't like this one.

Dick's also gotten fake married to a woman because Batman and Dick thought she was killing her husbands after marrying them so Dick married her to see if it was true.

Nightwing (1996) Annual #1

I liked her. She wasn't the killer and Dick did a fantastic job raising her son but even though she loved him, he didn't love her and they divorced amicably. I wish I could see more of her and her son though.

To be completely honest, my favorites for Dick are Kori and Bea.

Bea was a fantastic partner. She was understanding, loving, caring, and responsible. She was there when he was Ric Grayson and just loved him for who he was.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #53

If Kori's truly out of the picture, then Dick really should've settled down with her.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #57

She and Kori, they don't tell Dick what to do or who to be. They let him be free which is why I loved them an extraordinary amount. I'm a sucker for soft moments and Bea and Dick are couple goals.

Nightwing (2016) Issue #62

They give him the freedom he craves.

"What about mentally wise? (Of course, I do think Dick needs a long vacation because of all the trauma that he has to go through), but even if I like the idea of Dick being admired for his looks because he deserves it, but I do rmbr posts that he is uncomfy with this(sexualisation, Def only staying true to the person he loves (then there's the whole...Tarantula and more thing)"

I think Dick does need a break. His life has been a series of unfortunate events but despite all that, I think he loves it that way. Dick loves the thrill of adventure. It's the heart of who he is and why he became robin. The excitement he gets when fighting or doing crazy stunts - he loves all of it and that is his coping mechanism. I guess in order for him to thrive, Bruce needs to stop dumping all his trauma and stop expecting him to be there for him at all times of the day. Dick keeps getting dragged back to Gotham to take care of Bruce and his problems and he would go in a heartbeat but he's much happier wacking his own goons in Bludhaven. But since Bruce is so codependent on Dick, this pattern's not gonna stop anytime soon.

Truth be told I also like Dick being admired for his looks. I don't like him being called out by it though. First of all why would you comment "hot booty" to someone? It's degrading and humiliating even if you think it's a compliment. Some things are better left untold. But regardless of what people think, Dick will always be pretty and everyone in the DC universe knows this. Heroes, civilians, villains - they're all attracted to him on some level because he's so beautiful. And honestly? I'm all for it! Because that boy is the prettiest human in existence and he deserves that recognition. Just not vocally or physically.

The best thing is that Dick's beauty has no bearing on his mentality toward people. This man will choose one person and stick with them forever. He values intimacy and trust and love in his relationships which is why he's so attached to each one. This plays a massive role in his relationship with Kori. He would never cheat. Actually in all the future comics, after his spouse passes away or leaves, he never remarries. The only one exception was Batman Beyond (2016). The only one and he remarries Barbara after his wife passes away. Aside from that he remains a single parent. That's how dedicated he is.

"I've been seeing stuff where Robin name is actually Dick's mom calling Dick that. Then it's passed down as a mantle starting from Jason without Dick consenting. I tried to read at wiki, maybe I missed out but I can't find anything. Is it true? Does the other bats (except Bruce and Alfred?) know the actual meaning? Because as much as I love Dami, the whole bloodson, birthright to take the mantle of Robin beside Batman give me ugh feelings if it's true)"

Yup Dick's mother called Dick Robin.

Nightwing (2011) Issue #0

Robin (1993) Annual #4

Here's a couple but there are more instances of his mom calling him Robin.

Dick had no idea Bruce passed on the Robin costume. He finds out through the newspaper because Bruce is pissed at Dick. Like he's so mad that when he told Dick to leave, Dick actually left.

You know how there's a saying about not being able to take back words of anger? Bruce is feeling that heavily. He already had suspicions that Dick wanted to leave but before Dick could tell him, he fired him so he wouldn't have to hear those words. But Bruce is super mad that Dick left anyway. So what does he do? He makes the first boy he sees Robin.

And Jason finds out Dick was Robin when he confronts Bruce why Nightwing knows Bruce's identity. And that gets Bruce more mad because he's now feeling guilty which is when Dick comes to confront Bruce.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But instead of meeting anger for anger, Dick expresses his hurt. About how they were partners and then talks about his life after leaving Bruce.

And Bruce loves Dick. His best friend, son, brother, and partner for nearly 11 years. They raised each other and despite his anger, he smiles in pride and love.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

Look at his smile!! He's so proud of his son.

And that's when Dick stops pulling his punches.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

Bruce looks so wrecked. The guilt and sorrow is tantamount to his pain.

Then Dick asks Bruce why he choose someone new.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

So Bruce tells him. But Dick and Bruce's relationship go way deeper than just friends or family. They know each other. They revolve around each other so Dick calls him out.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

And out comes the truth

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But Dick has always been the bigger man and instead of letting Jason become some sort of spite move, he turns Robin into a legacy.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

He passes it down like it was meant to be passed down. Because let's be honest here. The Robin name and costume is Dick's. If he wanted to, he could've taken it back, Bruce be damned. And that was one of Jason's fears.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But despite Bruce's words to Jason

Batman (1940) Issue #416

He's not sure himself.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

But it's only with Dick's approval that he becomes Robin which is what Bruce is thanking at the end.

