Latest Posts by tannieschim - Page 4
ARMYâs Pet Name / Nickname?
RM: Eternal companion and friend Suga: Reason for existence Jin: ARMYâs just ARMY, irreplaceable with other words J-Hope: Forever my Achillesâ heel ~âĄâĄ Jimin: Pretties V: My friend and best friend Jungkook: ARMY = Love
hi hii I was wondering if you had any taekook x reader fics ? đ , also wondering if I could I go as đŻ anon if that's okay? I love ur recs so much and ur page is a LIFESAVER , ily bae <3
đ· Dear đŻïž anon! I am sorry for answering so late. My drafts are all messed up but I was able to focus on this. On my đ pinned post, I actually asked if you meant love triangles or MMF smut but you didn't reply. So, I'll just put both =)
Enjoy! Much love and credit goes to all these wonderful writers who brought these fics to life đđ„ł
TaeKook Fics (Taehyung x Reader x Jungkook)
Love Triangle/s
M/M/F Smutty One Shots/Series
#ReadwithMe (fics in my reading queue/planning to read)
Love Triangle
All I Want @ardentlyjae - series [6/6] | 126k | War AU, Soldier!Taehyung | Heavy Angst, S
I actually read this on AO3 but I realized itâs on tumblr too. I remember this fic every time I hear Kodalineâs All I Want, which the fic was inspired by
Anima Meaology @arckook - series [5/5] | 26k | Soulmate AU, soulmate glitch (those with mismatched tattoos on their wrist) | A, F
I read this long ago on AO3 when I had this soulmate AU-fixation phase and I saw it on tumblr recently. Just had to read it again đ„ș
Aquarium, Part 2 @whatifyoulivelikethat - two shot | 6.9k | cheating/infidelity, healing/comfort, second chances | A, F
I really like this comfort fic đ„°. Also shows that people deserve second chances, even the person who caused so much hurt. Screamed about it here and here
Change @junghelioseok - series [10/10] | 39.2k | a kind handsome stranger (Taehyung) makes you question your deteriorating relationship (Jungkook) | A, S, F
can I just say that Taehyung is such a sweetheart here đ„°? I always envision Paris Taehyung 2018 in this
Everything Goes @jamaisjoons - one shot | 24k | Fuckboy!Taehyung, Bestfriend!Taehyung, Stranger!Jungkook, unrequited love | A, S Â (really angsty)
First Light @inktae - one shot | 24k | Bestfriend!Taehyung, Masked Jungkook who canât seem to leave the forest, Fantasy AU, based on hotarubi no mori e | F
If youâve seen my fic recs list, inktae is always part of my recs. The way they write is just emotionally and visually haunting. Their works are just masterpieces. This is beautifully heartbreaking and heartbreakingly beautiful.
House of Cards @aiimaginesbts - series [10/10] | 40k | infidelity au, taehyung in an arranged marriage with someone else, roommate Jungkook | A, S, F
donât we all want to have a roommate like Jungkook who will be there to comfort you over your heartbreak over someone else?
Stealing the Bite by wildernessuntothemselves - series [6/6] | 37k | witch!reader x werewolf!taehyung x vampire!jungkook, supernatural au, fantasy au | S, A
I mentioned before that some are divided re the ending, so I wonder whatâs going to be the reactions of others
The Muse @daddychims - one shot | 30k | Author!Reader, Bestfriend!Taehyung, Fuckboy!Taehyung, Coworker!Jungkook, Taehyung offered OC to watch him have sex with another so she could write an erotic scene | S, A, F
The Universe of Us (read on mobile) @/taesthetes (officially closed her account) - one shot | 21k | Dream AU, Fantasy, Slice of Life, Kimi no Nawa-inspired | F, A
I am never going to shut up about this fic lol. Itâs not exactly a love triangle, ugh hard to explain but please read this wonderful fic. Check their other KTH x R x JJK soulmate fic Cloud Ten too.
When You Least Expect @johobi - series [12/14 + drabble] | 118k | Slow Burn, Love Triangle, Drama, Childhood Friend Taehyung, set up with another guy (Jungkook) | S, A, F
ugh, I want to put another tag about Jungkook but I guess itâs a surprise. I just love the drama đż
đ· Iâm forgetting two more fics but Iâll update this once I remember. I havenât read recently released fics too! Iâll add if there are good ones that come along
MMF Smutty One Shots/Series
A Piece of You @httpjeon - one shot | 13.9k | abo dynamics, camboy AU, camgirl AU, fan jungkook joins the cam session | S, F
Allâs Fair @kimvtae - one shot | 13k | soulmate AU, college AU, dating Taehyung for a year but different name (Jungkook) showed up on OCâs wrist (lol itâs not a problem if you can get them both)Â | S
Blacklisted @/httpjeon - one shot | 21k | dom/sub AU, CEO AU, âafter departing from your dom, youâre assigned to two incredibly powerful menâ | A, F, S
Business @btssmutgalore - two shot | 28.9k | executive!reader, inventors/start-up owners taekook | S (seriously, how could I have missed including this here)
Dulce Periculum @forgottenpasta - two shot [2/2] Â | 16k | Hybrid AU, Tiger Hybrid!Tae, Owner!Reader, Wolf Hybrid!Jungkook | S, A, F
Easy Like Sunday Morning @ofsugakookies - one shot | 11.8k | boyfriend AU (yes, both of them), dom!taehyung, sub!jungkook | S, PWP
It Takes Two To Make A Thing Go Right @imaginethisbts - two shot [2/2] 11.6k | Hybrid AU (dog hybrids) | S, A (side note: I realized Iâve read all of their fics! give their masterlist a try)
Just Kidding @/whatifyoulivelikethat - series [5/?] | 21.1k+ | nympho OC, friend Taehyung, taeâs roommate Jungkook | S, kinda F, crack
this is actually fun đ; and the episodes are written in a drabble-ish sort of way so you wonât feel like it needs to be updated to get the story moving. Itâs basically just reading fun scenarios of nympho OC and these two satisfying her needs *wink wink
Not So Digital @jiminables  - sequel to Digital Boy | 2.7k | camboy!taehyung, bestfriend!jungkook, short mxm | S, slight F
Playing to Win @tayegi - one shot | 8.6k | FWB AU (tae), sort of enemies to lovers (jungkook), TaeKook (mxm), originally Taehyung x OC (fwb) | S
okay this is one of my favorites! Iâm amazed at how the power dynamics were written. Taehyung seems a dom with OC but with Jungkook he is all soft and sub; then, thereâs that dynamic between Jungkook and OC who disliked each other originally. I just found the shifting so interesting and the writer was able to display these changes in dom/sub behavior among the three characters really well
Pour Up @jungkxook - one shot | 14k | fuckboy AU, fratboy AU (applies to two of them), one sassy OC, one kind of jealous Koo | S (thank you dear author for reposting this! đ„°)
Shhh @bang-tan-bitches - drabble (with OT7 sequel) | 2.7k | PWP (just pure hot imagine)
Shameless @imaginethisbts - one shot | 5.1k | established relationship (jungkook x oc), Taehyungâs POV, exhibitionism | S (not exactly threesome, because JK and OC are just doing it in front of people, Taehyung had a bit of action in the end)
Sugar & Spice @divine-bangtan - one shot | 20.8k | Kikiâs Delivery Service!AU, Baker AU, Noona AU, Assistant!Jungkook, Rich!Taehyung, pining Koo, a bit of M x M Â | S, F, A (itâs all good everyone ends up happy đ)
Sugar and Spice @sunkissedjk - two shot [2/2] | 8.6k | Your friends ask you whether you prefer sugar (jjk) or spice (kth) | S
ugh this is such an indulgent imagine. If taekook are your friends and they help you decide what type of sex you prefer through a demonstration, wouldnât you want for multiple demos before deciding? *wink wink
Sacrilegious @therealmintedmango -  part of the Gods and Monsters series | 15.6k | Demon!Jungkook, Fallen Angel!Reader, God!Taehyung | S (so sinful đđŠ)
Sweat Pea @nitaescence - series [10/10] | 63k | DDLG!AU, caregiver!jungkook, caregiver!taehyung, little!oc | S, F, A
so Iâm glad there was an ask about caregiver!jungkook because I remembered this. I actually checked if thereâs a follow up drabble because the ending is open to any interpretation so Iâm curious how other readers interpreted it
051 + Scumâs Wish @scriptmin - one shot | 3k | bestfriend!jungkook, pining!oc (unrequited), rebound!taehyung | S, A
itâs actually kind of sad đ but I added this because it's good to have variety. Not all smutty pieces will be a happy one
Tattooed Two @/httpjeon - one shot | 8.5k | tattoo artist AU, boyfriend Jungkook joined by his bestfriend Taehyung | S, F
The Doms Next Door @tatertotthethot - series [3.1/?] | 33.8k+ | BDSM AU, Poly, Neighbor AU, Tattoo Artist AU | S
I really love this series. Itâs so funny too, I remember Jimin here - heâs THAT bestfriend you want to have. PLUS TaeKook are absolutely hot. If you're not interested in being a sub or partaking in bdsm, you will reconsider
The Hush Series @suga-kookiemonster - two shot [2/2] | 16.9k | coworkerâs friends TaeKook, sort of E2L (Jungkook), dom!taehyung, a bit of voyeurism | | S
okay, I really like authorâs writing. It can be about sinful delicious smut scenes but I noticed the members always have this developed characterization. I actually find Taehyung so adorably charming - makes me wonder if irl tae is secretly sinful too behind that sweetness lol
Thic Trilogy @btsinned - series [3/7] | 37k+ | CEO AU, Hybrid AU, College AU, Chubby!Reader | S, F, A
đ·Â Iâm throwing in fics in my reading queue #ReadwithMe
Attitude Adjustment @s0seo - one shot | 11.8k | Roommate AU | S
Chain Reaction @kissmetae - one shot | 3.2k | boyfriend Taehyung and friend Jungkook helping OC relax | S
Cherry @kpopstories - series [4/?] | 29k+ | Â college AU, fuckboy AU, love triangle | A, S, F (this is part of my ongoing reading list)
Cobalt Blue @hauntedlilies - one shot | 11.3k | artist AU, âyou asked Jungkook to draw you like one of his french girlsâ | S
When Youâre Mad @honeyj00ns - one shot | 3.8k | established relationship (boyfriend Jungkook), enemies to lovers Taehyung, Taehyung is JKâs bestfriend, Christmas AU, College AU| S
Madam Cupcake @craztextae - series [6/?] | 69.2k+ | Sugarbaby AU, Idolverse, idol!jungkook meets OC through an app called âsugarmamas(.)comâ | S, F
Player Two @minjoonalist - one shot | 10.6k | Gamer!Jungkook, Boyfriend!Jungkook, Boyfriend!Taehyung, Brat!Reader | S
Tag Team @goodnight-tae - one shot | 5.2k | stripper AU, TaeKook are roommates and friends who share most things đ | S, PWP
Whoa @bangtanlalaland - one shot | 4.7k | skater!taehyung, 1970s AU, coworker!jungkook | S, PWP, Crack
posted: 2021 March 12; updated: 2021 May 12
link to other fic recs here
feel free to recommend a fic
3:47 AM (m) | Kim Taehyung, 8.3k
Pairing(s): Taehyung x Reader
Summary: Unrequited love sucks. But it may have led you to someone else. That someone else being Taehyung. But thereâs an issue. You might not be over Yoongi and he might still be hung up on someone else - his long-term girlfriend, or now ex. As you remember the past, you and him began to reflect, what you wanted may not have been as great as you remembered. And now, with all that time together, can things be progressing elsewhere?
Warnings/Tags: RATED M (18+); for language, minor angst (you and Taehyung are still very much heartbroken but there is hope of moving forward - this is a maybe loool); smut (fem-reader; choking; penetrative sex); idol!AU - friends with benefits, maybe lovers). Fluff? Fluff.
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There are a couple of flashbacks embedded here - may have gotten a little bit carried away, but oh well đ
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2017
"I have big dreams you know," Yoongi murmured, as if talking to himself. You were both alone, sat in a VIP box at the Gocheok Sky Dome where it gave an unparalleled view of the space. BTS had just completed with Wings Tour and with the additional dates being sold out, Yoongi was on cloud nine. It was empty as the audience had filtered out and the view of the seating was surreal. You remembered Yoongi telling you that it had the capacity for sixteen- thousand people. Thatâs when you realised that you were far from Daegu and the small auditorium where he would practice, in front of you and his older brother.
Sated and flushed from the concert, Yoongi enjoyed the cool air that met his skin, he had a black hoodie on with a white shirt underneath. You had attended the final date of the tour in Seoul, he was able to give you VIP tickets and you sat with his family, transfixed by the roar of the crowed as they sang each lyric with fervour.
"I know you do,â You smiled, supportive. It was only and upwards trajectory from here, you knew that heâd reach even higher heights and that only made you excited for him. You thought back to when he would let you hear snippets of what he was working on every now and then. Those were the moments that touched you the most, the fact that he was willing to share them and valued your opinion. The silence between you was comfortable, but it was getting to the point of awkwardness. You wasn't exactly sure why he asked you stay, you were busy these days, not like him but still. Something at the pit of your stomach told you that there was something more to this meeting than you had anticipated. Yoongi looked down on his nails, absentminded but deep in thought. You had to force yourself to hold back a sigh, it was getting late.
"Yoongi I-"
"I'm seeing someone."
Your breath caught in your throat and you looked away quickly, desperate something to quell an upcoming wave of tears. Why are you even affected? It had been months since you saw him, you were daft to think that he hadnât found someone in that time. Blinking several times, you bit your bottom lip and clenched your jaw. The grip on the chair was so strong that your entire body went rigid.
"You have a way of saying big things so casually," You laughed, trying to hide the tremor in your voice. Keeping your gaze on the numerous seats that filled the floors below, you collected yourself before he noticed. Focusing on yours shoes, they were noticeably scuffed at the front.
Yoongi chuckled softly, sounding completely happy, "You know me."
Those words made your blood ran cold. A shiver went through your body. Yoongi noticed and immediately shrugged off his hoodie, draping it across your shoulders. It was warm, and it smelled like him. You accepted it because that was just something Yoongi would do, it didnât matter who you were.
"What's she like?" It was an innocent question, not at all telling of the turmoil you felt inside. There was a noticeable pause, then Yoongi let out a small exhale, like the beginnings of a laugh. You knew that that meant he was holding back his excitement, he was probably so happy, he could burst.
"You should meet her. She's - she's so right for me, you'll see. We met a couple of weeks ago, in the middle of the tour... I can't even explain it," he was stumbling over his words. It was as if an apparition of the woman he spoke of stood right in front of him. You looked at Yoongi and noticed how bright his eyes were, how he was enchanted just at the thought. Never mind that he had just performed his heart out in front of thousands of people, he didnât look exhausted at all. He had a wide smile, goofy and innocent. The sides of his eyes crinkled, like when he was really happy. In that moment, his demeanour was unlike his on-stage presence.
It didnât take long before the hoodie became useless. Yoongiâs mere statement was enough to shatter any form of symbolism you kept for yourself. You were just cold and he was being gentlemanly, always supportive of because you had known each other forever. And in that moment, you reminded yourself that you would always be his friend first and nothing more than that. You inhaled sharply, staring at the stage where they performed not too long ago, swallowing thickly as you experienced a wave of adrenaline. You wanted to run away, to turn back time, to go back to when you were just sitting in silence. That was better that talking about her, whoever she was.
âIâve got to meet this woman whoâs made you act like this!â You laughed.
It was as if someone else was talking in your stead. Someone who looked like you, talked like you. A proxy. Yoongi chuckled and buried his face in his hands, embarrassed at himself. He threw his arm around you, it was natural, you had been friends for the longest time and you knew that when Yoongi couldnât express himself, he wanted to hold something, to anchor himself. But this time, you froze at his touch. Noticing immediately, he searched your face and was met with a flicker of hesitation. You gazed at him, his expectant face mixed confusion at your reaction.
âSorry,â He muttered, still giddy from his confession, untangling himself from you.
âItâs okay, I was just surprised,â You said honestly. Yoongi was already elsewhere, thinking of the woman that made his world turn unexpectedly.
âAnyway, I better get back, do you need a lift home?â He announced, getting up swiftly and dusting himself off. You shook your head.
âI can take the subway.â
âYou sure? Itâs quite late,â He asked, worried all of the sudden. You let your shoulders sag as you began to lift his hoodie from them. Yoongi shook his head and gave you a side hug.
âGive it to me some other time.â
With that, you walked together, descending down the stairs back to the exit. You heard him humming to himself as he went along as you followed, your hands feeling numb.
-
2018
âWhy donât you call Yoongi? We should celebrate!â
Your mother was busy plating the food as you father continued to watch the news by your side. The jacket that you wore for was draped on a spare chair after you had finished a gruelling 10 hour shift. Dinner was plated and steaming, it was your first day at work and it did not fail to exhaust you.
âHeâs either busy preparing for the tour or doing shows. I canât just call him last minute like before,â you explained, picking up a spoon so you could have a taste of the soup.
âWell, itâs worth a call.â
âNo, itâs okay.â
Halfway through the celebratory cake the doorbell rang. With your parents tucked in bed and your nose buried in some report you were preparing, you didnât bother to get up thinking it was unruly kids on your apartment floor. They had been doing this thing where they would ring random doorbells and run away immediately. They were lucky that your father was asleep, otherwise they would have been terrified by his thunderous voice.
But as the doorbell rang incessantly, to point of nearly waking up your parents, you had to abandon your efforts of finishing the report to tend to the door. Yoongi stood behind a big bouquet of flowers, his cherry coloured hair peeking from the assorted petals. Suddenly feeling self-conscious in your dishevelled appearance, you noted that he must have travelled straight from a taping.
âYoongi!â You smiled, taken aback. Receiving the flowers off of his arms, he returned your smile, reaching in for a side hug.
âCongratulations on your first day!â He exclaimed, letting himself in. It was all so normal, he would first unlace his shoes and arrange them neatly. Then he would beeline to the front room, eventually sitting at the kitchen table. Your heart was racing all of the sudden, and you hugged the flowers close, the paper and cellophane crinkling beneath your hold.
Under the glow of the overhead lamps, Yoongi wolfed down some of the leftover food while leafing through the documents on the side. He was intently scanning the pages, as if it was the most interesting thing in the world. You arranged your hair, nervous at his presence. He noticed you standing in front of him, awkward in your own home.
âWhy are you acting so shy?â He chuckled, turning his attention to you. He looked happy, his dark red hair suited him. He looked particularly handsome.
âNothing!â You sat in front of him and helped yourself with the cake. The silence settled as you got lost in your thoughts. It wasnât until you cleared your plate did Yoongi get up to clear the table.
âOh, donât worry about that, you should head home, Iâm sure your manager is waiting.â
âActually yeah, I was just gonna leave, Hye-yeonâs waiting downstairs in the car.â He replied softly, turning sheepish. The feeling of dread descended in the pit of your stomach once again. Yoongi always drew his boundaries clearly with everyone he knew, and you were no exception. Holding your tongue to prevent any further questions from seeping through, you smiled at his genuine happiness.
âGo on then, I canât believe you kept her waiting!â You exclaimed, holding your breath.
Yoongi blushed. Looking up, he noticed that you were squeezing your thumbs in a fist - something you only did due to stress. But as your eyes met, you released your hands from the imaginary tension and busied yourself with stacking the leftover plates. In an attempt to clear the air, your pushed him gently to the door.
âSee yourself out - you shouldnât keep your girlfriend waiting.â
You turned her back swiftly so he wouldnât see how your features fell despite your cheerful tone. Yoongi was already on his phone sending and with a casual wave, you parted ways.
âSee you soon?â You called out as he disappeared into the corridor.
âYeah - see you!â
You didnât get many of those surprise visits anymore as Yoongi got busier and busier. So the world carried on as it was, and you worked until you couldnât feel anything anymore.
-
Yoongi was stood outside your apartment with a paper bag in his right hand. Meanwhile, you stood with cash in hand, ready to pay for the take away you impulsively ordered. Wearing a face mask and dressed mostly in black, he shifted on his feet, not looking at you in the eye.
âUh, my mother wanted me to give you this since you havenât visited in a while,â He began, his voice muffled. You still didnât say anything, your skin prickling with goosebumps. Suddenly, you were hyper aware that you were just dressed in sweatpants that had numerous stains and an over-sized t-shirt that had a frayed collar. That was not intentional, that was an indication of how ratty and old it was. Yoongi was still waiting for your reply, casting sideways glances at the empty corridor. Then you remembered.
âOh, uh, come in, come in!â You said, turning your body so you could press it against the wall so that he could come through. You bit your lip at the state of your apartment. Printed sheets were scattered on the floor, several glasses of water and mugs of coffee, all sequestered in one corner, by the growing collection of plants you had. Yoongi didnât take any notice of it at all, setting the paper bag on the counter. He was checking his phone when you noticed a couple of condoms mixed in the transparent container where you stored your tea bags, right next to the toast. The foil packets were painfully stark against the white paper tea bags. Taehyung must have placed them in there. Ease of access. Your apartment as already small, and itâs not like the bedroom was on a separate wing. You remembered Taehyung emptying the box, scattering the condoms around your apartment.
You need one here.
Taehyung, weâre not going to fuck on top of my washing machine.
(You eventually did. It was uncomfortable. Your ass was sore for at least a day.)
What about here?
The balcony? Are you serious?
Fine. Can I put it here?
He was talking about the very tea dispenser that was on the left side of Yoongi, who was still on his phone. Strategically placing yourself behind him, pretending to arrange appliances, you swiped the box and hid it underneath a cupboard. Yoongi pocketed his phone and looked at you, just as you slammed it shut. He had taken his face mask off and chuckled at how flighty you were.
âYou didnât have to come over here, I could have picked it up myself,â You mumbled, hiding your hands behind your back. Yoongi shrugged.
âI had some time after rehab, I donât mind.â
You found yourself nodding, you noted that he did shrug with both shoulders. So he must be making good progress. Yoongi then reached into the bag and produced a couple of Tupperwares. Rushing to his side, you took it from him so he wouldnât strain himself. When you stacked them together, you noted that it was mostly home made dishes, the ones you would share with him in high school when you would spend time at his house after school.
âAre you okay?â He suddenly asked. And you froze. You met him in the eye and he was looking at you intently, his dark hair getting in the way of his eyes. He didnât push it back. You were more dumbfounded that anything. It had been weeks since he found out about your crush and you hadnât really spoken to each other. And in that time, you were with Taehyung, sleeping together and burying your feelings by fucking. So you never really stopped to think if you were okay. The assumption was that he was asking if you were okay with him rejecting you. And mostly, if you were okay with him coming back in your life, as a friend. Yoongi came back to you as someone you were close to, who would support you in a different capacity since he couldnât return your romantic feelings. And it was just like Yoongi to ask that, he was still a friend after all. Ultimately, that didnât mean that he would phase you out of his life. It was unrequited love, not the end of the world. You sighed, you didnât meant to, but it was pushed from your chest, escaping your lips, long and drawn out. Yoongi was still looking at you.
