đ„șđ„șâ€ïž
where angels fear to tread
Before Dawn đ đââïž
Thinking about how One Piece is a Chosen One story where the audience is aware of the protagonistâs destiny and worldly importance long before he is. And not because itâs the first episode/season and we know a chosen one story when we see one. But because even though the protagonist isnât all that interested in fate and power and battles between good and evil the story still follows him taking steps to become a figure of grand world importance of his own accord and for his own reasons.
Heâs not becoming a chosen one because someone told him heâs the chosen one with a grand destiny he must fulfill. Heâs just doing what he wants to do and if destiny says thatâs what he does then it just makes sense because itâs what he already wanted to do.
2022-02-22 22:22 !!!!!!
The world is changing. And it let us behind.Â
pairing: spencer reid x reader
set sometime in early s2; you get stuck sharing a room with your favorite boy genius who absolutely cannot know that you have feelings for him. and also, thereâs only one bed. fluff, f!reader (i think there's only two usages of gender markers)
word count: 4.7k
notes: this is a rework of a very old fic i used to have up on ao3. i'm thinking i'll do more of these, i've got a few spencer fics in the vault and it was fun to rework this and see how my style has changed :)
You shivered against the cold desert air. Twirling a keyring around your finger, you headed for the door marked 3. You were exhausted from the day and so, so ready to collapse into bed as soon as you got inside your room.Â
You turned the key in the lock while Spencer waited behind you. It was late, and you and the team had pulled into a motel for the night, having been dragged out to a tiny rural town by the unsub after days of tracking him through surrounding areas. Heâd been apprehended, finally, and handed over to local police around midnight. You all had decided it best to spend the night before driving back into town in the morning for take off.Â
So here you were, at one of those single story motels that still used actual keys instead of key cards. Given the time of night, you knew vacancies would be scarce, so youâd already expected to have to double up on rooms. Gideon had stayed behind at Quantico, leaving Hotch and Morgan in one room and JJ and Prentiss in another, with you and Spencer sharing the last room. Youâd hung back while JJ got everything figured out with the concierge (who was just a bored looking kid posted at the desk), and then sheâd passed you your key with its little keyring attachment listing the room number and you all bade each other goodnight.
Youâd been on the team nearly a year already, but you were still the rookie compared to everyone else. Even Spence had two years on you. But seeing as you two were the youngest, and the least inclined toward the more physical parts of your jobâ the chasing, tackling, firing your weapon partsâ you were paired off with him more often than not.Â
You werenât complaining. Youâd come to know Spencer pretty well, and you didnât feel much apprehension at the thought of sharing a room with him for one night.Â
That is, until you opened the door.Â
âOh,â you said involuntarily. Â
"There's only one bed,â Spencer said.Â
âSure looks that way.âÂ
"At least it's a queen?"Â
There was a brief pause before you both started speaking at the same time.Â
"Maybe we can go back to the conciergeâ" Spencer began.Â
"I mean, I guess I don't reallyâ"Â
"âalthough, JJ did say we got the lastâ"Â
"âmind as long as youâ"Â
You cut yourself off this time. Itâs not like there was another good option, unless one of you wanted to sleep in the car. "This is fine?" it came out as a question rather than a statement.Â
"I think so? I wouldn't want toâ to make you uncomfortable or anything."
"This is fine," you repeated, more sure of yourself this time. âAnd you donât make me uncomfortable.â Â
It was only kind of a lie. You trusted Spencer with your life, of course. But he also made you nervous. He was sweet, kind, always seeming genuinely interested in anything you had to say. And of course, anyone could see that he was attractive. You were developing feelings for him, and in a job where your coworkers and your crush himself were all adept at reading people, it really wasnât a good position for you to be in. You just hoped Spencer was as oblivious with women as Derek made him out to be.Â
"We should get out of the doorway," Spencer suggested, and you realized you'd been standing in the threshold this whole time.
"Right."
The two of you walked in, Spencer closing and locking the door behind you. It was a modest room in a tiny town; your standard ugly-patterned, faded bedspread draped over the queen bed in the center, a window looking out into the parking lot, and a dresser that didnât even have a TV on top of it. You headed straight for the bed, sitting on the edge and removing your shoes while Spencer stood by with his hands in his pockets.