Batman (1940) Issue #416

And this has been a sort of tradition.

Dick approved of Jason being Robin, he endorsed Tim, and he made Damian Robin. The only exception being Stephanie. This is why Dick feels a heavy sense of responsibility over the robin predicament. He created the tradition. He approved, supported, and mentored every robin that walked in his colors and name. That's why he feels the burden of it.

I don't think any of the other robins know the meaning behind the name. Maybe they do. But ironically, the one who wasn't robin is the one who knows the meaning of it.

Duke.

I agree with your points about how Suo and Sakura fool each other super well! I also love how differently they approach problems when a plan is needed. Like how Sakura tends to jump in headfirst, but when a plan is really needed he turns to Suo and trusts him to handle it. And Suo’s plans for protecting the bridge were legitimately brilliant, showing how correct Sakura was to trust him with it. (Seriously, Suo’s talent for strategy that goes beyond even their normal one on one fights and into planning out giant group fights is insanely impressive and I somehow never really see anyone mention that) But I just love that while being foils of each other they also support each other where they can and become much stronger for it

Going off on a tangent here, but Suo’s intelligence has to be one of my favorite parts of his character.

A little detail I like is how he references Japanese mediums of storytelling:

But the best example of Suo’s sheer intellect is during the Tsubaki chapters.

When Suo talks about the significance of Yui planting the dogwood tree, he first explains it’s Hanakotoba (Japanese flower language).

However, the “Am I indifferent to you” definition is not part of the dogwood tree’s flower language. In fact, Suo actually refers to this custom from the 19th century:

As Yui was the one who planted the tree (rather than Ito, the male), she (the woman) conveys that her feelings towards her husband are not of indifference despite his prior belief. Since this was a tradition from the Victorian Era (which predominantly took place in the United Kingdom and its colonies), Suo explains the meaning in English rather than Japanese.

And as you’ve mentioned here, Furin would’ve been cooked by Noroshi’s massive numbers if Suo didn’t come up with their main strategy. Additionally, Sakura would’ve never worked with Sugishita or realize that he can’t fight alongside other people properly if it wasn’t Suo who had guided him.

Because of Suo’s guidance, Sakura was able to take down enemies with Sugishita and fight well during the first half of Noroshi. In a way, Suo is the brains to Sakura’s brawn (and Nirei would be the heart).

If you think that Dick doesn't share his problems with other people because he thinks it will upset others...

Let me introduce you:

Dick knows perfectly well that he has a world of people who would drop everything to go help him, that he would never be a bother to them, but that's precisely why he doesn't want to worry them, because as he is usually the support, he knows how tiring it can be, and because he doesn't want anyone to think that he is unwilling to help them.

Aldo Bellini's cross: an analysis

As we know, each cross in Conclave has a unique design and meaning that reflects the character they're designed for.

The main symbol on Bellini's cross is the pelican. According to many ancient legends (pre dating Christianity) the pelican was believed to pierce its own breast with its beak to feed its offspring with its blood, so early Christians adopted it as a symbol of Jesus Christ sacrificing himself for mankind.

The most immediate explanation is that the pelican represents Bellini: he's the righteous cardinal who doesn't want the papacy, who sees it as a burden that will most likely destroy him, but who, at the same time, feels like he has to become Pope in order to prevent Tedesco from winning. In other words, he feels like he has to sacrifice himself in order to save the Church.

However, the quote engraved on the back of the cross reveals something more, something deeper. The quote comes from a hymn written by Thomas Aquinas in 1264, titled “Adoro te devote”.

Pie pellicane, Iesu Domine, / me immundum munda tuo sanguine.

Good pelican, Lord Jesus, / clean me, the unclean, with your blood.

It's a prayer TO the good pelican from the point of view of a sinner who feels unclean, impure.

And that's how Bellini constantly sees himself: as unworthy, as dirty. His whole character is built around this sense of shame, self loathing and self-doubt, which he must shoulder alone and which is at the centre of his (torturous?) relationship with God.

The quote is hidden on the back of the cross, it's private, it's for Bellini's eyes only, his shame is between himself and the Lord, the only one who can save him, who can clean him.

And of course you can read this however you like but it's definitely one more thing to be added to the list of gay undertones in Bellini's character.

One last thing (and this is probably my biggest reach but indulge me): I noticed that in the scene where Bellini finally admits his shame to Lawrence his cross is facing backwards.

This movie is so meticulous with its details and symbolism that I'm almost 100% sure that it was made (or left like that) on purpose.