âYeah Yoongi, Iâm fine,â You answered, somewhat believing it yourself in that moment. He was in your apartment, giving you the food that you both had when you were younger. It was a silent offering, Iâm sorry. Iâm here. Letâs go back, I can be here for you, if youâd have me again. Yoongi nodded, a small smile creeping up his lips. He took the top Tupperware and set it down, you followed his movements as he took two clean bowls from the drying rack.
âShould we eat?â He offered, already taking a place on one of the chairs. You nod. But before you could settle, you noticed that his car keys had a keychain on. It was the same one that you have gifted him for his birthday last year, and that made you smile. You didnât know why you thought things would drastically change following him knowing that you liked him, it was nice that he kept something that you gifted. You could still remember how he smiled when he fished it out.
-
2019
Yoongi had managed two free days on his schedule for the week and decided to host a small gathering with the members and couple of friends. Not arriving too late or too early, you found yourself hanging out in the kitchen with Dami, sorting out the food. Yoongi had decided to order food in as it was too much of a hassle to make anything. The plastic containers were all lined up, complete with the various utensils like chopsticks and spoons.
"I can't believe it's been another year!" Dami exclaimed, poking holes in the plastic film. Soon, fresh sashimi was on display for everyone to have a bite on. You were busily arranging the fruit bowls to ensure that everyone had an equal share.
"Yoongi is becoming an old man," You laughed. You fished out your phone to show an edited version of Yoongi, at least 30 years older. It was on Twitter and you saved it as soon as you saw it.
"It would he hilarious to surprise him with that," Dami grinned, arranging the utensils on a big tray. The small paper bag caught your eye as it poked from underneath a table, but it was inconspicuous. Hopefully it would stay hidden as the night went on since you planned to give it to him at some point. Just then, Hye-yeon entered the room with a big red box, presumably containing the cake. Side stepping, you made room so that the spare space on the kitchen island was vacant for her to access. She smiled in thanks and set it down, careful to keep it even.
"I'm so glad I beat the traffic,â Hye-yeon sighed, fixing her hair. You couldn't help how your chest tightened since the desperation to switch places with her amplified.
"Thanks for manning the food for me guys, I had a longer shift at the hospital and couldn't get away," she added, untying the ribbon around the box. You smiled. Dami patted her shoulder affectionately, "Of course!â
As the evening wound down, you found yourself wanting to top up your drink. You wondered if it was time to give him the gift. Slightly unsure of yourself but excusing yourself anyway, you made your way to the kitchen. Once there, you came across Yoongi and Hye-yeon smiling from ear to ear. You realise that she had just given him a gift - and it looked like a fountain pen. Encased in the familiar burgundy box, you had wanted to get him that yourself but it tipped the price point. You instantly felt your efforts pale in comparison. Suddenly, you decided that the custom made keychain that was stuffed in a makeshift bag was not worthy of his attention. Noticing your dumbfounded expression, you schooled yourself and headed straight to where the drinks were, reminding yourself to collect the bag from nearby.
"Come and look at this," Yoongi beamed, eager to share his gift. Glancing at their direction, you raised your eyebrows to feign enthusiasm. Hye-yeon laughed, covering her face in embarrassment, "Stop, it's not even that big of a deal!"
Upon closer inspection, you realise that it had his name engraved in gold lettering. The body of the fountain pen was all black, set on a satin burgundy bed. Yoongi, proud as ever, took it out and popped the lid, revealing a marvellous gold nib. It was impressive and thoughtful. Yup, you were definitely not going to give him your gift.
"That's so pretty!" You offered, observing it as it twirled in between Yoongi's pale fingers. He was grinning so hard that you saw the sides of his eyes crinkle.
"Hyung, I couldn't find the bottle opener, is it here?" Jimin's voice cut through. You saw that he was busily rummaging through the cupboards with a bottle of wine in his hand. You also noticed that he was travelling towards a location that was eventually nearing the bag. Setting the drink down, you walked towards Jimin, attempting to displace his search.
"I know where it is," You replied before Yoongi could even reply. Reaching forwards under the pretence of looking, you swept the bag out of sight and set it on a chair under the table. But Jimin was quick to register. As your eyes met, you felt your face grow warm with heat as you were more or less caught. But as his eyes softened, he relented his search and gave you the opportunity to disclose where the bottle opener was. Luckily it was just lying out in the open and you handed it over to Jimin. Yoongi and Hye-yeon were already making their way out. Sighing with relief, you leaned on the countertop, setting your half empty drink down.
"Was that meant to be for Yoongi-hyung?â Jimin asked, twisting the opener into the firm structure of the cork.
"Yeah," You confessed, defeated. Even though you were sure that it wasn't a shitty present, you wished that you hadn't seen what Hye-yeon had gotten him. Now you felt as if there was no point since it dawned on you that you were both past the age of novelty gifts. Hearing the cork release from the bottle, you looked up only to see Jimin fish the bag from where it was left.
"Jimin, can I have it back?" You sighed, your mood dampening as he taunted you by hanging it on his finger.
"Why don't you give it to him?" He pouted, trying to sneak a peek by opening the bag and poking his finger through the tissue paper. Giving up, you sighed and reached for the wine bottle in his hand and poured some in your glass. When the keychain finally on display, Jimin cooed. You forgot that you also had his name etched on a separate panel. It was a Kumamon bear holding an orange with a speech bubble that said "Kkaep-Jjang!"
"Hyung would love this," he laughed, laying it flat on his palm. When he turned it, he found an engraving at the back that said "I'm the King, I'm the Boss". It was that moment that made Jimin laugh, doubling over and nearly toppling his drink.
âStop okay,â You chuckled, seeing how its features brought out someoneâs sentimentality. Jimin recovered, taking another swig at his drink.
âNo but seriously, this is so cute,â He sighed, thumbing the keychain in his hand. Reaching over, you took it from him and attempted to pocket it. Maybe you can use it instead.
âIf you donât end up giving it to him, can I give it instead? My present is great but this adds a personal touch,â Jimin sighed, stepping closer to intercept you. As he caught your wrist, your eyes widened at his sudden movements. Jimin was usually more physical when he was inebriated, and you could confirm that he was probably tipsy at this stage.
âJimin quit being like this, Iâll use it instead,â You reasoned, firmly detaching yourself from him. He pouted in defeat, his honey coloured hair falling over his eyes. You suddenly felt sad and insecure, which was ridiculous since it was over a harmless present. But you realised that having such inferior feelings over a mere keychain versus a fountain pen only served to highlight that you were acting like a sore loser and helplessly in love with a taken man.
âHello? Were you even listening?â Jimin interjected, sticking his face near yours. You brought yourself back to reality, pressing your forehead against his in jest. âNo,â You confessed, getting back to your drink. Jiminâs brow furrowed, seemingly upset. âWhat I was saying was that you should just give it to him, no need to feel insecure, each gift has value.â
Gritting your teeth, you hated how transparent you were at the worst of times. Just then, Taehyung entered the kitchen with Dami. Eyeing how you and Jiminâs heads were lowered and staring into each otherâs eyes, Taehyung cleared his throat to signal his presence.
âWe were sent to get the cake,â He replied gruffly, staring at you a little longer than expected. Damiâs expression was stony, far contrast to her smiling face earlier. You wondered what had happened.
âIs it time for the singing?â Jimin gasped, setting the bottle and his drink down. You pulled back and shoved the keychain further down your back pocket. Sounds of clutter began as Taehyung desperately searched for the candles, Jimin had already left the kitchen to join in on the fun. Left with nothing to do, you made a move to follow him.
âYou should give whatever you got for him, heâd like it all the same,â Taehyung said right before you exited. You looked up, the heat rising to your face as you realised he heard more than you wanted him to.
âItâs okay,â You confess, skin prickling at the thought of Yoongi opening it and giving you that sympathetic smile. Taehyung found the candles and placed them gingerly on top of the cake. You watched as his hair fell over his eyes, he looked good in casual wear. He said nothing more and you followed him outside.
When most of the guests had left, it was just you, Hye-yeon, Jimin, and Yoongi left, clearing up the place. You didnât have anything on for work, so you stayed. Jimin was in the kitchen for far too long, all you had asked him to get a black bin bag. But when he emerged, he had that and the bag where you had your gift. Lunging forward, you tried to snatch it from Jimin, who dodged you expertly. You glared at him, You are so dead. Instead, Jimin winked at you. Yoongi looked up as he stacked the plates.
âHyung, you have one more present!â Jimin announced, crossing the distance between him and Yoongi, and placed the paper bag directly in his hand. Yoongi looked at you and realised that you got him the gift. He smiled and reached in, taking it out. Your ears burned as you busied yourself in packing the spare confetti. You heard him laugh, like his genuinely laugh. Then, his arm was around your shoulders, squeezing you.
âThank you, I love it.â
Jimin smirked at you, wiggling his eyebrows as you found yourself smiling.
-
It was Taehyungâs birthday and he woke up alone. For the past three years, Dami would wake up early and come into the room with what she called a âBirthday Breakfast Muffin.â And it would be a simple one - blueberry flavoured. Then, she would set it down by the bedside table to wake him first by lifting the duvet up slightly, so the cold air wonât startle him. When he felt her body lie close to him, he would immediately unfurl from his sleeping position and wrapped her in his arms, till he could squeeze giggles out her. Dami would always kiss his cheek and lift herself off to present him the muffin, and he would act like it was the first time heâd seen it. And Dami would kiss him, between mouthfuls of blueberry crumbs, singing Happy Birthday softly against his lips. Then, before he had to go, they would have a proper breakfast together and in the evening, drink their favourite wine and slow dance in the living room.
Now, his room was quiet and there was nothing on the bedside table. No one had lifted the duvet carefully and he had woken up still in the same position he was in - curled up, with a pillow between his legs and arms. The screen on his phone was alight as messages flooded through, casting a white glow against the wall. Sighing, he picked it up, thumbing down the notifications. He didnât want to reply but he had to out of courtesy. As he spent time checking each message, some from the members, some from other industry friends, he saw yours.
You [5:46AM] Happy Birthday :P
He smiled at that. It had been a couple of weeks since you had last spoken (and fucked) and he wasnât sure if he had missed you or just missed someone to hold. Their schedule was particularly packed towards the end of the year anyway and he threw himself into it, not wanting to be idle. Double tapping on your message to like it, he carried on replying for most of the morning, with his phone attached to the charger.
When Taehyung was the van on the way to the agency for his birthday broadcast, he wondered whether he viewed his relationship with Dami with rose-tinted glasses on. Whether he conflated getting comfortable with contentment. He wracked his brain for the moments where Dami was pulling away and if there was a time, why didnât he notice?
As the van shuddered due to a speed hump, he was brought back to reality. Through the dark tint of the windows, he saw the agency and then they approached the basement parking. Sighing, he pushed his glasses up his nose and cleared his throat. He needed to focus and speak live for at least an hour, so he abandoned any thoughts or opportunity for retrospection. It would eventually give him a headache anyway.
-
It was mid-January already and it was nearing 7pm. You were close in finalising the project that you had been working on for the past three weeks. You didn't bother to turn the lights on, letting the blue glow of the laptop spur you into hyper focus. Suddenly, you hear your front door open. Taehyung. Hands flying to switch the nearby floor lamp on, you didnât want to appear as a hermit. Light flooded the living room just as he appeared. Dressed in grey sweats, he carried a paper bag and carried a navy holdall. Placing his face mask and beanie on the counter, he watched you to look for signs of a meeting. You realise that you were still wearing your work clothes despite sitting crossed legged on the floor, hunched over the small screen for god knows how long.
"I'll just be 5 more minutes," you informed him, turning your attention back to the document. He smiles, producing a cheesecake and two cans of beer.
"I'll put these in the fridge, they've been stewing in the car," he sighed. You nod, not really caring. Silence passed, you typed the last few corrections, your eyes stung from the tiredness. You noticed that Taehyung was taking a little too long, rummaging through your fridge.
"You're wasting my electricity," You grumbled, logging out of the online portal. He ignored you, digging a white box that you've shoved in the back. Eyes widening, you scramble to stand up, running towards him to prevent him from opening it. The box was decorative and came from his favourite patisserie.
"Taehyung, put it back," you protest, trying (and failing) to snatch it away from his grasp. It didn't help that he raised it from your reach as he towered over you.
"What's this?" He queried, looking up at the base of the box.
"Taehyung please!" You pleaded, jumping up in desperation. But he leaned back till his back his the counter. He laughed as you jumped up again. The box was still well out of your reach. Giving up, you sighed deeply and stood back, crossing your arms over your chest. He waited for you to lunge at him but you retreated, going back to your laptop instead. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw that he set it down near the paper bag he brought. Heat rose to your face as you waited for his reaction. Taehyung opened the box and was met with an array of macarons. All different colours, he noticed that letters were on them, painted with chocolate. But some were already missing. Not entirely your fault. You hadnât seen each other for a while and you didnât want to waste your money, so you ate them gradually as you worked.
Appy irthday Ehyung!
On the bottom row, there were illustrations of Yeontan walking in profile. The remaining macarons had paw prints on them. He looked up at you and found you frantically shuffling some papers to appear distracted. Maybe if I donât look him in the eye, heâd just drop it. You thought, banking on Taehyungâs emotional intelligence.
"For me?" He asked coyly, picking the 'A' macaron and biting into it. You carried on shuffling papers and shoving them into a folder. If you could summon a giant black hole to open up, you would. He called your name, moving to sit next to you with the box in his hand. When the collection of macarons appeared in your view, you groaned in embarrassment. You wanted to bury yourself alive. Taheyung's arm slid on your shoulder as your face heated up from being found out.
"I think this is really sweet," he said, picking a macaron and offering it to you. It was pink with a paw print on it.
"No it's not Taehyung, it's weird. I shouldn't have gotten it," You sigh, biting into it. But he squeezed you closer to him.
"Well, it was for my birthday, and I think it's sweet," he repeated, finishing the macaron. Reaching for the TV remote, you switched the channel to the news.
âIs all you watch the news?â He asked, snatching the remote away from you. The screen swiftly changed to a variety show, which was probably a re-run.
âIt gets me knowing whatâs going on, sometimes the newspapers take too much time,â You answered, pulling your legs towards you and tucking your knees under your chin. You felt his gaze next to you.
âYou know, youâre so young, but youâve done so much,â He mutters, totally out of the blue. He reached for a pink macaron with Yeontan on it. But before he bit into it, he took his phone out to take a picture first. That made you smile.
âI guessâŠâ You offered, paying attention to the game on the screen. Both teams had to score a point for water polo. Needless to say, they were struggling all the same.
âI mean, youâve accomplished so many things too, youâre literally part of the worldâs biggest boyband right now,â You add, actually interested in the game.
âItâs not all that.â He sighed, finishing the macaron in one swift bite.
âWell, Iâd rather be depressed with $40 million in my account than depressed with $3.â You replied distractedly, seeing another email on your laptop screen. Taehyung found it in himself to laugh at how blunt you were. Dami was always understanding and consoling him for everything that bothered him, whereas you couldnât be bothered to entertain any sort of that. Which is why he thought you and Yoongi would be a good fit.
âYoongi-hyung said something similar to me when he and I went drinking,â Taehyung reminisced. Your ears perked up, somewhat curious that you had similar views.
âI was talking about how itâs so much pressure to be an idol and he just shrugged, said something like that, and then he told me that itâs better to be busy than idle. And anyway, weâve gained more than we lost, I think.â
It was your turn to laugh. That was just like Yoongi to say something like that. The other team on the TV won, and the sound of chaotic cheers filled your living room. Taehyungâs hand closed over yours, his thumb brushing your knuckles.
âNow?â
âMmhm,â He hummed, already leaning towards you. The sweet taste of macarons greeted your lips, then his tongue grazed yours. The taste of macarons lingered on your tongue. You moan, hands suddenly scrambling to remove his shirt, he gasped as your cold hands came into contact with his back.
âSorry,â You said in between moans as his hands hurriedly unbuttoned your blouse. Careful not to tear it open (like last time), he flung it to the far side of the room. Then came the zip of your trousers, you shed them from your legs, spreading your thighs as you reclined beneath him. He pressed himself against your throbbing core, rapidly becoming wet just from kissing. I mean, it has been, what? Weeks?
âBetter in the bedroom,â He muttered, lips on your neck. You nod, clawing at his back, hips grinding against him, earning a deep groan against your ears. Getting up was easy, but not when his arm locked around your waist as he stepped out of his own sweats, using you for balance. You laughed as his toes got caught in the fray.
âShut up,â he mumbled, slipping out of his hoodie and shirt. Both in your underwear, you stepped over the mess on the floor and made a beeline for the bedroom. You silently pat yourself on the back for remembering to wash the bedsheets. As your back hit the bed, the smell of freshly laundered sheets greeted you. Taehyung leaned over you, kissing your nose as he hooked his thumbs over your underwear. Teasingly slow, you watched as the black fabric left your body, revealing your soaked folds. Eyes trained on your wet cunt, Taehyung removed his underwear, cock springing free. You moaned as pre-cum covered the head of his cock. Scrambling to get the condom on your side table, he chuckled at how on the ball you were.
âShut up,â You mirrored him, finally finding it. Swiftly, you handed it to him and watched with bated breath as he slipped it on. When the head of his cock teased you core, you adjusted yourself, hips coming down. Your hand grasped him and he groaned at your impatience. Not wanting to waste anymore time, you ground your hips, feeling his cock become coated with your arousal, yet still he held back.
âFuck hold on,â he moaned as you took his fingers in your mouth, coating it with your saliva, using all available devices at your disposal. As his fingers left your mouth, you noticed that his other hand was placed on your shoulder, perhaps to brace himself. In that moment, you were aware that his thumb was unconsciously caressing the base of your neck. Your cunt clenched immediately. Taehyung jerked suddenly, your walls tightening around him even more. Your eyes met briefly, everything felt so hot.
"Choke me." You blurted out, it was instinctive, you rolled your hips to spur him on. Taehyung's eyes widened, only for a split second but you caught it. For the first time, he was hesitating. Silence continued and your walls throbbed around his cock. You inhaled sharply, aware that you couldn't let the moment pass.
"Taheyung," you gasped, moaning as he let you grind yourself against him, enveloping his cock in your folds.
"Are you sure? I've never done this before," he said, voice oddly calm. But you felt his hand begin to press the side of your neck, it was subtle but your pulse was beating steadily against his skin. You found yourself nodding, pushing yourself closer against him, back arching slightly, taking his cock even deeper. A small moan escaped your lips, hoping to coax him. The air became rarified with the anticipation that emanated from you both.
"I trust you," you reassured him, remaining still and waiting for him. With your eyes locked onto his, you gauged him, his bottom lip was tucked under his teeth. Something flitted across his eyes and then you felt his hand move across your neck, your breath hitched. He stopped suddenly, the pressure leaving your neck and soon as it arrived.
"No, keep going," you said, trying to keep the panic in your voice at bay. But you saw that he was chuckling, eyes darkening suddenly.
"No, I just, I never thought you'd be into this," he smirked. Heat floods your face.
"Hey I'm not a prude," you shot back, returning his gaze defiantly.
"Now get on with it," you demanded, spreading your thighs and proceeding to undulate your hips. Taehyung groaned, remembering that he was still sheathed inside of you, aware that your walls were throbbing in protest. Finally, his hand enclosed over your neck, you felt the pressure again, and a jolt of pleasure ran along your body. You shiver involuntarily, moaning as he also began to move his hips.
âTell me if youâre uncomfortable and Iâll stop, okay?â Taheyung panted, firmly planting his his other hand beside your head. Nodding as best you could, your breath hitched as he slammed his hips onto yours, the hand on your neck keeping a steady pressure. With your eyes fluttering shut, you sighed as your clit finally got the attention it needed. Lost in the depths of pleasure, you heard him say your name, a deep rasp that pierced any sense of logic you had left. It wasn't something that you could respond to anyway, as your voice garbled nonsense, words melting into mewls. He called your name again. This time, you opened your eyes, tongue wetting your lips as he pushed himself inside you.
"F-fuck, Taehyung, harder," you moaned, you couldn't contain it. Looking up at him, you knew that he was hesitating in putting more pressure. He knew you were pleading for his hand to put more weight on you. Seeing that his jaw was clenched, his groans mixing into grunts as he rutted into you, pressing you further up the mattress. Your arms raised themselves above your head, pushing against the headboard to brace yourself. Taehyung groaned at the sight, you knew that he liked you spread before him, your tits bouncing each time his hips slammed against yours. You were so wet that you were practically dripping around him and onto the sheets.
"You sure?" He asked, voice strained.
"Yes!" You gasped, eyes rolling in the back of your head as your arched up, pressing your entire self against him. Then, his hand added more weight, closing on your neck even more. A choked cry escaped your lips as they parted.
"Shit," he groaned, momentarily thrown off as he snapped his hips in response as your cunt clenched around him. You whined as the sensations began to overwhelm you, barely able to register anything as your voice was reduced to gasps. Taehyung wasn't faring either, teeth cutting his lower lip, biting so hard that it became a violent shade of dark pink.
"Keep going, don't stop, fuck," you gasped, arms straining from the force of his thrusts. Still, the fact that Taehyung's hand was on your neck only served to elevate your pleasure, causing you to leak more. He never wavered, thrusting into you rapidly. As your body began to be jostled, bouncing on the mattress from the force, his hold on your neck restricted you, taking the air that you sought. His groans and your cries coincided with the repeated slaps of skin on skin, the slick noises of your wet cunt enclosing on his cock.
"Fuck, I'm not gonna last," Taehyung groaned, his hand on your neck pressing tighter. Delighted in how he was taking the role, you bit your lip not caring if he finished first. It was euphoric, to have him believe that you trusted him and that he was doing what you asked. That thought alone was enough to send you over the edge.
"Just cum," You moaned, hands leaving the headboard to cup your breasts, pinching your nipples. You didnât care that you were being pushed up, so much so that you body was practically leaning on the headboard, your body basically bent in half. Taehyung grunted in response, then elicited a gasp as his thrusts become sloppier by the second. Everything was so hot and wet, his grip on your throat tightening further.
"Fuck, fuck, you're so fucking good," he moaned, his voice deep and clear. You relish in being able to give him pleasure, moaning even more as you closed your eyes and succumbed to his touch. With a final slam of his hips, he came with fervour, filling the condom, spilling his hot cum inside. With his hand still on your neck you whined as your swollen clit was suddenly neglected, his thrusts slowing down. But before you could protest, Taehyung had mustered the strength to continue thrusting into you.
"T-taehyung, ah, fuck,â you cried, hands flying to his forearm as he continued to choke you. Your fingers dug into his skin, small red crescents forming in their wake.
"Cum for me," he demanded not caring about the sting on his arm, eyes alight with determination. In that moment, you let go, orgasm ripping through you in a violent way, that combined with the lack of air caused you to get lightheaded as your cries were reduced to silence. White light clouded your vision and your body shuddered as it tried to cope with all the sensations that assaulted it. Taehyung's lips found your nipple, tugging it even more. You swore you were ascending as he coasted you through your orgasm, Fuck, yes, yes! You managed, your entire body singing from pleasure and pain. As he slowed his thrusts, you steadied your breath, his hands left your neck and body as he leaned back to slip outside of you. The emptiness made you groan as your walls throbbed around nothing. Taehyung leaned forward to plant a chaste kiss on your lips before rolling next to you, completely spent. After some time, you both relaxed onto the bed, somewhat sleepy.