"You know, if it's a problem I can sleep on the couâ uh, the chair," Spencer offered, looking back mid-sentence and realizing that the only additional furniture this motel offered was one rigid looking armchair by the window.Â
"No, you're not doing that."
"What?" he asked, taken aback by the quickness of your response.
"You're not sleeping in that chair. It looks horribly uncomfortable and Iâm sure itâs never been cleaned, and I know how youâd feel about that.âÂ
Spencer grimaced, not having thought about that particular detail. âYeah, but, I mean⊠Iâd do it for you.âÂ
God, why did he have to say stuff like that? Like you were something special. And why now, when you were stuck in the same room with him until morning? It probably didnât even mean the same thing to him as it meant to you. He was one of the most caring people youâd ever met. Heâd probably say that to any one of you on the team.Â
Or maybe sleeping in a chair meant nothing to him at all. Maybe he actually didnât want to share the bed with you and thatâs why he was trying so hard to avoid it.Â
Ugh. You just wanted this day to be over. It was late, the case had been a week long, and now you were probably in for a fun night of overthinking and second guessing when youâd been expecting silence and easy, dreamless sleep.Â
Okay, maybe that last part was never really an option, but still.Â
âLook,â you sighed, âI know this isn't an ideal situation but there's a perfectly good bed here, so letâs just share it. If youâre okay with that. It's just one night and tomorrow we'll be back home and nobody has to know about it."
You had to fight from squeezing your eyes shut in regret. You wished that had come out differently. You chanced a look at Spencer, realizing that youâd been staring down at the faded carpet pattern while you spoke.Â
The look on his face was one you hadnât seen before, and you almost couldn't place it. He seemed sort of disappointed. Disappointed that he had to share a bed with you? Or that you'd made it sound like you didn't want to share a bed with him? Nope, you could not go down that road tonight. You shook your head once as if it would clear the thoughts from your tired mind.Â
âIâm okay with that," he said, casually enough that you could almost convince yourself that youâd just imagined the look on his face before. "So, do you want the shower first, or...?" Spencer asked.
"No, I can wait, you go ahead," you said. You desperately needed the moment to yourself anyway. Â
You started rifling through your bag for pajamas, toiletries, and your charger as an excuse to look busy while Spencer made his way into the bathroom with his things. As soon as the door closed behind him, you flopped back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling as if it might hold all the answers.Â
Spencer couldn't know about your feelings. For one thing, you were pretty sure there was a rule against dating your colleagues in the BAU. If not, there probably should be. You were such a close knit team, and if anything went wrong⊠you couldnât imagine how difficult that would be. But then, the evil and uncooperative part of you also couldnât help but think that things might go right.Â
From the beginning of your time at the BAU, youâd been drawn to Spencer. It just kind of made sense. Youâd gotten through school at an accelerated paceâ though not as quickly as him, the man was on another fucking level when it came to academicsâ and you were one of the only people who found his fact dropping actually interesting, often asking him follow up questions. Heâd looked adorably shocked the first few times youâd done that.Â
He listened intently to your passionate rants about your favorite films and tv shows, even though he hadnât seen any of them. When the two of you had discovered a shared interest in mythology and folklore, Hotch nearly had to separate you so you would actually get some work done. It was like you were a kid in school again, and you mightâve been embarrassed if you didnât find it so funny, if you werenât so giddy at the idea of a friendship that could make you feel like a kid again.Â
Spencer understood you in a way that other people didnât, laughing at your jokes even when they didnât land for anybody else. When people interrupted or spoke over you, he always paid attention, and in situations where you were trying to add details to the profile heâd bring the conversation back around to you.Â