In the scene Lawrence (and the audience with him) is finally given access to Bellini's inner turmoil. Bellini is baring those parts of himself he's so ashamed of to the person he cares about the most, so it's only fitting that his words and actions are accompanied by this subtle, yet powerful symbolism.

I get winded by the fact that Dick and Damian fully expected to spend their foreseeable futures as Batman and Robin only for Bruce to come back and have them separate early. It was just a year but also it was spending every day and night together for a decade that just. Didn't come. Instead, Dick will tell Damian he wanted to adopt him and give him his parents' trapeze bar or Damian will feel threatened by Dick potentially having another child and try to hold onto him with all his might. It's a never ending game of chicken, both of them constantly flinching towards a future they'd already accepted, but being so insecure of what they mean to each other now that it didn't happen that they can only ever talk around it. It's clawing at someone you lost but they haven't left you. It's 'you belong to me in a way that you can never belong to anyone else but you're not mine'.

okay, so i've yapped a lot about how umemiya and kaji relate to sakura's character development as a leader and now i want to yap about how his personal growth is mirrored in nirei (+suo).

at the beginning of the series, sakura and nirei were functionally polar opposites: sakura was physically strong, but was out of touch with his social and emotional skills, whereas nirei had strength in social and emotional intelligence, but was physically weak.

when sakura first met nirei, he formed a negative opinion based on what he could see that he would soon retract. it's hard to see inner strength at a glance, just like how it's hard to track the growth of one's inner strength, especially in a fighting series.

what isn't hard to track in a series like wind breaker is physical strength, which is where nirei's arc comes in.

nirei's journey in becoming physically stronger is running parallel to sakura's journey to build his emotional strength, meaning that nirei's growth in physical strength is a direct, visual representation of sakura's growth in emotional strength.

and the person who is largely shepherding these two in their respective journeys? suo.

suo not only helps translate emotional/social situations to sakura (and also sakura's emotions to others) thus helping him navigate those conflicts, but he is also nirei's literal fighting instructor.

he also sometimes has to guide nirei on how to interact with sakura since they're so opposite from each other, which does suggest a personal familiarity with both sakura and nirei's mindsets. (we don't know much about suo yet, but if i had to wager a guess, i would say that he started out both physically and emotionally weak, which would be why he has such a deep understanding of sakura and nirei.)

from what i can see, these three are a really well-crafted trio and i'm excited to see where the series takes them.

thinking about lawrence and bellini and how they think they know each other, and they do, but not without the clarity each expects...bellini's 'don't be so naive' comment comes out with such force. he's been holding that between his teeth for years. decades maybe. all the time bellini spent struggling with his ambitions, his resentments.

it's only now during the conclave that will make or break his career and redeem the course of his life, his chance to step up and take up the mantle of the dead friend he is grieving deeply. it's now that it comes out - how much he has been living like a politician.

presenting himself one way, upholding the virtues of justice and humility, enjoying his own flair in throwing down the gauntlet, listing all his ideals and principles.

add: dramatic refusal. add: dramatic exit. performing so well, even his oldest friend cannot see it. cannot see him, for who he is. and so of course lawrence's trust and belief in him cannot be true; but bellini can't help but crumble when it starts eroding.

he is a false icon and a false man. he envies what he sees of lawrence, the doubts he has which are turned towards god and not towards the church (a doubt he shared with the late pope, and can only confess to it through him, even in absence). his self-denial that keeps him safe from ambition, that makes it terribly easy to set aside as competition, makes him safe to rely on.

except lawrence has a courage bellini can't replicate. an ability to respond to circumstances and not merely react and hesitate due to the possible costly outcomes.

because he is brilliant, he can see risks so clearly, he is so deeply aware of the weight in every decision and that hinders him terribly, it is the hubris of the righteous, a self-hating sense of responsibility. who else but him should be pope?

the big test of character he faces is not a scandal with victims or a crime: it is only disappointing a friend, disappointing himself. only that. a very quiet thing happens, behind closed doors, like so many other quiet things.

lawrence breaks the papal seal. he breaks vows and promises and protocol and ritual; he broke faith with the institution they have served together for decades, and so bellini cannot hold faith with him, or the truth he is trying to bring to the light.

the truth does not, then, matter as much as the look of the thing. the risk is too great. oh, it is always too great, for aldo bellini to take.

it is only when he loses lawrence's faith, the last steady old living faith lawrence has, that bellini realizes he does not have it in him to live by integrity. what an ugly thing to know, and to learn from someone renouncing him, the one person he thought would not.

lawrence makes clear bellini's weaknesses, as he does for the rest, and bellini sees him clearly in the light of day after a night of looking at himself, and he is very sorry, and grateful to him, for being the crucible. the least of all evils, and the one who cuts closest to the bone.

he looks at the darkness inside himself and apologizes. so quickly, so simply.