"Can I stay for a bit?" Taehyung muttered, already drifting. You didn't answer. Instead, you turned to him and slotted yourself against his body, your head against his neck. He used his arm to pull you closer, tucking you head underneath his chin.
-
The clock read 3.47AM. It was dark and you were tangled in each other's embrace. You had accidentally woken him up when you tried to go to the bathroom since your skin was sticky as your arousal was drying between your legs, on your chest, your lips. Now, Taehyung's arm was underneath your head, his other hand took yours to outstretch it to the ceiling. You weren't sure what the purpose of that was since your arm was shorter than his, so his elbow ended up at an angle. Still, you played along, rocking your palm against his.
âI canât sleep. I keep thinking about the time where I messed up during a conference." He confessed. Chuckling at himself as he remembered it. He was opening up more, usually it's after sex. It didn't bother you before but you did notice that cuddling was new.
"I was asked to describe the genre for one of the tracks, and I said something like disco pop poking ballad acoustic guitar sound," he outwardly cringed, folding into you. You laugh at his hair, untangling your fingers from his to hug him, he squeezed you back. You knew what he was talking about, the press conference for their BE album. But you couldnât remember which song.
"Can I ask what track?"
He starts laughing harder, his deep voice melodic, and he nuzzled more into the crook of your neck. You hug him tighter, your heart swelling at his display of affection.
"Blue and Grey." With that knowledge you actually laughed, fanning his hair with your breath. Taehyung pressed himself onto you, arms circling your waist.
"I know," he grumbled, deep voice reverberating against your skin. He pulled away, placing some distance between you, so you rested your head on the pillow as his arm slipped away. You schooled yourself as you automatically missed his embrace.
"I always get nerves during press conferences, now it's gonna add to the view that I'm from another planet," he sighed. He was looking up at your ceiling again, profile in view. It was hard to tell whether his eyes were closed or not since his fringe was in the way. Yet your hand remained by your side despite its protest of brushing it away.
"Well, I like you just the way you are," you mused. The silence that followed signalled that what you said may have been inappropriate. You had to remind yourself that you were just having sex. What you said seemed like a tentative statement, a hint that you wanted more as you reassured him. But it was unavoidable at this point, it came so natural to you. You waited, unaware that you were holding your breath. All that came was a small scoff from Taehyung, he brought his hands to his face, bracelets jostling together on his wrist. Guessing that he was still reeling from embarrassment, you trusted that he would gloss over what you said. Your face filled with heat as you prepared to turn over.
"Well, I should get going. Early shoot tomorrow." He sat up suddenly, threading his fingers through his hair. He was already reaching for his clothes. A small sliver of disappointment wrapped itself over you, your skin prickled with goosebumps.
"Sure. Drive safe." You said, turning over and pulling the duvet further up your shoulder.
"Thanks."
-
Well, I like you just the way you are.
It wasn't new. He had heard it more than a thousand times since he started his career, whether it was from his parents, the members, fans. So why did it feel different this time? Taehyung drove the car out of the parking lot, climbing the cemented hill to join the main road. Despite nearing midnight, various cars were still on the road. He drove in silence.
But in that silence, he remembered you. The small sighs you would make. How your bodies seemed to slot into each other perfectly nowadays. The snippets of encouragement that didnât come often but it was enough for him to notice. Clenching his jaw, he realised that what was happening between you guys was toeing the line. A shrill ring brought him out of his thoughts - Dami. Her name flashed on the screen of his car. He ignored it, driving forward as the light turned green.
previously.
idk why y'all don't talk about it more but here's namjoon saying "it's not in my vocabulary" and taehyung clapping back with "well then look it up" in his sec c deep af luxurious voice đłđ„”
im crying
Take My Hands Now (Part 5)
pairing: Jungkook x reader
word count: 2,291
genre: drama
summary: You were born with a condition that allowed you to feel the pain someone else was going through when you touched them. Jungkook, on the other hand, looked like he could not be any less bothered with other peopleâs feelings and was a well known playboy of the school. One night, at a party, while he attempted to turn you into his toy for the night, he grabbed your hand and pain crashed through you, making you wonder whether behind the facade of this pleasure seeker, he could also be hiding something.
warnings: noneÂ
Keep reading
Jooz List
== FAN FICS (Series) ==
Bad Timing [completed]
Highschool!au ; drama, angst, romance
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6
âââââââââââ
Pick A Side [completed]
University!au; drama, angst, romance, slice of life
Part 1Â | Part 2Â | Part 3Â | Part 4Â | Part 5Â | Part 6Â | Part 7Â | Part 8Â | Part 9Â | Part 10 | Part 11Â |Â Part 12Â | Part 13Â | Part 14Â
Take My Hands Now [completed]Â
University!au; drama, angst, romanceÂ
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6Â | Part 7 | Part 8Â | Part 9Â | Part 10Â | Part 11Â | Part 12Â
Close The Door Now [epilogue series to Take My Hands Now]
Part 1Â | Part 2
âââââââââââ
Foolish Love Fake Love [ongoing]
Idol!au; drama, angst, romance
Conceptual Prologue | Part 1Â | Part 2Â | Part 3Â | Part 4Â | Part 5Â | Part 6Â | Part 7Â | Part 8Â | Part 9
Sugar & the Beast [ongoing]
Joseon!au; drama, romance
Part 1Â | Part 2 | Part 3Â | Part 4
BTS x EXOÂ
//RM x D.O//
Bona Fide [ongoing]
Lawyer!au; drama, slice of life, romanceÂ
Prologue |
== FAN FICS (One Shot) ==
BTS
//Jungkook//Â
Favourite Look: fluff
Cross the Line: university/part-timer!au; fluff
//Suga - Yoongi//Â
Give It To Me: drama? Thriller?
//Jimin//
Letâs Swap: fluff (something like that)
//Jin - Seokjin//
Substitute Driver:Â CEO!seokjin x substitute driver!reader; bullet fic; not much genre, slight slight angstÂ
//V - Taehyung//
The Sea And The Gull:Â bullet fic; angst; cheating taehyungÂ
//RM - Namjoon//
AÂ Convenient Excuse: bullet fic; fluffÂ
EXO
//Baekhyun//
Sing For You: pub singer!au; romance, lifeÂ
//Xiumin - Minseok//
Paper Cuts: slice of life; romanceÂ
== REQUESTS ==
//Suga - Yoongi//Â
Happy Ending: Idol!au; gun violence during performance; angstÂ
I Need You: angst; some violence; abusive themes
//V - Taehyung//
Banana Milk: Idol!au; news of pregnancy; fluffÂ
//Jimin//
Lights: Supernatural!au; psychopomp Jimin; indirect mentions of death/suicide
Burn After Reading: Series Masterlist
Pairing: Kim Seokjin x Female Reader
Genres: drabble series, sfw (for now), action, heavy angst, exes-to-lovers, spy!AU
Tags/Warnings: slow burn, mutual pining, past relationship, tense situations, mentions of blood and violence, grief, minor character death, will be updated as story moves along
Summary:Â Summary: The agency made the biggest mistake they ever could by trusting Kim Seokjin one more time. You werenât going to do the same.
Banner made by me!
Let me know if youâd like to be tagged when (if) I update.
i. Head Start in Havana
ii. Birkins in Busan
iii. Interlude: Shadow
iv. Lovesick in Lisbon
v. Kairos in Cairo
vii. Onsra in Okinawa
viii. Last Tango in Paris
iv. Epilogue
October (MYG x F!Reader) - Oneshot
Pairing: Min Yoongi x F!OC/Reader
Genres: interns!AU, heavy heavy heavy ANGST (you have been warned), sfw
Warnings: ANGST (did I say that already), a story about love thatâs not a love story, some cursing, mentions of traumatic accident and brain injury/coma, mentions of hospitals and medical issues, mentions of life support and end-of-life-care, mentions of miscarriage, sadness and just generally people being assholes (including Yoongi), MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, please be kind to yourself and donât read if any of these things make you uncomfortable or sad (your wellbeing is valued and important)
Word count: 8.3k
Summary: Yoongi canât remember his life before the fall. He doesnât want to either - being with you while the mugunghwas bloom is enough.
A/N: Hi everyone! Putting this out there that this is probably the longest (and angstiest) thing Iâve ever written, and I cried a lot while writing it. This story is based on the Bollywood movie October, which is single handedly one of the most amazing films Iâve ever seen in my life. This story deals with heavy topics (read at your own discretion), but I really tried my best to use my healthcare knowledge and some research to make this an honest portrayal. I recommend reading Being Mortal by Atul Gawande if this topic interests you more. Honestly, it was a journey for me to write this, and although itâs very sad, Iâm really proud of it, and if you choose to read it, I hope it speaks to you in some way. Also, big thanks to Suzie (@lcksndkys) for beta-reading this and helping out on the medical side of things (sheâs the best, pls give her a follow)!
November
âHello, welcome to the Signiel, how may I help you today?â your chipper voice cuts through the din of the hotel lobby, a warm smile lighting up your face.
âYes, can you tell us whatâs good to see in your city?â The manâs accent is foreign, but kind. He seems genuinely in awe of the posh decor that surrounds him, and the subtle chill emanating from the sliding doors as they woosh open and close.
âAh yes, thereâs so much to see in Seoul! Thereâs Gyeongbokgung Palace, the Samsung Museum of Art, Namdameun MarketâŠ,â you drone on, sharply aware of a pair of cat-like eyes gazing at you from the corner of the lobby.
Your fellow intern Yoongi is there, mopping away at the already pristine marble floors, likely cursing his entire existence for accepting this internship. As interns, you expected youâd be in charge of greeting guests, taste testing the house specialties and coordinating events.
However, the menial tasks were a surprise. Sweeping floors, doing laundry, flushing toilets. Most of the interns, including you, took it in stride. Yoongi, however, was different.
Your eyes canât look away from him as you watch him furiously mop, back and forth, back and forth, so hard you think heâll knock the dirty bucket of water over and Manager Im will have his head.
Eventually his movements slow, coming to a complete halt. He lets out a deep sigh, the rich baritone of his voice cutting through the monotony of voices and travelling to your equally tired ears. Heâs turned away from you now, instead staring wistfully at the beautiful grand piano tucked away in the corner, its pristine facade reflecting every tiny moment happening in the lobby with immaculate detail.
Glancing back towards the guests, you muster up another smile and offer them their room keys. When you look up again, Yoongiâs gone.
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The clinking of champagne flutes and the echoes of footsteps can be heard as you prepare for tonightâs event. A wedding - one of Seoulâs richest CEOs marries its biggest social butterfly.
You remember reading the groomâs name in a magazine somewhere, and now it currently dwells at the back of your mind. Kim Taehyung? That sounds familiar.
Banishing the intrusive thoughts of handsome Mr. Kim from your mind, you turn back to the task at hand. Napkins should be perfectly folded, not a single crease visible, and the edges should be neat and even with one another. Flowers go in the specific order indicated on your index cards, and candles should be placed in the center of the table, far enough away from the edge that they donât fall and burn the whole place down.
As you finish placing the last flowers on the table, youâre rammed into by someone. The petals scatter to the ground, the petals creating a large mess where a sophisticated centerpiece should have been.
âShit, sorry, I-. Here, let me help you,â the person groans out, ennui evident in their listless tone.
âHi Yoongi! How are you today?â you greet him, carefully bending down and tenderly picking up each stray petal. The mugunghwa flowers feel soft in between the pads of your fingers, their smell light and sweet.
Yoongi lets out a sharp grunt of acknowledgement, as he hunches over and desperately shoves the flowers back into your hands, like a man possessed. As the last bloom finds his way back to you, he nods and makes his way towards Manager Im standing all the way by the stage.
Trying your best to refocus your attention, you catch the faint wind of their seemingly unpleasant conversation from where you stand.
âNeed off on the 30th and 31st -- parentâs anniversary -- silver jubilee.â
âHotel at full occupancy -- should know better -- go get a haircut and stop bothering me please.â
âFucking fine, keep me here to do your dirty work, then. All Iâm asking for is a job thatâs worth my qualifications, you know, like the fucking degree Iâm supposed to be getting for this?â
You wince at Yoongiâs last comment, knowing the words ring painfully true yet no one else is brave enough to voice them. Manager Im doesnât bat an eye, ushering Yoongi away with a sweep of his arms and moving on to another part of the room.
As he huffs past you to leave the room, you offer a weak smile Yoongiâs way.
âThank you for your help picking up the flowers again, Yoongi! Iâll see you later.â
Shoes tapping against the marble, he lifts his head but doesnât turn as he makes his way out of the ballroom, failing to spare a single glance in your direction.
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December 31st
âYou know what your problem is Yoongi? Youâre constantly annoyed,â Yeri drawls, scowling as the whipped cream topping her coffee drips onto the ground.
You swing your legs from side to side on the curb, avoiding eye contact with Yoongi as he pushes himself out from underneath the hood of your car.
âYou know why Iâm irritated? Itâs because Iâm constantly surrounded by you two,â he gestures to you both and scoffs.
âYah, donât tell me youâre annoyed about me calling you irritating,â Yeriâs voice goes shrill as Yoongi flips her off, slinging his bag around his shoulder and walking over to his motorbike.
âThank you for the oil change Yoongi!â you shout, but your voice is drowned out by the whirring of the engine as it fades away, the bike zooming down the road and away from you both.
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Tinsel and fairy lights shimmer along the vast hallway as Yoongi vacuums the carpet that is now full of glitter from the guestsâ merrymaking. Despite the cheery exterior scene, the inside of Yoongiâs headset is blaring Seo Taji and the Boys, not Deck the Halls.
Heâd unceremoniously landed himself in hot water with Im again, his frustration getting the best of him. Not surprisingly, Im had retaliated by putting him on cleaning duty the one night he knew all the interns were having their holiday party.
Yoongi groans loudly, blinking his eyes and letting his mind travel. If just thinks hard enough, he can almost imagine the bass thumping outside, the clinking of glasses as the drunkest one in the batch gets up to make their yearly toast⊠he can imagine you, full of warmth and laughter, sparing a smile for everyone you come across.
Yoongi hates that he canât hate you like he does the others. That youâre always asking him about his day, thanking him for doing the bare minimum when he could be doing more, appreciative of his mere presence when all Im and the others want is for him to get lost. To disappear.
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âYah, Namjoon, why are you on the ground again, are you drunk?â Yeri screeches, trying her best to lift up the gentle giant of a man whoâs made himself at home on the grass by the pool.
âDruuuunk onnnn youuuuu babyyyy!â Namjoon shouts with vigor. Namjoonâs candid behavior has you smirking to yourself, thinking how nice it is to see the kind, reserved intern let loose and enjoy himself a little. Yeri seems to be enjoying it too, a faint blush coloring her cheeks despite the grimace on her face.
âA toast,â Seokjin, the broad shouldered senior intern exclaims, âto another year gone by!â
âHappy New Year!!â The chorus is loud and raucous.
Glasses are raised and hors d'oeuvres consumed, the golden lights twinkling in the night.
âSeokjin, another drink?â Yeri reaches out, offering up a beer in her hand.
âNahhh, Iâm okay,â he counters. âBesides, gotta drive home with Yoongi at the end of the night, you know how it is.
âCome to think of it,â you ponder. âI havenât even seen him, where is Yoongi?â
You hoist yourself up onto the railing, dizzy from the effects of the alcohol reaching your head.
You feel the wet, slippery dew drops against your fingers and suddenly, nothing.
Slipping through space, the air whooshes around you as you fall, staring up at the sparkling lights one final time before you hear a loud thump and everything fades to black.
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âPatient is in acute respiratory distress â- Iâm having trouble finding a pulse --- might need intubation,â the static crackles through the radio.
Yoongi was slumped against the hallway, eyes closed. Lost in a dream world of allegros and sonatas, heâs jolted awake by the jarring dissonance of a wrong note. Blearily, he rubs his eyes, but the note remains prolonged, piercing his eardrums.
Itâs a siren. His pupils dilate as the bright red lights hit them. Somethingâs wrong.
Yoongi doesnât know when he started running, or how, just that heâs skirting on deathâs edge, skipping stairs two at a time, making his way down the emergency staircase to the ground floor exit.
Heâs greeted with the sight of Manager Im, face blanched and brows furrowed, speaking to a police officer.
âHer name is ___. She fell from the third floor swimming pool, but normally no one goes there.â
The officer nods along, jotting Imâs statement down on a notepad, and itâs then that Yoongi turns and sees the blood.
A pool of it, and you, in the middle. Before he can even think, EMTs are strapping you in and lifting you onto a stretcher.
âCurrent status, 23 y/o F patient who will need mechanical ventilation, sedated, no movement. Pulse 110â, the voice blares through the megaphone.
All Yoongi can do is tremble, Seokjin coming to wrap an arm around him. He watches the ambulance as it drives away, wondering where and when everything decided to go so wrong.
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January 2nd
The fragrant perfume of gochujang and crackling of oil permeates the air as Yoongi pulls up to the tteokbokki stall, shaking out his windswept helmet hair from the frantic drive over.
Seokjin gives him a pitiful glance, Yeri and Namjoon both avoiding eye contact.
Yoongi decides to speak up first. âDude, you could have told me what happened that night.
âYoongi, I called you. I must have left at least 15 messages.â
âListen up, interns,â Im sneers. âYou will not breathe a word of this to anyone, okay? Not until the police report is complete. Do I make myself clear?â
âYes Manager,â Yeri and Namjoon answer monotonously, Seokjin nodding along.
âMin,â Im says, âhereâs an extra entry pass. Go and see her, and report straight back to me afterwards.â
Yoongi gapes at the keycard Im hands him, unsure of how to breathe.
âYoongi,â Yeri breathes out, struggling to hold back tears. âGo and see her. 3rd floor, neuro ICU, bed 28.â
Yoongi steps backwards. One step. Another. He feels as though heâs dragging his feet through a pool of quicksand. If he doesnât get on the bike, he wouldnât be able to go to the hospital. He wouldnât be able to see ___, broken and bruised. He would be able to pretend that nothing had happened, that everything was normal, that youâd pop up out of nowhere and say âHi Yoongi!â with that wide smile of yours.
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âDr. Sungchul Kim, please report to the cardiology department.â
The loudspeakers are garish and blaring, befitting of a circus rather than the serious, sterile institution Yoongi finds himself in.
Yoongi thought the behind the scenes of the hotel was the most depressing thing ever, but he was wrong. The white walls and the smell of antiseptic taunt him, reminding him of the way these walls act as a prison for lives barely hanging on. Lives like ___âs.
As he approaches the ward, he can make out a haggard looking woman with kind eyes, conversing with a police officer towering over her.
â___ was a good girl. She would never drink alcohol so recklessly, and all her friends at the hotel were such good influences. I know my daughter. She didnât just fall, someone pushed her.â
âMaâam,â the police officer starts, âI understand your concern, but we have to consider all possible options here.â
The officerâs conversation with your mother drifts away as Yoongi finds himself at the entrance of the neuro ICU. The guard gestures for him to remove his shoes and sanitize his hands.
Then, Yoongi is ushered into room #28 with a gust of cold air following behind him. He wonders if you were cold when you fell. He hopes not.
He tiptoes through the room, silent, as if one wrong footfall could wake any of the patients in here. People who sleep but donât dream, donât know when or if theyâll wake up.
At the end, towards the window, he stops and sees you. Small and frail-looking, bright spots of red and purple littering your entire face. Theyâve cut off your hair, he muses. He remembers how you always used to wear it in a tight, neat bun, and how keeping it off your face highlighted your eyes.
And the tubes. Thereâs so many. Yoongi counts 19 in total, all hooked up to different machines and making their way into your body. He wonders what theyâre all for, how they manage to keep you alive when you look anything but.
The nurse comes by to change your IV, and Yoongi feels sick. Heâs an intruder, and he doesnât belong here. Doesnât deserve to be here. He turns on his heels and walks out of the ward, the monotonous beeping never leaving his head the whole time.
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January 16th
Itâs hot and muggy in the apartment, the pressure cooker letting out the last bits of steam as Seokjin scoops out an even portion of rice, placing a perfectly shaped dome on Yoongiâs plate.
Silence was never an issue between the two of them, but now, it feels overwhelming. Like both of them have forgotten how to speak, forgotten how to live.
The days since the accident have all passed like this, in still and stagnancy.
âI still canât get over how swollen her face was, and did you see all those tubes?â Yoongiâs voice is gruff, hoarse from days of no use, from keeping his head down and changing sheets and mopping floors.
Seokjin stares at him questioningly, wondering why Yoongi chose to broach this topic of conversation when they havenât spoken in a week.
âI felt like I had the wind knocked out of me just standing there,â Yoongi drawls on.
âIs that why you never went back? Iâve been there twice already, you know. Namjoon has gone at least three times, and Yeri goes as soon as she gets off work every day.â
âI-, itâs not that, itâs the machines. They make it hard to concentrate,â Yoongi counters, feeling ashamed that while he was lost in a haze, his fellow interns were using their free time to visit the hospital.
âShe asked about you, you know? Right before she fell. She asked, âWhere is Yoongi?ââ
The same feeling of sickness from the ICU washes over Yoongi again, his breath heaving and palms becoming clammy. He wishes he could admit himself into the hospital too, maybe then he wouldnât feel so guilty.
âBro, somethingâs wrong with the food, it doesnât taste right todayâ Yoongi starts, hauling himself up off the ground. âIâm gonna go to the tteokbokki stand and eat. You want anything?â
Seokjin looks up at him, cheeks full of food. âIt tastes fine to me.â
âAlright then, see ya later man.â The door closes on a concerned looking Seokjin, as Yoongi makes his way out to the parking spot.
The cool air on his face has Yoongi feeling lighter, breathing easier, and he feels brave enough to detour from the tteokbokki stand and follow the green and white exit sign to Seoul National University Hospital.
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Inside, the ward air suffocates Yoongi once more, as he makes his way to room 28.
He sees your mother again, and another smaller version of you, trapped in yet another conversation, this time with the doctor. A sister maybe? He always thought you were an only child. Yoongi surprises himself constantly with how much he never knew about you, how much he couldâve found out if only he took a chance.
Passing by, neither of them fail to acknowledge the blonde haired boy making his way into ___âs room. Glancing again towards the end of the bed, he sees the same nurse from last time, clipboard in hand, recording your vital signs.
She takes notice of him lingering behind her. âAre you family?â
Yoongi shakes his head no.
âHer boyfriend then?â Another shake of his head.
âThe other boy that was here, is he her boyfriend?â Yoongiâs throat tightens, but he somehow manages to croak out a no.
âSir, if you donât have a reason to be here, Iâm going to have to ask you to leave. I hope you understand, these are the rules.â
She beckons Yoongi out of the room. He turns and gives ___ one final wave, passing the two women on his way out, before being cast out into the frigid chill of the winter air once more.