Throughout your life youâd learnedâ through painstaking trial and errorâ to fit in pretty well in most any group you found yourself in, but youâd always considered yourself to be a little weird. A little too different. But when you were with Spencer, you felt like you didnât have to try so hard. You could both be a little different, together.Â
Spencer opened the bathroom door then, startling you. Youâd been so lost in thought you hadnât even noticed the water turn off. You looked over to see him wearing a loose white t-shirt and pajama pants, his hair still damp. And now you knew what Spencer looked like fresh out of a shower. And of course it was endearing as hell.Â
âIf thatâs how youâre planning to sleep,â Spencer began, referencing how you were laid out in the dead center of the bed, your arms fully outstretched and hands hanging off the mattress, âthen I think we might have a slight problem after all.â Â
You walked out of the bathroom a short while later, dressed in your usual sleepwear of shorts and an oversized shirt. Youâd put your hair up in a bun to protect it while you showered, and now it hung loose around your shoulders. You simultaneously wished your outfit was cuter and uglier; knowing your giant t-shirt wasnât flattering your figure while also feeling like you had too much skin exposed. Not that it mattered. You were just going to get some sleep and then wake up in the morning and head home. Everything would be back to normal.Â
Spencerâs in bed already. Heâd turned off the big light while you were showering, the lamps on either side of the bed casting him in a softer, warmer glow. He looked up from his book to find you standing there, and the soft, familiar look in his big brown eyes had you rooted to the spot.Â
âHey,â he said softly, patting the space next to him in invitation.Â
You conceded, finding your legs again and sliding into bed beside him. âHey.âÂ
He fidgeted with the pages of his book, ultimately shutting it closed on his index finger to mark the page. âSo, uh, are we okay?âÂ
âYeah, of course,â you answered genuinely, feeling bad that your internal struggle had manifested in a way that worried him.Â
âOkay, cool,â he said. He paused long enough to let you explain if you wanted to, another invitation. You knew he wouldnât push it if you didnât offer something up. You wanted to give him an explanation, but you couldnât bring yourself to.Â
âSorry,â you managed.Â
âFor what?âÂ
âI donât know⊠acting weird, I guess. Itâs just been a long day.âÂ
âOh, well, you donât need to be sorry about that. Youâre always weird.âÂ
Your mouth dropped open as you looked at him. âLook whoâs fucking talking,â you scoffed. Some of the tension dropped from your shoulders, glad he hadnât questioned you further.Â
âLanguage, please,â he held up a hand to stop you. âIâm delicate.âÂ
âWhaâ?â you let out a surprised little laugh. âYouâre an idiot!âÂ
âYeah okay, tell that to my Iâ.âÂ
âOh, my IQ of 187,â you finished for him, rolling your eyes. Even that was full of endearment. âGod, you are so annoying.âÂ
âHm. Yâknow, this might be a long night for you. Iâd hate to keep you up with my annoyingness.âÂ
âI feel like you couldâve come up with a better word than annoyingness, Mr. 187,â you tilted your head where it rested against the headboard, looking up at him.Â
âOh, sheâs being a smartass now!â he split into a surprised grin, and you could swear your heart skipped a beat.Â
âYou just said ass.âÂ
âWow. How quickly youâve corrupted me.âÂ
âRight, of course. Itâs my fault.âÂ
âI knew youâd agree.âÂ
âShut the fuck up,â you laughed.Â
Things felt a little bit more normal after that, joking around with Spencer like you normally did made the rest of the night feel less daunting.Â
Shortly after that, the two of you agreed that you should get some sleep, each reaching over to turn out the light on your respective sides of the bed.Â
You let yourself sink into your pillow, the exhaustion you had been feeling giving way to a hyper awareness of Reidâs body next to you. You were kept awake, completely overcome by the foot of space between you and Spencer; the consequences of crossing that space, the way it might feel, the curiosity over whether he was laying awake too, thinking the same thoughts as you. Even with that foot of space separating you, you could feel his body heat. You longed to move closer to him, to touch him, to let his warmth seep into you and lull you to sleep.Â