bellini apologizes; he makes amends; he offers supports, upholds the mirror as lawrence did, works towards a better future. it is another day. he is a politician, and it is another day.

when they reconcile he says: it is shameful to live this long and not know himself. and it is then, because he says that, at his prompting, in the example of that peculiar courage bellini has and thinks he does not have, that lawrance admits it. he does have a name scrawled in his heart, a small ambition; he is capable of wanting, even he would rather not.

and still, bellini leads the way for lawrence. in facing his failures to live up to his image of himself, in the possibility not only of regret and shame and struggle for dignity when facing the certainty of defeat (adeyemi) or denial, incomprehension (tremblay) - but in making amends.

lawrence's old trust in him is not baseless or empty, there is love between them still, because bellini is not that good of a politician, it turns out; he doesn't have what it takes to stick it out, to pretend at a thing he cannot be.

he is too true for it. he is brave, only not in the way he sought to be thought of. a quieter thing, less emphatic, more powerful by far. he is so clearly exhausted of himself. pretending at certainty is so much more treacherous and exhausting and dangerous than doubt admitted. and humility, the scholar learns, is the only possible road for knowledge of the self and the other and the world.

don't be so naive thomas. don't be so naive. but in the morning it is bellini asking for the name john, preparing in expectation and hope for his friend the moment he would ask him the term of his papacy after being elected. he asks without resentment, and with a new belief in him, a true understanding.

a reverse-baptism, which never happens, except for how it exists between them. what is the name of your fearful desire, your sin, your hope in the midst of hopelessness, your weakness like my own?

the dangerous ones are the ones who want to be elected. but aldo bellini is the one person who says, everyone wants it. he denies the possibility for false pretenses.

and because it is his friend who speaks of it, not tremblay accusing him of it or benítez offering it freely, but aldo bellini who asks what is the shape and sound of his secret faith in himself, lawrence can admit it.

if he can forgive bellini for it, he has to forgive himself. if bellini can face what sort of man he is, so does he. and he doesn't, of course, forgive himself for it, or give himself much of any grace. but he begins to believe that is it possible others might truly know his doubts and desires, and not look away, or be appealed, betrayed, renounce him for his humanity. bellini doesn't.

they see each other clearly now. they sit on the same bench, apart from the rest of the world, secluded in friendship.

in the script, after the explosion, they walk arm in arm for the last vote.

i truly do wonder if zoro’s lack of emotional vulnerability will ever be addressed in a serious way.

we have the strawhats who give him a hard time every now and again for his stern opinions in places which may need a considered touch, e.g. vivi’s disappearance, but it’s never something that’s explored with the intention of character development which is something i find interesting.

zoro is one of my favourite characters of all time, of all media, and i have no qualms in saying his lack of acceptance towards emotion can be a flaw. he is coarse at times and while it serves a much needed purpose on occasion, such as the fight between usopp and luffy where his plainspoken, blunt words were necessary. there are other occasions where that's just not what's needed- such as luffy unable to stop crying after he found out sabo was alive, and zoro (framed humorously) scolding him.

zoro’s emotions are worrying, and something i believe stem from his lifelong isolation. for zoro, who’s never had a home before the strawhats, to stare blankly at the going merry as she burned down. zoro who notably smiles less as the series progresses, who never got closure for the trauma between thriller bark and post marineford. i find it so worrying, and it's something i very much want to be addressed.

zoro is the manly man, he is beloved by gym bros and has a large male fan base. he is the protector. and that trope has been placed upon his shoulders among a lot of categories that the strawhats fill out respectively. but zoro feels insecure no matter how people may interpret him, no matter what trope he fits, “if i fail to become the world’s greatest swordsman you’ll be disappointed, right?” zoro often feels a disregard for his own life and has a flippant relationship with injury which is a huge red flag in regards to the perception of himself, his self worth, and even more than that. he pushes himself in ways which can only be explained by an unhealthy desperation. zoro is human. but he won't let himself be.

and that's understandable given what he's surrounded by, given his role and his trope. but that drive without the ability to accept 'weakness' (emotion) is a terrible combination, which in any real life scenario would be an impending mental crash.

zoro needs to accept his own emotions, he needs to allow himself to feel them, or else he will crumble under constant stress. and maybe he will, maybe something similar to marineford will happen where zoro completely collapses under the weight of the world, but god bless, that is the last thing i want to happen. and equally, something i cannot see happening from oda currently.

i want, desperately, for zoro's emotional constipation to be a plot that is addressed through someone who is well emotionally adjusted and guides him through that development. or maybe a small, personal loss that hits deeply and he has to accept the fact he needs support through it, anything. even a scare with the crew, luffy, in danger that teaches him the importance of openness with loved ones. anything will do.

i just worry for him and hope for his happiness truthfully. please oda, zoro emotional processing arc?