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February
âOff again, Yoongi?!â Namjoon calls out, as the door shuts in front of him, and he and Seokjin hear the kickstart of the motorbike once more.
Yoongiâs been disappearing multiple times a week, firing up his bike and blazing through gas money. Somehow he always ends up at the hospital. Sometimes, heâs brave enough to go in and spend a minute, or five, or ten by your side. Sometimes he just lingers outside the ward, especially when he sees the nurse go on. Most of the time, he just sits outside on the bench, listening to conversations between the doctors and staff that work there. Yoongi would consider himself halfway to an MD based on the things heâs overheard sometimes.
Today, though, heâs possessed by the unknown urge to see you again. To check up on you. Maybe itâs based on the conversation he overheard last week between your mother and the doctor. About how youâre in a deep coma, and neither awake or alert. About how your case might be hopeless. He hears your sister cry, your brother (who heâd seen recently) with the doe eyes suck in a gasp, and your mother plead to give them some more time.
He wants to tell you that timeâs running out, that you need to wake up soon or everything will be over. And yet, he wants someone to be gentle with you. To tell you that despite how hard it is, you can take all the damn time in the world. Just as long as you keep trying, keep fighting.
âExcuse me sir? This is a day pass.â The guard outside the hospital stops Yoongi.
âShit, I-, I left my night pass at home. Can you just let me in please? I have to speak to someone, it wonât take long at all.â
âNo entry without a pass, sir. Rules are rules.â
âFuck, listen, I just need like five minutes please? Iâve been coming here everyday, they recognize me. I really need to speak to her.â
âNo entry without a pass,â the guard becomes aggressive, pushing Yoongi away. Yoongi struggles in his grip, cursing out the guard with every breath, but he finds himself back on the curb, head held in his hands.
âExcuse me? I couldnât help but overhear that youâre looking for a night pass. You can borrow mine.â
Yoongi stares up at the mellifluous voice, and does a double take. Kim Taehyung. The Kim Taehyung whose wedding heâd coordinated mere months ago. Before the fall.
âAre you sure you donât need it?â
âIâm Kim Taehyung, I can get another hospital pass any time I want. My wifeâs in the hospital for pregnancy complications. Sheâs staying for a few days, but I know sheâll be okay. That weâll be okay. You, on the other hand, donât seem so sure. Take it, please.â
âMr. Kim --- Taehyung --- sir, thank you. Thank you so much. I hope your wife is okay.â Yoongiâs gummy smile shows for the first time in a long time, as he snatches the pass and presents it to the guard standing there with an astounded look on his face.
Kim Taehyung watches the other man with a wistful smile. Give a life, save a life. He and his wife couldnât save their baby, but maybe for the man with the gummy smile and the sad eyes, there was hope yet.
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âHey. Hey ___. Wake up.â Yoongi whispers, flailing his arms around, trying to catch your attention.
He yearns to reach out and stroke the short spikes of hair that now adorn your head, hoping that a tender touch would jolt you to life.
â___, wake up please. I have something important to tell you.â
Yoongi feels the tears building up in his eyes, and he wants to fall to the floor from exhaustion. Working shifts at the hotel, then coming here and spending time with you. He wants everything to go back to the way it was before.
âYou wanted to know where I was that day? The day you fell? Actually I wasâŠ. I wasnât around. I wasnât there.â
Yoongi chokes the words out, reaching behind his head to ruffle his hair and relieve the nervous itch that has built up in his bones.
That night, Yoongi sleeps on a bench outside, the bitter tang of tears and unspoken apologies clogging his throat.
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March
For the first time in months, Yoongi wakes up and heads to work on time. The hospital was important, but today, the hotel housed something even more important. ___âs car.
The abandoned red station wagon is parked in the same spot outside the hotel, collecting dust that flies away with each gust of the spring breeze.
âWhat do you need this time?â Yeriâs voice is clipped and harsh as she approaches Yoongi by the parking lot.
âDid uh, ___ ever talk about me? Like in college?â
âAre you kidding me Yoongi? Thatâs what you called me over to talk about?â
âYeri, please! I need to know.â
âNo, Yoongi! No! We had better things to talk about than your lazy ass! Why would she have cared?!â
âBut she did Yeri! Why would she have asked about me before she fell? And none of you thought to tell me either! Peopleâs last words are special, theyâre not just something you can ignore!â, Yoongi is roaring, rage boiling in his veins.
âLook Yoongi, I really donât think she was interested in you. You guys were too different. Now, if thatâs all, both you and I should get back to work,â Yeri says icily.
âFuck that, Iâm out of here. See you around, Yeri.â
. . .
âHey!â Yoongi gestures to the valet, pointing at the station wagon. âDo you have the keys for this?â
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Your mother is a professor, Yoongi muses. Another thing I didnât know about her, he ponders to himself as he pulls the now shiny and sparkling station wagon into the driveway of your family home. Your mother steps out onto the porch, wide-eyed and shocked at seeing the familiar vehicle being driven by such an unfamiliar person.
âYouâre the one from the hospital. How did you get our address?â her tone is laced with shock and surprise.
âMy nameâs Yoongi, I was one of ___âs fellow interns. I got your address from Yeri. Iâm sorry for not letting you know in advance that I was coming, but I thought it was time to return the car to where it belonged.â
Tears fill the old womanâs eyes as she breathes a sigh of relief.
âThank you,â she whispers. âWould you like to come in for some tea?â
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Everywhere Yoongi looks, baby pictures of you adorn the walls. Youâre alone in some of them. In others, youâre accompanied by a mini you and a doe eyed boy. The common theme among all of them is that your smile is bright, eyes wide and filled with kindness. Youâre happy. Heâd never seen you any other way until the fall.
âYoongi,â your mother calls out. âPlease come and sit.â
She clears her throat, starting again. âBetween here and the hospital, things have been so hectic, we forgot all about the car. Thank you for bringing it back for us.â
âYou know,â Yoongi speaks, startling everyone at the table. âWhen I was a small child, I fractured my left arm. It should have healed in three weeks but it didnât. I thought Iâd never be able to play piano again. But eventually it healed. In the same way, ___ should have been okay by now, and sheâs not. But she will be. She just needs a little more time.â
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April
The underside of ___âs bed has become a familiar place to Yoongi. Every day, he checks the bag filled with yellow fluid underneath, using it as his one sign that ___ is still alive.
âNurse, isnât her urine output a little more than usual today? What could that mean?â
Nurse, unfortunately, has never warmed up to Yoongi in the few months theyâve known each other.
âDonât you have anything better to do?â
Yoongi flashes his teeth and lets out a gummy smile. âYouâre right, I actually do have something I need to do. Bye, ___. See you soon.â
The little girl is anticipating Yoongiâs arrival in the waiting room. He plops down on the seat next to her, and pulls out a book from his bag.
âHow much longer until your mom has the baby?â, he asks.
âI donât know,â she whines. âYou should ask the baby.â
âYouâre right,â he chuckles, flipping open the pages of the book. âNow where did we last leave off? I think our hero was about to fight the mighty dragonâŠâ
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The bland mush of the hospital cafĂ©âs offerings leaves a strange taste at the back of Yoongiâs throat. Huddled around a table all together, ___âs uncle is the first to speak.
âIâve seen cases like this before. I think we should pull the plug. If she has to live like this, like a vegetable, whatâs the point of torturing her? She wonât even recognize us anymore, is that what you really want?â
âPlease Won-jae, donât start again with the negativity,â your mother looks this close to losing it, hair frazzled and clothes rumpled.
Yoongi clears his throat, startling the table guests once again. He notices they all seem intimidated by him, as if heâs a stranger that makes them uncomfortable, scared to admit their hopelessness.
âJust because she canât recognize you, that doesnât mean you canât recognize her. Sheâs still the same ___.â
âI think heâs right,â the shy boy with the doe eyes speaks up. Yoongi had recently learned your younger brotherâs name. Jungkook. The younger boy had looked at Yoongi with stars in his eyes, asking him for help with his homework and talking to him at any chance he could get. Yoongi would spend every second of the day with Jungkook and your younger sister Sooyoung if it meant the sadness in their eyes would disappear little by little.
âAnyway,â Yoongi says. âI have to get going. Iâll make sure to stop by the pharmacy and get ___âs medications before I leave. Is there anything else you need me to do?â
âNo, Yoongi.â Your mother offers him a faint smile, tenderness in her gaze. âYouâve done more than enough.â
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May
âYouâve been spending a lot of time at the hospital these days,â Seokjin says the moment Yoongi walks in the door. âI was beginning to think Iâd never seen you at home again either. Not like I see you at work these days anyway.â
Yoongi ignores him, leafing through the fridge for anything to eat. He finds nothing. Disappointed, he slams the door shut, Seokjinâs broad frame cornering him against the fridge.
âOnly like the taste of hospital food now?â
âWhat the fuck is your problem, Seokjin? If you have something to say, just spit it out.â
âFine. I will. Iâve covered 6 of your shifts over the past month. Yeri has covered 4, and Namjoon has covered 3. I canât afford the apartment anymore because Iâm the only one bringing money in since you never come to work, and Iâm this close to asking Namjoon to move in with me.â
âYour point is?â
âYou know what it is Yoongi! Why are you doing this? What was she to you anyway, itâs not like she was your best friend. The doctors said it themselves, her chances of survival are low.â
âSeokjin, youâre telling me you only do something when thereâs a 100% chance itâll work out? If thereâs a chance, even a small chance that sheâll make it, I have to help.â
âYoongi, you have to start living in the real world again. What youâre doing isnât practical. Youâre not helping anyone - not me, not you, and not her.â
âDonât you dare say that, Seokjin. Donât you dare,â Yoongi wants to continue on, but is interrupted by the blaring of his ringtone. ___âs mother. Seokjin looks at the phone, daring him to pick it up, to confirm his suspicions that Yoongi is no longer capable of rational thought when it comes to you.
Accept call. With no hesitation, Yoongi leaves his best friend and roommate behind, revving up his motorbike and disappearing into the night once more.
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â___ has had a massive stroke. While her brain activity spiked, she wasnât able to regain control of her movements. Itâs likely sheâll be paralyzed for life.â
The doctors deliver the crushing blow to the family huddled in the stairwell, Yoongi standing in the corner beside them.
âYou heard what the doctor said, and yet you still foolishly cling onto hope. Why canât you all just be practical for once? What kind of a person would want to live like this?â Won-jaeâs biting words cut through the air, and Yoongi can see their devastating effects, watching the hope slowly drain from your familyâs eyes.
There were many socially unacceptable things Yoongi would like to say to your uncle right now, but for the sake of avoiding chaos, he decides to be gentle instead.
âMaybe she wants to live like this. Maybe she wants to live, period. Maybe she doesnât. In any case, who are we to decide that for ___?â
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âYour uncle has the patience of a wild boar,â Yoongi says to you. He hopes youâre listening, that you can hear his rant. Itâs not like Seokjin wants to speak to him anymore, so he only has you to let it out to.
âSo what if you need the machines for a little longer? There are times when my motorbike doesnât start either. So then, I just give it a good kick and it starts. The machines will do the same for you, so just bear with it ___. Okay? Just bear with it for me. For us.â
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June
The chill air of the morning greets Yoongi the moment he steps out onto his balcony, craving the iced Americano he always used to get from the hotel kitchen. The hospital coffee is absolute shit, he decides. And it wasnât like he had money to afford fancy coffee from any of the cafĂ©s surrounding it. Seokjin had stopped loaning him money long ago, instead preferring to sulk with Namjoon and Yeri any chance he got.
A strange sight greets him across the parking lot. His bike, perched against a blooming tree, covered in a fresh blanket of mugunghwa flowers. He hadnât even noticed the seasons changing, the sterile white walls of the hospital obscuring every ray of light that dared filter in through the windows.
An idea crosses Yoongiâs mind. He chucks on his sandals and makes his way to the carpark. Kneeling by his bike, he painstakingly picks up every single blossom, the light floral scent permeating his senses.
Not less than fifteen minutes later, heâs dumping the blooms out onto your hospital bed, dozing off in the chair next to your bed as he prepares for the long day ahead.
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He wakes to the appalled gasps and shrieks of the nurses, rubbing his eyes and balking at the sight before him. Your nostrils. Theyâre moving. Youâre breathing on your own.
Dr. Sungyuk Park is by your bedside, the most renowned neurosurgeon in all of South Korea. The man who knows everything seems lost for words, and behind him, he sees Sooyoung and Jungkook hugging your mother tightly, tears in their eyes.
âComa patients can often respond to strong external stimuli, like the smell of these flowers. In this case, itâs a very positive sign that weâre on the right track,â Dr. Park explains, and Yoongi feels the burden upon his shoulders lift with each word.
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July
â____, today at 5am, you opened your eyes. Youâre doing very good, I want you to try to do a little bit more? Can you do that for me?â Dr. Parkâs voice echoes across the ward.
Yoongi canât believe it. A month ago, he brought the mugunghwa flowers to you. In that time, youâve started slowly waking, coming back to life before him and your familyâs eyes.
He rests a hand on your motherâs shoulders, fearing that the poor woman may fall over from sheer joy.
âI want you to look to your left for me,â Dr. Park continues, your orbs bloodshot but still beautiful to Yoongiâs own eyes following his finger slowly and precisely.
âAaaand to your right please,â you follow seamlessly, the opening of your eyes mark the beginning of a new chapter in your story.
As Dr. Park steps out, your mother rushes to your bedside, gently reaching out to stroke the long bangs that now fall over your face.
âUnnie,â Sooyoung cries. âYour hair is so pretty now Unnie. Now please get better, Unnie. Get better so that we can all go home soon.â
âItâs been too long,â your mother sobs, collapsing against Jungkook. âItâs been too long without you, my daughter. Please come back. Come back soon.â
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Sweat drips down Yoongiâs back, restaurant duty causing him to hover between the dining room and the kitchen behind it, cleaning up scraps, carrying plates, and bussing tables. Manager Im has him working double duty on probation, threatening that if he doesnât show up for his shifts, his degree will be terminated and heâll never graduate from the management program.
Normally, Yoongi wouldnât have minded the hours. In fact, the old Yoongi would have taken this chance at redemption in stride. The new Yoongi, however, is filled with butterflies. He longs to see you every day, to see your pretty eyes looking up at him, to ask you how your day went.
The other day, Sooyoung ran up to him and hugged him tightly, saying that after just two weeks, youâd moved from being able to open your eyes to croaking out words.
Eomma had been your first. Garbled in tone, but the meaning crystal clear. Sooyoung had been with you all week, trying to teach you the syllables.
âSOO-YUNG,â she lisped out, the air escaping between her two buck teeth. âSoon youâll learn my name too, Unnie!â
Yoongiâs thoughts are interrupted by a plate being shoved towards him.
âExcuse me, waiter boy? Are you even paying attention? I told you to take this food back.â
âWhy,â Yoongi seethes. âThereâs nothing wrong with it.â
âDonât talk to me in that tone! This food already tastes like shit and weâre paying for it, bring us something else on the house.â
Yoongi takes a deep breath, putting on his customer service voice. âIâm sorry the meal wasnât to your satisfaction. Unfortunately, I canât refund the order completely. Iâm sure we can bring you another replacement thatâll be more to your liking.â
The man sneers, disdain evident in their expression. âListen to me you fucking nobody, your job is to make people like me happy. You donât have a life. I control your paycheck, and therefore I control your life. So, itâll do you good to just shut up and do what I say.â
White hot rage blinds Yoongiâs vision, and before he knows it, the plate is clattering to the ground and his fist is flying into the assholeâs face. A scuffle starts, people jumping in from left and right to prevent the two of them from hurting each other.
Yoongi feels a pair of arms drag him away from the man, Seokjin holding him steady.
âYoongi man, stop, just stop. Leave it alone, leave it!â Seokjin implores him to calm down.
Yoongi yanks himself out of Seokjinâs grasp, untying his apron with a groan and throwing it onto the luxurious hotel carpet. He can feel Imâs seething stare from behind his eyelids, but he no longer cares about Im, or the hotel, or this job. All he wants is you.
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As dawn approaches, Yoongi once again finds himself by your bedside. Except, this time, heâs not alone. Dr. Park is there, checking your vitals and jotting notes down on a clipboard.
âDr. Park, does this mean sheâs fully conscious now?â Yoongi gazes expectantly upon the old man, willing him to inject some much needed hope into his day.
âThalamus⊠cortex⊠medulla oblongata⊠dorsal plexus of the spine. These medical terms have one spiritual connotation⊠the soul. And the soul never goes into a coma. Have patience, sheâs trying.â
And with that, he makes his final notes and leaves the room.
Yoongi takes this moment alone to stare into your eyes. Heâs never properly looked into them, he realizes. Even when youâd always greet him daily, he always looked past you. Never at you. He takes all the time he has left.
â____. Hey ____. Listen to me, can you say Yoongi? YOON-GI. Itâs simple, just try it.â
You look up at him with a blank stare. No response. Yoongi panics, his chest becoming heavy. For a moment, he entertains the terrible thought that youâll never recognize him again, that maybe he doesnât mean anything to you, even though youâve come to mean everything to him.
â___, please. Please say something, do something. Itâs me. Yoongi. You asked about me before. Please, please. Look to your left if you recognize me.â
When he sees your eyes shift to the left, Yoongi almost sobs with relief. He wants to collapse and hug you for making his insignificant existence feel worth something again. But he doesnât want to scare you. Instead, he lifts himself up gently and waves goodbye, pinning something on the wall before slipping out of the ward before the first rays of morning light filter into the room.
When he doesnât come back to your bedside that day, your family is left speechless. Gone, nearly without a trace. The only proof heâd existed at all was the small passport photo heâd clipped to the railing of your bed, the black ink of the Hangul lettering spelling out a single word. Yoongi.
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August
The new hotel brings a strange feeling with it. Yoongiâs not used to the crisp air of the mountains, growing up among the fog and fumes of Seoul. Heâs not used to having a fresh start, to being unburdened by the weight of othersâ expectations. He doesnât know how to feel, so he settles for just living for now, spending every day training staff and overseeing operations.
When the Signiel offered him a new placement, Yoongi was reluctant to leave you behind. Heâd paced for days on end, chewing his fingernails raw, wondering how to break the news. Your mother beat him to that.
âYoongi, youâve done more for us than you could imagine. Please, itâs time for you to go on and live your life. Youâre still so young. Weâll manage.â
And so, Yoongi headed towards the hills. The cozy chalet he worked at was full of nothing but friendly and forgiving people. He struck up a friendship with the assistant manager, Hoseok, and the two of them would often roam the grove of Japanese Maple trees adjacent to the hotel, wandering and rambling on for hours and hours. Hoseok reminded him of Seokjin, and of Yeri and Namjoon, people he should have held close to his heart, but instead, he let go.
He wondered how you were constantly. Amongst preparing the drinks, dusting the decor, and planning excursions. His thoughts never strayed from you. Were you still in the hospital? Were you home? Was someone taking care of you?
Heâd given the nurse strict instructions before he left, telling her every little detail he noticed you liked or responded to. The nurse waved him off with a smile, saying he was a fool in love. And thatâs what solidified Yoongiâs decision to run.
Love. The feelings he developed for you were dangerous. Love made people selfish, it made people succumb to their deepest desires without a second thought for others. Yoongi decided that wasnât fair to you. You deserved to live out a full and happy life. You deserved to live unburdened by his feelings, feelings that were out of his control, but could have sent you reeling off the rails were you ever to find out. Yoongi never wanted that for you, and maybe heâd never find out the reason you asked for him the day you fell, but heâd made his peace with it. The mountain air had done him some good.
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Peace, however, is a fickle thing. Yoongiâs startled awake in the middle of night by the blaring of his phone, your motherâs contact name lighting up the screen.
He scrambles to answer the phone, breathing heavily as he rasps out, âHello? Ahjoomah, is everything okay? Is ___ okay?â
âYoongi,â your mother sobs out. âThe last few days have been so difficult. First ___ stopped responding, then she had another seizure. We had to take her back to the ICU, and the doctor told us sheâs at a severe risk of cardiac problems. Once the seizure subsided, she started to become violent towards others and herself. Theyâve had to restrain her.â
âAhjoomah, I-, let me help you, please.â Yoongi pleads, tears pricking his eyes. âWhat do you need from me?â
âYoongi, I just wanted to let you know since youâve become so close. Donât worry about us, this is now part of our lives. You focus on your work, okay?â her voice cracks on the last syllable, and the line cuts dead.
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September
â___, can you please lift your leg for us again. Please try one more time,â the physiotherapist asks, struggling against your lashing figure.
Yoongi looks at the scene with grief, chastising himself for leaving. After the phone call, heâd packed his bags and caught the first train to Seoul, leaving an apology note for Hoseok. Come the morning, heâd woken up in the hospital waiting room to your motherâs shocked face, catching the faint hint of disappointment emanating from her.
âDoctor?â Yoongi says. âIs it okay if I just take her out into the hallway for a bit?â
He nods a reluctant yes, and Yoongi wheels your chair out into the sunny yet secluded alcove at the end of the hallway.
He leans against the wall, looking at your face thatâs lolled to the side, turned away from him.
âI know youâre mad at me. Iâm sorry. Iâll never leave you again I promise. Now, donât you want to get better?â
As Yoongi falls asleep that night, his phone buzzes with a text from Seokjin.
Youâre back, and you didnât think to tell me? The keys are in the flower pot outside the door. Thereâs food in the fridge. I made samgyeopsal, your favorite. Oh, and Yoongi? When you come back in, please take a shower. You probably smell like sterile piss.
He lets out a loud laugh and looks up at you, suddenly stopping in his tracks when he sees the ghost of a smile flicker across your face.
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Bringing his foot down onto the plywood, Yoongi jumps on the makeshift ramp heâd built to commemorate your homecoming, testing it out for signs of weakness. Driving to your house each morning, checking out the ramp, lifting you in and out of bed, making sure there was fresh air circulating in your room⊠it had all become part of his daily routine.
His mornings, afternoons, and evenings were filled with you. Heâd cook breakfast for Sooyoung and Jungkook in the kitchen. Heâd strap you into the wheelchair and take you out for a spin every afternoon. In the evenings, heâd sit at the dining table with you and your mother, her professor side out in full force as she taught you how to write shaky letters once more.
Today, on his daily stroll with you, heâd stopped in the park for a moment. The weather was chilly yet enjoyable, but he still made sure you were bundled up in a coat and scarf.
Yoongi lets out a groan and plops down on a bench, right beside your chair. The falling leaves have him reminiscing on his life a year ago, and how different everything was back then. How you two were two ships in the night, navigating the same murky waters yet never crossing paths. And now youâd become his anchor, and he was your lighthouse, guiding you to safety and security every hour of the day.
âDo you ever want to go far, far away?â Yoongi blurts out, unable to contain his thoughts. âWhere would you go? You never imagined youâd go into a coma, right? None of us did.â
The last words are a whisper, Yoongi being careful not to dwell on the past. All that matters is the road to recovery.
âCan I ask you one final thing? That night, when you fell, why did you ask for me? Why did you ask for Yoongi?â The door was closing on this chapter for the both of them, but Yoongi would always wonder about the what ifs. What if he had been there that night, what if she had never gone into a coma, what if life for the both of them hadnât morphed before their very eyes?