But you didnât, and you wouldnât, because this was just an unfortunate booking mishap. It didnât mean anything. Tomorrow it would be over, and you could more easily go back to hiding your feelings from everyone else and yourself.Â
Eventually, exhaustion won out.Â
You woke what couldâve been a few minutes or a few hours later, the sky still dark. You couldnât tell what exactly had woken you up, only the sense that youâd moved, almost like youâd fallen. But fallen from what?Â
You blinked in the dark, the street lamps in the parking lot providing enough residual light to keep the room from being pitch black.Â
Reid was sitting up. He mustâve bolted upright, you thought. Had that been what moved you? Were you lying on him?!Â
âHey, you okay?âÂ
âSorry. Just a nightmare,â he said as if it was nothing. âSorry to wake you.âÂ
âWhat was it about?â you ignored his apologies, sitting up as well.Â
âI don't really even remember,â he breathed, almost like it was funny. âJust having a physiological reaction to whatever it was, I guess.âÂ
You had nightmares too, of course. You all did. You hated remembering them, but you also hated the times when you woke up in the dark, dazed and inexplicably scared. Without thinking, you reached for his hand.Â
He turned to look at you then. âI really didn't mean to wake you,â he reiterated.Â
âI figured,â you smiled slightly. You noticed his breathing was just a bit too fast. You rubbed your thumb over the back of his hand, leaning over to rest your weight against his side, your head on his shoulder. His nervous system would regulate itself quicker this way.Â
âYou were on my pillow, by the way.âÂ
âWhat?â you ask, your head jerking back from him.Â
âI totally called it. You rolled right into the center of the bed in your sleep. Total bed hog.âÂ
âHey!â you protested, pulling your hand back from his in embarrassment. So you had been lying on top of him. Or at least really close to him. His hand chased after yours, finding you again.Â
âThat wasnât me complaining about it.âÂ
âOh,â was all you could think to say back.Â
It was quiet for a minute. You let your head fall back onto Spencerâs shoulder, but your heart raced in your chest.Â
âCan I ask you something?â he questioned, his tone becoming more serious.Â
âOhâ of course,â you answered, your brow creasing.Â
âWhat did you mean when you said âitâs not idealâ and ânobody has to know about itâ?âÂ
âWhâ Iâ Spencer, come on.âÂ
He didnât give you an out this time. Just waited for an answer.Â
âI donât even really know,â you sighed. Â
âI believe youâre being partially truthful about that.âÂ
âDonât profile me.âÂ
âIâm not. I just know you.âÂ
You sighed. âYou know, sometimes I hate that stupid memory of yours.âÂ
âI donât need an eidetic memory to remember that. It was a weird thing to say, and it happened like four hours ago.âÂ
âYouâre guesstimating. And it wasnât that weird.âÂ
âMaybe not, but the way you said it was. And youâre avoiding my question.âÂ
You continued to avoid it, biting down on your bottom lip.Â
âAnd you stuttered when I brought it up.âÂ
âI told you to stop profiling me.âÂ
This time, he just hummed in response.Â
âAnd so what if I stuttered?âÂ
âStuttering is usually more my thing. A nervousness thing.âÂ
Maybe this was actually your nightmare. Maybe youâd wake up soon and none of this wouldâve been real, and you wouldnât have had to explain to Spencer that the reason youâd had an attitude was because the situation tonight had made it harder to hide your feelings for him. Big feelings that became a lot harder to ignore when he was this close to you, still holding your hand, the mix of scents from his detergent and deodorant clouding your judgment. Of all the embarrassing scenarios that you couldâve imagined playing out tonight, this was very high up on the list.Â
âI said âitâs not idealâ because itâs not, just by definition. We were supposed to get a double room and we didnât. Not ideal. And I said no one has to find out because I can already see Morgan having a field day with it and I know the exact expression thatâll be on his faceââÂ
âThe eyebrows,â he nodded, lips pursed.Â
âAnd then everyone else will get in on it and I just figuredâŠâ you sighed. âI donât know. I didnât want to deal with that.âÂ