A strangled noise interrupts Yoongiâs thoughts once more. He glances over to you, and is shocked to find your lips moving.
âYoon-gi,â you croak. âYun-gi.â
Recognition fills your eyes, and Yoongi is incapable of doing nothing but hiding his head in his hands, not wanting you to see the tears of joy that fall and mix with the dew drops on the vibrant green grass.
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October
The call came in the middle of the night, annihilating Yoongi with the weight of its impact, and for once, heâs the weak one. Sobbing helplessly into his sheets as Seokjin throws his arms around his roommate and holds him through the night.
____ had another seizure last night. Her lungs collapsed. She passed away at 2:27am.
The words echo in Yoongiâs brain as he makes his way to your front door, pushing past the crowd of mourners as numbness encapsulates his entire being.
He passes your uncle, hunched over in the recliner, weeping into his hands. He passes your mother, holding on tight to Sooyoung and Jungkook, almost as if they too will slip out of her grasp at any moment.
He gazes into your room, surprised to still see you lying among the pillows. You look so peaceful, almost as if youâre asleep. Itâs the most heâs seen you look like your old self in a long time and Yoongi feels nothing but pain as tears burn in his eyes. Pain that you were awarded a brief moment of peace, of normalcy, before it was all snatched away so soon. Pain that youâd never live out the life you deserved to have, to achieve the happiness that you were meant to achieve. And heâd never be there to see it too.
He stays the night, and the night after that, and the next two nights, helping with the signing of documents and ushering the guests out, one by one, until itâs just your mother and siblings with him at the table.
âWeâre moving to Daegu in two weeks,â your mother gasps. âFor a fresh start.â
Yoongi knows that their paths diverge here, that in two weeks, all traces of you, and Sooyoung with her buck teeth, Jungkook with his doe eyes, and your motherâs loving smile will be erased from his life. He keeps quiet, afraid to say anything. Afraid to tell them that he doesnât want them to go, that his soul that had finally found an anchor would be cast out into the depths once more.
âYou know Yoongi,â your mother chokes out a sob. â___ loved mugunghwa flowers. They were her favorite. Every year, sheâd eagerly wait for October when all the flowers fell from the trees and sheâd collect them on a sheet with her father and count them one by one. Mugunghwa are known for their extreme resilience, weathering the worst of conditions to produce something beautiful. Theyâll always be known as the âeternal blossomâ, and I couldnât think of a better way to describe our ___.â
The magic of the mugunghwa isnât lost on Yoongi. He watches as your mother gestures out to a potted shrub in the yard. â____ had a plant of her own. Every day, she would come home and smile at it, water it, and tend to it. Sheâd pick the flowers when they fell and put them as a centerpiece on our table. I donâtâŠ. I canât just leave it here to die.â
âIâll take it,â Yoongi says. âIâll take care of it, donât worry. Itâll be safe with me.â
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November
The heat of the spotlight burns the hairs on the back of Yoongiâs neck. Heâs going to suffocate in this damn suit. Heâll have to talk to Seokjin to see if Yeri would be able to find him a replacement.
With a flourish of the keys, he ends the song and clears his throat into the microphone.
âThatâs all for tonight, folks. My name is Min Yoongi, grand pianist at the Signiel Hotel, and the piece you just heard was called October. Thank you for listening.â
A/N pt 2: I didnât want to put this in the summary, but this piece is dedicated to a classmate of mine that passed away suddenly this semester. Iâve been wrestling with a lot of grief surrounding their passing, wondering if I couldâve done or said something to make things turn out differently. Like Dr. Park says, the soul can never be put into a coma, and I hope that wherever they are, their soul is resting easy and at peace. As always, any feedback or comments are much appreciated, but I appreciate you all anyway. Lots of love, Isi đ
hi!! i was wondering if you have fic recommendations where reader and bts (any member) are enemies that always banter but then one of them goes tOO FAR and hurts the other's feelings. then whoever gets hurt starts to ignore them and the other getS all hurt and realizes they have feelings... it's oddly specific but i live for these fics đ thank you!! đ„ș
Anonymous said to hellreads:Â hiii can you please recommend me some tokyo ghoul jungkook au????đ„șđ
Anonymous said to hellreads:Â Hello!! Do you know any angst ffs where a bts member breaks up with y/n for another girl? Iâve been wanting to read something angsty for a while but canât find any... please help. Any member is fine.
Ask #1: I donât think Iâve read anything like that, so I canât recommend any story for you, sorry.
Ask #2: Iâve seen a few around here but since I havenât read them I donât have anything for you, sorry.
Ask #3: My memory is shitty rn and Iâm trying to recall whether or not Iâve read anything where a member breaks up with y/n but I really canât remember any, the closest fic that comes to mind tho is My Cheating Amnesic Fiance by wrienne on ao3 but JK and Reader arenât really lovers from the start, it was an arranged marriage au and JK decided to get a gf and things got complicated.
anyways, if any of you reading this have recommendations for our dear anons please send them over, letâs help each other find good reads! |Â đ
+ recs under the cut.
U P D A T E
Ask #1:
Ask #2:
Ask #3: A lot of these recommendations have themes of cheating or is a cheating fic through and through. (Iâm still thinking of my own reads and most of them are reader leaving member or arranged marriages where member is in love with someone else)
â„ Come Home to Me Darling by @roses-ruby ⎠Married/Cheating!AU | Jimin x Reader | Two-Shot âŽÂ Jimin cheats and you try to make him stay. But whatever you do, itâs never enough.
℠Sandcastles by @solastia ⎠Open Relationship!AU | Namjoon x Reader | Series ⎠//
â„ Canât Keep Lying by @1rosex ⎠Seokjin x Reader | Series âŽÂ Jinâs been distant lately. Maybe itâs the work flow, maybe itâs something you said. Or maybe, maybe itâs just the girl at work.
â„ Cheater by @personasintro ⎠Cheating!AU | Taehyung x Reader | Oneshot âŽÂ Ten proofs you got to find out the truth but you were too blind in love to see
â„ Insecurity by @jiminelli ⎠Lovers!AU | Jungkook x Reader | Series ⎠Scenario: I wanted a jk scenario where he is on we got married or something similar to the show where his ideal girl is paired with him so his gf whoâs not necessarily his type Start to wonder if he will lose feelings for her so she and him end up getting in a fight that pretty bad );
Will you do the Phases of Kim Taehyung đ the other ones were so good!
This one was HARD! There were too many to choose from đđđ„ș I might have to make another one as well...
Fledgling
Hard Candy
Saucy lilâ Pumpkin
Certified Tongue Gymnast
V is for Vampire
Fatality
Post-Apocalyptic Warrior Thot
Disco Daddy Warbucks
Bob Ross
PonyTae
Kim Seokjin
Min Yoongi
Jung Hoseok
Kim Namjoon
Park Jimin
Kim Taehyung
Jeon Jeongguk
I just remembered your TF drabble about yn loving Jk's bun. Now that he has short hair again I imagine her being incredible sad and pouting all day, running her hand through his hair while sighing loudly đ€
pairing: jeon jeongguk x reader
genre: fluff, established relationship, slice of life, non-idol au
word count: 800+
a/n: I LOVE CONCEPTS LIKE THIS! so obviously i couldnât stop myself from writing it, tysm for letting me bring this couple back :(
Having you sigh while cuddling in bed and watching a movie was nothing new to Jeongguk, he had grown used to it after years of being with you. Whether it was because you were tired, relaxed, or just too invested in the movie and reacted to it without even noticing, your small sighs had become an indispensable part of your movie nights. So, he had mindlessly thought you were just doing it out of relaxation as you played with his hair that winter evening.
When you sighed for the tenth time only twenty minutes into Spiderman, however, he frowned, knowing right there that something about you was off.
Reluctantly letting go of his rather comfortable spot on your chest, he tilted his head so his chocolate eyes could focus on you â only then realising your eyes had not been fixed on the TV to begin with, but on his hair instead as you melancholically ran your fingers through it.
âWhatâs wrong?â he wondered, hand tenderly cupping your cheek so you would look at him.
A shrug of shoulders was your answer.
âPetalâŠâ he pushed it.
âI wonât ever see the bun againâ your bummed words caused his eyebrows to knit together out of confusion. âOr the ponytailâŠâ
Thatâs when it hit him. His hair. After nearly two years of keeping it at a quite long yet decent length, he had decided to cut it short. It had just started to become annoying to have to tie it either into a bun or a ponytail to keep it out of his eyes, and it was even more annoying when he would inevitably miss his hair bands on a weekly basis and had to turn to borrowing âmore like, stealing... with your implicit consentâ yours instead.
Cutting it had seemed the best way out. And, quite honestly, it wasnât that short to begin with. It was just shorter than the two of you had grown used to â messy hair no longer being a thing from now on. Therefore, to you, it was indeed short as hell.
âItâs just hair, petalâ he tried to cheer you up as he did his best not to show the amused smile that had started curving up his lips. âIt will be long again in a few monthsâ.
âBut I wanna play with it nowâ you pouted.
He chuckled. âIsnât that what youâre doing right now?â
Your fingers stopped their ministrations on his hair, withdrawing from his brown locks right away. âItâs not the sameâ.
âYah,â he called you out, grabbing your hand and placing it back on his hair for you to play with it. âYou even hyped me up when I said I wanted to cut it, canât back down nowâ.
âI know,â your pout grew more prominent. âBut I didnât know I would miss your long hair this muchâ.
Jeongguk bit his bottom lip, the movie long forgotten as his body now hovered over you and his mouth came dangerously close to yours. âCome on,â he mumbled on your pouty lips. âDonât I look good now?â
Although his tone had come off confident, you knew him well enough to know he was looking for validation.
You huffed, arms crossing over your chest and eyes travelling to the side of the room as you bitterly spoke. âYouâre the most gorgeous guy Iâve seen, of course you look handsome as hell no matter whatâ.
He laughed under his breath, catching you by surprise when his mouth happily pressed on yours.
You couldnât help but giggle, unfolding your arms and wrapping them around his neck instead so you could stop him from pulling away just yet â your fingers once again entangling in his brown locks like it had become a habit of yours by now.
âSee?â he smiled, faintly pulling away and opening his eyes so he could meet yours. âYou can still play with itâ.
âI guess youâre rightâ you admitted, staring at the way his hand gently grabbed a strand of your hair as his loving eyes remained fix on you. âBut I might as well shave my head now so you can feel my painâ.
Jeongguk threw his head back as a throaty laugh escaped his mouth, later resting his forehead on your shoulder as his previous laugh turned into a whine. âWhy did I fall for such a chaotic drama queenâ.
It was now your turn to laugh. âThatâs on you, Jeon Jeongguk. Canât back down nowâ.
âNever said I wanted toâ his immediate reply caused your heart to jump.
Acting on the way he made you feel, you pulled him into your chest, tightly wrapping your arms around his waist before you pressed a kiss to the crown of his head. âI might reconsider shaving my head if you promise I will get to see my bun in a bun again at some pointâ.
âI meant it when I said we have a lifetime to go together, petalâ his genuine words brought a soft smile to your lips. âYou will see me in a bun or ponytail so much you will get tired of itâ.
âDoubt itâ you stated, loving the sound of his breathy laugh as he tightened his hold around your body. âBut since a lifetime seems like a long time, I guess I can deal with whatever hairstyle you want to tryâ.
this is so cute i crie
Hug-o-gram | Yoongi
â summary:Â
âThis is probably the dumbest idea youâve ever had,â Yoongi hisses, but itâs kind of hard for Seokjin to take him seriously when heâs wearing a cardboard sign around his neck that says âHuggie Wuggie Machine!â in bubble font.Â
âLike, even worse than when we DIYâd your car into a convertible by sawing the top off?â Seokjin asks, genuinely curious.Â
âWorse,â Yoongi admits, trying his best to stay out of your line of sight. His cheeks redden, matching the gaudy pink kitten ears he was forced into wearing.
{or alternatively: Seokjin is a terrible wingman. He also runs a profitable business by sending hugs to peopleâs crushes for a fee. Mix them together and you have a recipe for Min Yoongiâs worst nightmare.}
â genre: college!au, hugging booth!au, fluff, humor â warnings: yoongi is so smitten that heâs a walking disaster, so much shy!yoongi to the point where youâll want to scream, seokjin just tryna get his homie some y/n love coochie bro ;o; â words: 13.3K â a/n: another commission by the lovely @jincherieâ because sheâs epic like that!! she literally just told me to write whatever the hell i wanted and well⊠yoobie got me Good⊠anyway hereâs more yoongi fluff bc apparently iâm a fluff writer now and sometimes i just want my boy to be happy⊠appa yip yip
Kim Seokjin makes a lot of good decisions. He also makes plenty of bad ones, but he likes to think the score is lying heavily towards the positives. Min Yoongi will be the first one to quickly disagree, but Seokjin doesnât let it get to him. He doesnât make it his business to listen to opinions that donât immediately align with his, anyway; he likes to call it âselective hearing.â Yoongi calls it stupidity. Either way, the point still stands: Seokjin knows a good idea when he sees one. Case in point:
âThis automatic popcorn machine is absolutely divine,â Seokjin moans, his mouth agape as he waits for the Mister Popcorn Robot to bestow him with another morsel of goodness.
Keep reading
Honestly the shaming of girls for having âboring missionary sexâ or whatever is so messy⊠girls are constantly pressured into doing things they donât want to by virtue of tastes shifting to more âkinkyâ due to a disgustingly pornified culture and thereâs nothing wrong at all with wanting sex with someone to be just about intimacy and closenessâŠ
my two reactions upon seeing this the first time
taehyungâs video message for park seojoonâs online fan meeting âĄ
donât mind me, just crying myself to sleep over how soft and fond honey boy is for his family
+bonus gummy smile:
â„đđ„đ€ đđđ đŁđđđ€â„
All of what I list below are mostly fics that I have read or heavily recommend! Of course, I canât list every fic I read because I read A LOT, haha but I will try my best to keep this updated âêą Â ÌŁÌźêąâÂ
Last Updated: 05/12/2020 (gosh I spent all of today going through my liked posts to get all the other fics Iâve read posted here, I didnât realize that I read so much yg/jk fics lmao)
âšIf you canât see the links, click on my fic recs link in my description it should work! Iâm not sure about desktop thoughđ
âȘ angst  | áŠÂ smut  | ⣠ fluff | â On Going | â Complete | â Favorite
đŠđŸđ đ©đ¶đđżđđđ:
â  Intro: Her [Series] ââȘâŁáŠâ
â Significance áŠ
â  Oh Baby [Series] áŠâ
â Tiger Boy áŠ
â Angel âŁáŠ
â Two Years âŁ
â Let Me Hold Them áŠ
â Teacherâs Pet áŠ
â CHARMOLYPI [Series] âŁâȘáŠâÂ
â  Hey Mama âŁ
â Plus Forte âŁáŠ
â Hermeneutics âŁâȘáŠ
â All Night âŁáŠ
â Begin Again âŁâȘ
â Attention áŠ
â Special Package áŠ
â Thou shall not harm âȘáŠ
â In Heat âȘáŠ
â Party áŠ
â Beauty & the bookworm âŁâȘáŠ
â 00-Beginning-Shift âȘáŠ
â Inked âȘ
â Just the Four of Us [Series] áŠâȘâ
â Rental âŁâȘáŠ
â  Wannabe âȘáŠ
â more recs coming soon
đŠđŸđ đźđđđđżđŸđ:
â Lacuna âȘâŁ
â Mine áŠÂ
â Donât Wanna Fall [Series] âŁâȘâ
â Pink áŠÂ
â The Devilâs Family âŁáŠ
â Off Limits [Series] áŠâ
â Ready áŠ
â Christmas Cookies áŠ
â Fall in Hatred âŁâȘ
â Black Forest âŁâȘ
â Fast Lane áŠ
â Business Affairs âŁâȘáŠÂ
â CHARMOLYPI [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Peach Parfait [Two Shot] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Bad Kitten áŠ
â Arrogant âŁâȘáŠ
â For Love & Money [Series] âŁâȘâ
â Seven Seconds in Heaven âŁâȘáŠ
â Lovesick âŁâȘ
â The Leather Loafers âŁ
â The NewsCasters âŁáŠâ
â Made of stardust: Folia âŁáŠ
â Red Envelope âŁáŠ
â Lovely Little Mess âŁáŠ
â Hold On [Series] âȘâ
â Good Girl âŁáŠ
â Kairos âŁâȘáŠ
â more recs coming soon
đđŸđ đŽđđđđđŸ:
â Intruder âŁ
â Act On It âȘáŠâŁ
â Tsundere âȘáŠ
â Hate To Love You âȘáŠâŁ
â Boseong Breakfast âȘáŠâŁâ
â Unravel âŁ
â Home For Christmas âȘâŁ
â Humbug Blues âȘáŠâŁ
â Ink Nemesis [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â Hidden Stars [Series] âȘáŠâ Â
â Wildest Moments [Series] áŠâ Â
â Punch Drunk âȘáŠÂ
â Adore áŠÂ Â
â Three Squeezes [Two Shot] âŁâȘáŠâ Â
â Heavy Sugar áŠâÂ
â Aquiver [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ Â
â Three Is Home âŁÂ
â Play Thing áŠÂ Â
â All I Want For Christmas âŁÂ
â The Truth Between Us [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â Bonnie & Clyde [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â Churro Chumps âŁÂ Â
â I Go *** For You áŠÂ Â
â Neighborly Etiquette âŁâȘ Â
â Making the most out of a ghost (oh, weâre toast!) âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Unexpected [Series] âȘáŠâ Â
â Close to You âŁâȘÂ
â Restraint âȘáŠÂ Â
â A Brief Story of Time âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Daegu hold âem âŁÂ Â
â Baby Fever áŠÂ
â Mi Casa âŁÂ
â Curious áŠÂ Â
â Performance Evaluation áŠÂ Â
â Tongue Tech áŠÂ Â
â Heart Haunting âŁâȘÂ
â Somebody Else âȘáŠÂ Â
â The Honeytrap áŠÂ
â Arranged [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â Enigma [Series] âŁâȘáŠâÂ
â Catharsis áŠÂ Â
â Unread âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Closed Circuit áŠÂ Â
â Party áŠÂ
â Baby, you can drive my car âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Basketball Captain âŁáŠÂ
â Ceo!Yoongi âŁáŠÂ Â
â The Fishnet Stockings áŠÂ Â
â Daddyâs little girl âŁáŠÂ Â
â Android!Yoongi âŁáŠÂ Â
â Demon!Yoongi áŠÂ Â
â The Early Shift [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ Â
â Everglow [Series] âŁáŠâÂ
â Dreamcatcher âŁâȘ Â
â Student Council Prez [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â First Date Bait âŁÂ
â Just the Four of Us [Series] áŠâȘâ Â
â As We Go Along âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Kiwi âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Good Girl âŁáŠÂ
â more recs coming soon
đ„đđđ đ»đđđđđ:
â Orectic áŠâŁ
â Rescue Me âȘáŠâŁÂ
â Golden Heart [Series] âŁâ
â Three Squeezes [Two Shot] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Hot Rod âŁáŠ
â Three Is Home âŁ
â Sonic Rain âŁâȘáŠ
â Peppermint [Two Shot] âŁâȘâ
â Trust Me âŁâȘ
â  CHARMOLYPI [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Night Stalker âŁâȘáŠ
â Now or Never [Series] âŁâȘáŠâÂ
â Heavy áŠ
â Attention áŠ
â Special Package áŠ
â Jealous áŠ
â Suncity âŁâȘáŠ
â Magnetized [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Silver Bells and Cockle Shells âŁâȘáŠ
â Say no to this áŠ
â Ambiguous âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Charred [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Party áŠ
â Head Over Heels to Hell âŁâȘ
â Jungle Park [Series] âŁâȘâ
â New Yearâs Eve âŁáŠ
â Snowflake Kisses âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Ruby Crush âȘáŠ
â more recs coming soon
đ«đ¶đđ đ„đŸđđŸđ:
â Star Light, Star Bright âȘáŠâŁ
â Last Christmas âȘâŁ
â Rescue Me âȘáŠâŁ
â Serendipity âŁâȘ
â To Be Us [Two Shot] âȘáŠ
â Handyman [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Ragdoll [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Faded Love âŁâȘáŠ
â Syndicate âȘáŠ
â Tumble dry áŠ
â Radio Silence áŠ
â Appa âŁ
â Tease âŁáŠ
â Ribbons âŁáŠ
â Beneath the Water âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Locked in Love âŁâȘáŠ
â Lovesick âŁâȘ
â Earnestly Yours âŁ
â Memories of Old and New âŁâȘ
â Good Girl âŁáŠÂ
â more recs coming soon
đŠđŸđ đŻđ¶đđœđđđđ:
â First Christmas âŁ
â Heatwave Godless Heatwave Drabbles âȘáŠâŁâ
â Picking Flowers âȘáŠâŁâÂ
â Paper Cranes âŁâȘáŠâ Â
â Seoksanhwa âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Angel âŁáŠÂ
â Adore áŠÂ
â To Be Us [Two Shot] âȘáŠâÂ
â Get You The Moon âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Playful âŁâȘ Â
â Feline Instinct âŁ
â Curious áŠÂ Â
â Fake Love âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Greengreengreen áŠÂ Â
â Business Attire áŠÂ Â
â Somebody Else âȘáŠÂ
â Everythingoes âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Stay the night âȘáŠÂ
â Insomnia áŠÂ Â
â Stuck With You âŁáŠÂ Â
â Falling in crayolove âŁâȘ Â
â Catching a Case of the Doctor Blues [Series] âŁâȘâÂ
â Out of the Blue âŁâȘ Â
â The Presidentâs Son [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â A Matter of Shyness [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â Sanctuary âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Nerves on Edge âŁáŠÂ
â Surprise âȘáŠÂ
â SweetPea [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ Â
â Donât Ask, Donât Tell [Series] âŁâȘáŠââÂ
â Ravenous áŠÂ Â
â more recs coming soon
đ„đđđ đ„đđđđđđđ:
â Kissing Fire [Series] ââȘâŁáŠâ
â It Ainât Me [Text AU] âȘâ Â
â The millionaire and his lover âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Hidden Stars [Series] âȘáŠâ Â
â Beauty and The Beast âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Since Day One âŁáŠÂ Â
â Donât Wanna Fall [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â Angel âŁáŠÂ
â Pink áŠÂ Â
â Noona áŠÂ Â
â Let Me Hold Them áŠÂ
â Pen Pals âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Long Lost âŁâȘ Â
â The Wedding Planners âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Ice Prince âŁâȘ Â
â New Romantics âŁâȘ Â
â Microwave (Mis)adventures âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Fire and Ice âŁÂ Â
â Contradict âŁâȘáŠâÂ
â Change of Heart âŁâȘ Â
â Making the most out of a ghost (oh, weâre toast!) âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Nervous Proposal [Two Part] âŁáŠâ Â
â Home âŁâȘ Â
â Falling Skies [Series] âŁâȘáŠâÂ
â Howling For You âŁáŠÂ Â
â Hopping Mad For You âŁáŠÂ Â
â Preydator âŁÂ Â
â One Night, Two Parties âŁáŠÂ Â
â CHARMOLYPI [Series] âŁâȘáŠâÂ
â Animal [Series] âȘáŠâ Â
â A fallen bookmark on a Thursday afternoon âŁâȘáŠÂ
â Blizzard âŁáŠÂ Â
â Green Room áŠÂ Â
â High Rise âŁÂ Â
â Shark Week âŁÂ Â
â The Name Game âŁÂ Â
â Do-Re-Mi-Fa-So (Fucking Done) áŠÂ
â Itch âŁáŠÂ
â Ribbons âŁáŠÂ
â Everythingoes âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Daddy áŠÂ Â
â His Name [Series] âȘâ Â
â Moonlight Melody âŁâȘÂ
â Room for Dessert [Series] áŠâÂ
â Bite Me âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Rebound âȘáŠÂ
â Lifeguard âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Heartbreak Trials âȘáŠÂ
â Chess of Ice [Series] âŁâȘâ Â
â Crumbs âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Krampus for Christmas âŁáŠÂ Â
â Nerves on Edge âŁáŠÂ Â
â 10 Beats Before The Light âȘáŠÂ Â
â Will You Make a Mess Now âŁáŠÂ
â Break My Mindâs Eye [Series] âȘáŠâ Â
â SweetPea [Series] âŁâȘáŠâÂ
â Love Alive âŁâȘáŠÂ Â
â Picture Perfect âŁáŠâ Â
â Every Breath You Take [Series] âŁâȘáŠÂ
â more recs coming soon
đ”đŻđź:
â Save Me [Series] ââȘâŁáŠÂ
â Thesis It [Series] â Prove It [Series] â âȘâŁáŠâÂ
â Tomorrow [Series] âŁâȘáŠâ
â Uncia [Series] âŁâȘâ
â Safe with me [Series] âŁâȘâ
â Please áŠÂ
â Protect Them [Safe with me sequel] âŁâȘâ
â Home [Series] âŁâȘâ
â Peppermint Mocha âŁáŠ
â Cum! BTS [Two Shot] áŠâ
â The Seven Kinds of Love âŁâȘáŠ
â Let Me Hold Them Again âŁáŠÂ
â Happy Holidays âŁ
â more recs coming soon
Angsty af recs that made me cry like a bitch:
Disclaimer: Some of these fics deal with pretty heavy and dark topics so trigger warning!