âThat all makes total sense.âÂ
âGood,â you breathed. Too relieved.Â
âNow tell me the rest of it.âÂ
âGod, Spencerââ you huffed out, frustrated. He knew you too well.Â
You wanted to run. Maybe you could go sleep in the car after all. And then ignore Spencer for the rest of the day, and then the year, and your life, andâÂ
âDonât make me say it,â you breathed. This had to be a dream.Â
âBut there is something to be said?â he questioned, his tone hushed, almost reverent.Â
It was just vague enough. You could pretend it was nothing.Â
âYes.âÂ
You felt like youâd just blown your life up with one word.Â
Spencer took a deep breath, your body cresting and falling with the movement of it.Â
âYou make me feel better about being myself,â he confessed. Â
You shut your eyes. You had a constricting feeling in your throat suddenly, and the awful realization that you might cry.Â
He spoke again, because you couldnât. âI havenât always felt good about it, you know? And then you joined the team, and, wellâ you changed a lot of things for me. And youâre beautiful, obviously, and I was scared to mess up what we have, because itâs special, I thinkââÂ
âIt is.âÂ
ââand then you started freaking out when you saw the bed,â he was smiling now, you could hear it, âand I thought, maybe it wouldnât be so crazy⊠maybe I could make you feel that way too.âÂ
âYou do. Of course you do. I feel like I can be my full self with you. I donât know that Iâve ever felt like that before.âÂ
Spencer laughed, a little delirious giggle, and squeezed your hand in his. Youâd managed to avoid crying, thankfully, and you grinned along with him, looking down at your joined hands as you squeezed him back.Â
Things seemed to still for a beat, the two of you sitting with this moment and letting it stretch out. You still couldnât really believe this was happening. You might have to tell Spencer to pinch you.Â
âSo what does that mean for us now?â you asked.Â
âWell, for right now at least, I think it just means that we can go back to sleep without overthinking things into oblivion.âÂ
âI was notââ
âOkay, this time I am profiling you, and youâre lying,â he cut you off, his smile still evident. Â
âOh, this was such a mistake.â
He continued like you hadnât spoken, laughing a little as he went. âI could practically hear it. Itâs like, you know when a computer is trying to use too much processing power and the fan starts whirring really loud? Like that but just like right next to me, like tangibleââ Â
âOkay! Thank you so much, I actually totally got it, you can stop now.âÂ
He laughed, and your cheeks warmed.Â
âFor the record, I meant we could both stop overthinking.â Then he shifted a little, facing you a bit more. With the hand that wasnât holding yours, he brushed a strand of hair from your face, a fake pout on his lips. âSorry I make you nervous.âÂ
You cackled at that, if it was possible to cackle in hushed tones. âOh, I bet you are. Besides, I know you like me now, so youâve lost that card.âÂ
âAre you certain of that?âÂ
âCertain that you like me or certain that you canât make me nervous?âÂ
âThe latter. I do like you, if that was unclear.âÂ
Your heart sped up, contradicting you as you answered, âThen Iâm certain you canât make me nervous.âÂ
He titled your face up to his then, using his index finger underneath your chin to make you look at him. âYouâre an awful liar.âÂ
You just shrugged, watching triumphantly as Spencerâs gaze fell to your lips.âItâs been working out pretty well for me so far.âÂ
âI guess it has,â he murmured, closing the distance between you and finally kissing you.Â
After so many months of imagining (and berating yourself for imagining) what Spencerâs lips might feel like on yours, you werenât disappointed.Â
For once you didnât have to think at all, the chemistry between you and him drowning out everything else. His hand fell to your waist, and yours moved to the curve of his jaw, pulling him closer as his mouth moved against yours. Your teeth grazed his bottom lip and he gasped, and your skin felt like it was lit up from the inside.Â
You pulled away to breathe, and to process, and to try and stop your head from swimming. You were rewarded with the awestruck look in Spencerâs eyes as he opened them again.Â
âOkay, was it just me, orââÂ
âThat was crazy,â you breathed.
âCrazy,â he agreed.Â
âSpence?âÂ
âYeah?âÂ
âI donât think weâre getting back to sleep tonight.â Your eyes widened at the implication of saying those words at that time. âNot, like, in the sex way, though,â you hurried to correct yourself. âI need like, 4-5 business days to process things first, and Iâ well, I just meant, likeâ you know?âÂ
Spencer was nodding at you even as his eyebrows pulled together in a frown. âCan I still kiss you during those 4-5 business days?âÂ
âOh, yeah,â you said, sounding breathless.Â
âCool,â he agreed. âYou seem really nervous, by the way.âÂ
âWell, you kissed me.âÂ
âI did.â Â
âHow were you not nervous?â you breathed.Â
âOh, I was. Your reaction is making me feel a whole lot better about it though.âÂ
You scoffed half-heartedly. âI do so much for you.âÂ
âYou do,â he replied earnestly, letting go of your hand to wrap his arm around your shoulders as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. âWe could lie back down, if you want. Like we were before I so rudely woke you up.âÂ
âYeah, Iâm super mad about that,â you joked. âAnyway, I was asleep for that, so youâll have to show me what I was doing.âÂ
He seemed all too pleased to do so. âOkay, so you were basically like,â he leaned back against the pillows, pulling you down with him, moving his hand to the side of your head to guide you to the place where his shoulder met his chest, âLike that, and then your arm was over here,â he picked up your arm and guided it around his waist.Â
âOh god, thatâs so embarrassing,â you said, realizing that he mustâve been awake when youâd done it.Â
âYeah, I know. Really terrible time for me.âÂ
âI can imagine. I can scoot back over to my side of the bed, just say the word.âÂ
âDonât you dare,â he said, squeezing you closer.Â
You trailed your fingers up and down his waist, feeling more content than you had in ages.Â
âI canât believe youâd suggest that I would have sex with you right after confessing my feelings. Like, take me to dinner first at least.âÂ
âOh my god,â you half-exclaimed, half-laughed. You felt your cheeks heat up again, grateful it was still too dark in the room to be noticeable. âYouâre right, Iâm so sorry. Howâs next Friday?âÂ
âHmm, I donât know. My work schedule is kind of unpredictable. Iâll have to get back to you.âÂ
âYouâre such an ass.âÂ
A few short hours later, you were back on the jet with the rest of the team. You were lying on the couch while Spencer sat in a seat one row up and across from you, both to avoid suspicion and so you could try to catch up on sleep. He sat facing away from you, but with the angle you were at you could still see one side of his face if you tilted your head up.Â
You were just beginning to fade when your phone buzzed next to you.Â
Spencer: I have to tell you something, coworker to coworker.Â
You looked up to see him blank faced, looking down at the book in his right hand, holding his phone in the left.Â
You text back: okay?Â
Spencer: My crush asked me out last night.Â
Youâre exceptionally glad no one was sitting close enough to see you. Spencer had caught you off guard, and you felt an infatuated grin spreading across your face.Â
You: what did u say?Â
Spencer: Wanted to get your opinion first.Â
You: i think u should say yes, obviously.Â
Spencer: Idk, Iâm kinda nervous. I think sheâs trying to jump me on the first date.
You just barely managed to refrain from laughing out loud. You looked up at Spencer again, and heâs looking at his phone as if it contained nothing more than a weather report. Youâre astounded.Â
You: one could argue that technically youâve already slept together, so thereâs less to be nervous abt
You saw his eyebrows raise just slightly. Success.Â
Spencer: Youâre trouble, you know that? See you Friday night
You: i promise i wonât try to jump youÂ
Spencer: Oh
Spencer: I fear I may have shot myself in the foot here
You: i wouldnât worry about it to much
Spencer: Thatâs rich coming from youÂ
You rolled your eyes even though he couldn't see you.Â
You: whatever. wear something sexy ;)Â
You heard him blow air out of his nose, an almost laugh.Â
âSomething funny?â you heard Derek ask.Â
Shit.Â
âThis book contains a historical inaccuracy that was proven incorrect eight years before its publishing date,â Spencer replied without missing a beat.Â
Unbelievable.
You: youâre unhinged :*
Spencer: Go to sleep already, would you?Â
You: coworker to coworker? my crush keeps interrupting my beauty sleepÂ
Spencer: Heâs probably worried about the worldwide implications of you becoming any more beautifulÂ
You: i guess thatâs why the universe gave you insomnia :( too prettyÂ
Spencer: Stop flirting with me
You: bc youâre too delicate??Â
Spencer: YesÂ
You snapped your phone shut, feeling dazed. You watched the clouds go by in the window across from you, and you couldnât help letting your gaze slide over to Spencer. Heâd put his phone down as well, concentrating on his book. Or pretending to concentrate. He was turning the pages much too slowly for his actual pace.Â
You: you have got to do a better job of fake reading than that
You heard a page turn.Â
You looked up again to see the ghost of a smile threatening the corner of his mouth.Â
This was going to be fun. And also, you were so screwed.Â
the hierophant
(created for the one piece tarot project a while back~)
One piece opening 4 my beloved