Okay so my emo phase never left me and I love reading stories that have some real girthy pain in them cause I love suffering like the masochist I truly am. Even better if they have sad endings. So Iâve collected and recorded all the fics that have literally made me stay up at night while crying and have really, truly ripped my heart out and I wanna share this pain with yaâll cause these fics, while sad af, are honestly really well written and I want people to know that these masterpieces exist!
So without further ado, hereâs me list lads:
A Lionheartâs Oath (M) by sugaxjpg Jungkook x Reader
So lemme just start off by saying that THIS FIC is what made me wanna make this list in the first place cause I am pretty sure this is the first fic that made me cry. Itâs a 36k long story and itâs a Royal!AU to boot, with lovely descriptions of scenery and a couple of intense scenes, this will always be one of my all-time favourite JK fics out there and my go-to to break my heart *sad uwus*
Tears of a Villain by jimlingss Yoongi x Reader
Ok this fic deserves a warning before you read it cause you gotta emotionally prepare yourself for this one fam. Itâs about 15k long and itâs also a Superhero!AU but I swear to you, I did not expect it to be so utterly heart-wrenching in the most depressing ways. However, donât let that scare you because the way jiimlingss captures those emotions and writes them in a way thatâs so tangible and makes the pain all worth it. Another favourite of mine too.
Strain by evangelene Taehyung x Reader
Oof our first series on this list and itâs a Hanahaki!AU as well! Of course a sad bitch like me adores any Hanahaki AUâs weather theyâre sad or happy but this one in particular has excellent pacing and the most relatable, and dare I say coolest OC Iâve ever had the pleasure of reading. I also really like the relationship between the characters (especially the relationship between certain two people but I donât wanna spoil anything). It has about 5 chapters in total and each part has made me cry so grab a tissue and maybe some popcorn too. Itâs a ride hon!Â
Bad Guy (M) by sweetbunnykook Seokjin x Reader
Omg god, holy shit, omg. Can I just say how much I adore sweetbunnykooks works? Like the stuff they write about is really dark and I LOVE it! In saying that, another trigger warning because we are dealing with a Mafia!AU folks! This is also a series and Itâs about 6 parts long and still on-going too. The thing about this one here is that you instantly get flung into the deep-end and everything is so bloody intense and every part hurts and you might need to take breaks between each part because holy shit. H O L YÂ S H I T. Bunny really doesnât hold back any punches with this one.
Only You (M) by sweetbunnykook Jungkook x Reader
Iâve told yaâll about how much I love Bunnyâs fics so itâs no surprise that theyâre on here the second time in a row. This time however, itâs a Yandere!AU just not your typical âYuno Gasaiâ Yandere. No, the Yandere characterization in this AU has more of a baby boy nature and itâs a refreshing take to the genre but the fic still holds that intensity that Bunny has a natural talent for. Oh! and the smut scenes are nothing to gloss over as well, and there are many smut scenes throughout the series. Another 6 chaptered story thatâs still on-going.Â
Cut by chimchimsauce Namjoon x Reader
This fic here bois. This one here HURTED. Itâs a Soulmate!AU but a very sardonic one that takes a cynical point of view until the end where itâs just⊠oof. And the ending, OH THAT ENDING. God I remember crying until 2am cause of how well everything was placed to pull that ending off and the way chimchimsauce manages to make me feel a flurry of emotions in a short amount of time is *chefs kiss*. Like my heart was played like a fucking fiddle rip.Â
Let Me Stay Close to You by 9uk Jungkook x Reader
Imma be honest with you fam, this isnât gonna be everyones cup of tea because I think this fic will hit a little to close to home for a lot of people. It deals a lot with bullying and trauma and itâs like⊠really anxiety inducing lmao. I love it personally for that fact though and it makes you empathise with the pain and emotional turmoil OC had to put up with throughout their years. Itâs a completed series with 8 parts plus a spin-off.Â
Tales of Greyria by cutaepatootie OT5 x Reader
These are a small collection of what Iâll say are some of the saddest fics in the fandom lol and I honestly couldnât even pick one story from the five presented cause they all made me emo as all hell. I still get misty-eyed from reading the Prince of the Red Rose, like thats a major oof fic. Though, these stories include some of the most prettiest descriptions of scenery Iâve read as they paint a vivid picture that I wish was real.
Small by seokjincoffee Yoongi x Reader
Dang, Small really stuck true to itâs title and no, Iâm not making a âYoongi is shortâ joke what I meant was that I felt small and insignificant when I was reading this fic. There is this kind of depressing/realistic undertone to this 3 part series where it was really easy to imagine yourself in a situation like this. A sort of heavy-ish fic but 100% made me feel good despite what transpires. Itâs a lowkey hurt and comfort AU pretty much.
Iâll Never Be Her (M) by anon-luv Jimin x Reader
Iâm not ashamed to so say how utterly wrecked this series left me. Like I felt so fucking bad for OC while reading at I honestly just wanted to wrap them up in a blanket rip. Ever wondered what itâs like to have deep insecurities or low self-esteem issues? Well anon-luv brilliantly writes an accurate portrayal of what it feels like over 5 chapters and Iâm lowkey tearing up just remembering what the OC must of felt like oof. Good game anon-luv. Good game.
Slight Changes (M) by chiminiemoans Taehyung x Reader x Jimin
Ah okay so Iâm gonna cut to the chase, this is an Infidelity AU. i know a lot of people donât like that sort of thing so just a heads up. Itâs also emotional suffering at itâs finest and I vividly remember shouting âFuck you Taehyung!â out loud through tears because of a particular scene. It doesnât help how visceral chiminie narrates the emotional pain that all the characters are dealing with and being able to consistently hold this throughout 8 chapters as well as sprinkling a few life lessons in the mix. Itâs still on-going as well I think? So I just hope it ends happy for OC. Poor baby :(((
Iâll Drive you to the Hospital by gggbtswillbethedeathomeggg Jungkook x Reader
ALERT! Very heavy themes that deal with self harm and mental illness. Please donât read if these are triggers to you :( make some hot coco instead :). Alright so if you can handle these topics then I also wanna say this fic has no romance in it. ggg doesnât romanticise these topics AT ALL so this 10k fic hits hard and real. It also follows a Sibling AU theme and I think ggg manages the heavy themes quite well which is why I like it so much. Yea I have a personal attachment to this fic.Â
So ye. This was it. This is my heavy angst collection. Might add more if I find other fics that murder my heart and soul but in the meantime, Iâm going to listen to latte ASMR to relax.
oh my god
Hewwooo!!! Do you have any fic recs where the boy is the piner one? and oblivious!oc or something like that... it's always the other way around đŁđŁ thank you so much!
đ· Hello anon! These are what I remember.. Strangely most of them are part of my #holygrailfics which I marked with a carrot đ„ But, everything is a must read đ„°
UNREQUITED LOVE AUs - Member!Pining
đ Most of the stories will eventually achieve redamancy. There are just few fics here where itâs unrequited all throughout
Re: Untitled @to-star-lake - Jungkook  đ„
âł Arranged Marriage, Childhood Acquaintances, Enemies to Lovers, CEO/Executives, Angst, Smut, Fluff [4/4][
This is really one of my favorite discoveries đ„° At that time there wasnât much info or even comments on the fic so if youâre not as daring to try fics out, itâs easy to assume itâll be just a regular story. But I'm glad my curiousity won because this is such a gem. It was painful and lovely unpacking all the discoveries in their relationship (or lack of) per chapter đ„°. I swear the plot âtwistsâ per episode made the fic extra memorable.
Frost Impressions @fortunexkookie - Jungkook đ„
âł Â Teacher AU, Gamer AU, Simultaneous (One-Sided) Enemies to Lovers, Â Best Friends to Lovers, Idiots to Lovers AU, Humor, Tooth-rotting Fluff, Smut, Heavy Pining, Slight Angst [one shot]
ugh this just puts a smile on my face every time I remember this. I was just thinking about this Jungkook the other day. OC is oblivious because, well, they have this E2L thing going on. Plus he didnât exactly give a great FIRST IMPRESSION. So many AUs thrown in but author was able to squeeze it all and produce this masterpiece. Itâs just a feel-good fic đ„°
Love So Shallow @jimlingss - Taehyung đ„
âł Best Friend AU, College AU, eventual Roommate AU, eventual Pining [3/3]
also one of the best written OCs in fic land. Please read this gem. I still gush over how their relationship developed and youâll see how the âpiningâ develops too. Itâs a great Love Yourself theme too!
Paper Cranes @aquaminwrites - Taehyung đ„
âł Slice of Life, Childhood Friends, Best Friend AU, College [one shot]
Ugh my heart ached for this Taehyung. I donât know why I feel bad for him (I mean, it wasnât as if he was to be pitied) but the way author wrote his story is guaranteed to pull at your heartstrings.Â
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The Key to My Drawer @jjungkookislife - Taehyung  đ„°
âł Best Friend AU, Childhood Friends, Epistolary (letter form, some parts), Angst, Smut [12/12]
I was just thinking about this the other day because weâre just waiting for the last chapter/epilogue and then I saw the notif on ao3 that it got updated. What do you do when you get hold of a key to a drawer and discover unsent letters from your best friend? All addressed to you? Itâs such a creative way to tell a story and I enjoyed this very much đ„°
(please access the rest of the chapters through the authorâs masterlist)
Please Be Naked @floralseokjin - Yoongi đ„
âł Rebound AU, OC is Namjoonâs Ex, Namjoon is Yoongiâs ex-friend [8/8]
âyou were still a little unsure why he and your ex....had bad blood.â of course we all want to tell OC why! Seriously, this is a classic if you havenât read this yet. Yoongiâs just top-tier in this. Unforgettable characterization. Even if you are not into Yoongi fics, this is a must read for bts fics in general. The angst/smut is just đ; then read the drabbles for the fluffy future
One Thing Right by hobios - Jungkook đ„
âł Â Arranged Marriage AU, Fake Marriage AU, Childhood Friends AU, Enemies to Lovers, Police Office AU, slow burn [8/8]
So I am adding this to every fic rec list because like RE: Untitled, thereâs a lot of discoveries in this fic. Itâs always a question why Sheriff Jeon will agree to a marriage of convenience (I mean heâs committing fraud in a way). So itâs wonderful to discover a lot things about their story since they had a falling out.
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Roses, Poetry, and Jeon @seraphimguks - Jungkook ââđ
âł bookstore au, enemies to lovers-ish?, fluff, slight angst [one shot]
This is just so beautiful and it is like curling up by the window on a rainy day with a warm hot chocolate. I think in my review I said the shift to Jungkookâs POV is like seeing poetry in action. Must read and instantly a favorite of mine
Tinder 2.0 @tayegi - Jungkook đ„ đ„
âł sex app/room, Coworker, Enemies to Lovers, Crack, Smut [one shot]
This is kind of different from the rest of this list because itâs more crack and smuttier. The pining is not as intense but itâs there. Please give this a read too.Â
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Bad Influence Collection @noteguk - Jungkook âđ„
âł FWB AU, Enemies to Lovers, Enemies with Benefits, College, Bad Boy AU, Smut [4/?]
please click the link to the masterpost so youâll access the very first story. Maybe it didnât start out pining at first but the recent chapters we see Jungkook getting so affected over OC (itâs mutual but I feel at this point its more JK trying so hard not to show heart eyes đ). Ugh, the joy I feel whenever this gets updated. Still ongoing but better start on this since some chapters are over 10k+ wc.
Hot Enough @soft-sarcasm - Yoongi âđ„
âł College AU, Fuckboy AU, FWB AU, Yoongi caught feelings (kind of Unrequited AU), Smut, Angst [one shot]
Iâve read years this years ago and when I decided to officially have a blog, it took me months to find this. Itâs just memorable because usually itâs the female catching feelings in a friends-with-benefits scenario. But here, OC actually rejected him (thatâs the start of the story). Please read and find out what happens next.Â
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First Love @jungnoir - YoongiÂ
âł bestfriend au, OC about to get marriedÂ
so this is sad at first because itâs only hours away from her wedding but read until the end đ
Not Yet + Almost @bratkook - Jungkook
âł neighbor AU, kinda fake boyfriend (on the spot) to annoy OCâs Ex [2/?]
ahh this is cute. I shouldnât be smiling at Jungkookâs pain but it was just so cute. Itâs more of mutual pining though. The first drabble is more on JKâs while Almost we get to see OCâs thoughts. So, I guess in the third???
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Pining 101 @guklvr - JungkookÂ
âł hospital au, friends to lovers, idiots to lovers, humor, fluff [drabble series]Â
a collection of drabbles based on pediatricsurgeon!jk dealing with his crush on generalsurgeon!reader. Read if youâre looking for something light and humorous.Â
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Sidekick @bananagukkie - JungkookÂ
âłÂ superhero au, best friend au, fluff [one shot]
You didnât realize that your best friend was in love with you or the fact that he was Busanâs ânewestâ hero.
Lifting the Veil @/fortunekookie - Jungkook đ
âł real unrequited love/pining, friends to lovers, smut, angst [one shot]Â
so yeah I guess read this first because it sure is angsty then read other fluffy fics (like Pining 101 or Frost Impressions)
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Requiem @cinnaminsvga - JungkookÂ
âł pretend confession!au, angst [drabble]
Jeon Jungkook loves you. You love someone else. He lets you say âI love youâ to him, if only so that he gets to hear it once in his life. - so yeah, letâs cry about it đ
Unveil @nijoonie - JiminÂ
âł Arranged Marriage, Childhood Friends to Lovers
angsty tones in the beginning. Jimin is such a dear đ„ș
â»â»â»â»â»â»â»â»â»â»â»â»
Best of Me @/floralseokjin - Jimin
âł Best Friend AU, OC just got heartbroken, angst
ugh just angst all over. The ending is hopeful but still sad?
Piece by Piece @underthejoon - Seokjin x Reader x Hoseok â
âł bestfriend au, fwb au, love triange, a collection of drabbles where your love life is muddied up by two men â the one you love and the one that loves you. Smut, Angst [drabble series]
if you are not into love triangles, I think this will, well not change your mind, but make the LT themes bearable. The writing is just beautiful and actually Iâve reblogged this for Hobiuary Day (one day I was on Hobi lockdown just reblogging purely favorite Hoseok fics) but I havenât written a review or reaction yet. Read and explore their relationship dynamics đđ„°
đ·Â so, I donâ recall a Namjoon fic where heâs the one pining (usually itâs the OC).Â
I had a great time recalling scenes from each fic (and what made the pining so angsty) đ„°. So, please enjoy!
.
amen
why do we need exams why canât my professors just trust me
Why do you reblog your own fics so much?
Because someone might as well!? And look at this. Look. At. This.
Does this look right to you??
These are just the last three fics I wrote. I appreciate the likes, believe me I do, but you have to understand. Likes do nothing for content creators. Itâs the reblogs. Because thatâs how you find shit on your dashboard. Through reblogs. Not likes. This isnât twitter or tiktok or instagram. This is a website thatâs run by the reblog system.
Reblogging helps content creators put their stuff out there. Why do you think so many people stopped writing fanfic and creating beautiful fanart and edits? Itâs because they put in hours of work and donât get nearly enough notes for their masterpieces. Yes we do this because we enjoy it but like...some validation wonât hurt. A boost of confidence here and there might be all someone needs to finish whatever thing they started and left.
Anyway, Iâm still going to reblog my shit...
a beauty
ghostin him
Summary: Life is nothing more than dull colors for you, your world shattered and laying in the shards of what once was rather than focusing on what is. That is until you meet Kim Namjoon, who is immediately taken by you without realizing youâre a girl with a whole lot of baggage, through tears and many sleepless nights youâre faced with a choice of hanging on with bleeding hands, or accepting what is, and letting go.
âWhat did you do?â
âI ruined everything. I kissed her and she looked at me like I was a ghost.â
Pairing: Namjoon/Reader, Taehyung/reader
Word Count: 26k
Genre: hurt and comfort, angst with a happy ending, whew this one is gonna hurt yâall, bakery!AU, one sided pining, unrequited feelings, some more angst, Jungkook just really loves his Noona, Namjoon is a mess, but so is MC,
Warning: this fic deals with major character death, mourning and suicidal thoughts, please read with caution!
Note: whew, Iâm not gonna lie guys this is a pretty heavy fic! I poured a lot of sad feelings into this as just a way to vent out my sadness! Iâd also like to mention I am fine lmao! I often get bouts of sadness and all of it went into this so I hope you enjoy! Last but not least a big big big thank you to @tiny-onecxââ for beta reading this when it was a giant mess and helping me turn it into the bittersweet story it is today! <3
âBaby, come on, wake up,â His deep, dulcet voice quietly called out, a whine escaping you as you flopped onto your stomach, your face buried. Large hands grabbing your waist as his fingertips dragged against the open skin, âCâmon, you missed your alarm clock.â You felt his nose rub against your neck, hair tickling your skin and his body was so warm.Â
Rolling over you groaned as you glanced at the man who laid beside you, Taehyungâs smile lit up like the sun as he let his fingers gently brush over the skin of your face, âMorning.âÂ
Adoration filled your whole chest, butterflies swarming in your stomach with giddy happiness you couldnât ever adequately describe as a shy smile tugged on your lips, âMorning.â His fingers dragging down to your lips, thumbing the soft subtle lower lip. His forehead pressing against yours as he smiled once more, âCome on baby, letâs get up.âÂ
âGet up.âÂ
âY/n, youâre gonna be late for work, what the hell!?âÂ
Keep reading
Reblog if youâd still love Jungkook without abs
Masterlist
Handshakes of a Lifetime OT7 x Reader BTS Soulmate AU ...the meeting room is getting closer and closer, basking you and those around you in warm light, and you think about all the internet comments people write about this kind of moment, âshe must have saved a country in her past life to experience this.â Ch1 / Ch2 / Ch3 / Ch4 / Ch5 / Ch6 - 4% / ?
Handshakes of a Lifetime - Chapter 5
You snag exclusive fan meet tickets, but as you shake hands with your favorite idols, something strange happensâŠ
BTS soulmate AU. OT7 x Reader / Yoongi x Reader focused in this chapter, slight Jungkook x Reader
Here we gooooo. I have a special place in my heart for Yoongs, I think this might be my favorite handshake yet. Enjoy the craziness!
Warnings: death, blood, guns, stabbing, fighting, bondage, drunk sex, rough sex Yoongi and y/n are just two kinky idiots in love, ANGST so much angst why, let me know if I need to add more I know itâs dark.
Word Count: 10.6k
âSo you think if I touched her, it would happen to me too? Is that why-â Taehyung turns to a defeated Jin.
âI donât know.â He canât stop thinking about you, his body hurts, his chest hurts.
âI want to try, this is so unfair.â Taehyung whines.
Namjoon sighs, âWellâŠâ
You hear a knocking at the door. Your legs felt numb. How long have you been sitting here? You were too lost in your thoughts, reliving moments that werenât yours.
âHello? Unlock the door.â
You know that voice. No way.
Youâve listened to his solo songs on repeat so many times, his deep voice and sharp tongue playing in your ears for hours at times.
For lack of better judgment, you decide to stay silent. You slowly unlock the stall door trying not to make a sound as you tiptoe to the door. You rest your ear against the wood hoping to hear something. You consider maybe it was just another delusion. There is just no way.
âWe know youâre in there.â You flinch from the door, the idolâs voice is as clear as day.
âI donât know what happened, but I didnât mean to do what you think I did..I-I donât even know what I-I just want to go home. Please...â You put your palm on the door, a superficial gesture you know wonât make a difference, much like a nod to a person over the phone, and rest your head on the door waiting for his response. There is a long silence.
The weary idol stands in front of the bathroom door. He should have let Namjoon handle it, he thinks, why did he volunteer? When security came to tell them you had locked yourself in the bathroom, it brought up old memories he didnât like thinking about, it made him want to help you. So before anyone else could, he volunteered to get you. But now he felt inadequately prepared, he should have just let Namjoon handle it.
He gestures to the security to give him some space. He rests his head on the door and sighs, instead of reaching for the door handle he rests his hand above it.
âCan I please come in? Open the door, it will just be me, I promise.â The idol switches to Korean, hoping you understand him. âI just want to talk to you. And then you can leave.â Actually, he doesnât know if it will be that easy, but at this point he would tell you anything to get you to open the door.
He hears the slow scrape of metal as the lock turns. He gives security one last look to stay back before opening the door. You shuffle back quickly as the door opens and in walks Min Yoongi of BTS.
Yoongi shuts the door and locks it again. You try to give him space, but he advances towards you. So you keep giving him space and he puts his hand up in surrender, like someone would when approaching a scared animal.
âHello.â He greets you in English. This was a bad idea.
âH-Hello.â You both face each other awkwardly.
This was the last thing youâd ever expect to happen, standing alone in a bathroom with BTSâs Suga. You feel like youâre burning up, you wonder how you havenât managed to pass out as the rapper watches you in silence.
âIâm sorry, Iâm sorry I freaked out. Iâll just go home, I promise I wonât ever talk about what happened. I-I mean, I donât know what happened, nothing-â
âIt will be okay. Breath.â He speaks in English to you again. âTake a deep breath. Count to ten.â
Youâre shaking again. Heâs being so nice to you, it makes you want to cry even more.
Câmon, count.â
You start counting in shaky Korean, glancing over at the rapper who tries to hide a smile at the way you recite the words like a school child taking a test, you finish and feel like laughing at the ridiculousness of the situation, your own lips curving upward as you begin to relax.
âDo you understand me when I speak Korean?â Yoongi says in Korean. You nod.
âDo you understand me when I speak in English?â The rapper nods back. âMost of it, yes,â he confesses.
You stand there awkwardly too scared to speak, gripping the sink counter to steady yourself, your reflections stare back at you in the bathroom mirror. The rapper looks perfect in his button down and styled hair, you on the other hand-
You laugh, âOh god, I look horrible.â You turn on the sink and splash cold water on your face to get rid of your dried tears.
âNo you donât.â The rapper leans on the counter looking at you, grabbing a paper towel to hand to you. He is making it very hard for you to pretend heâs not there.
You watch him through the mirrorâs reflection, âThank you.â The words barely come out of your mouth. You turn around and lean on the counter beside him, making sure to keep your distance. âThis is the weirdest night of my life,â you canât help but let out a small laugh.
The two of you stand there next to each other in silence for a painfully long time.
Finally, Yoongi lifts his hand palm side up and gives you a sideways glance. âI owe you, donât I?â
You stare at his hand, study the silver rings around his fingers.
â...A handshake.â
âWhat?â You can only gawk at him.
âYou paid all this money for handshakes from all members...â
That was not what you expected. âItâs okay. You donât have to.â
âI want to.â
You grip the counter tighter, âI donât want to, really, itâs okay.â
âI insist.â You can hear the frustration in his voice.
âNo...Itâs okay. I won't hold it against you.â
Yoongi frowns, slowly lowering his hand, feeling stupid. How is he supposed to get you to touch him?
He chews on his bottom lip and sneaks a glance at you again. Against all his instincts, when he realized he had another chance to see you, he took it with no question. You scared him and yet he felt himself gravitating to you. Everything that transpired had given him so many questions, and you were the only answer. âPlease, I want to know-I want to know if itâs true.â Yoongi pauses, âI just want to understand why I feel the way I do being around you.â
You realize just how close the rapper stands next to you, your shoulders almost touching, had he moved closer and you didnât even realize it? Did you?
You glance over at him, he looks so vulnerable and lost, nothing like the intimidating idol who stood in front of you at the fanmeet. He seemed so untouchable, now heâs asking you to do just that. You want to give in, you think itâs the least you can do for him, and then heâll realize his mistake and let you go home.
You brace yourself and push away from the counter behind you, turning to face the rapper.
âOkay, but youâll probably regret it,â you whisper, extending your hand.
Yoongi goes to grab your hand but you move yours just out of reach before he has a chance to, âDonât say I didn't warn you...â Yoongi nods to you. He grabs your hand.
âCan you let go of me already.â You whisper as Yoongi holds you in a death grip.
âYeah, letâs just blow our entire cover.â Yoongi hisses. This was not how the mission was supposed to go. Yoongi doesnât do field missions, his talents are long range. Away from people, especially you.
âAnd can you stop looking at me like that, youâre supposed to be acting like my wife,â he warns lowly in your ear, you think heâs going to dislocate a finger the way heâs squeezing your hand. Yeah right, like you would ever marry a man like Min Yoongi.
Youâre annoyed. Annoyed at the man next to you, annoyed they required you to have a male partner at all, like you needed a babysitter to do your job. On top of it all, it had to be him.
The gala you walk into is being held for top diplomats and politicians from all over the world. You let Yoongi pull you through the crowds as you scan the room for your target, a corrupt delegate who has a swath of information that could be useful to the state. You pull on Yoongiâs arm to get his attention, âYour left, 9 oâclock.â
He pulls you closer before you can advance on the target, grabbing your chin to face him instead, to anyone else it would look like a romantic gesture, for you itâs just another tactic Yoongi uses to keep you leashed to him. âWe should make sure there arenât any threats first.â
Youâve never been a woman to accept the cages men tried to confine you to, you have claws and you know how to use them. You lean into Yoongi, you can feel his body stiffen as you press your chest against his. You place a kiss on his cheek, bring his arms around you until he gives in and grips your body instead, âThatâs your job isnât it, let me do mine,â you give him your best smile, but your eyes show him your true emotions as you glare at him with hatred. And with that, you were able to slip away from Yoongiâs grasp.
You drop your suitcase onto the only bed in your small hotel room. You know you needed the sharp shooter to complete the mission, but why did you have to share a room with him too? And why do they keep assigning Yoongi to you? Youâre a top agent, you could easily complete this mission with an amateur, anyone but the smug sniper who is making his way toward you now.
âWe need to be on site at 23:00, so go do something while I sleep.â The agent starts unbuttoning his cuff, paying you little attention.
âSo Iâm not supposed to get any rest?â You cross your arms and frown at the jaded man in front of you, âWhat the hell am I supposed to do while youâre getting your beauty sleep?â
âNot my problem.â Yoongi is sleep deprived and more irritable than usual. âYou slept on the plane ride here, I know because your snoring kept me up the entire flight.â
You feel your face go hot with anger and embarrassment. âWell, Iâm not leaving. This is my room too!â
âDo what you want! I donât care.â the sniper yells. He needs to sleep so he can keep you safe, he thinks, âungrateful brat.â
He moves past you shoving his shoulder into yours. In your anger, you shove him back. He turns around glaring at you, then decides to shove you again, this time with his hands. Yoongi is stubborn, but youâre more stubborn, you push him again, and now youâre in a shoving match with your own partner.
âWill you stop!â he yells, pushing you so hard your back hits the hotel wall.
âYou first!â The next time you push your hand into his shoulder Yoongi grabs your wrist and pulls you hand forward, slamming his chest into you and crushing you between his body and the wall.
He glares down at you, his eyes flicker down to your lips.
Why did he do that? âUgh idiot,â and now you're thinking about his lips, the thoughts make you glance down. âFuck, why did I do that?â He catches the movement of your eyes.
You stand trapped against his strong frame, you think about elbowing him away, sweeping his feet and knocking him out for daring to test you like this, but you needed him at the top of his game for tonight. You squirm in his grasp while he stares down at you with an unreadable expression.
Eventually, when you feel like the pounding of your pulse might give you a heart attack Yoongi removes himself from you and goes to the bathroom, slamming the door shut. You hear the shower start. âWhy does it have to be him,â you wonder, rubbing your temples with your fingers. You decide to go grab some food. Thereâs a pit in your stomach, it must be hunger you think.
---
You walk the perimeter of the house, leaving the man you coaxed into bringing you into his home asleep in his bed. The sleep sedatives you laced in his drink made sure he wouldnât bother you while you search his mansion. You had to work quickly and quietly.
âTwo guards, headed your way.â Yoongiâs voice comes through in your earpiece, letting you slip into an empty room undetected.
âClear?â
âClear.â Yoongiâs deep voice crackles in your ear.
You make your way down the third floor hallway until you reach a large door.
Yoongi watches you through heat sensor binoculars. âThere are five guards behind that door, do not engage.â
âI guess Iâm getting warmer then.â You remove the knife around your thigh. âDo you have a clear shot on any of them?â
The sniper sees three windows, two blocked almost entirely by a curtain, the last only slightly covered, the situation was not ideal. âNegative, Youâll have to push them to the far open window so I can get a better shot.â
You look at the large windows of the hall you stand in. âDo you have a clear shot on me?â
âDonât tempt me.â
You smirk, âYou ruin your perfect record? Doubt it.â
You knock on the door, ignoring Yoongi hissing in your ear, âSo much for the element of surprise.â
âThis is not the bathroom!â You stab the first guard in the neck. As he falls, clutching his throat and spluttering for air, you hug your body to the wall. When the next guard runs out you kick the pistol out of his hand. He fights against your advances, heâs strong and trained, but even then one can only take so many stabs to the body. The rest of the men advance on you, two drop, you see the bullet holes in their skulls.
âThanks-â the last man lunges at you, putting you in a chokehold. Heâs tall, he lifts you up and you lose your footing. You swing your knife, blade piercing his arms, but his hold on you stays. You kick in his grasp, your legs make contact with the wall and you both go down.
âI donât have eyes on you. Get him in my sight!â Youâd like to yell at Yoongi that thatâs exactly what you were trying to do, but the guardâs hold on your windpipe makes it impossible. You aim your knife for his sides until his grip on you lessens. You roll off of him and start crawling, hoping he falls into your trap. He grabs your leg, you use the momentum to twist your body and kick him in the chest, before he falls on his back, heâs already dead. You can always count on Yoongi to never miss a headshot.
âLike I was saying, thanks.â Your voice is hoarse. Yoongi scoffs in your ear.
As you work to open the safe youâve located, you hear Yoongiâs voice again, âGet out of there now! Twelve guards headed your way!â
âJust twelve?â You grab the dead mansâ guns and barricade yourself in the room. You pull every curtain you see down and fall to the floor just in time as gunfire fills the room.
Yoongi watches you take the men down one by one. You move in a chaotic dance around the room, thereâs a preciseness to your movements, and also a wildness in your actions. Youâre like a feral tiger, eating your targets alive. Yoongiâs impressed. The sniper lines up shot after shot, giving you as much cover as he can offer. He tries to keep your bloodshed to a minimum, you set up the pins, he knocks them down.
He is more than happy to deal the final blow. As he adds another tick to his total body count, he hopes youâll be okay. Physically, he knows youâll be fine, but mentally, he worries about you. Memories with you after similar missions still haunt him, the quiet anguish that fills you after every big bloodbath. Itâs become a ritual to spend nights together after a mission, neither of you able to sleep soundly, youâd often wonder out loud to Yoongi if the dead men had wives or children, ask if it bothered him, âdestroying families.â It didnât, if heâs being honest, they were horrible men and their families were probably better off without them in his eyes, but he knew it bothered you.
So, he doesnât mind killing for you, itâs not because he cares about you, no, itâs just easier to get through missions that way. He would rather have everyone think youâre a tiger, Yoongi knows the truth.
Yoongi pulls you back, concealing your bodies from the advancing enemies. You look at him questionly. He places a finger to his mouth to keep you quiet. He signs with his hands, âtwo,â âahead,â âyou wait,â âIâll go around.â You nod in agreement. You wait, straining your ears to hear signs of struggle. You hear footsteps running towards your direction. You grab the enemy and knock him out before he can make a sound. Yoongi is pulling you away, handing you a black bag you assume is full of data your agency so desperately wanted. You make a quiet getaway, grateful you can hide in the shadows and follow Yoongi to your escape: a boat that can get you to international waters. You stretch and watch the night sky as Yoongi starts the engine. âI didnât die.â you hum.
âYou say that like youâre disappointed.â
You snort, kicking the bag you and Yoongi risked your lives for. You turn to him, âThank you, comrade, you saved my life.â
Yoongi shuffles uncomfortably, youâre being pleasant and itâs weird. âYouâre welcome.â
âWe make a good team, hmm?â
You sit on Yoongiâs workbench. In his space. The two of you work in silence as you put together the pieces of your handgun. He cleans the parts of his sniper rifle. He hands you the last piece of your weapon, itâs easier working here with him, his office is quiet. He doesnât try to make small talk with you, you hate small talk. Your days are not âgood.â Youâre sick of using your body to lure in your targets, having to do things more than what youâre comfortable with on multiple occasions to complete the mission. But as a female agent, sometimes you think thatâs all you're good for, and they would kill you if you tried to leave now. Escaping and living a quiet life without the man who sits next to you, not being able to protect him, you donât want that either.
You hop off the table, Yoongi had also gotten up from his chair to grab more rags and you collide into each other. He grabs your waist to steady you. You bodies press against one another. You hold your breath. As his strong hands move you to the side, he mutters a sorry.
Yoongi is livid. He is slamming drawers and yanking open cabinet doors as you slowly make your way to sit onto the medical table. The safehouse is empty except for you and him.
âAre you insane or just stupid?â Your partner advances on you hastily, a medical kit in his hands.
You roll your eyes, âItâs just a scratch, Iâm fine.â The blood seeping from your side and over your fingers betrays your words.
Yoongi yanks your hand away and grabs the tattered corners of your blood covered shirt and rips it. You try to stay stoic as you sit in front of him in only a bra while Yoongi works to clean and bandage your wound. His actions are so aggressive your body jerks back and forth from his movements. He pulls a bandage particularly tight and you yell, glaring at him. He glares back at you.
âYou could have died.â Yoongi says softly. He keeps his eyes trained on your wound, adding the image to the list of reasons on why he doesnât get close to people.
âAnd you would have died.â
His hands drop to the medical table as he cages you in. His dark eyes bore into yours, you hate how it makes you feel: vulnerable. âDonât risk your life for me.â
âDonât tell me what to do.â
---
âTell me how much you want me.â Your partnerâs low voice whispers in your ears. You think youâd rather die.
His fingernails scratch your scalp as he grabs a hold of your hair and yanks back, pulling you against his front. Your hip digs painfully into the dresser in front of you, as he pushes his body closer to yours. Your face feels tight, the pain burns your scalp, a reminder that you still can feel something. Everything in your life makes you feel numb, but Yoongi makes you feel alive. You hate how addicted youâve become to his touches.
âIf you donât say it, you wonât get anything,â he tuts, tightening his hold on your hair and a moan escapes you. He pulls your head back and places soft kisses on the column of your neck.
Yoongi waits, his lips attached to your neck as he grinds his hard erection into your ass until you lose yourself to pleasure, unable to take his teasing any longer.
âI want you.â
âI canât hear you.â
You grind your teeth, âYouâre pushing it.â
Yoongi grabs your breast, âTell me, kitty.â His rough hands on your body is exactly what you want, makes you drip with arousal, but youâll never tell him that. Instead, you move your hands behind you and grab at his hard erection.
âI canât seem to remember what I was going to say, do you?â You run your hand down his length and squeeze, his hold on your hair loosens ever so slightly as his breathing turns shallow.
Heâs used to your stubborn nature by now, but this kind of fight is something youâll never win. Yoongi grabs your wrist and holds your arm in place, twisting your arm in a lock and bending you over the dresser. You struggle against him, as he opens your legs wider with his own. âYou know kitty, youâre not invincible. Always ready to start a fight. If youâre not careful, someone might decide to teach you a lesson.â
You can see him out of the corner of your eye. He normally looks so composed, but the way he stares down at you so hungrily, he looks wild, eyes blown wide by lust.
âAnd is that you?â you laugh, grunting as he pushes down on you, grabbing your other arm and locking it behind your back. The weight of him against your back increases, stealing air from your lungs. His low voice whispers teasingly in your ear, sending shivers down your spine, âDo you want it to be me?â
Yoongi stands, watching you struggle against his hold. He knows it would be easy for you to get away from him if you really tried, and the knowledge that youâre submitting to him in your own stubborn way makes his body hot and dick throb. He squeezes your thigh, his thumb rubbing against your center. Youâre so wet, your underwear drenched in arousal. He bites back a moan, pressing against your sensitive bundle of nerves, rubbing deep circles into you and forcing a whine to escape your lips. He lifts up your skirt, yanking the wet fabric of your underwear down to your thighs. His touch is slow and teasing. He runs his fingers along your slit, drenching his digits and bringing them to his mouth. You taste so good, fuck he canât get enough of you, Yoongi is going to wreck you.
You watch him licking his fingers and you clench unsatisfyingly around nothing. âPleaseâŠâ you whisper, the sight of him had broken down your walls.
Yoongi unzips his pants and pulls himself out. He takes no more time, plunging into your heat suddenly. You shudder, it feels so good to have him inside you. He finally lets go of you to grip the flesh of your hips, slamming into you over and over. The force of his thrusts takes your breath away, as your body shifts up and down against the hard surface of his dresser.
With every thrust you feel the tension in your body uncoil, you never want this to end, youâd rather drown in the pleasure heâs giving you then deal with the pain of your life. âYou feel so good, fuck me harder!â The words leave your lips without thought. You donât want to feel anything else but his bruising touches, you donât want to think of anything else but him.
Yoongi grips your shoulder with one hand, moving your body to meet his thrusts as his pace becomes brutal. Your entire body vibrates with pleasure as he manhandles you. You pulse around him as you let go. Yoongi goes faster, using your body to climax, you let yourself moan freely, losing yourself to the pain and pleasure of overstimulation. You can feel him filling you up as he shakes against you.
Your world comes back into focus as you gasp for breath, your body slumped against the desk. âIs that all youâve got? Hardly a lesson.â Yoongi laughs, wrapping his arms around your middle. He lifts you up and throws you onto the bed. You land with a huff.
---
The silence is deafening as you lay across from your partner. The twin bed in the cheap motel room you share makes it impossible for either of you to have your own space. Neither of you can sleep, and youâre both too tired to complain about the situation, so you stare at each other in the darkness, the neon lights outside your window bathe your faces in soft hues of blue. The cheap sheets scratch your skin, you can feel the hard edges of your gun underneath the old thin hotel pillow, but the soft fabric of Yoongiâs long sleeve shirt feels nice against the back of your hand. You absentmindedly brush your hand against his arm, your fingers play with the baggy material, rolling the fabric between your fingers. Yoongi places his free hand over yours to stop your actions. Youâre too tired to question him, nor do you want to break the silence. Yoongiâs features are calm, his hardness is all gone tonight, when he relaxes you think he looks quite soft. Tonight Yoongi doesnât look like a trained killer at all, his messy hair frames his face and his usual cold eyes radiate warmth. You study each other through half open eyes. Eventually, Yoongi closes his eyes, but doesnât remove his hand from atop yours. âGo to sleep,â he grunts.
You take a deep breath out. You focus on Yoongiâs steady breathing, trying to keep your heavy eyes open, scared of what youâll see once you close them, faces of the dead petrified corpses that always reveal themselves against the darkness of your shut eyelids. You study the soft features of your partner instead, able to memorize the details of his face while youâre so close to him. You think of him until sleep takes over.
---
You groan in pain, not ready to open your eyes to the morning light. Your throat is sore and dry, and your entire body aches, especially a certain part of you, the realization snaps you awake. You realize youâre not alone in your bed, you open your blurry eyes to a head of jet black hair. A man sleeps on your naked chest, you can feel his lips against your breast as he quietly snores. You realize his messy locks, the slope of his nose and contours of his muscular arm are all familiar to you, because heâs not a stranger at all. Memories of last night come back to you slowly.
Images of your partner offering you his bourbon, and you gratefully accepting. The pleasant conversation you had together, no arguing or superfluous challenging, just meaningful stories and gentle banter. You remember your partnerâs flushed face, the timid smile he tried to hide against his glass, his dark eyes pulling you in. The drunker you became the more you gravitated towards him, until you were pressed up against him, moaning against his lips as his tongue explored your mouth, and you begging him to fuck you. No no no no no.
A wave of mortification and humiliating arousal hits you. You shove your partner off you.
âWhat the fuck!â Yoongiâs head is pounding, and your punches are not weak. Itâs too damn early to be fighting with you already, Yoongi thinks. He pins you down, âWhat the fuck do you think youâre doing?â He yells, not understanding why youâre here or why you suddenly decided to attack him.
The way his hands pin your wrists brings on another wave of memories that invade your mind and makes your face burn hot with embarrassment. He looks down at you and notices the purple bruises littering your neck and chest, your chest that is absent of a shirt, and your very naked body, against his very naked body. He letâs go of you in his shock. You scoot away from him, pulling the bed sheets up to cover yourself. He stares at you, mouth wide open, trying to place the pieces of last night together. âOh fuck.â
âThis will never happen again.â
His eyes scan your body as his hazy mind replays the events of last night, his face goes red at thoughts of you writhing under him. Yoongi was so desperate to explore your body, make you moan his name. He prays you were too drunk to notice how badly he wanted you. âNever.â
---
You spot three guards in front of the door, âa little excessive,â you think. You grin to yourself as you run through every possible take down you can use against them. Theyâre big men, and big men always underestimate women.
Yoongi sits patiently, the blindfold doesnât permit him to see, but he smirks to himself as he hears the sounds of struggle outside.
He hears the door open and close, feet circling him. He struggles against his restraints. Suddenly he feels a weight in his lap. The blindfold is pulled off and he meets your self satisfied face smiling at him.
âTook you long enough.â
You pout. âI should leave you here.â
You press your lips against his. Pulling him close by the hair. He grunts into your mouth. You press yourself down on him, grinding into his hardening length.
Yoongi struggles against his restraints, wanting to pull you closer to him. âUntie me.â
Thereâs a glint in your eye as you pull away from him. You kiss his neck instead, sucking hard on the sensitive skin behind his ear.
âYouâre going to regret not listening to me, kitty.â Yoongi growls.
You laugh against his skin, working to undo his belt. Yoongi groans as you grip his length.
âI thought you were supposed to be rescuing me.â
âI am,â you lick your lips, âbut then you had to go and let yourself get tied up.â You hop off his lap and kneel between his legs, Yoongi flexes his arms against the ropes, watching you intently. You bring the head of his shaft to your lips and kiss. The chair shakes as he pulls against his restraints groaning, you give him mercy as you suck him into your mouth, enjoying the way he struggles to keep his composure.
âYouâve had your fun,â he tries to hold in his moans, âyouâre going to get yourself captured too because you're such a needy slut for my cock.â He thrusts his hips up, making you choke. It doesnât deter you, as you press yourself deeper, your nose against his stomach, he shudders and the ropes dig into his wrists as he pulls harder against his restraints.
You pull off of him and look at him with a smirk. âI took care of the guards.â As if you already know Yoongi's next words you say, âI took care of all the guards.â Bringing your mouth around his length again, you suck him hard. You suck him down until you gag, over and over again until you can feel him swell, close to release, and you pull away. If looks could kill, you would have been added to Yoongiâs headcount. You jump to your feet and start cutting away the ropes that bind him.
âIâm untying you only because we are running out of time, not because you asked me to.â
He grunts, thinking of all the ways heâs going to use your body. âNoted.â
When free, Yoongi brings you into a crushing kiss, wrapping his hand around your neck. âDangerous girl, you deserve to be punished.â
---
You allow yourself to rest against the cold concrete floor, making yourself comfortable in the dirt and grime. Your muscles are sore, and youâre tired. Youâre tiredness doesnât just come from surviving the mission, youâre sick and tired of it all. You were the first to make it to the scheduled rendezvous point, maybe the only one left. You hear footsteps and turn to see your partner jogging towards you, his equipment bag slung over his shoulder, heâs winded, skin covered in dirt from his hasty escape. When he sees you, he runs over to you, his eyes scan over your body but he doesnât touch you. Your clothes are drenched in blood, but itâs not your own. You look like the walking dead, and you think you deserve to die, youâre a monster.
Yoongi sprawls out next to you, massaging his sore muscles. âIf you had let them live your identity would have been compromised.â He knows you had no choice but to kill them. âYou did what you had to do to complete the mission.â
âStop talking, please.â You stare at his dirt covered face, youâre glad he made it out alive, and you wished you hadnât. Your target had brought his wife and daughter, the agency didnât warn you, or maybe they knew and didnât care. You think about the love they must have had, so great he couldnât be apart from them, and you not only took their lives, but took that love and destroyed it. You knew you were a killer, but you never thought youâd be a villain. You reach for your partnerâs hand. He grips you tightly, his fingers are black with dirt, yours are stained with blood. You feel the weight on your chest become even heavier. You wonder if he could ever love you like that, you wonder if youâd just end up destroying that as well.
You lay asleep in Yoongiâs bed. His fingers run along your arm that rests on his chest. During the twilight hours, while you drift off to another world in your slumber, Yoongi allows himself to fully love you. He intertwines his fingers with yours and kisses the soft skin of your wrist, wrapping his arms around your sleeping frame. He letâs himself pretend youâre not in each other's company only for convenience, but because you love him as much as he loves you. He shouldnât love you, love is too dangerous for people like him, love is a risk too big to take. But until the sun comes up again he gives in to his weaknesses. When you wake, heâll be strong for you again, heâll be your shield and protect you from everyone including himself.
---
âSo you donât want to work with me anymore?â You barge into Yoongiâs workspace. He keeps his face emotionless, choosing to ignore you.
So you press on, âIâm with Petrov now, I didnât request a new partner, so it had to have been you. Why? Answer me!â
Yoongi leans back in his chair and crosses his arms, âYouâre overreacting, heâs new, they probably want you to show him how itâs done-â
âDonât fucking lie to me!â
âThereâs a good reason-â
âYouâre lying, youâre doing that thing with your hands when you lie!â You yell.
Yoongi shoves his hands in his pockets, his anger getting the better of him, âFine, maybe I donât want to be your partner anymore!â You stay silent. âYouâre reckless, you never listen to me, you almost died on our last mission. Iâm...Iâm tired of worrying about you.â
Your chest tightens in pain, his words sting more than any blade or bullet youâve ever taken. You try to meet his eyes, but he refuses to look at you. âCoward,â you think. You scoff, âFine...Good...I donât want to work with you either.â You turn on your heels to leave.
âWait!â Yoongi stands from his desk and rushes after you. When you refuse to listen, he wraps his arms around you and pulls you against him. âPlease, stop,â he whispers in your ear.
You place your arms over his, let his warmth envelope you. You donât understand him, heâs holding you like youâre about to break in his arms, but heâd let you go off into a mission without him? How could he do this to you? You thought you were a team, you thought you were...friends. You used to feel safe in his arms, now you just feel betrayal. You bite your lip, your sadness turns into bitterness, your bitterness into anger.
You dig your nails in his arms until he hisses and lets you go. You give your partner one last look before exiting his office, you give him one more chance. If he takes it, youâll find a way to forgive him, to fix whatever it is that made him angry enough to break the bonds between you. But he stays silent, his silence speaks volumes, âLike you said, you donât have to worry about me any longer. I'm not your problem anymore.â You slam his door shut.
Yoongiâs body is shaking. He slams his fist against the door. He rests his forehead against the wooden surface and swallows down the growing pressure in his throat, processing everything that just occurred. He made the right choice, this was for your own protection, he wouldnât allow you to care more about his life than your own, he knows heâs right, so why does he feel so sick?
Your reputation precedes you, the tigresse, a top agent. You pull off impossible missions. Maybe itâs because you just donât care if you can finish the job or not, youâll choose the riskiest plays, find yourself in the most dangerous scenarios; youâll choose the more daring escape route, and because of that people are afraid of you, even in your own agency. No one wants to work with you for too long, and you donât want them to either, so you finally get what you wanted, to work alone. Youâre at the top, all alone, thereâs no congratulations in your line of work, no happiness.
Yoongi doesnât have to worry about anyone anymore, even himself. On missions he used to view his sniper rifle as an extension of himself, now he feels just as cold and hollow as the barrel of his rifle, heâs become an empty killing machine. He canât sleep at night, he wakes up to nightmares of you dying over and over again. Eventually, when he canât take it anymore, he convinces his superiors to let him act as your backup without your knowledge, they only allow it because youâve become too valuable to lose. He still canât sleep at night, slowly losing his mind in solitude, trapped in a cage of loneliness by his own doing. He becomes a shadow, a ghost, making sure the legacy of their best agent survives.
You search for cover, the bullet holes in your body make every movement slow and painful. The holes in your leg keeps you on the ground. You pull yourself through the sea of dead bodies as bullets fly through the air.
You feel a hand on your shoulder, you start to aim your pistol.
âWhat are you doing here?â The gunman ignores you as he pulls your bloody body into his arms and runs.
Yoongi watched you from his post get shot, one, two, three times until he couldnât take it anymore. When he couldnât protect you from a distance anymore, he left his post, his decision as instantaneous as a traveling bullet.
He hides you and him, holding you close, looking over your wounds. He tries to put pressure on the bullet holes, but there are just so many. âIâm sorry,â he mutters, âI was supposed to protect you.â
You touch his face, you can feel the warmth of his skin against your cold fingers, heâs real. âYouâre here.â
Yoongiâs trained ears listen to the gunfire as it becomes louder, a sign he needs to move again. He reloads his assault rifle, heaving you up to your feet. You groan as more blood gushes from your wounds. Yoongi uses his assault rifle to make another path for you and him. Your ex partner drags your body along, hiding again to reload.
âYou need to save yourself. Iâm not going to make it.â You say as you cough up blood. Yoongi pulls you up again, ignoring your words, refusing to accept he canât save you. As he runs a stray bullet hits his shoulder and you both go down. Yoongi shoots to where he thinks the bullets came from, but his shoulder makes it difficult for him to aim.
âStop! You canât die too!â You aim your pistol at the two men advancing upon you from Yoongiâs blind spot. You manage to shoot one, but your blood loss makes your vision hazy and your aim too wide. The second manâs bullets hit Yoongiâs side. Yoongi adjusts his rifle and takes quick revenge. He doubles over in pain.
You grab his hand, your breathing is too shallow to tell him all the things you want to say. âSave yourself...â
âAnd leave you again? Never.â
Yoongi holds you until you take your last labored breath, and holds you still, until his own blood loss becomes too much.
---
Yoongi doubles over, crashing into you. You try to hold the rapper up, but you are faring no better, your body shakes in phantom pain. His entire weight is on you, you move against the wall for support as both of you try to catch your breath, his head leans on your shoulder, and he groans in agony. You grip his arms. Should you push him away? But you donât want to. You want to pull him closer. You grip his arms harder, frozen, your mind and body remembering, remembering everything, and it takes every last bit of your willpower not to react.
Finally, after your breaths have settled, he steadies himself on his feet, still pressed against your frame. He lifts his head, you can feel his breath on the side of your face. He laughs weakly against you, âI donât regret it.â
âWhat-â his eyes piece through you. You realize he hasnât moved away from you still, you stare back into the idolâs eyes, it all feels so familiar, too familiar...
His nose brushes against your cheek, you hold your breath at the sensation, itâs so familiar. His lips ghost over yours and when you donât pull away Yoongi presses his lips firmer onto yours.
You feel electricity in every vein, to the tips of your fingers, to the ends of the hair. Emotions that felt like distant memories scorch through you. Your legs buckle.
Yoongi had only meant to give you a quick kiss, just to see how it would compare to his wild memories, but the feelings that came over him overtook every sense of reason left in him. He deepened the kiss. You pulled him closer to you, it was automatic.
He felt his sanity slipping away with every inhale of your scent, a sprouting desire burst through him, a need everlasting lifetimes, it made him desperate to devour you. He pushes his leg in between yours to hold you steady when he feels you falling against him. You yell against his lips, his touch is too overwhelming and you feel yourself slipping away, you try desperately to stay in the moment, remember who you are to him actually. You push him away to catch your breath. âI shouldnât have done that. I-â
You both jump at the pounding from the door. âBoth of you need to come out now.â His voice is muffled, but youâd recognize the distinctive cadence of the BTS leader anywhere. Yoongi mutters words you donât understand. You yelp as he grabs your hand, leading you to the door.
Namjoon is greeted by the sight of his bandmate and you looking particularly guilty as you leave the bathroom. The way Yoongi holds your hand does not go unnoticed by the leader.
You walk in between the rappers, security following behind you. You can tell Namjoon is annoyed, the way he glances at the nonexistent space between you and Yoongi and clenches his jaw. What are you supposed to do, not hold Min Yoongiâs hand? The firm hold he has on you is the only thing thatâs keeping you from falling apart into an anxious puddle on the floor. So instead you spend the walk mentally screaming at yourself.
Namjoon opens an unmarked door and walks in, Yoongi follows directly behind him, pulling you along. You realize where you are as five more pairs of eyes meet yours.
They are all staring at you. You want to run and hide. You move behind Yoongi instead. He hasnât let go of your hand, and every man in the room notices it.
Namjoon goes first, âWe all need to talk.â
---
âSo now do you admit it!â Jimin looks between Yoongi and you with a frown.
âHe promised he wouldnât touch her.â Jungkook whines to Namjoon.
âI didnât promise. I said I wouldnât...I changed my mind.â
You listen to the group argue glancing over Yoongiâs shoulder, you make eye contact with Jin. His eyes are still red, like he hasnât stopped crying. For the first time since he grabbed you, you wanted to let go of Yoongiâs hand. Jin is the first to break away, he turns around, overwhelmed. Your face is still perfectly clear in his mind. Your words replay like whispers in his ear, âfind me.â
You break away from Yoongi and address everyone.
âUhh, I donât know...â you start, âI donât know how any of this works, or why itâs happening in the first place. But it is happening right? It happened to you too?â You look around at their faces, you look into Jiminâs eyes, âYou saw me too, I was with you, you looked different, but deep down, it was you.â Jimin shifts uncomfortably under your eyes, he feels his chest tighten at your words, âand you saw me in her too.â You turn to J-Hope. âRight? Please tell me Iâm-â you whisper the last part, âIâm not crazy.â
âYouâre not crazy.â Hoseok answers you immediately, looking at you with a guilty expression.
Jungkook is nodding up and down at you rapidly.
âI was with you..â Jin walks over to you, but stops before he gets too close, âIt felt so real...I was there with you on the cliffâŠâ his eyes are so sad it makes tears well up in your eyes.
âHow is this even possibleâŠâ Jimin speaks up, âI just donât understand.â Jimin looks upset. He doesnât want to believe any of this, none of it makes sense to him.
You can see the pain in their faces clearly. You feel like youâve done something horrible. All you wanted to do was meet your idols and thank them for making your life better, but you ended up making their lives worse, and you donât know how or why.
You rub your eyes before you start crying again, âIâm sorry. I should go home, itâs-" you check your phone screen. âOne thirty in the morning?! I should leave!â
You jump as the room fills with protests from the men. They all quickly stop as soon as they start. You all stare at each other.
Namjoon takes charge. âHow did you get here? We can have a driver take you home! We have to go to the hotel now, before you go home, we can finish talking there.â There is a finality to his words.
You stand there wide eyed, âhotelâ?
---
So now you sit alone in the back of a large car with four managers. They have given you forms to fill out. A stack of papers full of NDAs. You felt like you were signing your life away. You wanted to tell them to take you home, but you stayed silent, you didnât want to cause anymore trouble.
You follow the managers through the hotel into an elevator, to the top floor. They lead you into a massive penthouse and shut the door behind you. Jungkook is already inside waiting for you. Heâs still in his fanmeet clothes, the other men were still showering and changing, he couldnât wait any longer to see you again, for a chance to be with you alone.
You stand in the center of the room, unsure of what to do. Alone with the idol, your nerves skyrocket again.
Jungkook slowly makes his way closer to you. He stands in front of you, mirroring much like the way he stood in front of you at the fanmeet, his arms rock nervously by his sides. He bends down a little bit closer to you, and offers you a lopsided smile. âHey beautiful.â
You shut your eyes, you canât bear to look at him, you canât accept that he just said that to you. His words make you ache inside.
The idol waits and gives you space, feeling shy. You canât take it, his words throw your thoughts into a whirlwind, you want him back, you want what you had together again. You and the idol are worlds apart, but the Jungkook you had felt when your hands touched, he was your entire world.
âPlease.â You beg him, offering your hand to him. You donât know what youâre asking for, you donât know what touching him will accomplish. You feel just so alone, exhausted from fighting against everything youâre feeling, Jungkook all but gave you permission to give in.
He smiles at you, places his palm against yours. It feels so good, so warm. He clasps his fingers around yours, reaches for your waist with his other hand and pulls you against him with one fell swoop. You already know why, you wrap your free arm around his neck and hold him to you. You can feel his heart beating wildly against you, you know he must feel yours as well. He rests his forehead on yours. Itâs there again, that spark that explodes inside you, threatening to detonate all your sense of reason. Neither of you move, frozen in dance. He begins to hum a tune, a tune that pulls a smile from you-
The door opens and you jump to sit on the edge of the couch, much to Jungkookâs displeasure.
The rest of the group files into the large hotel room, they are all changed into more comfortable clothes. They look clean and refreshed, you realize just how tired and achy your body feels, you want to take a shower too.
Namjoon gives the youngest a hard look, âYou didnât change. You were in here the whole time? After we said weâd speak to her all together. How long were you alone with her? I told you-â
âI arrived only a couple minutes ago, nothing happened.â You interject, feeling the need to defend the youngest member.
Namjoon looks at you surprised. âYour Korean is good.â
You start to feel shy again, âNot really,â you speak in English instead.
âOkay, so letâs figure this out.â Namjoon starts, âJungkook, do you want to go first?â
âWait!â Taehyung interjects, âI thought-Joon donât you want to hold her hand?â
You stiffen. Namjoon goes red, âI-first letâs gather information.â
Taehyung goes to stand. You recoil in your seat. You turn to Namjoon, pleading, âI canât-I canât do it again.â
âYou donât know what youâre asking for, Tae-â
âSays you, you already got to touch her-â
âAnd thatâs why Iâm telling you not to do it-â
âNo one is touching her-â
âJoon, can you please talk some sense into them-â
âCan we please focus-â
âIf you get anywhere near her Iâm punching you in the face-â
âCan we all just calm down-â
âIâll punch you in the face-â
âNo one is punching anyone!â
âI thought we were supposed to be talking this out, not starting fights-â
âI knew this was a bad idea-â
âHow am I supposed to talk it out when I donât even know what it is-â
They all talk so fast and over each other you can barely understand anything they are saying, but you know itâs not anything good. This is getting nowhere. âI-Iâm so tired, I should really go home. I need to shower. Today has been...a long day.â
âYou can stay in one of the rooms! We have the whole floor-Ow!â Jimin hits Jungkook in the shoulder.
âI-I need to go to the bathroom.â You feel trapped again. You go to stand and you feel a hand tug on yours, itâs Yoongi. âTake a deep breath. Nothing is going to happen to you, I promise. Itâs okay to feel overwhelmed. You should at least rest before we take you home.â
You bite your lip, looking around at the men. Jungkook looks at you with hopeful eyes.
â....Okay.â
âIâll take her!â Jin, Yoongi, and Jungkook speak in unison. They look between one another. Jin, stands up, âIâll take her.â
You silently follow him out, hearing the boys start conversing again behind you. You stay behind him as he walks down the hall. Your face heats up again as you stare at the idolâs back. Is this really happening to you? You should leave.
Jin takes a keycard out of his pocket and opens the door, holding it open for you. You walk in, itâs smaller than the other room, still larger than any hotel room youâve ever been in. Jin picks up the suitcase from the middle of the room.
âIâll find another room to stay in.â You feel your chest tightening again at his words. âRest now, y/n, and then we can get to the bottom of this in the morning,â he smiles down at you. His eyes linger on you, about to speak again but he decides itâs better to wait.
You tug at his hoodie as he goes to leave. âIâŠâ you want to tell him not to leave you alone, âI donât have any clothes to change into.â
âOh, I can give you some of my clothes!â You bite your lip as you watch Jin set his suitcase on the bed and rummage through his clothes. He pulls out a collection of hoodies, shirts and pants, way too many clothes for one sleeping outfit.
âThank youâŠâ you walk with him to the door. He lingers there with you.
âThis...this is a good thing.â You cock your head to the side, Jin pats your head, âI found you after all.â And with that he leaves you to your thoughts.
---
After showering you feel so much better. You stand in your towel, looking around at the room. 'This must be a dream,' you think. Your hands run over the stack of Jinâs clothes. This stack probably costs more than all the clothes youâve ever bought in your entire life, you think. You sigh and pull on a shirt and sweatpants, and decide to throw on a hoodie too for good measure. You start to laugh as you look at yourself in the hotel roomâs mirror. Youâre sure you're going to wake up tomorrow and this will all be a wild dream. Youâre about to settle into bed when you hear a knock.
Jungkook stands in the hallway. He stares at you with wide eyes before looking at his feet. âI brought you clothes to wear.â
âOh,â you look at him shocked.
âI see someone already gave you theirs,â he looks crestfallen.
âYeah, Jin took care of that.â You pull on the strings of the hoodie in embarrassment.
âOh well for tomorrow morning, you can wear this.â
You donât have the heart to tell him Jin gave you enough clothes to cover an entire week. âThank you. Iâll wear it tomorrow.â
âOkay...good.â
You hold your breath. You want to keep talking to him. âYour English is good, you sound like an American now.â
Jungkook smiles, too shy to meet your eyes. âThank you.â
âYou can speak in Korean too, I understand. I am not that good at speaking it, but I guess now is the best time to practice.â You laugh. Jungkook nods at you, his smile growing wider.
âGoodnight, beautiful.â He winks at you. You feel your heart tighten at his words.
âJungkook!â He turns back around. âUm, sweet dreams.â
Jungkook looks you over. âCan I?â
âHuh?â He steps closer to you, you stay still. He reaches his arms out and wraps them around you in a hug. His head rests on the top of your head as he holds you close to him. It feels like you remember, his embrace feels the same. You grip onto the material of his long sleeve shirt. He holds you closer. All you can smell and feel is Jungkook.
Jungkook holds you close to him. He doesnât know how to feel. His heart aches in anguish over the thought of losing you again. He doesnât want to let you go.
In his arms you feel so safe, you relax against him. A wave of sleepiness crashes over you. Jungkook helps you into bed.
âIâll come get you in the morning.â He runs his hands over your forehead. The intimate gesture doesnât go unnoticed by you, but you're too tired to react. Your heart is full. Is this what true love feels like?
---
You stretch in your bed. Your muscles ache, you feel good after a night's rest. You snuggle into your pillow, itâs so fluffy and soft, softer than youâre used to, you pull your covers closer to you. You notice the large sleeves of your hoodie, and your sleepiness drains away. Itâs not your bed, and thatâs not your hoodie. You sit up, looking around the unfamiliar room, you feel like youâve been doused with cold water. Everything from the night before comes back to you. You pull the covers over your head, so much for a good morning.
You grab your phone. You have a text message: âcall me when you get home <3â and two missed calls. You bury your head into the pillows. You're about to call back when there is a knock at the door.
âOne minute!â You change into Jungkookâs clothes, a black long sleeve shirt and black sweatpants. Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you decide to change your pants for one of Jinâs joggers.
âHey!â You expected Jungkook to greet you, this was not who you expected.
"Hello." The deep voiced singer stands in front of you. You stare back at him. He walks into your room and takes a seat on the bed. You close the door behind you and walk over to Taehyung.
âIâm so sorry about last night! I would have never touched you without your permission. Iâm sorry I made you feel uncomfortable, Iâm so sorry. I just-I just needed to find out. I have to. I know youâre scared, Iâm scared too...Jungkook and I talked last night and he told me what happened, he said it was more than just memories, itâs like...an awakening. I mean, thatâs so cool. If we had another life together, wouldnât you want to know? Please y/n, I feel like Iâm going crazy not knowing-â
âSpeak slower please, Iâm still a beginner!â You laugh.
âSorry! Please y/n, please. Before the others wake up.â
You sigh, sitting next to him. âI think Jungkook is leaving out very important information...â
You continue, âWe not only lived, we died.â You shut your eyes and wrap your arms around you, âIâve lived and Iâve died 5 times now. Itâs horrible, itâs heartbreaking, itâs not something you can just forget.â
Taehyung sits quietly. âDo you regret it?â
You bite your lip. Do you regret it? You feel it still, the warmth of their love for you. The way they loved you, the way you loved them. Would you give that memory up? Even the lingering feelings in your body are stronger than anything youâve ever felt in your lifetime. Could you let it go now that you know what youâre missing?
Taehyung presses, âJungkook says he's happy it happened.â
You inhale sharply. You have to make him see. âJungkook died in my arms. He died after we tried so hard to run away together.â Taehyung eyes widen. âHe was murdered...â You shudder, Taehyung stays silent. âIs that the kind of âawakeningâ you want?â
He raises a hand to his mouth, stroking his chin. âHe didnât tell me about that...â And then he says something that makes your heart stop. âAnd he still said he's happy it happened, that he doesn't want to forget about you y/n.â
âPlease, I want to try, I think it would be worth it, youâll be worth it.â
âWhy did he have to say that,â you wince, looking over at the idol. He is beautiful, way out of your league, above you in every way, and heâs looking back at you like his whole world hangs in the balance. How could you reject him now. You groan.
You stand up. You place your palm in front of his face, your fingers splayed out, you can see his wide excited eyes in the gaps between them. You look at him expectantly. Taehyung nods, places his palm to yours, interlocking your fingers together.
---
Uh-oh the boys donât want to let you go now! I hope you liked this chapter as much as I liked writing it! Itâs kind of cool, all the different worlds. I neverrrr thought Iâd write an actiony spy enemies to lovers AU ever, trust. I had to get a lot of help with all the specific terminology, like me - guns - what - totally clueless, I just hope I did the story justice.
Hopefully this tides you over for awhile because we have a problem...I donât remember anything about Taeâs handshake! Cries. I know whatâs supposed to happen, but I also have no idea what happens lol. I know movie, but not movie name, if you get what Iâm saying. Please bestow some patience on me for the next chapter. Asks are always open, maybe you can give me some inspiration! <3
flawless ⚠Â
beautiful. BEAUTIFUL.
Fall in Hatred
â Words: 20k
â Genres: Fluff, Crack, Some Angst, Marriage!AU, Divorce!AU (kind of)
â Summary: You and Jin are over. When youâd rather stay with the spider thatâs set up shop in the bathroom (and whoâs become your new pet) than with your âhusbandâ in the living room, you know things arenât good. But when your entire, overbearing family gathers at the summer house and youâre forced to drag him along, escaping from him isnât so easy anymore. And maybeâŠjust maybeâŠyouâll have a change of heart.
â Warnings: Discussions and themes of divorce, lots and lots of arguing (some of which are light-hearted and others which are more intense). Also some sappiness that might be too cheesy, but fight me.
Cr.
Keep reading
have mercy
